2014 MLB Season Predictions

Ahhh Opening Day is finally here.  It's about fucking time.  No offense to basketball fan but since football ended in early February I've been counting down the days till America's past time.  Baseball makes the nuts tingle.  The crack of the bat.  The smell of tobacco spit.  The A-Rod suspension.  Nuts tingle just thinking of it.

Here are my division predictions.  If you got a problem with it you can reach me by email at matt@idontgiveafuck.com.

AL EAST

1.  Orioles - From top to bottom they have the best lineup in all of baseball once Manny Machado comes back in April.  The additions of Nelson Cruz and David Lough add power and speed.  They have the best defense and the pitching depth is finally there for them to contend for a World Series.

2.  Rays - Tampa might not have a huge payroll like the Yankees and Red Sox but they got a ton of pitching and it should help them win a Wild Card.  Joe Maddon will get this team to 92 wins.

3.  Red Sox - The defending World Series Champs are coming off an improbable magical season but have huge question marks at SS and CF.  Their starting rotation should once again be very good but I think their bullpen will falter a good bit.  One can't expect Koji Uehera to again put up a once in a century stat line.

4.  Yankees - The Yankees dished out a billion dollars or so it seems in the offseason to free agents Tanaka, Ellsbury, Beltran and McCann and on paper it looks like it should make a major improvement to the roster.  The problem is the youngest regular starter is McCann and he isn't a spring chicken.  Jeter is in his final season.  Mo is gone.  CC has cancer.  In another division I could see taking the Yankees to make the playoffs but the AL East is too tough.

5.  Blue Jays - Their rotation is borderline horrid.  Unless some young guys step up I don't see them winning 80 plus games.  Stick with the hockey.

AL CENTRAL

1.  Royals - Don't laugh.  The Royals are the real deal.  They got a bunch of young players hitting their prime years and they play great defense.  With the Tigers faltering a little bit I like Kansas City to make the playoffs for the first time since the 1980's.

2.  Indians - The Tribe are coming off one of their best seasons in nearly a decade and appear to be getting better.  If they had a couple of more arms I would take them over the Royals.  Would not surprise me at all to see the Indians win the division.

3.  Tigers - I know I'm going to get some shit with this prediction but the Tigers could be in serious trouble.  No Fister or Fielder plus they have had some devastating injuries in Spring Training.  Verlander is questionable and their bullpen looks like a train wreck waiting to happen just on paper.

4.  White Sox - Avisail Garcia and Jose Abreu have future super star potential written all over their bodies but the rest of the Sox roster looks questionable at best.  In a couple of years the SouthSide team could be a serious contender.  Not this year though.  They will be shitty.

5.  Twins - How's that Joe Mauer contract treating you?  The Twinkies are a mess.  Good luck not losing 90.

AL WEST

1.  Angels - They got the best player in the game in Mike Trout and I expect big bounce back seasons from Pujols and Hamilton.  The key is their rotation and I think it will be one of the best in the West.

2.  A's - Oakland is a lot like the Rays.  They have great clubhouse chemistry and seem to try harder than other teams by hustling and playing great defense.  I see them stealing a Wild Card from the Indians and Red Sox in the last weekend of the season.

3.  Rangers - Texas reminds me a lot of Detroit.  Too many injuries and question marks at certain positions make them vulnerable.  With that being said it wouldn't surprise me at all to see them win the division if their rotation gets healthy.

4.  Astros - There really is no good reason why I have them not picked for last in this division other than I think they play the underdog role to their advantage all season.

5.  Mariners - One month into the season they will be regretting the Robinson Cano signing.

NL EAST

1.  Nationals - I'm taking the Nats over the Braves because of their rotation.  Plus their bullpen should be strong.  Bryce Harper will put up MVP numbers.

2.  Braves - Ton of question marks with the rotation losing Medlen, Beachy, and Huddy.  Minor is injured and Ervin Santana should be ready soon but I see them struggling out of the gate.  Braves have the best bullpen in the majors and their lineup is the best in the division which will help secure a Wild Card spot

3.  Marlins - No offense other than Stanton but their pitching has the potential to be the best in the division.

4.  Mets - No Miracle in these guys as they are headed for a sixth straight losing season.  The good news is they don't finish in the cellar...

5.  Phillies -  I see the potential for a 100 loss season.  They are old.  New manager.  They are already bickering.  Let's see how many sellouts they have with shitty baseball in Philly.

NL CENTRAL

1.  Cardinals - From top to bottom in their roster they have the 2nd best team in the NL behind the Dodgers.  I think they win the Central easily by 8 plus games.

2.  Reds - Losing Choo hurts but I think Billy Hamilton will be one of the better stories to follow all season as he goes for over 100 stolen bases for the first time in decades.

3.  Pirates - McClutch is coming off a MVP season and the Pirates broke their consecutive losing season streak by making the playoffs.  Unfortunately I'm not ecstatic about their starting rotation.  Too young.

4.  Brewers - I expect Ryan Braun to be booed excessively on the road.  Other than that I have no expectations for the Brew Crew.

5.  Cubs - Sorry Lovable Losers you still have a couple of more seasons before I can even consider you guys close to being good.

NL WEST

1.  Dodgers - The team with the highest payroll is also the best team in baseball.  Anything less than a World Series Title is a disappointment.  The pressure could crush them.

2.  Giants - They will win the Wild Card because they got a tremendous amount of pitching.  Other than Posey and Sandoval their lineup looks questionable.

3.  DBacks -  Any team with Martin Prado on the roster is a team I can pull for.

4.  Padres - They got a lot of young potential stars in their lineup.  Chase Headley is in his contract year which means he will put up huge numbers because money is very important.  Makes sense right?

5.  Rockies - Don't worry Colorado fans.  Your baseball team may suck but at least your microbrews are plentiful and the Broncos seasons will be kicking off in only 5 months.

