New Irish Chocolate T-Shirts

We are taking pre-orders now on the brand new IRISH CHOCOLATE AND THE SACK FACTORY T-Shirt.  Comes in two colors: Irish Green and Dark Chocolate.  These tagless tees are 50% cotton / 50% polyester to give it a soft vintage feel.  Comes in adult sizes Small-3XL.  If you would like a different size not available please email us and we will do our best to meet your needs.

Shipping starts this week so get your orders in quickly.  This will be a limited edition shirt and once they sell out that is it.

It Was That Time Of The Month For Umpire John Hirschbeck, Throws Out Bryce Harper Because He Disagrees With His Shitty Umpiring

Good lord.  Can you be anymore of a pussy there John Hirschbeck?  So what if Bryce Harper disagreed with your bullshit check swing call.  You don't throw the guy out of the game.  Some of these umpires need to realize that people don't come out and pay good money to watch their fat asses throw out star players for shit like this.  If anybody needs to be investigated by Major League Baseball for game fixing it's Hirschbeck.  I'm going to say he had big money on the under and/or Pittsburgh Pirates winning and figured the best way to win his bet was by throwing out Bryce in the first inning.  Clown move bro!

In my opinion Hirschbeck needs to serve an unpaid suspension for this.  I'm not saying the ballplayers should have free reign to shit all over the umpires but to throw out somebody for simply arguing that it was a bad call is not a good reason for an ejection.

What do you think?

Video via TheBigLead

Celtics Scrub Jordan Crawford Told Carmelo After The Game: "Dat Muhfucka Fucked Yo Wife!"

Classy HoneyNut Cheerios move by Jordan Crawford.  I got $100 that says Melo snaps out of his funk and goes off on the Celtics in Game 6.  You don't talk about someone's wife like that.  Even if she does taste like HoneyNut Cheerios which are delicious by the way.

I Miss Hockey

This Stanley Cup Playoff promo video brought back a flood of memories.  There is no better team sport to watch in person than hockey.  It's electric.  There is no taking plays off like baseball players do running down the first base line.  It's pure grit and determination to get the ultimate prize: Lord Stanley's Cup.  When the Atlanta Thrashers moved to Winnipeg because of their dipshit owners and GM I gave up on hockey.  I was too pissed off and hurt to even bother watching it anymore.  But now after seeing this video it makes me want to watch again despite not having a team allegiance.  I got to pick a team to root for though so with my Maryland roots I'm going for the Washington Capitals, the former hated Southeast division rivals of the Thrashers.  I've always liked watching Alex Ovechkin.  The guy has a personality to match his enormous talent.  Plus he fucking loves to mess with Sidney Crosby so that is cool.  Go Caps!

NBA Player Jason Collins Is Gay And Can Still Bang With Shaq According To Obama

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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In all seriousness congratulations to Jason Collins for coming out of the closet.  Not because he is a hero or anything but because of his timing we weren't succumbed to constant talk about some other closeted third-string quarterback in New York who was released the same day.  Thank you Jason Collins.

New Atlanta Falcons Stadium Looks Insane

I will be the first to admit I wasn't on board at all with building a new stadium for the Atlanta Falcons.  I've always thought the Georgia Dome was a great place to watch a football game especially when it gets cold in December and January.  Call me a pussy but the last thing I want to do is freeze my ass off while shaking uncontrollably while trying to enjoy a sip of a beer.

But now after seeing these designs I say fuck the 20-year-old Georgia Dome.  I want my impact rumble seats!  I want to know what it feels like to be Michael J. Fox watching a football game while drinking $15 beer to pay for the cost of the stadium.  Do they massage you as well?  They sure as hell better!

I also want a blimp above the new stadium so every time they open up the roof it looks like a giant asshole releasing a heavenly fart of NFL goodness.  I mean after all if we are going to ignore our horrible schools, roads, traffic and infrastructure in metro Atlanta for a shiny new stadium toy I want it to represent something bigger.  It just makes sense.  Right Tommy Boy?

Frank Caliendo's Mel Kiper Impersonation

"TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD!"

The Best Yu Darvish Gif

Just when you think the hitters have caught up to the pitching Texas Rangers starter Yu Darvish breaks out 5 pitches.  Yu Nasty!

Via BigLeadSports

2013 NFL Mock Draft

This is just for shits and giggles. Plus I wanted to see how my mock NFL Draft would compare to Mel Kiper and Todd McShay when all is said and done tonight.

1. Kansas City - Eric Fisher. Everybody has the Chiefs taking Luke Joeckel so I'm going with a mild upset pick here in Fisher. Both of them graded out the same according to scouts and I've heard head coach Andy Reid wants Fisher more than Joeckel. We will see. 2.

2.  Jacksonville - Luke Joeckel.  The Jags will go with the future left tackle only because KC didn't take him.

3.  Oakland - Sharrif Floyd.  Oakland would love to get their hands on either one of Fisher or Joeckel but since they are gone they go with the defensive tackle from Florida.

4.  Philadelphia - Geno Smith.  The Eagles need a QB in the worst way.  Geno appears to be the best guy in a horrible QB draft class.

5.  Detroit - Lane Johnson.  Gotta protect Matthew Stafford.

6.  Cleveland - Dion Jordan.  Overrated in my opinion he should be a great fit in Cleveland for that god awful franchise.

7.  Arizona - Star Lotulelei.  This is the one guy in this draft who is a can't miss prospect if he stays healthy.  Star is a dominant force and is a great pick for the Cardinals.

8.  Buffalo - Matt Barkley.  Even though I don't think Barkley is a first round talent I can see Buffalo taking him.  Mark Sanchez 2.0.

