Bobby Petrino Fired According to Joe Schad

According to ESPN's Joe Schad Arkansas has decided to part ways with football head coach Bobby Petrino. Who would have thought the whole "if you nailed a girl half your age in your office who was engaged to someone you work with you yourself a currently married man with kids and then crashed your hog with your mistress with you while giving you reach arounds and then lie to your superiors about the whole thing" would get you fired? I just didn't see this coming at all. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and now Petrino can enjoy his time off from his job, his family, shit basically his whole life.

Before you even ask the leading candidate and pretty much the only candidate I can think of to replace Petrino will be Arkansas State head coach Gus Malzahn, a former Razorback player and offensive coordinator. Malzahn is familiar with the conference, the state, and can recruit with the best of them. This might turn into an Ohio State situation where the school actually upgrades at the head coaching position despite a scandal. You gotta love college football!

The Ballad of Bobby Petrino Song

Via The Chris Vernon Show comes the ballad that is bound to become the state song of Arkansas. Alabama may have "Sweet Home Alabama" but they sure as shit don't have "The Ballad of Bobby Petrino."


Now go ahead and get the Bobby Petrino shirt you've been dying for...

Protesters Pushing Against Marlins Front Door Demanding Ozzie Guillen's Dismissal

The Miami Herald has this picture of hundreds of protesters freaking out because an idiot baseball manager said he likes Fidel Castro. This is actually great news for the Marlins organization. They now have more fans showing up to protest than people who buy tickets. As they say in business there is no such thing as bad publicity and the Marlins and Ozzie Guillen are getting a ton of it right now.

I still think they are there to protest that monstrosity in the outfield and not Guillen's words of support for ole Fidel. But hey maybe that's just me. Here are Guillen's exact words about Castro:

“He’s a bull—- dictator and everybody’s against him, and he still survives, has power. Still has a country behind him,’’ Ozzie replied. “Everywhere he goes, they roll out the red carpet. I don’t admire his philosophy; I admire him.’’

What do you think about Guillen's 5 game suspension? Too harsh or about right? Another shitstorm caused by the media distorting the words and facts?

Some Signs from the Pro-Bobby Petrino Rally

It's all about forgiving, forgetting, and of course winning in Arkansas. Woo Pig Sooie!!!!

Show your support for a non licensed t-shirt seller by buying this shirt.


Oh yeah here is a not weird at all video of the Save Coach Petrino Rally via ShirtsWithRandomTriangles

Blue Jays Female Fans Love Their J. P. Arencibia

Oh those funny Canadians are at it again. Our friendly neighbor up north gave us the hilarious "Kids in the Hall" series and imported such stars as Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, Leslie Nielsen, and Phil Hartman among others to our national airwaves. And now two young females Canucks are going after the funny sexual innuendo t-shirt business. Their infatuation is for Blue Jays catcher JP Arencibia who is known to throw from his knees...

"HEY JP, IT'S B-JAY TIME!" and "JP, CHECK OUT MY DUGOUT"

Remember ladies, no glove, no love.

Via TheBigLead via Jimmy Traina

Rob Gronkowski Wants The Madden '13 Cover Spikes The Shit Out Of Megatron

Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski is a free spirit you could say. Gronk led the NFL in touchdown receptions last year, fucks porn stars, rocks out Jersey Shore style with a gimpy ankle in night clubs after a Super Bowl loss, and now apparently has the smallest flat screen I've ever seen for a professional athlete. I guess I just presumed all famous athletes had like 90 inch televisions with 3D, LCD, Double D's, whatever included. Shit was I wrong. You gotta love the Fathead of himself up on the wall and the framed jersey of himself just chilling on the floor at his abode. It's good to know the NFL has humbled the Gronk when he isn't spiking the shit out of Megatron action figures.

Video via Deadspin

Guns Don't Kill People...Yoenis Cespedes Does

Talk about a fucking moon shot! Oakland A's rookie outfielder Yoenis Cespedes, the recent Cuban import, absolutely destroyed this lefty offering Friday night. Cespedes swing is just violence encapsulated. I was trying to think of who it reminded me of finally it came to me: Dante Bichette. It's uncanny how similar their swings are. Just four games into his major league career and the 26 year old has 3 bombs and 7 RBIs. Can we call him a Bash Brother yet? Nah...too premature. Give it 5 games.

