HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND FOLKS!

Since I've somehow managed to go the whole week without mentioning the SEC Championship even though it's the biggest game of the year in college football and it's right down the street from my house I feel the need to give a prediction.

The Florida Gators as you probably know come in extremely hot having ripped off blowout after blowout since the tough loss at home to Ole Miss. The X factor in this game for the Gators is Percy Harvin. Will he play is the question? He has a nagging ankle which could either prevent him from playing or limit his Madden-like moves and acceleration(not likely because he is Superhuman as is Tim Tebow). The Gators are 10 point favorites despite playing an Alabama team which has the better defense.

Defense usually wins championships and with big boy Terrance Cody on the line Bama has been able to control the line of scrimmage. Vegas seems to think it will be a blowout but I don't see it that way. Bama can play tough, hard nosed football and will look to control the clock and the line of scrimmage. They have already dominated one top ten team in the Georgia Dome with Clemson at the beginning of the season. Granted Clemson wound up with Dabo Swinney at the end of the year as their head coach. Now that I think about it Alabama has basically been an integral part of 4 head coaches losing their jobs so far. First Tommy Bowden. After that is was Phil Fulmer. Then Sylvester Croom. And finally last week they somehow managed Auburn into thinking Tommy Tuberville wasn't right for them. Auburn officials are morons by the way. So could this be the last game we see Urban Meyer at Florida with an upset in the making? (My ND heart and soul hope so)

NOPE. Florida wins a close one(so take Bama with the points) to advance to the BCS Title game to face the Oklahoma Sooners who will dismantle Mizzou. Remember people, Tebow always gets what he wants...

THE JUICE WAS FINALLY SQUEEZED...

For at least the next 9 years of his aging life O.J. Simpson, USC Trojans hero, will spend time in jail giving his best Heisman Trophy stiff arm to many sexual predators who will in turn admire his starfish. O.J., the esteemed wife beater and murderer, finally got caught and in a classic way got the key thrown away by stealing his own shit. It was good knowing you Nordberg but unfortunately your time has come to leave this place called society...


In light of the Juice going to the can so to speak we are going to lower the cost of our O.J. SHIRT TO $10. It only seems right to honor the fallen USC TROJAN hero who no doubt was inspiration for the future Reggie Bush's and Todd Marinovich's of the cardinal and gold. You surely won't be missed Simpson.

DREADLOCK TAC-KLE!

Rutger's Jordan Brooks might want to get those dreadlocks cut off. Honestly I don't know why more football players don't make these kind of tackles. Isn't the dreadlocks considered part of the uniform nowadays so it's not a penalty if you grab them?

I once had dreadlocks but then I decided I needed to clean it up because of the excessive dingleberrys.

With Rutgers beating the shit out of Louisville last night it pretty much secured a bowl game for Notre Dame in the lovely Texas Bowl against the Rice Owls. Can't wait to watch that on the NFL Network! And yes, I am scared of Rice.

MLB HOT STOVE THOUGHTS

-The recent trade between the Atlanta Braves and Chicago White Sox has me confused. So the Braves are willing to give up top notch prospects for Javier Vasquez but not Jake Peavy? Vasquez is 33 years old and is on the way down the spiral staircase of his career. He was 12-16 with a 4.67 ERA last season for a pretty good White Sox club. White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, crazy asshole that he is, stated that Vasquez was simply not a big game pitcher. The Braves need to figure out a plan and stick with it. Trading Tyler Flowers (a catcher who was going to be blocked by Brian McCann but could play first or third) was stupid. You could have gotten more for Flowers. He hit 12 homeruns in 20 games in the Arizona Fall League. He is coming into his own and is young. Vasquez is neither. Now apparently the Braves are willing to offer A.J. Burnett a 5 year contract. Burnett is a really good pitcher but the guy has proven he can't pitch a whole season(with the exception of last year). Getting rid of Mike Hampton was smart but acquiring too high priced question marks in Vasquez and Burnett is neither logical nor frugal. Braves GM Frank Wren is way over his head. Either stick with the youth you have coming up in the next few seasons or go all out. None of this nitpicking shit.