9.  New York Jets - Ezekiel Ansah.  He had a great Senior Bowl performance and has shot out of nowhere to get drafted top 10.  I'm sure the boo's will be loud and plenty with this pick.

10.  Tennessee - Dee Milliner.  Once considered a top 5 lock Milliner slides down to the Titans because of the 5 surgeries he has already had.  This pick has bust written all over it.

11.  San Diego - Jarvis Jones.  SacMan Jones reminds me a little bit of Shawne Merriman.

12.  Miami - Jonathan Cooper.  The Dolphins need inside blocking help and Cooper seems to be the best available.

13.  New York Jets - Tyler Eifert.  Eifert is the best tight end to enter the draft in a couple of seasons.  The only question is who will be throwing it to him?

14.  Carolina Panthers - Tavon Austin.  Just a gut feeling the Panthers make a risky pick here to get someone for Cam to throw it to.

15.  New Orleans - Barkevious Mingo.  The Saints need a DE for their new 3-4 defense.  The local product should be a fan favorite.

16.  St. Louis - D. J. Fluker.  Gotta protect Sam Bradford.  They could also go Chance Warmack here.

17.  Pittsburgh - Kenny Vaccaro.  Vaccaro will eventually replace the hair guy in the secondary.

18.  Dallas - Chance Warmack.  The Cowboys offensive line is in shambles.

19.  New York Giants - Xavier Rhodes.  The Giants need corners in the worst way.  Rhodes is the best one in this class in my opinion.

20.  Chicago - Alec Ogletree.  Ogletree has many off the field issues but his talent outweighs it.  He should be a great fit in Chicago.

21.  Cincinnati - Eric Reid.  They should take Matt Elam with this pick but from all indications the Bengals staff loves Reid.

22.  St. Louis - Sheldon Richardson.  Big time steal here for the Rams with Richardson who should start right away.

23.  Minnesota - Ryan Nassib.   I know this pick makes little sense but does anybody honestly think Christian Ponder is the answer in Minnesota?  The Vikings go out on a limb again and pick a QB.

24.  Indianapolis - Datone Jones.  The Colts need defensive line help and Jones appears to be the best one left on the board.

25.  Minnesota - Manti Te'o.  Pretty much everybody has the Vikings taking Te'o here and I agree with it.  Te'o will be a great fit in Minnesota with a locker room already filled with Golden Domers.

26.  Green Bay - Tank Carradine.  The Packers need to get younger on the defensive line.  Tank should  work out just fine.

27.  Houston - DeAndre Hopkins.  The Texans should take Robert Woods here but instead go with Hopkins.

28.  Denver - Sylvester Williams.  The best defensive lineman available and the Broncos lost Elvis Dumervil so this kind of makes sense.

29.  New England - Desmond Trufant.  The Patriots are old in the secondary and Trufant should start right away at the very least in nickel coverage.

30.  Atlanta - Jamar Taylor.  If the Falcons don't trade up to get either one of Rhodes or Milliner at CB then they settle for one of either Trufant and Taylor at #30 pick.

31.  San Francisco - Bjoern Werner.  The 49ers add some depth to the defensive line with an underrated beast.

31.  Baltimore - Matt Elam.  The biggest steal of the first round goes to the Ravens with Ed Reed's replacement in Matt Elam.  Elam is a ball hawk who should turn into a star defender for the Super Bowl Champs.

Evan Gattis Mashes Homer In Front of Friends Dressed In White Bear Costumes

The legend continues to grow faster than an El Oso Blanco swing. And now Evan Gattis has his own fan club dressed up in white bear costumes. Viva El Oso Blanco!

Lie Witness News - Coachella 2013

As a noted Notre Dame fan I really have my fingers crossed that Regis and the Philbins will be coming to Atlanta for Music Midtown. This has to happen so I can hang out with my fellow hipsters and talk about stupid shit that nobody cares about.

Nate Gioacchini Destroys Terrorist Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

Yeah I know it's high school wrestling but who gives a shit. It's another dominating American performance vs terrorism. This is just further proof you don't mess with the US of A. Poor little terrorist almost got skunked losing 15-3 to Nate Gioacchini at a Mass high school invitational back in 2009. America! Fuck Yeah!

North Dakota Sports Anchor A.J Clemente Starts Off His Career Right With Some Profanities

Good job kid. There is nothing more satisfying than starting off your broadcasting career in front of say 400-500 live North Dakotans watching with a "FUCKING SHIT!" comment before completely shitting the bed. I feel worse for Van Tieu. She looked like she just walked into her parent's bedroom on a late Saturday night. Pure fright in those little eyes. The good news for A.J Clemente is it can not get any worse. He was suspended for the cursing on his first day of work. All uphill from here buddy. Plus he graduated from West Virginia University and is used to being from the east coast so he has that going for him.

David Ortiz Eloquently Proclaims "This Is Our Fucking City!" To The Fenway Faithful

Words of poet I tell you. Big Papi didn't beat around the bush Saturday afternoon when addressing the Fenway Park crowd after a tumultuous 5 days in Boston. "This Is Our Fucking City!" will go down in history as one of the most iconic sayings in Boston history. And before all you jackwagons start screaming "Big Papi isn't even from America!" it doesn't matter. The guy got his American citizenship along with his steroids right here. God bless him.

Matt Wieters and El Oso Blanco With Game-Winning Home Runs

The Orioles and Rays were all locked up at 6-6 in the bottom of the 10th when Orioles catcher Matt Wieters walked up to the plate with the bases loaded. Orioles Magic would happen on the next pitch...



