The Franchise: A Season with the San Francisco Giants Airs Tonight

The reigning World Series Champs have been labeled a Band of Misfits by the local media and if you have seen the antics of closer Brian Wilson and Aubrey Huff in the past you know that tonight's "The Franchise" on Showtime should at least be somewhat entertaining. I'm always interested to know what goes on behind the scenes and learn more about the players in regards to normal daily activity and that is why I'm such a huge fan of "Hard Knocks" and "24/7" shows on HBO. You get a peak into what you would never see just by watching the game. Hopefully Showtime's "The Franchise" is as well produced and directed as those shows. The above clip shows a little of what Buster Posey is facing in terms of rehab and getting back physically as well as mentally into the game he loves. Hopefully they focus on Posey's gnarly left leg and not all the BS that surrounded the "we must protect the catchers" crusade that went on only after Posey was lost for the season. Of course anything with Wilson in it should be highly entertaining. The guy is naturally funny and I don't think he is going to hold anything back like a Jeter or an Arod would. I would love to see how the rookies get hazed and get to meet Tim Lincecum's dealer and see Miguel Tejada's smiling face. If you love baseball then I think tonight's "The Franchise" is way more of a must-see than last night's All-Star Game. At least we won't have to listen to Joe Buck bitch and moan about Derek Jeter not making it to the All-Star Game. Plus this should have cursing and fart jokes. At least I hope so since every dugout I've ever played in was full of those two.

Oh and if you work for Showtime on this show and are reading this which is highly unlikely please dive into the road beef. I know it's risky for the players who are married so by all means avoid that but I want to see what the single guys are doing after a ballgame. I know it's not going to look like the '86 Mets but I expect a little bit of hookers and blow on the side. It's only American.

Video via ExtraMustard

Justin Timberlake Rips Joe Buck and Loves Beer

I just wanted to point some things out. Justin Timberlake was born on January 31st. Wow, so was I. JT doesn't care much for Joe Buck and his smarmy voice. Me neither. JT enjoys hanging out at the pool with the ladies. Well who doesn't? Timberlake thinks beer is food. So do I. Why am I pointing out all this? Because I always thought I had a long lost twin. My parents would even tell me about him. They gave him up for adoption because they didn't want Marvin (Justin is a much better name now) to be jealous of myself because I was the good looking one with all the talent. It's good to see Marvin has gone on to do better things with his life and not let his deformities both inside and out effect his career in entertainment. We can't all be MFCEO's of SportsCrack LLC Marvin. I'm proud of you Justin. Don't hesitate to call me if you ever need pointers on how to hook up with the ladies.

By the way the National League won 5-1 and Prince Fielder was named MVP after hitting a 3-run bomb thus shutting up those fucking imbeciles in Arizona who kept on booing him because he didn't put Justin Upton in the home run derby. Who's got the last laugh now you fucking cactus fuckers?

Kenny Powers - The K Swiss MFCEO (Uncensored)

Kenny Powers - The K-Swiss MFCEO (UNCENSORED) - watch more funny videos

I'm putting MFCEO on my new business cards. Because I'm not just the CEO and founder of SportsCrack LLC, the greatest t-shirt sports company known to man. I'm the mother fucking CEO. Ever since I started SportsCrack all I ever heard was you can't do this, you can't do that, you will piss off too many people, God hates you, blah blah bull shit. Well guess what? SportsCrack hasn't changed. And I sure as fuck don't plan on changing it anytime soon. That is unless someone wants to offer me a couple of million for the biz. Then I'm not going to lie. I'm in the Caribbean bitches downing Mai tais and smoking blunts like an ex-MFCEO. But until I get bought out by Kenny Powers I'm going to be right here. Cursing like Jesus when he was nailed to the cross.

So in conclusion if you want to get laid you need to be wearing a SportsCrack.com shirt while running around chasing tail with some K-Swiss Tubes (hint hint to the upper powers at K Swiss to send me some more fucking shoes now!) on. Don't be some asshole loser that nobody respects like Derek Jeter. Be a winner. Not a perennial loser like Jeter. That guy can't even get ass without paying for it or getting some 3000 bullshit. Poor fella.

"Hot secretary, get the President on the line. I just got tired of paying taxes."

