LERYN FRANCO GETS ALL WET

There really is no reason to post this other than the fact I thought Sportscrack could use some T n A on this Halloween Day. Franco as some of you may remember was the javelin thrower who captured our hearts or loins as I sometimes call it at the Summer Olympics. You know since it is Halloween I figured as I got older that the holiday would get worse as I could no longer dress up and go trick or treating without being arrested. But it seems every year now girls dress more slutty because it gives them an excuse to bring out their inner whore.

So in essense...

Adult Halloween > Childhood Halloween

I can drink to that...




Video HT: FanIQ via Hot Clicks

NCAA Week 10 Football pick 'em

Last week, I didn't do too bad, but I'd like to do a little better. There aren't as many exciting games this week, but there are a few. I can't wait for the Georgia/Florida Battle down at the World's Largest COCKtail party. I went down there once in college, I think! It was a blast, and I had whiplash after looking at so many fine women pass by. You know, I was going to do 10 picks this week, but seriously, there are a lot of boring match ups this week, so I picked 6 games.

Andrew Cheese-Whistle Merriam's picks-

WVU @ UConn: Do not sleep on the Huskies. This is a different team (literally) than the one who played UNC and Rutgers. They have a redshirt freshman QB who made his first start ever against Cinci on Saturday and threw for 196 yards with no picks. They also have the leading rusher in the country (school record 1,324 yds in eight games) in Donald Brown, a DB who ran back two picks of 28 and 40 yards, another one who ran back a punt, and a kicker who booted a 47 yard field goal into 20mph wind. WVU is good, but so is UConn, and the game is in West Hartford. Edge: UConn.

FL @ UGA (neutral stadium): To me the key to this game is UGA's defense. I know we can score on these guys but the key will be not letting them answer like we let LSU do last week.

FSU @ GT: I think Georgia Tech is overrated and will not strike back after last week's loss.

Oregon @ Cal: The ducks wax these guys, but who gives a shit about this game?

Texas@ Texas Tech: This will be a shootout, but i think the horns will take them. They are on fire right now.

Arkansas State @ Alabama: The tide will roll hard.


Matt Fairchild's picks:

West Virginia at UCONN: I really hate you Cheesewhistle for putting this shitbag of a game on the pick em list. Hands for people who really care for this matchup...oh, just you and that toothless Mountaineer whore. I'm going opposite pick just because you put it on here.

Gaytors vs. Dawgs: I've never been to a COCKtail party because I don't particularly like the taste of cock but I'm sure all the jorts and floppy hair douchebag frat boys sounds like a great time. These teams are pretty much even on paper. Both offenses are on fire and both coaches really don't like each other. Urban is the devil and Richt is a saint. So instead I'm going with the hot girl ratio. UGA girls in a landslide.

FSU at Georgia Tech: FSU has got me coming around so you know what that means? They will fucking choke big time tomorrow. Expect the Ramblin Nerds to be all pumped up and ready to show the ACC they deserve their bull shit crown full of empty promises and candy dreams.

Oregon at Cal: I have seen very little of either team this year and I don't see why that should change this Saturday. I will go with Cal since the Obama loving tree huggers will be too much for the Nikes.

Texas at Texas Tech: I've picked twice against the Longhorns and I have learned my lesson thanks to two empty pockets. Never pick against a steer or a queer. Longhorns win big.

Arkansas State at Alabama: I would love to shit in my pants from excitement if somehow Bama lost this game but it ain't going to happen. Why in the hell did you pick this game too? You must be sick.

I'm going to add one of my own here since it is the game I care the most about. Notre Dame will roll over the Stache in Rock's House tomorrow afternoon. Weis is going to "open up the freaking playbook" and let all of his young weapons including Golden, Floyd, Allen, Jimmy, and Rudolph do their thing. This will be a statement game for all the haters out there.
ND 42 Pitt 21.

OBAMA LOSES ELECTION

Seriously, who wants to wait in line for 2 hours to vote? I got better things to do like watch pornhub.com and eat Cheetos while drinking Natural Light. Stop blaming me people. I'm just a sports blogger.

PHILLIES FANS STILL CELEBRATING WITH FLYING BOTTLES

Nothing says celebration till you take a bottle to the head while hanging for dear life on a traffic light pole on Broad Street.

Video HT: Deadspin

CONGRATS GO OUT TO THE 2008 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES...PHINALLY!

The Philadelphia Phillies closed out the Tampa Bay Rays tonight to win the World Series in 5 games. It's only the second World Series Championship for the Phillies in their 126 year history so tonight will be a wild and riot filled night in the streets of Philly.

To commemorate the first championship for the city of Philadelphia since 1983 we decided to make a shirt that we think Philly fans can appreciate and wear with great pride. On the front it says "Phucking Phantastic 2008 World Champs" and on the back it takes a razor to the Rayshawk with a "Phuck the Rays" statement.

Here is some fan footage of Ryan Howard carrying the 2008 World Series Pennant...


As always these shirts are at the ridiculously low price of $17 and are as guaranteed as a Brad Lidge save in the ninth to create some laughter when you are booing Santa Claus this Christmas.

Shirt available here

BROAD STREET IS GOING TO BE PHUCKING CRAZY TONIGHT...

TOP 10 CFB SPORTSCRACK POLL

Image courtesy of BurntOrangeNation

1. Texas Longhorns-The Longhorns keep looking impressive after a hard fought victory last week against Oklahoma State in Austin. Colt McCoy survived a couple of costly turnovers late in the game but still had an excellent overall game completing 38 of 45 passes. The schedule doesn't get any easier as they travel to Lubbock this week to face an undefeated and hungry Texas Tech program. If they win this week they will win the Big 12 South division.

2. Penn State Nittany Lions-It wasn't pretty but you got to hand it to Penn State for pulling off a hard fought win in Columbus against Ohio State. They get the week off to prepare for a road trip to Iowa which should be another tough test for the Nittany Lions.

3. Alabama Crimson Tide-I thought the Vols would give them more of a challenge then they did but I was wrong. They essentially have an off week this Saturday against Arkansas State before traveling to LSU. The Tide should win out the regular season with LSU and Auburn down this year and if they can get by Georgia or Florida in the SEC Championship they will be playing for their first National Championship since 1992.

4. Oklahoma State Cowboys-The Cowboys lost and probably deserve to drop some in my rankings but I can't see how or why I should drop them below Oklahoma. This Okie State team is playing great ball right now and were just a couple of breaks away from beating Texas in Austin.

5. Texas Tech Red Raiders-They destroyed Kansas in Lawrence and now get #1 Texas in Lubbock this week. If they win they could and should get some votes for the top spot. Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree have a chance to make themselves legends with a memorable performance against the Longhorns. It should be a high scoring game that any true college football fan shouldn't miss.

6. Oklahoma Sooners-The Sooners continue to compile points(they haven't scored less than 35 in any game) on offense but their defense is pathetic at times. Their defense has given up over 30 points in each of their last 3 games and despite QB Sam Bradford putting up ridiculous numbers they need to step it up if they are going to have a shot at a BCS game.

7. Georgia Bulldogs-The Bulldogs trio of Matthew Stafford, Knowshon Moreno, and AJ Green looks like the best in the country right now. The Bulldogs showed up and played their hearts out in Baton Rouge and walked away with a much deserved victory. If they can beat Florida this week in Jacksonville they have a legitimate shot of winning the SEC Title and maybe even reaching the BCS Championship.

