5 MORE DAYS

5 more days till the road to Pasadena starts.  Can.  Not.  Wait.



It's going to be frantic.  It's going to be edge of your seat action.  Goose bumps ready.

The Funniest VINE Video Ever: Midget Stripper Dropped

Make sure you turn on the volume for this one.  It's in the upper left corner.  I'm crying from laughing.  Tears flowing.  The internet wins.  This is all-time classic material right here.  Right up there with the George Brett shit story.

"HE DONE DROP THE HOE!  HE DONE DROP THE HOE!" - If that isn't a shirt then I don't know what is.

They call her Butterfingers.

Via BarStoolSports

Jadeveon Clowney "The Freak" Is Coming According to ESPN

At this point I'm starting to feel bad for South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney.  Any player that ESPN props up on a pedestal, especially a college football one, eventually gets torn apart.  It's going to happen.

Is Clowney great?  Yes of course.  But he's not nearly the flawless prospect that a lot of people are making him out to be.  He's not perfect on or off the field.  And unfortunately ESPN and the media will find these things once the season starts.  And despite what the media says he is not a lock for #1 pick.  He's not a once-in-a-generation type player.  Sure he has some great hits and plays but watch the whole game while focusing on him and determine how much of a "can't miss prospect" he really is.

It's only 6 days away.  We get to see "The Freak" on ESPN vs North Carolina.  The proverbial rise and eventual fall of Clowney will be yet another ESPN production that will be can't miss television.  Awesome.

PBS Frontline Show "League Of Denial: The NFL's Concussion Crisis" Looks Promising

Watch "League of Denial: The NFL's Concussion Crisis" preview on PBS. See more from FRONTLINE.

Wait a damn second.  Are you telling me taking shots to the head can be detrimental to your health?  No way!  I don't believe it.  Next thing PBS is going to tell me is that boxers suffer a good chance of brain damage in the ring.  It's impossible.



Anyways the show debuts on PBS on October 8th.  Be sure to check it out.

Coaches Preseason All-SEC Team Announced

Interesting the coaches picked Aaron Murray over Johnny Manziel and A.J. McCarron. Seems logical. This is what I think of it...



But other than the QB pick and maybe some of those offensive line picks it looks about right.

OFFENSE
First-Team
QB – Aaron Murray, Georgia
RB – Todd Gurley, Georgia
RB – T.J. Yeldon, Alabama
WR – Amari Cooper, Alabama
WR – Jordan Matthews, Vanderbilt
TE – Arthur Lynch, Georgia
OL – Jake Matthews, Texas A&M
OL – Cyrus Kouandjio, Alabama
OL – Gabe Jackson, Mississippi State
OL – Antonio Richardson, Tennessee
C – Travis Swanson, Arkansas

Second-Team
QB – Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M
RB – LaDarius Perkins, Mississippi State
RB – Tre Mason, Auburn
WR – Mike Evans, Texas A&M
WR – Donte Moncrief, Ole Miss
TE – Rory Anderson, South Carolina
OL – Anthony Steen, Alabama
OL – Ja’Wuan James, Tennessee
OL – Wesley Johnson, Vanderbilt
OL – *A.J. Cann, South Carolina
OL – *Chris Burnette, Georgia
OL – *Zach Fulton, Tennessee
OL – *Jon Halapio, Florida
C – Reese Dismukes, Auburn

Third-Team
QB – AJ McCarron, Alabama
RB – Alfred Blue, LSU
RB – Keith Marshall, Georgia
WR – *Odell Beckham Jr., LSU
WR – *Malcolm Mitchell, Georgia
WR – *Dorial Green-Beckham, Missouri
TE – *Brian Vogler, Alabama
TE – *C.J. Uzomah, Auburn
OL – La’el Collins, LSU
OL – David Hurd, Arkansas
OL – Justin Britt, Missouri
OL – Aaron Morris, Ole Miss
C – James Stone, Tennessee

DEFENSE
First-Team
DL – Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina
DL – Dominique Easley, Florida
DL – Anthony Johnson, LSU
DL – Chris Smith, Arkansas
LB – C.J. Mosley, Alabama
LB – A.J. Johnson, Tennessee
LB – Denzel Nkemdiche, Ole Miss
DB – Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Alabama
DB – Craig Loston, LSU
DB – Andre Hal, Vanderbilt
DB – Loucheiz Purifoy, Florida

