Just to save everyone the embarrassment that is tonight's "Lebron James ESPN Fellatio Special" I figured I would give you a heads up and tell you that multiple sources (my split personality, the mailman, the neighborhood drunk, and other various news outlets) are indicating Lebron will sign with the Miami Heat.
Lolifuckingdoo.
He will now join Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh to form the NBA's newest "Big Three." The Heat are now the odds-on favorite to win the Eastern Conference with three superstars all entering the peak of their careers. Good for them.
At least the Hawks signed Joe Johnson to a $119 million dollar deal. Brilliant idea by the Hawks front office by the way. JJ contract won't be a complete albatross on the franchise in two years when his career is all but over and no team will take his dead rotting carcass off their hands.
But anyways, enough with the Hawks. The Heat with Lebron, Wade, and Bosh will be nasty and should win 65 plus games a season on talent alone. Will they win championships? I think they could win a couple but they will still have their hands full with Orlando (who's going to match up with Dwight Howard) and the Lakers have a better all-around team from top to bottom than the Heat. Lebron could get a ring but it still won't put him up there with MJ much less Kobe.
Now the question remains: Which new teammate bangs Lebron's mom first? I'm going to go wildcard and go with Pat Riley. How else do you think they convinced him to sign in Miami? Pat has his ways.
"LeBron James is planning to announce the team with which he will sign during a one-hour special on ESPN Thursday night, ESPN The Magazine's Chris Broussard has learned through independent sources."
Independent sources being inside actually ESPN? Jesus Christ, this Lebron shit has gotten beyond ridiculous. What fucking loser would schedule a one hour "special" on himself just to announce which team he is going to sign with? Lebron. That's who. I've honestly never had a problem with Lebron before all this shit went down. He is making a spectacle of himself and honestly it's rather embarrassing. It's getting to Terrell Owens status five clinging for attention level.
And I don't want to hear this shit about ad space going to Lebron's charity. Let me guess his charity organization employs his family and friends who probably make $100 grand a year each for some bull shit nonprofit. If he really wants to donate to charity why doesn't he just take 1% of his upcoming contract and give it to them. But no, he has to let everybody know it's all about charity and how great of a guy he is.
It's all bull shit. I hope he picks the Knicks so they can start booing his ass after he turns the ball over or completely quits on his team in an important game 5 in a playoff series. After hearing about this Lebron garbage I now have more respect for Kobe. And he raped somebody.
Have fun on ESPN tomorrow Lebron. I'll make sure not to tune in.
By now you know all about the elected starters as voted by the fans. And you probably know that most fans are fucking idiots who vote for their favorite wet dream rather than vote for a guy who actually deserves to start. Example A: Jason Heyward getting voted in as a starter despite his stats being rather pedestrian. So let's get it right. These should be the starters and I picked only one player as their backup.
AMERICAN LEAGUE
First Base: Miguel Cabrera, Detroit Tigers-Putting up Triple Crown numbers in a ballpark that is not hitter friendly. His glove may be shit but his bat has been off the charts. Backup: Justin Morneau, Minnesota Twins
Second Base: Robinson Cano, New York Yankees-The fans got this one right. Cano has been outstanding all year and is the Yankees MVP this season. Backup: Dustin Pedroia, Boston Red Sox
Shortstop: Elvis Andrus, Texas Rangers-One of the main reasons why Texas has played above and beyond what they were expected to so far this season. His defense has always been excellent. Now his bat has caught up with everybody else at the shortstop position in the AL. Of course the fans voted Jeter as a starter because he bangs Minka Kelly. I would. Backup: Derek Jeter, New York Yankees
Third Base: Evan Longoria, Tampa Bay Rays-One of these days I will give back Evan his hat. Longo is on a career pace to join the Schmidt's, Brooksies, Brett's, and Chipper's as one of the best ever at the hot corner. What I'm saying is the kid is a straight up stud. Backup: Adrian Beltre, Boston Red Sox
Catcher: Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins-The best catcher in the game and it's not even close. Mauer deserves every penny he makes. Backup: John Buck, Toronto Blue Jays
DH: Vlad Guerrero, Texas Rangers-The future Hall of Famer has comeback from injuries and is again one of the most feared hitters in the game. Backup: Nobody. There shouldn't be a backup for fucking DH so fuck off Big Papi fans.
Outfield: Josh Hamilton, Texas Rangers-Until he relapses (I'm calling 2013) old Joshy is one of the most talented outfielders in the game and continues to put up monster numbers in the first half until his body breaks down in the second half. Don't get mad. It's the truth. Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle Mariners-I'm probably bias here because I have a raging rockhard for all things Ichiro and this year he still continues to be the best leadoff hitter in the game. Carl Crawford, Tampa Bay Rays-I love watching Crawford play. He's the best defensive left fielder since....well, ever. He steals bases, hits line drives, gets on base, and scores a shitload of runs. And yes, it will absolutely suck balls to see him wearing pinstripes next year. Backups: Torii Hunter, Anaheim Angels; Nick Swisher, New York Yankees; Brennan Boesch, Detroit Tigers
NATIONAL LEAGUE
First Base: Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals-He is still King Albert when it comes to all-around MLB game. FWIW Votto did make it an extremely difficult decision with his outstanding first half though. Backup: Joey Votto, Cincinnati Reds
Second Base: Martin Prado, Atlanta Braves-The fans really fucked up this one but in the grand scheme of things Prado will still be the starter with Chase Utley out with an injury. Prado has been the Braves MVP and leader. Plus he has to deal with Escobar every day. He should get a Nobel Peace Prize for not beating the shit out of him. Backup: Brandon Phillips, Cincinnati Reds
Shortstop: Hanley Ramirez, Florida Marlins-The guy is a shitty teammate no doubt but he is still the best offensive shortstop in the game. He is Manny 2.0 without the dreads. Backup: Troy Tulowitzki
Third Base: David Wright, New York Mets-Thank god the fans got this one right at the end. For a second there it looked like Placido Polanco might start and that would have been a travesty. Wright is his having a MVP season and deserves to start. Bravo fans. You got it right. Backup: Scott Rolen, Cincinnati Reds
Catcher: Miguel Olivo, Colorado Rockies-Fuck the overrated Molina brother in St. Louis. Olivo has the highest OPS for catchers and deserves to be at the game even over Brian McCann. Backup: Brian McCann, Atlanta Braves
Outfield: Ryan Braun, Milwaukee Brewers-Not a typical Braun season but he is still one of the most feared hitters in the game and I'm positive he will have a monster second half. Andre Ethier, Los Angeles Dodgers-Andre the Giant has emerged as a superstar and even outshined Matt Kemp and Manny Ramirez in LA. Andrew McCutchen, Pittsburgh Pirates-Only 23 years old and heading to elite status quickly. He has future 30/30 seasons on the horizon and could do 40/40 if he continues to develop. Backups: Josh Willingham, Washington Nationals; Corey Hart, Milwaukee Brewers; Chris Young, Arizona Diamondbacks
And if I was going to pick two starting pitchers I would go with Ubaldo Jimenez of the Colorado Rockies and Cliff Lee of the Seattle Mariners.
