Hipster NFL Logos

The awesome folks over at KissingSuzyKolber produced some top notch Hipster NFL Logos.  These are just a few of my favorites.

We all know Hipsters love their "craft beer."  Hey buddy can I get a Pompous Asshole Pale Ale?

James Franklin Bought an Ad in The Tennessean to Thank Vanderbilt

I gotta admit this was a classy move by new Penn State head coach James Franklin.  Franklin took out a near full page ad in The Tennessean to thank Vanderbilt for everything they gave him.  Now you can get a small glimpse of why people like Franklin are so successful.

I've been arguing with some friends about Franklin.  For some wacko reason they think he will be a massive failure in Happy Valley.  I can't even grasp that bullshit.  The guy won at Vanderbilt!  Before he got to Nashville the Commodores had been to one, yes, one bowl game in the last 28 years.  During his 3 years they went to 3 bowl games.  I would say that is pretty damn good.  Also they beat up on Tennessee, Georgia and Florida who are all SEC East blueblood programs.

If the Big Ten is ever going to get back to dominant conference play (have they ever?) they need to poach coaches from the SEC.  Last year they did it with Urban Meyer going to Ohio State.  This year it is Franklin.  He will kill it for State Penn.  College football needs Franklin to succeed at Penn State.  It's so much more entertaining when at least a few teams from up north are competing for National Titles.  We need to revive the Civil War of College Football.  Yee Haw!

Instagram Heat: Emma Frain

I've had an Instagram account for over 2 years now and I have honestly been on there maybe 4 times.  I never really understood the attraction of the photo sharing website.  Of course I was the same way with Twitter at first but then you realize why so many people are getting on there: porn.  No I'm kidding of course. Most people go on there for all the great information right?

Back to Instagram.  Check out Emma Frain's page.  It's full of goodies at http://instagram.com/thefrainbow

Here are some highlights:

Blaze the Husky Says No to the Kennel

Hey what can you say other than this dog gets it.  No one wants to be in a kennel.  Especially not Blaze.  You can try all you want master but you are not getting me in that fucking box a-hole.

I didn't realize people still put their dogs in cages.  Seems cruel to be honest.  How would you like to sit in a box barely bigger than your body for 8 hours a day?  Sounds awesome right?  Sign me up.

Lane Kiffin To Bama Deserves a New The Beverly Hillbillies Song

What in the fuck was Nick Saban thinking?

Lane Kiffin?

Seriously?

People don't intentionally try to get AIDS or Cancer but here we are in 2014 and Saban has just infected his program with Kiffin.  It's the most deadly disease known to football.

Those poor inbred cousins down in Tuscaloosa have no fucking clue what they are getting into with Kiffin.  And don't even start with the "well he was a great coordinator with USC" bullshit.  The Trojan's roster was full of Heisman winners and All-Americans.  Gene Chizik and Larry Coker could have one done wonders with those players too.

In all honesty I have to thank Saban for hiring Kiffin.  It's going to be pure entertainment down in Tuscaloosa.  Saban is letting his ego get the best of him thinking he can turn anything into gold and shit maybe he does shine the shit off of Kiffin's turd of a coaching career but I seriously doubt it.

Image via @Nick_Pants

CSN Introduces The New Chicago Cubs Mascot Clark Who Apparently Is Packing Heat

You might want to put some pants on that Cub.  100 plus years of losing baseball and still Clark the Cub is packing some serious heat.  Good for him.  Bad for the kids.

Deadspin did a great job with Clark.  You might as well make him anatomically correct if he's not gonna have any pants on.

Great Hockey Fight: Mike Brown vs Aaron Volpatti

Talk about some haymakers!  Holy shit these two goons exchanged some bloody blows.  It looks like Mike Brown of the San Jose Sharks got a little bit of the upper hand in this exchange with Aaron Volpatti of the Washington Capitals.  I'm going to make Gretzky bleed!!!!

Great Prank: Devil Baby Stroller in NYC

These videos always have me cracking up.  Just seeing someone scared shitless is funny.  Imagine if they filmed this animatronic devil baby prank in Texas instead of New York City.  That fake baby would have bullet holes all through it.

Tina Fey Knocks It Out of the Park With This Golden Globes Introduction of Leonardo Dicaprio

"Like a supermodel's vagina, let's please give a warm welcome to Leonardo Dicaprio" - gold Jerry, gold!

Thank you Tina Fey!  You gave the whole audience a laugh out loud moment while causing Martin Scorcese to almost shit himself on national television.  You have to love Leonardo too.  You know he is just going to lay it into Fey and Amy Poehler later after he gets done banging every single model in attendance.

Broncos Fan Wearing a Peyton Manning Jersey Gets His Ass Kicked in San Diego

Hey I get you were very excited to win a playoff game.  But if you are a Denver Broncos fan wearing a bright orange Peyton Manning jersey in San Diego it's probably not smart to go running around amongst Chargers fans shouting "Hey San Diego, Go Fuck Yourselves!"  It's funny in "Anchorman" but it sure as shit isn't funny when you are getting your 300 lb ass kicked and then arrested.

Peyton Manning's #1 Priority is Bud Light

Well you got to love the honesty.  Peyton Manning is one of the all-time greats.  He's also has a losing record in the playoffs and despite having a Super Bowl in his back pocket has a huge monkey on his back.  So yeah if Peyton wants a fucking Bud Light at the end of the huge playoff win he will get it.  Especially now that he knows he has Tom Brady and the Patriots coming to town he's has to feel parched.  You know the folks over in Golden, CO are fucking pissed right now.  Peyton just bitched slap Coors in the face with his St. Louis love.