Second-Team
DL – Kelcy Quarles, South Carolina
DL – Daniel McCullers, Tennessee
DL – *Ed Stinson, Alabama
DL – *Xzavier Dickson, Alabama
DL – *Jeoffrey Pagan, Alabama
LB – Lamin Barrow, LSU
LB – Jordan Jenkins, Georgia
LB – Adrian Hubbard, Alabama
DB – Damian Swann, Georgia
DB – Marcus Roberson, Florida
DB – E.J. Gaines, Missouri
DB – Deion Belue, Alabama

Third-Team
DL – *Dee Ford, Auburn
DL – *C.J. Johnson, Ole Miss
DL – *Ronald Powell, Florida
DL – *Alvin Dupree, Kentucky
DL – *Denico Autry, Mississippi State
LB – Avery Williamson, Kentucky
LB – Benardrick McKinney, Mississippi State
LB – *Ronald Powell, Florida
LB – *Trey DePriest, Alabama
DB – Deshazor Everett, Texas A&M
DB – Nickoe Whitley, Mississippi State
DB – Vinnie Sunseri, Alabama
DB – Charles Sawyer, Ole Miss

SPECIALISTS
First-Team
PK – Carey Spear, Vanderbilt
P – Kyle Christy, Florida
RS – Odell Beckham Jr., LSU
AP – Bruce Ellington, South Carolina

Second-Team
PK – Cody Parkey, Auburn
P – *Tyler Campbell, Ole Miss
P – *Cody Mandell, Alabama
P – *Steven Clark, Auburn
RS – Marcus Murphy, Missouri
AP – Odell Beckham Jr., LSU

Third-Team
PK – *Andrew Baggett, Missouri
PK – *Zach Hocker, Arkansas
P – Michael Palardy, Tennessee
RS – Bruce Ellington, South Carolina
AP – LaDarius Perkins, Mississippi State

* – Ties


List Via Saturday Down South

SportsCrack 2013 Preseason All-American Team

Don't worry looking into your Phil Steele magazine or Sporting News or Playboy or whatever magazine you get your preseason preview from. This is the ultimate list. The SportsCrack All-American list is 99.9% accurate. We know our shit. We live college football. We are out doing the tailgates in the spring when those other shit stains are focused on trivial things like family. So without further ado here is the All-American Preseason 2013 team.

QB Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M - He's got a Heisman in his backpocket. He also has some Benjamins. On the field he is the best QB in the nation and the most important player for his team. Off it he is Johnny Fucking Football. The most entertaining college football player since Reggie Bush IMO.


RB Todd Gurley, Georgia - The first half of Gurshall exploded on the scene during his freshman season in Athens. Plus he's a Baltimore Orioles fan so he has impeccable taste. And herpes. A lot of that goes around the Classic City. Or so I've heard.


RB Lache Seastrunk, Baylor - Winner of the dumbest name award this kid can flat out fly. Doesn't get a lot of pub since he plays for Baylor but that will all change this season.


WR Marqise Lee, USC - Just another great USC wide receiver who won't live up to his hype in the NFL. I mean he is really good. He won some awards last year for an awful Trojans team so I'm sure 2013 will be another Groundhog Day for him.

WR Amari Cooper, Alabama - One of the most fluid receivers I can remember, Cooper brings back memories of Jerry Rice. Only a sophomore he should be AJ McCarron's favorite target.


TE Austin Seferian-Jenkins, Washington - The most talented tight end in the nation just needs to stay healthy and keep his nose clean. He has done neither this year. Still the best tight end in the nation.

T Cyrus Kouandjio, Alabama - Alabama grows dominate offensive tackles like they grow meth.

T Taylor Lewan, Michigan - I know this may be flabbergasting to ESPN and all those SEC cuckholders but Lewan pretty much dominated Clowney in the bowl game.

C Gabe Ikard, Oklahoma - A loyal SportsCrack customer since high school Gabe will now be blocking for the Belldozer.

G David Yankey, Stanford - Yankey proves Nerds can play football and dominate at the same time.

G Cyril Richardson, Baylor - Will be opening up gapping holes for Seastrunk all year.

