THE CURIOUS CASE OF MATT BUSH

Some kids are born with all the talent in the world yet have a ten cent head. Matt Bush would be one of those kids. Bush was taken #1 overall in the 2004 MLB draft by his hometown San Diego Padres becoming the first high school shortstop to be taken in the top spot since Alex Rodriguez in 1993. The similarities between the two end right there.

His selection was controversial from the start as more highly regarded college players such as Stephen Drew and Jered Weaver were passed on by the Padres because of signing bonus issues. In other words Scott Boras represented both. The Padres took Bush who was a local kid out of Mission Bay High School and gave him their biggest signing bonus to date at $3.15 million. The 18 year old Bush had a ton of money in his pocket to burn and little sense of the talent he had. Less than two weeks after the draft he was involved in a fight at a nightclub in Peoria, AZ, just outside of the Padres Spring Training facility. He was accused of felony assault, disorderly conduct, misdemeanor trespassing, and alcohol consumption by a minor. In other words just a typical weekend for myself in college.

He went on to hit only .199 in 99 at-bats at Rookie level ball while adjusting to the switch from aluminum to wooden bats. The Padres expected big things out of him in 2005, his second season in minor league ball. Unfortunately he continued to struggle this time at A Ball in Ft. Worth. His .221 average over 453 at bats was clearly not living up the hype of his #1 overall draft pick status. He was invited to Spring Training in 2006 but broke his ankle and missed half the season. Now that I think about it that was right around the time I broke my ankle. Holy shit, Matt Bush wants to be a Fairchild clone. We both suck at baseball but somehow he has a lot of money. Ok, we aren't too similar.

Anyways after he broke his ankle he came back and put up a putrid .583 OPS in 2007 before the Padres decided to switch him to pitcher. Bush has a cannon for an arm and could routinely hit mid 90's on the radar gun. He was also a star pitcher for his high school team so it looked like it might work out on the mound as he fanned 16 batters in just over 7 innings of work in the Arizona League. He lasted only 7 innings when he started feeling pain in his elbow. He had a torn ligament in his right elbow and underwent Tommy John surgery which required him to miss the rest of the 2007 season and all of 2008.

So you would think with all these lumps Bush since he was drafted first overall in 2004 he might eventually wake up and realize what he has and not throw it all away. Nope. The Padres designated Bush for assignment to make room for Cliff Floyd on the 40 man roster yesterday. Essentially they released him and it wasn't because of his elbow. Bush is in trouble with the law again...

El Cajon police Lt. Steve Shakowski yesterday confirmed an investigation involving Bush and allegations of assaultive behavior and public intoxication. A witness, who requested his name not be used because of the ongoing police investigation, said Bush was drunk, threw a golf club into the dirt, picked up and threw a freshman lacrosse player and hit another one. Bush also yelled “I'm Matt (expletive) Bush,” and “(expletive) East County,” before driving over a curb in his Mercedes when leaving the campus, according to the witness.

So where this leaves Bush is up to him. He has become San Diego's baseball version of Ryan Leaf. An immature idiot who couldn't harness his talent or his destiny. Someone will pick him up no doubt because the talent is there. He doesn't have near the talent of a Josh Hamilton, another reclamation project, but if his velocity returns after rehab he could at the very least become a good bullpen arm at the Major League level. He is still only 23 years old and once you have Tommy John surgery the arm usually becomes more stronger with intensive rehab than it was before the injury. If he can manage to control his alcohol and rage issues then this curious Bush case could someday become a great comeback story as Hamilton proved after beating his demons.

RICHARD ZEDNIK HAS ELEVATION BRO

You may remember the name of Richard Zednik from nearly a year ago when he took an accidental teammates skate right to his external carotid artery. God was on his side then as well as Florida Panthers trainer Dave Zenobi quickly aided Zednik as he skated off the ice in stopping the bleeding by putting pressure on the wound. Zednik healed quickly and now apparently has been given the ability to elevate over opponents such as Brendan Witt for this impressive goal in a win over the Islanders last night. Godspeed Zednik!

Video HT: WithLeather

LANE KIFFIN ACCUSES URBAN MEYER OF RECRUITING VIOLATIONS

It looks like new Tennessee head coach Lane Kiffin is ready for a gunfight with Florida coach Urban Meyer. Speaking at recruiting celebration banquet this morning in Knoxville, Kiffin claimed Meyer committed a recruiting violation while a recruit named Nu'Keese Richardson was visiting Tennessee. Apparently Meyer kept calling Richardson while he was on his official visit at Tennessee and it's against the rules to have any contact with a recruit while they are taking official visits to other schools.

"I'm gonna turn Florida in right here in front of you," Kiffin told the crowd at the Knoxville Convention Center. "While Nu'Keese was on campus, his phone kept ringing. One of the coaches says, 'who's that?' And he said, Urban Meyer."

"I love the fact that Urban had to cheat and still didn't get him," Kiffin said.

If you thought the rivalry between the Volunteers and Gators was strong before wait till these two fan bases start slinging mud at each other. Kiffin managed to seal the deal with Richardson and get the one time commit from Florida to sign with Tennessee yesterday. The new head coach at Tennessee is already starting to make SEC people notice him and he seems to be ruffling people's feathers much like Meyer did when he first arrived in Gainesville. Usually that means he is a threat.

Click here to check out the video of Kiffin this morning speaking to the Tennessee faithful.

At first I thought the Kiffin hire was a mistake because of his lack of experience going into a high pressure situation that is Tennessee football but now I'm thinking he is the perfect hire. Recruits seem to gravitate towards him and he is already riling up a rabid fan base begging for a winner.

LITTLE PIMPIN

This little girl has better rap skills than the less talented and still alive Phoenix brother. Eminem ain't got nothing on her yo!

JAWANZA STARLING IS A TROJAN RIGHT? NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND

Earlier today top prep safety Jawanza Starling out of Florida declared his intentions to go to USC. The only problem is he hasn't faxed in his letter of intention to Pete Carroll so nothing is official and right now he is seriously pondering going to Notre Dame. In fact if you go check out the comments on the players in the 2009 class for USC there is no mention of Starling.

From what I am hearing is Starling had narrowed his choices down to USC and Notre Dame today. He decided to announce USC but apparently is having second thoughts and the Fighting Irish are very much in his thoughts. The Notre Dame coaches are considering him fair game so they are still actively recruiting him. He has apparently struck up a pretty close bond to current ND defensive coordinator Corwin Brown also.

Landing Starling and stealing him from USC would be huge. Notre Dame is thin at depth at the safety position and don't even have one in the class they signed today. USC already has 3 signed safeties in their 2009 class and a pretty good amount of depth because they are USC. They have an insane amount of talented depth at every position in fact.

So where will Starling end up? South Bend or South Central? I guess we will just have to wait and see.

UPDATE: South Central wins, Starling faxed in his signed letter of intent this morning to USC after mulling over his decision. Good luck to him.

2010 TOP LB CHRIS MARTIN IS IRISH

According to IrishIllustrated.com Notre Dame has pulled in their second five star outside linebacker today in Chris Martin.

"I thought about it deeply and hard, and it fits everything I'm looking for in a school from academics to playing time," Martin said. " I feel like ND is the appropriate place for me to go."