8. Florida Gators-The Gators absolutely fucking destroyed the Kentucky Wildcats last week behind dominating performances from Tim Tebow and Jeff Demps. Demps is now averaging over 11 yards a carry and the elusive freshman looks like the type of back Urban Meyer has wanted for his offense for so long. Whoever wins the Cocktail Party this weekend keeps their SEC and BCS Title hopes alive.

9. Utah Utes-The Utes were off last week and get to travel to New Mexico before their huge Thursday night showdown against TCU next week.

10. USC Trojans-Their defense looked sick against Arizona. Too much speed for the Wildcats to handle and the Trojans survived a close game by winning 17-10. They should be able to pad their stats this weekend with the Huskies coming to town. Anything less than a 3 touchdown win would be embarrassing for the Trojans since the Huskies might be the worst team in D1 football right now.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Sometimes the breaks in life just don't go your way but don't tell that Houston wide receiver Patrick Edwards. Fast forward to the 40 second mark and be prepared for a gruesome injury that should have been avoided if the fucking band would have just moved their shit...

Having experienced the same injury my heart goes out to the guy. I can still feel the cold rush flow down my body every time the temperature goes below 60 because of the 2 titanium plates and 21 screws in my lower left leg from snapping my tibia, fibula, and ankle on the last play of...get this...a flag football game. It should have never happened much like Edward's injury last night. If only the band would have moved their equipment then Edwards would still be walking right now. And only if I didn't drink a fifth of Jack Daniels before spitting on that girl who would not give me her number as she kept running away I would still be walking normal today.

Video HT: The Big Lead

NEW SHIRT: WE LOVE OUR JOHNSON

WE LOVE OUR JOHNSON is a shirt dedicated to new Georgia Tech football coach Paul Johnson. He has brought back a winning tradition to the Yellow Jackets by installing the perfect triple option which has gotten the Yellow Jackets off to a fast start. The shirt is yellow haze with black distressed lettering to give it a vintage feel and look. Inside the football on the front are the initials "THWG" which is a salute to their superior for the past decade.

You can order it here for the low price of $17.

KEVIN CRAFT DOESN'T THINK TOO HIGHLY OF SLICK RICK'S PLAYCALLING

The name is Meoff, first name Jack.

Video HT: Adam

DANYELLE SARGENT'S INTERVIEW WITH MIKE SINGLETARY

Just to give you some background information and I actually feel really bad for Danyelle Sargent after seeing this interview. I went to high school with Danyelle so it's always good to see somebody from Milton High School in Alpharetta, GA make it out and do great things in their profession unlike myself. Obviously this interview with new 49ers head coach Mike Singletary is not one of them...

Hey, we all fuck up on our job one way or another. It's just that some of us don't do it on national television. Referring to Bill Walsh who passed away in 2007 much less wasn't even a mentor to Singletary is a huge blunder on her part and doesn't help the manifestation that a Georgia education is one of the worst in the nation.

Danyelle will eventually climb out from under that huge rock she's been under since the interview caught fire on Sunday and run for the Republican Vice President ticket under Sarah Palin in 2012. It just makes too much sense.

Sorry, I need to stop the political jokes, I know. We need to get this election over with so we can all move on. One more week till freedom.

Video HT: TheBigLead

TY WILLINGHAM FIRED

The official language is he will quit at the end of the season but we all know Ty Willingham, molder of destroying collegiate football programs, was going to be fired as soon as this week if he didn't accept a resignation. Look, the Washington Huskies wanted to avoid any sort of outlandish racism claim that some members of the media would print or say on air because Willingham didn't get his 5 years bullshit. I'm sure Ty will get a great severance package just like any other shitty CEO who comes in and destroys a company. Losingham came in to Washington and destroyed football. I'm completely serious.

Watching Notre Dame annihilate Washington Saturday night was like watching a high school team trying to play Division 1 football. The Huskies are a fucking mess and the blame is 100% on Ty's shoulders. He can't be a successful head coach because he can't admit his short comings. He doesn't know how to be a successful recruiter because he cares more about perfecting his golf swing then traveling across the nation and perfecting a recruiting pitch to athletes and their parents. He is lazy when it comes to being a head football coach but yet he will get paid millions of dollars for being totally incompetent and unqualified. Only in America can one guy with so little become so rich at doing something as poorly as Willingham.

With that being said I think he would be a perfect coach for USC if Pete Carroll decides to go to San Francisco and take the 49ers job. After all he did take Stanford to a Rose Bowl so he must be a great coach....

URBAN MEYER PUTS GAG ORDER ON GATORS

As a college football fan and as a Georgia resident I loved seeing last year's celebration penalty in the World's Largest Cocktail Party. A lot of what makes college football so much better than the NFL in my opinion is that fans get into it more and the game has a lot of emotion in it which can cause upsets and eventually riots. Georgia for too long had played with their tails tucked in between their legs against the Gators ever since Spurrier was on the sidelines but last year they wagged them and let loose and it carried over into a complete ass kicking right between the greasy fingers of Urban Cryer.

Now Meyer has put on a gag order for his Florida players to not even mention last year's celebration penalty which he still has not gotten over. Well I say Fuck him because I'm going to mention it every single day this week till Georgia beats the shit out of Florida again on Saturday. Some of you may think I hate Florida but I really don't. I think they have some really good fans and a great alumni base and in fact I'm good friends with some of them. But I really despise Urban Liar. Just seeing his face makes my skin boil. As much respect as I have for Mark Richt who I believe is a deep down great person who any program would be extremely lucky to have on the other hand I think Urban is a piece of shit.

So this week I am going to be the biggest fan of Matthew Stafford, Knowshon Moreno, Rennie Curran, and all the other Dawgs who wear the red and black this week in hope that they crush and destroy the Urban Myth and his Gaytors. I want to see Florida again take a good old fashioned ass whipping by Mark Richt and his troops on Saturday because it's what Urban deserves. Gag on that douchebag Meyer.

Beat Florida shirt available here for the great price of $17

TERRY TATE: READING IS FUNDAMENTAL SARAH PALIN

I have no fucking clue who Terry Tate and really don't have the energy to look him but there is no doubt the big boy can hit. Poor Sarah Palin never saw it coming. Ya betcha she didn't!

But I betcha she knows the Russians are coming. She can practically see them out of her front window...


Video HT: BarstoolSports

WHAT IN THE BOOBS HAPPENED TO THE PHILLIES LAST NIGHT?

HomeRunDerby.com has some great pics of a Chase Utley jersey body sprayed on some girl's funbags. I don't care who you are but as long as you have some cock and balls you now have a great appreciation for Chase Utley and his fans. Okay, enough of the cock and balls and boobies talk, what in the hell happened to the Phillies last night? They are now 1 for 28 with runners in scoring position so far in the first two games. That is Atlanta Braves postseason type hitting. If the Phightin Phils want to win the whole thing they are going to need guys like Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell, and Ryan Howard to get some clutch hits.

I didn't mention Utters, I mean Utley, because honestly right now his name gets me all hot and bothered. No glove no love..excellent...


You can now celebrate the 2008 World Series Champions Philadelphia Phillies with this Phucking Phantastic shirt from Sportscrack...

KOBE, PHELPS, A-ROD, AND TONY HAWK IN GUITAR HERO COMMERCIAL

I think A-Rod pulls off the pink shirt considering he gets fucked by Madonna and Kobe looks and acts like a diva but Michael Phelps and Tony Hawk just look out of place. Actually Phelps always looks uncomfortable outside of the swimming pool. His flippers and porpoise hole need constant water I guess.