Meanwhile in Pittsburgh just moments earlier the Braves and Pirates were all tied up in the top of the 8th when former janitor/ski lift operator/El Oso Blanco stepped up in pinch hitting duty to hit the go ahead bomb for the Bravos. This would be Evan Gattis' 5th homer of the season...

Two catchers. Two moments. Two heroes for the respective ball clubs. One a can't miss prospect from Georgia Tech. The other a feel good story about redemption. Gotta love baseball.

Boston Bruins National Anthem Brings Chills

Breaking sports news video. MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL highlights and more.

Now that is how you do a stirring National Anthem. You got to give it to hockey fans. They get into the National Anthem more than any other fans. The passion is insane. I remember going to an Atlanta Thrashers game right after Dan Snyder died in the Dany Heatley car wreck and they were playing "Amazing Grace" with the bagpipes and then they did the National Anthem. It's the only time I've openly cried my ass off at a sporting event. If I was in Boston last night I would have done the same exact thing.

Now if only I could get Braves fans down here to scream "BRAVES" at the end of the national anthem. I've been doing it for over two decades and still people at the Ted look at me like I'm a crazy person.

Alexander Polli Has Huge Balls of Steel

I'm actually shocked his balls could even fit through that hole. Any sense of accomplishment in my life pales in comparison to what this batshit crazy person named Alexander Polli pulled off in this insane stunt. I get weak-kneed just standing on a ten-foot diving board. I'm almost positive Polli parks his balls in the Grand Canyon. Where else could he fit them?

RIP Pat Summerall

I could watch these videos all day. If you grew up in the 80's or played Madden Football back in it's early heyday you knew the voice of the great Pat Summerall. Summerall's voice resonated with NFL Football as much as John Madden did. In fact Summerall and Madden teamed up for 22 seasons on two different networks (CBS and FOX) to form the best TV sports broadcasting team in my opinion. Yesterday Summerall passed away at the age of 82. He will never be forgotten.

RIP Pat Summerall

Ben Revere With The Early Catch of the Year

Via MLBMemes comes this incredible .gif of Philadelphia Phillies centerfielder Ben Revere diving to rob an extra base hit from the Red's Todd Frazier. Well done sir. He also had the smarts to get up and turn the double play by hitting his cutoff man.

Former NFL Player Joe Andruzzi Helping Boston Marathon Bombing Victims

Honestly I don't know how I would have reacted to the tragedy that unfolded yesterday in Boston if I was there. Some people run away (can't blame them) and some people run back to help. Yesterday former New England Patriot Joe Andruzzi and many other heroes in my book ran towards the bomb victims to help. It gives me a lot of hope in humanity that we are good people as a whole despite all the evil people who want to destroy our lives. Yesterday a nation came together on Patriots Day and showed the world that we will not let a tragedy in Boston destroy our wills.

Comedian/Actor Patton Oswalt summed it up perfectly...

“You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. [...] This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness. But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago. So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, “The good outnumber you, and we always will.”

I've seen some of the gruesome pictures of dead people with limbs missing and I won't dare post them here. I don't even know how I had the stomach to look at them to begin with and it will always bother me that some gutless soul or souls would even think about bombing innocent people. It's disgusting and it will not be tolerated.

Prayers to Boston.

Delivery Prank of the Day

Wow what a bitch move here. Crying like a little girl. Come on man. Where is your dignity? Granted I would have probably shit on myself in the same situation.

Mariners Fan Catches Foul Ball With His Beer and Then Promptly Slams It

This Mariners fan is clearly a SportsCrack fan. Not only does he catch the ball with his $10 draft beer but then chugs it without hesitation in front of thousands of adoring fans. A normal Joe Schmo wouldn't do it. But a SportsCrack fan seizes the opportunity. Drink up sir!

Evan "El Oso Blanco" Gattis Legend Grows With Debut Homer

Evan Gattis has gone from battling anxiety to substance abuse to working odd jobs as a janitor and ski-lift operator while out of baseball for five years to hitting a home run in his first major league game off a legend in his own Roy Halladay. El Oso Blanco would be the biggest story in baseball and perhaps sports if he played for the New York Yankees or Boston Red Sox. It's just a shame that the major networks outside of Atlanta are ignoring his story.

Gattis aka "El Oso Blanco" (The White Bear nickname he got in the Venezuelan fall league after leading in slugging percentage) is already a mythical figure in the ATL. With his tremendous power and his insistence on not wearing batting gloves he looks like a throwback to the golden era of baseball. Gattis is country strong and make no mistake he belongs in the majors after just two minor league seasons in which he dominated after roaming the Western United States for over 4 years working odd jobs while trying to find some spiritual purpose in his life after quitting baseball during his freshman season at Texas A&M.

He's basically the new Josh Hamilton without all the tattoos. And after hitting a home run while his father was being interviewed live in his first major league game he has become a folk hero. Viva El Oso Blanco!



Buy the official El Oso Blanco shirt here while helping a great cause in the American Cancer Society.

El Oso Blanco Shirts Now Available For Sale

Now available for purchase is the original El Oso Blanco aka "The White Bear" t-shirt only at SportsCrack.com.  These preshrunk 50% cotton/ 50% polyester light blue shirts are soft and lightweight and are perfect for the spring and summer.  As always a portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

FGCU's Dunk City Has Dorms With Beachfront Views

I'm not even going to lie.  If I was still in high school or college my ass would be applying to Florida Gulf Coast in a heartbeat.  Beachfront views with honeys hanging out in bikinis studying?  Um, yes please!

