Hate Week Pics

Photo C0urtesy of GregPanzer.com

This year's rivalry week seems to be as steamy as ever. Florida vs Florida State may be relevant again, South Carolina vs Clemson is favoring the Cocks, Georgia vs Georgia Tech may be the bowl of the biggest disappointment, and Auburn vs Alabama has huge implications just to talk about a few. This week, I'm going to do less talking and more picking.

Georgia vs Georgia Tech
The annual matchup of the frat boys vs the nerds is favoring the Dawgs by 17.5 last time I checked. Without the Josh "the Heisman" Nesbitt, the Jackets are in trouble. Murray has a week to rest and the Dawgs have to get bowl eligible. Richt is 8 - 1 vs Tech. Look for UGA to continue to run the state of Georgia.

Dawgs 42 vs Tech 20

Iron Bowl
Auburn is looking to go undefeated for the second time in the 2000s and if they are to win this, they won't be overlooked for the National Championship. For all the hype Bama had before the season, Auburn has been the team in Alabama to look like true champions. Look for Cam Newton to continue to play like a man among boys and Auburn to win the Iron Bowl.

Auburn 24 vs Alabama 21

Arizona vs Oregon
I don't think anyone can keep up with "ScOregon". The Quack Attack is fast and very talented. It's going to take a hell of a defensive stand to stop the Ducks and I don't think Arizona has what it takes.

Oregon 45 vs Arizona 17

Boise State vs Nevada
Boise continues it's run and ends this season undefeated yet again. Broncos get a BCS bowl and the Dawgs in the Dome to open next year. Nevada won't be able to keep up with Moore and the Broncos.

Broncos 42 vs Nevada 28

LSU vs Arkansas
LSU is on their way to a one loss season and a BCS bowl game and Petrino's Hogs will not stop the Mad Hatter's crazy luck. The SEC will have two teams in the BCS again this year and both will win no matter who they play. Geaux Tigers!

Tigers 23 vs Hogs 17

Michigan vs Ohio State
Ohio State will put an end to RichRod's tenure in Ann Arbor, thankfully. Let's go Buckeyes!

Michigan 10 vs Ohio State 24

Oklahoma vs Oklahoma State
Landry Jones has been all OU could ask for and Justin Blackmon has given Cowboy's fans a bit of a relief after losing Dez Bryant. This should be a good game, but I think the Sooners have what it takes to pull of the upset.

Sooners 21 vs Cowboys 17

Florida vs Florida State
The Gaytors found something in Trey Burton and it may have saved Steve Adazzio's job. While I don't think Florida is that good this year, I can't see them losing to Florida State. Sorry Noles, I hate picking Gaytors in anything.

Gaytors 31 vs Noles 17

South Carolina vs Clemson
South Carolina finally has the talent to not only compete with, but beat up on in-state rival Clemson. Marcus Lattimore and Alshon Jeffery are too good to be contained. South Carolina sweeps the SEC/ACC challenge with a decisive win.

Cocks 24 vs Tigers 10

COLLEGE FOOTBALL AWARD FINALISTS

With less than 3 games left in the regular season the major college football award selections have officially narrowed down their lists to a final 3. I've watched a ridiculous amount of college gridiron action again this season and if I had a vote these would be my selections. I obviously don't have a vote which is a crime in itself.

Chuck Bednarik Award (best defensive player)
Da’Quan Bowers, Jr., Clemson-Bowers gets my vote. He has twice the amount of sacks and TFL as Fairley but with a lot less fanfare. He will be a top 5 NFL pick.

Nick Fairley, Jr., Auburn-The JUCO transfer has literally been the one bright spot on the Tiger's defense and he has dominated every game I've personally watched. He probably will win the award because Auburn is undefeated but I will still take Bowers over him.

Patrick Peterson, Jr., LSU-Peterson is another incredible talent but I would have to pick Fairley over him as SEC Defensive Player of the Year.

Fred Biletnikoff Award (best receiver)
Justin Blackmon, So., Oklahoma State-Blackmon in a landslide vote. The guy has been incredible and has made Cowboy fans forget about Dez Bryant real quick.

Ryan Broyles, Jr., Oklahoma-I'm not a huge fan of Broyles and I personally think he is more a product of the system but whatever, his stats look great on paper.