Congrats to Bubba Watson

UGA's own Bubba Watson pulled off a spectacular 4 rounds at the Masters this weekend to win his first major and capture the famous green jacket. SportsCrack would like to congratulate Bubba on conquering Augusta with a near flawless performance and one of the best hook shots executed on #10 in the playoffs that we have ever seen. We grew up huge fans of "The Dukes of Hazzard" and it gives us great comfort to know that Bubba can now wear his green jacket while driving one of the General Lees he bought last year. So if you see this guy driving around Atlanta today in his General Lee give him a friendly honk...he just won the Masters!



Here's a tip of the cap to you Mr. Bubba Watson. Keep rocking those overalls and rocking out the pink driver with 350 yard bombs lefty...

Happy Easter From Kate Upton

THE NEW BOBBY PETRINO'S HOG RIDES ALWAYS GOOD FOR A REACH AROUND T-SHIRT

Ozzie Guillen's Postgame Routine is "Go To The Hotel Bar, Get Drunk, Sleep"

It's refreshing in a cynical sports world when an athlete or in this instance a manager can be honest when it comes to their drinking. The Miami Marlins new manager Ozzie Guillen was asked what he does on the road after the game. Guillen as always didn't shy away from the brutal truth according to Larry Brown Sports...

“I go to the hotel bar, get drunk, sleep,” Guillen said, according to Eye on Baseball. “I don’t do anything else.”

Guillen says he doesn’t even do much sight seeing when visiting cities.

“I get drunk because I’m happy we win or I get drunk because I’m very sad and disturbed because we lose,” Guillen said. “Same routine, it never changes. It’s been the same routine for 25, 28 years. It doesn’t change. I don’t like to go out.”

God bless you Ozzie Guillen. I would like to think Guillen drinks a lot because he is still plagued by the baseball gods (or in this case idiot writers) who gave him the Gold Glove in 1990 over Cal Ripken despite Ripken setting a major league record for fewest errors and highest fielding percentage by a shortstop. Having that kind of weight on your shoulders must be debilitating knowing you stole an award that clearly deserved to go to someone else.

Nah! He's just a drunk. Cheers!

College Football Needs A Gold Old Fashion Juicy Story: Bobby Petrino Abides With Motorcycle Crash

It's seems like it's been months since we have had a juicy college football story hit the news wire. 2012 so far has remained scandalous free up until Bobby Petrino decided to not only get in a motorcycle accident with his helmet off but was also carrying a young attractive blonde by the name of Jessica Dorrell. And like they say when your riding in tandems it's always kind to give a reach around. Deadspin.com has more details....

The police report for Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino's motorcycle crash on Sunday shows he had a previously unmentioned passenger: Jessica Dorrell, recently named student-athlete development coordinator for football.

OPERATOR PETRINO (V-1) WAS TRAVELING WEST ON HIS MOTORCYLE IN THE WESTBOUND LANE OF ARKANSASSTATE HIGHWAY 16 WITH PASSENGER DORRELL RIDING ON THE BACK. FOR AN UNKNOWN REASON, V-1 (PETRINO) TRAVELED ACROSSTHE WESTBOUND FOG LINE AS HE WAS APPLYING THE BRAKES. AFTER TRAVELING OFF THE NORTH SIDE OF THE ROADWAY THE REAROF V-1 (PETRINO'S MOTORCYCLE) BEGAN ROTATING COUNTERCLOCKWISE CAUSING V-1 (PETRINO) TO LAY OVER ONTO ITS LEFT SIDE.WHILE ON ITS LEFT SIDE, V-1 SLID NORTHWEST THROUGH A GRASSY ROAD DITCH, STRIKING A PILE OF DIRT AND TREE LIMBS IN THENORTH ROAD DITCH.

Dorrell was a four-time letterwinner in volleyball , and progressed to handling fundraising duties for the Razorback Foundation. Just last week she was named a development coordinator for the football team, and will "handle on-campus recruiting and work with incoming players on eligibility issues." It also seems she's supposed to get married in June. Her fiancé works for the swim team.

Arkansas's initial statement on Monday morning said the accident "involved no other individuals."

As an Atlanta Falcons fan who saw Petrino walk out in midseason on the team when the going got rough for Fayetteville this can't help but bring a huge grin to my face. Petrino is a snake. But the guy wins and he wins big so people put up with his shit. Now it will be interesting to see how Petrino addresses the situation. Apology to his family? Denies the allegations all together? Pull a Damon Evans and resign? Starts screaming PIG SOOI?