Feel free to disagree in the comments section or you can email me directly at fukauf@sportscrack.com
Red's first baseman Joey Votto got totally fucked on the All-Star snub this year and deserves your vote to get him into the game. If Omar Infante can make the team there is absolutely no reason why Votto shouldn't be there. The Infante pick I thought was a practical joke when I first read it. Both Billy Wagner and Troy Glaus have been more All-Star worthy than Infante and I get the whole "he can play anywhere" blah blah bull shit but he still isn't an All-Star.
Do the right thing folks and vote for Votto. Now.
I will have the SportsCrack.com final All-Star ballot later today.
The mass exodus from the sinking ship of USC football continues. Unfortunately for the top recruits Lane Kiffin won't let them leave. The nation's #1 tackle prospect Seantrel Henderson failed to show up for USC freshman orientation and is all but assumed will be playing his college ball elsewhere says GopherNation but will have to fight Kiffin to release him...
Reportedly, Seantrel Henderson wants out of his Letter of Intent to play football for Lane Kiffin and his USC Trojans. Last week Kiffin, the elder Kiffin, recruiting whiz Ed Orgeron, offensive line coach James Cregg and maybe even Will Farrell and Snoop (though that is unconfirmed and highly unlikely) took a jet to the Twin Cities when Seantrel failed to show up for USC orientation. The damage control committee returned this week to make a second pitch to the nation's #1 incoming offensive lineman.
This just shows you how fucking pathetic the Trojans are getting these days. Henderson obviously doesn't want to play for them and the coaching staff just can't let it go. Move on. He doesn't love you anymore. If he hasn't returned your calls take the hint you crazy bitch.
Playing at The U. makes sense for the 6-8, 330-pounder as his family, who plans to relocate to wherever Henderson lands, preferred a warm-weather location anyway. Henderson also has a friendship with Minnesota Vikings offensive tackle Bryant McKinnie, who played for the Hurricanes.
I don't understand what the fascination is with the Miami football program for recruits. Randy Shannon is a terrible coach and they don't even come close to producing the NFL stars like they did in the past. Of course it is down in Coral Gables and the scenery is unbelievable and once you are a Cane then you pretty much own the city from what we've been told.
Captain America* is back to give you his betting advice for the World Cup quarterfinals...
Well, folks, here we go. We’re almost through the first break in action from the World Cup’s exciting first round and nail biting round of 16, and it’s on to the quarterfinals. You might feel that, like USC’s football program, the best days of the cup are behind us since the untimely elimination of team USA, but the excitement is just beginning. Here’s a quick rundown with a few points of interest for all of you sportscrackheads:
GAME 1: Netherlands vs. Brazil
Friday, July 2, 10AM EDT
Great matchup of the 5 time winner and the consistent under-achiever. The Oranje of Holland have had some of the greatest teams in history and only one European Championship to show for it. Not sure if this team has what it takes to beat Brazil, who could easily field three separate teams in this tournament and reach the final with two of them.
Why you should watch: The Dutch fans are freaking awesome: brass bands, orange paint, beer and gorgeous women, and star Arjen Robben’s last name probably makes Nelson Mandela scream in his sleep. Plus, he looks like your math professor. Watching Brazil at times looks like the Harlem Globetrotters on grass. Many don’t realize that they are monsters too, and can play a physical game when they need to. This should be an amazing game.
Bet: I’m picking the underdog Dutch. It’s a longshot, and a cup without Brazil is a lot less fun, but I want to see a new winner and historically the Dutch are due.
GAME 2: Uraguay vs. Ghana
Friday, July 2, 2:30PM EDT
Here are two teams nobody was expecting. Uruguay own two titles, but they were in 1930 and 1950. The last great Uruguayan player was Enzo Francescoli who retired well over a decade ago. Superstar Diego Forlan might be the man to fill his shoes. Ghana is here because the USA thinks the game starts five minutes after the whistle blows. Their greatest player, Michael Essien, didn’t make the roster after an injury. They have shown skill at times, but mostly are thuggish and defensive. Plus they are called the Black Stars, but wear red and yellow striped oompah-loompah uniforms.
Why you should watch: It would be a great story to see Uruguay return to the top after 50 plus years. Ghana knocked out the USA, so they need to go. Plus, Freddy Adu’s career has been rough enough without having the country he fled making the semi-finals while he watches team USA struggle to score from his crummy Greek league team.
Bet: Uruguay, and it shouldn’t be close.
GAME 3: Argentina vs. Germany
Saturday, July 3, 10AM EDT
This is the big one. Three time winners Germany and three time winners Argentina, both playing at their peak and with a long and bitter history, fighting for a likely spot in the final. Argentina is on a scoring tirade and is coached by one of the two greatest players of all time, who also happens to be bat-shit crazy. He might be a genius too, deflecting attention from the team and onto himself, resulting in some relaxed and artful soccer. Germany is a machine. They play with precision, run hard, don’t dive and cry and just hammer teams into submission. Two differing styles, two great pedigrees. Awesome.
Why you should watch: Maradona is insane. He’s a wild haired coke addict and a communist with a stapled stomach, squeezing into a suit too small for him. He has no coaching skills other than hugging and telling everyone he loves them. He makes outrageous and insulting comments. He has a history of wild accusations of corruption and death threats. Well, maybe he’s been right the whole time, and is actually a genius. And since the exit of France (Ribery) and England (Rooney), Carlos Tevez is the last remaining Disney character in the tournament.
As for Germany, star Bastian Schweinsteiger’s last name might indicate that his ancestors had sex with pigs, their nickname is “Die Mannshcaft”, and their coach eats his own boogers.
Bet: I think Germany is going all the way. Expect them to roll up the goals early, and then expect Argentina to try to cheat and Maradona to make a scene. Should be epic.
