I Wonder What Michael Jordan Thinks of Maple Jordan Andrew Wiggins

There is your answer.  His airness Michael Jordan is more worried about beer pong than Andrew Wiggins.  Wiggins aka "Maple Jordan" was spectacular last night in his first prime time TV performance vs Duke.  Maple Jordan was 9-for-15 from the field while scoring 22 points and grabbing 8 rebounds.  Kansas held on to beat Duke 94-83 despite another elite freshman superstar named Jabari Parker going off for Duke with 27 points.

With Wiggins, Parker, Julius Randle of Kentucky, Wayne Selden of Kansas, and Aaron Gordon of Arizona all making huge impacts as freshmen I honestly can't think of a class more exciting than this one in recent basketball history.

Maybe now we will actually pay attention to college basketball before college football is over.  This season at least appears worth it.  Tons of legit diaper dandies and 5-6 upper echelon programs with shots at the National Title.

Picture via TheBigLead

For Some Reason The Braves Didn't Tell Dan Uggla Of The Impending Move

No idea why.  Apparently BJ Upton missed the memo too.

Steve Spurrier Will Replace Will Muschamp At Florida Soon

The uber talented Florida Gators now have a gravely record of 4-5 after suffering their 4th straight loss, this time to Vanderbilt.  Fucking Vandy crushed them.  Head coach Will Muschamp has to be gone.  Best case scenario is they go 5-7 because there is no way they beat South Carolina or FSU to finish the season.  Which leads us to Spurrier.  He's coming for you Muschump.  He wants your soul.  He needs it.  He feeds off it.  Dead man walking in Gainesville.

Is Florida even a top 10 team in the SEC?  I can make a good argument they are not.  Back in the day you couldn't find more than 3 teams in the whole nation better than the Gators.  Now they aren't even top 10 in their own conference.  Fucking pathetic.

1. Alabama

2. Mizzou

3. Auburn

4. Texas A&M

5. South Carolina

6. LSU

7. Ole Miss

8. Vanderbilt

9. Georgia

10. Tennessee

11. Florida

12. Mississippi State

13. Kentucky

14. Arkansas

Atlanta Braves Announce Shocking Move To Cobb Galleria/Cumberland Mall Area

First initial reaction: Holy Shit.

Second reaction: I love it.

I've been an Atlanta Braves fan since my family moved down south from Maryland back in the early 80's.  I used to go to games in the old Fulton County Stadium when there were only a couple of thousand people in attendance.  I've also been to sold out games there in the early 90's and have enjoyed games at the Ted since 1997.  But the game day atmosphere and surrounding area is fucking horrible.  I'm sorry to burst your bubbles fellow Braves fan but it just is.  Go to Camden Yards or Wrigley Field or Fenway Park or Petco Park or St. Louis or Coors Field or even San Francisco.  There is actually stuff to do around the stadium like visit a pub or a store and enjoy the game day atmosphere without fear of being mugged.  Yes even in Baltimore you are less likely to be mugged around Camden Yards than Turner Field.  This is a very smart move by the Braves.

Also since 2004 I've lived over in the Vinings/Smyrna area until recently moving to Alpharetta (two weeks ago).  The Braves will move there in 2017 and there are plenty of amenities, restaurants, and daily activities to do in the Cobb Galleria area instead of just seeing a ball game.  Attendance should go up dramatically not only because it's a new stadium but it's a lot more convenient to get to for people looking to buy season tickets.  Look the commute to the current stadium sucks.  And yes traffic all around metro Atlanta blows but I guarantee you will have a lot more people in attendance from the Kennesaw, Woodstock, Alpharetta, Roswell, East Cobb areas that are so vital to bringing in money for the Braves organization.  It's a business move for sure and it's a smart one.

It will be sort of difficult to say good bye to The Ted especially since it's only 16 years old (opened in 1997).  But there is nothing really unique or homely in regards to it currently.  Camden Yards, Wrigley, Fenway, Petco, etc all have unique features that make it feel like it's a part of history and the community.  The Ted always felt out of place in my opinion.  It was originally built as the Olympic Stadium and converted to the Braves home one year after.  It just never felt like a stadium where you could build fond family memories.  Honestly I was always worried about leaving after dark with my daughter in tote.