Martin is just a junior this season but is already considered one of the elite outside linebackers/defensive ends in the 2010 class. The kid has top 10 overall prospect potential for his class and to pull him out of California is huge considering he was USC's top target for the 2010 class. Martin was first team all-state this past season after recording 115 tackles including an astonishing 40 tackles for loss. He has received offers from all the big schools including LSU, Georgia and Nebraska among many others.

Bringing in Manti Te'o and Chris Martin in the same day is simply incredible. Te'o has a great shot of starting next year at outside linebacker in South Bend and Martin has the frame (6 '4 and 225 lbs) to fill out to be a great defensive end. Stealing both these guys from USC bodes well to a program on the rise with almost all of their key starters back next season.

TOP WR MARLON BROWN PICKS GEORGIA

The Georgia Bulldogs picked up a huge signing today when one of the best receivers in the nation, Marlon Brown, decided to catch balls in Athens. Team him up with last year's freshman sensation A.J. Green and you have a great receiving tandem for at least the next two seasons for Joe Cox and/or freshman QB Aaron Murray to throw bombs to.

MANTI TE'O PICKS NOTRE DAME!!!!

Hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Manti Te'o is Irish baby!!!!!!!!! Suck it USC!!!!!!



Get ready Notre Dame fans to see 4 years of kickass linebackers in Manti, Zeke Motta, Dan Fox, and Carlo Calabrese.

FLORIDA LB FRANKIE TELFORT PICKS USC

Pete Carroll snags one out of Florida in OLB Frankie Telfort. Hopefully this helps Notre Dame's chances with Manti Te'o. Please baby Jesus I hope.

JELANI JENKINS PICKS FLORIDA

In my opinion LB Jelani Jenkins is the best player in this class. He has speed, size, and he loves to destroy the opposition. Urban Meyer got a great one in Jenkins who should be in the two deep next season in Gainesville. It's refreshing to hear a kid who is well spoken and congratulates and acknowledges all the schools who recruited him instead of pissing on them on a national stage. Get ready to hear a lot about Jelani as the SEC conference again gets another spectacular player...

DARREN MYLES JR. PICKS TENNESSEE

One of Atlanta's own in safety Darren Myles Jr. has decided to leave the comforts of peaches and peanuts for Dollywood. SEC fans should be on the look out for Lane Kiffin and his posse of recruit stealers. Kiffin apparently knows how to close in the same sense as Pete Carroll when it comes to recruits. Florida and UGA fans sweat while shaking their heads...

LSU ADDS TO IT'S TALENT IN MONTGOMERY

One of the top defensive linemen in the country, Sam Montgomery, has decided to go to LSU where he will play his next 3 seasons before being a first round draft pick. He will get bigger, stronger, and faster in Baton Rouge in a class that is more than likely going to have the best class in the nation when all is said and done. The running theme of the day is "the rich get richer!"

JEFFREY LOVES TO KEEP HIS COCK FREE OF TROJANS

WR Alshon Jeffrey decided to go to the shitty USC in Columbia and renegade on his long standing commitment to hookers and blow in LA. Jeffrey is one of the top wide receivers in the nation and should major in mediocrity in the SEC. I'm happy the Trojans and Pete Carroll lost one here but I do think it is shitty to switch your commitment the day of signing day. It's not like you just wake up from a dream of naked Southern Cal chicks and say "I love Cock!" At least I hope not.

BYRON MOORE GOING TO USC

Talk about an incredibly lame declaration on ESPNU, safety Byron Moore decided to go back to USC by tossing Colorado and Notre Dame hats on the ground. Fight on. Cheat on. Whatever you want to call it but there is no doubt that the stinking Trojans got a really good player in Moore. It seems Moore was more confused than a kid seeing his first pubic hair at the press conference.

HOOKERS AND BLOW MY FRIENDS. FIGHT ON!

RECRUITING CHAOS STARTS TOMORROW MORNING

I will be here all day to blog about the latest "I can't believe that fucking douchebag kid went to that school" and offer my analysis on "well, he wasn't really that good" and "his parents made him go to that school" and "I heard he has genital warts and the cream at USC is the best, thus the decision." I will be drinking beer like high school kids do when they are not hitting the bong ala Michael Phelps all day so it could get chaotic, mean, and ugly. You should be here starting at 8 am and never leave.

To give you a little taste of what National Signing Day for high school football is like at Sportscrack I present the case of LB Vontaze Burfict. Vontaze is a top 10 overall player in the nation who has been committed to USC (the real one, not the fake one in Columbia) since his junior season. Well word on the streets of LA is that Burfict is now going to Arizona State to be with his friends and slay killer Sun Devil poon. And the mighty Trojans don't lose players the calibre of Burfict the night before National Signing Day. Let's just say that their fans haven't taken it well...

To live or die in South Central, the choice is yours Manti, Byron, and Jawanza. 40 year decision or Valtrex? Crazy horny catholic girls or Pete Carroll's dead hookers? Seems pretty simple to me.

Georgia player of the year Greg Reid gave a giant FU to Knowshon Moreno's #24 that he was promised from Mark Richt and instead decided to go with the Criminoles. This proves that old man river can still recruit and convince kids that should be his great grandchildren that he still can get them to the NFL. Dag gummit them.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS SUPER BOWL 43 XLIII MINI HELMETS, REPLICA FULL SIZE AND AUTHENTIC HELMETS FOR SALE

We got some of these cool, brand new Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl 43 Champion mini helmets in stock for the low price of $25. They retail for $35 at most on-line stores. Be sure to spread the word to any Steelers fans out there about these one of a kind official NFL Super Bowl 43 XLIII mini helmets. They should sell out quickly.

We also have the full size replicas for $100 and the Authentic Pro Lines, the same ones they wear on the field for $200.

SANTONIO HOLMES TECMO BOWL TD CATCH

An FYI for all old school Tecmo Bowl fans. If you have a Wii you can download the original Tecmo Bowl on to your system for only $5 through a WIFI connection. You can run sprints down the sidelines with Bo Jackson and Walter Payton all over again. Or throw deep to Jerry Rice. I highly recommend it. It brings back a lot of memories. The 16 bit games were so much more simpler as was life back when we were kids. I'm hoping they will bring back NHL 93. I used to score at will with Jeremy Roenick in that game and the fact that you could make players bleed will never get old. If you don't remember the game then your childhood sucked. Here is a great scene from Swingers...

MICHAEL PHELPS: AN AMERICAN BONG HERO

This picture was supposedly taken at some party Michael Phelps attended near the University of South Carolina. Looks like he is having a hell of a time. See kids, with the right amount of rips off a bong you too can become a famous world class athlete with tons of gold medals. Or you can deal drugs and become a Super Bowl MVP. Saying no is for pussies. Just ask Michael Phelps and Santonio Holmes.

And before you get your panties in a bunch Michael Phelps came out yesterday and confirmed it is him in the picture. That what us Maryland boys do. Crabcakes and bongs!

THE TWO BEST SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS

All of the other ones sucked balls. I am especially disappointed in the Budweiser marketing people. I don't give a rat's ass about some stinking horses guys! Anyways, here they are...



