SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, December 02, 2010


Hey brah, how fucking "crucial" is it to have cranberry juice as a chaser for Grey Goose? Jesus H. Christ, is this dickhead on his fucking period or does he just have a giant vagina written all over his face? And what is up with the fucking projection screen? You got a golf cart but you can't dish out some "1st Round Records" money on a plasma. What an asshole! The only thing cool this kid has in his "pad" is his kegerator. If you are in college it is essential to have one. And Valtrex.

This Teague Egan lad is the same kid who got USC RB Dillon Baxter in trouble for riding him around on his golf cart while handing out roofies, I mean brochures for his business. I'm actually kind of shocked Teague didn't have time to show us his rape room. Teague is the type of character Dexter enjoys giving a midnight ride on his Slice of Life charter. It's good to see the culture has changed so much at USC since they have been put on sanctions. You already have Athletic Director and President of the Ultimate Combover Club Pat Haden bitching about how Auburn got off in the Cam Newton fiasco and how it's not fair. It's hysterical since he has Lane Kiffin roaming the sidelines like a recently released pedophile in a windowless cargo van.

God damn USC makes me sick. I'm just glad Notre Dame whooped their ass and nobody on their campus actually gives a shit about the football program anymore. Even Will Ferrell is embarrassed to call himself a Trojan now. I'm pretty sure I saw him wearing one of those Scoregon shirts the other day.

Campus cribs video via The Big Lead

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