THIS SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL IS A LITTLE SUGGESTIVE
Don't ya think?....
"Mommy, why are those balloons wrestling?"
Friday, January 30, 2009
WOMEN DRIVERS
Listen, I'm not going to go in a long rant about some female drivers because at the end of the rant I will look like a sexist, racist-like Ashton Kutcher bitching about his neighbors construction.
So instead I will let the video do the talking:
I literally laughed so hard when the lady flipped her car I started choking and coughing. Great stuff.
Video HT: Elizabeth
MANTI TE'O WILL BE IRISH
Notre Dame has a recent history of being burned pretty badly when it comes to football recruits making their college decision come signing day. I could go through the list but it just brings up bad memories of what if's and why not's. Charlie Weis and his staff have put in an all out effort to recruit Hawaii LB Manti Te'o who could conceviably step in and start right away for programs such as ND and USC. Te'o is a devout Mormon who surprisingly eliminated BYU last week and will now make his decision between ND, USC, and UCLA. Weis has personally visited Te'o for in-home visit a few weeks ago and this week defensive coordinator Corwin Brown and Brian Polian also made the long flight to Te'o's home to review the benefits of choosing Notre Dame.
The Fighting Irish even played in front of Te'o during the Hawaii Bowl and put on quite a show and apparently the word is that Te'o is interested in going on his own path and trying new things. In a perfect USC world Te'o would no doubt be theirs to have. They call him Baby Seau and he reminds people a lot of LB Rey Maualuga who will be a top 15 draft pick in this April's NFL draft. But I have a good feeling that Notre Dame will land the five star linebacker even after he takes his last official visit to USC this weekend.
At USC he would become just another linebacker but at Notre Dame he would become a legend if he lives up to his prep hype. Notre Dame has not had a dominant All-American linebacker since Michael Stonebreaker was getting in fights with Hurricanes. Don't even bring up Courtney Watson or Kory Minor's name. Yes, they were good. But not great. And Te'o has the ability and the attitude to be a great one. The fact that Notre Dame is still in the running for Te'o speaks volumes in the staff's recruiting ability. Te'o has made one official visit to Notre Dame and can you guess the game?
Syracuse. They lost to a fucking horrible Syracuse team in a game full of snow and bad weather and it was Te'o first experience in the snow. It was also his only experience to see the Notre Dame campus and take it in. Growing up in Hawaii the chances of you seeing snow are about the same as Charlie drinking a Diet Coke and losing to stinking Syracuse. So the fact that they still remain in contention only goes to show you how good the staff is at selling Notre Dame.
And that is why I think Notre Dame will get Te'o signature next Wednesday. Weis has gone above and beyond in his recruitment while nursing two torn knees. You can't tell me that doesn't factor in a recruit's mind when he sees a hurting, gimpy coach flying thousands of miles with two bum knees just so he can sell him on the Fighting Irish.
Te'o will be Irish. Mark it down.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
SUPER BOWL 43 ODDS FROM CARL
God have I missed Carl. The man basically got me through the NFL season last year with his upper arm hair and his dry witty humor. Carl for Aqua Force Teen Hunger whatever the fuck you want to call it should have his own show. Primetime on Fox. Right before American Idol. Let's make this happen.
Odds of it happening: 0.
Odds of Matt Leinart passing out drunk and wetting his pants at a Saturday night party before the big game: 50/50
Odds that I have done the same exact thing as Leinart: 100
Via WithLeather via AdultSwim
ARIZONA CARDINALS VS PITTSBURGH STEELERS BODY PAINT
Forget Super Bowl 43, the real winner is the guy who got to videotape these two ladies body painting themselves. So who would you pick to win after watching this video? Personally I would go Steelers but the Cardinals make a hell of a case. The guy behind the camera sounds like the guy at the mall who comes up to talk to you, acts all friendly, tries to make conversation and then hits you up with the "So have you found Jesus Christ in your life?"
Video HT: FanDome
SIDNEY CROSBY'S BACKHANDED GOAL
They don't get much prettier than this...