And this one was okay for Bud Light...


I think it's time to bring back Bud Bowl for the halftime show. I had no interest in watching Bruce Springsteen along with everybody else who grew up outside of the northeast.

UPDATE: I forgot about this E Trade talking baby commercial. It must have been the booze. It makes me forget shit like where did I hide my gun and who am I going to pin the murder on this time. I love drinking....



Am I forgetting any other commercials? If I am please be a dick and tell me what I missed on my list of best commercials in the comment section.

FROM DRUG DEALER TO SUPER BOWL MVP

Only in America can a guy who once dealt rock as a kid to buy the coolest Nike shoes back in the day go from that to making one of the greatest catches in Super Bowl history. Santonio Holmes is your Super Bowl MVP after last night's performance...

You couldn't have asked for a better game. I found myself rooting for the Arizona Cardinals and Kurt Warner last night because it seemed like every single call in the first 3 quarters went against them. They literally couldn't catch a break even when James Harrison had the interception returned for a TD at the end of the first half. If his knee goes down half a foot before he falls down then it is no touchdown and the Cardinals probably win the game. The running into the place kick holder and the unnecessary roughness on Big Ben were bullshit calls in my book but it goes to show you that the Cardinals were in fact a great team to come back and compete in this game. Big Ben is now a top 3 QB in the NFL and Warner is a for sure Hall of Famer as well as Big Ben. It goes to show you how much these games mean.

So now that football is officially done we have to look forward to this Wednesday for National Signing Day. Then we wait for college spring practice which is always a point of optimism going into the 2009 season. And then we are fucked till Fall unless you are a baseball fan like I am. Because who watches basketball or hockey anymore? Do they even play? I guess I will have to start paying attention to these things.

THIS SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL IS A LITTLE SUGGESTIVE

Don't ya think?....



"Mommy, why are those balloons wrestling?"

WOMEN DRIVERS

Listen, I'm not going to go in a long rant about some female drivers because at the end of the rant I will look like a sexist, racist-like Ashton Kutcher bitching about his neighbors construction.

So instead I will let the video do the talking:


I literally laughed so hard when the lady flipped her car I started choking and coughing. Great stuff.

Video HT: Elizabeth

MANTI TE'O WILL BE IRISH

Notre Dame has a recent history of being burned pretty badly when it comes to football recruits making their college decision come signing day. I could go through the list but it just brings up bad memories of what if's and why not's. Charlie Weis and his staff have put in an all out effort to recruit Hawaii LB Manti Te'o who could conceviably step in and start right away for programs such as ND and USC. Te'o is a devout Mormon who surprisingly eliminated BYU last week and will now make his decision between ND, USC, and UCLA. Weis has personally visited Te'o for in-home visit a few weeks ago and this week defensive coordinator Corwin Brown and Brian Polian also made the long flight to Te'o's home to review the benefits of choosing Notre Dame.

The Fighting Irish even played in front of Te'o during the Hawaii Bowl and put on quite a show and apparently the word is that Te'o is interested in going on his own path and trying new things. In a perfect USC world Te'o would no doubt be theirs to have. They call him Baby Seau and he reminds people a lot of LB Rey Maualuga who will be a top 15 draft pick in this April's NFL draft. But I have a good feeling that Notre Dame will land the five star linebacker even after he takes his last official visit to USC this weekend.

At USC he would become just another linebacker but at Notre Dame he would become a legend if he lives up to his prep hype. Notre Dame has not had a dominant All-American linebacker since Michael Stonebreaker was getting in fights with Hurricanes. Don't even bring up Courtney Watson or Kory Minor's name. Yes, they were good. But not great. And Te'o has the ability and the attitude to be a great one. The fact that Notre Dame is still in the running for Te'o speaks volumes in the staff's recruiting ability. Te'o has made one official visit to Notre Dame and can you guess the game?

Syracuse. They lost to a fucking horrible Syracuse team in a game full of snow and bad weather and it was Te'o first experience in the snow. It was also his only experience to see the Notre Dame campus and take it in. Growing up in Hawaii the chances of you seeing snow are about the same as Charlie drinking a Diet Coke and losing to stinking Syracuse. So the fact that they still remain in contention only goes to show you how good the staff is at selling Notre Dame.

And that is why I think Notre Dame will get Te'o signature next Wednesday. Weis has gone above and beyond in his recruitment while nursing two torn knees. You can't tell me that doesn't factor in a recruit's mind when he sees a hurting, gimpy coach flying thousands of miles with two bum knees just so he can sell him on the Fighting Irish.

Te'o will be Irish. Mark it down.

SUPER BOWL 43 ODDS FROM CARL

God have I missed Carl. The man basically got me through the NFL season last year with his upper arm hair and his dry witty humor. Carl for Aqua Force Teen Hunger whatever the fuck you want to call it should have his own show. Primetime on Fox. Right before American Idol. Let's make this happen.

Odds of it happening: 0.
Odds of Matt Leinart passing out drunk and wetting his pants at a Saturday night party before the big game: 50/50
Odds that I have done the same exact thing as Leinart: 100

Via WithLeather via AdultSwim

ARIZONA CARDINALS VS PITTSBURGH STEELERS BODY PAINT

Forget Super Bowl 43, the real winner is the guy who got to videotape these two ladies body painting themselves. So who would you pick to win after watching this video? Personally I would go Steelers but the Cardinals make a hell of a case. The guy behind the camera sounds like the guy at the mall who comes up to talk to you, acts all friendly, tries to make conversation and then hits you up with the "So have you found Jesus Christ in your life?"

Video HT: FanDome

SIDNEY CROSBY'S BACKHANDED GOAL

They don't get much prettier than this...

I haven't been talking much hockey this year because my Atlanta Thrashers are one of the worst teams in the NHL. Not just on the ice but off it. They should have fired GM Don Waddell years ago but somehow he still has a job even though the franchise has yet to win a single playoff game since he started the first roster from scratch back in 1999. He is a joke and should have been pushed out of the city as fast as Michael Vick was last year. But rant aside this is a nasty goal by Sidney Crosby past Lundquist of the Rangers. If Crosby was a Thrasher he would have been traded for Marian Hossa. Fuck!

A SIGN THAT BASEBALL IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

Touch it to enlarge it. Tell me you haven't heard that before.

This picture was taken right outside of the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis. I think they are ready for some baseball. I'm getting in the spirit too as the Orioles and Braves have both made some good offseason moves recently and should be fun to watch at least for the first half of the season.

Picture HT: Deadspin

NO PANTS 2009 NEW YORK CITY

Make it no panties and I might have an outside shot of going back to New York City someday. Key words: no panties.

BRANDON ROY DUNK

Talk about some mad elevation. He must have Jesus Christ on his side like Kurt Warner.

TALK ABOUT DISRESPECT: CHASE BUDINGER'S FACE

Houston's Aubrey Coleman is apparently not a big fan of Arizona's Chase Budinger as the video above clearly demonstrates. I've done my fair share of fucked up things in my life but I'm proud to admit I have never stepped on somebody's face intentionally. In fact it's never even crossed my mind. But if I was Budinger's face you can guarantee that Coleman would be leaving that court with some bruises at the least. Houston was up by 12 points at the time of Coleman's ejection in the second half. Arizona came back to win in overtime. Coleman should be suspended for the rest of the season.