January 9th 2013 Was Not a Good Day for Notre Dame

The BCS Era is finally dead but it seems like Notre Dame's horrible January luck will continue to reign supreme.  It's been 20 years since the Fighting Irish had a good first month of the New Year and after yesterday it could be another 20 years.

Here is a rough time line of the shit hitting the fan in South Bend.

Image via UHND

LEADING RETURNING RECEIVER DAVARIS DANIELS SUSPENDED FOR SPRING
Davaris Daniels caught 49 passes for 745 yards and seven touchdowns in 2013 but won't be catching shit this spring other than study time after being suspended for a less than stellar GPA.  Ahh the joys of playing at an actual academic institution.  Daniels was expected to be QB Everett Golson's (another player suspended last season for academics) #1 target and really only proven receiving commodity other than TE Troy Niklas (shit we will get to him later) returning.  Now it's up in the air.  Yes he can return if he gets his grades back in order but as a rising senior this shouldn't even be an issue at this point in his collegiate career.  Players like Daniels need to be leaders especially at a position at WR where they are extremely green.  No Spring Game for Daniels means players like Chris Brown and CJ Procise as well as freshman wideouts Corey Robinson, Will Fuller, and James Onwuala will have to build some trust with Golson as he returns.

DT TOP RECRUIT MATT DICKERSON DECOMMITS, GOING TO UCLA
Well at least this news broke before signing day and not 3 months after.  UCLA again poached a valuable ND recruit at a position where they struggle mightily to get quality numbers in defensive tackle.  Last year it was freshman All-American Eddie Vanderdoes and this year it's another Northern Cali prospect in Matt Dickerson.  Dickerson like Vanderdoes is citing family issues for flipping to UCLA and wanting to stay closer to home.  This is understandable but both players are still a 5-6 hour drive from UCLA to their respective homes.  In other words it's more BS.  Oh well move on right?  I mean defensive tackles are just rushing to get into Notre Dame now that Louis Nix is going first round to the NFL right?  Fuck no.

NOTRE DAME SWITCHING TO UNDER ARMOUR
This is just a personal preference and not an indictment on Notre Dame.  I just am not a fan of Under Armour.  And yes I'm from Maryland originally but I think UA gear is overpriced and overrated.  No offense but offense to my Maryland peeps.  Supposedly ND picked UA over Nike after deciding to let their Adidas contract run out.  A lot of recruits and fans were not happy with the decision.  They bitched and moan about it on Twitter and Facebook.  I was also one of those fans.  I don't want to protect this house.  I want Nike and field turf and a fucking video board in the stadium in 2014.  But none of these things look like they will happen.  Awesome.

Image via UHND

TROY NIKLAS DECLARES FOR NFL DRAFT

This was the final dick kick I needed before going to bed late last night.  Presumed to be returning tight end Troy Niklas aka Hercules aka build himself into a 1st round pick in 2014 aka what the fuckity fuck are you doing declaring for the NFL draft?  I've had some time to rethink this and if I was in Niklas size 15 shoes I would have come back for my senior season and strive to make myself the best tight end in the nation but I can also see leaving early.  Football careers are short and concussions are extremely dangerous.  Niklas has the later already.  You gotta get your money "legally" while you can and after talking with Tyler Eifert and others Niklas made his decision.  At least he told Brian Kelly about it unlike Stephon Tuitt who went straight to the media.  No way to sugar coat it but losing Niklas and Tuitt are tremendous losses.  Physically no one can replace those two on the roster.  But hey look on the bright side at least Notre Dame plays a shit schedule like Ohio State...oh wait...nevermind.

And last but not least I've heard some grumblings about Kelly and the NFL.  At this point nothing would surprise me.  With so many players jumping ship and academics taking away elite talent I'm not so sure Kelly returns in 2014.  At this point they are just rumors but until Notre Dame or Brian Kelly come out and announce his new offensive coordinator (?) and defensive coordinator (Brian VanGorder) I'm going to prepare myself for the worst.  Because make no mistake losing Kelly would be devastating.  And no Gruden is not walking through that Golden Dome door nor would I want him.

Texas A&M Makes a Fitting Tribute Video for Johnny Manziel Titled "Thank You Johnny Football"

I'm not even going to lie.  College football is a lot more boring without Johnny Fucking Football.  Whether you love him or hate him you gotta at least respect his "on the field" game.  Manziel can flat out ball.  I think I'm in the minority of people who think he will succeed at the next level.  Johnny just has it.  And by it I mean chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HPV.  In all seriousness Johnny is a leader and a college football legend.  The Aggies were just a run of the mill Big 12 team before Johnny came along. In two seasons he almost took them to the mountaintop of the SEC by himself.  If the Aggies had any defense we would be talking about Manziel as the best player since Herschel.  That's not hyperbole.  It's the truth.  Plus Manziel is as much a player off the field as he is on it.  He's the new Joe Namath without the porn stache.  I'm sure the notches on his belt in College Station were legendary and one can only imagine what kind of pull he will have in a new NFL city.  He's going to be a top 10 pick and part of me wishes my Atlanta Falcons would trade Matt Ryan for draft picks, draft Johnny, and grab some defensive studs with a late first/early 2nd round.  I want the JFF show to come to Atlanta permanently.  He's got more talent than Ryan and a hell of a lot more personality.