Now I just can't wait till 2017 to see the new stadium.  Hopefully the Braves do it up right and make it look like a Camden Yards or a Wrigley Field and not that monstrosity in South Florida. Don't make it bigger than 40K in seats and have plenty of parking around it. You got to have a designated "tailgating area" with grass and tables. Make it warm and inviting and not like a concrete jungle.  The good news if you don't want to tailgate or eat at the new ballpark you can walk from plenty of restaurants such as Cinco's, PF Changs, Hooters, Maggiano's, Stoney River, Tilted Kilt, etc.

 What are your thoughts on the Braves moving out of Atlanta?

For more info on the Braves move into a new stadium in 2017 visit their website HOMEOFTHEBRAVES.COM

Maple Jordan Basketball Shirts Now Available For Sale!

Now available for PRE ORDER is our brand new completely original MAPLE JORDAN shirt!  This soft Hanes Blend 50/50 cotton polyester t-shirt comes in royal blue with white and red screenprinted graphics on the front and back.  This shirt is sure to be the hottest thing on the court this basketball season!

A portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

Shipping starts November 13th.

ORDER HERE TODAY!  Limited edition shirt.

Some New Custom and Rare Notre Dame and Oregon Helmets In Our Store

We got a couple of new items in stock.  The first one is the new Schutt Notre Dame Authentic Full Size  XP helmets with the new gold.  They also have the brand new metallic gold facemask.  These are the same helmets the players wear.  Comes with the same padding inside, chinstrap and has the American Flag sticker on the back.  

Also we got the 2013 Shamrock Series desk caddy.  These are just like the regular Shamrock Series mini helmets but they have containers on top to put utensils, pens and business cards.  This is a very cool item perfect for any desk or office.

Also in stock is the new Oregon Lightning Mini Helmet.  Very sharp looking and a perfect present for the upcoming holidays.

Last but certainly not least is the Oregon Liquidmetal Mini Helmet.  They don't get much cooler than this mini helmet.

Be sure to check out our STORE PAGE for other great items.  With Christmas right around the corner SportsCrack.com is your one stop shop for the hard-to-get fan.

TOP 10 COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAMS

We are finally back!  We had to move the SportsCrack headquarters up to the burbs and in the meantime AT&T U-Verse kept throwing us devastating Navy chop blocks to the back of our legs with delays reaching a month for service.  So we threw a hail mary over to Comcast and the fuckers came down with the catch.  Thank God.  I started questioning my own sexuality being in the dark so long.  I felt like I was in solitary coming off a heroin addiction.  You question everything in life when you don't have cable or internet for over two weeks.  I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.  Actually I would.  Michigan you can have it.

Anyways I'm starting to catch up with my college football.  I missed a couple of key games but I managed to read up on them.  Here are my top 10 teams.

1.  Bama - Until the champ goes down you have to put them up at the top.  I know people are already starting to bitch and moan about their schedule being too easy but it really it isn't.  It's just that Bama is that fucking good.  They get LSU this week which should give them their biggest challenge yet.

2.  Oregon - The Ducks were off last week to prepare for their HUGE Thursday night game vs Stanford.  Last year the Nerds beat them 17-14 in Eugene on their way to a PAC-12 Championship.  This year Scoregon will be looking to get some revenge in Palo Alto.

3.  FSU - Famous Jameis and the Semenholes look like the FSU of old.  They got their swagger back and have run over two...clears throat..."Top 10" teams in convincing fashion.  I don't see them losing another game this season unless Winston gets hurt.  Yes, the Seminoles are back.

4.  Ohio State - Urban Meyer still has not lost a game in Columbus and he probably won't all season.  The only problem is their schedule is the fattest piece of cake you will ever consume for a major BCS conference team.  They are going to need a lot of help to leap into the top 2 of the BCS Standings.

5.  Baylor - The Bears are my Cinderella team.  I'm pulling for them big time.  I couldn't even tell you where Baylor is located on the map of Texas but I do know their offense is right up there with the best in the nation behind the gun slinger Bryce Petty.  They get Oklahoma this Thursday.  Win it and there is a great chance they leapfrog Ohio State in the standings.

6.  Stanford - I still can't believe this team lost to fucking Utah.  The Utes?  Good lord.  They had one bad game and still had a chance to win it so I got them up in the rankings as the best one-loss team.  They get a chance to defend their PAC-12 title this Thursday with Marcus Mariota and Oregon coming into Palo Alto.

