BEER MAKES YOU STUPID SHIRT

This is our new shirt in jest to a certain figure at football games. The person has become a notorious figure during gameday and has often stated that "Beer makes you stupid" when arresting or throwing out paid spectators. To hear more about the story click on this NDNation link.

This shirt comes at the request from hundreds of ND students and fans who have felt their rights violated in some part due to an overzealous security and police force at games. They have even disrupted good old fashioned tailgating before the football games which I'm pretty sure would get you castrated in the South. Don't ever mess with men and women and their tailgates!

The "slured speach and stumbly" on the back of the shirt is a poke at a certain usher's descriptive writing when arresting a spectator. The shirts are only $15 with 10% of sales going to Hannah and Friends, a nonprofit organization formed by the Weis family to help children and adults with special needs.

We are taking preorders now. The shirts will start shipping starting at the beginning of next week.

ORDER HERE

And please remember that these shirts are satirical and meant to be funny because as most of us know drinking beer is fun at football games as long as you don't go overboard like myself by drinking way too much and waking up later with piss all over yourself. God, those were fun days.

OFF TO THE GYM

In the past two weeks I have managed to get off my lazy ass and worked up enough energy into getting my round tub of goo to the gym. I want to get back into decent shape as I near the age of 30. As you get older you realize your metabolism slows down dramatically and all those beers and tacos (literally and figuratively) you consume daily eventually catches up to you to a point where one day you get winded just waking up. The hangovers get worse and the abs swell to epic proportions. It gets disgusting and kind of depressing to be honest. I hadn't been to a gym regularly in a while and I must say things have changed. Obama keeps talking about change and now I'm wondering if the change had to do with how much more open men are in the locker room. Take for instance this situation where I went in to burn some calories from the old beer gut and just wanted to change back into my normal clothes in the locker room only to be put in this predicament...


Video HT: Little Britain USA, a side hurting comedy which is a must see on HBO Sunday nights.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL COCK...FAN

Busted Coverage has the poonrific shots of some young sassie strutting her stuff in Gamecock and Clemson attire. Poor girl has a hard time picking winners with two South Carolina programs with struggling coaches in Steve Spurrier and Tommy Bowden both on the proverbial hot seat as their respective programs struggle to match their preseason hype. She should just wear the FUSC or Ann Arbor is a Whore shirt. They are always winners.

MCCAIN'S BRAIN #3: THE DEBATE WITH OBAMA

MLB POSTSEASON PREDICTIONS

Milwaukee Brewers vs. Philadelphia Phillies-The Brewers make their first playoff appearance since 1982 and come in winning 6 of their last 7 games but will be without starter Ben Sheets. This is a huge loss for the Brew Crew because with him I think they win the first two games in this series with him teamed up with C.C. Sabathia. Since he isn't there I see the Phillies winning game 1 behind a strong performance from Cole Hamels. The Phillies bats in the postseason against Colorado were colder than Al Davis' balls last year but I think they will be much warmer and alive this year. Ryan Howard has been on fire in the past month and Chase Utley is ready to prove how great of a player he is on a big time stage. The Brewers win game 2 behind Sabathia but don't have enough pitching the rest of the way. I got the Phillies winning it in 4.

Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Chicago Cubs-Call me crazy but I wouldn't be surprised one bit if the Dodgers sweeped this series. Joe Torre and Manny Ramirez have this team firing on all cylinders so to speak and I think the pitching match ups favor the Dodgers in the first two games and possible the third. Derek Lowe has playoff experience and is a proven commodity whereas Ryan Dempster basically came out of nowhere this year to earn a first game start in the playoffs. I'm not saying Dempster is due to fail but I think Lowe will be stronger in game 1 and Manny and Andre Ethier will feast off Dempster mistakes. It is true that the Dodgers have the worst road record and the Cubs have the best home record among playoff teams but remember we are still talking about the Cubbies here. I think Carlos Zambrano will have a meltdown in Game 2 and put the Cubs in 0-2 hole. Rich Harden will come back and win in LA but I think the Dodgers pitching will hold up and they will get some timely hitting from the middle of the order. I got the Dodgers taking it in 4 games.