Seeing this replay brought back memories of the gapping Duke vagina who went by the name of Christian Laettner stepping on the Kentucky player back in 1992. If you can't recall it then take a look at this video....

See, Laettner was a dick.


Video HT: WithLeather via The Dagger

JOSH SMITH DUNKS OVER STEVE NASH

This is what happens to you when your Canadian hippie ass tries to take a charge from a baller like Josh Smith. Take your socialized medical coverage and shove it.

MICHAEL JORDAN VS KOBE BRYANT - WHO'S MORE CLUTCH?

You decide who you would want taking the last shot for the win. Personally I would always take Michael Jordan but it's probably because I grew up watching him play and thinking he is the greatest ever to grace a basketball court. But Kobe does make a strong argument in this video.

TOP PREP SAFETY BYRON MOORE WITHDRAWS COMMITMENT TO USC

One of the top prep safeties in the nation withdrew his long staying commitment to USC and appears to be heading to arch rival Notre Dame less than two weeks till signing day according to WeAreSC.com....

"Yeah, I went ahead and decommitted today," said Moore. "I just felt USC wasn't the place I wanted to be and I want to look at some other options out of state. Right now it's pretty much Notre dame and LSU, with Notre Dame in the lead. I'll probably take a trip down to LSU next week.

"I kind of feel like I want to go to school out of state, see something new on my own, go somewhere I will get a good education and have an opportunity to play early."

Moore was asked what Seto's reaction to the news was?

"He was just real surprised and shocked," said Moore. "It was a real hard decision for me and I did it on my own. It was just me and Coach Seto in the room together, and I told him to his face that I felt USC wasn't the place for me, anymore."

Moore informed Coach Brian Polian from Notre Dame and Coach D.J. McCarthy from LSU earlier today that he was no longer committed to USC.

Note: Notre Dame and LSU are also two schools Moore's teammate, Sean Parker, has serious interest in.

Picking up Byron Moore would be absolutely huge for Notre Dame. They currently have a small class of less than 17 commitments that is ranked near 20th by Scout and Rivals and their only secondary defensive players in the class reside in offensive players who would need to switch positions once in South Bend. They lost Marlon Pollard recently to UCLA and it appears that current commitment Nyshier Oliver (currently projected to play WR but in my opinion has college safety written all over him) is suppose to visit Tennessee this weekend where he was previously committed before Phil Fulmer was on the hot seat. And if committed recruits like Oliver are visiting other campuses this late in the process it means 99% of the time they are not committed to signing to their current school of choice.

If Notre Dame can land Byron Moore along Manti Te'o and Jawanza Starling who both appear to be leaning towards Notre Dame at this point it would be tremendous in terms of adding speed and talent to a defense that desperately needs it. With less than two weeks left till signing day the gloves are off and the closers in recruiting will show their true colors. Charlie Weis and his staff's future in Notre Dame could very much depend on what recruits from California, Florida, and Hawaii decide to do on signing day.

MEL KIPER'S MOCK 2009 NFL FIRST ROUND

Stafford and Moreno can't wait to tap the NFL.

Mel Kiper Jr, "draft guru," has his first 2009 NFL mock draft up now over at ESPN.com. Of course you have to have an insider subscription which costs money to see past the first 15 picks which is beyond stupid. Fuck having to pay for somebody's pointless predictions. We all know only about 10% of his predictions will be right. So if you don't have a membership and want to hear my quick thoughts with no research on his pointless predictions well then you came to the right place. I would also love to hear some thoughts from the peanut gallery out there so feel free to comment away on your favorite team and/or player.

1 Detroit Matthew Stafford QB Georgia-Has all the physical skills to be a NFL QB but for the sake of his career I hope the Lions pass on him. But who knows, if Ryan and Flacco can succeed in their first year then why not Stafford?

2 St. Louis Andre Smith OT Alabama-I like this pick a lot for the Rams. Smith is a dominate left tackle and we all know picking Sanchez at this point would be a reach.

3 Kansas City Mark Sanchez QB USC-Dirty Sanchez! Kiper must really like him. Sanchez has the tools and KC needs a QB but this seems to be a huge stretch pick.

4 Seattle Michael Crabtree WR Texas Tech-The history of top 10 WR's taken is not good but Crabtree, like Calvin Johnson a couple of seasons ago, is too unique to pass up.

5 Cleveland Aaron Curry LB Wake Forest-Going to be honest here, I haven't seem much of Curry since Wake Forest football is outlawed on my television. If I'm going to watch shitty Saturday football I can only dedicate my time to Notre Dame.

6 Cincinnati Jason Smith OT Baylor-Again, no clue. Makes sense though that Cincy would take a player I or their fans have no idea about.

7 Oakland Jeremy Maclin WR Missouri-I have a man crush on Maclin so I like the pick. He is my Desean Jackson of this year.

8 Jacksonville Eugene Monroe OT Virginia-Great player who should step in and start right away.

9 Green Bay Malcolm Jenkins CB Ohio St.-The Packers do need corners but I would love to see them take a RB here with Knowshon and team him up with Ryan Grant.

10 San Francisco Aaron Maybin DE/OLB Penn St.-If Sanchez drops this far I think the 49ers will cut ties with Alex Smith and take him. Maybin is a good pick and would start right away.

11 Buffalo Brandon Pettigrew TE Oklahoma St.-Interesting pick here. You don't see tight ends taken this high besides Vernon Davis and that hasn't exactly worked out for the 49ers. I would take Chase Coffman but Pettigrew is apparently more impressive in workouts.

12 Denver B.J. Raji DT Boston College-Raji came out of nowhere this year and just dominated.

13 Washington Brian Orakpo DE Texas-Jason Taylor was a bust of a pickup so yeah, OSackpo would make sense here.

14 New Orleans Vontae Davis CB Illinois-Vernon's brother Vontae had an up and down season but I think he will be a good pro.

15 Houston Everette Brown DE Florida St.-FSU churns out the defensive stars so why not?

16 San Diego Knowshon Moreno RB Georgia-Very interesting pick here by Kiper. Knowshon would essentially push out Tomlinson. Both are very similar backs and I think Knowshon has a step on vagina lips LT.

17 New York Jets Percy Harvin WR Florida-Harvin is so dynamic but just couldn't stay healthy in college. 50/50 on this pick. Healthy Harvin equals great pick. Gimpy Harvin equals awful pick.

18 Chicago Tyson Jackson DE LSU-Jackson is overrated in my opinion. A product of his school.

19 Tampa Bay Josh Freeman QB Kansas St.-Get the fuck out of here! Freeman..seriously Kiper? Excuse me while I pick up my jaw.

20 Detroit (from Dallas) Rey Maualuga LB USC-This guy has future first round bomb all over him. Sure he lays some hits now and then but he also disappears for long periods of time. Why is that? Heart.

21 Philadelphia Chris "Beanie" Wells RB Ohio St.-Beanie would be a hell of a pickup for the Eagles but it looked like they had more pressing needs on their o-line this season.