Emily Ratajkowski Just Put Kate Upton on Internet Queen Notice With This New NSFW Robin Thicke Video

 The ball is now in your court Kate Upton because make no mistake model Emily Ratajkowski just took over the internet with this blazing NSFW music video. Never mind the horrible song or Robin Thicke claiming he has a big cock (clearly he does if he has Emily frolicking around naked) Emily has planted her flag right on the internet's 50 yard line claiming it as her own. So the question now is what can Kate Upton do to reclaim her internet title for hottest girl on the planet? This is on par when Michael Jordan entered the NBA and told Magic and Bird to go fuck themselves.

 Emily is the new queen of the internet. You still have doubts? Hahaha. Check out this Carl Jr's commercial.

 Game. Set. Match.

 

Manti Te'o Runs a 4.71, Talks To Jon Gruden

First round lock. Some team will fall in love with Manti Te'o. He won't go in the first 15 picks but I think either the Giants or the Bears get him in the 19-20 range. They both need middle linebackers. If they decide to skip out on Manti no way he lasts past the Vikings who have the 23rd and 25th pick.

Florida Gulf Coast University Dunk City

Admit it... you had never heard of FGCU four days ago.  And now Florida Gulf Coast is the first ever 15th seed to make it to the Sweet 16 with all those alley-oops.  These kids make it fun to watch college basketball.  Dunk City indeed.

Sergio Garcia Hits A One-Handed Shot From a Tree

In typical Sergio Garcia fashion he takes 20 practice swings before he finally hits the ball back into play on the 10th hole of the Arnold Palmer Invitational.  One-handed mind you.

DeAndre Jordan With The Dunk Of The Year Over Poor Brandon Knight

I hope DeAndre Jordan left some change on Brandon Knight's nightstand after that pile driver of a dunk last night.  At least be a gentleman about it.

Marc Staal Took A Chris Brown To The Face

I don't think there could be anything worst in sports than taking a puck to the face like the New York Rangers Marc Staal did last night vs the Philadelphia Flyers.  It's got to be worse than taking a high fastball because the puck is much more solid, cold, and it has edges.  Rihanna was in the stands and laughed off Staal's theatrics after the blow while muttering "Not so fun is it pussy?"

Kobe Bryant Asks Josh Smith "How Does My Greatness Taste?" With A Posterizing Dunk

So Josh Smith wants a max contract eh?  Sounds good.  I also want to go balls deep in Kate Upton but guess what?  It isn't happening.  Not now.  Not in the future.  Not ever.  Trust me because every time I remove the duct tape from Kate's mouth she insists on screaming and crying.  I can't stand crying.  Such a turnoff.

In other words Kobe Bryant still has it and Josh Smith will never get it.

The Golf Boys Are Back With "2.0h" Music Video

One thing I love about athletes, or in this case golfers, are ones that don't take themselves too seriously. You're playing a sport not solving the national debt crisis.  Have some fun while you are making millions right?  Well clearly the Golf Boys are having a great time.  Whether it be "Flat Bills" Rickie Fowler, Bubba "Button Up" Watson, Hunter "Grizzly Beard" Mahan, or Ben "Going Insane Kaw-Kaw" Crane you know these guys are not uptight pricks like Tiger and Phil.

Apparently Rory couldn't make an appearance in the video.  He was too busy nursing his "tooth ache" while quitting in the middle of a round.  That's a bitch move Rory.  Go eat some Lucky Charms and tighten that shit up.

Via Ben Crane

NC State's Brett Williams With The Circus Catch of The Year

I've seen a lot in my 34 years in baseball (yes I'm old, fuck off) but this is a first.  NC State centerfielder Brett Williams did a flip while diving for a catch in left centerfield vs New Mexico State.  Luckily the ball didn't get lodged in his blowhole.

Cheerleader Half Court Shot

She can cheer for my team any day.  I love the bros just sitting in the stands acting like it's no big deal.  Like somehow they have seen this shit before.

NEW PAROLE TIDE T-SHIRT

Here is the brand new Parole Tide That's a Crime, Son T-shirt.  With the latest arrests Parole Tide has not only cemented themselves as Oversigning U but also #1 both on the field and in the Fulmer Cup Standings.

Order the original Parole Tide Shirt today!  Shipping starts in a couple of days.

Maryland Basketball Students Do Flash Mob and Harlem Shake During Duke Game

I can't believe I missed this while slugging Red Stripes and chowing down jerk chicken and lobster down in Jamaica.  Maryland students did a flash mob and the simply awful Harlem Shake before their basketball team helped seal the deal on a tourney bid with a 83-81 victory over hated Duke.  While Scott Van Pelt was texting/twittering/whatever in front of the kids in suits I was piss drunk relaxing in the Caribbean on a beach.  WTF was I thinking?

Australian Body Slamming Cactus is Youtube Gold

No shit I laughed out loud so badly I started tearing up at this poor dumb asshole.  Just the sheer agony of screams after the body slam are priceless.  When they are pulling out the pricks on his back it was like somebody recorded me down in Miami last month while watching Notre Dame getting throttled by Bama.  "It fucking hurts man."  Yeah it does.

Via TheBigLead

Nike Might Want To Rethink This Oscar Pistorius "I Am The Bullet In The Chamber" Ad

By now you have probably already heard about Oscar "Blade Runner"Pistorius giving his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp a shotgun wedding on Valentine's Day but I doubt you saw this completely insensitive NIKE Ad.  I mean what a bunch of assholes to treat poor little Tink Tink as some sexual object like a bullet.  Men are not sexual toys you women can just play with.  Before you know it we might just explode.

Serious question though:  Does Pistolius, I mean Pistorius, allowed to bring his blades in jail?  I'm completely stumped.

