SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Prince Fielder in the new ESPN Body Issue is as Disturbing as one would expect


ESPN did a good job finding all the athletes we don't want to see naked and put them in their new Body Issue.  Thanks assholes!  Once again you guys are creating the news instead of reporting it.  Seeing Prince Fielder in the buff will haunt my nightmares for years.  Therapy will only do so much after seeing that round, overpaid "athlete" holding a bat naked.  Prince is the new Freddie Krueger.  Don't close you eyes kids!  Prince is coming for you.

The only decent athlete they found was Hilary Knight who apparently plays women's hockey.  Some guys find muscles on girls attractive.  I'm not one of them but it's better than being fat I guess.


Monday, July 07, 2014

Danish HandBall is Indeed Very Handy...



Got a hand it (pun intended) to the girl in yellow.  She just went for it.  Full hands all over blue.  Surprised she didn't make a Peter Griffin honking noise when squeezing them.  I'm going to need to do some more research on Danish Handball.  Yeah.  "Research."

Video via Ebaum's World

Australian Football League Looks Fun and Completely Safe



If you are into getting choked out by blokes in tight white shorts then I highly recommend trying out for the Australian Football League.  Only a gentleman could survive such a light hearted affair.

No Big Deal Just Johnny Manziel With a Rolled Up Bill in a Bathroom



Oh just another day in the life of Johnny Fucking Football.  According to BustedCoverage a tipster sent in this picture of Manziel rolling a bill in a Vegas bathroom before laying a kisser on Playboy Social model Dallas Parks...



Johnny's eyes tell the whole story.  Just a guy having a good old time with millions of dollars in his back pocket.  One rolled up bill at a time.




Wednesday, July 02, 2014

There isn't a player I hate more in the game than David Ortiz



When ever Big Papi gets popped for steroids will be the day justice was finally served for this egomaniac fraud.  If Ortiz played for any other franchise besides the Red Sox he would be 100% hated.  It would be Barry Bonds-like hatred.  But instead he plays in Boston and everybody in the Northeast (except Yankees fans of course) likes him because he helped lead the Red Sox to 3 World Series titles.  I hate his fucking attitude.  He bitches and moans at his coaches, teammates, and even official scorers if he feels the least bit slighted.  I call him the Black Shrek not just because he's an ugly dude who resembles an ogre but his heart is black too.  He's the biggest phony in the game since A-Rod isn't technically playing right now and his stats along with his shriveled up grapes are 200% PED induced.

By the way if I was the pitcher I would hit him straight in the neck.  He may be big but you know just like everything else about him Big Papi is all talk and would go down fast with one good punch.

One of the Strangest Triple Plays You Will Ever See



After two reviews, one by the Cleveland Indians at 2nd base and one by the Los Angeles Dodgers at home plate, a triple play was confirmed by the Indians.  Mark this in "shit I've never seen on a baseball field."  Great throw by Michael Brantley.  Brought back memories of my hose.

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Johnny Football Now Hanging Out With Justin Bieber and Floyd Mayweather, Internet Will Crash with this Picture


After seeing this picture all my bets on Johnny Manziel having a successful NFL career are over.   While Justin Bieber and Floyd Mayweather are massive successes in their fields Johnny Football is still a rookie who has yet to take a snap in the NFL.  But he is already partying like he is Tom Brady.  I would say I feel bad for Cleveland Browns fans but shit didn't we all kind of expect this when the Browns drafted him?  Somehow "they" would fuck it up is now turning into Johnny will go Len Bias on us and vanish before we even had a chance to watch him try to turn a dreadful franchise around.  Look I'm not here to hate on Manziel.  Shit I would be doing the same fucking thing if I was in his size 15 cleats.  I'd be out partying and banging 10's with my ugly mug posing for selfies with every celebrity you could name.  But at the end of the day there is no way I could succeed because the game is second to the fame.  Maybe Johnny grows up but why should he?  He's Johnny Fucking Football and it's his world.

Picture via BarStoolSports

Notre Dame Unveils New Under Armour Football Cleats


Notre Dame equipment manager Ryan Grooms tweeted out this picture of the brand new Under Armour football cleats the team will wear this upcoming season.  Straight fire!  Anything less than an undefeated season in those will be highly disappointing.  Don't fuck it up Under Armour!  Click Clack.