22 Minnesota Hakeem Nicks WR North Carolina-Lot of WR's taken in the first round, makes you wonder. I like Nicks a lot and he would look good in purple.

23 New England Brian Cushing LB USC-Patriots took Mayo last year in the first round so I doubt they go Cushing here. A cornerback like D.J. Moore would make more sense.

24 Atlanta Larry English DE/OLB No. Illinois-The Falcons have obvious needs of tight end and anybody that can play defense. I have never heard of English. If they can get Chase Coffman later in the 2nd round then defense makes sense here.

25 Miami Darrius Heyward-Bey WR Maryland-They already have Ginn so why would they take Heyward-Bey? I like Heyward-Bey but their is no way Parcells is picking a WR with this pick.

26 Baltimore D.J. Moore CB Vanderbilt-Moore is a shutdown corner and surprisingly the Ravens don't have anymore. Great pick if he falls to them.

27 Indianapolis Peria Jerry DT Mississippi-Colts need a DT badly so this makes sense.

28 Philadelphia (from Carolina) Michael Oher OT Mississippi-Oher would be an absolute steal for the Eagles at this pick. He should be a top ten pick.

29 New York Giants James Laurinaitis LB Ohio St.-Some of the luster has fallen off the Little Animal but if he falls this far you got to think it's a pretty solid pickup for the Giants.

30 Tennessee Michael Johnson DE Georgia Tech-Having seen Johnson play a lot in person I think this would be a tremendous pick by the Titans. His physical attributes are off the charts and he reminds me a lot of Justin Tuck in college.

31 Arizona LeSean McCoy RB Pittsburgh-Makes sense with Edge close to retiring. McCoy could be a beast in the NFL like
Marshall Faulk was for the Rams playing in an offense that features Fitzgerald and Boldin.

32 Pittsburgh Alex Mack C California-Best center in the draft and we could see all season the Steelers need better protection for Ben Roethlisberger.

HIGH-FIVE INAUGURATION

HOPE. NOT FEAR. HIGH-FIVES ALL AROUND.

BRUINS GOALIE TIM THOMAS THINKS HE IS RAY LEWIS

Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas summoned his inner Ray Lewis and took out Toronto Maple Leaf's Jason Blake on a breakaway attempt. Earlier in the game Blake had beaten Thomas for a goal and apparently Thomas figured if he couldn't stop him with his pad why not just take him out like the Ray Lewis does to runningbacks who dare enter his zone.

After seeing this highlight I think Thomas has a future for the Atlanta Falcons. The Falcons if you don't know already have an aging linebacker in Keith Brooking but unlike Ray Lewis he can't tackle and he really can't do shit besides pile jump. In fact he was personally responsible for the Falcons losing their playoff game against the Arizona Cardinals. Tim Thomas should take his spot. Get GM Thomas Dimitroff on the phone now. Screw the draft, they got themselves a new linebacker in Boston.


Video HT: FanIQ

TITTY SONG

I believe we have a new Grammy winner.

JEFF KENT RETIRED TODAY

Mustaches everywhere will now mourn knowing one of their greatest heros besides Tom Selleck is not going to lace up the cleats anymore. Kent was not only a great second baseman who has a decent shot at Cooperstown but he also inspired millions of rednecks and guidos to grow out the prickly upper lip fuzz and display it with pride. Some guys were extremely jealous of his 70's porn stache and took it out on him. For instance Barry Bonds, who could never quite grow the proper black mustache, went after poor innocent Kent in the dugout when they were teammates in San Francisco. The envy Bond's displayed for Kent's stache was sad and yet Jeff came out looking like Clark Kent by standing up to the raging cow steroid body builder in Bonds and squashed him with his glorious follicles.


Kent would later inspire Lt. James Dangle and Junior to go into law enforcement...


You will be missed Jeffrey Franklin Kent. Well...maybe not you personally but your awesome mustache will go down in history. Today I will grow one out for you. You are a hero to mustaches everywhere.

JARRET JOHNSON IS ALL IN YOUR FACE

There are two kinds of facials. One that is naughty which I can't show. And then there is the facial that Anderson University (South Carolina) guard Jarret Johnson, who is 6'3, puts on an opposing player in the open court. Facials are entertaining and usually destroy the self esteem of the person they are performed on except Ryan Seacrest. That tool has taken a ton of facials and still is chipper to this day.

Video HT: FanIQ

TEXAS COMFORTS OKLAHOMA

Video HT: FanIQ

THANK GOD ALMIGHTY! ORIOLES SIGN MARKAKIS TO EXTENSION

As a diehard Orioles fan we have been given little to cheer about for the past decade or so but one of the players who continues to put a smile on my face is Nick Markakis. Nick the Stick is the type of player you can build a franchise around. His first 3 seasons in the Show have been impressive and you can see the progression in his game as his on base percentage continues to rise as quickly as his fanbase in Baltimore. And instead of him leaving in 3 years to go play for some other team the Orioles wrapped him up with a 6 year deal for $66 million.

Most of all this signing brings back hope for me that the Orioles are committed to building a winning franchise. With yesterday's trade for Felix Pie the O's now have a young outfield that has the potential to be one of the best in the majors for years to come. Pie will be 24 on Opening Day and was twice named the Chicago Cubs #1 prospect. He has the tools to be a great player in the American League. He will play left field next to budding superstar centerfielder Adam Jones who was acquired last year in the Erik Bedard trade. Jones has a very similar makeup to Eric Davis and at the age of 23 will just continue to get better. His defense is already great and worthy of consideration for a Gold Glove. And of course at the ripe old age of 25 is Markakis. Markakis lead all outfielders in assists with his accurate strong arm patrolling right field.

Markakis can now be the permanent face of the franchise as he will be playing the next six years in a young lineup that will also include the minor leagues #1 overall prospect in catcher Matt Wieters. Wieters is expected to have an Evan Longoria/Ryan Braun impact for Baltimore this season. They also have the holy trio of young starting power arms that scouts drool over in Jake Arrieta, Brian Matusz, and Chris Tillman all expected to make an impact in the next year or two.

This season has the potential to be a really horrible one for Baltimore with their lack of proven starting pitchers behind ace Jeremy Guthrie but the future looks bright especially with the Markakis extension. Throw in the facts that GM Andy MacPhail has upgraded international scouting and the farm system tremendously with an emphasis on young arms being developed the Orioles look like they could make a run in 2010 and beyond. They own the #5 overall pick in the 2009 MLB Draft and are projected to take another young arm in Aaron Crow who failed to sign with the Nationals last year as a top ten pick. The franchise should have another top 5 pick in 2010 also and with their commitment now to shell out the big bucks to draft picks they do take the best possible prospect on the board without the fear of not signing them.

Now all this has me leaning toward ordering the 2009 MLB package for $169 to watch the Orioles. Sure they will probably suck this year but the young guys will play and they will continue to get better. I just can't wait till the day when the Orioles beat the shit out of all those Yankees and Red Sox teams with their bandwagon fans. That will be a sweet day!

CLEMSON STUDENT TAKES OUT WAKE FOREST CHAS MCFARLAND

Wake Forest forward Chas McFarland got straight up body slammed by a Clemson student. Give that kid a cheerleading outfit. His school spirit is ferocious.