UPDATE: Bobby Petrino admits to "previously inappropriate relationship" and has been placed on administrative leave by the Arkansas Athletic Director. Basically he was boning Dorrell a girl half his age even though he is married with four kids. And this is in Arkansas. One can only imagine what Nick Saban is pulling in Tuscaloosa.

Here is another picture of Dorrell.


Look at the smirk on Petrino's face. He's probably getting foothead.

Rampage Jackson Has A Rape Video Out

I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that this was probably not the best decision by UFC star Rampage Jackson. It's a fairly awful attempt at humor. At least that is what I am hoping Rampage was going for. Because you know that whole rape thing is generally frowned upon. Unless it involves Catholics priests. Those jokes just never get old.

MLB 2012 Preseason Predictions

Bring me some peanuts, cracker jacks, and some fucking cold brewskis because baseball is back! The cumweed is fresh, the pitchers arms haven't yet fallen off, and every fanbase thinks they have a shot at going to the playoffs. You gotta love the start of the baseball season!

Here are my preseason predictions.

AL East Champs-Tampa Bay Rays. I got the Rays because of their excellent pitching winning a close divisional race over the Yankees. The Yankees have the better lineup but the Rays have the much better starting pitching and also the better manager while also playing in an environment that isn't the pressure cooker of the Bronx.

Predicted finish: Rays, Yankees, Red Sox, Blue Jays, Orioles

AL Central Champs-Detroit Tigers. The Tigers should run away with this division. They added Prince and their pitching will be better. Plus the Central is rather weak this year with the White Sox and Twins crumbling.

Predicted finish: Tigers, Indians, Twins, Royals, White Sox

AL West Champs-I obviously like the moves the Angels made in the offseason but I still gotta stick with the two time defending AL Champs in the Texas Rangers. The Rangers lineup is outstanding and although they lost CJ Wilson to the Angels I wouldn't be surprised to see his replacement in Yu Darvish put up better numbers.

Predicted finish: Rangers, Angels, A's, Mariners

Two Wild Cards-New York Yankees and Anaheim Angels. Yes this year there are two Wild Card teams in each league. Joy. We wouldn't want to focus on a salary cap or anything.

AL Champs-New York Yankees. Nope that is not a typo. It's a gut feeling the Yankees win the AL. Trust me I don't want it to happen.

AL MVP-Albert Pujols
AL Cy Young-Felix Hernandez
AL Rookie of the Year-Matt Moore

NL East Champs-The Phillies might not have a great lineup but their starting three of Halladay, Lee, and Hamels is unmatched in baseball. It will be a closer race than in the past with the Marlins and Nationals improving but the Mets should be horrible and the Braves will take a step back after a horrific September collapse.

Predicted finish: Phillies, Marlins, Nationals, Braves, Mets

NL Central Champs-Cincinnati Reds will bounce back after a disappointing 2011. The Cardinals still have a fighting chance despite losing their best player, their manager and their pitching coach and quite possibly their best pitcher if Chris Carpenter can't come back. This is going to be the best division not named the AL East. The Brewers still have a shot despite losing Prince and the Pirates should be better. Don't worry the Astros and the Cubs will still suck donkey balls.

Predicted finish: Reds, Cardinals, Brewers, Pirates, Cubs, Astros

NL West Champs-The San Francisco Giants should win the division because they have the best pitching. But then again they didn't last season and the surprising D' Backs took it so you never know what could happen. The Dodgers should be better with the best player and pitcher in the league leading the way. The Rockies and Padres just don't have enough talent to compete.

Predicted finish:Giants, Dodgers, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Padres

Two Wild Cards-St. Louis Cardinals and Miami Marlins. Both the Cards and the Marlins will barely miss out on winning their divisions but get the Wild Card as a consolation prize.

NL Champs-San Francisco Giants. I think the Giants bounce back in a big way this season and go back to the World Series.

NL MVP-Matt Kemp
NL Cy Young-Clayton Kershaw
NL Rookie of the Year-Bryce Harper

WORLD SERIES CHAMPS-San Francisco Giants over the New York Yankees in 6 games.

Blake Griffin Posterized Pau Gasol Twice Last Night

Click above for the awesome The Blake Show shirt.


The LA Clippers lost to the Lakers last night but that doesn't prevent me from posting these two insane dunks by one Blake Griffin. Here is the first dunk in which Griffin follows up a missed shot only to sky over Pau Gasol and throw it home emphatically. Watch the replay closely to see Gasol's face. Fucking priceless!