AL AWARDS
AL MVP - Mike Trout
AL CY YOUNG - Yu Darvish
AL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - Masahiro Tanaka
COMEBACK PLAYER - Josh Hamilton
MANAGER OF THE YEAR - Buck Showalter

NL AWARDS

NL MVP - Freddie Freeman

NL CY YOUNG - Jose Hernandez

NL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - Billy Hamilton

COMEBACK PLAYER - Ryan Braun

MANAGER OF THE YEAR - Don Mattingly

WORLD SERIES PREDICTION

In a rematch of the 1966 Classic the Baltimore Orioles beat the Los Angeles Dodgers  in 6 games to win their first title since 1983.

Kentucky Fan in Recliner Reacts to Game Winning Aaron Harrison Shot

Is it just me or does it feel like every Kentucky basketball fan is somehow related to one another?  I'm not saying they are inbred but yeah they are.  Kentucky basketball fan is almost as funny as their #8 seed in the tournament.

Hockey Fight Between Kevan Miller and Travis Moen With Jerry Lawler Doing the Blow-By-Blow

I know it will piss off all the basketball nut jobs who come on here but it needs to be said: hockey is a million times more entertaining than hoops.  WWE's Jerry Lawler doing the ringside treatment is fucking hilarious.  I watched this Bruins vs Canadiens game from start-to-finish which ended the Bruins' 12-game winning streak in a sudden death shootout.  It was electric in Boston.  God I miss hockey.

Glass-Pounding Hockey Fan Takes a Canadian Facial

The hockey Gods were kind in Montreal.  Women you see need to know their place and those are clearly the kitchen and the bedroom, not front row in a NHL game in Montreal.  This female Canuck took a hard heater right off the boards that would make Pamela Anderson flashback to her Tommy Lee boat cruising days.  Honk!

Johnny Manziel Can Do 360-Degree Dunks

Johnny Football is less than 6 feet tall.  Come to think of it he's actually about the same height as I am.  But that is where the similarities end.  Manziel has hops.  I can barely touch the fucking net on a good day.  Manziel can do 360-degree dunks with his size 15 clown shoes.  I can drink beer 360 days of the year in my size 10.5 shoes.  Johnny is about to be a multi millionaire in the NFL.  I'm about to take a shit in my pants because I ate too much pizza last night.  Two peas in a pod.

Beware of The Thong Hunter Patrick Willis

Watch out ladies in thongs.  San Francisco All-Pro linebacker Patrick Willis is going Down Under in Australia's Bondi Beach according to TMZ searching for some thongs to destroy.  By the picture you can tell Willis approaches the ladies with the same grit and determination he does with a running back coming over the middle.  Seek and destroy for the Thong Hunter.

Aroldis Chapman Takes a Terrifying Line Drive off His Face, Breaks Multiple Bones

Ouch.  The Cuban Missile took a brutal line drive straight to his kisser last night from the bat of Royals catcher Salvador Perez in the 6th inning.  The terrifying baseball liner caused multiple fractured bones around Aroldis Chapman's left eye and nose.  Fingers are crossed for Chapman to make a speedy recovery.  I got to be honest I don't think I could recover mentally from the trauma of taking one to the face like this.  The spring training game was immediately cancelled and now the Reds are forced to look at their closer situation while scrambling to find a solution less than two weeks till Opening Day.

Umpire Nick Rose Takes A Line Drive Right in the Dick and Balls

Spring Training is not just for the players.  It's also huge for the umpires in prepping them for a grueling season of farting, spitting, and starting fights.  Or in this case with umpire Nick Rose it's prep for taking a line drive to the "bat and balls" so to speak.  Hopefully he's wearing a cup but the way he went down like a Duke defender in the lane I'm seriously doubting it.

It's Not Officially St. Patrick's Day Without the Leprechaun in Alabama Video

The special Leprechaun flute will no doubt catch a crackhead in Mobile, AL.  If that dude was smart he would patent and trademark the special Leprechaun flute.  Then he can get his own reality show with his family all while becoming the next ghetto Duck Dynasty success story.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Apparently The Irish Rocked Los Angeles this Morning With an Earthquake

March 17th is the one day of the year everybody is Irish.  This morning in Los Angeles it managed to scare the green out of them with this instant classic live footage of KTLA news anchors freaking out.  The woman of course handled it like a pro.  The guy on the other hand no doubt pissed all over himself.  It's what you get for not wearing green!  Who the hell wears pink on St. Paddy's?  Someone get that guy a diaper and some beer.

Here is a Great New Tailgating Game Called "Stupid"

Clearly this new tailgating game needs three things: A) massive amounts of alcohol  and B) at least two drunk assholes and C) a pigskin.  The good thing is my buddy Rob is proficient in all three of these traits for the tailgating game called "Stupid."  As Rob shows in the video it takes a very brave or drunk individual to put a beer on top of their head while letting the other participant hurdle a football at their noggin for shits and giggles.  One can only hope this game catches on in the South as a form of natural selection for what Charles Darwin dreamt so merrily about.

Charles Barkley Falling Asleep on Inside The NBA Tells You All You Need To Know About The State of Basketball

Honestly who can blame Charles Barkley?  The NBA has not been interesting for this mid 30's guy since the late 90's.  And yeah I know Lebron James is the greatest thing since MJ but it still doesn't interest me.  The fundamentals are awful.  If you took the best players from the 80's and 90's in their prime they would destroy the best players right now in the league.  It's all you need to know.  And don't even start with me on college basketball.  It's unwatchable.  I'm not going to claim basketball is dead but it is the one sport that has gotten progressively worse when every other sport is overall better in terms of talent, coaching, and execution.

ESPN is going to continue to push basketball upon us but anyone with half a brain can see it's shit right now.  Put lipstick on the pig all you want but we all know it's still smelly swine underneath.

Video via the awesome blog Awful Announcing

Now Available for Pre Order: Tight eND U Shirt

Now available for pre order is our exclusive TIGHT END U shirt.  Bigger.  Faster.  Stronger.  

Get ready for football season with this classic Tight eND U shirt.

Brian Kelly Tweets A Model of the New Notre Dame Stadium

Campus Crossroads project is a game changer. I had to share this pic. Best model I've seen. #GoIrish pic.twitter.com/ejPji7W49h
— Brian Kelly (@CoachBrianKelly) March 6, 2014

The detail in this tiny Notre Dame model stadium is impeccable.  Right down to the pasty white crowd.  It looks like field turf too.