Alshon Jeffery, So., South Carolina-Jeffery made some huge clutch catches for the Cocks and benefitted from the AJ Green suspension to earn SEC WR of the year.

Lou Groza Award (best kicker)
Dan Bailey, Sr., Oklahoma State-22-for-25 this season but not perfect.

Danny Hrapmann, Jr., Univ. of Southern Miss.-23-for-25 this season but then again not perfect.

David Ruffer, Sr., Notre Dame-They have to give the award to Ruffer, or Rufner as Tom Hammond always calls him. The walk-on never even played organize football till he tried out for Notre Dame through the intramural program. He is a PERFECT 15-for-15 this season and literally every one of his kicks have been right down the middle. It will be a crime if he doesn't win.

Ray Guy Award (best punter)
Drew Butler, Jr., Georgia-Butler has been a little inconsistent with his punting.

Ryan Donahue, Sr., Iowa-No fucking clue honestly.

Chas Henry, Sr., Florida-With Addazio calling the plays Henry has gotten a ton of work. In fact he deserves to win it and should personally thank Addazio for the piss poor Gators offense.

Maxwell Award (best all-around player)
First off let me say that this is a crying shame that Denard Robinson is not on this list. I hate Michigan but if you have watched college football this year there should be little doubt Robinson is one of if not the best all-around player in the game. He has literally carried Michigan all season and probably saved DickRod's job in Ann Arbor. If they had any defense he would be the Heisman frontrunner. Oh yeah and he is the only guy in college football history to rush for 1500 yards and throw for over 1500 yards in a season. He also is the all-time leading rusher for a QB in one season. Shoelace deserves to be on this list.

Andrew Luck, Jr., Stanford-Luck is the best pure quarterback in the nation. Unfortunately for him Newton is having a better overall season in a tougher defensive conference.

Kellen Moore, Jr., Boise State-Moore is a great player but Shoelace should have been a finalist instead of him.

Cam Newton, Jr., Auburn-Newton has carried Auburn all season. He is their team. Without him Auburn has 4 losses minimum. He deserves the award.

Davey O’Brien Award (best quarterback)
Andrew Luck, So., Stanford-If Luck gets Stanford to the Rose Bowl with an 11-1 record with the only loss being to #1 Oregon then I think he is the best quarterback in the nation and deserves this award. I know it's confusing but if I had to pick one guy who I would want behind center with less than two minutes to go and could drive us down the field for the winning score it would be Luck. Luck is a franchise QB and he has running/scrambling ability.

Kellen Moore, Jr., Boise State-Good for him for being a finalist but I would rather have Newton, Luck and Robinson right now.

Cam Newton, Jr., Auburn-Luck is a better passer in my opinion. Nothing against Newton because the Heisman is basically his but I think Luck is the better QB.

Outland Trophy (best interior lineman)
I can't honestly pick a winner here because I've seen very little of these guys play. So I will just leave it up to you the reader to pick.

Gabe Carimi, Sr., Wisconsin
Rodney Hudson, Sr., Florida State
Nate Solder, Sr., Colorado

Jim Thorpe Award (best defensive back)
Prince Amukamara, Sr., Nebraska-I know I'm going to get some flack from Husker Nation but Prince is kinda overrated. Or maybe he just didn't have a great season. He got burnt a lot.

Tejay Johnson, Sr., TCU-Looked good but it's pretty obvious who wins this award.

Patrick Peterson, Jr., LSU-Without a doubt the winner. Peterson will be the first CB taken in the NFL draft.

Doak Walker Award (best running back)
This has been a rather shitty year for running backs. In fact I would rather take Cam or Shoelace as a running back then any of these three finalists. All of these guys have holes in their games. So in conclusion I don't like any of these guys for the Doak Walker but if I had to pick one I would say....Shoelace.