Boston Red Sox vs. Anaheim Angels-The Red Sox absolutely own the Angels during playoff time but the Angels crushed the Red Sox throughout the 2008 season. The Angels wrapped up their division almost a month ago and have been set on cruise control for most of the season. I think it catches up to them in this series. The pitching match ups on paper look to favor the Red Sox since they played in a much tougher division than the Angels and as a staff put up some great numbers. Honestly I think who ever wins the first game will win the series but I am interested to see how the Sox look without Manny Ramirez in their lineup come playoff time. Sure, Jason Bay is good but he is not nearly as good as Manny, especially in clutch situations. I'm going with the Red Sox in the first two games because I think Jon Lester and Dice-K are both better than John Lackey and Ervin Santana at this moment in time. But I think the Angels will win the next two games in Boston as their bats will start to heat up. In the end though I think the Red Sox are the better overall team in terms of pitching and hitting and have the psychological advantage over the Angels especially when you see so many Red Sox chowderhead bandwagon douche bags hanging out in Anaheim cheering for their flavor of the decade. Red Sox win in 5 games.

Chicago White Sox vs. Tampa Bay Rays-The White Sox managed to squeeze in to the playoffs with some clutch performances from two future HOFers in Jim Thome and Ken Griffey Jr. last night. The Rays managed to win the difficult AL East behind some great starting pitching and a lot of young players stepping up their game. I haven't been convinced all season that the White Sox are really that good of a team. I know the Rays are good. Forget about their past this team knows how to win games, especially close ones. I think overall the Rays have a much better team than the White Sox. Their confidence is really high and their young pitching with guys like Matt Garza and Scott Kazmir are ready to shine. As much as I would love and pull to see a class act like Griffey make a World Series appearance the only way he will be there is as a guest announcer. Tampa Bay Rays sweep in 3.

THE GRIM REAPER TALKS

Now I know what Death sounds like when it's talking. Just a season after Al Davis traded away coach Jon Gruden to the Tampa Bay Bucs they have been a collective mess for six seasons and the franchise has rapidly turned into the laughingstock of the NFL. "Just win baby!" has become "We will win" which translates to when ever Davis sells the team or just dies.

Don't feel bad for Lane Kiffin. He will eventually get his money and should land a head coaching job in college as soon as Ty Willingham is shown the door at Washington.

Video HT: The Big Lead

NEW YORK JETS TAILGATES ARE FOR FLAMERS

This must be the reason why the security at Notre Dame football games has been so ridiculously over the top the past decade. It has become so obvious that football, booze, and cooking in a parking lot can lead to a fireball of destruction. Otherwise known to go by the name of Cappy at Notre Dame or Al Davis in Oakland. Both are good at destroying any sort of fun the fans might be looking for while rooting on their team before, during, and after a game. They must be stopped or thrown out because football just isn't as entertaining with those two guys in charge.

Video HT: Busted Coverage

BAILOUT REJECTED

It's comforting to know that political games along with pissing and moaning among our government officials will never come in between what is good for our economy. I mean honestly, I didn't really think all that money I kept putting in my 401k was actually going to pan out in the long run. I've learned a good lesson to never put good old fashioned boozing money or hooker spit money for that matter into something our financial institutions and government would just manage to throw away any ways. My bad.

NICK SABAN CAN'T BE STOPPED

I think I'm still a little awestruck by just how dominate Alabama was on Saturday night in Athens. They absolutely destroyed Georgia in every phase of the game with the most notable being the line of scrimmage. Georgia's inexperience on the offensive line hurt but there really is no reason to get dominated in that much of a fashion unless Bama is just the better overall team. Clearly Nick Saban is to blame for this. Poor Matthew Stafford never saw it coming.



Video HT: EDSBS

CRANK ME UP!

I just thought I would let the readers who don't know about the "Crank Me Up!" chant that the Notre Dame football players, students, band, and fans and alumni have been using all season see if for their own eyes.

The Irish crushed Purdue 38-21 and finally found an offensive identity for the first time since Brady Quinn graduated. These are exciting times to be an Irish fan since the majority of their starters and playmakers are underclassmen on both the offensive and defensive side of the ball. The Irish appear ready to make a run for a major bowl appearance if they can continue to stay focused and improve with QB Jimmy Clausen leading the way.

We have the official "Crank Me Up!" shirt with the trademarked slogan which is exclusive to us available only on our store page for only $14. A portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.



CRANK ME UP!