-The St. Louis Cardinals acquired SS Khalil Greene for two relief pitchers according to various reports that I am too lazy to link to right now. If this is true then this is a great buy low trade for the Cardinals. Greene was awful last year for the Padres with the bat but his glove is gold and in 2007 he hit 27 homeruns along with 44 doubles at the cavernous PetCo Park. Getting out of San Diego is just what he needed and I think he will have a good season in St. Louis. He is a free agent after the 2009 season so if he has a really good year he could earn Type A or B status and if the Cardinals lose him they still gain a draft pick. Solid trade for the Cardinals here without much risk. These are the type of trades I wish the Orioles would make. They need a shortstop more than any other MLB club but were not willing to give up young lefty Garrett Olson for Greene. It could come back to bite them in the ass as I doubt Olson will ever have much success in the bigs and Greene would mash at Camden Yards.

-The Giants are close to signing SS Edgar Renteria to a 2 year deal reportedly worth $18.5 million. Curious move here for the Giants. They have a young shortstop in Emmanuel Burriss who looks like he can play. In 95 games last year he held his own during his rookie year and managed a .357 on base percentage. Renteria is of course a former All-Star and could be a great addition. The guy can still play and he needed to get out of Detroit. It could become interesting to see what the Giants do with Burriss now. Trade bait for the Orioles?

-The Red Sox gave AL MVP(haha) Dustin Pedrioa a 6 year, $40.5 million dollar contract extension. Good move by the Red Sox. Pedrioa is still young and will be productive for at least the next 3-4 years and you got him signed to below market value in terms of value.

-Still no movement or much talks in regards to the big free agents. You have to wonder how these players are going to get huge contracts when the economy is doing so bad right now. I know a lot of people talk that it shouldn't effect baseball salaries but honestly how could it not? Less people will be attending the games because they simply can't afford it. This has to drive down salaries. Plus more companies are cutting down advertising budgets and one of the first to go will be ballpark and television ad campaigns. Of course none of this matters to the agents. Agents like Scott Boras will still insist the game has never been stronger in terms of revenue and the ballplayers he represent are better than Babe Ruth and Walter Johnson combined. It's true, he has the 300 page book to prove it statistically.

I'm interested in knowing what you guys think about the transactions so far in the slow Hot Stove season. It should heat up next week as the GM Winter Meetings will be held so hopefully there is more news and substantial rumors to be reported. As always if you are looking for the most up to date news on MLB trades and rumors go to Tim Dierkes MLBTRADERUMORS.COM site. It's better than any site out there including ESPN or SI and it's completely free.

BODE MILLER STILL GETTING WORK

You know after the winter Olympics are over we usually don't hear about the "athletes" unless they get caught soliciting a prostitute or holding up a liquor store. It's good to see US skier Bode Miller getting back to his training regimen using some new tactics such as boxing. You know boxing is great for cardio. Also the masseuses are must for any professional athlete.

And Vagisil is awesome for feminine itching. After all "When you're thinking feminine itch, you're thinking Bode Miller."

LANE KIFFIN'S WIFE LAYLA IS A PILF

Our esteemed colleague over at HotSECPoon wonders if Layla Kiffin is Poon worthy. Even at 8 1/2 months pregnant I would say the best thing Tennessee got out of the hire of Lane Kiffin was the wife Layla. Sure Lane could recruit with the best of them at USC but he will have one hell of a job in the SEC conference competing to get kids up in Knoxville. It ain't no Hollywood. Anyways, check out the video linked below to see how uncomfortable Lane looks when they want to get a picture of his pregnant wife. It's almost like he wants to kill the leering guy who suggests it. More than likely it's the Athletic Director. Check it out and tell me what you think...
Blinkx Video: Meet Layla Kiffin, Lane Kiffin's Wife


Poon worthy?

HT: HOTSECPOON

MY REACTION TO CHARLIE WEIS COMING BACK

You know, I could write a novel on my thoughts about this whole "schematic advantage" and the "no excuses" and the "6-6 is just not good enough" comments Charlie Weis made in the past and then completed the order with a delivery of bullshit blowout losses on the side. But I'm not going to do it. It just makes me more mad and the wife and dogs are already getting tired of my constant twitch and cursing at random strangers whenever they smile in delight because I still wear my Notre Dame gear out in public.