Johnny Manziel Game Worn Cleats and Jersey vs Alabama Up For Auction

With an estimated value of at least $10000 Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel  has put his game worn cleats and jersey vs Bama up for auction at Heritage Auction.  The cleats are autographed but that's not what makes them so unique.  Johnny Football isn't the biggest guy on the college gridiron.  By most accounts he is under 6 feet and has a slight build.

But holy shit the kid wears a size 15!

You know what they say about big feet right ladies?

Big nose.

Notre Dame Closes With Eddie Vanderdoes

Eddie Vanderdoes Defensive Line, 6' 3" 285 lbs. Auburn, CA (Placer) MaxPreps Bio

First-team defensive lineman on 247Sports All-America team . . . second-team USA Today All-USA high school All-American . . . ranked 33rd player nationally on ESPN 300 list . . . ranked 43rd on MaxPreps/Tom Lemming Top100 list . . . ranked sixth on 247Sports list of top 247 players . . . rated 21st overall on Rivals 250 list and fourth among defensive tackles . . . ranked ninth overall and second among outside defensive tackles on Scout 300 by Scout.com . . . first-team defensive lineman on Sacramento Bee All-Metro team for 2012 . . . made 72 tackles, nine sacks, 10 tackles for loss, two forced fumbles and one fumble recovery as senior in 2012 for Placer High School in Auburn, Calif. . . . added 65 tackles, 10 sacks, three forced fumbles, ands two fumble recoveries as junior in 2011 . . . earned MVP honor for defensive linemen at The Opening elite combine in 2012 . . . played in U.S. Army All-American Bowl in San Antonio and was credited with three tackles and a sack for West squad . . . played for coach Joey Montoya.

Here are some highlights of the future ND defensive tackle:

National Signing Day Is For Closers

Big props go to the coaching staffs at Notre Dame, Alabama, Ole Miss, Ohio State, Florida, and LSU for closing strong on National Signing Day.  They deserve coffee.

Joe Flacco Thinks The Super Bowl is "Fucking Awesome"

Yeah I would be saying the same exact thing after winning the Super Bowl, claiming the MVP trophy, and now a shiny new $100 million plus contract waiting to be signed.  Fucking awesome indeed Mr. Flacco.

Good Job New Orleans Hosting Your Last Super Bowl

Just a great venue to hold the Super Bowl.  I'm actually surprised the SuperDome didn't collapse into itself with Bane coming out saying "LET THE GAMES BEGIN!"

Best Super Bowl Commercials

Congratulations go out to the Baltimore Ravens for winning their second Super Bowl in stirring fashion over the San Francisco 49ers 34-31.  But who gives a shit about some dumb football game right?  Let's take a look at what really is important: the best Super Bowl commercials.

My personal favorite is this Old Milwaukee commercial.  It's a classic love story between Will Ferrell and some old Asian lady making out in a bus.  Brings a tear to my eye.


My second favorite is the Taco Bell Viva Young commercial.  Nothing beats seeing old people get fucked up while going for a late night romp at Taco Bell.   Live Mas indeed.


And of course my third favorite is this instant classic Go Daddy commercial.  Supermodel Bar Rafaeli making out with some tech nerd.  Yummy.


The award for the "cutest" Super Bowl commercial goes to Kia's Space Babies.  And by cute I mean the one commercial where all the girls in the room go "AAAWWWW!"


My bad.  Somehow I completely forgot the Dikembe Mutombo Geico commercial.

True story: Mutombo works out at the same gym I go to.  He comes in with full suit.  Changes into workout clothes.  Then changes back to full suit and leaves with suitcase every time.  Fucking weird right?

Do You Even Lift Bro?

I can't believe how many chicken arms were in that video.  Embarrassing.

Kate Upton's Mercedes Benz Super Bowl Commercial Fails To Deliver

Um, where the hell is the bikini and who in their right god damn mind decided it would be funny to put kids in football jerseys washing the car?

No wonder nobody drives Mercedes anymore.  Even Kia can make a sexier commercial.

Glenn Robinson III Throws Down a 360-Degree Dunk

The son of the Big Dog threw down this nasty 360-degree dunk last night vs the Golden Gophers.  It was glorious as you can see.  More glorious than his Dad who likes to hit the pubs in my neck of the woods with his knee high NBA white socks while driving his Maserati?  Not quite.

Video via TheBigLead

@KUBoobs Blowing Up Twitter

Whether real or fake @KUBoobs is here to stay.  Before the Manti Te'o fake dead girlfriend broke Twitter yesterday the hottest thing on there was @KUBoobs.  Now it's up to other schools to match the heat that Rock Chalk is bringing.

No Dame Lennay Football Shirt

If you asked me when I started SportsCrack that could you ever imagine making a shirt about a dead girl who never actually existed in a Catfish hoax I would say you were crazy.  But apparently I am the crazy one as I scream Lennay at the football that slowly fades away.  There is no Dame named Lennay other than the fictional one a couple of kids created in order to fool Manti Te'o.  But now there is a shirt in her honor.  Fucking weird right?  What is real is the shirt and a portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society which does actually go to helping people struggling with the awful disease.

Order your NO DAME LENNAY FOOTBALL T-SHIRT HERE.

Manti Te'o Comes Clean About His Dead Fake Girlfriend

Yep. Totally believable. I know it's not cool to make fun of Manti Te'o right now because we have to try to remember that a girl that never existed is dead. It's sad. Te'o was clearly the victim of a "Catfish" scheme which before today I had never heard of. Today the internet clearly won as Te'o's fake girlfriend crashed Twitter and Facebook. And people still want to say Notre Dame isn't relevant. When it comes to dead fake girlfriends clearly nobody, and I mean nobody, beats Notre Dame. Here is a picture of Manti hugging his dead fake girlfriend.