Video HT: IrishIllustrated

MLB AWARDS

C.C. Sabathia and Ryan Braun celebrate the Brewers first playoff appearance since 1982.


As you have noticed by reading this blog lately I have pretty much written off baseball since football started. I love baseball but it's been hard for the past decade plus when my favorite club, the Baltimore Orioles, are mathematically eliminated starting in spring training in the always rough and tough AL East. At least this year we don't have to hear about the New York Yankees in the playoffs. Hell, the Milwaukee Brewers made it for the first time since 1982 and have as good of a shot as any other team to win the World Series. The playoffs should be very entertaining (more on it later) but I'm here to talk about the regular season awards and who I think they should go to.

AMERICAN LEAGUE MVP
Francisco Rodriguez, Anaheim Angels-Talk about using an upcoming free agency in the off season and turning it into a jackpot. K-Rod broke Bobby Thigpen's save record of 57, actually he destroyed it, by recording 62 saves as he helped lead the Angels to the best record in baseball by shutting out opponent's bats in the ninth. Normally I'm not a fan of picking any pitcher especially a reliever for a MVP award but Rodriguez stands out on the Angels because without him the Angels wouldn't be nearly as formidable as they are right now. Plus he broke a significant MLB record and nobody else in the league can say that. Dustin Pedroia would be might second place vote for playing an unbelievable second base despite being 5 foot 2.

NATIONAL LEAGUE MVP
Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals-Granted the Cardinals didn't make the playoffs but it shouldn't matter as Pujols again put up another monster season and deserves the award. He had more extra base hits than strikeouts and was the main reason why the Cardinals were in the Wild Card hunt till mid September. He is a pitcher's nightmare and he is top 4 in almost every important hitter's stat including batting average (.357, second only to Chipper), RBI's (116, 4th despite missing a month of the season and with a lineup with weak leadoff hitters), on base percentage (.462, second only to Chipper), 1st in OPS and slugging percentage and intentional walks. He is the modern day Babe Ruth and although I have my suspicions of illegal ways of acquiring these stats he has never been caught or had any legal cloud over him. Manny Ramirez deserves second place for destroying NL pitching and getting the Dodgers to the playoffs.

AMERICAN LEAGUE CY YOUNG
Cliff Lee, Cleveland Indians-Lee went 22-3 and led the league in wins, ERA, and win percentage despite playing on a team that finished .500 on the season. I gave K-Rod the MVP so I wanted to spread out the love and give Lee the Cy Young for best season from an American League starter.

NATIONAL LEAGUE CY YOUNG
Tim Lincecum, San Francisco Giants-He might have the best name for a ballplayer in San Francisco with his last name having porno written all over it. That alone should get him the Cy Young. Kidding aside Lincecum was first in the league in strikeouts and win percentage despite playing on an awful Giants team which blew 5 of his games late which would have made him an easy 20 game winner. He finished second in the league in wins and ERA despite being only 24 years old and only in his second season in the majors.

AMERICAN LEAGUE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
Evan Longoria, Tampa Bay Rays-The rookie third basemen helped the Rays win the American League East division despite not even making the ballclub out of spring training and missing 30 games with a broken wrist. He led all AL rookies in RBI's, total bases and extra base hits. He has drawn comparisons to Chipper Jones, Mike Schmidt, and Scott Rolen for his play all season at third despite only being 22 years old.

NATIONAL LEAGUE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
Geovany Soto, Chicago Cubs-Like Longoria he helped lead a perennial loser in the Chicago Cubs to a division championship while manning the most difficult position in all of baseball at catcher. The kid raked all season and held together a pitching staff which is always difficult for a rookie. He also hit the most homeruns for a rookie catcher since Mike Piazza.

MANAGERS OF THE YEAR
AL-Joe Maddon of the Tampa Bay Rays got them to the playoffs and won the AL East division pretty handily despite having a payroll the fraction of the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees.

NL-Lou Piniella of the Chicago Cubs got them to the playoffs and are probably the favorite to win the National League thanks to his bat shit crazy persona.