Hey, I'm a fan till I die and my loyalty stays strong with my teams. So yesterday when I heard word that Charlie Weis was going to be brought back after compiling the most losses in Notre Dame history in back-to-back seasons with 15 I started to feel a little sick. Maybe they were just buying time for the right coach to be available(Urban Meyer, Urban Meyer, please let it be Urban Meyer!) or saving money for the ludicrous buyout it would have taken to fire him (I thought ND was a good business school?) after giving him a ten year extension during his first fucking season but...oh shit...not feeling well...must stop talking about it....


Why didn't anybody tell me...(throws up more)...that Charlie Weis was full of shit?

Please, no more, please, I want to live!

NHL SUSPENDS SEAN AVERY FOR SLOPPY SECONDS COMMENT

"I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about. Enjoy the game tonight."

Sean Avery of the Dallas Stars made this wonderful comment in regards to Calgary Flames Dion Phaneuf dating Avery's ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert. The NHL and Gary Bettman went down on Avery yesterday much like Cuthbert used to and suspended him indefinitely for those comments.

Can't a guy speak his mind?

Those Canadians aren't as liberal as I thought they were. Hey, I know, Avery is a dickhead for making those statements to the press but damn, you have to admit it was a pretty good burn on his part. I would have made the same comments about my ex-girlfriends but luckily they have never figured out how to get out of the well. My love never dies ladies.



Now that is entertainment. Sean Avery is going to bring back the NHL game to the mainstream masses with his mouth and Gary Bettman is an idiot for suspending him for the comment. Let the players settle it on the ice. It's hockey Bettman, not some pussy sport like golf or soccer.


Bettman is just jealous of Avery's sloppy seconds...



HT: Deadspin

JON STEWART ON THE PLAXICO BURRESS SITUATION

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jon Stewart Touches Kids - Plaxico Burress

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

I actually had no idea Plax was wearing sweatpants when the incident occurred. This just makes the story even more hysterical. Seriously, who wears sweatpants anymore except for people with big asses?

MY THOUGHTS ON THE HALL OF FAME BALLOT

In case you were wondering when the 2009 Baseball Hall of Fame ballot was going to come out it actually came out yesterday. I know, temper your excitement and delight at the names I am about to mention because none of them deserve to be in the Hall of Fame except for one guy: Rickey Henderson.

When Rickey be Rickey is elected he will be the first left fielder to enter the Hall since 1989. Carl Yazstremski went in that year and one of his old Boston Red Sox teammates in Jim Rice is hoping to get in this ballot after just missing the election by a slim margin of 16 votes last year. You are required to get 75% of the votes and Rice has been on the ballot for what seems like an eternity. Which is exactly why he doesn't deserve to be elected. If you couldn't get in within your first 3-5 times on the ballot I don't think you should get in at all. You simply are not a Hall of Famer. It's not for the good players. It's for the great players and in my opinion Jim Rice was never a great player, just a very good one who just happened to play for the Red Sox.

Other guys who will appear on the ballot and my thoughts:

Mark McGwire-Hit a ton of home runs but is a disgrace to the game. He should never get in and the fact that he won't admit his steroid use further indicts his guilt and undeserving recognition as a great in the game. A great home run hitter but nothing more.

Harold Baines-Baines was a DH and a very good one most notably for the Chicago White Sox but he was never a perennial All-Star. I've always like Baines as a player but he was never the superstar in any lineup so he simply isn't a Hall of Famer.

Bert Blyleven-Another really good pitcher who had a solid career and won a ton of games but just couldn't reach the magical 300 career win mark which would seal his approval. It sucks for him but like Jim Rice he has been on the ballot for ages now and there is no reason to put him in now.

Andre Dawson-Dawson was a superstar player in my mind when I was a kid so I have a really tough argument against him not being in the Hall. He was basically the Vlad Guerrero of the 1980's and early 90's. Montreal totally fucked his knees in what could have been an easy Hall of Fame career but his career stats don't get him in. It's too bad because "The Hawk" was one hell of a player.

Tommy John-He was a Yankee right? Oh yeah, never mind, he doesn't deserve it. Jokes aside Tommy John should have his ligament in Cooperstown and nothing else. Just a shriveled up ligament in a formaldehyde jar with the saying "This ligament saved many careers and made billions of dollars for future pitchers in MLB history." That right there is better than some plaque. I've heard John Kruk has petitioned to get one of his nuts in there so why not John's ligament?