You know I've only played Guitar Hero a couple of times at a friend's house. I thought it was kind of a gay game but maybe it was just because I was so bad at it. Now that I see A-Rod and Kobe hamming it up in their underwear and pink shirts I can unequivocally announce that Guitar Hero is a little light in the loafers. But yeah I suck balls at it.

Video HT: TheBigLead

NO NEED FOR YOUR PLEXIGLASS

Anybody who tells you the NHL is boring has either not gone to an actual game in person or ever seen a hipcheck like the one Milan Lucic of the Boston Bruins performed on Mike Van Ryn of the Toronto Maple Leafs last night in front of a packed Boston crowd. Or they could be blind rednecks who swears Barack Obama is a terrorist devil. In other words 80% of the people who were born below the Mason-Dixon line.

The coolest or most barbaric part of the glass breaking hipcheck is the two fans in the box seats who suffered cuts from the sharp shards of glass...
Two fans - a man and woman sitting near the play - were covered in glass shards. The woman appeared to suffer a deep cut to her nose, which gushed blood over her face, clothes and belongings.

The injured man appeared to have cuts to his forehead. Both were conscious and alert when they were treated by Cataldo Ambulance crews, but were then taken by Boston EMS to a local hospital.

How cool is that? One minute you are just some normal loudmouth Chowderhead and then the next minute BAM, your face looks like Freddy Krueger...


Here is another great hit from earlier in the game from the Bruins Denis Wideman...


Video HT: FanIQ and Barstoolsports

THE TY "NO WE WOULD RATHER WIN" WILLINGHAM BOWL

As a Notre Dame fan I can't wait till Saturday night to see the Fighting Irish storm the field at Husky Stadium to take on the winless Washington Huskies. As the "molder of young men" who was once ND's coach and now stares with his stupid fucking blank purple and gold expression on the UDUB sidelines I must admit I can't help but become giddy at the prospect of destroying Ty Willingham and forcing his termination. So many people in the media cried wolf when he was fired from Notre Dame including Mark May, John Saunders, and some douchebag writer at CBSSportsline who's name I have forgotten. They cried racism when anybody with a functional frontal lobe knew it had nothing to do with race and everything to do with the lack of wins both on the field and in the recruiting trail.

A blowout win for the Irish is inevitable and it will force those pundits in the media to admit they were wrong. They won't admit it on air or in print but they will do it within themselves and realize at 0-7 with a best case scenario of winning 1 game all season that Willingham has made Washington irrelevant. In other words exactly where he was taking Notre Dame with his lack of recruiting and his inability to make halftime adjustments or make coaching changes within his own staff. He appears to be doing his usual stand up job of not recruiting by landing 4 guys, none of them ranked above 3 stars, with a little more than 3 months till signing day. I'm sure his golf swing is immaculate though.

I could go on and make fun of Losingham all day but I figured why should I do it when his current players can do it for me...

FAGGIES DOING SOME ONLINE SMACK TALK

If some of you haven't noticed Texas A&M football is sitting at 2-5 in Mike Sherman's first season. It hasn't been pretty but at least the AggieReport.com, a site created by Aggies alums, can create some offbeat and often hilarious videos talking smack to their weekly opponent. This week they created the video for Iowa State and depict the team as a weed loving bunch who love to sniff glue while doing pretty much nothing in Ames, Iowa. In other words high school all over again.

Video HT: FanIQ

WORLD SERIES PREVIEW AND PREDICTION

The Tampa Bay Rays opened up the season in Las Vegas as a 200-to-1 long shot to win the World Series and here we are today and they are the 5-to-7 favorite to win the whole thing over the Philadelphia Phightin Phillies. The Rays are attempting to become the first team in Major League history to go from last place to winning the World Series (Braves almost accomplished the feat in 1991 but lost to the Twins in 7 games because Lonnie Smith is a dumb fuck who can't run the bases). The Phillies are attempting to become the first Philadelphia franchise in the 4 major market sports to win a Championship since the 1983 Sixers. It is a span of 100 combined seasons since any team among the Sixers, Phillies, Eagles, and Flyers won a championship.

Let's take a look at position by position breakdown and see who it favors if anybody...

FIRST BASE
I know I'm going to get a lot of shit from my Philly friends but I think Ryan Howard and Carlos Pena are even in this matchup. Howard carried the Phillies the last month of the season into the playoffs with a hot stick but hasn't done much in the actual playoffs. Carlos Pena might not put up the power numbers that Howard does but he plays better defense and he has come up huge for the Rays so far this postseason.

EDGE: EVEN

SECOND BASE
This one isn't even worth arguing about. Chase Utley is the premiere second baseman in the game right now and is a legitimate MVP candidate every year. Iwamura isn't too shabby himself but Utley is just head and shoulders above him in every facet of the game.

EDGE: PHILLIES

SHORTSTOP
Jimmy Rollins is the returning MVP winner in the National League and is the spark plug for the Phillies lineup at the top of the order. Despite having somewhat of a down season this past year he has come up huge in the postseason with big homeruns in both the NLDS and NLCS. Jason Bartlett was an excellent pickup by the Rays this season and has a glove that is worthy of gold. He has come through with his bat this postseason also but he isn't the threat that Rollins is whether on the bases or the ability to hit a big home run.

EDGE: PHILLIES

THIRD BASE
No contest whatsoever at third. Evan Longoria will win the Rookie of the Year and has hit 6 postseason homeruns already. He is already a great one and is yet to complete a full season of MLB ball. Pedro Feliz is average at best.

EDGE: RAYS

CATCHER
Rays catcher Dioner Navarro is an All-Star and throws out nearly 40% of baserunners. Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz is an underrated signal caller behind the plate and his bat is improving. Navarro is the better player but don't be surprised if Ruiz has a Mark Lemke-esque World Series.

EDGE: RAYS

RIGHT FIELD
Jayson Werth of the Phillies has been consistent all season having hit 24 HRs in his first full season as an everyday starter. The Rays don't have that consistency with Gabe Gross or Rocco Baldelli.

EDGE: PHILLIES

CENTER FIELD
Surprisingly this one was the toughest position for me to call even over first base. On the one hand you have up and coming superstar B.J. Upton who is one home run away from breaking Barry Bonds postseason record but on the other hand you have the Phillies Shane Victorino who has played like a MVP this postseason with his bat and his glove. I know I'm going to get some shit from Rays fans (all 8 of them) about this but I think they are pretty much even at this point in the season.

EDGE: EVEN

LEFT FIELD
I'm a big fan of Carl Crawford because he can do a little bit of everything unlike Pat Burrell. Crawford can steal bases, play excellent defense, and he can hit with the best of them. Burrell can hit towering home runs but I would pick Crawford over him in a heartbeat.

EDGE: RAYS

BENCH
The Phillies have Matt Stairs (big HR against Dodgers) and Geoff Jenkins as a legitimate left handed power hitters who can come in late in the game to pinch hit for a pitcher or play some DH along with right handed hitter Greg Dobbs who has been hot of late. The Rays have veteran Cliff Floyd who will DH and be available for late pinch hitting opportunities but I think the Phillies have more options.

EDGE: PHILLIES

BULLPEN
The Rays bullpen blew a 7 run lead against the Red Sox. The Phillies bullpen has been lights out all year with Brad Lidge who has yet to blow a save in a Phillies uniform. Rays rookie David Price looked awesome in Game 7 against the Sox so he could be closing out games for the Rays but I got to give the edge to the Phillies because of Lidge.