All Purpose De'Anthony Thomas, Oregon - The Black Mamba could win the Heisman if he gets enough touches.


Kick Returner Stefon Diggs, Maryland - Only a sophomore this kid's play is electric.




DE Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina - Listen Clowney is obviously a very good player. But he's not nearly as great of an all-around player as ESPN and the rest of college football media has made him out to be since the hit he put on Michigan. Still he's better than any other defensive end.


DT Louis Nix, Notre Dame - Irish Chocolate is an immovable object that destroys everything in sight. Go back and watch the BCS Championship and specifically watch his play. Nix more than held his own and often dominated against what is probably college footballs greatest offensive line collectively in Alabama.


DT Will Sutton, Arizona State - Dominating force inside who had double digit sacks last year.

DE Stephon Tuitt, Notre Dame - Up to 325 lbs Tuitt was dominating last year until a hernia curtailed his production. Still had double digit sacks and once again will be a force for an impressive Notre Dame defense.


OLB Anthony Barr, UCLA - Just ask Matt Barkley how good Barr is at linebacker.


ILB C.J. Mosley, Alabama - Actually kinda shocking he came back for his senior season in Tuscaloosa. Must have not wanted to take a pay cut for the NFL. Who can blame him? He's the MVP of a stifling Bama defense.

OLB Kyle Van Noy, BYU - This Stormin'Mormon is a heat-seeking missile who's about as sounds of a tackler as you will find in the college game.

CB Bradley Roby, Ohio State - This Buckeye was one of the few bright spots on a suspect D last season. He also returns punts at an All-American rate.

CB Ifo Ekpre-Olomu, Oregon - My apologies go to Lache Seastrunk. The Oregon Duck who forced 6 fumbles last season clearly has the most fucked up name.

S Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Alabama - His parents were clearly high when he was delivered. Who the fuck names their kid Ha Ha? I guess LOL seemed inappropriate.

S Ed Reynolds, Stanford - Another Stanford nerd makes the team. If you haven't noticed they have been playing pretty good football the past 4 seasons.

K Cairo Santos, Tulane - He was perfect (21 of 21) in field goals with a long of 57 yards. Plus he doesn't rape chicks like the Michigan kicker. Two pluses in my book and in life.

P Kyle Christy, Florida - A punter with the last name of Christy huh? I guess Fairy would have looked too gay for the Gaytors.

Revenge of the Nerds: Nick Selby Delivers Epic Speech at Georgia Tech

I'm ready to run through a fucking wall right now. Georgia Tech student Nick Selby has my marbles all tingling with straight fire after this epic freshmen welcome speech.

THIS IS GEORGIA TECH!!!

PS - They will still get worked by Georgia. But at least their players can spell their own names.

FOXSports1 Reporting Notre Dame is in Trouble

It's official. Notre Dame is fucked. Might as well cancel the season according to this report from FoxSports1 College Football Kickoff Show. They lost head coach Brian Kelly along with WR Michael Floyd and safety Harrison Smith this offseason. But all is not lost since LB Manti Te'o is still playing for the Blue and Gold.

Great job by FoxSports1 breaking this story. I'll be sure to tune in for more breaking news.

Via @Doug_Whitehorn

Pam Oliver Got a Pigskin Facial From Andrew Luck

Gotta keep your head on a swivel at all times. A veteran cougar like Pam Oliver should know that.

Via BarStoolSports

Livin' The Hug Life Baseball Vintage Heather Navy Shirt

This is our new shirt called "Livin' The Hug Life." It's a vintage style shirt. Heather navy Hanes tagless 50/50 shirt. Distressed screen printed graphic. Soft feel. Very huggable t-shirt.

Order today! Shirts start shipping August 23rd and are limited edition!

Tennessee and Adidas Reveal New Vols TECHFIT Uniform

This will be the first and probably only time you ever hear these words come out of my mouth when it comes to a Tennessee Volunteers football uniform: I like them. In fact I think these should become their permanent uniforms. The black/charcoal color looks really good. I know the Volunteers faithful are religious demigods about their helmet but if they could have made those matte black with the orange T popping on them then it would have been absolute perfection.

Brian Kelly Leads Running Back Cam McDaniel Into a Hilarious Fail Moment

Poor Cam McDaniel. The third string tailback had to be the first to run into the backwards gauntlet sled after head coach Brian Kelly yelled "NO, IT'S NOT BACKWARDS!"