GAME 4: Spain vs. Paraguay
Saturday, July 3, 2:30PM EDT
Spain came into this tournament as a favorite, but we’ve heard that before. They are a lot like Holland in having great players and great teams that just can’t seem to win the big one. They are current European champions and have some incredible talent, but losses to Switzerland in the first round and a thumping by the USA in last summer’s Confederations Cup leaves us wondering who the real Spain is. Plus I sense some tension in the team as certain stars sit the bench (Fabregas) while others struggle on the field (Torres). Paraguay might have another advantage: They are from South America. South American teams have been very good in this tournament. It might be climate, it might be altitude, or it might be the smell, but for some reason they seem to be clicking. But despite some great players and goal scorers, they had to defeat Japan in penalties to get here and are probably fatigued. Spain will run as hard as Japan and are just better. I think!
Why you should watch: The further Paraguay goes, the better chance we have of seeing more of this:
Bet: Hard to not pick Spain, and my desire for a new cup winner lies with them and Holland. But if there is going to be an upset, this would be the one to watch.
So there you have it. Should be a great couple of days. These last two without games have been unbearable. Luckily I can still get my fix on Fox Soccer Channel with Lara Baldaserra.
In other news, Kennesaw, GA hosted the WPS All-Star game last night, and nobody gave a shit. Until next time I leave you with this video of soccer hooligans. Enjoy.
Signed,
Captain America*
*=in no way related to or in violation of Marvel Comics and their creations
University of Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans (met him twice, seemed like a great guy you could hang out with in a bar and get a drink or ten with) was busted last night for DUI in Atlanta according to the AJC...
A Georgia State Patrol trooper pulled over Evans, in his 2009 BMW, shortly before midnight at Roswell Road and Chastain Drive.
"The trooper made the traffic stop after observing the manner he was driving," said Gordy Wright, the state patrol spokesman. "He got him stopped, detected an odor of alcohol, administered field sobriety tests and determined he was less safe to be driving."
The trooper arrested him on charges of DUI and failure to maintain his lane, and took him to the Atlanta city jail. Evans refused to take a breath test, Wright said.
I'm not here to get all high and mighty in regards to Evans. I'm far from a saint when it comes to the "had one too many" before getting behind the wheel. Evans obviously fucked up and it makes him look like an idiot with his video from last year telling Georgia students and fans not to drink and drive. The guy will probably be fired because the school will be forced to make him an example of what you don't want your athletic director to do while away from his job. It's unfortunate too because Evans has done a tremendous job within the program since he took over in 2004. And guess what's ironic about today for Evans? He is due to get a $110,000 raise on a new contract effective starting today, July 1st. OUCH.
UGA President Michael Adams had this money quote in regards to Evans:
“I think he’s done an extraordinary job. … And there’s not been a whiff of impropriety during that six-year period. If you’re the president of an institution, that means a whole lot.”
There has now been a "whiff" of strong booze. Judging from his mugshot Evans looks like a Captain Morgans fan to me. You can't tell from the picture because it's cropped out but I've been told he had his right leg up with his arms bent to touch his hips. Look on the bright side, he can start pitching their product to all the UGA students and prospective students. "Get a little Captain in ya Dawg!"
Notre Dame lost out on QB Bubba Starling last week when he pulled a bit of a surprise and decided to commit to Nebraska. Part of the reason why Starling committed to Nebraska despite being a heavy lean to Notre Dame was because of his elite baseball status as a prospect and the fact that Notre Dame currently doesn't have a head baseball coach. What looked like a big loss for the Notre Dame football program could become a blessing with the opening of a spot now available for Tampa's Plant High School rising senior Phillip Ely.
Ely is a 4 star QB who replaced now Georgia Bulldogs starter Aaron Murray during his sophomore season when Murray went down with injury. Not a big kid (6'1 186) Ely relies on a quick release to avoid the pass rush and appears to read defenses extremely well. He is being heavily recruited by the likes of LSU, Clemson, and Arizona State. On Tuesday he drove up to South Bend along with his coach to work out for Notre Dame coaches. As you know the drive from Tampa to upstate Indiana isn't very close and this is a great sign that if his workout/tryout goes well that Notre Dame will be picking up the commitment from Ely.
Dayne Crist has three years of eligibility left and will most certainly be the starter in 2010 and 2011. The 5 star QB from California has the tools to be a high draft pick after 2011 and in all likelihood won't come back in 2012 unless he can get into grad school (you can only get a 5th year of eligibility at ND if you qualify for graduate school). The program has 3 freshman this season in Andrew Hendrix, Luke Massa and Tommy Rees who will all compete with Ely to be Crist's replacement if in fact Ely does decide on Notre Dame. Ely looks like a great fit for Brian Kelly's spread offense and has the athleticism to thrive. He also is a proven winner by leading Plant HS to the 5-A State Championships last season, no easy feat in the talent-rich state of Florida.
Lingerie model Larissa Riquelme is a huge fan of her native Paraguay and has gone on record stating she will strip down naked and run through the streets of my dreams if they win the World Cup. Take a wild guess who just became Paraguay's #1 fan. Yep, this guy. The 24 year old model has been photographed numerous times cheering on Paraguay with her cell phone nestling oh so gently between her enormous personality. That Yankees fan could learn something from her.
Just when you think Michael Vick might have turned the corner and actually tried to be a decent human being by surrounding himself with good people with the best intentions for him comes this story about a "Birthday Party shooting" from last week. I don't know about you but I have never equated birthday party with gun shot victim but hey, that's just me. I didn't post anything last week about the incident because Vick's lawyer claimed his client left way before the shooting ever happened with the victim of the shooting being none other than Quanis Phillips, a co-defendant in the dogfighting case. It seemed fishy and now it gets even more interesting...
An unidentified eyewitness told the newspaper that shooting victim Quanis Phillips, a co-defendant in the Vick dogfighting case, tapped or slapped on the hand of Vick’s fiancee, Kijafa Frink, as she fed Vick cake. He said little cake touched Vick’s face, but words were exchanged.
So basically Quanis got shot because he might have disrespected Vick's fiance. Not only was Vick dumb enough to throw a birthday party near his hometown of Virginia Beach but he also managed to bring along his thug buddies just in case someone "disrespected" him. Vick is so fucking dumb I wouldn't be shocked one bit to hear he actually pulled the trigger. I'm starting to think he has just taken one too many hits to the head or is mentally challenged. Seriously.