Feel free to argue your case for another guy in the comment sections if you disagree with my picks.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: WHAT I WILL BE WATCHING AND PREDICTIONS

Noon: Maryland at Clemson-Last year the Tigers got 100 plus rushing yard performances from their Thunder and Lightning combo and easily handled the Terps. This year the Tigers are preparing Tommy Bowden for another year of not competing for the ACC Championship. I'm taking the Terps in the upset...31-28

12:30: Ole Miss at Florida-The Gators survived the Rebels last year behind a brilliant performance from Tim Tebow in the Grove. I expect the Gators to win this game but that 22 point spread looks a little too large and I think Jevan Snead and Ole Miss can hang with a soft Gator's defense. Florida wins 38-24

3:30: Turdue at Notre Dame-The Fighting Irish better be ready to "Crank Me Up!" and come out of the tunnel ready to destroy the Wilford Brimleys. A beautiful day awaits in South Bend today as the Irish beat up on their redheaded stepson as Jimmy Clausen finally chopped his Thuderlips-look away and is ready to lead the good guys to victory. ND wins 27-20

3:30: Tennessee at Auburn-The Vols were my pick as a sleeper in the SEC but so far they have been sleeping ever since they traveled to LA. Auburn still has the team to compete for a SEC Title and I think they prove it today by winning another competitive SEC battle. Auburn wins 20-13

7:00: TCU at Oklahoma-For some reason I have a feeling we could be in for an upset. TCU has the nation's top rated defense and are huge underdogs in this game. They know they can beat the Sooners like when they bottled up Adrian Peterson and won in Norman in 2006. No other visitor has won since, a streak of 19 straight Sooner home victories. TCU with the shocker...26-23

7:45: Alabama at Georgia-The game of the weekend matches two undefeated, top 10 teams in Athens. The Crimson Tide have been cruising so far as they have dominated the line of scrimmage in every game so far. Georgia is playing the nation's toughest schedule and Mark Richt has an ability to get the Dawgs focused and ready for big time games. This is a huge game as College Gameday finally comes back to Athens and isn't disappointed. Georgia goes back to #1 after this battle. Georgia wins 35-21

The beers of choice today are NewCastle Brown Ale and Sam Adam's Cherry Wheat.

TROJANS STILL GETTING SCREWED BY THE BEAVERS

You thought it ended last night after the Beavers of Oregon State ripped apart the leaky Trojan's defense but no my friend...it was just a precursor of things to come the rest of the evening....


May God have mercy on any pollster's soul if they keep USC in their top 10. They lost to a team who was 1-2, unranked and got blown to pieces by Penn State and lost to Stanford. There are no excuses for this paper champion which USC has become in the media's black eye.

GO BEAVERS! FUSC!

We are due for some upsets in college football, so why not tonight?

HAHAHAHAHA....BEAVERS POUND THE TROJANS! 27-21

Have fun in Corvalis tonight Beavermeisters!!!



SHIRT AVAILABLE HERE!

HAND OF GLUE

The Sporting Blog has this video of a wide receiver from Morgan State making an insane catch against Winston-Salem State last Saturday. I'm still not sure how he could manage to grab the football so well unless he has hands the size of Shaquille O'neal or was using some serious stick em or pine tar on his gloves. Either way it's a hell of a play and one that I hope to see out of WR's Michael Floyd and A.J. Green this weekend. And I say that because I have a lot of $$ riding on it. Get it done freshmen. I would really love to keep my other pinkie toe for at least another week if you catch my drift.

BEST BEER COMMERCIAL EVER

Big ass HT to best bud Andrew for sending me this video. I will never think of Guinness the same way again. In fact just seeing someone drink a cold, soothing Guinness might get me all hot and bothered from now on. Just a warning but I might start mimicking my black lab Soco and start hip thrusting when ever I see something I like.

INTERESTING LICENSE PLATE

FanIQ has the picture of this Washington Redskins fan displaying his love and admiration for Mr. Jessica Simpson in Dallas. I got to say it gets the message across about his true feelings. But it made me wonder... what if sports celebrities could pick whatever they wanted to say on their license plates and not worry about people judging them? I think some of them would look like this...

Pete Carroll: ILUV HUKERSPIT
O.J. Simpson: I DID IT
Allen Iverson: PRACTICE?
Tom Brady: MANGINA
Randy Moss: WEED
Brett Favre: INT
Knowshon Moreno: SPECIALK
Tim Tebow: TEBLOWS
Urban Meyer: URBANLYER
Charlie Weis: FUSC
Jimmy Clausen: THUNDERLIPS
Nick Saban: RESUME

Feel free to post your license plate suggestions for sports figures below.