Nevada's Deonte Burton With The Dunk of the Year Against Boise State

Deonte Burton is 6'1.  The Boise State defender is 6'9.  Burton straight posterized a dude who is almost a foot taller.  BEAST!

Ken Griffey Jr Apparently is Not a Fan of ESPN or Linda Cohn or Upper Deck...

Ken Griffey Jr had one of the most natural, beautiful swings and played the game of baseball with a big kid's smile on his face throughout his Hall of Fame career.  But Griffey's ESPN interview/Upper Deck Promo with Linda Cohn was delivered to the complete opposite field of natural and smiles.  Junior flat out looked pissed off to even be on TV.  I'm not sure what exactly happened before Griffey went live on-air to make him so curt with Cohn but like myself I think he's still trying to figure out who the Yellow King is in True Detective.

It's obvious after episode 7 who the Yellow King is Griffey.  In fact he's been in Seattle the whole time.

Now stop being an asshole and put a smile on your face Griffey.  I got a shoebox full of '89 Upper Deck rookie cards that was suppose to pay for my new liver by now.

NHL Ref Gets Sucker Punched

The lesson to be learned here kids is to always keep your head on a swivel.  Also karma is a bitch because we all know, even the ref here, that stripes probably had it coming to him.

Exclusive Picture of Matthew McConaughey and Leo DiCaprio having lunch today

Gotta feel for old Leo here.  Matthew McConaughey completely cuckholded with this power move at lunch with his new friend Oscar.  McConaughey is on a roll now after his winning performance in "Dallas Buyers Club" and his brilliant performance as Rust Cohle on HBO's True Detective.  

Wooderson is L-I-V-I-N!

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT.

P.S.- It's complete BS that Dicaprio doesn't have an Oscar win already.  He should have won it for his brilliant performance as Johnny Depp's retarded brother in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?"  This is what pisses me off about the Oscars.  How does Val Kilmer not even get a nomination for his work as Doc Holliday or Jim Morrison?  Absofuckinglutely makes no sense.

Brian Kelly Post Practice Media Session Has High Praise for Everett Golson

By nearly all accounts returning redshirt junior QB Everett Golson looked sharp today in practice after taking nearly a year off due to an academic suspension.  Golson worked with noted quarterback guru coach George Whitfield during his suspension and you could tell by his practice videos that they paid off.  Golson's throwing motion is a lot more compact and now that he is using the laces (he didn't before) he's getting a tighter spiral with more accuracy hitting his receivers in stride.  Golson has also put on 15 pounds and he looks a lot more physical.

I know it's only spring practice but with Notre Dame returning a top 5 offensive line unit along with multiple playmakers at every skill position it should be expected that Golson puts up Heisman Trophy discussion numbers.  Golson has all the tools and as a redshirt freshman he took Notre Dame to the BCS Championship Game while playing admirably against a loaded Bama squad.  He should only be better this year.

Prediction: Golson throws for over 3000 yards with 25 TDs through the air.  He also runs for 300 plus yards and 6 TDs while leading the Fighting Irish to a 10-2 regular season.

Be sure to check out Irish Illustrated for more up-to-date practice videos.

Josh Reddick Has Already Made The Catch of the Year

Oakland A's outfielder Josh Reddick has already wrapped up the MLB catch of the year and it happened in his first spring training game.  In case you were wondering that is a 10 foot wall he scales to rob Michael Morse of a homer.   And to top it off he made a similar catch later in the game against Morse.  It may be early but Reddick is already in midseason SpiderMan shape.

Olympian Leryn Franco is Good at Working Out

Do you remember javelin thrower Leryn Franco?  Apparently she has competed in 3 Summer Olympics for Paraguay while not modeling on the side.  I tend to get her mixed up with tennis player Sania Mirza but nevertheless Franco is the one who is really, really good at working out.  Basically she is another one of the Lolo Jones/Danica Patrick/Anna Kournikova molds.  You know girls who don't win shit but look great in the process.

Ravens Safety Matt Elam Works At The Finish Line in the Offseason

Baltimore Raven's starting rookie safety Matt Elam made solid footing in his inaugural season in the NFL.  He also made a solid income after signing a $6 million plus contract for 4 years.  But the money and the fame hasn't stopped him from going back to school at the University of Florida to finish his degree and working at the local Finish Line for a little extra cash on the side according to the Baltimore Sun...

Elam told the Ravens' team website that he was going back to school in part because of his mother.

“One reason I’m going back is my mom. I promised her I was going to go back,” Elam said.

What's less clear is why a multimillionaire needs an entry-level retail job ... unless you remember that Elam also saved more than $200,000 by not hiring an agent last summer. A 30 percent in-store discount doesn't sound like much, either, until you consider just how many pairs of $100 shoes an NFL player can afford.

I gotta give credit to Elam.  You don't hear these kind of stories too often especially in the NFL.  For every Ray Rice knocking out his fiance they're hopefully ten Matt Elams in the locker room.

Team USA Hockey vs Canada Today at Noon....Let's Win This Shit!

No more excuses.  We owe Canada for the 2010 Winter Olympics and stealing our gold medal on their home turf.  It's our time.  They may live and die with hockey but we own them now.  Oshie, Kane, and Kessel will all light the lamp today.

USA wins 4-2.

USA!  USA!  USA!

Olympic Figure Skating Farts

It's a damn good thing the Mexicans aren't involved with figure skating.  Sochi would have exploded by now.

This Dog Can Hang With Me Any Day, Takes Dump On Soccer Field

Man's best friend just perfectly summed up my feelings toward soccer by taking a gigantic shit on it.  Ironically this was the most exciting thing to happen to soccer since Pele.

2014 NFL Mock Draft 2.0

We are still a couple of months away from the actual NFL draft but with the NFL Combine coming up I figured it would be fun to do a mock before we see all the official player measurables and times come in.