John Clay, Jr., Wisconsin
Kendall Hunter, Sr., Oklahoma State
LaMichael James, So., Oregon

HEISMAN TOP 5
1. Cam Newton
2. Denard "Shoelace" Robinson
3. Andrew Luck
4. Patrick Peterson
5. Justin Blackmon

UGA vs Boise State in 2011 Season Opener

Photo courtesy of Scout.com and Dean Legge

Bill King's brother summed up next year's, now official, Chick fil a opening kickoff game that matches Georgia vs. Boise State in the Dome. “It will be the first win in an undefeated season,” he responded. “I’ll let you know later as to which team I’m talking about.” - Tim King

I'm not sure that canceling a home and home with Louisville was the best idea. Yes, this gives UGA a more nationally known, and much stronger, opponent than Louisville, but with UGA's last two season, is that really best for the Dawgs? Last year's opening loss to Oklahoma State set the table for an 8 - 5 season. I'm not saying the Dawgs can't handle Boise State, but the looming question is what if they can't?

I've still got my fingers crossed that UGA has a few secret commitments that Coach Richt hasn't let anyone know about. Typically, UGA does have a trick or two up their sleeve, and this year (cough cough Isaiah Crowell cough cough) should be no different in bringing a true play maker to Athens (cough cough Isaiah Crowell cough cough). Maybe the Boise game in the Dome will help with recruiting. Ray Drew, Isaiah Crowell, Malcom Mitchell, Jay Rome, just to name a few, are still on the board and are very high on UGA's wish list.

On top of a great recruiting class, next year's D should be somewhat improved with the addition of Jarvis Jones and Richard Samuel moving to his natural position as a linebacker. Also, year two under Todd Grantham and year two with Aaron Murray should be hugely helpful. Let's all pray Mr. AJ Green himself makes a reappearance in the Red and Black next year to go with Justin Houston staying an extra year to get a full grasp of the 3-4 before heading off to a long and prosperous NFL career himself.

Personally, I'm excited for the Dawgs to get a big game on a big stage. Like Bill King said, "the Broncos haven’t yet beaten an SEC team and will lose some of the talent from their current team, but this isn’t the same Boise State program that D.J. and company throttled 48-13 in Athens back in 2005." But, I think McGarity made a great move. I think he is right for the program and can't wait for the future in Athens.

Check out Bill King's blog at http://blogs.ajc.com/junkyard-blawg/ and GOOOOOO DAWGS!!!

MATTY ICE SHITS ALL OVER THE COMPETITION

Skidmarks image via TheBigLead


Matt Ryan led the Atlanta Falcons to a 34-17 win in the most violent city in the nation in St. Louis and apparently it caused him to shit his pants. Matty Ice is usually cool under pressure but when it comes to the buffets in St. Louis it can cause a little Mississippi River action...

My team cemented the best record in our conference, but just before halftime the pregame buffet caught up with me. Why do we wear white pants again?

Oh Matty you glorious shitter. The Falcons now sit at 8-2 with a huge home game against the Packers this Sunday. The Packers and Falcons are the two best teams in the NFC and whoever wins is in the driver's seat for home field advantage. I know I am going to sound like a complete homer but I don't think I would take any other QB in the league right now over Ryan. The Packer's Aaron Rodgers is the better athlete and Tom Brady has more rings and Peyton Manning has more MVP's but if there is two minutes left in a game and the Falcons need a score to win it I would take Ryan over them. Rodgers and Manning would probably throw an INT and Brady isn't exactly the king of comebacks.

And yes I know Michael Vick is having a special season up in Philly but nobody in their right mind would take him as their franchise quarterback over Ryan, Manning, Rodgers, and Brady. You know it's just a matter of time before he fucks up again. It's in his DNA so he can't help it.

Week 12

Week 12 picks are going to be short and sweet. Sorry guys, but haven't had any time at all in the last few weeks to do much. Here it comes...

Nebraska vs Texas AM
Huskers are bigger and badder. Take nothing away from the Aggies, they've had a great run at the end, but they don't have the team to beat the Huskers.

Huskers 38 vs Texas AM 17

Ohio State vs Iowa
I said earlier in the year that this would be the Buckeyes biggest test and I still think Iowa is very good, but I'm not convinced they are ready for a Buckeye team on cruise control right now. Terrell Pryor is playing much better near the end of the season and while I still think the Hawkeyes are very good, not sure they will be good enough today.