7.  Missouri - Mizzou is right there with Stanford in my opinion.  They had no business losing to South Carolina.  They fucking choked.  Still kills me because I was hoping to see two undefeated teams battle in the SEC Championship for a right to the BCS Title.  The Tigers did bounce back big time last week with a convincing win vs Tennessee.  They should destroy Kentucky on Saturday.

8.  Auburn - Besides Mizzou these Tigers are the biggest surprise in the SEC.  Last year they struggled to go 3-9.  This year they are sitting at 8-1 with winnable games vs Tennessee and Georgia before the Iron Bowl.  Head coach Gus Malzahn has done a remarkable job.

9.  Michigan State - They held Michigan to -48 yards.  Hilarious.  The nation's most stout defense has only one loss on their resume (tough road game at Notre Dame) and are sitting in a great spot to win the "Legends" division of the Big Ten and face Ohio State in the championship game.  Could they somehow squeeze into the National Title discussion?  No but it is fun watching them dominate teams with their defense.

10.  Texas A&M - Yes I know they got two losses but both of the games they could have won.  I also think they would destroy Miami and Clemson so I can't honestly put those teams over the Aggies in the rankings despite have one less loss.  Johnny Football can sign off on this ranking.

Cam McDaniel Doesn't Care About USC, Is Extremely Photogenic

Cam McDaniel is a fucking boss.  No helmet while fighting for yards against hated rival USC and he still has the time to pull off Blue Steel.  That McDaniel is so hot right now!

Triumph Visits The Great American Beer Festival

I love that puppet dog.  He can drink and lick his balls with me any day.

This Andy Reid Kool-Aid Gif is Perfect

Hilarious.  The Kansas City Chiefs are now 7-0 after only winning 2 games last season.  New head coach Andy Reid is a rock star.

Watch Out SEC Country it's the new MAUK U Shirt

There is a new beast of the east and it hunts not only west of the Mississippi but has been known to kill Dawgs and Gators with their old man football.  The experts didn't think they could survive in the SEC...well MAUK U!  Get the original MAUK U shirt only at SportsCrack.com.

Taking pre orders NOW.  Shipping starts October 25th on this limited edition shirt.  10% of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

In Honor of Jim Leyland Stepping Down Today as the Tigers Manager We Present This Classic Barry Bonds Confrontation

Old fucking school.  Winstons and Marlboros just chewing out Barry Bonds self entitled ass during spring training back in the early 90's.  Jim Leyland packed up his cigarettes and headed out of Detroit today and he will be missed.  The funny thing is if this happened today Leyland would have been crucified by the media and made to apologize for being a racist.  True story.  Also we would be talking about changing the name of the Pirates because Bob Costas got offended for Captain Hook.

Eight Team Playoff Would Look Like This

Ok so this is all hypothetical and I know the college football lords have only agreed to a 4-team playoff starting next year but this is what I envision as the perfect playoff system that would rival Super Bowl interest. 8 teams determined by the college playoff committee.

Now just going by BCS Standings this is what the first round match ups would look like:

1. Alabama vs 8. Baylor - Could Bama be on upset alert?  Nick Saban would have a hard time stopping Baylor's spread offense which averages an incredible 65 points a game.  Bama's defense has only given up 1 TD in the last 5 games.

2. FSU vs 7. Miami - These two rivals would be a complete mismatch in my opinion.  I just can't see Miami beating FSU this year.  Jameis Winston would have a field day vs a suspect Hurricanes defense.

3. Oregon vs 6. Stanford - Another rivalry game between conference opponents.  Stanford knows how to stop Oregon.  This would be another fun game to watch.

4. Ohio State vs 5. Missouri - The Big Ten vs the SEC.  For bragging rights.  Braxton Miller vs Maty Mauk.  The Buckeyes 25-game winning streak on the line vs a big bad SEC team.  Both conference fan bases would love for this game to happen.

Could you imagine the ratings for these games?  It would be through the roof.  Better than the NFL Playoffs in my opinion.  You could have Bama vs Baylor in the Cotton Bowl.  FSU vs Miami in the Orange Bowl.  Oregon vs Stanford in the Rose Bowl.  And Ohio State vs Missouri in the Fiesta Bowl. The winners go on to play semifinal games in New Orleans and Atlanta.  Final Championship game could be in Indianapolis or Houston.  It would be epic and it needs to happen.  4-team playoff is cool but an 8-team playoff would be the shit.