I haven't been talking much hockey this year because my Atlanta Thrashers are one of the worst teams in the NHL. Not just on the ice but off it. They should have fired GM Don Waddell years ago but somehow he still has a job even though the franchise has yet to win a single playoff game since he started the first roster from scratch back in 1999. He is a joke and should have been pushed out of the city as fast as Michael Vick was last year. But rant aside this is a nasty goal by Sidney Crosby past Lundquist of the Rangers. If Crosby was a Thrasher he would have been traded for Marian Hossa. Fuck!
A SIGN THAT BASEBALL IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
Touch it to enlarge it. Tell me you haven't heard that before.
This picture was taken right outside of the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis. I think they are ready for some baseball. I'm getting in the spirit too as the Orioles and Braves have both made some good offseason moves recently and should be fun to watch at least for the first half of the season.
Picture HT: Deadspin
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
NO PANTS 2009 NEW YORK CITY
Make it no panties and I might have an outside shot of going back to New York City someday. Key words: no panties.
BRANDON ROY DUNK
Talk about some mad elevation. He must have Jesus Christ on his side like Kurt Warner.
Monday, January 26, 2009
TALK ABOUT DISRESPECT: CHASE BUDINGER'S FACE
Houston's Aubrey Coleman is apparently not a big fan of Arizona's Chase Budinger as the video above clearly demonstrates. I've done my fair share of fucked up things in my life but I'm proud to admit I have never stepped on somebody's face intentionally. In fact it's never even crossed my mind. But if I was Budinger's face you can guarantee that Coleman would be leaving that court with some bruises at the least. Houston was up by 12 points at the time of Coleman's ejection in the second half. Arizona came back to win in overtime. Coleman should be suspended for the rest of the season.
Seeing this replay brought back memories of the gapping Duke vagina who went by the name of Christian Laettner stepping on the Kentucky player back in 1992. If you can't recall it then take a look at this video....
See, Laettner was a dick.
Video HT: WithLeather via The Dagger
JOSH SMITH DUNKS OVER STEVE NASH
This is what happens to you when your Canadian hippie ass tries to take a charge from a baller like Josh Smith. Take your socialized medical coverage and shove it.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
MICHAEL JORDAN VS KOBE BRYANT - WHO'S MORE CLUTCH?
You decide who you would want taking the last shot for the win. Personally I would always take Michael Jordan but it's probably because I grew up watching him play and thinking he is the greatest ever to grace a basketball court. But Kobe does make a strong argument in this video.
TOP PREP SAFETY BYRON MOORE WITHDRAWS COMMITMENT TO USC
One of the top prep safeties in the nation withdrew his long staying commitment to USC and appears to be heading to arch rival Notre Dame less than two weeks till signing day according to WeAreSC.com....
"Yeah, I went ahead and decommitted today," said Moore. "I just felt USC wasn't the place I wanted to be and I want to look at some other options out of state. Right now it's pretty much Notre dame and LSU, with Notre Dame in the lead. I'll probably take a trip down to LSU next week.
"I kind of feel like I want to go to school out of state, see something new on my own, go somewhere I will get a good education and have an opportunity to play early."
Moore was asked what Seto's reaction to the news was?
"He was just real surprised and shocked," said Moore. "It was a real hard decision for me and I did it on my own. It was just me and Coach Seto in the room together, and I told him to his face that I felt USC wasn't the place for me, anymore."
Moore informed Coach Brian Polian from Notre Dame and Coach D.J. McCarthy from LSU earlier today that he was no longer committed to USC.
Note: Notre Dame and LSU are also two schools Moore's teammate, Sean Parker, has serious interest in.
Picking up Byron Moore would be absolutely huge for Notre Dame. They currently have a small class of less than 17 commitments that is ranked near 20th by Scout and Rivals and their only secondary defensive players in the class reside in offensive players who would need to switch positions once in South Bend. They lost Marlon Pollard recently to UCLA and it appears that current commitment Nyshier Oliver (currently projected to play WR but in my opinion has college safety written all over him) is suppose to visit Tennessee this weekend where he was previously committed before Phil Fulmer was on the hot seat. And if committed recruits like Oliver are visiting other campuses this late in the process it means 99% of the time they are not committed to signing to their current school of choice.
If Notre Dame can land Byron Moore along Manti Te'o and Jawanza Starling who both appear to be leaning towards Notre Dame at this point it would be tremendous in terms of adding speed and talent to a defense that desperately needs it. With less than two weeks left till signing day the gloves are off and the closers in recruiting will show their true colors. Charlie Weis and his staff's future in Notre Dame could very much depend on what recruits from California, Florida, and Hawaii decide to do on signing day.
