"John" McIlroy wins U.S. Open

Chicago's Daily Herald will apparently be looking for a new editor starting today. Instead of acknowledging the incredible domination that 22 year-old "Rory" McIlroy demonstrated at Congressional with a 8 stroke victory they called him "John." Johns are dudes that buy prostitutes. Rory is getting all the free ass the world has to offer for the next...oh...rest of his life.

Here is a twitter picture of Rory slugging some Guinness from the Cup. Awesome.