Buckeyes 21 vs Iowa 17

Arkansas vs Miss State
I would say this is an important one in the West, but this is more of a battle of the bigger bowl. Arkansas is good and should be at full strength this week. I think it's fair to say Mississippi State has been a huge surprise in the SEC this season. While this may be a great game, Arkansas has more firepower and will win this shoot out.

Hogs 42 vs Dogs 31

Miami vs Va Tech
The Hurricanes have a new starting QB and fourth string Morriss is going to have a huge test today against a strong Hokie team. The Hokies have Ryan Williams back and are looking like the future winners of the ACC. Even though Miami is playing at home, the Hokies are too good for the Hurricanes this year. Look for a tough match and if special teams have anything to say about it, we all know Beamer Ball is the best in the nation.

Hurricanes 10 vs Hokies 28

TOM BRADY TRIED TO DO WHAT?

SCOREGON QUACK ATTACK SHIRT

Another new SportsCrack tee creation called Scoregon: Quack Attack.
Get it SCOR-E-GON. They are only $17 and as always a portion of all sales go to the American Cancer Society.

KING FELIX WINS CY YOUNG

The greatest thing about King Felix Hernandez winning the Cy Young is the thought of Peter Gammons farting out a mixture of C.C. Sabathia and Jon Lester baby batter right now in shock. Hernandez was the obvious winner yet there are jackasses everywhere on Facebook (staring you down Kige Ramsey) whom bitch and moan about him not deserving it because he played on a losing team. Idiots.

THE INEVITABLE: SON OF A PREACHER MAN (CAM NEWTON EDITION)

Is this guy's name really MoonPie? What was Oatmeal Cream Pie taken or something? Holy fuck I use to love MoonPie back in the day but I think if I had one now I would be shitting for days on end. The song is actually decent. Kind of funny too. As long as Cam Newton keeps playing he will always have the last laugh. Personally I hope he does keep playing. The kid is fun as hell to watch. He's the black version of Tim Tebow except Tebow probably made twice as much as Cam did in college considering he was a three year starter.

127 HOURS LOOKS GREAT BUT WHEN THE FUCK DOES IT COME TO ATLANTA?

I've been frantically looking all over the internet trying to find out when the newest Danny Boyle flick hits Atlanta theaters and I've had no luck. Can somebody please find out for me? The true story about Aron Ralston getting trapped under a boulder and somehow surviving by unimaginable ways is sure to be a great movie with director Boyle putting his touches on it. Some of my favorite movies include 28 Days Later, Trainspotting, and Slumdog Millionaire so you know Boyle will do a kickass job on this one. So somebody help a brother out. I'm not an idiot but for some reason this movie was released back in September or some shit and I can't find it playing anywhere.

MICHAEL FLOYD IS NOT ONE OF THE TEN BEST RECEIVERS IN THE GAME?

Yesterday the Biletnikoff Award announced their 10 semifinalists for the best receiver in the country. And for some bizarre reason they left Notre Dame's Michael Floyd off the list. Yep, somehow Floyd is not considered a top 10 receiver in the college game. Holy shit I hate these fucking awards. Here are your semifinalists and their stats compared to Floyd:

Oklahoma State Justin Blackmon-84 catches 1430 yards 16 TD's
Blackmon should be the run away winner. Despite the one game suspension because of a DUI he has dominated every game. He isn't the best receiver in the college game but he is having the best season and deserves to win it.

Oklahoma’s Ryan Broyles-94 catches 1196 yards 11 TD's
Broyles is a good possession receiver and his stats are unreal this year. He is more a product of the system though.

Texas A&M’s Jeff Fuller-61 catches 923 yards 11 TD's
What a shock, another fucking Big 12 receiver. Fuller has good numbers but nobody in their right mind would take him over Floyd.

Kentucky’s Randall Cobb-66 catches 839 yards 7 TD's
Cobb's stats are about identical to MF. He has a few more catches and a few more yards and MF has more TD's. Ask any NFL GM who would they rather have and 99.9% would say Floyd.

Georgia’s A.J. Green-41 catches 674 yards 9 TD's
Green is the best in the game, no doubt. Even with Blackmon's season I would still say Green is the most dominant receiver. But shouldn't a suspension of 4 games for violating NCAA rules (albeit dumb rules) void you from contention for an award?