Don Mattingly-Donnie baseball was an absolute stud in the mid to late 80's for the Yankees but his career disappeared faster than a plate of meatballs in front of Charlie Weis. A great player for a limited amount of time, Mattingly could have easily been a Hall of Famer but his peak was too short. The definition of a very good player but not great.

Jack Morris-I will never forget this cockbag's performance against the Braves in game 7 of the 1991 World Series. He out dueled future Hall of Famer John Smoltz to win the World Series with a brilliant 10 inning pitching performance. I find solidarity and comfort knowing Smoltz will soon have his plaque in the Hall and Morris will get to look at it as a spectator for the remainder of his life as an outsider. Sorry, I'm still a little bitter about that World Series. F you Lonnie Smith. Oh yeah, not a Hall of Famer. Very good, never great except for that one game.

Dale Murphy-Besides Cal Ripken old Murph was one of my idols growing up in baseball. A two time MVP winner and Rookie of the Year, Murph had a cannon for an arm and one hell of a home run stroke. He just missed the 400 home run mark in his career when he quickly faded with the Phillies and then the Rockies after leaving the Braves. A Hall of Fame person by every means with his community work but not a Hall of Fame player in between the lines. It doesn't matter, Murph will always hold a special place in between my spokes of my old BMX bike.

Dave Parker-Not even worth discussing. Good player but never close to even having a great year let alone a great career.

Tim Raines-Rock was one of the most underrated players of his generation. One of the all-time great stolen base guys, his career was unrecognized because the majority of his great seasons came in the bleak unpopulated caverns of Montreal's Olympic Stadium. He was also under the shadow of Rickey Henderson. Both were the same type of players but Rickey is a baseball great and Raines was always a step below him. Very good player but not a Hall of Fame player. Great nickname though. Cocaine if one hell of a drug.

Lee Smith-If Goose fucking Goosage is a Hall of Famer then Lee Smith is definitely one. But the problem is I don't think Goosage is worthy of being in the Hall. Smith retired the all-time saves leader and should probably be in with this accomplishment on his resume. I have no problem with Lee Smith in the Hall of Fame to be honest with you.

Alan Trammell-A good shortstop for a number of seasons much like Nomar was but he will never get in. Sorry Alan! You and Lou Whitaker were an awesome double play combo but not worthy of Cooperstown recognition.

Ron Gant-The guy had guns and was a consistent 30-30 player but is nowhere near being a HOFer in my mind.

David Cone-Coney was a hell of a pitcher for the Mets and Blue Jays back in the day. If he would have had about 3-4 more solid seasons he would be in Cooperstown no doubt.

Mark Grace-The inventor of the slump buster story where you go out and nail the fatest thing breathing will always hold a special place in my heart but he really doesn't even deserve mention as a HOFer. His slump buster story on the other hand should be taught to minor leaguers and rookies for generations to come.
MARK GRACE WOULD TEAR THIS UP AND THEN RIP A DOUBLE


Greg Vaughn and Mo Vaughn-Both of these cousins could hit the shit out of the ball and enjoyed solid careers and made a lot of money. For some reason I just envision these guys not really caring about making the Hall and rather worrying where they are going to score their next 8 ball. Maybe that is just me though.

Matt Williams-Matty was a great third baseman there for a bit but even he admitted to using some performance enhancers which would be fine if it was for his receding hairline but not his game.

So there you go, just some of the names on the ballot this year. Rickey Henderson is a sure fire first ballot Hall of Famer. It's a shame nobody has ever gone unanimously. It's actually a crock of shit. Henderson could be one of those players who deserves all the votes but he won't get it. He was the greatest leadoff hitter of all-time. He was also the greatest stolen base king of all-time and also has scored the most runs of anybody in baseball history. He is second all-time in walks behind the fraud Barry Bonds and was named the 1990 MVP on top of being a 10-time All-Star selection. No questions asked Rickey should get in easily.

The only other person I might make an argument getting in is Lee Smith. When he retired he led all major leaguers in saves but has now been passed over by Trevor Hoffman and Mariano Rivera who are both HOF worthy themselves. I think Peter Gammons is going to whip out his chowder log and start wacking away trying to make a case for Jim Rice but please don't listen to him. If it were up to him then every single Yankees or Red Sox player who hit near .300 or played in a postseason would be in the Hall.

I'm interested in knowing what you guys and gals think? Did I leave somebody out that should get in?