MEL KIPER'S MOCK 2009 NFL FIRST ROUND
Stafford and Moreno can't wait to tap the NFL.
Mel Kiper Jr, "draft guru," has his first 2009 NFL mock draft up now over at ESPN.com. Of course you have to have an insider subscription which costs money to see past the first 15 picks which is beyond stupid. Fuck having to pay for somebody's pointless predictions. We all know only about 10% of his predictions will be right. So if you don't have a membership and want to hear my quick thoughts with no research on his pointless predictions well then you came to the right place. I would also love to hear some thoughts from the peanut gallery out there so feel free to comment away on your favorite team and/or player.
1 Detroit Matthew Stafford QB Georgia-Has all the physical skills to be a NFL QB but for the sake of his career I hope the Lions pass on him. But who knows, if Ryan and Flacco can succeed in their first year then why not Stafford?
2 St. Louis Andre Smith OT Alabama-I like this pick a lot for the Rams. Smith is a dominate left tackle and we all know picking Sanchez at this point would be a reach.
3 Kansas City Mark Sanchez QB USC-Dirty Sanchez! Kiper must really like him. Sanchez has the tools and KC needs a QB but this seems to be a huge stretch pick.
4 Seattle Michael Crabtree WR Texas Tech-The history of top 10 WR's taken is not good but Crabtree, like Calvin Johnson a couple of seasons ago, is too unique to pass up.
5 Cleveland Aaron Curry LB Wake Forest-Going to be honest here, I haven't seem much of Curry since Wake Forest football is outlawed on my television. If I'm going to watch shitty Saturday football I can only dedicate my time to Notre Dame.
6 Cincinnati Jason Smith OT Baylor-Again, no clue. Makes sense though that Cincy would take a player I or their fans have no idea about.
7 Oakland Jeremy Maclin WR Missouri-I have a man crush on Maclin so I like the pick. He is my Desean Jackson of this year.
8 Jacksonville Eugene Monroe OT Virginia-Great player who should step in and start right away.
9 Green Bay Malcolm Jenkins CB Ohio St.-The Packers do need corners but I would love to see them take a RB here with Knowshon and team him up with Ryan Grant.
10 San Francisco Aaron Maybin DE/OLB Penn St.-If Sanchez drops this far I think the 49ers will cut ties with Alex Smith and take him. Maybin is a good pick and would start right away.
11 Buffalo Brandon Pettigrew TE Oklahoma St.-Interesting pick here. You don't see tight ends taken this high besides Vernon Davis and that hasn't exactly worked out for the 49ers. I would take Chase Coffman but Pettigrew is apparently more impressive in workouts.
12 Denver B.J. Raji DT Boston College-Raji came out of nowhere this year and just dominated.
13 Washington Brian Orakpo DE Texas-Jason Taylor was a bust of a pickup so yeah, OSackpo would make sense here.
14 New Orleans Vontae Davis CB Illinois-Vernon's brother Vontae had an up and down season but I think he will be a good pro.
15 Houston Everette Brown DE Florida St.-FSU churns out the defensive stars so why not?
16 San Diego Knowshon Moreno RB Georgia-Very interesting pick here by Kiper. Knowshon would essentially push out Tomlinson. Both are very similar backs and I think Knowshon has a step on vagina lips LT.
17 New York Jets Percy Harvin WR Florida-Harvin is so dynamic but just couldn't stay healthy in college. 50/50 on this pick. Healthy Harvin equals great pick. Gimpy Harvin equals awful pick.
18 Chicago Tyson Jackson DE LSU-Jackson is overrated in my opinion. A product of his school.
19 Tampa Bay Josh Freeman QB Kansas St.-Get the fuck out of here! Freeman..seriously Kiper? Excuse me while I pick up my jaw.
20 Detroit (from Dallas) Rey Maualuga LB USC-This guy has future first round bomb all over him. Sure he lays some hits now and then but he also disappears for long periods of time. Why is that? Heart.
21 Philadelphia Chris "Beanie" Wells RB Ohio St.-Beanie would be a hell of a pickup for the Eagles but it looked like they had more pressing needs on their o-line this season.