Bill Murray Body Slams Lee Corso on College GameDay Set

Well so much for another "game of the century" moment on Saturday night.  Jameis Winston and FSU came into Clemson in a hostile environment and absolutely beat the living shit out of them 51-14.  With the win Famous Jameis is your leading Heisman Trophy contender and FSU makes the big jump up to #2 in the BCS Standings.  This looked like the FSU of old.  They have their swagger back.

Anyways Bill Murray got a little frustrated with Lee Corso's FSU pick Saturday morning and pulled out some old school WWF wrestling moves on the old man.  Corso got the last laugh Saturday night.  Now leave it up to some liberal media d-bags to complain about the savagery of the Seminoles tribe portrayed by the white man here.  Where is Bob Costas when we need his unnecessary and uniformed opinion?

Ole Miss Girl in Red Dress Remix

HOTTY TODDY INDEED!  Ole Miss does it right!  She's definite marriage material there fellas....and divorce two years later.

College Football Midseason Awards, All-American Team, and Heisman Contenders

We are unofficially at the midseason part of college football so I thought it would be prudent for us to give out some awards.  Now these are NOT your typical college awards.  No douchiest frat boy or sluttiest sorority girl award will be given away here at SportsCrack.  Sorry fellas.  This is college football.  The only religion that actually matters on Saturday.

MIDSEASON AWARDS

OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR - Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M

DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR - Anthony Barr, UCLA

COACH OF THE YEAR - Art Briles, Baylor

MOST SURPRISING PLAYER - Zach Mettenberger, LSU

MOST DISAPPOINTING PLAYER - Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina

TRUE FRESHMAN OF THE YEAR - Vernon Hargreaves, Florida

REDSHIRT FRESHMAN OF THE YEAR - Jameis Winston, FSU

MOST SURPRISING TEAM - Missouri

MOST DISAPPOINTING TEAM - Notre Dame

BEST GAME SO FAR - Georgia 44, LSU 41

MOST OVERRATED TEAM - Miami

MOST UNDERRATED TEAM - Baylor

BCS TITLE GAME PICK - Alabama vs Oregon

MIDSEASON ALL-AMERICAN TEAM

QB Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M
RB Lache Seastrunk, Baylor
RB Bishop Sankey, Washington
WR Odell Beckham, LSU
WR Mike Evans, Texas A&M
WR Jared Abbrederis, Wisconsin
TE Troy Niklas, Notre Dame
OT Taylor Lewan, Michigan
OT Jake Matthews, Texas A&M
OG Cyril Richardson, Baylor
OG David Yankey, Stanford
C Hroniss Grasu, Oregon

DE Michael Sam, Missouri
DE Vic Beasley, Clemson
DT Aaron Donald, Pittsburgh
DT Derrick Hopkins, Virginia Tech
LB Kyle Van Noy, BYU
LB Anthony Barr, UCLA
LB CJ Mosley, Alabama
CB Blake Countess, Michigan
CB Vernon Hargreaves, Florida
S Ed Reynolds, Stanford
S Vinnie Sunseri, Alabama

K Mike Hunnicutt, Oklahoma
P Zac Murphy, Miami (OH)
KR Ty Montgomery, Stanford
PR Kevonte Martin-Manley, Iowa

TOP HEISMAN CONTENDERS
1. Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M
2. Marcus Mariota, Oregon
3. Jameis Winston, FSU
4. Tajh Boyd, Clemson
5. Bryce Petty, Baylor

TOP 10 TEAMS
1. Oregon
2. Alabama
3. Clemson
4. Baylor
5. FSU
6. Texas A&M
7. UCLA
8. Ohio State
9. LSU
10. South Carolina

The Battle of Bristol Announced Between Tennessee and Virginia Tech

160,000 fans?  Holy shit.  This is going to be epic.  Unfortunately it's going to be a snoozer of a game between two programs who's better days are way behind them.  Tennessee hasn't been good since Phil Fulmer was winning Cups in Knoxville.  Virginia Tech hasn't been a national title contender since Michael Vick was electrocuting puppies for sport.  But forget about the game itself.  The tailgating should be out of this world.  And really it's the only reason to attend the event.  Granted Tennessee and Va Tech could rebound by 2016.  But this video makes it look like a clash between Alabama and Oregon.  Clearly it is not.  Bristol, TN is not that far away from Atlanta.  I've sworn to my grave I would never attend a NASCAR event but this is different.  It's college football inside a left turn only speedway.  I would think it would be on par with attending Preakness.  Beer will be flowing.  Fuck it I'm in!