1. Houston - Johnny Manziel. The Texans have to draft a QB and what better way to bring back some fans then by drafting Johnny Football. He may not be tall but as Russell Wilson proved a couple of weeks ago his skills are enough to lead a team to the Super Bowl.

2. St. Louis - Jadeveon Clowney. Yes I know the Rams have two studs at defensive end already but Clowney is too much of a talent to pass up.

3. Jacksonville - Blake Bortles. The Jags will get either one of Johnny Football or Bortles. Bortles is the guy for now.

4. Cleveland - Teddy Bridgewater. It wouldn't shock me to see the Browns trade up to get one of either Bortles or Johnny Football but if they don't I got them going Teddy here.

5. Oakland - Jake Matthews. The Raiders could also trade up to get a potential franchise QB but instead take a potential All-Pro left tackle in Matthews.

6. Atlanta - Anthony Barr. The Falcons need elite talent who can rush the QB. Barr fits the bill perfectly.

7. Tampa Bay - Sammy Watkins. It will be too tempting for the Buccaneers to pass on a game changing wideout.

8. Minnesota - Derek Carr. He's a project but his upside is tremendous.

9. Buffalo - Khalil Mack. The Buffalo U product won't have to travel far.

10. Detroit - Mike Evans. Detroit loves receivers in the first round.

11. Tennessee - Craig Robinson. I'm not sure why teams are so fascinated with this left tackle but he's projected to go top 10 on a lot of boards.

12. New York Giants - Zach Martin. The Giants need help up front. Martin can play either tackle or guard.

13. St. Louis - Taylor Lewan. The Rams decide to protect Sam Bradford with this roid head. 

14. Chicago - Haha Clinton-Dix. The Bears need help in the secondary. Someone like Clinton-Dix who can actually tackle should help.

15. Pittsburgh - Timmy Jernigan. I think Jernigan has All-Pro potential at DT.

16. Dallas - Louis Nix. The Cowboys needs a run stuffer who can take on two linemen. Irish Chocolate can do both.

17. Baltimore - Marqise Lee. Flacco needs more weapons to throw to and Lee is good enough to start right away.

18. New York Jets - Eric Ebron. Scouts love this North Carolina tight end and I know he is good but I think this will be the first reach pick in the draft.

19. Miami - CJ Mosley. Inside linebackers tend to be hit or miss in the first round. Dolphins hope Mosley fills a need.

20. Arizona - Aaron Donald. A little undersized Donald has the motor to succeed in the NFL at defensive tackle.

21. Green Bay - Justin Gilbert. The first corner to come off the board.

22. Philadelphia - Darqueze Dennard. The Eagles need help in the secondary. This Michigan State product brings swagger to the back end.

23. Kansas City - Kony Ealy. The Chiefs could use another pass-rusher and the Mizzou product has an ability to put pressure on the QB.

24. Cincinnati - Ra'Shede Hageman. The Bengals can team up Hageman with Geno Atkins to make a lethal combo inside.

25. San Diego - Jason Verrett. Chargers defense needs corners bad and Verrett is the best leftover. 

26. Cleveland - Cyrus Kouandijo. The Browns will be looking to protect Bridgewater or whomever they trade up and get.

27. New Orleans - Stephon Tuitt. The Saints are looking for players who can make their secondary look better. Well a pass rusher can help alleviate some of the pressure on the secondary by getting to the QB.

28. Carolina - David Yankey. Cam Newton needs better protection. Yankey can play either tackle or guard.

29. New England - Jace Amaro. Patriots need help at tight end and Amaro is the best one available.

30. San Francisco - Odell Beckham. 49ers are looking for long term answers at wide out.

31. Denver - Dee Ford. We all saw how poorly the Broncos did getting to the QB in the SuperBowl. 

32. Seattle - Antonio Richardson. This Vols left tackle will help protect RussellMania.

Farewell to The Captain #2 Shirts and Hoodies Now Available!

As you know I'm not the biggest Yankees fan in the world.  In fact I've loathed them since conception. But I sure as hell respect Derek Jeter for his career both on and off the field.  The guy got more top quality ass (talking legit 10's not 7's) than any player in any sport and he's done it right by not getting tied down with one chick.  He's waiting till after his playing days are over to get hitched.  Gotta respect the game from Jeter.  You also gotta respect these awesome The Captain shirts and hoodies.  Admit you love them!

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TJ Oshie Scores on 4 of 6 Shootout Goals To Beat Russia!

In what was the best hockey game I've watched from start to finish USA's TJ Oshie became an American Fucking Legend with 4 shootout goals to beat Russia 3-2 this morning.  In a back and forth spirited game in Sochi in front of Putin the Americans showed their resiliency by never backing down and sacrificing limbs by blocking a tremendous amount of shots from Russian stars Ilya Kovalchuk and Alexander Ovechkin.



Oshie will forever live in hockey folklore with his clutch shootout goals.  International rules allow teams to send out the same shooter if they want and Oshie got the call today.  Silky smooth with calm hands Oshie showed why he was the pick to click by delivering in front of a hostile Russian crowd.  Speaking of delivering check out Oshie's wife Lauren.  Oshie is already a legend off the ice apparently.

Almost forgot what it was like going out on a Saturday night 🙆 @OSH74 pic.twitter.com/EU42dM8VZA

— lauren cosgrove (@laurencosgrove3) January 13, 2014

SportsCrack's New St. Patrick's Day Drink Like A Champion Today Shirt and Hoodie Are a Must Have

Before you know it St. Paddy's will be here and you don't want to be the only chump without the perfect Irish Green Drink Like A Champion Today Shamrock Shirt.  And just in case it's too cold for you we came out with an Irish Green Hoodie version of it.  These Drink Like A Champion St. Patrick's Day shirts also make the perfect gift for any husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, soul mate, drinking mate, etc.  No excuses just get one today!

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According to The Onion The Sochi Olympic Village is One Giant Orgy Where Athletes Live, Train, and Fuck Each Other

Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other

Admit it that you thought Russia was as cold hearted as Putin's puckered asshole.  Now we see it's just one giant fuckfest in Sochi according to The Onion.  Poor Lolo Jones must be as nervous as a virgin in a prison rodeo.