You can see Kelly trying to withhold his laughter after he realizes he fucked up. Luckily McDaniel wasn't hurt. His ego on the other hand?

Atlanta Braves Bat Boy Handles The Real Thing

A live bat landed in the infield last night during yet another Phillies ass whooping by the hands of the Atlanta Braves at the Ted. Infielder Paul Janish scooped up Bruce Wayne fearlessly and delivered him to the bat boy. The bat boy then proceeds to take the bat into the Braves dugout and like a breaking curveball Dan Uggla totally flinches as usual.

Michigan State Pulls The Fake Mannequin On It's Players and Coaches, Hilarity Ensues

I guess the Spartans forgot that whole "coach Mark Dantonio had a heart attack" issue from a couple of seasons ago because holy shit they pulled a fast one on him. Luckily for Michigan State he took it like a good sport and didn't drop dead on the spot. That would have been awkward.

Video of Tom Brady's Knee Getting Shredded

Buh-bye sweet prince. I guess we can go ahead and scratch out the New England Patriots as Super Bowl contenders. Oh wait never mind. They got Tebow. Hallelujah. The Messiah is back!

Which New Coach in the SEC Has the More Embarrassing Song: Butch Jones or Brett Bielema?

The SEC fan bases can be a little "eccentric" at times. In other words they are so obsessed with their teams they have to find a way to express their love and devotion through musical lyrics. Unfortunately for new head coach Butch Jones some dipshit...I mean "fanatic"...created a song in honor of the first year coach. It's about as pretty as the checkered end zones in Neyland.



And not to be outdone are the Arkansas faithful with "I'm a Bielemer" tribute song.



So which one is more embarrassing?

I got to go with Arkansas. Only because two assholes decided to participate in it.

It's Been 700 Days Since Michigan Scored A Touchdown vs Notre Dame

We are still 17 long days till college football kicks off but that is nothing in compared to the last time Michigan scored a touchdown against Notre Dame. It's been 700 days. I wouldn't worry about Michigan though. They are a really close knit team.



Those two were made for each other.

Top 5 College Football Entrances

1. Virginia Tech's "Enter Sandman" into Lane Stadium is electrifying. Goose bump city. I would run through a wall coming out of the tunnel to that crowd and song.



2. University of Colorado with Ralphie the Buffalo running wild on the field. Some people like sideline reporter Jim Knox just can't handle the overall awesomeness of a wild beast running rampant in Boulder. It's about the only thing worth watching when it comes to Colorado football.



3. FSU's Spear in the middle of the field is fucking epic. Never been a Semen holes fan but I can admit their entrance is one of the best in college football.



4. Tennessee's running through the "T" formed by the Pride of the Southland Marching Band is a tradition unlike any other in the SEC.



5. Clemson coming down the hill in Death Valley after touching Howard's Rock brings chills to the purple and orange faithful.



Honorable mention: Wisconsin's Jump Around. Only because it is between the third and fourth quarters is why it doesn't get into the top 5 entrances. Still awesome to see so many drunks in Madison going crazy.

No Way Jose...Iglesias Does Nearly the Impossible

Unfortunately this play didn't make it on SportsCenter last night. If it doesn't involve Johnny Football, Tim Tebow, Aaron Hernandez, A Roid, or some faux racism angle it just doesn't make the cut on ESPN. Sad but true. Anyways it's a hell of an acrobatic play by Detroit Tiger's shortstop Jose Iglesias to get the out at first. Detroit better watch out for the stampeding train gaining traction on them in the Kansas City Royals. KC is only 6.5 games back in the AL Central and with their young talent they should be a fun team to watch down the stretch.

Notre Dame Fighting Irish 2013 SHAMROCK SERIES HydroFX Revolution Speed Mini Helmets For Sale

Here is the link to buy the new Notre Dame 2013 Shamrock Series Mini Helmets made by HYDROFX. The mini helmets are limited edition and the helmets and face mask are specially painted by HYDROFX. We are taking PRE ORDERS now and shipping starts August 20th. Be sure to get your order in ASAP because we are only getting in 50 of these in stock.

ND 2013 Shamrock Series Mini Helmet by HydroFX