NOTRE DAME COACHING HAS BEEN LIKE DRINKING PISS FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS

I've heard Urban Meyer pees crystal clear Evian and makes the world a happier place. Just saying!

HOW TEXAS LONGHORNS FEEL TODAY

You know it sucks balls to not only beat your arch rival Oklahoma on a neutral field by 10 points but then you get passed over in the BCS rankings on the last week even though you had the same record thus preventing a shot at the Big 12 Championship and possibly a shot at the BCS Title game. I tried to find some video of Longhorn's fans freaking out, raping and pillaging but then I realized they are not from Detroit. So instead I present this video to display the sense of how every person who wears the burnt orange with pride and flashes the "Hook 'EM" hand signal as often I sport the shocker. Or it actually might be the word I use when if in fact Charlie Weis is retained for another year....

The F word describes pain, pleasure, hate or love. Yep, that pretty much sums it up for Texas fans today. At least all the BCS apologists can sleep better now knowing that the BCS keeps the sanctity of the regular season intact where every game means something. Oh yeah, nevermind, Texas beat Oklahoma. My bad.

WES WALKER WOULD LIKE HIS HEAD BACK

HEISMAN MOMENT?

Sam Bradford played one hell of a game last night in leading Oklahoma to a 61-41 victory over rival Oklahoma State. With this flip/somersault effort to get into the end zone I wonder if he just had the clinching Heisman Trophy moment especially if Oklahoma gets into the Big 12 Title game?

HOCKEY FIGHT OF THE YEAR?

Derek Dorsett of the Columbus Blue Jackets went fist to fist with Daniel Carcillo of the Phoenix Coyotes two nights ago in what might have been one of the best fights in the NHL in a long time. Carcillo starts off with a flurry of jabs that would stagger most fighters but then Dorsett comes back unfazed to land some damaging jabs himself. Back and forth the fighting and punching goes with back of the head shots a norm and I love the fact that the stripes didn't get in the way and let the two players duke it out till they collapsed down on the ice. I bet some of these fights were the norm this morning at 5 am across America with mothers and fathers grappling for the last Rock Band video game.

Video HT: AOL Fanhaus

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!

I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving Day to all the loyal Sportscrack heads out there and hope everybody has a great holiday with their family and friends. As a sports fan I don't have a lot to be thankful since all of my favorite teams have struggled mightily the past decade but I am thankful to all the people who come to this blog and read about my daily shenanigans and who decide to support my fix by buying a shirt here and there. Eat a lot of turkey and ham, drink the drink, and stuff yourself till you have to loosen up your belt. And be safe out there.

And to anyone who still thinks the BCS works and doesn't want a playoff because it would ruin the regular season and the bowls, well, I hope you have a great last Thanksgiving you communist turkey.

KOBE IMPOSES HIS WILL ON FRESH MEAT

Just like that girl in Colorado, poor rookie Brook Lopez had no idea what was coming especially when Kobe is intent on sticking it in as fast and furious as possible.

Video HT: FanIQ

RANDOM JOKE

A woman goes to her boyfriends’ parent’s house for dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making tears come to her eyes and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn’t loud but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman’s feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy".

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!’

Once again the woman smiled and thought, "Yes".
A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn’t ever think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"


Joke HT: John Fox

FUSC SHIRTS JUST $8

The always classic FUSC t-shirt is on sale for only $8 for the next 24 hours and if you order it soon you should get it within gametime. The shirt is available to order here

Also all the Crank Me Up! shirts are on sale for only $5.

As an added bonus to buy as many Sportscrack Tees and Merchandise as you can I will give away an autographed Brady Quinn Notre Dame mini helmet(a $120 value) FOR FREE to the first TWO PEOPLE who purchases over $250 worth of Sportscrack or Drink Like a Champion Today stuff and I will refund all shipping costs that you pay.

MICHIGAN AT 3-9 IS THIS GOOD

I feel terrible not mentioning the incredible failure that is Michigan Wolverines football right now. I have been so caught up in Notre Dame's own lack of heart and desire to compete that I forgot to mention the 42-7 shellacking the Wolverines took from their big brother in Ohio State this past Saturday in Columbus. It was an embarrassing game for DickRod and the Wolverines faithful. It was great to see and now the Buckeyes have taken 5 straight in the series with only more beatdowns to come. Watching it all slowly happen was good, real good, but I'm so sure if it was this good...