Jon Stewart Dives Into The Whole Michael Sam Coming Out of the Closet Story

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

I honestly think the best part of Missouri's defensive end Michael Sam coming out and stating he is gay before the NFL Draft is the media's desperate attempt to make it a bigger story than what it actually is.  The media is searching frantically to find any NFL player or executive or fan or sports figure who doesn't agree with Sam's lifestyle so they can show us that the American public is still intolerant of gay people.  And so far they haven't come up with shit.  You know why?  Because it's 2014 and nobody gives a shit if you are gay.  In sports the two things that matters is if you are good enough to play and are you going to help my team win.  And it's obvious Sam, the SEC defensive player of the year, is really good at football and helped Mizzou to their best season ever.  So nobody gives a shit if Sam is gay except the media or someone else trying to push a certain agenda.  God bless Michael Sam for coming out and God Bless America!

Blake Griffin With Back-to-Back Windmill Dunks

Dominique Wilkins nods in approval.

USC Celebrates After Signing Adoree' Jackson

This video just shows how the once mighty powerhouse USC Trojans have fallen to the wayside in the PAC-12.  Yes getting Adoree' Jackson is a huge pickup.  Jackson is the #1 prospect in California after all.   But the fact that the Trojans staff are celebrating like school children and giving high fives while shouting "LET'S GO!" in what should have been a formality signing is sad and kind of pathetic.  He's a 5'9 defensive back.  Chances of Adoree' personally winning you some games is slim at that position.  But kudos goes to new coach Steve Sarkisian and the Trojans staff in securing Jackson who should help immediately for the 5th or 6th best team in the PAC-12.

One of the Worst Officiating Calls Ever: Kyle Lowry Called For Offensive and Technical Fouls on Fade Away 3-Point Shot

Seriously what the fuck was the ref looking at?  Did he think Toronto Raptor's Kyle Lowry was trying to trip up the defender?  It just makes no sense why he would be called for an offensive foul and then to top it off he gets a technical for running away and not arguing it.  The NBA is fucking terrible.  It's all flopping and bull shit calls like this.

Also it's baffling how the head coach, the player, and his teammates didn't go ape shit when this call was made.  It just goes to show you they care more about the zeroes in their paycheck then the principle of winning.

Rumor Going Around Phil Knight Wants To Turn The Denver Broncos Uniform Into Oregon of the NFL

Via Reddit comes news of Nike's Phil Knight wanting to turn the Denver Broncos uniform into the  Oregon Ducks of the NFL.  I've also heard a good possibility the Broncos new helmet will be made and designed by HydroGraphics who do the Oregon and Notre Dame helmets.

Anyways to make this post actually worth your time reading it, I too saw the rumors yesterday about your team possibly being in the market for new uniforms. I called up my buddy and asked him if there was any truth to the rumors. Here's what he had to say:

Yes, you are getting new uniforms

This has been in the making since Nike took over

Until this past Sunday's events, Orange was to be the primary

Orange is no longer the primary as of Monday morning and Nike has been green lit to test a new color scheme

The Uniforms have a deadline of the 2015 Draft

This is the longest uniform project Nike has ever undertaken, and just like in 97 the Broncos will be given a template completely unique to them, not even Oregon will have this template for a couple years

A new logo is in the works

Phil Knight wants the Broncos to become the Oregon of the NFL. The team holds a special place in his heart as the first football team to let Nike have complete control over a design.

So there you have it Denver. Official news should come out around the beginning of next season. Nike is going to hype up this reveal big time.

EDIT: This is starting to get big time attention so I've deleted my source from this post to protect him. He assures me nothing I've shared violates his NDA, as I have revealed no official colors, themes, or uniform features.

Personally I love the idea.  I wish my Atlanta Falcons were doing something like this.  What do you think about new uniforms only for the Denver Broncos next season?

Marshawn Lynch's SuperBowl Parade Included a Fan's Fireball Whiskey

Now that is what we call "Beast Mode."  If Seattle Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch wants his Fireball Whiskey then you sure as hell better give it to him.  Cops estimated over 700,000 people showed up for the victory parade yesterday in Seattle and Marshawn with all of his infinite talents spotted the one dude who had Fireball in the crowd.  Moving duck boat be damned if Marshawn wants his Fireball then Marshawn is going to get it.

Via LarryBrownSports

Not Sure Why This Carl's Jr Big Sausage Breakfast SuperBowl Commercial Was Banned

Who doesn't love sausage?  I guess those prudes who run network TV is the answer.

National Signing Day Special #GoldenArmy14 Shirts Only $6

Get the one and only #GoldenArmy14 shirt for only $6.  It comes in both a cotton version and a performance gym shirt.  Also all Tailgate Like A Champion shirts are $6 too.

Jared Lorenzen aka The Pillsbury Throwboy Still Has His Scrambling Ability

Holy blast from the past.  We all remember portly Jared Lorenzen from his playing days at Kentucky where he threw for over 10,000 yards and 78 touchdowns during his illustrious college career but I had no clue this guy was even alive let alone playing "professional" football.

The highlight above is from this past weekend with the Northern Kentucky River Monsters.  Lorenzen is now 320 pounds of gridiron God of donuts but still has his patented scrambling eggs of moves with him.  The Pillsbury Throwboy as he is affectionally called can still hot dog it on the field despite his little T-Rex arms.  I'm impressed.  And hungry.

Via BarStoolSports

Naked Seahawks Fan Shows His Legion of Boom on Live Seattle TV News

Not even going to lie...if one of my teams won a championship I would have my cock and balls  flopping out everywhere.  Just straight cockslapping reporters on live air if it actually happened.  Fortunately for you none of my favorite teams are that close to a championship.

Still waiting for some female nudie Seahawks shots.  Make it happen Seattle.