Yasiel Puig Does An Incredible Bat Flip To Break Slump

You know Brian McCann, Freddie Freeman, and the rest of the Braves were yelling profanities at their flat screens when Yasiel Puig hit this triple.  This Puig bat flip was beautiful.  Perfect form.  I give it a solid 9.5.  Too bad Puig thought it was a jack and then kind of looked stupid just staring at the ball as it hit the right field fence.  He still legged out a triple and finally broke out of his 0-for-11 skid in the NLCS with flair.  If Puig worked at Chotchkie's he would have at least 37 pieces of flair.

Oregon Cheerleaders To Wear Scary As Shit Custom Contacts Tomorrow For GameDay

@darrenrovell Custom contact lenses for our cheerleaders here at University of Oregon. Photo from Oregon Cheer acnt pic.twitter.com/QeuxMAFH2S
— Autzen Students (@AutzenStudents) October 11, 2013

Yeah I'm definitely going to be having nightmares about these stupid ass contacts the Oregon Cheerleaders are wearing tomorrow.  Why mess with a great thing?  I know it's Halloween month but WTF?  The only thing they need to be showing is their "O" face.  I'm not saying Oregon is going to lose now to Washington but I am saying they will most definitely not win because some asshole thought it would be a good idea to mess with these girl's eyes.

Authentic Notre Dame 2013 Shamrock Series HydroFX Revolution Speed Helmets Now Available to Order

Less than 100 were made of these 2013 Shamrock Series Hydroskin Riddell Revolution Speed Authentic Full Size Helmets.  These are the same exact helmets Notre Dame wore when they beat Arizona State in Dallas.  We have managed to get our hands on a few of them.  Right now we are only taking PRE ORDERS.  Shipping starts in 2-3 weeks.

PRE ORDER 2013 SHAMROCK SERIES AUTHENTIC HELMET HERE

Ylvis Performs "What Does The Fox Say?" On Jimmy Fallon

I'm being 110% honest here.  "What Does The Fox Say?" is this generation's greatest song.  It's speaks to me in ways I had no idea was possible.  It touches the soul and leaves a lasting impression.  Ylvis is a modern day Beatles.

Andrew "Maple Jordan" Wiggins Will Be The Biggest Story in College Basketball This Year

And yes we will be making a "Maple Jordan" shirt after seeing this disgusting between the legs dunk at the McDonald's All-American dunk contest.  Andrew Wiggins is from Toronto hence the "Maple Jordan" nickname which is oh so sweet.

Jadeveon Clowney Answers Media Questions About Him "Quitting"

As you probably know Jadeveon Clowney has not had the greatest junior season.  Hyped as a Heisman front runner by ESPN and multiple media outlets before the season in large part to his "hit" vs Michigan in the bowl game Clowney has not come close to producing (sacks or tackles for loss) his numbers he had his freshman and sophomore seasons.  Now there are questions about his conditioning and his heart.  Does he really want to play?  Or is he afraid to get hurt and kill his draft stock like what happened to his teammate Marcus Lattimore last season and risk losing millions of dollars?

My take: I get a Dwight Howard vibe from Clowney.  He says one thing but I don't believe him.  I don't think his coaches or teammates believe him either.  Even the Ole Ball Coach called him out a bit during his press conference after Clowney decided to sit out vs Kentucky.  Clowney knows he is going to get millions in April and doesn't want to risk it for South Carolina.  I can see where he is coming from.  It's a winning lottery ticket and you don't want to risk everything by putting it in the washing machine.  But I also wouldn't want him on my team.  If he doesn't want to play then fine.  Sit out.  But don't act like you do want to play and then pull some backdoor shit on your teammates, coaches, and fans.

What do you think about Clowney?  Is it much ado about nothing or is he really sitting out to insure his health and NFL Draft stock?