HAPPY MLK DAY EVERYBODY!

Now get off my lawn! Just kidding of course. Martin Luther King Jr. was a great American and stood for what was right and was not afraid to go against the norm. You have to admire a man with King's heart and his "I have a dream" speech still gives me goosebumps to this day.

But right now my dream is for this hangover to go away. Maybe a drink or ten would help. It's about consistency.

NOTRE DAME TO HIRE BRYANT YOUNG AND TIM GRUNHARD AS GRAD ASSISTANTS

Former Notre Dame greats Bryant Young and Tim Grunhard are suppose to be announced as upcoming graduate assistants according to multiple internet sources. Young, a future NFL Hall of Famer for the San Francisco 49ers, was one of my favorite players back in the early 90's and always brought with him a tremendous work ethic to the game which hopefully will translate to his coaching abilities. The Fighting Irish have quite a few potential young superstars on the d-line including Ethan Johnson and Darius Fleming who could learn a lot from Young.

Grunhard will work with the offensive linemen and the NFL veteran was a badass center on the 1988 National Championship team. The Fighting Irish have three centers on their current roster including starter Dan Wenger and backups Braxton Cave and Mike Golic Jr. so I would presume they would get a lot of one-on-one instruction from Grunhard.

Young and Grunhard should also help with recruiting next season. It always a luxury to have coaches who are house hold names going into recruit's living rooms. With the firing of offensive line coach John Latina and defensive line coach Jappy Oliver this offseason it is apparent that Charlie Weis is coaching for his job in 2009. Young and Grunhard are welcomed additions back to the Notre Dame family and should be tremendous assets to Weis who can teach the players the proper techniques and fundamentals of line play. Hopefully they can also teach the players the proper strength conditioning so they can start pushing around teams instead of vice versa.

Pictures courtesy of BlueandGold.com

STEELERS KNOCK OUT RAVENS

NFL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME PREDICTIONS

EAGLES OVER CARDINALS-I have a rooting interest in this game and it lies on Donovan McNabb's right arm. McNabb has had to put up with so much shit from Philly fans and the media ever since he got drafted and he has handled it all with class and dignity. I want Donovan to get his Super Bowl ring and I believe guys like Brian Dawkins and Brian Westbrook will play huge roles in a tough win over the Cardinals. Philadelphia 24 Arizona 21

STEELERS OVER RAVENS-This hard hitting AFC North rivalry game will be the third edition this season. The Steelers won the first two thanks to an incredible defense that made Joe Flacco look like the rookie he is. The Ravens are coming off a hard fought win in Tennessee and haven't had an off week since the second week of the season. They are beat up and battered and the Steelers come in fresh and rolling after destroying the Chargers last week. I want the Ravens to win but I think the Steelers have the better team and if they don't turnover the ball they should be able to handle the Ravens especially if they stop their run game.
Pittsburgh 20 Baltimore 7

KOBE BRYANT HAS HUGE TESTICLES

The Lakers still lost just like that girl in Colorado.

THIS COMMERCIAL IS NOT APPROVED FOR THE SUPER BOWL

If you listen to the Howard Stern Show you should know all about AshleyMadison.com. It's a website designed to help adulterers meet other adulterers. Good family fun right? Well, not according to the NFL who not only rejected the commercial for the Super Bowl in two weeks but also said it could never air one during any of their NFL broadcasts.

It's great to know the NFL has their moral compass pointed in the right direction. That is until Michael Vick starts taking snaps in Oakland.

HERO OF THE YEAR

His name is Chesley Sullenberger and he was the pilot of US Airlines Flight 1549 who safely landed his plane into the Hudson River in New York after some crazy suicidal birds flew into the engines. The former US Air Force fighter pilot from California with over 40 years of flight experience goes by the name of "Sully" but in my book this guy should be named Hero and given a statue as big as the Statue of Liberty after saving all those people on board.

Sully, if you read this please note that I am flying out to Las Vegas next weekend and I would be honored to have you captain the flight. Actually I would be honored and thankful if you would captain every single flight for the rest of your life or mine.

Anyway, kudos to Sully and I'm serious about honoring this guy in New York. If you are going to honor douchebags cheaters like Danny Almonte and Jeffrey Maier you sure as hell better give this hero some recognition.



I will do a toast to you tonight Sully. This Newcastle is to you.

PETE CARROLL IS A WHINY BITCH

Obviously Pete Carroll is pissed at QB Mark Sanchez for leaving to pursue his dream of playing in the NFL because he knows with Sanchez next season they have a great shot at going undefeated. But why the crybaby routine Petey? Sanchez fulfilled his commitment to USC and himself by staying for four years and completing his degree. Yes, he could have come back for a 5th season and taken dancing classes like Matt Leinart did but we all saw what the spotlight did to Leinart during that final season. Leinart was projected to be the #1 pick in the draft going to San Francisco but instead decided to Fight On or as Reggie Bush would say Cheat On for one more season. He fell to the #10 pick and lost millions in the process.

Pete Carroll needs to show some class and congratulate Mark Sanchez for all that he has done for the program. Don't be a selfish prick and state that you didn't agree with his decision. Instead thank him for putting up with all the dead hookers you made him shove back under your desk during his freshman orientation. Sanchez made the right decision in my opinion and it's not because I'm a Notre Dame fan. Look at the quarterbacks coming out this year. Besides Matthew Stafford (If you want to see class look at the way Mark Richt handled Stafford and Knowshon leaving last week) there really isn't a quarterback coming out in this draft with top 10 potential. Sanchez does not have a lot of starts in his back pocket and so Stafford does have the upper hand in that department but NFL scouts tend to forget those things as soon as the combine starts. Sanchez could wow a lot of the NFL personnel especially a team as dumb as the Detroit Lions into taking him #1 overall. Next year he would have been competing with Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, Tim Tebow, Zac Robinson and some other juniors such as a Jimmy Clausen for the #1 QB spot. Sure he could have beat them all out and been the #1 pick but he could also suffer a terrible injury and/or been overly scrutinized like Leinart and Brady Quinn were and drop in the draft.

The key to the draft is going in while you are hot. Sanchez had his best game of his career in destroying Penn State for four TDs in the Rose Bowl. Could you imagine if Mack Brown would have thrown a hissy fit over Vince Young deciding to leave instead of not coming back for his 5th season? The media, fans, and incoming recruits would have torn him up. But somehow Carroll will get a pass for this shit just like the whole Reggie Bush fiasco. The NCAA and the media will continue to lick and massage the filthy Trojans and Pete Carroll until their mouths are tainted cardinal and gold.

I won't be that person. Congratulations Mark Sanchez. You made the right decision for yourself.

MY JOB INTERVIEW

These are tough times we are living in right now with the economy going to shit, people's houses being foreclosed on and the porn industry suffering it's biggest downfall since bestiality started hitting the shelves back in the early 80's. So I figured I would tune up my resume and present it to those poor saps who work in cubicles that spend more time on Facebook than they do on a spread sheet while counting down the seconds till 5 pm.

As you can see my work experience and people skills are not exactly stellar for future employment of any kind besides mop boy at the local Sneak a Peek booth shop...