Video of Oregon Fans Reacting To News Of Chip Kelly Leaving For The NFL

 Nothing to see here folks.  It looks like they are taking it perfectly well.

Well it was good knowing you Ducks.
/BCS Bowl Committee

College Football Depression Is Starting To Kick In

I still can't believe this season is done.  No more college football for another 180 days.  What the fuck am I suppose to do between now and then?  Talk to my family?  I don't even know their names.  I think I called my brother Manti a few times over Christmas break.  I'm not even shitting you.

Oh well I guess we got National Signing Day in February to look forward to and then the spring football games and what not.  2012 was a great year for this college football fan.  I got to watch my team finally compete for their first National Title in over 20 years.  Yeah they got their asses kicked down in Miami but it still won't take away the memories of a great and special season by the Fighting Irish.

You know college football is your favorite sport when you just stop watching ESPN after the season is officially over.  I have almost zero interest in college basketball and the NBA right now.  I couldn't tell you shit about either because I've literally watched maybe two hours of basketball all season (and that was the Maryland vs Kentucky game to tip off the season).  There is just no sport that matches up with the excitement of college football.  Thank God my Atlanta Falcons won last week or I wouldn't even be watching the NFL right now.  I'm just happy the Dirty Birds won a playoff game and got that enormous monkey off of Mike Smith and Matty Ice's back.  I guess it's not all that depressing when you  think about it but it still feels like you are settling for a side piece in the NFL instead of being with your true love in college football.

Here are my top 10 teams going into the 2013 season:

1.  Bama - Duh!  They got McCarron back along with the greatest football coach of my generation in Nick Saban and they will simply reload.

2.  ND - 15 starters back including a freshman QB in Everett Golson who I thought played great in the BCS Championship.  The defense should again be solid with Nix and Tuitt up front and the schedule looks less daunting.  It also helps that Brian Kelly didn't ditch them.

3.  Oregon - Oregon is in the same boat as ND.  The Quack Attack get their coach back along with a freshman QB in Marioti who continued to get better.  Stanford will be their only true test again.  EDIT: Nevermind Chip Kelly is going to Philly to take the Iggles job.

4.  Stanford - Holy shit have they built an elite program or what?  3 straight BCS berths and 12 win seasons makes them legitimate contenders for a title in 2013.  People tend to forget they won the PAC-12 last year and not Oregon.

5.  South Carolina - Connor Shaw, Jadaveon Clowney and Steve Spurrier all return to Columbia.  The schedule won't be as tough as last season either.

6.  Texas A&M - Johnny Football and Kevin Sumlin had a storybook first season in the SEC.  The former middle of the pack Big 12 team will have a giant bullseye on them this season though.  Can Johnny Heisman avoid the sophomore slump?

7.  Ohio State - They got a great QB in Braxton Miller and a great coach in Urban Meyer.  Plus their schedule is fucking garbage so they have a legit shot at going undefeated...again.

8.  Louisville - I know it's only one game and you shouldn't just a team by it but the way Teddy Bridgewater scorch earthed the Gators defense was simply too hard to ignore.  Charlie Strong is building a juggernaut up there in Louisville.

9.  Oklahoma - Getting rid of Landry Jones makes them better in my opinion.  I don't think the Sooners are that great but I wouldn't be shocked to see Blake Bell put up a Tebowesque season for the Norman faithful.

10.  Georgia - Aaron Murray is back along with 9 other starters on the offensive side of the ball that should again put up a ton of points.  The defense was already a liability and now losing all their studs to the NFL won't help causes with a schedule much tougher than the past 2 seasons.

Vanderbilt's James Franklin's Business Card Is Completely Boss

No wonder Vanderbilt is now somewhat competitive in the SEC.  Holy shit look at that complete boss business card head football coach James Franklin is carrying.  Patrick Bateman would literally kill for that fucker.

I'm the CEO* of a booming internet sports apparel business and I don't even carry a business card.  Even if I did have one it wouldn't be nearly as cool as this one.  It would be like wearing a Swatch watch at a a Breitling party.  I just feel inadequate after seeing Franklin's business card.  If I'm a football recruit I sign my letter of intent as soon as Franklin hands over that bad boy.

I got $500 on Lane Kiffin's business card is printed on toilet paper?  Anybody want to take the bet?

Via SB Nation

* code for raging functional alcoholic who sells t-shirts on the side.

This NFL Bad Lip Reading Video Will Make Your Day

Jim Harbaugh wants his cake!

Atlanta Falcon's Jacquizz Rodgers Wears A "Quizz On Your Face" Shirt

Watch out 49ers.  Someone is coming to QUIZZ ON YOUR FACE come Sunday afternoon in the Georgia Dome.  He's only 5'6 but Falcon's tailback Jacquizz Rodgers punches one hell of a punch.   Just ask Seattle's Earl Thomas.

And yes this needed to be a SportsCrack shirt yesterday.  Go Dirty Birds!

Tiger Woods vs Rory McIlroy Nike Commercial

This new Tiger vs Rory Nike commercial brings back memories of the McDonald's Jordan vs Bird commercial back in the early 90's.  They titled this one "No Cup is Safe" but a more appropriate one in my opinion should have been "No Hole is Safe" especially when it comes to Tiger.  You could have had Tiger's former mistresses all around the world receiving hole-in-ones.   Nike needs to think outside of the box.  Or in this case inside the box.