EDGE: PHILLIES

ROTATION
The Rays have a shitload of depth in the rotation unlike the Phillies. Cole Hamels and Scott Kazmir should cancel each other out in game 1 as both are wonderful young leftys. Matt Garza and Andy Sonnanstine are both better starters than Jamie "old man river" Moyer and Brett "smack my bitch" Myers so this isn't really close.

EDGE: RAYS

COACHES
Coaching in baseball has always been overrated especially at the major league level. Maddon and Manuel both know what they are doing and know their team better than even the most fanatical of fans on both sides. And both of them beat out managers who supposedly had more playoff experience to get here so unless one guy makes a bone head move don't believe what the announcers are telling you. Players make great coaches.

EDGE: EVEN

FANS
Phillies fans are crazy and die hard and Rays fans have mohawks and love to ride the bandwagon. Fear alone you have to go with Phillies fans because they can make a trip up there intimidating for any visitor.

EDGE: PHILLIES

So by my inexact calculations I have the Phillies with the edge in 6 positions against the Rays 4. They are even at 3 positions so this should be a very close series. I think the biggest edge has to be starting rotation though and I love the Rays starters over the Phillies. Good pitching usually beats good hitting but then again I love the Phillies bullpen more than the Rays. This is honestly just too tough to call so I'm going with my gut and saying....

TAMPA BAY RAYS IN 7 GAMES

Ten NCAA Football picks for this Weekend

Andrew Cheese Whistle Mcstink's Picks-

1. Oklahoma St. @ Texas: Texas is a well oiled machine right now and will win this game.

2. Alabama @ Tennessee: The Vols suck this year and will get killed.

3. Penn State @ Ohio State: Penn State will win this one.

4. Oklahoma @ Kansas State: I think the Spooners will destroy K-State.

5. USC @ Arizona: I’m going with the upset on this one. I still think USC is overrated.

6. UGA @ LSU: Go Dawgs!! This game is do or die for Georgia.

7. Texas Tech @ Kansas: Texas Tech is the real deal this year.

8. Kentucky @ Florida: Kentucky has been tough this year, but Florida will squeak by.

9. Auburn @ West Virginia: Both teams are pretty bad, but I have to go with the SEC.

10. Virginia @ Georgia Tech: Should be a close game, but Georgia Tech will continue to pick up steam.



Matt Fairchild's Picks-

1. Oklahoma St. @ Texas: The Longhorns are just too good for Okie State.

2. Alabama @ Tennessee: If the Vols had two Eric Berry's then I would take them but they don't so I got to go with Bama in a close game.

3. Penn State @ Ohio State: I'm 50/50 on this one. Penn State has been playing lights out and the Buckeyes look like they finally hit their stride last week against Michigan State. Buckeyes win home games especially with a healthy Beanie Wells so I'm going with them.

4. Oklahoma @ Kansas State: Oklahoma will score at will.

5. USC @ Arizona: USC is just too loaded but I think the game will be a lot closer than what people think.

6. UGA @ LSU: Mark Richt and the Dawgs have to win this game to stay in the SEC and BCS Title talk.

7. Texas Tech @ Kansas: I'm going homefield with this matchup. It should be a close one decided in the final minutes.

8. Kentucky @ Florida: The popular thought is the Gators might be caught looking ahead to next week's matchup with Georgia and slip up. Tim Tebow will have a big game and the Gators will roll by double digits.

9. Auburn @ West Virginia: Auburn has not played well at all this season but I think they turn it on in the second half with a big win in Morgantown.

10. Virginia @ Georgia Tech: I will be at this game getting my full tailgate on. The Yellow Jackets defense gets better every week and should dominate this game.

Top 10 Funniest Athlete Names

First off I’d like to say that this has probably been done several times already online, but I came across some funny names this morning while surfing the net, and I had the idea of creating a top ten list of funny sports star names. I could have made a top 50, or even a list of 100 names, but I narrowed it down to my personal favorites. Feel free to reply to this and leave some of your favorite names.

10. Dick Butkus: (Da Bears) When I was a kid I really thought his name was Dick Buttkiss. I’m sure he took shit from nearly all his opponents, but I’m also sure he probably leveled their ass two seconds later.

9. Skeets Quinlan: (RB LA Rams) According to Urbandictionary.com, the word skeet means, “ To shoot your man juice up on your bitch.” Looks like Papa Quinlan forgot to skeet all over Mama Quinlan.

8. Dick Trickle: (Stock Car Racer) Not only does this name bring about crude imagery, it is also a perfect name for a redneck’s sport, I mean, game.

7. Ben Gay: (RB NFL) This guy got screwed twice with his name. On one hand he is named after a popular sports medicine cream, and on the other hand his name is just plain gay. I am a firm believer that names have a big influence on how that person’s life ends up. This guy has been bogged down in crime, and had a very shitty 1 season career after being dubbed “The Legend.”

6. Craphonso Thorpe: (WR Colts etc…) What a crappy name!

5. Natalie Titcum: (Olympic Softballer) I had to have a woman make the list, and this name is an Australian classic.

4. Harry Colon: (DB Detroit Lions) I’ve heard of a hairy ass, but a hairy colon? Ugh!

3. Rusty Kuntz: (MLB player) A little known fact: Rusty Kuntz was on the 1984 World Series winning Detroit Tigers team. He was also the inventor of the popular sex act, “The Rusty Trombone.”

2. Johnny Dickshot: (MLB Player) Good ole Johnny Dickshot was a quick coming outfielder for several teams from 1936-1945. In the bedroom Johnny was infamous for his Dickshots! I hear he used to hang out with the Quinlan family quite a bit.

1. Ron Tugnutt (NHL Goalie) and Lucious Pusey (NCAA Football): Okay, Okay, I know this is supposed to be a top 10 list, but I couldn’t decide between these 2 classic names. You know Ron Tugnutt heard a lot of smack talk about his name on the ice, but it seems Pusey let it get to him, as he changed his name to Lucious Seymour. He should have changed his name to Seymour Pusey. At least then he could have gotten in to porn after his illustrious career at Eastern Illinois.

NEW GUNS N ROSES SONG: CHINESE DEMOCRACY

I like it! It's great to hear Axl Rose back with Guns N Roses and hearing his patented scream, or squeal if you want to call it, which has been gone for 17 fucking years. Can you believe that? It's been 17 long years since Guns N Roses put out their last album Use Your Illusions. Today they released their first single, Chinese Democracy, which is also the title of their new album which will be available for download and in Best Buy stores exclusively starting on November 25th.

So what do you guys think? I like it a lot. I use to jam GNR all the time when I was in middle school and high school and this song kind of brings back childhood memories. I haven't heard any rumors of them touring but if they do you know their concerts would sell out almost immediately. Hell, I'm almost 30 and I would wait in line to get tickets. Oh yeah, it's 2008! Wait on the computer I guess.

MY HEISMAN TROPHY TOP 5

1. COLT MCCOY, Texas-Does this really need an explanation? He is on pace to throw for 31 touchdowns while rushing for 9 more with only 5 turnovers. His accuracy is over 81% right now and he is the starting QB for the #1 team in the country. Oh yeah, Colt's girlfriend Rachel Glandorf looks pretty good next to Mike Tyson...