Just think about it for a second. If you have to worry about being shot at during a birthday party then you are either hanging out in the wrong neighborhood and/or with the wrong people. Vick has yet to realize anything. He has money but is too dimwitted to surround himself with people who don't break the law. The guy is a convicted felon. To each their own?
BarStoolSports has this video footage of some jackass Yankees fan yapping away on his cell phone instead of actually paying attention to the baseball game. This kind of shit happens in every ball park but what doesn't happen is a straight kisser to the face with a camera right on you for everybody to mock and laugh. I can only imagine how the conversation on the phone went: "Yeah, I got these fucking awesome tickets, I can see Jetah's ass. It's so fucking perfect I can smell it. It smells like 27 Championships! SMACK! I gotta go."
Gotta give Matty Ice all the credit in the world, he called it on Facebook yesterday, Braves score 4 off of Strasburg. The kid is good, he's very very good, but as the Bravos proved last night, he's not Jesus, he is hittable, and he can lose. After 4 starts in the pros, the Strasburg for All Star team has got to stop. Like I said in a previous post, let the kid prove his worth. Uber talent is just that, uber talent. Granted, all 4 of his starts have been impressive, but you had to love how the Braves made him work, made him sweat, and proved that this season isn't a fluke. It's an absolute shame that despite Hudson throwing yet another gem, his performance is overshadowed by the disbelief that Strasburg actually looked... wait for it... wait for it... HUMAN! While South Park has nothing to do with the Braves or Tim Hudson, I couldn't resist... GO TIMMY! and GO BRAVOS!!!
Ok, I admit, I'm biased. I believe UGA will run the table every year... Not really, but as UGA grad, I'm just throwing it out there. Even as a biased UGA grad who may literally bleed Red and Black year after year, who in their right mind could possibly even fathom ranking UGA, a perennial top 25 team, #64 out of 120 Football Bowl Subdivision teams?!?!?! Seriously... whatever the guy from the Orlando Sentinel is smoking should be handed out on every street corner. Somehow I suspect that whatever he's on, it is Orange and Blue and GAY-tor flavored. Check out Jeremy Fowler's article from the Orlando Sentinel here College Football 2010 Countdown: No. 64 Georgia. Try and figure out what he's smoking then pass some to the left please...
Yep. I want to see the kid fall flat on his face. You know why? Because I root for the Atlanta Braves. Not the Washington Nationals. I'm not going to make it to The Ted tonight but I've already asked some of my friends whom are Braves fans in attendance to please not cheer for Strasburg when he is introduced or whenever he strikes out a Braves hitter. Atlanta fans can be strange. They are almost too nice. They gave Cal Ripken Jr. a standing ovation when he hit a home run during his final season. I know because I was there wearing a Ripken jersey. I guess it's a respect thing with Ripken but I was taught not to cheer for the other team because you know...you want your team to win. I have this deep fear that "Braves fans" will stand up and cheer for the kid if he strikes out Prado to start off the game. Please don't. Cheer for the Braves. Nobody else. If you are going to be fair weather you might as well be it for your home team.
Prediction: Braves 6 Nationals 2...Strasburg out after the 6th inning for his second loss of his career.
Video HT: Extra Mustard. By the way that chick took it like a champ. She didn't cry or pout like some Italian soccer player. She got up and dusted herself off and laughed. Bravo. Now go get em champ!
These candid shots of actress Kelly Brook frolicking in Barbados come via WWTDD via SplashNewsOnline and I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being you Kelly.
The Tampa Bay Rays have been playing like garbage for the past 16 games and have seen their once MLB best record slide and now sit in 3rd place in the ultra competitive AL East (minus the horrific Baltimore Orioles). BJ Upton pulled the Hanley Ramirez card yesterday on a ball hit into the gap by jogging lightly to get to the ball. The hit resulted into a triple and of course the Rays went on to lose the game.
Teammate Evan Longoria did what everybody else on the team was thinking but didn't have the balls to say to Upton. He questioned his lack of effort. BJ blew up on him because he is a shitty teammate. I know I have said this before but baseball is a lazy man sport. It's not like football, basketball or hockey where you are constantly on the move and must pay attention at all times or you could seriously fuck up a game or even yourself by injury. All that the coaches and his teammates want to know is that BJ puts in the maximum effort and shows that he cares more about winning than the number of zeros on his paycheck.
Coach Bill Maddon has dealt with these issues before with Upton. It got so bad at one point that Maddon wanted to send him down to the minors but management refused. Yesterday pointed out that they need to do the right thing and send him down and call up Desmond Jennings. The Rays are too good of a team to be playing as badly as they are right now. They don't need a sour apple in BJ who could care less about winning and helping his teammates.
Or they could just fire Maddon in a couple of weeks like the Marlins did. I would donate my left nut to have Maddon is Baltimore just like I can't wait for Fredi Gonzalez to be coaching in Atlanta next season. I find it amusing they kept BJ in the game. It's not like the guy is a superstar. His talent is incredible but he doesn't have the mentality right now to be a starter in the majors much less a talented team like the Rays.
Get rid of him Tampa Bay. Don't let the Yankees or Red Sox run away with the division. Make a statement that you won't to compete and do it the right way.
As you may know I have little knowledge of Ultimate Fighting/MMA. I'm more of a boxing type of guy. But one of our readers thought she could chime in on this weekend's big event. I told her to bring it on. Here is guest writer Alexia Krause thoughts...
The Strikeforce event on June 26th is bound to be one for the books as Strikeforce mixed martial arts joins up with M-1 Global to bring some of the toughest fighters in the world together within one caged ring. This is an extra special event because it combines Strikeforce MMA with M-1 Global, which allows it to be a complete world showcase of some of the world's best fighters. This showcase has a huge title card as Fedor Emelianenko (who is actually a co-owner of M-1 Global) takes on Fabricio Werdum in a heavyweight bout that promises to entertain.
Fedor Emelianenko- also known as "The Last Emperor"- holds a record of 31-1. His only recorded loss comes from the fact that his fight with Tsuyoshi Kohsaka was stopped when Emelianenko suffered a gash in the opening seconds of the fight. Even though he has a loss to tarnish his undefeated streak, "The Last Emperor" understands that numbers don't mean anything when you're inside the cage.
"Fedor" has been at the top as the best heavyweight in the world for the better part of the last decade. He has taken down Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipović, Mark Coleman, and Antônio Rodrigo Nogueira on his way there. On June 26th, he goes up against Fabricio Werdum (the number 9 heavyweight in the world) for a showdown that's bound to define the two fighters and the event.