Every Johnny Manziel Touchdown

Via Kegs N Eggs comes every Johnny Football's touchdown this season in eight minutes.  The Heisman winner had a storybook season and now he gets to enjoy his offseason with scores of coeds.

NOTRE DAME: HONOR AND TRADITION

"The pride and tradition of Notre Dame Football will not be left to the weak, timid or non-committed."

I can not wait to get to Miami.  3 more days I will be out on that field celebrating with the boys bringing home the Natty.  Go Irish!

Fascinating New Picture from the Mars Rover

Jadeveon Clowney With The Hit of the New Year

I think I just pissed blood after seeing this hit.  Good lord Jadeveon Clowney just threw in his hat for the Heisman Trophy frontrunner for 2013.  Of course he won't win it because defensive players aren't allowed to win it but I think there will be little doubt Clowney is the top returning player in 2013.

Chipper Jones Still Rounding The Bases During Retirement With Playboy Playmate

Future Hall of Famer and recently divorced Chipper Jones is still hitting it out of the ballpark despite hitting retirement.  This time he has latched himself onto a Playboy bunny who goes by the name of Taylor Higgins.  Chipper loves his blondes.  I kind of figured it would be tough for ole Chipper to find a decent chick.  Multimillionaire ex-ballplayers have it rough and all.  By the way even though Chipper has a shitload of money he still can't afford to see a tailor I see.  Come on Chipper.  Tighten up the suit.

Via TheBigLead

If you want to see more of Higgins aka Lexi Ray here is a NSFW video.

Manti Te'o Song

That does it for me.  Manti Te'o has my Heisman vote.  Granted I don't have a vote and the Heisman Trust people object to me even mentioning their award.  But fuck them.  Te'o for Heisman!

"First down...second down...third down...PUNT!"


Via Dave

The One Thing Good Thing About the Jacksonville Jaguars: Their Cheerleaders

Yes the Jaguars are good at something and it has nothing to do within the football lines.  Just outside of them you can see the true talent of Jacksonville shine.

Via TheBigLead

Northern Illinois Football Players React To Orange Bowl Berth

Do I agree that Northern Illinois should be in a BCS Bowl over teams like Oklahoma, Georgia, Clemson, South Carolina, and LSU? No. Those teams are clearly better than Northern Illinois. But I don't want to hear those teams fans bitch about going to a lesser bowl because at the end of the day you have nobody to blame but yourselves. If you win your conference or only lose one game all season then you make it. You didn't. So don't be mad at Northern Illinois. Be mad at your team for not finishing their business.

 By the way this is yet another reason why I love college football. The reaction by Northern Illinois is straight joy. Gotta love the passion.

 Video via TheBigLead

CATHOLICS VS COUSINS T-SHIRTS NOW AVAILABLE

NOW AVAILABLE IS THIS ORIGINAL SPORTSCRACK.COM T-SHIRT CALLED CATHOLICS VS COUSINS.  WE ARE TAKING PRE ORDERS NOW!  SHIPPING STARTS LATER THIS WEEK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR SHIRT WAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

@sportscrack pretty sweet shirt!! Might need to get a few of those🍀

— Jimmy Clausen (@JimmyClausen) December 3, 2012

Notre Dame Beat The Odds

12-0.  #1 in the nation in both graduation rates and on the football field.  Notre Dame is the pinnacle of everything that is right with college football.  An elite academic institution that has proven you can win on and off the field by playing the right way and not cutting corners.

Go Irish!

Bill O'Brien Calls His Penn State Players A "Bunch of Fuckers"

Stay classy State Penn.

Via Dave

"WE'RE GOING TO SOUTH BEACH!"

Limited Edition Shamrock Series Chicago Notre Dame 24K Gold Authentic Helmets For Sale

We got a limited edition of these Shamrock Series Chicago Notre Dame Game Model 24K Gold Helmets from Schutt for pre order.  These are authentic helmets but were never worn by the players at Soldier Field vs Miami.  Designed by Troy Lee Studios they take over 80 hours to create each helmet.

Overnight shipping starts December 19th and will arrive before Christmas.

Drunk Guy Wearing A Johnny Football Shirt Gets in Fisticuffs at New Orleans Airport

I would fight this drunk too.  Did you see that pathetic excuse for a Johnny Football shirt?  Good lord have some decency.  You are embarrassing yourself with that garbage t-shirt.  You are lucky you didn't  get tasered to death for having an awful sense of fashion.  Next time get the original and the best...

Video via Deadspin

Alabama Fan Flips Out During Lost To Texas A&M While Playing Call of Duty

Hahahaha.  I can almost taste his tears.  Just a complete meltdown while playing Call of Duty.  You know this Bama fan is still quivering inside his Mom's basement while pulling his hair out and muttering "Johnny Football."  The Aggies, a middle of the road Big 12 team the past 15 years, just wanted to thank Bama for their warm welcome to the mighty SEC Conference.  Manziel sends his love for the gracious hospitality.

Via BigLead via Good Bull Hunting

Big Handsome Basketball Shirt

We are taking pre orders now on the brand new SportsCrack.com original BIG HANDSOME t-shirt.  Big thanks go out to Jason for the idea.  We have Youth and Adult sizes available and shipping will start later this week!

BIG HANDSOME BASKETBALL SHIRT

High School Football Play of the Year

In some dark alley Tyrone Prothro is shaking his head while sobbing into his old torn up Bama jersey "I could have been All-American!"

UFC Octagon Girl Brittney Palmer Has Talent

Brittney Palmer is an UFC Octagon Girl which means she "entertains" the crowd between rounds of guys fighting each other in skin tight shorts which isn't gay at all by the way.  Essentially she holds a sign up saying what round it is.  That takes talent people.  And as you can see she has plenty of it.