As a college football I want to Thank You Johnny Football.  College football needs polarizing figures like Manziel because lightning only strikes so often.  You gotta enjoy the spark while it lasts because before you know it it will be gone.

Blast From The Past: Chicks Dig The Long Ball Commercial Featuring Hall of Famers Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine

In the end Atlanta Braves teammates Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine got the last laugh.  Hall of Fame Bitch!  Where you at Big Mac?  Probably crying in your pillowcase filled with Heather Locklear's gray pubes.

By the way where the hell was Smoltzie?  He must not have been a Nike guy.  It's the only thing I can figure out.  As great as Maddux and Glavine were the one pitcher you wanted on the mound for Game 7 was Smoltz.  It's not even a question.  Smoltzie will get his Hall of Fame plaque next year along with the Big Unit and Pedro.

Video of FSU Football Team Return To Tallahassee Makes Me Hate Them Even More

Is it just me or does it look like when FSU gets off the bus they just lost the game?  Jesus Christ guys you could at least smile and thank the fans a little bit.  You just won a fucking National Championship!

Jameis didn't rape anybody on the bus did he?  Bad Jameis.  Bad Bad.  Now go to your room.

What a bunch of entitled pussies!  They could give two shits about their fans chanting like Seminole savages and cheering them on as they are welcomed home.  Nope.  They just want to get their paycheck and call it a day.

I didn't think it was at all possible but now I feel bad for FSU fans.  At least other schools players have an appreciation for them.  It's like they went to go pick up their girlfriend at the airport only to find out she brought back her "friend" who's been nailing her on the side.  These FSU players look like they just found out Santa wasn't real.

Maybe they are just still in shock they beat a SEC school.  Yeah that must be it.  Fuckers.

The Worst Bad Beats of the 2013 College Football Season

Only degenerates like myself would understand the pain of what this feels like when you have a bet that's going to pay off only for it to be jerked away from the hands of a bookie.  This 2013 College Football season was especially painful.  Those mortal locks we thought were 99.999% fool proof slipped through the cracks.  It can take the pleasure of a victory away when your team doesn't cover the shitty 7 points it needed but instead won on a last second field goal.  Sweet we won but I also lost my hookers and blow retainer.

Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and Frank Thomas Elected To Baseball Hall of Fame

Congratulations to Atlanta Braves teammates Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine along with Chicago White Sox slugger Frank "Big Hurt" Thomas for being elected first ballot to Cooperstown. All 3 of these guys deserved to be elected and were all clean of PEDs in my opinion. I of course have fond memories of Maddux and Glavine growing up in Atlanta in the 90's with those two along with the greatest Atlanta Braves pitcher in my mind John Smoltz forming a ridiculous rotation at the top for Bobby Cox's crew. The Big Hurt was one of my favorite players who didn't wear a Braves or Orioles uniform and I can still remember meeting him as a kid and getting his autograph. The Big Guy was one of the nicer guys I've met along with Ozzie, Cal and Smoltzie.


PS if anybody doesn't think Craig Biggio did steroids along with Jeff Bagwell then I'm sorry but you are either a blind Houston Astros fan or an idiot. It wouldn't have bothered me too much if Biggio got in because he has never tested positive but the eye test doesn't lie. Biggio only fell a couple of votes short of election so there's a good chance he gets in next year.


The three elected join managers Bobby Cox, Joe Torre, and Tony LaRussa as the first 6 living inductees since 1971. Odds are LaRussa will bring one of his cats to give his HOF speech.

We Brought Back A Classic Design...The Shamrock Series 5 REDEMPTION Navy Shirt!

What's new is old and what's old is new.

This classic design called the "Shamrock 5 Series" shirt brings back a ton of fond memories for us.  We came up with this design back when we started SportsCrack in 2005.  Now after a tough 2013 season we are looking for REDEMPTION in 2014.

What better way than to bring back #5 to save the day?  Bigger, tougher, stronger and ready to show the world 2012 was no fluke.

Get the one and only Shamrock 5 Redemption shirt today!

Brent Musburger Brought His A Game Last Night, Introduced Himself as Kirk Herbstreit

Do Lee Corso, Lou Holtz, Verne Lundquist, and Brent Musburger all have the same agent?  All 4 of these college football horses should have been put out to pasture years ago yet here they are...still fucking up on national television.   Granted I love them all and television is entertainment so I can see why TV execs continue to push them on the viewers.  I'm just wondering when one of them will show up in nothing but ladies underwear, jacking it on live television after an all night blow fest.  Don't laugh.  It's going to happen.  My money is on Corso.  He looks like a blow and hookers type of guy.

Red Lightning Was Certifiable Cougar Bait Last Night

“@SBNationCFB: #unconquered RT @_WSBG: Red Lightning living pic.twitter.com/eC5SJDKW2V” he's cougar bait
— SportsCrack Apparel (@sportscrack) January 7, 2014

Arguably who is more famous right now: Jameis Winston or Red Lightning?

Well it's obviously Jameis since he has a Heisman Trophy and now a National Championship after last night.  But Red Lightning is creeping up real quickly.  That curly haired freckled ginger snap is all the rage right now.  And as you can see from last night he played the victim of Cougar bait.  His shirt wide open Miami Vice style while the cougars swarm in by the smell of his red pubes.  He's simply irresistible.  Red Lightning is a Dos Equis commercial come to life.  God speed bro!  Conquer the night you soul less spawn of Devil semen you...