PHIL FULMER IS NO LONGER WELCOMED IN KNOXVILLE

LoserswithSocks has this great picture of the Rock that sits on the University of Tennessee campus right next to the athletic center where all the football players study. This should do wonders for their recruiting...

Fulmer: "Son, we would love to have you here to enjoy our redneck anthem and our beautiful women while you play in front of 100,000 plus of the best fans in the world."

Recruit: "Sounds great Fat Phil, can I please have a bite of my sandwich now?"

Fulmer: "Oh yeah, sorry, I get hungry when I recruit. Actually I get hungry when I breathe. Let me show you our Athletic Center and our lovely rock of unification!"

Recruit: "Oh, you talking about that one over there?"

Fulmer: "Motherfucker! Best fans my ass!"

LOOKING TO BUY YOUR FAVORITE COLLEGE OR PRO TEAM HELMET?

If you are in the market to buy your favorite College or NFL football helmet whether it is authentic, replica or mini let me know. I can give you basically wholesale prices on the football helmets and remember that no true tailgate or football party is complete without at least a display of your favorite team's football helmet...and at least 4 cases of light beer to go along with it.

I will be launching a website soon selling football helmets that range from the early 1950's to the present. So whether you are looking for the specific helmet that Herschel Walker wore during his freshman season at Georgia or looking for the latest proline authentic helmet that the Notre Dame football players wear when coming out of the tunnel you won't be disappointed.

I will beat anybody's advertised prices.

For instance if you want to buy an authentic Joe Namath Alabama Crimson Tide helmet that retails for as much as $200 in some places I can get it for you at $140 total with free shipping.


Whether it be pro or college I can get them all. Most mini helmets sell for anywhere from $25-30 online or at retail locations but I can get them to you for $20.

Feel free to email me at matt@sportscrack.com if you need a quote on a helmet you are looking for. I will do my best to get them to you in a timely manner at a fraction of the price you would pay elsewhere.

For instance this Notre Dame authentic helmet retails for as much as $320 in some places but I can sell it to you for as little as $160. All you have to do is email me at matt@sportscrack.com and tell me which specific college or NFL helmet you are looking for and I will get it to you for basically wholesale pricing.

MITCH MUSTAIN NOW #4 ON USC QB DEPTH CHART

If you want to know just how embarrassingly good the talent is on the USC football field just take a look at the revised QB and RB depth chart. QB Garrett Green was just promoted to #2 QB behind Mark Sanchez for the Thursday night battle against Oregon State.

This means Aaron Corp is now 3rd string and 5 star prospect/Arkansas transfer Mitch Mustain now sits at the bottom of the totem pole at 4th string. I can't recall a situation where a 5 star QB who started 8-0 his true freshman season while playing in the SEC conference is now collecting the most splinters while riding the pine as the last possible guy to replace Sanchez. And to think that Mustain's mother couldn't wait to get her son out of Arkansas during his freshman season because her son wasn't starting at the end of the year. You have to wonder what Mustain thinks now as he stands and holds a clipboard knowing that Sanchez still has another year of eligibility after this season if he doesn't go pro and #1 incoming recruit Matt Barkley ready to join the Trojans in the spring to battle for snaps behind the center.

At running back 5 star prospect Marc Tyler can't even make the travel squad to Oregon State as a redshirt freshman. It is true Tyler had a horrific leg injury during his senior year in high school that required him to redshirt and rehab during his freshman season but he appears to be on the mend and ready to go and yet he still can't sniff a chance at carrying the rock. The same goes with Broderick Green, a 4 star prospect and highly regarded back from Arkansas. He can't even make the travel squad for the Oregon State game.

It is almost sickening how much talent and depth the Trojans carry into every game and yet they managed to lose to Stanford last season at home while the Cardinal had their 3rd string QB playing. Now that is funny and another reason why the media and fans need to stop thinking the Trojans are just going to walk through their schedule and play for the BCS Championship. I fell for it last year thinking they might be the best team ever with all their elite senior talent and depth on both sides of the ball and yet they lost two PAC-10 games and barely squeezed into the Rose Bowl.

In other words FUSC and all their riches of football talent and beaches and pretty California girls with their perfect bodies and tans. They can be beat....by themselves.

The FUSC shirt is available here. Wear it with pride and get it now before Mitch Mustain's mommy buys them all.