2. Sam Bradford, Oklahoma-Bradford has played exceptionally well all season but couldn't get his team to beat Texas. Granted he can't play defense for the Sooners so it shouldn't be held against him.

3. Knowshon Moreno, Georgia-Special K is coming off a dominating performance against Vandy by ripping through defenders for over 170 yards rushing. He will get his chance to shine the next two weeks with games against LSU and Florida especially if he can rip off a highlight run like this...


4. Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech-Crabtree is on pace to haul in over 20 TD passes for the second year in a row which would be a NCAA record. NCAA records get you noticed with Heisman voters and Crabtree has a chance to prove himself worthy with 4 straight ranked opponents, 3 of them top 10, on the schedule.

5. Tim Tebow, Florida-Tebow's stats are not as impressive as last year but he still has a 10-to-1 touchdown to interception ratio and has a chance to get the Gators back to a BCS Title game if they win out.

Just missed the cut: Darryl Clark, Penn State; Shonn Greene, Iowa; Dez Bryant, Oklahoma State; Graham Harrell, Texas Tech; Mark Sanchez, USC

KELLY RIPA LOVES PHILLIES HALL OF FAME 3B MIKE SHIT

Poor Kelly Ripa. First she has a freudian slip and calls Philadelphia Phillies Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt by the wrong name and then she has to deal with Regis yelling in her ear. Don't worry, I can comfort you Kelly. No one has to know.

Video HT: WWTDD via KissFM

SPORTSCRACK TOP 10 CFB POLL

1. Texas Longhorns-The Longhorns simply put on a clinic Saturday night in taking Mizzou to the woodshed 56-31. Colt McCoy looks like the clear front runner for the Heisman right now and without a doubt is playing the best ball of his life. The road to an undefeated season doesn't get any easier this week as an undefeated Okie State comes into Austin to face the Longhorns. The way the Longhorns are playing it would take an off day from McCoy for the Cowboys to have a chance at winning this game in Austin.

2. Penn State Nittany Lions-The Fighting JoePa's appear to be improving every week much like Texas has this season. Playing in the Weak 10 helps but you have to hand it to Penn State, they come out and destroy teams by playing great in all 3 facets of the game. If they manage to win this week in Columbus then they have a legitimate chance to go to the BCS Title game. I'm interested to see how Beanie Wells does against a Penn State defense that gave up over 200 yards rushing to Michigan this past week.

3. Alabama Crimson Tide-These Rammer Jammers are a Jekyl and Hyde team right now. First half they look great and get off to big leads but then in the second half they have a tendency to lay off the gas and struggle with their defense. Losing DT Terrence Cody to a knee injury is huge even if it is just for a few weeks. He is such a big presence and he dominates the line of scrimmage. This week the Tide travel to Knoxville for a big night game on ESPN. The Vols looked really impressive against Miss. State last week so don't be surprised if we have another close SEC game.

4. Oklahoma State Cowboys-For a guy who doesn't get much pub you have to hand it to QB Zac Robinson. A duel threat QB, Robinson has led the Cowboys to an undefeated record so far by completing over 70% of his passes while also rushing for 5 TDs. They travel to Austin this weekend with a chance to earn a ton of respect against the #1 team in the country.

5. Oklahoma Sooners-I think it's becoming obvious with these Big 12 teams that they don't know how to play much defense. Or maybe their offenses are that good. Sooners beat Kansas 45-31 in another game where their offense looked unstoppable at times with QB Sam Bradford but their defense looked paper thin. The Sooners have a shot at reaching a BCS Title game but unless the defense starts playing better then they could slip in the polls even with wins.

6. Texas Tech Red Raiders-They are still undefeated. I'm not totally convinced this team is all that great but they haven't lost yet and play in the Big 12 which says something. They have four straight ranked opponents on their schedule starting this week with a road trip to Lawrence. Win it and they could be top 5.

7. Georgia Bulldogs-I got them over USC because they have the more impressive loss. A blowout loss to Alabama right now looks a lot better than the beat down USC took from Oregon State. Pollsters tend to forget but Bama is a way better team than Oregon State. The next two games at LSU and in Jacksonville will make or break the Bulldogs season. Win them both and one could argue they are the best one loss team in the country. Lose one or both and the Bulldogs could be playing in the Chick Fil-A Bowl.

8. Florida Gators-Gators got an off week to prepare for Kentucky this week. They should win easily in what will set up for a huge game in Jacksonville against Georgia. If the Gators want to make it to a BCS game they have to win out and at least reach the SEC Championship game. This Gators team seems to clicking at the right moment and I think they could beat any top 10 team in the country.

9. Utah Utes-They are undefeated and beat a team in Oregon State which beat USC so how can anyone have them ranked below USC? Don't give me the bullshit well "USC has more talent crap" because it doesn't hold any water. Utah deserves some respect and we at Sportscrack will give it to them.

10. USC Trojans-Back-to-back shutouts is impressive. Unfortunately for the Trojans they are going to need blowout victories the rest of the season and hope others lose to reach a BCS Title game. Remember they lost to an average Oregon State team and play in a shitty conference with a schedule that is incredibly weak the rest of the way.

Feel free to leave comments or suggestions if you agree or disagree. I'm always willing to listen and change my rankings.

THIS SEC REFEREE HAD SERIOUS MONEY ON LSU

This is one of the most blatant forms of corrupting a game since Eric Gregg was calling strikes 3 feet off home plate. The clip is from the South Carolina-LSU game on Saturday night and the referee makes a great shoulder tackle on QB Stephen Garcia. He must have gotten lessons from the Columbia PD.

Video HT: Deadspin

HINES WARD BREAKS KEITH RIVERS JAW

Hines must have heard the new BCS rankings were out and his Georgia Bulldogs are somehow ranked behind River's USC Trojans and wanted to take it out on the poor rookie. Keith Rivers left the game with a broken jaw. These are the kind of blocks that make you a Hall of Famer and there is no doubt Hines Ward will have a bust in Canton. This hit should be on his highlight reel during his introduction.

Video HT: FanIQ

2 CHASE'S 1 CUP PICTURE

Via TheWizofOdds comes this great picture from College GameDay in Austin. Bravo to the Texas Longhorns fans who came up with this great sign. The Longhorns made Mizzou and the Chase's their cup by completely destroying them in the first half similar to what Alabama did against Georgia a few weeks ago. Missouri has no shot of winning the National Title now and Texas is in the driver's seat with two tough teams in Oklahoma State and Texas Tech in the next two games. After watching Colt McCoy Saturday I'm not sure anybody can beat Texas at this moment.

By the way it looks like ESPN's Lee Corso made a great pick there with Michigan State. He must read this blog.

THE RAYS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES

You got to hand it to the Tampa Bay Rays for not completely choking and letting the series against the Red Sox slip through their fingers. The Rays were the better team all season and beat the Red Sox best pitcher in Jon Lester twice with great performances from ALCS MVP Matt Garza. I thought the Red Sox were going to win this series after coming back from a 7-0 deficit in game 5 to extend it and then winning game 6 in St. Petersburg kind of gave me that whole "destiny" bull shit feeling. But you have to love this Rays team. Their payroll is below 50 million and they have a bunch of kids who are playing their hearts out and for the first time this season are learning how to win at the major league level. If anything it gives this Orioles fan hope going into next season. If the fucking Rays can make the World Series then why not the O's?