Richard Sherman's 30/30 Mockumentary By Frank Caliendo Was Hysterical

Comedian Frank Caliendo nailed every single impersonation in this Richard Sherman mockumentary.  The impersonations of Jon Gruden and Jim Harbaugh are comedy gold.  I could feel tears forming.  Chris Berman waving his hands and muttering like he has a peanut butter sandwich in his mouth is spot on.  George Bush's "Dijon" Sanders is also a favorite.  Shit this whole sketch is classic.  Caliendo brought his 98 mph heat with a back breaking curveball to this one.

Speaking of heat how about you do yourself a favor and get the shirt that's turned into rock star status now that the Seahawks have captured their first Super Bowl: Russell Mania.

Wing Bowl 22 in Philly Was Full of Fights

Philadelphia had it's annual Wing Bowl yesterday and if you have ever wondered what an insane asylum would look like without security or medication then here you go.  Just a bunch of wild animals going crazy.  White trash mucking it up in the stands while contestants below eat chicken wings for a grand prize of $22,000.  The winner was a 120 pound mom of 4 who managed to eat a staggering World Record of 363 wings.  Her kids must be so proud.  Full disclosure the Wing Bowl was 4 times more entertaining than the shitty Super Bowl last night.  What a shitstorm that game was in East Rutherford.

Failed Joe Buck Super Bowl Promo is Spot On

Joe Buck's Failed Super Bowl Promo from Funny Or Die      

You gotta give credit where credit is due: at least Joe Buck can laugh at himself.  Nothing is worse than some pompous a-hole who can't take a joke.

Katie Nolan Slams Rick Reilly for being Rick Reilly

Bravo to Fox Sports 1 Katie Nolan for sticking up for colleague Regis Philbin.  ESPN's Rick Reilly despite enormous odds has somehow managed to make himself look like an even bigger douche bag by slamming TV icon Philbin for his work on Fox Sports 1.  Why would he do such a thing?  I have no fucking clue but what I do know is Nolan is moving up quickly on the "SportsCaster" ladder.  Combining good looks with smarts and a voice that is neither annoying or whiny while clearly presentable is going to do wonders for Nolan.  In other words we are huge fans of her.

TV Azteca Host Mariana Gonzalez Crushed Super Bowl Media Day With See-Through Dress

Amo mi trabajo! #MediaDay #SuperBowlXLVIII pic.twitter.com/hiWtw8YoBV
— Mariana Gonzalez (@marianagzze) January 28, 2014

Sorry Erin Andrews.  Mariana Gonzalez just threw down the gauntlet with this white see-through dress.  Game.  Set.  Match.

By the way if you look closely you can see Jay Glazer jacking it to Mariana in the background.  True story.  Oh wait that's just me.  Carry on.

This Brings Back Some Memories: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover GIF

Before the internet was around there were two things for adolescent boys to look forward to getting in the mail: Victoria Secret's catalog and the SI Swimsuit Edition.  They both had the hottest super models in there.  From SpankBank material with Elle MacPherson, Stephanie Seymour, and Kathy Ireland among others just showing off enough skin to let a young boy's mind race to what could be.  These days kids have it so easy.  Anyways this Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover GIF is basically a jerkoff time machine.  So many memories.

Via BarStoolSports

The NFL Bad Lip Reading is Back and it's Hilarious

I know I sound like a school girl but these NFL Bad Lip Reading videos make me giggle.  They probably didn't have enough time but it would have great if they had Richard Sherman's meltdown on there.  Nevertheless it's a great job.

Richard Sherman Mic'd Up Did Say "Hell of a Game" To Michael Crabtree

Cool now maybe the media can stop with the incessant Richard Sherman articles.  I mean who really gives a shit anyways?  Sherman is just a defensive back.  He can talk all the trash he wants as long as he can back it up with his All-Pro play.  It's not like he is the quarterback or a kicker who can single handily win or lose a game with his play.  Hell Sherman didn't even make the interception.  His teammate did.  So please stop with the Sherman storyline.  I get it.  He's from Compton.  He went to Stanford.  He was a 5th round draft pick.  He's the best corner in the game right now. He trash talks all fucking game.  Blah blah.  Until he intercepts a ball and returns it for a pick 6 Deion Sanders style then I don't really see what the big deal about Sherman is.  He's just a defensive back who has the tendency to blow up on camera while being interviewed by Erin Andrews.

Oh and by the way he is not a "thug."  "He is the Man" according to this new Beats by Dre commercial...

Minnesota Gophers Hot Fans Take Selfies in Stands

I'm so out of the loop these days but I think these three Minnesota Gophers students are taking selfies and/or Vines at the Minnesota/Wisconsin game last night.  Well it's our duty to rank them in...um...order.  Girl on the far left despite the TV graphic trying to block our view is clearly #1.  She just has the "it" factor.  She carries this crew 24/7.  Now the tough part.  Who is #2 and who is relegated to the dreaded #3 spot which isn't necessarily bad with this trio.  Despite the bedazzled phone I got to go with the blonde for #2.  It's the smile in the end.  The cute little smirk just clinches it.  Now we need to find out who these girls are.  There must be Instagram pictures out there.   By the way Minnesota won the game, upsetting #9 Wisconsin 81-68.  They were clearly inspired by these gorgeous Gophers.

Via TheBigLead

Yankees Sign Masahiro Tanaka for $175 Million

Just when I was starting to feel bad for the New York Yankees and those awful contracts they handed out to aging stars Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, Brian McCann, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Carlos Beltran they go out and totally redeem themselves by signing Japanese pitcher Masahiro Tanaka for seven-years, $155 million (plus $20 million posting fee).  This signing will work out great for the Yankees.  Tanaka has never pitched in the majors but fuck it, what does that matter?  He put up great numbers in Japan so "let's pay him Clayton Kershaw money" is a great way to build a franchise.  Brilliant in fact.  Absolutely no way this signing blows up in their faces.  Tanaka will perform great in the low pressure, laid back style that only New York can provide.  Plus he isn't making quite as much as A-Rod so he won't have a bulls eye on his back.  We all know Yankees fans are caring, loving individuals who no matter how much their stars struggle are only there to support them with admiration.  Good luck in NY Tanaka!