USA vs Belgium: Are You Ready?



One Nation.  One Team.  Today is the day for USA Soccer to make a whole nation proud and do the impossible: Get to the quarterfinals.  We already survived the "Group of Death" but that's not enough.  We need to win today!  We have to beat Belgium.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Mike Trout Hits One "Into Bo Jackson Territory" Almost 500 Feet



489 feet into the Kansas City fountain.  It's ungodly how great of a player Mike Trout is.  He should be working on his 3rd straight MVP in his first 3 seasons if only voters weren't so stupid to think that only players on teams who make the playoffs should win MVPs.  Trout is a modern day Lou Gehrig.  We are just lucky to see a player of his skill dominate the game of baseball.




Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Emily Ratajkowski Has Ben Affleck's Approval after seeing these GQ Photos


Model Emily Ratajkowski brought her A game for GQ.  She probably starved herself for weeks on end eating only lettuce and carrots like a bunny just so she could hit it out of the park in GQ Magazine with this spread...




And now Emily is going to be in a Ben Affleck movie because of how talented of an actress she is.  At least that is what Affleck wants you and his wife to believe as he is boning Emily in his trailer.

LOS ANGELES, June 24 (UPI) –Emily Ratajkowski can thank “Blurred Lines” for her upcoming role in Gone Girl.
The 23-year-old model came to fame after she appeared in the Robin Thicke music video in March 2013. Fans and celebrities alike took notice, and her beauty and self-possession helped make her a breakout star.
Ratajkowski covers the July issue of GQ, and director David Fincher also spoke to the magazine for the article. The model will appear as Andie Hardy in Gone Girl, a writing student and mistress of Ben Affleck’s character Nick Dunne. The director reveals that Ratajkowski in “Blurred Lines” was the first thing he and Affleck thought of when they cast the part.
“I was talking with Ben and what I wanted for the Andie role was someone who could be incredibly divisive among men and women in the audience,” the director says. “We needed somebody where, at the moment she appears, the women are going, ‘That is unreasonable and despicable.’ And you also have the men going, ‘Yes, but…’ And so Ben said, ‘Yeah, like the girl in the ‘Blurred Lines’ video.’”
“She was just incredibly mature,” he lauds. “She wasn’t smitten with being the girl of the moment. She’s no bull[expletive]. If [Dunne's] gonna ruin [his] life on a 21-year-old, they have to be special, and she was.”
"Incredibly mature" is code for Emily has great developed ta-ta's.  Good luck with that Ben.  Bastard.








Report: UGA and Notre Dame Have Agreed To a Home-and-Home Football Series



It looks like 2017 and 2018 could be the first opportunity for Notre Dame to schedule a long awaited SEC opponent in their backyard according to the AJC.


Athens — 


The universities of Georgia and Notre Dame are expected to announce this week they have agreed to terms on a home-and-home football series, according to various reports.
Mike Cavan, a special assistant to Athletic Director Greg McGarity and former college football coach, hinted of a “big scheduling announcement” from Georgia later week while appearing as a guest on “The Bulldog Roundtable” radio show on 680 The Fan on Wednesday morning. After the show, its host Buck Belue tweeted that the opponent was Notre Dame.
“Sounds like UGA has struck a deal w/ Notre Dame! Big anno coming next 24-48. Irish in Sanford Stadium, ‘Dawgs in S. Bend = awesome opp!,” Belue said on his Twitter account, @buckbelue8.
UGA officials have not replied to requests for confirmation.
McGarity has confirmed before that Georgia has been in negotiations with Notre Dame — and other major football powers — to play future home-and-home series. 

Most recently, McGarity was asked about the prospect at the SEC Meetings in Destin last month.
“I think it’s an opponent we’ve played, what, one time 1980?” McGarity told reporters then. “For our fans to be able to go up to South Bend, and for our fans to see Notre Dame play between the hedges, I think from a national perspective it’d be off the charts, as far as interest, as far as intrigue. That would be something out of the ordinary that our fans would be very, very excited about.”

But when asked then how close they were to striking a deal, McGarity said: “I think we’re just waiting to work through some verbal communications before we have anything in writing.”

Georgia and Notre Dame have played just once in football. They met in the Sugar Bowl on Jan. 1, 1981, and the Bulldogs won 17-10 to complete an undefeated season and eventually be named consensus national champions.