I will have my World Series preview and prediction up tomorrow. I totally whiffed on my league championship predictions going 0-2 but I'm still up 4-2 overall this postseason. Both the Phillies and the Rays are playing great fundamental baseball right now so it will be difficult to pick a winner but right now I am leaning towards the Rays. I am an American League guy after all.

UPSET PICK OF THE WEEK

I'm taking Missouri over Texas in Austin. I think Chase Daniel outperforms Colt McCoy and Mizzou picks up their biggest win in the history of their program. The spread is -6.5 as we speak in favor of Texas so go ahead and bet your remaining beer and pizza money on Mizzou and thank me later. I'm going with the Mizzou Brew.

Prediction: Missouri 42 Texas 38

JAY CUTLER NOT A FAN OF PHILIP RIVERS

God I love this kind of shit. Jay Cutler and Philip Rivers are both young QB's on division rivals that obviously don't get along with one another and I love to see the animosity Cutler has for Rivers. The NFL has become too much buddy-buddy shit from opposing players doing prayers together to going out to dinner with each other's families after the game is over and stroking each other's cocks, er I mean egos. I like to see two guys who genuinely hate each other let it be known. It will make the games more interesting and competitive in my opinion. Soon the nation will be split on whether you are a Rivers guy or a Cutler guy. I think I'm a Cutler guy. Rivers seems like a mama's boy punk who talks shit and forces trades behind close doors. Oh wait, that was Elway and Eli Manning. Never mind.

Video HT: BroncoTalk

JAKE PEAVY A BRAVE? CAN WE DRINK TO IT?

As you have probably heard the San Diego Padres are actively shopping ace Jake Peavy to a number of National League teams. Peavy, an Alabama native, appears to favor a deal to the Atlanta Braves who were his favorite childhood team. But the question remains what would it take to land Peavy, a former Cy Young winner and a top 5 pitcher in the game, and would it be conducive to what the Braves as an organization are trying to accomplish?

The Padres and Braves were both horrible teams last year heading in similar paths in my opinion. They are not getting any better and the only way they will get better is if they load up on some young talent. The Braves have some young talent in the minors that are within a couple of years of making some impact. I'm talking about guys like Jason Heyward(future corner outfielder), Jordan Schafer(future CF), Gorkys Hernandez(CFer acquired in the Renteria trade), pitchers Tommy Hanson and Julio Teheran. The Braves would have to trade at least 2 of those guys along with a current MLB player like Yunel Escobar, Kelly Johnson, or Jair Jurrjens in order to wet Padres GM Kevin Tower's palate to even consider trading the young Peavy who is locked up for 4 more years at below market value.

So would it be worth the risk for the Braves to give up all that young talent to secure an ace?

No. The Braves need pitching in the worse way. Tim Hudson, John Smoltz, Tommy Traitor, and Mike Hampton are all either gone next season or can't pitch due to injuries. Adding one guy in Peavy and subtracting a pitcher like Jurrjens doesn't make you any better it just makes you the Padres. Personally I would love to see Peavy in a Braves uniform but I don't think he will make the Braves a contender in the NL East. The Phillies and the Mets will be as good if not better next season when they add some free agents this offseason and the Marlins have a better nucleus of young talent ready to make some noise much like the Tampa Bay Rays are doing this year. The Braves have a shitload of holes already including starting pitching, corner infielders(Chipper isn't getting any healthier or younger), and outfielders and when you factor in trading your future away for one player it just doesn't make much sense. Now if the Braves want to open up their checkbook and start signing some significant free agents along with trading for Peavy then I can understand it but it seems like the Braves have no set direction ever since Frank Wren took over as GM.

I'm wondering what the other Sportscrack heads out there think it would take to land Peavy and would it be worth the risk? I know we have Cardinals and Dodgers fans on here among many other teams and want to hear what kind of players you think you would have to give up in order to land a Peavy. This isn't just a rumor of Peavy possibly getting traded it pretty much is in the works as we speak and a deal could be done within the next few days so I want to hear some opinions out there. If you are a Cards fan do you think trading Rasmus and some other pieces is worth it? Should the Dodgers trade Kemp and Kershaw for Peavy?

Post your comments below and let's talk about it.

MARK WAHLBERG AND HIS FUNKY BUNCH CAN'T TAKE A JOKE

At first I thought Markie Mark was kidding around and merely acting like he wanted to kick Andy Samberg's ass(or his big nose) for publicity but then I realized...Wahlberg can't act. Plus when ever a guy gets real personal like Wahlberg does about Samberg's big Schnauzer you realize that there is some real deep down hatred for the guy. Look Markie Mark, you need to loosen up the Calvin Klein's and get off the whole acting like you're a tough guy because you are not. Your fucking shorter than I am Keebler so go make me some fucking cookies tough guy. C'mon C'mon, cook it, cook it, cook the soft batch! Now I realize that the little pain in the ass character named E on Entourage is based on the former Funky Bunch member.

Great impersonation by Samberg by the way. If you close your eyes and just listen to him it sounds just like Wahlberg.

Video HT: WWTDD

UPDATE: Apparently Wahlberg is a great actor and he can take a joke. Here is a SNL skit from this weekend where he makes a cameo that Cheesewhistle commented on...

GOOD SPORTS VIEWING TONIGHT

It's not too often we get a jam packed Thursday night full of sports viewing. Tonight we get it starting at 7:30 on ESPN with Florida State traveling to North Carolina State. As some of you may know I haven't been the biggest fan of Seminoles football and think they have been overrated for a while but this 2008 squad is different and has a legitimate shot at winning the ACC crown. The reason: running game. They finally have a fucking running game worth talking about averaging an impressive 231 rushing yards a game. Senior RB Antone Smith has been running for the first time in his career in Tallahassee behind a good line which actually is controlling the line of scrimmage. These Thursday night ESPN games have been full of upsets till last week when Wake Forest held on to beat Clemson and thus insured the exit of Baby Bowden. I think Papa Bowden will have FSU ready and the poon should be plentiful as both schools have attractive fan bases. The spread is -11.5 in favor of FSU and I think the Seminoles will win but I don't see them covering the spread.

At 8 PM we get two choices. We can either watch the Boston Red Sox and their huge payroll take on the Tampa Bay Rays and their minuscule payroll battle or we can watch a more entertaining College Football game on Versus. Yes, Versus has the undefeated and unproven BYU Cougars, the supposed BCS busters, traveling their Mormon asses to TCU to take on some rowdy Texans ready to prove that caffeine is okay to consume. This should be a great game and if BYU wants to prove to everybody that they deserve to be considered for a BCS game then they need to win. BYU QB Max Hall will get his chance to show off his Heisman credentials against a pretty good TCU defense. TCU is #1 in the nation in total defense allowing just over 207 total yards a game. BYU has been playing good defense too allowing only 17 points in their last 4 games combined. In what should be a low scoring game I think TCU pulls off the upset at home and thankfully we don't have to worry about BYU somehow sneaking into the BCS.

So essentially there will be 3 entertaining games of some significance going on at the same time tonight which will mean a lot of channel flipping in between the burping and boozing. The Red Sox have to win tonight and I think they will. I believe they have won 7 straight elimination games in the playoffs so I got my money on the Sox extending the series to a 6th game.

MCCAIN'S BRAIN ON THE FINAL DEBATE

I'm going to miss John McCain if he doesn't get elected. The guy is a comics dream much like George Bush. Barack Obama is just boring. What is SNL going to make fun of for the next 4 years? Bush was a gold mine with his made up words and now McCain has all these peculiarities which tend to be hilarious. I could seriously watch McCain's Brain reactions to statements all day. Hopefully this series of McCain's Brain doesn't die as fast as...well..you know.