Okay, I know what you are thinking and yes, that is not me. But it points out my lazy habits to future employers. Instead of making my own video I merely rip one off of FunnyorDie and claim it as my own. In essence the video encapsulates everything about myself without having to actually put much effort into it. One of these days I might get a "desk" job and be as miserable as all of my other friends and family who had one or currently die in one today. But right now I want to keep this Sportscrack vehicle going till it explodes or till the Feds shut me down. So if you feel like reading my worthless babble please visit the Store Page and buy a t-shirt or a helmet or a banner or even an autographed baseball or football because not only will it make you feel better about yourself but you are also getting excellent deals at way below market value for all of those items. Most if not all of the items on our store page are 25% or more below what other stores sell them for at retail value.

I also wanted to add if you are looking for an individual item that we don't sell on our store page let me know and I can see what I can do to put that particular item on our store page. An example of a request we got in the past was a Joe Namath autographed Alabama mini helmet from a good customer of ours. I looked on-line for the item and saw that most places such as Steiner Sports sold it for as much as $500. In other words they are just ripping off people. I got them for half that price at $250.
The lady bought two of them. One for herself and one to sell on Ebay. Hey, you got to do what you got to do and I hold no qualms about it. So if you have any requests let me know. Email me at matt@sportscrack.com. I promise I will get back to you within the next year.

WARM UP WITH THE REEF GIRLS

If you don't live in California or Florida right now you are experiencing the chill of the winter. To be honest it's cold as fuck in 85% of this country and we need something to warm us up especially with the doldrums of football ending soon. The Reef Girls feel our pain and do their best to warm us up in all the right spots.

CONAN HATES THE FOX NFL ROBOT

ATLANTA BRAVES ADD LOWE AND KAWAKAMI

-It looks like Frank Wren took my rant to heart last week. Facing the fallout over the failures to land either Peavy or Burnett and then letting Smoltzie leave to Boston it became apparent that the Atlanta Braves long offseason had become a nightmare. But in the last couple of days they have reached agreements with free agent Derek Lowe and Kenshin Kawakami. Lowe is a #1 starter and in my opinion is a great signing. Sure the Braves overpaid for him and would have been better off signing him to a 3 year contract instead of the 4 years at $60 million they wound up giving him but Lowe was a must get for the Braves pitching staff. He is good for 200 plus innings and the guy gets ground balls with his incredible sinker. Lowe's sinker is one of the hardest pitches to hit and also one of the hardest to lay off. It literally drops off the table about 6 inches from the plate making a hitter look like he was auditioning for a Cirque Du Soleil play. Plus the guy has a sweaty mullet which should be a hit in Atlanta.

Kawakami is another Japanese pitcher who I honestly haven't seen much of besides the Youtube stuff. He is the first Japanese born player to ever play for the Braves and scouts claim he can be a good 3 or 4 starter for the Braves. Of course the Braves overpaid for him too giving him a 3 year deal worth $24 million but it was essential to land a former MVP of his league as his stuff is not overpowering but his cutter and curve are graded out above average. Here is some Youtube video of him and his delivery brings back memories of David Cone...


So with the additions of starters Lowe, Kawakami and yes, even Vasquez stat nerd the Braves and Frank Wren in particular have answered the call when it comes to adding quality arms to a struggling pitching staff. Right now this is what I would predict Bobby Cox's 2009 rotation will look like:
1. Derek Lowe-Big postseason pitcher and a proven winner.
2. Javier Vasquez-Innings eater who should benefit from switch to NL.
3. Jair Jurrjens-Had a great rookie season and should continue to progress.
4. Kenshin Kawakami-Will win a ton of games as the 4th starter.
5. Tommy Hanson-I think the kid has a great spring and forces the Braves to put him into the rotation.

I still don't think the Braves can win the division with what they got but if they can add an outfield bat (Bobby Abreu or Jermaine Dye would be great additions to what looks like on paper as being the Major's worst outfield right now) they could be a good sleeper pick to at least contend for the Wild Card. It's going to depend on the pitching staff staying healthy and hitters like Francoeur and Kotchman maturing and matching up to their potential.

JIMMY ROLLINS DOES A MEAN RICKEY HENDERSON IMPERSONATION

Rickey Henderson was officially elected to the Hall of Fame yesterday after receiving 96% of the votes in his first year of eligibility. There is no doubt that Rickey is the greatest leadoff hitter of all time and whatever voters out there who didn't vote for him should not be allowed to cast one in the future. In fact I would recommend castration because you don't deserve to fuck anything the rest of your lives if you want to fuck Rickey like that. And we all know that Rickey didn't mess around when it came to the game on the diamond. The guy talked the talk and literally walked the walk for his entire career. Henderson was one of my favorite players growing up because he stole a ton of bases. I considered myself a pretty excellent thief king myself when it came to bases during my Little League days at Wills Park and I would mimic Rickey's crouch and the way he held his batting gloves in his hands while taking huge leadoffs to get that extra base. Between Griffey's stance, Mussina's delivery, and Rickey's leadoff and steals I would say I tried to copy all of them. With that being said I don't even come close to Jimmy Rollins. He does a dead on impersonation.

By the way if you like baseball you need to check out the MLB Network. It's all baseball 24/7 and the productions so far seems to be good. And as of this moment they don't completely focus on just those two Northeast teams like ESPN does.

RAY LEWIS TRIES TO KILL ANOTHER MAN

Ray Lewis and the Baltimore Ravens will face the Pittsburgh Steelers next week in the AFC Championship after Lewis helped lead the Ravens to a tough, defensive win over the Titans yesterday. On this play it looked like Lewis was ready to pull out the knife and take out the Titan tight end but instead decided to go for his head. The man is still alive. Those guys in Atlanta...not so much.

PERCY HARVIN SMACKING THAT URBAN MEYER ASS

Smack that Harvin!

OKLAHOMA SOONERS LOSE NC GAME AGAIN, BAND MEMBER CRIES

I literally started crying when Fox put the camera on this robust Boomer Sooner band member while the Gators celebrated. The pain, anguish and grief in those eyes was so priceless I just couldn't help myself and I uncontrollably burst out in laughter so hard that tears were inevitable. Congratulations go to the Florida Gators for capturing their second National Championship in 3 years.

The Mormons in Utah are crying too. Undefeated and yet no chance to even play for a National Championship. Here is to the loyal Utes out there. You guys deserve better and in my book you are Champions.

BCS TITLE GAME PREDICTION: BLOWOUT

The Florida Gaytors are bigger, stronger, and a hell of a lot faster than the Boomer Sooners and play great in BCS bowl games. The Sooners have the Heisman curse on their shoulders as Sam Bradford will be getting hit plenty of times tonight. It remains obvious to most readers of this blog that I don't like the Gaytors. Living in Georgia you have to go with the home state team but I have some buddies who claim they are die hard Georgia fans. In fact some of them actually attended the school. So why in the hell are they rooting for the Gaytors tonight?

I never got the notion of rooting for a team in your conference to win because you think it will make your conference look better. Georgia fans should hate anything wearing jorts with striped royal and orange running down the sides and should never root for an arch rival to win. It just doesn't make any sense. If Florida wins it only helps them and not the SEC conference as a whole. Florida gets more exposure and gains more recruits from winning this game then Georgia ever will.