Even though Emelianenko is the top heavyweight in the world he will have a lot on his hands going up against the jiu-jitsu technician, Fabricio Werdum. Werdum is known as "Vai Cavalo" or "Leading Horse" which speaks to his wild and free nature in the ring. It looks like it will be Emelianenko's job to tame Werdum if he wants victory.
However, the June 26th Strikeforce will not just be the main event. In fact, many more people are looking forward to the top woman in the world, Cris "Cyborg" Santos taking on Jan Finney. Most feel that Cyborg will take out Finney pretty easily and glide on to an effortless victory (even more so considering that Finney's nickname is "Cuddles"), but Finney has been known to be scrappy making the fight a good one to watch.
Plus, seeing Cris Cyborg in action is always an event in itself:
With both the male and female champions defending their titles on the same night, the June 26th Strikeforce event is destined to be an exciting evening for MMA fans.
Alexia is a lifelong fan of sports and fitness. Recently, she's been obsessed with MMA. As a result, she has joined forces with MMA Industries- purveyors of widely popular MMA training gloves and shirts. Alexia has been writing about the latest developments in MMA equipment for the past few years, and continues to bring you the latest news in the mixed martial arts world.
Yes. Keep on jumping. Let your body rock. Everybody. Keep on. Keep on.
Holy shit that stupid song is going to be in my head all weekend. Landon Donovan might have a hat trick tomorrow but it won't matter. All I will be thinking about is this stupid song. But honestly who cares about the song. It's models playing fake soccer and grabbing ass and shit. That's about as American as you can get. Today is all about looking at girls in skimpy outfits playing mooseknuckle games. Tomorrow we beat the shit out of Ghana and all of those FIFA refs who keep screwing us over.
I just checked the odds and the American team is 33/1 to win the whole thing. Not bad considering Spain is 5/1 and might not even make the round of 16. Keep giving us no respect odds makers. The Americans eat that shit up.
I don't care who you are. If this video doesn't get your blood pumping or the goosebumps going then you are sad, angry person.
Tomorrow the USA Soccer team has a chance to make the elite eight of the world with a win over Ghana. In a sport where we are the clear underdogs because soccer is about the 4th or 5th most popular sport in our country whereas it's everything for most of the world, it shows how far our country has come in terms of developing a respectable team.
Show some national pride tomorrow. Root for the Yanks! Fuck Ghana! Go USA! USA! USA!
Alexander Ovechkin was accepting the NHL Players Choice for MVP Award last night when the NHL decided to pull a Grammy Awards and cut off their best player right in the middle of his speech. Ovie was obviously immune to the "cue the music to cut this cat off" part of the awards show and just stayed there and finished his speech. Badass. Too bad this was only shown in Canada live because if it was shown here I'm sure there would have been at least 8 puckheads watching on Versus.
With the Wizards now set to draft John Wall tonight and the Expos already have the great Stephen Strasburg who is now the most popular and marketable sports figure in the DC area? Personally Ovechkin is my favorite and I think he has the best personality by far but the NHL is in the dumps when it comes to marketing. Wall could be a huge star for the Wizards or he could become another Kenny Anderson. Strasburg looks like a complete stud but he only plays once every five games and he is a Mark Prior arm injury away from vanishing to could have been. What about Donovan McNabb? I know the new Redskins QB is rather old but what if he leads the Skins to the Super Bowl? Washington will always be a Redskin town and if they did run the table they would probably hand McNabb the keys to Obama's hidden bunker.
Anyways you be the judge. Who is the biggest sports star in Washington D.C? Vote on the upper right tool bar.
Mexican hottie Salma Hayek has been rocking the big screen since the mid 90's and yet she continues to get hotter. I don't get it. Did she and Demi Moore make a deal with the devil/Hollywood that they would continue to get better looking bodies while their looks matured? Whatever they did they have found the complete opposite luck of other starlets such as Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid. I guess it's called "staying away from crack and booze" and a little thing called exercise. Whatever it is all I can say is Salma is still the bomb and at the premiere of her new film "Grown Ups" in New York City she brought out the big guns.
Before Elin Nordegren met Tiger Woods she was a Swedish nanny along with her twin sister for professional golfer Jesper Parnevik. Her duties included changing diapers, looking hot, and taking the kids to the pool along with feeding them and traveling around the world. She had a tough life I know. Then Parnevik hooked up fellow golfer Tiger Woods, you may have heard of him, with a date with the blonde bombshell. Then they fell in love and got married and had kids and everything seemed wonderful. Until Tiger's hundreds of mistresses started coming out of the closet. The marriage quickly fizzled and now divorce is all but certain. Elin was humiliated and claimed to have no idea her husband was an athlete who liked to fuck other broads on the road and in this case even in their house. She had her head so far buried in the sand she could have struck oil.
And in the long run guess what this got her? $750 million dollars!
The final divorce is imminent, a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com.
“They’ve agreed on all the major points,” one source told us. “It’s all been worked out privately.
“Both Tiger and Elin are very close to finishing the negotiations and filing and signing the paperwork.”
Elin is expected to receive approximately $750 million in the settlement.
So in terms of dollars that is $375 million per kid. If he did in fact screw 120 women as some people have claimed while married that would equate to $6.25 million per mistress. And here I am worrying about spending too much money on a sirloin steak. Tiger is about to write a check for more money than most countries GDP. FML.
Congratulations Elin! You hit the jackpot! Please come change my diaper.
Here are some more pictures of the most expensive nanny in the world...
Ok, not really, but jesus. Why doesn't this kind of shit happen at The Ted? This girl-on-girl action happened at the Dodgers-Angels clash in Anaheim in what appears to be the right centerfield stands. Those people out in California are just so damn liberal and free. If this kind of shit happened in the South or the Midwest I'm pretty positive a riot would have broken out. In Southern Cal it's just "ho hum, two chicks playing tonsil hockey, big deal!" Hopefully this becomes a widespread pandemic in the sports world. You feeling me SEC Poon country?
Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria pulled the plug today on the Fredi Gonzalez managerial stint and this couldn't have worked out any better for the Atlanta Braves. With the Braves looking to replace Cox in his farewell season Gonzalez is one of the 3 most talked about replacements (current assistant coaches Terry Pendleton and Eddie Perez being the others). Gonzalez would be a great fit for the Braves organization having already worked for Cox as a base coach. He also doesn't put up with lazy play as evidenced by his benching of star shortstop Hanley Ramirez earlier in the season.