22 Minnesota Hakeem Nicks WR North Carolina-Lot of WR's taken in the first round, makes you wonder. I like Nicks a lot and he would look good in purple.
23 New England Brian Cushing LB USC-Patriots took Mayo last year in the first round so I doubt they go Cushing here. A cornerback like D.J. Moore would make more sense.
24 Atlanta Larry English DE/OLB No. Illinois-The Falcons have obvious needs of tight end and anybody that can play defense. I have never heard of English. If they can get Chase Coffman later in the 2nd round then defense makes sense here.
25 Miami Darrius Heyward-Bey WR Maryland-They already have Ginn so why would they take Heyward-Bey? I like Heyward-Bey but their is no way Parcells is picking a WR with this pick.
26 Baltimore D.J. Moore CB Vanderbilt-Moore is a shutdown corner and surprisingly the Ravens don't have anymore. Great pick if he falls to them.
27 Indianapolis Peria Jerry DT Mississippi-Colts need a DT badly so this makes sense.
28 Philadelphia (from Carolina) Michael Oher OT Mississippi-Oher would be an absolute steal for the Eagles at this pick. He should be a top ten pick.
29 New York Giants James Laurinaitis LB Ohio St.-Some of the luster has fallen off the Little Animal but if he falls this far you got to think it's a pretty solid pickup for the Giants.
30 Tennessee Michael Johnson DE Georgia Tech-Having seen Johnson play a lot in person I think this would be a tremendous pick by the Titans. His physical attributes are off the charts and he reminds me a lot of Justin Tuck in college.
31 Arizona LeSean McCoy RB Pittsburgh-Makes sense with Edge close to retiring. McCoy could be a beast in the NFL like
Marshall Faulk was for the Rams playing in an offense that features Fitzgerald and Boldin.
32 Pittsburgh Alex Mack C California-Best center in the draft and we could see all season the Steelers need better protection for Ben Roethlisberger.
BRUINS GOALIE TIM THOMAS THINKS HE IS RAY LEWIS
Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas summoned his inner Ray Lewis and took out Toronto Maple Leaf's Jason Blake on a breakaway attempt. Earlier in the game Blake had beaten Thomas for a goal and apparently Thomas figured if he couldn't stop him with his pad why not just take him out like the Ray Lewis does to runningbacks who dare enter his zone.
After seeing this highlight I think Thomas has a future for the Atlanta Falcons. The Falcons if you don't know already have an aging linebacker in Keith Brooking but unlike Ray Lewis he can't tackle and he really can't do shit besides pile jump. In fact he was personally responsible for the Falcons losing their playoff game against the Arizona Cardinals. Tim Thomas should take his spot. Get GM Thomas Dimitroff on the phone now. Screw the draft, they got themselves a new linebacker in Boston.
Video HT: FanIQ
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
JEFF KENT RETIRED TODAY
Mustaches everywhere will now mourn knowing one of their greatest heros besides Tom Selleck is not going to lace up the cleats anymore. Kent was not only a great second baseman who has a decent shot at Cooperstown but he also inspired millions of rednecks and guidos to grow out the prickly upper lip fuzz and display it with pride. Some guys were extremely jealous of his 70's porn stache and took it out on him. For instance Barry Bonds, who could never quite grow the proper black mustache, went after poor innocent Kent in the dugout when they were teammates in San Francisco. The envy Bond's displayed for Kent's stache was sad and yet Jeff came out looking like Clark Kent by standing up to the raging cow steroid body builder in Bonds and squashed him with his glorious follicles. 
Kent would later inspire Lt. James Dangle and Junior to go into law enforcement...
You will be missed Jeffrey Franklin Kent. Well...maybe not you personally but your awesome mustache will go down in history. Today I will grow one out for you. You are a hero to mustaches everywhere.
JARRET JOHNSON IS ALL IN YOUR FACE
There are two kinds of facials. One that is naughty which I can't show. And then there is the facial that Anderson University (South Carolina) guard Jarret Johnson, who is 6'3, puts on an opposing player in the open court. Facials are entertaining and usually destroy the self esteem of the person they are performed on except Ryan Seacrest. That tool has taken a ton of facials and still is chipper to this day.
Video HT: FanIQ
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
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