Georgia is currently in the market for non-conference opponents for the seasons of 2017 and beyond. Stay tuned for more details.

This is a series I have been looking forward to my whole life.  Notre Dame will play anybody, any day.  The problem is they always have a tough time scheduling SEC teams with the exception of Tennessee because those schools don't like to travel outside of the Southeast.  Well now UGA has finally stepped up to the plate and taken on the challenge of scheduling a tough out of conference game in Notre Dame.  Kudos to UGA and ND for getting this series on the schedule.  It will be one of the most watched games of the year no doubt and will have both fan bases fired up.  And to top it all off Athens is only a hour drive for me.  The Fighting Irish between the hedges makes for a perfect Fall afternoon.

Adrian Beltre Collects His 2500th Hit, Still Hates to be Touched on his Head



Be honest how many people besides Texas Rangers fans knew Adrian Beltre was closing in on 2500 hits?  It's a hell of an accomplishment from a great player and this might make the third baseman a sneaky Hall of Fame lock.  But if he ever gets the vote into Cooperstown he has to also have someone try to touch his head before handing him his plaque.  Miguel Cabrera, himself a future HOFer, gave Beltre a little head nod and you could see the pure fire in his eyes.  He's just angry as shit.  Love it.

Miami Hurricanes 5:30 AM Workout Looks Like a NightClub


I guess it's dark to hide all the hookers and blow!  No lie this is how you get recruits to come to Miami. Just turn your 5:30 AM workouts into a full blown nightclub with a DJ and everyone will be jumping at the bit to get up and lift some weights and train.  The Hurricanes and Al Golden are setting the tempo for modern college football.

Our "Catholics vs Criminoles 2014" Shirt Went Viral Yesterday



Big Thanks go out to all the websites and blogs who gave us the great honor of publishing our "Catholics vs Criminoles 2014" shirt on their awesome sites.

Check out some of these great sports sites:










Luis Suarez: The Bite Seen Around The World












Tuesday marked the third time in his career Uruguay's Luis Suarez has bit a player on the pitch.  This time it just happened to be with the whole world watching as Uruguay battled Italy and eventually eliminated them in a thrilling World Cup match.  Suarez is likely facing at least a two game suspension and perhaps as much as a two year suspension from Fifa.  How about we just let a bunch of rabid pitbulls attack the fucker and let him see how it feels?

Here are some of Suarez's other crazy moments.  This guy is a grade A douchebag...



This Might Be the Funniest and Most Terrifying Vine of a Kid I've Ever Seen



This little fucker literally scared the shit out of me the first time I watched it.  I don't recommend watching this human leprechaun while trying to pinch a loaf off.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Tampa Bay Rays Embarrassed Themselves vs the "Knuckleball Princess" in BP



Seriously what in holy hell happened to the Tampa Bay Rays?  They were baseball's small market underdog darlings along with the Oakland A's for the past 5 years but this year they have just completely sucked ass.  You go from nearly winning a World Series to looking like schmucks vs a 17-year-old girl named Chelsea Baker in batting practice.  They should just fold up the team and move them to Charlotte already.  I don't know what's more embarrassing: The Rays MLB worst record of 31-47 or Evan Longoria's blonde mohawk?


I Watched This Crush Davis Walk-Off Homer At Least 50 Times Last Night



And it still doesn't get old.  I'm going to watch it at least another 50 times till my balls shrivel up and erode from exhaustion.

Model/Reporter Andressa Urach Gets Naked for Cristiano Ronaldo



I literally have no fucking clue what she is saying nor do I care.  All I know is that model Andressa Urach is a former runner up in the Miss Butt Brazil (yes their country has this and we don't) and she is not afraid to show off her talent on TV.  Be sure to check out her Instagram or you can just google Image search for her better pictures.

USA Soccer Video: Beat Germany



I will admit this World Cup has pulled me in 100%.  As a die hard sports fan but only a casual soccer follower I've been watching this World Cup like it's the Olympics.  I love rooting for my country and as an underdog I love rooting for them even more.  We aren't suppose to beat Ghana, Portugal, and Germany.  But on Thursday we have a shot to at least win 2 of 3 and advance to the round of 16 out of the Group of Death.  I'd say that's pretty damn impressive.  Granted we can advance just by getting a tie with Germany but fuck that...we gotta win!  USA!  USA!  USA!  Beat Germany!