With that being said what the fuck was Loria thinking? Yes the Marlins are sitting at 34-36 record wise and Gonzalez 3 year record is 276-279 since replacing the fired Joe Girardi (which worked out great for the Yankees) but the Marlins don't spend money on premium talent with the exception of Hanley. Loria expects the Marlins to compete for the World Series every year but doesn't want to spend the money to get there. "The J-Hey Kid" aka SI.com writer Jon Heyman hinted a couple of months ago that Gonzalez would be the ideal candidate to replace Bobby in Atlanta in 2011. Thank you Loria for giving the Braves a chance to bring him in this season for an internship.
Braves.com writer Mark Bowman caught up with Braves GM Frank Wren to get his reaction to the Gonzalez hiring and posted this on his Twitter feed.
Frank Wren says the Braves hold Fredi in high regard. But he added that he won't have any further comment until Bobby manages his final game
Yep. Gonzalez will now be manager for the Braves in 2011. It worked out for the Yankees with Girardi so let's hope history repeats itself.
I'm not a soccernut but I can say without a doubt that was the most exciting, tense game I have ever watched. The U.S Team had tons of chances to score and even got one taken away by a horrific offsides call early in the game. They hit posts and crossbars and never gave up. The score could have easily been a touchdown to nothing but the luck just wasn't on the U.S. side till the 91st minute when Landon Donovan buried a rebound in the back of the net.
With the win the U.S. advances to the round of 16 and wins their first group since 1930. 80 fucking years folks. This is history we are watching. The English also advanced with a close 1-0 win over Slovenia so there is a chance we get to play the Brits again. Right now it's looking like we will probably face Germany in the next round. Bring it on!
Donovan is going to get crazy ass down there in South Africa tonight. I can already see it....
Golden Tate rocked out the paisley argyle sweater vest and the pink loafer pants yesterday for some charity golf event. It takes a brave man and/or a very funny guy to pull off the outfit and apparently Golden is both. You could definitely stick some donuts in those pants.
That's right ya fuckfaces! Kenny Mother Fucking Powers is back this September. He's back to play real sports and he doesn't like ya! HBO will be bringing back "Eastbound and Down" in the fall and that thump you just heard was my rock hard hitting the desk in delight. Not only will college football be back in full swing but now you are going to tell me Kenny Powers aka my hero is back. God I can't wait to see the beautiful motion of one Kenny Powers back throwing heaters...
Anytime you can combine my favorite part of Saving Private Ryan (Barry Pepper's character was a complete pimp with the sniper) and those fancy soccer players taking dives you have a winner. The World Cup has been entertaining for the most part but like the Duke flop I can't stand it when the game gets taken over by bullshit acting. The ironic part is North Korea will probably use a firing squad on their team and their families after getting demolished 7-0 by Portugal. Kim Jong Il does not put up with Alex Baldwin, Hans Blix, or incompetent soccer players....
I mean seriously, what is wrong with people who root for the Phillies? They obviously can't read signs or follow directions. This guy either had a little too much Yuengling or he is fucking retarded. Let's just go with him being a Phillies fan. There is no need to explain when it comes to Satan's offspring.
I hope everybody has a glorious weekend. I hope it's safe and fun and you can do what you enjoy most. Which is probably a lot of drinking and relaxing in the sun.
This week has been frustrating due to some issues I'm not at liberty to discuss. Once I get things settled then I'm looking forward to a little karma. Here are some lyrics from Radiohead that will be resonating in my brain this weekend...
Karma police, arrest this man He talks in maths, buzzes like a fridge He's like a detuned radio
Karma police, arrest this girl She stares at me as if she owns the world And we have crashed her party
This is what you'll get This is what you'll get This is what you'll get When you mess with me
Karma police, I've given all I can It's not enough; I've given all I can But we're still on the payroll
This is what you'll get This is what you'll get This is what you'll get When you mess with me
Phew, for a minute there I lost myself I lost myself
For completely knocking the shit out of this kid. Wait for the end. Trust me it's worth the torture of listening to this jackass teenager trying to be cool.
Sammy Watkins is a future College Football free safety out of South Fort Myers High School in Florida. He is being recruited by every big time program in the South and after watching this video you can tell he has a real good nose for the football. He absolutely ruined that kid's life by laying him out. Every time that mop head turns direction he is going to have Watkin's elbow in the back of his mind. I'm actually shocked the kid got up. I probably would have sucked my thumb while pissing on myself.
I forgot to mention the Los Angeles Lakers won the NBA Title last night. If you were wondering why I forgot to mention such a huge accomplishment for the Lakers organization it was because the game was so completely boring and both teams absolutely stunk it up. Kobe Bryant was god awful but still won the MVP because everybody else besides Ron Artest had shit performances shooting the ball. I know there are a lot of Kobe fans out there and they want to put him on a pedestal now with MJ but please stop. Kobe is a great player but he still isn't close to what Jordan was and he never will be. No means no Kobe fans.
Congrats on winning your 16th Championship. It must be tough to root for a team who wins all the time. I completely know how you feel.
Let me start off by first saying that was the most exciting soccer game I have watched in a while. Slovenia is a country I had never even hear of before the World Cup started and today it looked like they were going to kick our ass by taking an early 2-0 lead. For some reason our lazy ass defenders decided they would rather be spectators after a 6 day layoff which was completely inexcusable. But the good ole U S of A fought back to tie thanks to a take your head off shot by Landon Donovan near the right post and then Michael Bradley with the beautiful follow in the 82nd minute. But then of course the refs had to ruin a great soccer game by calling one of the all-time bullshit calls by taking away a goal by Maurice Edu in the 86th minute by calling a US foul on the play. Nevermind that 3 of our players were literally being bear hugged during the play.
So instead of getting the win the refs took it away and gave us another fucking tie. These refs were absolutely horrible. They missed calls going both ways the whole game. Now the US will have another 5 days off before they play their next game against Algeria, one in which they will need to win if they want to advance. With the big break in between games why don't they play overtime or at least have penalty kicks? Enough with the stupid fucking ties. Nobody should ever play a sport to tie. As Herm Edwards said "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!" If they could cut out the tie garbage and also change the offsides crap (seriously there should be no offsides especially from a corner kick) then I think the game would be a lot more exciting and you know have an actual winner at the end.
But what do I know? I'm just another stupid American who doesn't get the "world" sport. Well you know what? America....America....America....FUCK YEAH!