And then Griffin decided to do it again. This time he launches over Gasol and of course Gasol handles it like the bitch he is by complaining to the ref. Dude you got posterized twice! Take it like a man.


Videos via TheBigLead

Sport Science Shows Why Michael Floyd Will Be A Top 10 Pick

We have seen Michael Floyd for the past 4 seasons under the bright lights of the Golden Dome perform like a freak on the gridiron. There is a reason why Floyd holds school records in catches, career 100 yard games, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns: he can't be stopped. We didn't need Sport Science to prove anything in regard to Floyd's playing ability but it does help solidify his standing as a top 10 pick.

One could make an argument for Justin Blackmon being the better receiver right now by the numbers he put up in the inflated Big 12 conference because he had a quarterback in Brandon Weeden who could throw precision passes against inferior defenses but honestly what kind of numbers do you think Floyd would have put up if he didn't have Tommy Rees throwing to him the past 2 seasons? 130 receptions per season? 1600 yards per season? I think it's fair to say that Michael Floyd will be the better receiver in the NFL and right now than Blackmon. He's 2-3 inches taller than Blackmon. He's faster than Blackmon (Floyd ran a 4.2 at the combine that Blackmon skipped). His vertical leap is better. He is stronger than Blackmon and he is bigger. So why is Blackmon a top 6 pick by most NFL draft pundits while Floyd is projected to go as low as 19?

I can't come up with an answer. What do you think?

Video HT: Dave

Brian Kelly Addresses Aaron Lynch's Absence Due To Fight, Louis Nix "Demotion" and Jamoris Slaughter's Move To Cornerback

Relax Notre Dame Nation. Aaron Lynch is not transferring. He got in a scuffle during Friday practice with offensive lineman Tate Nichols and apparently it was one in which punches were thrown. Lynch will come back to Notre Dame on Monday.

Louis Nix is now on the second team defense with true freshman Sheldon Day replacing him on the first unit. It sounds like Kelly and his staff want more consistency out of Nix during the spring and just haven't gotten it. I still expect to see Nix starting in the middle of Lynch and Stephon Tuitt come fall.

Jamoris Slaughter has been moved from his free safety position to the other starting cornerback position opposite Bennett Jackson. This move obviously means Lo Wood is not cutting it. The secondary will be the big question mark all season for the Irish after losing starters Gary Gray, Robert Blanton, and Harrison Smith to the NFL. Personally I'm not a fan of moving Slaughter to corner. Slaughter is an All-American candidate at safety and is probably the best hitter on the defense. I would rather see him facing the offense as opposed to having his back to the quarterback. Austin Collinsworth (son of Cris) will move into Slaughters starting spot at free safety playing along side Zeke Motta.

The good news coming out of Notre Dame recruiting today is the commitment of cornerback Devin Butler out of Washington D.C. Butler is the second corner and 10th commitment in the 2013 class. Butler picked ND over Penn State, Michigan, and Nebraska.

Expect another commitment soon from Georgia defensive end Isaac Rochell. The 5th rated strongside defensive end visited Notre Dame this past weekend and came away very impressed and ready to end the recruiting process. Rochell would be a huge get out of SEC Country as he has offers from across the nation.

Jonas Gray Game Used Worn Notre Dame Home Jersey

Now is your chance to own a piece of Notre Dame history. Last season tailback Jonas Gray averaged 7 yards per carry while rushing for 12 touchdowns during his senior season. Jonas brought back memories of ole #25 Rocket last season when he ran past Pittsburgh for a 79 yard game winning touchdown. Now you can own the same jersey he wore when coming out of the tunnel to play for the Fighting Irish.

The Jonas Gray Game Worn Notre Dame Jersey comes with a certificate of authenticity from Steiner Sports along with a matching hologram. The jersey size is 42. Only 1 available!

Britney Griner and Baylor Finish Off Remarkable 40-0 Season

Adam's Apple: check
Deep voice: check
Hormone levels: check

Finishing off 40-0 with a dude playing center in women's basketball: priceless.

Martin Kaymer Holes Out His Skip Shot Across The Masters 16th Pond

The Masters has many quirky traditions like sexism and racism but the best tradition by far is the practice round in which golfers attempt to skip a ball across the pond on the 16th. Yesterday Germany's Martin Kaymer holed one out. The crowd went nuts as you can hear from the Youtube video and Kaymer was allowed to finish his practice round. After all he is the master race: Aryan.