Phillies Fans Do the Tomamock

I got texts all weekend from some of my college buddies up in Philly who were in attendance watching the Phillies take 2 of 3 from the Bravos. I don't want to point them out (Rivells and Edwards) because that would just be wrong. Of course they handled the series win with class because if Philly fans are anything they are the Derek Jeter of fans. Just all around class acts. No F bombs thrown. No making fun of Atlanta and their attendance woes.

In all seriousness I respect the Philly fans. They have passion. You can't argue with that. And since most of them are borderline retarded (seriously Geno's and Pats both have shitty cheesesteaks) you just have to feel sorry for them. So go ahead and make fun of the tomahawk chop and call Chipper Larry and throw your batteries. The Braves will be ready in October.

Phuck The Phillies!

David Ortiz is still a pussy and still on roids

I've been getting emails left and right about my thoughts on this "fight" in which no actual punches were landed. The Red Sox were again kicking the shit out of the Orioles thanks to an 8 run first inning. They were up 10-3 in the 8th inning and the game was in hand. Baltimore reliever Kevin Gregg who doesn't have the best of control to begin with decides to pitch to the inside of the plate. David Ortiz, or Big Pussy as everyone calls him, took umbrage because god forbid a pitch might actually hit him. Apparently the Dominican Shrek thinks anything thrown near his ogre ass is like pissing in his coffee. It's part of the fucking game. Gregg has as much right to the inside of the plate as you do you fucking Mongoloid. If anybody needed proof that Ortiz is back on the juice then all you need to do is see this roid rage episode. Was Gregg wrong for yelling at him to run the bases when he hit the lazy pop fly? Oh yeah. That's Terry Francona's job. But if you are going to charge the mound and try to "fight" why don't you actually try to land something instead of playing tummy sticks with Gregg.

I always suspected Ortiz was a fraud. This only helped seal the deal. The guy needs help. He needs to be tested and clearly he has problems if he is roid raging on the last place Orioles over some pitches near his shriveled up mansack. Anything less than an 8 game suspension just proves the MLB caters to those Massholes.

Georgia RB Caleb King ruled academically ineligible, bring on Isaiah Crowell

According to inside sources at Georgia expected starting tailback Caleb King has been ruled academically ineligible for 2011. In other words bring on the Isaiah Crowell-era.

King never lived up to his enormous potential while in Athens and now is the chance for incoming freshman Crowell to make a Marcus Lattimore impact on the Georgia Bulldogs program. Crowell will be the first person to get a handoff in the Georgia Dome against Boise State come September and if he stays healthy should get at least 20-25 carries a game. You hate to put a season all on one player and really it's not fair because football is a team game but if Georgia wants to go back to being a respectful SEC power they will need Crowell to have a huge season. Not a 750-1000 yard season. They need LaMichael James production out of his young legs.

Do I think he can do it? Sure he can. Why not? He has the skills and athletic ability to be the best collegiate tailback in the nation. But if you are Georgia fan you should feel uneasy about relying on a true freshman to carry the load and take you to the promise land. We aren't talking about Herschel Walker here. They only come around once every 50 years if you are lucky.

New preseason prediction: Georgia 7-5 with another shitty bowl appearance.

Ohio State Vacates 2010 Season, Places Football Program on 2 Year Probation

Well I guess this is just the first step in their recovery. Still in denial the Ohio State University vacated all of it's football wins in 2010 including the Sugar Bowl victory over Arkansas and the win over arch rival Michigan. They also imposed a two year probation on it's program which basically doesn't mean anything. They aren't going to take away scholarships or future bowl appearances. This quite frankly won't be enough to avoid the wrath of the NCAA. It's like putting a band aid on Brutus asshole. You can still see and smell the shit when it comes out.

The good news is Ohio State isn't taking any responsibility. Nope they are throwing all their eggs at Jim Tressel.

An "embarrassed" Ohio State University is wiping its stellar 2010 football season from the record books as self-imposed punishment for major NCAA violations.

But it is not suggesting that the team lose scholarships or be banned from postseason play.

In a response submitted today to the NCAA, Ohio State admits allegations that then-coach Jim Tressel lied and allowed ineligible players to compete by failing to report that they had sold OSU-issued memorabilia to a tattoo-parlor owner.