Now get off of my lawn.

Image HT: MacGsWorld

OKAY I PICKED THE WRONG NL TEAM

My apologies to all the Sportscrack heads out there who went and threw away their tiny left overs of a 401k and a shitty mortgage on the fact that I picked the Dodgers in the World Series over the Phillies. If I knew Rafael Furcal was going to spend more time picking cliffhangers than getting on base for Man Ram to knock him in then I would have never gone with the fucking Dodgers. Congratulations go out to the Phillies who will be making their first World Series appearance since Mitch Williams made his enduring impression on Joe Carter's bat. I somehow managed to get all 4 of my division series picks right but if the Rays win 1 of the next 3 games against the rather pathetic looking Sox then I will be 0 for 2 in league series picks. But you know like any true degenerate we are not going to let that Nancy Kerrigan us and question why things happen. Nope, we are going to ride this dwindling gravy train and put everything on the American League in the World Series. They are the better league right?

Image HT: Blogging via Typewriter

ANOTHER HOCKEY FIGHT

If the NHL wants to get higher ratings and more interest from non-mullet heads maybe they need to stage one of these every night. Similar to what ESPN and NASCAR does with their non-athletes and tells you about these so called "behind the doors" fights that take place between two rednecks and a car to drum up ratings at least the NHL has the balls to put it right in front of your face. There is a teabag reference in there some where, I will let you make it. I'm not exactly sure who the clear winner of the fight was between the Canadiens' George Laraque and the Bruins' Shawn Thornton but it is always fun to see two big guys go at it with so much force and bravado that it almost pushes them off the ice and onto the benches.

Last week I attended the season opener for the Atlanta Thrashers and got to see the good guys beat the Caps 7-4. All of the goal scoring was exciting of course but Philips Arena gets so much more energy when two competitors decide to drop the gloves and exchange haymakers. The NHL needs to embrace the fighting part of the game and market it because people like you and me love to watch it. I kind of miss the days when NHL Tonight was on ESPN2 and you could see the latest Tony Twist fight and/or Bob Probert mauling some rookie's face.

Video HT: FanIQ

MIDSEASON ALL-AMERICAN TEAM

We have reached the midpoint of the 2008 College Football season and I figured why not take a look at some of the best players to perform on a campus near you. Here are my picks for the Sportscrack Midseason All-American College Football Team.

QUARTERBACK
Colt McCoy, Texas-For all intended purposes I had Chase Daniel as my top QB in the nation till last Saturday. McCoy passed him temporarily with a brilliant performance in the Red River Shootout to beat Oklahoma and claim the new #1 spot with Daniel struggling with those 3 huge picks in a loss to Oklahoma State. McCoy has been on top of his game all season and his numbers in both passing and rushing rank him among the best. This week's game in Austin will be a good barometer to see who might be the clear cut best QB in the nation.

RUNNINGBACKS
Javon Ringer, Michigan State-Okay, yes, I know, I can already hear some people complaining about this pick. Look, Ringer's average yards per carry isn't the best in the nation at below 5 but the guy has personally carried Sparty all season. In fact I think without Ringer the Spartans would be lucky to have 3 wins right now. Defenses are loading up in the box and yet he still leads the nation with 14 rushing TDs.

Knowshon Moreno, Georgia-He is averaging slightly more yards per carry over last season and is on pace for 20 plus total TDs while playing in the toughest conference with the toughest defenses. Special K has not disappointed one bit this season despite playing behind an offensive line that has had several key blockers go down with injuries.

WIDE RECEIVERS
Percy Harvin, Florida-Harvin's nickname should be Techmo Bowl. An amazing athlete, Harvin makes your jaw drop everytime he touches the ball. He simply glides past defenders which is no easy feat playing in the SEC.

Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech-I haven't seen much of Crabtree this season but his numbers look solid again. He might not reach last year's ridiculous numbers but he is still on pace to catch over 20 TDs.

Jeremy Maclin, Missouri-Maclin has been incredible for the Tigers whether catching, running, or returning kicks this season. He is on pace to put up better numbers receiving this season and is becoming one of the best WRs in the game.

TIGHT END
Chase Coffman, Missouri-Big Chase already has 3 games over a 100 yards receiving and 2 games in which he has double digit catches. Honestly nobody is really close to him right now in terms of TE production and he is the heavy favorite for the Mackey Award.

OFFENSIVE TACKLES
Andre Smith, Alabama-Protects Wilson's blind side and completely devours defensive linemen and linebackers while controlling the line of scrimmage for Bama.

Michael Oher, Ole Miss-Another great SEC left tackle who helped lead the Rebels to an improbable win against Florida at the Swamp.

OFFENSIVE GUARDS
Duke Robinson, Oklahoma-Consistently dominates the line of scrimmage for one of the highest scoring offenses in the nation.

Rodney Hudson, Florida State-Hudson has come out of nowhere to dominate this year for the Seminoles. Literally a big reason why FSU has a legitimate shot of winning the ACC.

CENTER
Jonathan Luigs, Arkansas-Opens up holes for the Razorbacks and has been the #1 center in the college game 3 years now.

DEFENSIVE ENDS
Brian Orakpo, Texas-The incredibly agile Houston native had a couple of sacks against Oklahoma to give him 7.5 at midseason.

Aaron Maybin, Penn State-Has 9 sacks already and is a big reason why Penn State is the favorite now to win the Big Ten conference.

DEFENSIVE TACKLES
Terrence Cody, Alabama-The guy is a tank and literally needs 2-3 blockers because of his size.

Gerald McCoy, Oklahoma-Had 2 sacks against Texas and requires multiple blockers.

LINEBACKERS
Sean Weatherspoon, Missouri-A tackling machine with 65 total tackles with 7 for loss.

Brandon Spikes, Florida-He looks like the Predator and is known to kill Tigers with 2 interceptions on Saturday.

Scott McKillop, Pittsburgh-One of the more underrated players in the nation who is having a great season with 8 tackles for loss already.

CORNERBACKS
Alphonso Smith, Wake Forest-He knows how to talk the talk and walk the walk with 7 passes broken up and 3 INTs.

Malcolm Jenkins, Ohio State-Not sure how I forgot this guy in the first place, Jenkins is playing great and already has 3 INTs.

STRONG SAFETY
Eric Berry, Tennessee-Only a sophomore, Berry leads the nation with 4 picks and has future NFL star written all over him.

FREE SAFETY
William Moore, Missouri-Has been a steady force along with Weatherspoon on the Mizzou defense.

KICKER
Matt Harmon, Navy-Got to give the Midshipmen some love. He has converted 14 of 15 field goal attempts.

PUNTER
Justin Brantly, Texas A&M-So far Brantly has been the best player on the Aggies team. He can boot the ball.

KICK RETURNER
Derrick Williams, Penn State-I dogged this kid before the season started for not living up to expectations but he has been magnificent for the JoePa's and has a great chance of earning All-American honors in his senior season.

PUNT RETURNER
Brandon James, Florida-This "little fucker" as I call him is the closest thing to Devin Hester in the college game. I would never kick it to him if given the choice.