Does The "99" Tattoo on Paulina Gretzky Qualify as a Tramp Stamp?

Granted the Great One's daughter didn't get his famous number "99" tattooed above her ass in the time honored traditional spot for a tramp stamp but does the left hip qualify as the minor leagues of tramp stamps?  Maybe I need to ask Wayne what he thinks.  He must be honored.  Also I think Joe Cool lost a couple of his toes inside her bottom.  Chances are 99% of men have lost stuff in there.

FSU FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES 2013 Limited Edition BCS National Champs Wilson Official Leather F1005 Football

Congratulations go out to the Florida State Seminoles for ending the SEC run of dominance last night with an amazing come from behind victory in Pasadena!

We are getting 5 of these limited edition footballs in stock direct from Wilson.

2013 Limited Edition FSU Seminoles BCS National Champs Official Wilson NCAA Leather Football.

Pre-order today. 

Expected Ship date Feb 6th.

All of this product is Made in the USA from start to finish.
The Official Football of the NCAA®.
Official size and weight.
Top quality leather cover.

Tim Tebow's ESPN Debut Was Not Gay At All

Good lord Jesse Palmer why don't you just get on your knees and suck him off while you are at it.  There is a good reason why Tim Tebow is a virgin.  His "homeostasis" radar is through the roof.  You went to your hotel room and had a circle jerk for 3 hours Tebow?  That's nice but please don't share that story ever again.  I need to go take a cold shower now because Tebow was straight fire.

By the way does anybody really think Auburn has a chance tonight?  On paper it looks like a total mismatch vs FSU but then again all 4 of the BCS games have been won by the underdog.  UCF was a 17 pt dog to Baylor and crushed them.  Oklahoma was a 16.5 point dog to Bama and throttled Saban and his crew.  Sparty was a touchdown dog to the Nerds and won the Rose Bowl.  And last but not least Clemson was 3 pt dogs to Ohio State and won the Orange Bowl.  So could Auburn pull a huge upset as 10 point dogs in Pasadena?  I just don't see it.  But then again no one thought War Eagle would even be near this game after a disastrous 3-9 season.

I just want to see a good game and see who Brent Musberger undresses with his eyes and words while giving so and so's girlfriend her long awaited 15 minutes of fame.  My money is on Johnny Football's latest road beef, Lauren Hanley.

Charlie Strong Rides Into Austin Blazing Saddles Style

LSU freek nailed this one directly on the head.  Hilarious.  Texas fans were hoping for Jim Harbaugh only to be disappointed with Charlie Strong when he rides in "Blazing Saddles."

In all seriousness this is a home run hire for Texas.  Strong is a great coach as well as recruiter who has tremendous ties in the state of Florida.  He crushed it in Louisville leading them to two bowl victories with beat downs against Florida and Miami with more talent than his Cardinals team.  Now imagine what he can do with Texas and their resources.

Brand new Don't Mess With Strong vintage style t-shirts are now available for PRE ORDER here.

According to Bruce Feldman Paul Johnson Wants Out of GA Tech

Word is #GaTech coach Paul Johnson is not happy with the school. Hopes they buy him out, according to a source.
— Bruce Feldman (@BFeldmanCBS) January 3, 2014

I actually think it's the other way around at this point.  Georgia Tech is not happy with Paul Johnson.  After Johnson blew a two-touchdown lead to rival Georgia at home and then shit the bed in the bowl game vs Ole Miss I think we could all see that the Johnson triple-option era is about to come to a crashing halt.

Starting QB Vad Lee has already stated he is transferring.

Johnson doesn't recruit and doesn't sell the program.

If he was winning 9 plus games a season he could get away with his surly attitude but he does not.  Georgia Tech is still the same 7-5 team they were when Chan Gailey was roaming The Flats sideline.

It's not good enough and Johnson needs to go.  The problem is Tech doesn't want to buy out the contract.  Johnson is under contract until 2016 after signing an extension in 2009.

If you were GT AD Mike Bobinski what would you do?

LSUfreek Chimes in with this Sugar Bowl GIF

Bob Stoops knocking it out of the park.  Even Nick Saban saw it coming and couldn't do shit about it.

Bama Got Their Ass Kicked By Oklahoma...Fan Brawls in Stand

Go home Bama.  You're drunk.

2 game losing streak and this is how their loyal fan base reacts.  Round house kicks from drunk moms in the stands.  On the bright side I think Nick Saban finally found his kicker.

PAROLE TIDE!!!!!!

#1 Recruit Leonard Fournette Commits to "University of LSU"

#1 prospect Leonard Fournette is one of those rare athletes who plays football and only football.  Education be damn.  I don't know how well he will fit in at the "University of LSU" with all their scholars.  I feel bad for the kid with all the tutors writing his papers and filling out his tests while building up his draft stock in 3 seasons in Baton Rouge.  Rough life.  Hopefully he gets paid while he is there.  Luckily he choose a conference in the SEC which values education over cheating.

Wisconsin Badgers React To Randall Cobb's Game Winning Touchdown

The Wisconsin Badgers football team got together yesterday to watch the Bears-Packers game and as you can see the reactions were mixed.  And by mixed I mean the one dejected Badger in the Bears Matt Forte jersey who simply spiked his water bottle while the rest of his teammates wildly celebrated the improbable Randall Cobb touchdown catch.