Ohio State concedes major violations of NCAA regulations but says it should not face harsher punishment, because no OSU official other than Tressel was aware of player violations, according to the response that was obtained by The Dispatch.

"The responsibility is upon Tressel. No other institutional personnel were aware" of the violations, and the former coach failed in his obligation to report them, the response says. "The institution is embarrassed by the actions of Tressel."

Seriously what a bunch of lying assholes. You trying to tell me it's all Jim Tressel's fault? Give me a fucking break. The athletic director knew shit was going on as well as the other coaches, the players, the fans, and everybody else surrounding the program. It's pretty fucking weak and cowardly to throw all the blame at Tressel no matter how convenient it is.

If anybody deserves a death penalty on their football program it's Ohio State. If you can't even admit when you fuck up then you deserve to be punished to the fullest extent. Vest in Peace Buckeyes.

Friday Funbags

I'm thinking the above picture gets the NFL Lockout over with. Friday Funbags is back for another edition. This week the submissions were pretty weak. I don't know if it's the heat of the summer and some of you are fading faster than the Baltimore Orioles but I really need y'all to step up your game and start playing like the Atlanta Bravos. I know it's fucking hot as shit and life is miserable but funbags make everything better. So please send in some more pics. I want tailgate pics too. You aren't just doing it for yourself or me. You are doing it for mankind and future generations. You can set the example. Now go out there and kick some funbags!

Kenny Powers is the New CEO of K Swiss

Kenny Powers is back and is now the new CEO of K Swiss. I'm not going to lie. I used to hate K Swiss shoes. They were fucking awful and when I wore them back in college my feet were literally bleeding from the narrow fit. But all that has changed my friends. Last year K Swiss was nice enough to send me a free pair of the Tubes. No strings attached they just wanted me to have them and give them a shot and see what I thought about them. They mentioned they saw my blog post about them in which I pretty much shit in their shoe and left it at the front step after ringing the doorbell. Well guess what? The new K Swiss Tubes are the fucking shit! In a good way. I've been wearing mine for over 6 months and they still feel comfortable as shit. They don't smell like cat urine like my Nike Shox either. And considering I got 2 titanium rods and 21 screws in my left leg (this is the part where you feel sorry for me and buy SportsCrack shirts) from a freak football injury I'm very particular about how my shoes feel and the support they offer.

In other words go buy some fucking Tubes. Now. And if I'm Kenny Powers and I'm the new CEO I make Matt Munoz the president. The kid knows his shit and knows how to sell a product. And if K Swiss wants to send me some more FREE Tubes that would be excellent. You know where to reach me.

In Depressing News: Fan Falls to Tragic Death At Rangers Game

I watched this last night and felt sick to my stomach when I heard Shannon Stone, a 39 year-old Rangers fan who brought his son to the game, fell to his death last night trying to catch a foul ball thrown in the stands from Josh Hamilton. I'm kind of surprised this doesn't happen more often. You always see fans leaning over the upper deck railing trying to catch a foul ball and wonder if they could fall over with a slip or some asshole tried to push them to get to the ball. But this kind of thing is just tragic. I feel horrible for the kid who just witnessed his Dad die trying to catch him a souvenir. I don't even know how you shake something like that. Hopefully the kid is young enough where he won't quite remember it when he is older. I think it's safe to say if this kind of awful shit happened to me at that young of an age I would not be a baseball fan. I would stick with a safer spectator "sport" like Nascar.

Via TheBigLead

Fenway Park Boob Grab

I'm not sure what was more inappropriate: the boob grab or the Orioles were up 2-0 on the Red Sox at the time. The Red Sox baseball announcers Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo handle it with class and dignity by giggling like little girls high on pot brownies. I think a more appropriate response and obviously more mature would have been to make a honking noise in a Peter Griffin voice. But that's just me. HONK HONK!



Via TheBigLead

So Much For Putting Dee Hart in My Impact Freshman Article

I've been working on some college football articles for the upcoming season and one of those was the annual "INSTANT IMPACT FRESHMAN" I do every summer. Unfortunately it looks like I'm going to have to cut out one of those players in Dee Hart, the tailback out of Orlando, who was expected to get significant playing time behind Trent Richardson this season in Tuscaloosa. Not now with a torn ACL.