Erin Andrews Slurping From the Stanley Cup


Fox Sports sideline reporter Erin Andrews didn't hesitate nor should she to get on bended knee and take a thirsty sip while cupping the glorious Lord Stanley's Cup.  It's the first time LA Kings center Jarret Stoll (her boyfriend) has seen Erin get down on her knees so fast since he told her he makes 7 digits.  Love is a beautiful thing!

Monday, June 23, 2014

Somebody Give This Bull a Linebacker Contract



Hey next time asshole you might not try to run across with red fucking pants on!  Just a thought.  I think that's basic bull fighting 101 right there.  Don't wear red pants and/or stop right in front of running bull only to get your head knocked off.  This was on par for my Friday and Sunday night.  Riding high Friday night with the Orioles about to take game 1 in their series vs the Skankees only  to give up a 3 run walk off to Carlos Beltran.  Then Sunday you might have heard about the USA choking against Portugal with less than 10 seconds left in stoppage time thanks to Michael Bradley's latest gaffe.  All things considered I'll take being a disgruntled sports fan over being this dead guy.

Via BarStoolSports

Michelle Wie Won Her First Major Then Got Shitfaced and Started Twerking



If I was 24-years-old and had been playing golf my entire life while being dubbed the ladies version of Tiger Woods and had yet to win a major despite turning pro at 13 you can sure as hell bet I would be getting shit faced like Michelle Wie here.  Wie filled her trophy up with some tasty cold beer and then chugged that shit like it was the Stanley Cup.   And to top it off she did some drunk twerking which can't be easy for a girl who is over 6 feet tall.  Wie can drink for my team any day!

World's Drunkest Man Gets WWE Treatment Remix



I could watch this all day and still never stop laughing.  It's just so perfect with Jim Ross doing the play-by-play of some asshole drunk on the street stumbling and face planting directly into the road.  The guy's face almost exploded.  "That's it he's dead!"

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Peyton Manning Reacts to the new Kim Kardashian Bikini Photos






So it looks like Kim Kardashian has bounced back from delivering Kanye West's devil spawn by doing what she does best: sex and working out.  Granted her hips are now wider than Texas but who gives a shit, everything else is legit.

When asked about his thoughts about Kim and her new post baby body Peyton Manning showed his horndog self...



Padres Honor the Late Tony Gwynn With a Tremendous Tribute



You can often see how much a human being had an impact on the world after they leave the living world.  On Monday Tony Gwynn left at the young age of 54 due to complications from cancer.  He left a legacy.  Everybody has nothing but kind words for Mr. Padre.  He was an institution in San Diego having grown up, gone to college, and played his entire career in the area.  I was fortunate to meet Tony a couple of times growing up and he didn't let you down with his smile, his laugh, and his ability to connect with you even though he really didn't know you.  We all knew about Tony growing up but he was more interested in finding out about you the person.  Tony was just a great guy.  A great player.  Perhaps the best hitter the game has seen in 50 plus years.  Tony Gwynn will be missed.  Tony is up there with the Cal Ripkens, Dale Murphys and Ozzie Smiths of the baseball world.  Great ball players who were even better good guys off the field.  They lived up to the sports idol for every kid.

RIP Tony Gwynn.

Monday, June 16, 2014

USA Men's National Team Better Win Today vs Ghana



No more fucking excuses.  We are the USA.  We don't need excuses.  We need answers and we needed them yesterday.  Portugal just got their bitch asses steamrolled by the Germans and lost two players in the process including their pride and dignity.  This "group of death" currently doesn't look so fucking deadly anymore.  All the USA has to do is beat fucking Ghana at 6pm today.  Ghana is some piss ant from Africa who has no right to beat us considering all the money we put into developing our players and hiring the best coaches in the world.  I'm pretty sure 95% of Ghana doesn't even have electricity much less water.  No more fucking excuses America.  I want us to destroy Ghana and then kick the living shit out of Portugal and Ronaldo and then Germany can annihilate us for all I care since it won't matter since we will automatically advance.

P.S - I only watch soccer every four years for the World Cup.  I still think it's a nancy sport with "athletes" who would get curbed stomp playing in the States if they played one of the sports that actually matters (Football, baseball, hockey, basketball) but that doesn't matter right now.  It's about national pride.  We gotta win.  No more excuses.