Baltimore Ravens Jacoby Jones Gives Grade A Drunk Interview At Pelicans Game

I have no fucking clue what Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Jacoby Jones said here at a clearly sold out New Orleans Pelicans game last night.  After decades of studying, practicing, and perfecting the art of drunk I still can't translate Jacoby's slurs.  Jacoby is so smashed he's wearing a LiveStrong bracelet.  Bro those were in style 10 years ago.  Yes ma'aaaamm!

Auburn Band Reacts to 2013 Iron Bowl Win

Unless you are an inbred Bama fan you have to get the chills watching this video of the Auburn band reacting to Chris Davis' epic missed field goal return for the winning score in the 2013 Iron Bowl.  I honestly don't see how these kids are even performing after watching this live in person.  I would have been going ape shit.  Fuck this fiddle I'm going down to the field to celebrate!

Jameis Winston Has A Country Song Called "He's Jameis"

I can definitely see Jameis and his friends rocking out to this slow country song with his friends while drinking moonshine in Southern Alabama.  Peas in a pod my friends.  Peas in a pod.

RussellMania Seattle Shirts Now Available! 50% sales goes to American Cancer Society

Ok SportsCrack Nation this RussellMania shirt is going to be our big fund raiser for the American Cancer Society.  As you probably know we have donated a portion of all our sales to the ACS since my Mom passed away from Cancer back in 2006.  Well in the past week I've had two close friends also lose parents to the terrible disease.  Simply put Cancer sucks!  I've decided that 50% of all sales from the new RUSSELLMANIA SEATTLE shirts will go directly to the American Cancer Society.  This is our chance to help stop this deadly disease.  If you don't want the t-shirt and simply want to donate directly to the American Cancer Society because you are an awesome human being please go to their site at this link.

Thanks SportsCrack Nation!

New Irish Green Shirt: Fear The Stache

Intensity.

Respect.

Epic.

Funny.

Classic.

Fear.

Stache.

All of these words describe our new FEAR THE STACHE Irish Green Shirt.  This classic tee will bring back memories of a Brawny defense.  A defense that will be unleashed in 2014 thanks to the "Fear the Stache" campaign.  Get the one and only "Fear The Stache" shirt today!

A Night In Louisville Starring Bobby Petrino and Rick Petino

With Bobby Petrino riding his Hog back to Louisville we now have two lost soul mates who can finally connect in the dance club with fellow Casanova Rick Pitino waiting on tender chariot.  It's going to be wet and wild for sure.  Secretaries, interns, colleagues, Hooters waitresses you have been warned.  Double P is coming for ya!

Hipster NFL Logos

The awesome folks over at KissingSuzyKolber produced some top notch Hipster NFL Logos.  These are just a few of my favorites.

We all know Hipsters love their "craft beer."  Hey buddy can I get a Pompous Asshole Pale Ale?

James Franklin Bought an Ad in The Tennessean to Thank Vanderbilt

I gotta admit this was a classy move by new Penn State head coach James Franklin.  Franklin took out a near full page ad in The Tennessean to thank Vanderbilt for everything they gave him.  Now you can get a small glimpse of why people like Franklin are so successful.

I've been arguing with some friends about Franklin.  For some wacko reason they think he will be a massive failure in Happy Valley.  I can't even grasp that bullshit.  The guy won at Vanderbilt!  Before he got to Nashville the Commodores had been to one, yes, one bowl game in the last 28 years.  During his 3 years they went to 3 bowl games.  I would say that is pretty damn good.  Also they beat up on Tennessee, Georgia and Florida who are all SEC East blueblood programs.

If the Big Ten is ever going to get back to dominant conference play (have they ever?) they need to poach coaches from the SEC.  Last year they did it with Urban Meyer going to Ohio State.  This year it is Franklin.  He will kill it for State Penn.  College football needs Franklin to succeed at Penn State.  It's so much more entertaining when at least a few teams from up north are competing for National Titles.  We need to revive the Civil War of College Football.  Yee Haw!

Instagram Heat: Emma Frain

I've had an Instagram account for over 2 years now and I have honestly been on there maybe 4 times.  I never really understood the attraction of the photo sharing website.  Of course I was the same way with Twitter at first but then you realize why so many people are getting on there: porn.  No I'm kidding of course. Most people go on there for all the great information right?

Back to Instagram.  Check out Emma Frain's page.  It's full of goodies at http://instagram.com/thefrainbow

Here are some highlights:

Blaze the Husky Says No to the Kennel

Hey what can you say other than this dog gets it.  No one wants to be in a kennel.  Especially not Blaze.  You can try all you want master but you are not getting me in that fucking box a-hole.

I didn't realize people still put their dogs in cages.  Seems cruel to be honest.  How would you like to sit in a box barely bigger than your body for 8 hours a day?  Sounds awesome right?  Sign me up.

Lane Kiffin To Bama Deserves a New The Beverly Hillbillies Song

What in the fuck was Nick Saban thinking?

Lane Kiffin?

Seriously?

People don't intentionally try to get AIDS or Cancer but here we are in 2014 and Saban has just infected his program with Kiffin.  It's the most deadly disease known to football.

Those poor inbred cousins down in Tuscaloosa have no fucking clue what they are getting into with Kiffin.  And don't even start with the "well he was a great coordinator with USC" bullshit.  The Trojan's roster was full of Heisman winners and All-Americans.  Gene Chizik and Larry Coker could have one done wonders with those players too.

In all honesty I have to thank Saban for hiring Kiffin.  It's going to be pure entertainment down in Tuscaloosa.  Saban is letting his ego get the best of him thinking he can turn anything into gold and shit maybe he does shine the shit off of Kiffin's turd of a coaching career but I seriously doubt it.

Image via @Nick_Pants

CSN Introduces The New Chicago Cubs Mascot Clark Who Apparently Is Packing Heat

You might want to put some pants on that Cub.  100 plus years of losing baseball and still Clark the Cub is packing some serious heat.  Good for him.  Bad for the kids.

Deadspin did a great job with Clark.  You might as well make him anatomically correct if he's not gonna have any pants on.