Via TheBigLead

Louis Nix Doesn't Appreciate The Fat Comments

Louis Nix is a 340 lb starting nose guard for the undefeated Notre Dame Fighting Irish and has a personality and sense of humor almost as big as his bear claws for hands.  But don't call him "fat."

"One guy at Oklahoma called me fat and he was fat himself," Nix said.
"I didn't like that. In my mind we should stick together. We're both big guys, and you want to call me fat? I didn't like that." 

How can one argue with the self appointed "Irish Chocolate?"  There is no reason to call someone fat especially if you are in fact a chub.  It would be like myself calling someone out as pasty white or having a pencil dick.  Oh wait never mind.

Paulina Gretzky Isn't Obama's Biggest Fan Apparently

This is my fear of being a father to a daughter. The Great One already has to deal with the constant headache of his daughter Paulina twittering around with next to nothing on. Now Wayne will have to deal with the questions of Paulina giving the good old one fingered salute to an Obama puppet. And of course Paulina has to wear one of the skimpiest dresses ever made while doing it. A sex tape is surely in the cards. Gotta feel for the Great One. Pictures via TheBigLead

The Colorado Football Team Seemed Excited With The Election Results

Johnny Football Shirt

The freshman sensation who has taken the college football landscape and SEC Country by storm goes by the name of Johnny Football.  Now you can show your maroon and white pride with this classic #JohnnyFootball shirt only available at SportsCrack.com

Taking pre orders now.  Shipping starts November 12th.  Limited quantities so order your Johnny Football Shirt today!

Happy Election Day!

Just remember everybody....your vote in the grand scheme of things doesn't mean shit.  But yeah have a good voting day!

Everett Golson Delivered In The Clutch

Down 20-6 in the fourth quarter to an unranked Pitt team, Notre Dame freshman QB Everett Golson pulled the improbable and led the Fighting Irish to a 29-26 triple overtime victory to keep ND undefeated.

With the close win ND dropped to 4th in the BCS standings with Oregon moving up to 3rd after a win at USC.  #1 remains the same with Alabama pulling off another improbable win on the road at Death Valley with a last minute win after some questionable calls by LSU head coach Les Miles.  KState remains at #2 with another decisive victory over Okie State.  The game did have some consequences though with Heisman frontrunner Collin Klein going down with a concussion.  Will he play this week vs TCU?  That remains to be seen.

With only a month left to go we have 4 undefeated major power teams who could all make an argument for being in the BCS Title game.  Two would be left out and would likely play each other in the Rose Bowl.  If that is the case we might be looking at our first split National Title since 2003.

Battling Leukemia Colt's Coach Chuck Pagano Gives An Inspiring Speech

How can you not roof for the Colts after seeing Indianapolis head coach Chuck Pagano give this inspiring speech to his players after a hard fought victory over the Miami Dolphins while still battling leukemia?  We here at SportsCrack have nothing but respect to Pagano and we hope he finds a way to beat the deadly disease.  Today we should all be ChuckStrong!

Johnny Manziel For Halloween

Take that Tim Tebow and Collin Klein!

Now this is how you divide and conquer college if you are the star QB.  Texas A& M QB Johnny Manziel aka Johnny Football went as Scooby Doo for Halloween and as you can tell by the pictures did some major bone digging.  Manziel is just a freshman on the field but after looking at pic #2 he's already a senior at the tight end position....just dead eye balling that blonde.

Pictures via OutkickTheCoverage

This Collin Klein Story Might Cost Him The Heisman

From CBSSports...

Klein's faith is out front, along with his chin that has led the way during 492 career runs. In a Kansas State-produced story that appeared in a game program, Klein said he was told by the Lord he would marry K-State women's basketball player Shalin Spani. The daughter of former KSU football great Gary Spani said she heard "a voice in my head" independently that told her she would marry Klein.

They became engaged before they formally had a first date. That first kiss came on the altar July 21, fulfilling a promise Klein made to himself at age 14. His first kiss would not come until then.

"Yes," Spani was quoted saying about their courtship, "it's unusual."

It's gotta be hard to vote for a guy who gets engaged to a girl before even delivering a first kiss right?  I don't even understand it.  KState QB Collin Klein should be running mad game all around Manhattan while spraying his purple rain on coeds yet here he is fucking married.  Stupid.  What a waste of talent.  I'm not a very religious person but I'm pretty sure God gave you the bat and two balls so you could fucking use it and not hide in your locker while you heard "voices" in your head telling you to marry this person.  That's not the Lord buddy.  It's called your nuts.  I'm not saying he should go all Travis Henry and start impregnating all of North America but you should at least be able to enjoy your success.  God didn't give you a #1 Heisman leader campaign to piss it away by being a pussy.  But hey, to each their own Tebow Jr.  I guess his teammates get to enjoy themselves with all the lonely leftovers because Klein is too scared to kiss a girl in fear of God throwing down a thunderbolt on his pansy ass.

I can't vote for Klein anymore for the Heisman.  Football is a man sport.  Act like one kid.

Granted I don't have a vote but whatever.  Grow some balls.

This Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love Uncle Drew Video is Awesome

I love this shit.  It doesn't get any funnier than Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love dressing up as old people and fooling a bunch of paid actors and extras who are conveniently drinking Pepsi Max in pickup basketball.  Priceless and brilliant.

Notre Dame...It's Alive!!!

The haters will still hate but you can't deny Notre Dame is one of the top 5 teams in the country.  Are they back?  That remains to be seen.  But the program is definitely "alive" and well with Brian Kelly plugging in all the lights to a team that had been dark for way too long.