Double P.S - Cool video.  I got a little chub from it  no lie.

Notre Dame Equipment Manager Ryan Grooms Teases the 2014 Shamrock Series Helmet With This Box Picture


Oh Ryan you can't be teasing the family jewels like this.  I can feel it deep in my plums.  They are all tingly in anticipation.  What's in the box?  I need to see the new 2014 Shamrock Series helmet today!

By the way before you even ask yes we will again have the helmets in stock first for sale.  As soon as Ryan reveals the helmet we will put a link up to buy the minis and authentic versions of it.

We still have some of the 2013 Shamrock Series and 2012 mini helmets in stock along with the authentics if anybody is interested in adding to their collection.

Go Irish!

Johnny Manziel Still Partying Hard, Can't Hear You Complaining With All of His Money



I'm not going to lie.  I would fucking kill to live one day in Johnny Football's shoes right now.  I mean is anybody else living it up more than Johnny Manziel?  He's got a different dime piece every week.  Hell he might have a different smokeshow every day for all I can tell.  He's been partying with celebrities all over the country.  He's got so much cash he can't even fucking hear us.  Johnny Cleveland is living like a gangster.  Party on Johnny.  Party on.



Thursday, June 12, 2014

NFL Films Announces Hard Knocks 2014 Will Feature Atlanta Falcons



Umm can I get a hell yeah?  Hard Knocks is one of my favorite shows and the Atlanta Falcons are my favorite NFL team so this is going to be a marriage in heaven no doubt.  We will get to see Arthur Blank behind the scenes pulling out his white glove and slapping one of his serfs like he is Colonel Sanders.  We will get to see head coach Mike Smith say absolutely nothing interesting while doing coach speak throughout.  We will get to see and hear Roddy White put his foot in his mouth multiple times while entertaining us Chad Johnson style.  Hopefully we will catch a glimpse of one of Matty Ice's road beef side pieces.  This will be must watch TV for what could be another painful season for all Falcons fans coming off a 4-12 season.  I don't think it will be a distraction and if anything it will keep the players more focused on rebounding from that shitfest 2013 season.

Over/Under on number of times Blank mentions his charitable work: 8

Talk About Luck: Sydney Man With a GoPro Cliffs Dive Into Water With a Great White Shark And Lives To Show It



Holy shit!  I'm trying to think of a more scary scenario than this.  Look I would be the last person you would see cliff diving.  I just couldn't muster up the courage even if I was hammered, black out drunk.  But to not only cliff dive and yet come down with the possibility of the world's most famous man eating predator just waiting for you as a snack is frightening.  This bloke is more lucky than any lottery winner.  His life was determined to go on only because that Great White waiting in the water had already eaten no doubt.

I'm trying to think of a more scarier scenario than cliff diving into Great White shark infested waters.  Hmmm, maybe being a Chicago Cubs fan.  Yeah that would definitely be suicidal.

A's Yoenis Cespedes Defies Logic With Terrible Fielding yet a Rocket Accurate Arm Saves Him Again

A's left fielder Yoenis Cespedes did it again last night vs the Angels.  Bobbling ground balls and making ridiculous on the mark throws has become Cespedes forte.  Watch him nail Albert Pujols at 3rd base...



And of course the night before Cespedes made one of the best throws I have ever seen.  He basically channeled his inner Bo Jackson and completed a frozen rope from the warning track all the way to home to nail Howie Kendrick...

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Watching Cristiano Ronaldo Throw Passes at the Jets Practice Facility Will Make You Appreciate His Overall Athleticism



Now I just feel bad for making fun of soccer players.  Sorry excuse me.  I meant "futbol players."  Every single soccer player has gone out of their way to tell me how they are the best athletes and it takes the most skill to excel at their great sport.  I mean after all it is the world's most popular sport so it must take an elite talent to conquer it like Cristiano Ronaldo has.  He's the best of the best and you would never know that he doesn't use his arms like every other sport in the world.  It's just so natural for him to throw a pigskin.  I mean he could probably win the Heisman next year if he decided to attend college and slay coeds instead of European models.  Yup it must be the reason why America sucks so bad at soccer because we don't have the great athletes that Europe and the other countries have.  Ronaldo proves it with his natural talent.  It's like watching 50 Cent throw a baseball.  You can't miss the greatness.