Top 10 College Football Teams and Heisman Contenders

We had another great college football Saturday.  Georgia's dream season almost ended in smoke (Tennessee smoke jerseys to be precise) as they got a couple of miracles at the end of regulation and overtime and hung on to beat a horrible Vols squad.  UGA was decimated with injuries as they lost starting tailback Keith Marshall for the season with an ACL injury and also starting receiver Justin Scott-Wesley to the same injury.  WR Michael Bennett had surgery on a torn meniscus and RB Todd Gurley is still out with a sprained ankle.  The Bulldogs will definitely be on UPSET alert this week as a somewhat hot and undefeated Mizzou team comes to Athens.

Here are my top 10 teams. These are how I would rank them in terms of overall performance and the strength of schedule they have faced.

1. Oregon

2. Alabama

3. Stanford

4. Clemson

5. Baylor

6. Georgia

7. Ohio State

8. Florida State

9. Texas A&M

10. LSU

I dropped Georgia one spot and moved Baylor up to 5.  Despite all the injuries there is no good specific reason why UGA should struggle mightily vs Tennessee.  The Volunteers are god awful and Georgia's defense is still suspect.  Baylor still hasn't played anybody great but they once again put up over 70 points (3rd time in 4 games, other game they scored 69) while demolishing West Virginia.  Their offense is unstoppable and I don't really see the logic of having them rated below Miami of all teams.  Baylor would destroy a team like the Hurricanes.  

FSU makes their first appearance in the top 10 after manhandling a decent Maryland team 63-0.  Jameis Winston had another Heisman-worthy performance and will get the week off before an epic battle next Saturday vs Clemson.  Whoever wins that game could be playing for a National Title come January.

I also got Ohio State in the top 10 for the first time at #7 after a tough road win in Northwestern.  I basically swapped them with UCLA after they squeezed by a bad Utah team.  UCLA and Washington both dropped out while the undefeated Buckeyes and Seminoles make it in there.  Both teams still have a long road ahead in order to get to the top 2.  The Buckeyes schedule is a joke so they are going to need a lot of teams to not only lose but look bad while doing it.

4 SEC Teams.

2 PAC-12 Teams.

2 ACC Teams.

1 Big 12 Team.

1 Big Ten Team.

I would also rank the conferences in strength to this top 10.  The SEC is still the breadwinner but the PAC-12 and ACC are much better this season to year's past.

TOP 5 HEISMAN CONTENDERS

1. Johnny Manziel - Johnny had plenty of time to sign autographs as the Aggies were off last week.

2. Marcus Mariota - 5 TD passes with no turnovers in another blowout.  He should get a lot of hype this week as they travel to Washington along with ESPN GameDay.

3. Jameis Winston - Tore up an undefeated Maryland team.  Only a redshirt freshman Winston is already a household name.

4. Tajh Boyd - Clemson continues to roll as Boyd threw for 5 TDs in a blowout win vs Syracuse.

5. Aaron Murray - Murray has come up big in crucial moments all season.  He did it again in Knoxville.

Red Sox Shotgunning Beers After Eliminating the Rays

Well since Monday around these parts in Atlanta was considered Black Monday with the Braves again getting eliminated in Choketober and the Falcons blowing a lead vs the shitty Jets on Monday night and falling to 1-4 it's been difficult for me to even watch anything sports related, much less talk about it.   Even though I can't stand the Red Sox this celebration put a smile on my face.  Here we have grown men making millions of dollars acting like high school kids.  I love it.  Just shotgunning beers left and right.  Blood, tears and beers.  Don't ever grow up.

Via BarStoolSports

FSU Student Lauren Hanley Needs a Famous Jameis Shirt

I mean how else is she going to cover up those warlocks?  Good lord and we thought Jameis Winston had the most talent in Tallahassee.  Clearly we were wrong.  Dead Double D Wrong.  Somebody get her a Famous Jameis shirt NOW!

PICTURES VIA BARSTOOL

Top 10 College Football Teams and Heisman Contenders

Last week finally lived up to some of the preseason hype with a great Georgia vs LSU battle in Athens and old Lane Kiffin getting his ass kicked off the team bus and fired after USC gave up 62 points to Arizona State. With Georgia winning a HUGE game they have set themselves up to reach the National Championship game if they win out. Granted one of Clemson or Oregon would have to lose one game to 100% make sure a one-loss SEC Championship winner gets into the BCS Title game but we know there is no fucking way they both go undefeated with Stanford and FSU on their schedules.