One of Alabama's most promising freshmen, running back Dee Hart, suffered what his high school running backs coach said was a torn ACL during a 7-on-7 passing drill on Tuesday night.

Alabama officials are waiting to release any details, but multiple reports have Hart scheduled for surgery on Thursday morning. He's expected to miss the 2011 season and hopes to be back in seven to 10 months.

With Mark Ingram gone it was expected Richardson would get the majority of the carries for the Crimson Tide this fall with or without Hart. Losing Hart though hurts Richardson in a sense because you don't want to lose your tread on your feature back's tires. In this case his legs. Bama still has sophomore Eddie Lacy to back up but he doesn't have the breakaway slashing speed that Hart had.

For some this won't effect how they view Alabama. A lot of people have them #1 despite losing their starting QB, RB, WR, TE, best offensive lineman and best defensive lineman. Now they lose their best offensive freshman piece. And they are coming off a 3 loss season. I wouldn't be so sure about Alabama right now. Are they good? Well yeah. Are they great? I doubt it.

Jarron Jones and Arik Armstead Need to be Fighting Irish

Ok I'm sure some if not all of you know I'm a huge Notre Dame fan. It started at my first game back in the late 80's up in South Bend when I got a chance to meet all the players while staying at an average at best hotel in Plymouth, Indiana the night before the game. Ever since I meet Ricky Watters, Rocket, Tony Rice, Tony Brooks, Chris Zorich, Jerome Bettis, and many others I've been hooked. Notre Dame was not only the elite of the elite back then they had good guys who were all class acts and played hard every single snap. Unfortunately it's been hard to find a consistent Notre Dame squad since the early 90's that have displayed a passion on and off the field throughout the season. And of course win.

But hopefully all that changes with 2nd year head coach Brian Kelly. He's already brought back the Lou Holtz feel with the passion and drive and all out execution from top to bottom in the way he develops his program. He handles adversity and seems to have the Irish headed back to the glory Fighting days when they would never give up until the final whistle was blown on Saturdays. Last season he brought in elite defensive recruits with the likes of Aaron Lynch, Stephon Tuitt, Ishaq Williams, Ben Councell and many others to help form what will hopefully become a dominant bunch in the near future. I've gone on record saying in order for his second true recruiting class to be a success he needs to land at least one feature tailback like Keith Marshall out of North Carolina. I'm having serious doubts whether Marshall will even give ND a chance and I'm hearing he is pretty much a lock for Georgia.

But I'm not hear to talk about Marshall. I'm here to give you some good news Irish fans. I'm talking about getting some more elite defensive linemen. Some of the big guys in the trenches that help you win games. I'm talking about Jarron Jones who just recently decommitted from Penn State after taking a visit to Notre Dame. The 6'5 308 lbs defensive tackle from Rochester, New York has Fighting Irish written all over him. He's a top 100 national recruit and after watching his film he should bring back fond memories of Bryant Young who once dominated for the Blue and Gold...



The other guy I want to talk about is Arik Armstead. He's a 5 star defensive end who is currently a USC commit but is looking to bolt for the right school. He wants to play hoops too and he has hopes of visiting Notre Dame on an official this fall. I got a real good feeling this 6'8 280 lb strongside defensive end from Elk Grove, California picks Notre Dame when the ink dries on National Signing day.



Last recruiting cycle ND Nation was drooling at the thought of guys with the talent of Lynch, Tuitt, and Ishaq playing next to one another in the same class. This season you should feel the same about Jones and Armstead. Getting these two is the difference between being a good team and being a great team in my opinion. It's that good old fashion feeling you had as a Notre Dame fan back in the late 80's that you knew your team wouldn't allow the other team to score on you. With these two in the fold Notre Dame would definitely be back.

Field of Dreams 2: NFL Lockout with Taylor Lautner

Field of Dreams 2: NFL Lockout with Taylor Lautner from Taylor Lautner

I know what you are thinking: who in the holy hell is that chick in this spoof? I mean screw the cameos by Kevin Costner and Ray Liotta. I wanna know why Marielle Jaffe isn't in Transformers 3? She has appeared in Percy Jackson & The Olympians (a movie I've never heard of) and Scream 4 but this girl needs to seriously blow the fuck up. Why hasn't Michael Bay casted her?

I feel it is my duty to show you more images of her. Marielle Jaffe. SportsCrack wants you to blow up.