A.J. McCarron's Dad is Definitely Smashing Katherine Webb

Look at that sinister grin on A.J. McCarron's dad's face.  High ball in one hand, other hand on his son's girlfriend's leg.  And Katherine Webb is pulling him in while you know he is elbow deep into her.  Yup.  Fucking Dad stole Horseface McGee right from under his tattoo riddled ass.  What...a...boss!

I think Dad even has one of A.J.'s championship rings on his leg grabbing hand.  Scandalous behavior down in Bama.

Chip Kelly Has a Simple Plan on Offense: "Fucking Score Points!"

Simple.  Concise.  Eloquent.  All of these words describe Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly's explanation to WR Riley Cooper here.

2014 NFL Mock Draft

With college football season basically done till the meaningless bowls kick in early January it's time to turn my attention on one of my favorite national past times: NFL mock draft.  With my Atlanta Falcons shitting the proverbial bed this season I have been eagerly awaiting the draft since they lost to the lowly New York Jets on Monday Night back in September.  Of course I can't factor in trades that will be made between now and then so if this mock is even 10% correct it's a huge accomplishment.   It's basically on par with SEC "student"-athlete conference test grades.

1.  Houston Texans - The Texans need a quarterback.  In a quarterback driven league they currently don't have one.  Matt Schaub is done.  And the other what's his fucking name blows.   So it comes down to who the Texans with a new coach thinks is the best pro prospect behind center.  Most people think it's Teddy Bridgewater.  I don't think he's worth the risk.  Some others think the Texans take the ultimate risk and go Johnny Manziel.  Not going to happen unless they trade down.  I think when all the dust settles with the combines and scouting reports the pick will be....Fresno State QB Derek Carr.

2. St. Louis Rams - The Rams also need a QB but aren't going to draft one.  Why?  Because they still owe #1 bust Sam Bradford $30 million over the next two seasons.  They are going to ride it out with him.  They don't need defensive ends with Robert Quinn and Chris Long having solid seasons.  More than likely they will look to trade down.  They gotta protect Bradford so my guess with the pick is Texas A&M Jake Matthews.

3. Jax Jaguars - The Jags are taking a QB.  Louisville's Teddy Bridgewater makes the most sense.  I haven't been impressed with his play this season but then again his offensive line hasn't been helping him.  This is a BOOM or BUST pick.

4. Oakland Raiders - The Raiders also need a QB but won't take one.  They always take the shiniest toy in the box.  The toy this year is Jadaveon Clowney.  He may not play wideout but once Clowney gets all that bonus money he's likely to play left out with his non motor.

5. Cleveland Browns - Could we possible have 3 QBs taken in the top 5?  Yes.  The Browns don't have a star at the position and have been desperate to get one for the past 20 years.  Johnny Manziel will sell tickets but is too big of a wildcard to put the franchise shoulders on.  Instead they will go with Central Florida's Blake Bortles.  The only two things I know about Bortles is he somehow led UCF to a BCS Bowl and more importantly his girlfriend is smoking hot.

6. Atlanta Falcons - The Falcons are doing their best to fuck up a top pick by winning meaningless games but luckily the NFL is so devoid of star QBs it won't hurt them.  With Matt Ryan they don't need one so they get their shot at the third best non QB in the draft.  And if the dominoes fall correctly they get the best one in my opinion in UCLA LB Anthony Barr.  Barr is the next Von Miller and will be a superstar in Atlanta.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - The Bucs are bound to do something stupid here.  They aren't going to take a QB because the kid they got from NC State is doing a decent job.  So scratch Johnny Football.  Instead they will go with a receiver.  Clemson's Sammy Watkins is the pick.

8.  Minnesota Vikings - The Mr. Samantha Ponder experiment is over.  Now it's the Johnny Football show!  I can't wait to see what sort of hijinks Manziel gets into in Minnesota.  By the way I love this pick.  I think Manziel can succeed in the NFL.

9. Buffalo Bills - Buffalo still has a team?  I guess you learn something new every day.  The Bills need linemen to protect E.J. Manuel.  My guess is they take Alabama's Cyrus Kouandijo.  With the pick they will introduce a fun new drinking game in Buffalo called "say Cyrus what's his name" 5 straight times without slurring.

10. Tennessee Titans - The Titans need a QB but who do you take?  They can probably get a Tajh Boyd or Aaron Murray type in the 2-4th rounds.  Nobody worth taking a risk here.  So you gotta go with the sure thing.  Notre Dame's Louis Nix is the next great NFL defensive tackle.  Titans are lucky to get their hands on some Irish Chocolate.

11. New York Giants - The Giants need defensive help bad.  So you gotta go with the best talent here because they are deficient in all three levels.  Alabama's C.J. Mosley would be my pick.

12. Pittsburgh Steelers - Feels weird to say this but the Steelers have a lot of holes.  You might as well take the best talent.  I say they go Texas A&M WR Mike Evans.  Roethlisberger could use another target to make unwanted sexual advances with...I mean throw the ball to.

13.  New York Jets - The Jets could use a hybrid DE/OLB since their interior is really good.  Buffalo's Khalil Mack makes the most sense.

14.  St. Louis Rams - Even though the Rams took Jake Matthews with the #2 pick they go offensive tackle again and take Auburn's Greg Robinson.  The hope is one of them pans out.