Last week Boise State joined the Mountain West Conference and in my head I thought with the ten teams now in the conference they should get an automatic BCS bowl bid. Scratch that thought. The Utah Utes are expected to accept an invitation to become the 12th team in the new PAC-10 in what we now be a two division split.
With Utah expected to become the Pac-10's 12th team Thursday, the question arises: How will the conference split up its divisions? Most likely, new additions Colorado and Utah will play in a southern division with Arizona, Arizona State, USC and UCLA.
This is of course is great news for the Utes. They have won two BCS bowl games to finish off two undefeated seasons and they could have a chance to compete right away for a PAC-10 title. With the USC sanctions look out for the Utes in 2012. They will earn a shitload more money and get a ton of exposure in a BCS Conference. Maybe even compete for a National Title.
This royally sucks for the Mountain West Conference. They will look to add another program but replacing Utah will be tough. They were well on their way to being a legit football conference but now you have to wonder if the Big 12 will now try to pry away TCU from them. Losing TCU and Utah would make the conference bad. I'm talking Big East bad.
As you probably know I wasn't too happy earlier this week when I found out the Texas Longhorns pulled the asshole card out and decided to stick with the Big 12 Conference. I say "asshole" because they managed to convince Nebraska to leave for the Big Ten and Colorado to leave for the Pac-10 and they were playing with Oklahoma, Texas Tech, and Texas A&M who were ready to bounce where ever the Longhorns landed. Instead they stayed in a shitty conference that plays no defense and now as long as they win their annual Red River Shootout game they have a good chance of going undefeated during their powder puff regular season. This gives them an excellent chance of making the BCS Title game almost annually. It sort of like USC in the Pac-10. The competition blows in those conferences unlike the SEC and without a playoff we get stuck watching two soft teams automatically play for a championship.
Conference realignment died because the Texas football program is made up of cowards who are aware that the Longhorns program can't compete at the top levels of the SEC or the Pac-10. That's what your takeaway from the past two weeks of conference realignment really needs to be. Yep, the state that values masculine swagger more than any other in the nation features a top football program that is yella.
All hat, no cattle.
The Longhorns had offers to move on to compete with top echelon talent in the SEC and the Pac-10. Instead, like recalcitrant female cattle, they balked, choosing to remain in a weakened Big 12 that is minus two of the traditional powers in the league.
How bad is Texas' schedule now even with a round-robin nine-game slate to come in 2012? It's likely the Longhorns will have one top 25 conference game a season, the annual Texas-Oklahoma tussle in October. Meaning Texas will try and back door its way into the BCS title game each season by avoiding challenges rather than competing with the best in college football.
If Sam Houston had known the cowardice of the Longhorns in 2010, he would have forgotten the Alamo.
What's more, while Texas is a coward in the larger universe of college football, the Longhorns are a bully in their own conference, the equivalent of a mob boss extracting loyalty payments from the five weakest members. Why did Texas (along with Oklahoma and Texas A&M) take a larger share of contractual payouts owed by Colorado and Nebraska for leaving the conference?
Because it could.
But that's how bullies always behave, right?
Share They beat up on the weak and then get their asses kicked or turn tail when someone steps to them. Ask Colt McCoy and Texas about that. The Longhorns quarterback threw for 4 billion yards in his career against the sisters of the poor defenses in the Big 12. He lasted for less than a full quarter against an SEC defense. Yep, the SEC and the Pac-10 would have been the barbed wire to Texas' BCS title dreams.
And that's what the Longhorns feared more than anything. Once it joined the SEC or the Pac 10, Texas is just another program, packing a six-shooter with no bullets. Waving that gun around in the air and yelling ain't scaring away Marcell Dareus on the blitz. He's calling your bluff and slapping you with your own empty gun. People might start to realize that for all the swagger, the Longhorns have just one national title in the past 39 years, nearly two generations of failing to capture the ultimate prize. They might also realize that most years, Texas can't even get past Oklahoma, the overrated team you've last seen being stomped by whatever opponent the Sooners draw in the BCS games, title or otherwise.
That's because when it comes to Texas football, the perception of success is much greater than the reality of success. Hell, give Texas credit though, at least it's the best of a bad lot. What can you say for Oklahoma or Texas A&M? Two ostensible rival schools that had the opportunity to prove they could stand on their own in the new world order of college athletics and instead hid behind Texas' skirt. In Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare wrote during his famous balcony scene, "It is the East and Juliet is the sun!" If the bard dove into the mess that is the Big 12, he could adopt the same phraseology, "It is the Big 12 and Texas is the sun!"
Because never in the history of college athletics has one program so dominated the puny conference sisters it surrounds itself with. Texas is not just the sun, but the moon and the stars, while the rest of the teams in the conference are its piddling orbiting satellites. It's only a matter of time, one would think, before the Longhorns demand the gate for games they play on the other school's campus.
That's what mob bosses do, they take and take and take until someone kills them.
You think anyone in the Big 12 has the stones to step to Texas?
Hell no.
And if you've cast your conference lot with a program that doubles as the sun, moon and stars, it might be worth asking how you ever compete with that school. Do you think Texas is ever losing a recruit to a program that voluntarily turned over its millions so you could continue to be extorted in the future? Does the mob boss have a smaller house than the poor schmuck he takes down for more money? Those are rhetorical questions. And there's your answer right there, every other school in the conference has no desire to be number one. They're just comfortable basking in the penumbra of Texas' exaggerated greatness.
Of course, the ultimate irony of this entire mess is that the joke is on all college football fans. All of us, the poor sots who tramp to our respective campuses each week in an effort to determine the best team in the nation. Because we've actually created a BCS system that encourages bullying cowardice like Texas'. Instead of forcing the best to compete and crowning a champion on the field by rewarding the two best teams, we've created a system where avoiding challenges and beating up on weaker programs gives you an automatic invite to the BCS title game.
How else to explain Texas and Oklahoma appearing in six BCS title games between them and racking up a bully-like 2-4 record with an average margin of defeat of more than 18 points in those games? Texas isn't just a coward, it is gaming the system, rigging the results to allow them a position it can't earn on the field.
In the end we're left with only one conclusion: Deep in the heart of Texas lives a football program of cowards.
Time for a new burnt orange slogan:
Hook 'em ... unless you can run and hide from 'em.
I've always had a respect for the Texas Longhorns program so don't think I'm picking on them. I also think Notre Dame has played the coward card by not joining a conference and scheduling games with Tulsa, Western Michigan, and the usual run with the Military schools. They schedule these games because they know if they can just manage to win 9-10 games that their name is so big that they will almost automatically get into a BCS bowl game whether it is deserved or not. And I will go on record to say the only BCS game Notre Dame ever deserved to make was the 2006 Fiesta Bowl. The others were complete bullshit.