Love those shorts by the way.  It's always comforting to see someone's nuts dangling out while dribbling a soccer ball.  Makes me respect his game even more.

KTLA Reporter Christina Pascucci Was Live at a Gay Pride Parade When a Patron Said "You Are So F*cking Hot"



See America has nothing to fear when it comes to gay people and marriage.  Give them a little bit of the sauce and they start hitting on the opposite sex on live tv.  This guy seems to have the same amount of game I used to have while intoxicated.  The scary part is it actually worked.  About 5% of the time but hey beggars can't be choosers.  Someone get this guy another drink he could turn into Derek Jeter just swooping up grade A road beef.

Adriana Lima Has Changed My Mind, I Will Be Watching the World Cup



We really are a simple breed.  Just show us a pretty girl and we will throw all logic out of the window.  We are basically dogs.  Give us a little love and we are all ears and panting for more.  Model Adrian Lima could have turned on Big Ten Football and I would have been like "Fuck Yeah I need some Big Ten Football" even though we all know it sucks.  The power of the ....

Friday, June 06, 2014

Lebron James Cramping Memes are Internet Gold


Full disclosure: last night was the first time I've watched any of the NBA Playoffs.  I turned it on because I figured I might owe it to myself to see what all the hoopla was about.  Apparently the Spurs forgot to pay their HVAC bill and the air conditioning went out in the first period.  I will be the last person to make fun of somebody for bitching about the hot conditions which reached 90 degrees inside San Antonio's AT&T arena.  I personally think AC is one of if not the greatest and most needed inventions of all time.  With that being said I've played baseball, football, basketball, street hockey, golf, tennis, track and field all in temperatures above 90 growing up in the South.  It sucks but you get used to it.  I didn't see old men Tim Duncan or Ray Allen wilting under the heat.  Lebron you play for a fucking team called the Heat.  Act like you have been there before.  I've dealt with cramps before.  They suck.  But you can play through them.  Get an IV or some fucking water.  Stop drinking that Powerade junk and drink plenty of H2O.  And don't you dare get carried off the court again like a bitch.  That's fucking embarrassing.  I'm actually embarrassed for him.  No fucking way would I be carried off unless a bone was sticking out of both of my legs.






See more at GAMEDAYR.COM




http://gamedayr.com/lifestyle/fans/lebron-james-cramping-memes-109235/

Thursday, June 05, 2014

Crush Davis Hits a Towering Home Run, Given Silent Treatment from Teammates



Last season Baltimore Orioles slugger Chris "Crush" Davis hit a staggering 53 homers in a break out season that earned him top 3 MVP votes.  This season Davis has been struggling with the long balls.  He had 7 going into last night at the 1/3 season mark.  After hitting a towering ball in the right field bleacher seats in Arlington last night you would think his teammates would be excited to see Crush break out of his mini slump.  They gave him the silent treatment.  Davis would not be shown up though as he gave his air high fives to his imaginary teammates.  Take that assholes!

O's won their 4th straight.  I'm still holding out hope the O's beat the Dodgers in the World Series as I predicted before the season started.  They need to make a trade for another starter (Jeff Samardzija please) and get Matt Wieters back from injury and they should be fine.  They got this!

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

50 Cent With the All-Time Worst First Pitch



50 Cent must have taken 9 bullets to his left shoulder before delivering this stinker of a first pitch.  I'm right handed and I'm 100% certain I could throw left handed better than 50.  Clearly not an athlete 50 should stick with rapping and/or soccer because the use of his arm is clearly not needed or wanted.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Crush Davis' One Word To Describe Major League Home Run Leader Nelson Cruz is Flamboyant



We are near the 1/3 season mark and Baltimore Orioles slugger/"Biogenisis survivor" Nelson Cruz is the MLB leader with 16 HRs.  Some would describe Cruz  as passionate, beastly, steady, machine, etc. His teammate Chris Davis who led the Majors last season in HR and RBIs however has a different one word description: flamboyant.  I don't think anyone saw that coming.  Hopefully "Cruzzzzzz" can be as flamboyant as Brady Anderson was back in the mid-to-late 90's and lead the Orioles back to the playoffs.  You go boy!