15.  Detroit Lions - Would the Lions go wide receiver here again?  Not likely with Watkins and Evans off the board.  If they are available then I could see them getting a WR.  Instead they go with a local college product in Michigan State CB Darqueze Denard.

16.  Dallas Cowboys - The Cowboys defense is atrocious.  It's beyond repair right now.  Getting Sean Lee back will help and getting a decent corner would also help tremendously.  They take Oregon CB Ifo Ekpre-Olomu.

17.  Baltimore Ravens - Joe Flacco could use some more targets to throw to but Ozzie Newsome is never the type of GM to pass on the biggest talent.  This year it is Notre Dame defensive end Stephon Tuitt.

18.  San Diego Chargers - Staying on the West Coast is USC's Marqise Lee.  Philip Rivers needs more weapons and Lee should be at least a good #2 receiver his rookie season.

19.  Chicago Bears - I don't see the Bears letting Jay Cutler walk away in free agency.  They have never had a good QB so I don't see why they would let even a decent to good one like Cutler leave and start all over.  The Bears need defensive help.  They can't stop the run.  They also have the worst safeties in the NFL.  Alabama's Ha Ha Clinton-Dix has star potential and is the pick here.

20.  Green Bay Packers - The Packers would be wise to trade down if possible because one of their big needs is a tight end.  At 20 it's too high to take one especially since none of them are superstars but if they do take one at this position I would go with North Carolina's Eric Ebron.

21.  Miami Dolphins -  The Dolphins took a Michigan left tackle a few years ago in Jake Long and continue the tradition with Taylor Lewan.   Hopefully this one pans out for them.

22.  Philadelphia Eagles - Philly needs help in the secondary.  Unfortunately the best players are already gone.  Maybe Philly will be looking to trade up but if not we got to go with Ohio State's cornerback Bradley Roby.

23.  Cleveland Browns - The Browns got this pick from the Colts in the Trent Richardson trade.  With their first pick I had them taking QB Bortles so he will need some protection up front.  Baylor guard Cyril Richardson would be a perfect fit.

24.  Cincinnati Bengals -  They need more help at the outside linebacker position.  Clemson's OLB Vic Beasley should fit in nicely.

25.  New Orleans Saints -  The Saints have plenty of offensive weapons but could use some help on the defensive side of the ball.  Ohio State OLB Ryan Shazier has great instincts and a knack for finding the ball.

26.  Arizona Cardinals -  The Cardinals could take a gamble on a QB late here but I doubt they would take either one of Tajh Boyd or Aaron Murray this high.  Instead they go safe here and take an offensive lineman.  It's somewhat surprising he dropped this far but FSU's OT Cameron Erving could be a steal this late.

27.  Carolina  Panthers -  Cam needs weapons.  Steve Smith is old and Ted Ginn is just a punt returner.  FSU's Kelvin Benjamin has superstar potential if he can get rid of the butterfingers.

28.  Kansas City Chiefs - Chiefs are also looking for receivers.  Penn State's Allen Robinson seems to be the best left on the board at this point.

29.  New England Patriots - With Gronk down with a busted knee and Aaron Hernandez gone for life in jail the Patriots need another tight end for Tom Brady at the end of  his career.  Texas Tech's Jace Amaro should be declaring for the draft and would be a great fit in New England.

30.  San Francisco 49ers - They stick with the M.O and go with the best corner left with Oklahoma State CB Justin Gilbert.

31.  Denver Broncos -  They need a pass rusher at either DE or OLB.  At this point the best available is Missouri's DE Kony Ealy.

32.  Seattle Seahawks - Seattle needs help on both lines but in the end it comes to protecting your most valuable asset: Russell Wilson.  Notre Dame offensive tackle Zach Martin didn't allow a sack all season.

Jennifer Lawrence Can Play on My Team Any Day, Talks About Butt Plugs on Conan

Jennifer Lawrence might be the perfect girl.  She's cool, laid back, and isn't afraid to make fun of herself.  Plus she isn't too shabby on the eyes.  Oh yeah she's filthy rich too.  The American Hustle star also loves to talk about butt plugs on national television.  I think I'm in love.  You had me at "butt plug" Jennifer.

Barry Hinson Can Coach My Team Any Day, Goes on Epic Rant

 Barry Hinson is the head coach of Southern Illinois and went on a rant last night after losing to Murray State 73-65. You can see his frustration build as he calls his players "Mamma's Boys" and then calls his guards "Absolutely Awful" while pointing out his wife could hit more than 2 baskets with her pump fake. He basically said his wife is more of a man than his pussy players. I love this guy. I would love to play for Barry Hinson. He tells it like it is. In today's sports world you can't say shit like this. Honesty is not PC. Fuck that.

True story: last baseball season my team, the Brew Crew, were in the playoffs in a doubleheader when one of our best players in the first inning "pulled something." Mind you we only had about 10 guys there and it was probably around 94 degrees. The guy could still play but couldn't tell me, the coach, what exactly was wrong. So I told him to basically man up because it's the playoffs and we needed him. The guy quit. He packed his bags and said he couldn't play hurt and just walked off. Didn't even bother to take some Ibuprofen or anything or stay and watch his team play. He just fucking walked off. Pathetic. It's not like in baseball you have to be athletic all the time. Half the time you are sitting on the bench with a fat one in your lip. I would shudder to see how Hinson would react if he had that player on his team. Nuclear fall out for sure.