Oh and by the way the Field of Dreams 2 spoof was kinda funny. Now let's please get this lockout ended already.

Drunk Milwaukee Brewers Fan Faceplants and Then Pisses All Over Himself

What the hell Milwaukee? I thought every single kid who got pissed drunk at Brewers games were required to wear the Hebrew Hammer shirt. I guess I was wrong. First that Casey Anthony chick gets off with murdering her daughter and now this shit happens. I'm kind of ashamed to call this America. You can make it up to me though. Buy some shit and take back our country!!!

I gotta give the kid a solid 8 in drunk execution. It's not too often you can recover from a faceplant with a straight pissing all over yourself. The kid decided to go all out. Now if only he would have thrown a phantom punch at one of the officers then he would have completed the ultimate trifecta in "how to be that guy!"



Via TheBigLead via TotalPackers.com

Fausto Carmona runs the bases with the grace of a drunk

Cleveland Indians starting pitcher Fausto Carmona should probably stay in the American League so he doesn't have to run the bases anymore. He took quite the tumble this weekend in Cincinnati. He looks like one of those kids on spring break who tried on too many whip its and decided to make a run for it once they heard the cops. I'm not going to say I looked like this this past holiday weekend but I'm not exactly going to deny it if there is evidence out there.

Oregon is in deep shit: “They were covering their tracks,” Lyles said. “They were covering their asses. They were scrambling.”

It looks like another major college football program is about to have their shit hit the fan. Yahoo Sports Dan Wetzel and Charles Robinson have a detailed report on some damaging information in regards to how the University of Oregon used "scouting service owner" Will Lyles to help funnel money to himself in order to sway star Texas recruits such as tailback Lache Seastrunk to the Ducks as well as current Heisman candidate LaMichael James. This isn't going to end well at all for head coach Chip Kelly.

Lyles insists Oregon did not make a direct request or payment to steer recruits to Eugene. However, he now says Oregon did not pay him for his work as a traditional scout, but for his influence with top recruits and their families and his ability to usher prospects through the signing and eligibility process. That dual role as mentor to prospects and paid contractor to Oregon is believed to be a focus of the NCAA probe.

“I look back at it now and they paid for what they saw as my access and influence with recruits,” Lyles said. “The service I provided went beyond what a scouting service should … I made a mistake and I’m big enough of a man to admit I was wrong.”

Of course now Kelly is avoiding phone calls and answering the media to these allegations. Which in layman's terms means he is guilty.
You should go read the full report over at Yahoo. They have pictures, emails, hand-written notes and phone records backing up Lyles side of the story. He has nothing to gain out if it so I presume he isn't making all this shit up. He basically received $25k with the assurance that he would help sway recruits to Oregon. This would be a major no-no for the NCAA and the infraction committee.


My guess is the coverup with Kelly and his staff to the infractions they committed is going to be too damaging to survive. The story will only grab more legs as soon as ESPN and CNN/SI pick it up. I'm sure the more they dig up the more infractions will be found and could go all the way to Nike Founder Phil Knight. It was a fun ride for Oregon while it lasted. Now it's time to get their wings clipped.

Friday Funbags

Friday is finally here and the 3 day July 4th weekend is upon us. Thank f-ing God. This week we had some good submissions for the Friday Funbags but I'm still not getting enough emails over this. I'm seriously getting like 4 or 5 a week. Come on guys. Everybody loves funbags. Well almost everybody. So be sure to email them to me at matt@sportscrack.com. No excuses. Just do it. Enjoy.



Sometimes I gotta throw an offspeed knuckle curve when you think you are getting the hard high one just to keep you on your toes. Here is a bodacious booty gif...




And we end it with SportsCrack favorite Sofia Vergara...

18 Year Old Falls Off Top Escalator

I know some of you maybe viewing this and feel awful for the kid. I'm the complete opposite. I'm laughing my ass off at this idiot showing off for his buddy. You wanna play with the sword then you take a chance of dying by the sword. The shitty part is the family probably sued the park and/or escalator manufacturer and got a huge settlement out of it. I don't know I think I'd rather live and walk again then have a ton of money.

Stephen Garcia is The Most Interesting Man In Columbia

LeatherHelmetBlog via OnlyinAmerica