MIDSEASON HEISMAN: Colt McCoy, Texas

MIDSEASON FRESHMEN OF THE YEAR: Michael Floyd, Notre Dame

MIDSEASON COACH OF THE YEAR: Nick Saban, Alabama

MIDSEASON GAME OF THE YEAR: USC at Oregon State

MIDSEASON SURPRISE TEAM OF THE YEAR: Penn State and Alabama

MIDSEASON DISAPPOINTING TEAM OF THE YEAR: Ohio State

Feel free to add any comments or possible omissions I might have left off this list.

HEAVYWEIGHT NHL FIGHT

Riley Cote of the Philadelphia Flyers and Eric Godard of the Pittsburgh Penguins decided to throw haymakers last night on Versus thus meaning about 124 people not in the great state of Pennsylvania saw it live. Now this is a great fight worth watching. Friends keep telling me how great MMA fighting is and every time I watch it I feel like I am watching the opening credits of gay porn. MMA just makes me feel uncomfortable. NHL fights are quite the opposite. They actually punch the shit out of each other while trying to stay balanced on a thin piece of fucking ice. Now that is a man's sport. MMA is for pussies. Now excuse me while I go get my physical therapy for this nasty back spasm caused by my erratic golf swing.

DAILY LINK DUMP

-Alcohol can apparently shrink your brain capacity. Gives me something to drink to tonight other than Oktoberfest(pictured above) CNN

-The Cowboys have been slowly eroding from the NFL map this past week by losing not only to Arizona but losing Tony Romo, PacMan Jones(make it rain), their punter, and Felix Jones to either injuries or suspensions. Today they made a big trade to appease Terrell Owens and picked up Roy Williams from the Lions for a 3 draft picks next year including their 1st. NFL

-A time has been set for the annual World's Largest Cocktail Party or as I would like to call it the World's Largest Jorts and Floppy Hair Party. AJC

-Boomer Esiason calls out Troy Aikman for sucking off his former team in the booth. See, he is actually proud to call himself a Cowboy unlike Boomer the former Bungal. AwfulAnnouncing

-Get to see the wonderful "ass"ets of track star Alenka Bikar in super slow motion. And by star I mean her wonderful rump. TheBigLead

-One of the Desperate Housewives is still flashing the skin at the beach. Good for her. WWTDD

HAYDEN PANETTIERE LOVES HER JOHN MCCAIN

This is more than likely not safe for work with the naughty language but you shouldn't be on this site anyways if you are behind a desk counting down the minutes to 5 pm...

It's always good to see old man river McCain getting the Hollywood vote of approval. Conservatives always complain about how liberal Hollywood is but I just don't see it. Now excuse me while I go plug in my Prius.

BRAYLON EDWARDS EMBARRASSED OF AFFILIATION WITH MICHIGAN

You would think the season of drops would be embarrasing enough for Pro Bowl WR Braylon Edwards but it doesn't even draw a drop in the bucket to his embarrassment of being a former Michigan football player. How else could you explain his interview last night on Monday Night Football where he was spotted wearing a Penn State shirt? I guess it is no coincidence that Braylon had his best game last night and the Cleveland Browns destroyed the defending Super Bowl Champions New York Giants 35-14. Braylon obviously wants to be identified with a winner and knows that the Penn State-Michigan game outcome this coming up Saturday was decided as soon as Michigan stole Dick Rod's heart from West Virginia last January.

Image HT: Deadspin

TOMMY BOWDEN FANS HAVING A TOUGH TIME

I guess I never realized how much love and admiration Tommy Bowden had among fans at Clemson. Yesterday I saw a picture of RB James Davis with tears coming down his face as he described Bowden as a "father to me" and
now this video of some purple and orange sandy vagina calling in to a television news station and expressing his "feelings" on live air regarding
the firing of Bowden...

Video HT: WithLeather via The Sports Point

I have a feeling these are the same people who will be crying when George Bush leaves office. I'm amazed the announcers held back the laughter. Maybe it was the muffled gun shot noise after "the whole program is in shambles(sniff, sob, sniff) I don't know what to do!"

THOUGHTS FROM THIS PAST WEEKEND

-The Red River Shootout finally lived up to it's motto on Saturday. Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy exchanged blows for four quarters and "The Real McCoy" came out on top with a performance that should keep him at the top of the Heisman talk for this week at least. It looked like Oklahoma was going to run away with the game in the first half but you have to credit the Longhorns for making some adjustments on defense and stopping Bradford and company in the second half. With the loss Oklahoma still has a chance of reaching the BCS Title game if they can win out and hope somebody knocks off Texas. Texas has a Dexter Morgan's schedule lineup ahead with Mizzou visiting this week who will be looking to take out some frustrations coming off a big loss at home. Then they get an undefeated Oklahoma State the following week and then travel to Lubbock to face a potentially undefeated Texas Tech team. If they win all those which I have serious doubts then they deserve to be the #1 rated team in the country. The Longhorns should enjoy this week at #1 in both the writer's and coaches poll and I'm sure Mack Brown has them ready for Missouri but you can't help but think that Mizzou had their letdown game last week in looking ahead to Texas while the Longhorns will have their letdown game this week in Austin after a hard fought victory in Dallas. Either way I'm looking forward to watching the Missouri-Texas game because it will be high scoring and who ever wins is the favorite to win the Big 12 in my opinion.

-Tough loss for Notre Dame in Chapel Hill. It's one of the first games since the Navy game last year that I thought Notre Dame should have won it and essentially they beat themselves. The 5 turnovers killed them especially the pick 6 Jimmy Clausen threw to start off the second half. Their offense is clicking with nearly 500 yards of total offense but you have to give North Carolina a ton of credit by forcing key turnovers. Things are bright though for Notre Dame with Clausen getting better every week and proving he is light years ahead of Brady Quinn in his development as a sophomore and playmakers like Golden Tate(should touch the ball at least 10 times a game, if not more), Michael Floyd, Armando Allen, Duval Kamara, and Kyle Rudolph all stepping up as underclassmen. If Notre Dame wants to get back to BCS football then they are going to need to ramp up their recruiting on the defensive line. Too many times this season they are undermanned and lack of talent and strength is getting exposed on the defensive line. Pat Kuntz has played his heart out and appears to have replaced Trevor Laws as the leader on the line but other than him nobody has exceeded or even met expectations. Ian Williams is a talented sophomore but he is getting pushed around and I've seen him miss a ton of tackles this season. Sophomore slump I guess you could call it or the lack of Laws to take away blockers. The Irish will need to add at least 3-5 players a year on the defensive line because half of the guys won't pan out till their junior or senior season and some just won't at all. The great programs have depth at d-line and while ND has been loading up on offense and defensive secondary in terms of talent they still have been lacking with the front 7 on defense. Losing out on guys like Gerald McCoy, Justin Trattou, and Omar Hunter has made the difference in my opinion in what could be an undefeated Irish team at this point in the season with a legitimate shot at a BCS Bowl victory. Hopefully the Irish can start landing these guys instead of losing them at the last minute.

-I was completely wrong about Florida. The Gators looked great in primetime against LSU and their offense is now clicking like I thought it would all season. How does a guy like Percy Harvin not get more talk for the Heisman? It seems like he is an automatic first down every time he touches the ball and you get a sense he will score almost every time he breaks huddle. I don't think Florida fans will ever realize how lucky they are to have Tim Tebow and Harvin much like when USC had Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush. The Gators control their destiny if they win out because if they do they deserve to play for a BCS Title with only one loss in the SEC unlike USC who plays in a shitty conference and doesn't have to play a conference championship.

Image HT: EDSBS