Just Your Typical Santa Claus Brawl In New York City

Nothing to see here folks. Just another beautiful night in New York City. It's like you can almost smell the despair. Or is that Jack Daniels and urine?

Whatever Happened To Zane Smith?

Zane Smith...so dapper.

This Makes Perfect Sense: AJ McHandoff Honorable Mention ALL-SEC but Heisman Finalist

I am fully aware Bama QB AJ McCarron has no chance of winning the Heisman Trophy.   It's going to be Jameis Winston's in a landslide.  But what I don't understand is how McHandoff got an invite to New York City.  AJ didn't even earn 2nd team ALL-SEC honors.  That went to Georgia QB Aaron Murray.  1st team of course went to Johnny Manziel.  But yet McCarron gets an all expense trip to the Big Apple.  WTF?

Notable guys who were more deserving: Fresno State QB Derek Carr, Oregon's Marcus Mariota and Baylor's Bryce Petty.

Danica Patrick Seems Like a Wonderful Person To Be Around Who Can Take a Joke

Come on Danica Patrick.  Lighten up.  It's a fucking joke.  It's not like comedian Jay Mohr was making fun of one of your dead relatives.  He was making fun of your shitty driving.  And we all know women can't drive.  That's a fact.  Look it up.  So smile and go make me some pancakes.  Daddy is hungry.

P.S- Danica's boy toy is absolutely terrified of her.  You can see it in his eyes.  He's so afraid to crack a smile because he knows it will cost him in ways we can only imagine.

Teddy Bridgewater With The Play of the Day

This is one hell of a play by Louisville quarterback Teddy Bridgewater here last night vs Cincinnati.  Does this play help cement Bridgewater's status as the #1 pick in the draft?  The consensus among draft experts is Bridgewater will be the first quarterback taken.  The Houston Texans lost their 10th straight last night and now sit in the driver's seat for the #1 overall pick.  The Texans have long been infatuated with Aggies QB Johnny Manziel but before the season started they had no idea they were going to have the 1st pick.  Would you take Manziel #1 overall or would you bank your franchise future on Bridgewater?

Personally I would go Manziel.  I know he's a wild card off the field but eventually he has to grow up.  His upside is huge and with the exception of Jameis Winston I can't think of a better college QB to build my franchise around.  Plus his marketability would be huge in Houston where he is already a known commodity and he would definitely sell tickets and jerseys.  I'm not as impressed with Bridgewater's overall play this season.  Bridgewater, Jadeveon Clowney, and Stephon Tuitt all took step backs in their junior seasons in my opinion.  I thought all 3 of those players would dominate the college game but for the most part they have not lived up to the hype.  All 3 could and should be NFL stars if they stay healthy but their not locks like I thought they were before the season to be franchise difference players.

But the real question remains: Fantasy Football Who are you taking?  Johnny Football or Teddy Ballgame?

This Iron Bowl 2013 Fake Radio Call Nails It

This radio call is about as real as AJ McCarron's relationship with that horse face who slaps on makeup that Brent Musberger is so infatuated with.  But the good thing about games like this are no matter how dramatic and entertaining they are it isn't life and death.  It's just a game between college boys in pads and helmets.  So don't take it so serious Bama fans.  It's not like another Bama fan would kill you for laughing it off.  Shit.  Never mind.  I guess she was a "die hard" fan.

Some Cyber Monday Deals On SportsCrack.com Shirts including Famous Jameis, Tailgate Like A Champion

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USC Agrees To Contract With Steve Sarkasian

As a Notre Dame fan it was with much delight to hear USC has come to an agreement with PAC-12 retread Steve Sarkasian to be their new head coach.  Sarkasian had a 34-29 head coaching record at Washington where he took over a program that was in the shitter left by another PAC-12 retread in Tyrone Willingham.  Granted I have no idea if Sarkasian is a great hire or if he will eventually lead the Trojans back to BCS Bowl games but I'm sure as shit happy they didn't get a Chris Peterson, a James Franklin, a Kevin Sumlin, etc.  The only other hire that would have been worse is bringing back Ed Orgeron.

Congratulations USC.  You have hired more mediocrity.  Average on!

Auburn and Alabama Fan Reactions To The 2013 Iron Bowl Kick Return

I could watch these all day.  The 2013 Iron Bowl was by far the most insane finish I have ever watched live.  I'm not even a fan of either team but I was jumping up and down when Auburn's Chris Davis returned the missed field goal 108 yards for the game winning score as time expired.  Insane.  Auburn is definitely destiny's child this college football season.

Taiwanese Animators Do A Perfect 2013 Iron Bowl Preview

I'm sorry but I laughed out loud at the Auburn fans and AJ McCarron pissing on the tree.  Too fucking funny.

NEW NCAA WILSON GAME DAY OFFICIAL FOOTBALLS ARE IN STOCK!

Check out all the new official Wilson Leather NCAA Game Day football we have in stock.  These are the exact same footballs that your favorite program plays with on Saturdays in the fall.  These footballs are extremely hard to get and are limited edition and also made entirely in the USA.

Auburn Tigers Wilson F1005 Football...

Michigan Wolverines Wilson F1005 Football...

Notre Dame Fighting Irish Wilson GST 1003 Football...

Ohio State Buckeyes Wilson F1005 Football...

South Carolina Gamecocks Wilson GST 1003 Football...

Tennessee Volunteers Wilson GST 1003 Football...

Texas A&M Aggies Wilson F1005 Football...