Washington National's Baseball Defined in one Smelly Armpit Vine



Now that is NATITUDE!  Smell it!  Smell it!  I said fucking SMELL IT!

Via @recordsandradio

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Norm McDonald is not a big fan of Oscar Pistorius



I can see Norm McDonald's argument.  You should need actual legs to be able to race.  It's only fair.  No wonder the guy murdered his girlfriend.  He's been living a lie his whole life thinking he had real legs.

Monday, May 19, 2014

The Johnny Cleveland Rap Song



He's got the city believing...he's going to wreck this league!  Truer words have never been spoken.

Johnny Manziel is now bigger than the city of Cleveland.  Johnny Football is going to be running around Cleveland giving girls epic panty slushies.  It's inevitable.





Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Braves Release Renderings of New Stadium







The Atlanta Braves released on Wednesday conceptual drawings of their planned 41,000-plus seat Cobb County Stadium.
The images show a stadium with three main decks, including a split upper deck, and a broad sun canopy that’s about three times the size of the overhang at Turner Field. The drawings also provide a glimpse at the design concepts behind the $400 million mixed-use complex to sit around the ballpark.


“This is a very early look at how our vision is shaping up and, even though we are still months away from final plans and drawings, we are very pleased with the progress,” said Braves President John Schuerholz, said in a news release. “The renderings represent the sense of place we intend to create 365 days a year in addition to a world-class ballpark.”

The Braves announced in November their intention to move to Cobb into a new $622 million stadium for the 2017 season. The team also plans to open the first phase of its surrounding mixed-use project, a blend of bars, shops, restaurants, office space, hotels and residences, in 2017 with full completion slated for 2019.

Derek Schiller, the Braves head of marketing, told reporters in a conference call that the ballpark will be oriented to the southwest. It’s not a typical ballpark layout – given the position of the sun in late afternoon hours and the view for fans and players at-bat.

Unlike Turner Field, the stadium also will likely have more character in its outfield. Rather than a curved outfield wall, Schiller said the team is looking at other arrangements with more defined power alleys.
He said, however, that he wouldn’t label the new stadium a hitter’s ballpark, and that the new venue will likely retain Turner Field’s reputation as a more pitcher-friendly field.
The renderings also show green space and a small lake of about 1-to 1.5 acres that will be a prominent feature on the site.


MY TAKE:  Looks incredible at least from the drawings.  I'm digging the Kansas City inspired lake feature out beyond the outfield.  Hell they could stock it with fish and use it as a fishing hole year round.  I would pay to go fishing and drinking right next to the Braves stadium.  The bars and shops should definitely attract more people for the games and give them something to do finally before and after.  The stadium itself looks like a good mixture of classic and modern.  They need to have some statues of Smoltz, Glavine, Maddux, Chipper, Murphy, Hank, Bobby, etc. to make it feel historic in it's own new way.  I think making it seat 41,000 is smart.  It will give it a more intimate feel.  It will be interesting to see the final renderings but this is a great start.  They still need to address the traffic situation and how accessible it will be for mass transit.




Georgia Recruit Nick Chubb Has Some Serious Hops


Tailback U is getting another specimen of an athlete this fall.  Incoming freshman Nick Chubb out of Cedartown High School was just gradually warming up for his track meet last week by doing some stretching and also had the chance to display his 40 inch vertical jump while loosing up his hammys.  And boy did he ever!  Holy shit this Chubb manchild makes Carl Lewis look like a JV athlete.

Before the comparisons already started somebody had the bright idea to put a side by side picture of current high school athlete Chubb next to the great Herschel Walker when he was in Athens.  You tell me who looks more like a super hero?


Chubb is a 5 star recruit who will make an immediate impact this fall despite returning starters Todd Gurley (the best college back in the nation) and Keith Marshall (coming off injury) otherwise known as Gurshall wrecking havoc again in the SEC.  If head coach Mark Richt and offensive coordinator Mike Bobo are smart enough they will realize they can ride the stable of Gurley, Marshall and Chubb to a SEC Title if they decide to RUN THE DAMN BALL and play to the strength of their offense while keeping their defense fresh and off the field.  The last time Georgia seriously contended for a National Championship they rode Herschel all the way to a Sugar Bowl triumph 34 years ago.  Why not do the same this year with 3 guys instead while keeping their legs fresh?