South Carolina’s Alshon Jeffrey-65 catches 1087 yards 7 TD's
No argument here. Jeffrey is having a solid season and is one of the nation's best. I would still take Floyd over him though.

Alabama Julio Jones-58 catches 799 yards 4 TD's
Floyd has the same amount of catches and yards receiving but he has 5 more TD's with a freshman QB in a first year system. There is no fucking way Julio should be on this list above Floyd. Julio is a good player but ever since high school he has been a little overhyped.

SMU’s Aldrick Robinson-50 catches 994 yards 10 TD's
SMU still has a football team? Robinson is putting up great stats in June Jones offense. So does every other receiver.

Hawaii’s Greg Salas-83 catches 1246 yards 8 TD's
No one is going to take a pineapple fucker over Floyd. No one. Nice stats though.

Western Michigan’s Jordan White-72 catches 1057 yards 8 TD's
I mean you got to be shitting me right? A Western fucking Michigan receiver! Notre Dame played them this year and Michael Floyd ran circles around White.

Notre Dame's Michael Floyd-59 catches 767 yards 9 TD's
Granted Floyd's stats are not as incredible as last year's winner Golden Tate but then again Golden was catching balls from Jimmy Clausen who was deadly accurate. Dayne Crist when healthy was streaky at best and now Floyd is catching balls from a true freshman in Tommy Rees under a first year spread offense under coach Brian Kelly and still is putting up comparable stats to the ten semifinalists. I'm not saying Floyd is the best receiver in the country (I would rather have Green and Blackmon right now) but he is definitely top 5. There is no reason he should be left off this list. The one game he missed this season was the Navy game. Notre Dame's offense was anemic because of it.

Floyd's combination of size (6'3 235 lbs) and speed (I'm banking he runs a solid 4.4-4.5 even on the shitty field conditions of Notre Dame) plus his hands makes him one of the top 5 receivers in the college game. Some people will want to point out a drop here or there or a fumble but every single player on this list has had those this season. In conclusion Floyd got screwed of the recognition he deserved. Now he needs to take out his frustration on Army and USC the next two weeks and show the country he deserves to be in the same discussion as the other semifinalists.

I'M SHOCKED THESE TWO ASSHOLES ARE GETTING DIVORCED

A professional basketball player cheated on his wife. Holy shit! Why Tony? Why?

Maybe because she made him do this stupid ass Grease musical. Shame on Eva Longoria. Now go wax that mustache short stuff and start sluttin it up again.

ATLANTA FALCONS ARE THE NEW #1 TEAM IN THE NFL

Thank god the NFL doesn't use bullshit ranking systems and computers when it comes to deciding the SuperBowl Champion but it is refreshing to see so many experts pick the Atlanta Falcons as the best team in the "power rankings."

The latest is ESPN. They got the Falcons #1 followed by the Patriots, Jets, Ravens, and Steelers. Right now the Falcons are in the driver's seat for the #1 seed in the NFC at 7-2. Getting homefield advantage throughout would be huge. Matt Ryan is 18-1 in the friendly confines of the Georgia Dome. 4 of the next 5 games are on the road with Green Bay being the lone home game next Sunday. If the Falcons can go 3-2 (beat St. Louis, Tampa, and Carolina) then there chances of locking up the #1 seed is good. If they can go 4-1 (beat all the above mentioned and one of Green Bay or Seattle on the road) then homefield is pretty much guarenteed with the final two games (New Orleans and Carolina) of the season being in the Dome.

13-3 gets it done. 12-4 and you could be looking at a road playoff game in Philly, New York, or Green Bay.

Just win Matty Ice!

BRAVES GET THE RIGHT HANDED POWER BAT THEY WANTED IN DAN UGGLA

Atlanta Braves General Manager Frank Wren knew going into this offseason that his ball club had a major gaping hole in it's lineup: power right handed bat. Yesterday he accomplished one of his goals by acquiring second baseman Dan Uggla from the Florida Marlins for Omar Infante and Mike Dunn. In the last 5 seasons only one right handed National League player has more home runs than Uggla. His name is Albert Pujols.