Wisconsin Badgers Wilson F1005 Football...

Florida Gators are doing great

This picture sums up your 2013 Florida Gators football team...

On Saturday the shit hit the fan again as the once mighty Florida Gators lost at home to Georgia Southern.  A Georgia Southern team which already had 4 losses and only attempted 3 passes the whole game while completing none.  And they still lost.  How Will Muschamp still has a job right now is beyond me?  Muschamp is worse than Lane Kiffin.  Not as a human being but as a coach.  There is no good reason why Florida should be 4-7 with a blowout loss coming this weekend against rival Florida State.  Don't give me the injury excuse.  You should still be able to beat a FCS team which has 30 less scholarship players on their roster at the Swamp.  Athletic director Jeremy Foley is standing by Muschamp which is not admirable in this situation.  It's going to cost him his job too.  And while I agree college football is cyclical you don't stick with a coach who has no idea how to be a great head coach when you are at a program like Florida.

Cut the fat Florida.  Or you will continue to block your own guys while losing to programs like Georgia Southern.

College Football Gambling Locks

Bet your mortgage, kid's college tuition, wife's car, and your soul on these games today.  These are stone cold fucking locks.  Don't question it.  Just do it.

Duke -7.5 vs Wake Forest - The line opened up at -5 for Duke and has continued to move up dramatically.  Duke is for real.  Even coming off an emotional win over Miami the Dukies are looking to lock up an ACC Championship berth.  Wake Forest on the other hand is horrible.  They have been outscored 72-3 in their least 2 outings.  Duke wins big!

Prediction: Duke 40 Wake 10

Missouri -2.5 vs Ole Miss - Doesn't matter who is behind center for the Tigers, James Franklin or Maty Mauk.  They will put at least 40 points on the Ole Miss defense.  With a SEC East Championship on the line Mizzou will leave no prisoners and blow out an overrated Rebels squad.

Prediction: Mizzou 49 Ole Miss 28

Baylor -9.5 vs Okie State - Baylor is the real deal folks.  Bryce Petty and the high powered Baylor offense average over 60 points a game!  The Cowboys come in hot and at Stillwater with GameDay there should play a spirited game.  But Baylor is just too much for them to handle.

Prediction: Baylor 58 Oklahoma State 24

Wisconsin -15 vs Minnesota - The Badgers are going to run all over the Gophers.  Don't be worried about the huge spread.  Wisconsin is coming off a 51-3 pasting of Indiana last week.  The Hoosiers in my mind are on a level playing field as the Gophers so I expect another blowout.

Prediction: Wisconsin 49  Minnesota 17

Iowa -6.5 vs Michigan - Iowa had a bye week to prepare for a Wolverines team struggling big time.  With Ohio State looming next week I expect the Wolverines to sleep walk through this game.

Prediction: Iowa 28 Michigan 10

Not Looking Good For Jameis Winston and FSU

This full statement from the alleged rape victim does not look good for the accused Jameis Winston and the Tallahassee Police Department.  As for the timing of all this, well, we know one guy who doesn't mind...

Sports Illustrated Puts AJ McCarron On The Cover and Asks If He is One of the Best Ever?

Bravo to Sports Illustrated for stirring the pot with this AJ McCarron cover.  "King Crimson" as SI prefers to call McCarron which I have never heard of or thought of asks a simple question: "Is it time to think about AJ as one of the best ever?"

Simple answer: NO.  Hell no.

With the exception of the LSU game last year in which he led a spirited 4th quarter comeback and one could argue he was horrible for the first three quarters but managed to get the ball into TJ Yeldon's hands at the right time "King Crimson" has never had to put a team on his back.  Never once.

What makes McCarron so good is not his arm, his legs, or even his decision making.  It's his supporting cast.  He literally has NFL ELITE talent all around him.  I'm not talking decent NFL prospects who could maybe make it in the NFL.  He literally has 5 offensive linemen who will all play significant minutes in the NFL who protect him.  I witnessed in person McCarron destroy Notre Dame last year in the BCS Championship.  Yes he made some great passes but he hardly got touched thanks to what is probably the greatest offensive line ever in college and Eddie Lacy running over and around ND defenders.

I'm not here to shit all over McCarron.  The kid is a good quarterback.  But he is not one of the best ever.  He will probably get his third National Title ring this January which is in itself an amazing accomplishment but let's stop right away with the greatest talk.  Nick Saban can be talked about as one of the best ever.

No one even bothers bringing up McCarron's name when it comes to the Heisman Trophy.  Which the last time I checked is suppose to go to the "most outstanding player in the country."  Why is McCarron not mentioned?  Because it's not worth the argument.

Johnny Manziel and Jameis Winston are younger with less talent around them and they still blow away McCarron when it comes to elite quarterback talent.  Right now I wouldn't even put McCarron in my top 5 QB's in the nation despite him being a senior and his resume of two titles.  Oregon's Marcus Mariota and Baylor's Bryce Petty are having better seasons and getting more Heisman pub.  Louisville's Teddy Bridgewater and Fresno's Derek Carr are better talents than McCarron.  Just because McCarron plays on some great teams like a Gino Torretta, a Chris Weinke, a Ken Dorsey, or even a Matt Leinart does not make him a "best ever" worthy player.

But let's not continue to shit all over the McCarron name.  It's not worth it.  Because the only thing best in his family is his mom's rack.  And no one, I mean no one, can argue about Dee Dee Bonner's greatness.