Great Hockey Fight: Mike Brown vs Aaron Volpatti

Talk about some haymakers!  Holy shit these two goons exchanged some bloody blows.  It looks like Mike Brown of the San Jose Sharks got a little bit of the upper hand in this exchange with Aaron Volpatti of the Washington Capitals.  I'm going to make Gretzky bleed!!!!

Great Prank: Devil Baby Stroller in NYC

These videos always have me cracking up.  Just seeing someone scared shitless is funny.  Imagine if they filmed this animatronic devil baby prank in Texas instead of New York City.  That fake baby would have bullet holes all through it.

Tina Fey Knocks It Out of the Park With This Golden Globes Introduction of Leonardo Dicaprio

"Like a supermodel's vagina, let's please give a warm welcome to Leonardo Dicaprio" - gold Jerry, gold!

Thank you Tina Fey!  You gave the whole audience a laugh out loud moment while causing Martin Scorcese to almost shit himself on national television.  You have to love Leonardo too.  You know he is just going to lay it into Fey and Amy Poehler later after he gets done banging every single model in attendance.

Broncos Fan Wearing a Peyton Manning Jersey Gets His Ass Kicked in San Diego

Hey I get you were very excited to win a playoff game.  But if you are a Denver Broncos fan wearing a bright orange Peyton Manning jersey in San Diego it's probably not smart to go running around amongst Chargers fans shouting "Hey San Diego, Go Fuck Yourselves!"  It's funny in "Anchorman" but it sure as shit isn't funny when you are getting your 300 lb ass kicked and then arrested.

Peyton Manning's #1 Priority is Bud Light

Well you got to love the honesty.  Peyton Manning is one of the all-time greats.  He's also has a losing record in the playoffs and despite having a Super Bowl in his back pocket has a huge monkey on his back.  So yeah if Peyton wants a fucking Bud Light at the end of the huge playoff win he will get it.  Especially now that he knows he has Tom Brady and the Patriots coming to town he's has to feel parched.  You know the folks over in Golden, CO are fucking pissed right now.  Peyton just bitched slap Coors in the face with his St. Louis love.

January 9th 2013 Was Not a Good Day for Notre Dame

The BCS Era is finally dead but it seems like Notre Dame's horrible January luck will continue to reign supreme.  It's been 20 years since the Fighting Irish had a good first month of the New Year and after yesterday it could be another 20 years.

Here is a rough time line of the shit hitting the fan in South Bend.

Image via UHND

LEADING RETURNING RECEIVER DAVARIS DANIELS SUSPENDED FOR SPRING
Davaris Daniels caught 49 passes for 745 yards and seven touchdowns in 2013 but won't be catching shit this spring other than study time after being suspended for a less than stellar GPA.  Ahh the joys of playing at an actual academic institution.  Daniels was expected to be QB Everett Golson's (another player suspended last season for academics) #1 target and really only proven receiving commodity other than TE Troy Niklas (shit we will get to him later) returning.  Now it's up in the air.  Yes he can return if he gets his grades back in order but as a rising senior this shouldn't even be an issue at this point in his collegiate career.  Players like Daniels need to be leaders especially at a position at WR where they are extremely green.  No Spring Game for Daniels means players like Chris Brown and CJ Procise as well as freshman wideouts Corey Robinson, Will Fuller, and James Onwuala will have to build some trust with Golson as he returns.

DT TOP RECRUIT MATT DICKERSON DECOMMITS, GOING TO UCLA
Well at least this news broke before signing day and not 3 months after.  UCLA again poached a valuable ND recruit at a position where they struggle mightily to get quality numbers in defensive tackle.  Last year it was freshman All-American Eddie Vanderdoes and this year it's another Northern Cali prospect in Matt Dickerson.  Dickerson like Vanderdoes is citing family issues for flipping to UCLA and wanting to stay closer to home.  This is understandable but both players are still a 5-6 hour drive from UCLA to their respective homes.  In other words it's more BS.  Oh well move on right?  I mean defensive tackles are just rushing to get into Notre Dame now that Louis Nix is going first round to the NFL right?  Fuck no.

NOTRE DAME SWITCHING TO UNDER ARMOUR
This is just a personal preference and not an indictment on Notre Dame.  I just am not a fan of Under Armour.  And yes I'm from Maryland originally but I think UA gear is overpriced and overrated.  No offense but offense to my Maryland peeps.  Supposedly ND picked UA over Nike after deciding to let their Adidas contract run out.  A lot of recruits and fans were not happy with the decision.  They bitched and moan about it on Twitter and Facebook.  I was also one of those fans.  I don't want to protect this house.  I want Nike and field turf and a fucking video board in the stadium in 2014.  But none of these things look like they will happen.  Awesome.

Image via UHND

TROY NIKLAS DECLARES FOR NFL DRAFT

This was the final dick kick I needed before going to bed late last night.  Presumed to be returning tight end Troy Niklas aka Hercules aka build himself into a 1st round pick in 2014 aka what the fuckity fuck are you doing declaring for the NFL draft?  I've had some time to rethink this and if I was in Niklas size 15 shoes I would have come back for my senior season and strive to make myself the best tight end in the nation but I can also see leaving early.  Football careers are short and concussions are extremely dangerous.  Niklas has the later already.  You gotta get your money "legally" while you can and after talking with Tyler Eifert and others Niklas made his decision.  At least he told Brian Kelly about it unlike Stephon Tuitt who went straight to the media.  No way to sugar coat it but losing Niklas and Tuitt are tremendous losses.  Physically no one can replace those two on the roster.  But hey look on the bright side at least Notre Dame plays a shit schedule like Ohio State...oh wait...nevermind.

And last but not least I've heard some grumblings about Kelly and the NFL.  At this point nothing would surprise me.  With so many players jumping ship and academics taking away elite talent I'm not so sure Kelly returns in 2014.  At this point they are just rumors but until Notre Dame or Brian Kelly come out and announce his new offensive coordinator (?) and defensive coordinator (Brian VanGorder) I'm going to prepare myself for the worst.  Because make no mistake losing Kelly would be devastating.  And no Gruden is not walking through that Golden Dome door nor would I want him.