Uggla will more than likely start at second base with fellow All-Star Martin Prado moving to third base. With the infield complete (Freddie Freeman at 1B, Alex Gonzalez at SS and Brian McCann at C) the Braves will now look to make a drastic improvement to the outfield. The only player penciled into new coach Fredi Gonzalez lineup is Jason Heyward in RF. Nate McLouth could be the starting CF which would be absolutely horrible in my opinion. There is no left fielder unless they resign Matt Diaz. The Diamondbacks have made it known that 23 year old budding superstar Justin Upton is on the market. He would be the perfect left fielder for the Braves. He's young, steals bases, has power, and is signed through 2015. It would take a lot to get Upton and the DBacks are looking for arms. If I'm the Braves there is no way in hell I trade Tommy Hanson, Johnny Venters, or Craig Kimbrel. Everyone else is available for Upton. I would think Julio Teheran and Jair Jurrjens gets the deal done easily. If I'm the Braves I would try to trade Mike Minor, Brandon Beachy, and one of Teheran/Jurrjens for Upton and see if they would put Stephen Drew in with the deal.

If this deal could go through you are looking at this potential lineup:
LF-Justin Upton
3B-Martin Prado
RF-Jason Heyward
2B-Dan Uggla
C-Brian McCann
1B-Freddie Freeman
SS-Alex Gonzalez
CF-Nate McLouth/anybody else

This is a lineup that would score a shitload of runs. The pitching would still be excellent with Huddy, Hanson, and Lowe anchoring the staff and one of the best bullpens in the league.

What do you think the Braves and Frank Wren should do to improve the ballclub?

WHO IS CARMELO ANTHONY?

I can excuse the girl for not knowing the answer but the guy from Georgia Southern is just flat out embarrassing. "Who is Carmelo Anthony?"...are you fucking kidding me kid? Everyone knows it's Lebron James. Idiot.

A BLOODY WHITE VERSION OF LAWRENCE TAYLOR

Once the lights came back on at Giants Stadium all hell broke loose. I would be fired up too if I paid good money to see my team get their asses kicked by the 1-7 Cowgirls.

With the Giants losing here are my top 5 NFC Teams in terms of Power Rankings:
1) Atlanta Falcons
2) Green Bay Packers
3) Philadelphia Eagles
4) New York Giants
5) New Orleans Saints

A NEW PRODUCT FOR UGA NATION

Come on Georgia fans. You are better than this. Please stop complaining about Auburn playing dirty. It's football. You lost. Deal with it. Now go stomp on those Nerds and make a bowl game.

CLEVER COLLEGE GAMEDAY SIGN FROM COLUMBUS

And here I was thinking the Buckeyes Nation in general had very little reading and writing comprehension. Tressel and crew did a good tease job with "Weekend at Bernies" and myself in the first half before slaughtering them and covering the 19 points.

BUSTER POSEY WINS ROOKIE OF THE YEAR...HEYWARD PONDERS LAWSUIT

In what appears as a clear cut trademark infringement case today SportsCrack.com has learned exclusively* that Buster Posey has stolen the rights to the Rookie of the Year Award from Jason "The J-K's Kid" Heyward. Heyward and the media on his behalf claimed rights at the start of the season to the "National League Rookie of the Year" saying and that Heyward had exclusive rights to the award. Despite Posey's better stats and actual production in the playoffs while playing a tougher position and leading the Giants to their first World Series title in San Francisco Heyward felt he deserved the award because his batting coach back in middle school claimed he would win the Award and thus he had exclusive rights.

When asked for comment about the possible lawsuit and legal ramifications for Posey if he does not return the Rookie of the Year Award to Heyward Buster simply replied: "Try not striking out so fucking much J-Kward!"

Spoken like a true gentleman.

* exclusively=complete and utter bullshit, please don't sue us. It's a joke.

Disclaimer: none of these quotes or any part of this story is factual other than the fact that Posey deserved the Rookie of the Year and Heyward does in fact strike out way too much.

ARGENTINA'S DANCING WITH THE STARS IS MORE FAMILY FRIENDLY

And by "family friendly" if you count motorboating and finger blasting as normal viewing pleasures. I mean WOW! I literally thought they were going to fuck right there. It was as clear as day. If the host didn't stop it there would have been body fluids all over the cameras. I need to go take a cold shower immediately.

Video via BarStoolSports