For the overall good of college football we need programs to challenge themselves and forget about the "tradition" of the bowl system and work together to form mega conferences that going forward can get us a playoff system. I know a lot of people who love the system the way it is now and don't want to change a thing. Honestly I don't understand these people. I understand that programs like Texas and Notre Dame are more concerned about getting their money for their programs and not sharing it but they have to realize that for the greater good of the sport itself they could make seismic changes by pushing forward a playoff system instead of only worrying about the number of zeros in their television and licensing contracts.
This video still cracks me up. This guy honestly might be my hero. "It's time" should go down in YouTube history. If I were Derek Dooley at Tennessee I would make BigVolDaddy the official mascot. Screw Smokey. BigVolDaddy would piss all over the competition.
AJC.COM's Carroll Rogers has the breaking news of a possible Chipper Jones retirement announcement effective at the end of the 2010 season. Say it ain't so Chip!
First I was told Chipper was going to meet with Frank Wren and Bobby Cox today to discuss his future and then talk to the media afterward, in all likelihood to say he’s leaning toward retiring at the end of the season.
Just a few minutes ago, after all this kicked up today, I was told Chipper thinks the retirement speculation is premature and doesn’t plan to talk to the media about it today.
Obviously Chipper has been struggling this year and has seen his power numbers (3 Home runs) dip while his age has soared (38 years old). Chipper is an iconic figure in Atlanta Braves history and as far as I can remember is the only Brave to spend his whole career putting on the spikes solely in Atlanta. It would suck to see Chipper go out this way since in my mind he is a first ballot Hall of Famer (his numbers at 3B put him up there with Mike Schmidt, Brooks Robinson, and George Brett for all-time greats) and he deserves the proper send off much like Bobby Cox is getting this season and the way Cal Ripken Jr. got during his final season.
Larry will be hard to replace. Braves fan and the local media are quick to point out that they can simply resign Troy Glaus (who should be starting in the All-Star Game) and shift him to third and then bring up young Freddie Freeman from Gwinnett. That would be smart if Troy wasn't coming off his age 33 season in which a typical baseball player (minus the performance enhancers) starts to decline dramatically in terms of production and health. Also Freeman has been struggling mightily at AAA with an OPS of .746, an on base percentage that is Frenchy-like and only 5 home runs in 200 plate appearances. He isn't viewed as the can't miss prospect anymore but then again he is only 20 years old and could right the ship with a couple of hot weeks in Gwinnett.
Omar Infante has done an admirable job this season filling in for both Yunel Escobar (maybe he should think about retiring considering his struggles) and Chipper but isn't seen as long term solution as a starter. Infante is great as a sub but I have my doubts he could start every day and thrive like Martin Prado. So in conclusion Braves fans should be worried about Chipper retiring not only because he will be missed as a teammate but his production will be hard to replace.
GM Frank Wren could look to go the free agent route with Jorge Cantu, Ty Wigginton, and Bradon Inge all unrestricted free agents in 2011 but none of those guys bring back the fond memories of Chipper in a Braves uniform. Hopefully Chipper will feel a rejuvenation as the season progresses and his bat comes around much like Glaus did in May. I don't want to see Chipper go out this way. He deserves the proper send off but I'm also sure Chipper's pride won't let him be a distraction and it wouldn't shock me to see him hang up the cleats abruptly like Ken Griffey Jr.
Either way Chipper will be missed in Atlanta. You can't replace a legend.
It looked like Texas was all ready to jump ship to either the SEC, PAC-10, or Big Ten and help form some super conferences and then they had to get all uppity and wanted to get some ass and start driving a Range Rover.
Orangebloods.com is reporting that Texas will now stay put in the Big 12 which will now become a ten team conference. Boring. Big 12 commissioner Dan Beebe has come up with some lucrative television deal with the conference that would pay Texas $20-25 million per season in revenue. Of course now it looks like the other teams (Oklahoma, Okie State, Texas Tech, and Texas A&M) who were all willing to jump ship on this shit hole of a conference are now going to stay put all because Texas is getting paid big time.
Damn you Texass. Now the Longhorns won't have to worry about playing Nebraska or Colorado and losing to them and instead will be playing in a conference with only one heavyweight (Oklahoma) who have too much vaginal secretion to go join another conference without Texas permission.
It was all working out so well. A&M was going to go to the SEC and the other 4 schools were going to go to the PAC-10 to join Colorado in a super conference. And then Notre Dame was going to the Big Ten and the SEC was going to steal a few ACC schools and then we would be on our way to an eventual playoff system. But no. Same old crappy bowl system and "BC$" to look forward to for the next 10 years. It's all about the money and not crowning a true national champion as always.
College football is the definition of insanity. Look it up. Here ya go.
but don't go flashing any upside down "Hook Em Horns" signs while he is at the strip club.
Titans look like they have made a wise investment with Vince Young. The guy has clearly matured since he left Austin and his leadership skills are outstanding when it comes to defending the Horns. If you are Jeff Fisher what do you say to Young? Aren't quarterbacks suppose to be the cool ones when under fire? I don't ever remember Joe Montana or John Elway throwing punches when someone made fun of Lou Holtz or the homeless guy dressed as the Stanford mascot.
If Young was not an athlete or famous he would be behind bars right now. Him and Rapelisberger should start hanging out. And by "hanging out" I mean they should spoon with each other.
WWTDD.com has the pictures of Katy Perry wearing a rubber dress split into one half American flag and one half Great Britian. What the fuck is she trying to do? Create a war I would guess. Katy darling, you are a stinkin American. I don't give a shit if you are dating some heroin junkie from England. We claimed you as soon as your enormous b...personality hit the airwaves. Don't make us hate you. Don't turn into Madonna with some fake Brit accent. The States claim you as a national treasure. Two enormous treasures.
Anywho the US tied England 1-1 in a thrilling match or so I have heard. I had a baseball game that day and missed it. Supposedly the England goalkeeper fucked up and supposedly the games still sound like they are being played in a Bees nest. I haven't had a chance to watch much of the action but "Captain America" has told me the games will get better the next round. USA doesn't play till Friday against Slovenia and why am I telling you this? No clue.
Doesn't matter because Germany is going to win. Their beer and steaks are clearly better than anything Brazil or Argentina can muster up.