It would be like me rooting for USC or the Yankees to win just because it will make my favorite teams look better. Fuck that. You never root for the enemy. And any Georgia fan who reads this blog and disagrees with me should just leave now because I hate you already. Traitor.

Anyways, the Gaytors have a shitload of speed. In fact they got more speed than a young Artie Lange. They will be running through, over, and pass the poor Sooners all night. Hell, Florida is playing tonight in their home state in front of a ton of blue chip daddy recruits in the Miami area. They will be impressive and nobody will stop Tim Tebow.

Prediction: Florida 49 Oklahoma 27

Tomorrow the arguments will start about USC, Utah, and Texas deserving more of a shot at Florida instead of Oklahoma.

Also feel free to buy a GAYTORS OR OKLAHOMO shirt if you dislike either team. Actually, stop being lazy and just visit our STORE and buy a shitload of stuff to help boost the economy called my pocket change.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY: PORN INDUSTRY SEEKS $5 BILLION FEDERAL BAILOUT

Click here for the story. If they can bailout the auto industry why not porn? The average male probably watches more porn than he uses his car.

MATTIUS OHLUND WOULD LIKE HIS CHIN BACK

Can you say Don Flamenco?



Sheldon Souray made Ohlund look like his Mini Me dog. Watching this pathetic excuse of a NHL fight brought back memories of Mike Tyson's punchout with cheat codes...


NHL Fight Video HT: FanIQ

BACKUP COLLEGE JAGS OFF THEIR HEAD COACH

BC, Boston College, Backup College or whatever the hell you want to call them fired head football coach Jeff Jagodzinski for interviewing with the New York Jets. Athletic Director Gene DeFilippo called it the hardest day of his 12 year tenure but I beg to differ. The hardest day will be the cold hard reality that Boston College is not anybody's dream job nor will it ever be. DeFilippo needs to realize this and firing Jags for interviewing for NFL head coaching jobs is not necessary.

Jagoneoffski led BC to back-to-back ACC Title game losses in his only two seasons in Chestnut Hill after replacing Tom O'brien. His two year record of 20-8 is 8 games better than Charlie Weis at Notre Dame during the same period whom he beat twice and yet Weis still has a job. I can only imagine this will hurt BC in the long run trying to find replacement coaches when knowing that the BC job is nothing but a stepping stone for a better and more lucrative coaching job elsewhere. Talk to O'brien and Tom Coughlin when you get the chance DeFilippo.

MLB HOT STOVE ACTION

-Caught in the mess of the whole John Smoltz leaving Atlanta to go play for the Sux I forgot to mention that my other favorite team, the Baltimore Orioles, have agreed to a contract with Japanese pitcher Koji Uehara. Koji will be the #2 starter for the Orioles behind Jeremy Guthrie because the Orioles lack in proven starters but I think this is an excellent signing. The 33 year old has dominated MLB All-Stars in the past and throws strikes and rarely walks people. If you watched the Orioles pitching last year the one thing they couldn't do was throw strikes. I'm hearing the contract is guaranteed $10 million with incentives that could bring it up to $16 million. This is an excellent value for a guy like Uehara whom most major league hitters haven't seen and should be pretty successful his first season in Baltimore. He has a nasty forkball that dips in to right hand hitters and away from left handed hitters and his career strike out to walk ratio is an outstanding 7 to 1. He is the first Japanese player signed by the Orioles (last team in the AL East to do it) and it should help open up the doors for the O's in the Asian market. Of course I could come up with some Japanese jokes right now but since we have a Jap pitching for us now I don't think it would be appropriate for me to say I hope he screams Bonsai as soon as he unleashes a fastball into Mark Teixeira's neck. Here is some video of Uehara making fools of MLB stars like Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi...


-In other depressing news for a veteran ballplayer who will look weird in a different uniform comes the Trevor Hoffman signing in Milwaukee. Hells Bells will now go from sunny and beautiful San Diego to the harsh climate and bitter cold of Milwaukee. This is an excellent signing for the Brewers because Hoffman converted 30 of 34 saves last year for the Padres and despite losing Sabathia and Sheets they still have a chance to compete for the Wild Card. Still, it won't seem right to see Hoffman in any other uniform but the Padres. Besides Tony Gwynn I consider Hoffman the greatest Padre and he is a sure thing for the Hall of Fame.

-The Red Sox signed Rocco Baldelli. The guy has all the talent in the world but he can't stay healthy. He won't be asked to play everyday in Boston and is looked at as more of a luxury bench player in the way the Smoltz signing come about. Baldelli has played less than a 160 games combined the last 3 seasons but he grew up a Red Sox fan and took little money from what I hear for a one year contract with the chance to prove himself. At only 27 years old he could still develop into a steal for the Red Sox.

-The Atlanta Braves have turned their attention to free agent pitcher Derek Lowe. I could get excited about this but then I remembered the Braves have pretty much swung and missed all offseason trying to acquire more talent and Lowe and his agent are probably just using the Braves to get more money out of the Mets or some other team where he will eventually sign. How did the Braves become the laughingstock of baseball so fast? Oh yeah, Frank Fucking Wren. He managed to fuck the Orioles and now he figured why not throw another dagger into my emotions and go to the Braves and totally screw them for a few years.

HOUSTON'S VON WAFER VON SUCKS

It's one thing to get rejected by Dwight Howard or Josh Smith but it is a whole other thing to get rejected by the rim like Houston Rocket's Von Wafer did yesterday. Hey, I'm not going to lie and say I wouldn't screw up the dunk because right now I would get rejected easily by an 8 foot rim but this cat is in the NBA. Shouldn't he know his limits? Maybe he should just go to church leagues like I do and claim I'm just really big and bald for an 11 year old. I had a growth spurt at 10 sister. God made me this way father. Why won't you accept me for who I am?

Video HT: FanIQ

SAY IT AIN'T SO, SMOLTZIE!

The city of Atlanta, actually make it the Southeast region of the United States, will be in mourning today as the word spreads that John Smoltz will be pitching for the Boston Red Sox next season. The 8 time All Star and lifelong Brave will leave Atlanta after 20 years of an unbelievable career to pitch in Fenway Park. It just doesn't seem right but apparently the Red Sox offered him a contract he couldn't refuse. I don't know who to blame. I'm sad, angry, and frustrated right now. Smoltz should never have to wear another uniform besides the one with the tomahawk on it. Smoltz is the Atlanta Braves. The guy is at the end of his career but...ummm...I think I'm going to go throw up now. When did loyalty become taboo?

Have fun with those Chowderheads Smoltzie...


The next person that needs to leave the Braves is GM Frank Wren. I'm sorry but the guy is a fucking idiot and has no idea how to put together a successful team. I tried reaching Wren for comment on Smoltz leaving but apparently he was too busy. Word is he is on the phone with the New York Mets working a trade of Chipper in exchange for a Turner Field Stadium of empty seats, tears and broken promises. I haven't felt this duped since Bill Gates introduced Windows 98...

MICHIGAN'S BIGGEST FAN

The dog goes by the name of Ann Arbor. What a whore!

Image HT: Barstool Sports