Who replaces Kiffin? My early bet would be Kevin Sumlin. Sumlin will have to replace Johnny Manziel in the offseason along with 3 starting linemen. Plus what is more attractive: College Station, TX or Hollywood? Yeah Sumlin would jump at the opportunity if given it. But you also have Jack Del Rio (no fucking way), Chris Petersen (I could see him leaving Boise), Pat Fitzgerald (seems an odd fit), and James Franklin (can't see Haden putting up with his antics) as viable candidates. Honestly it won't matter who USC hires. They will be better than Kiffin instantly.

Here are my top 10 teams. These are how I would rank them in terms of overall performance and the strength of schedule they have faced.

1. Oregon
2. Alabama
3. Stanford
4. Clemson
5. Georgia
6. Baylor
7. UCLA
8. Washington
9. Texas A&M
10. LSU

I think I'm going to regret dropping LSU that low from where I had them last week (3). The Tigers are a really good team. They just faced a better Georgia team at home with a quarterback in Aaron Murray who is playing Heisman-worthy football right now. LSU lost last minute on the road but they still can make it to the SEC Championship and possible the National Championship if they win out including battles vs Bama and Johnny Football. Could it be done? Of course. But right now I would put it at less than 25%. LSU has the feel of a 2-loss team but they are better than UCLA and Washington overall. Fuck I should have LSU definitely higher. I'll probably switch around next week.

Georgia of course makes the big climb back into the top 5. They lost a tough road game to #4 Clemson in the season opener and struggled vs North Texas but they got two tremendous victories at home vs South Carolina and LSU. Both of those victories are like getting strange 9's or 10's in Miami as opposed to banging a 7 somewhere in the Midwest.  Baylor is still the sneaky little sexy bitch with glasses out in Texas who a lot of guys are failing to recognize because they aren't Oklahoma or Texas. In fact they are much better. Again they remind me of Oregon. So much speed. Also you could interchange Oregon and Alabama at the top of the rankings. Both are great programs who could eventually meet in Pasadena. Personally I would love to see those two programs battle it out.

Noticed I've left out Ohio State and Florida State despite being undefeated behind one loss SEC teams Georgia, Aggies, and LSU.  While both the Buckeyes and Seminoles have unbelievable talents at the QB position in Braxton Miller and Jameis Winston I don't see their overall team speed and athleticism up there with the other SEC schools.  Again I could be wrong on this but they will have plenty of chances to sneak up the ladder.

TOP 5 HEISMAN CONTENDERS

1. Johnny Manziel - Johnny ran and passed all over the Hogs Saturday night.
2. Marcus Mariota - He wasn't flawless because of the monsoon in Eugene but he still lead the Ducks to 55 points vs Cal.
3. Jameis Winston - The Seminoles struggled early on but Famous Jameis came on strong and led the team to romp vs Boston College.
4. Tajh Boyd - Passed the 100 TD career mark in an impressive 49 point victory over Wake.
5. Aaron Murray - Played brilliantly while leading the Dawgs to an impressive win vs the Mad Hatter.

Yup I got all 5 contenders filled with quarterbacks.  It's another one of those years where anyone who doesn't take a snap behind center has much of a chance.  I dropped Todd Gurley (not his fault with the sprained ankle) and replaced him with Aaron Murray.  I still don't have AJ McCarron or Teddy Bridgewater in there.

Best play of the week goes to Famous Jameis with this remarkable play...

2013 Notre Dame Shamrock Series HydroFX Mini Helmets Have Shipped!

The Notre Dame 2013 Shamrock Series mini helmets made by Hydrofx started shipping yesterday.  We got about 35 left in stock if you are still interested.  Order today.  These were limited edition mini helmets and once they sell out they are gone forever.

Ships immediately!

Carlos Gomez and Brian McCann Start Benches Clearing Hissy Fit

This is the one thing I never understand about baseball "fights."  If you are going to get in somebody's face at least have the balls to throw a punch.  I'm not faulting Braves catcher Brian McCann entirely for this but you can see him talking to Brewers outfielder Carlos Gomez as he steps in to the batter's box.  This is usually never a good thing unless you are friends.  These guys clearly are not.  So I think, granted I don't know for sure, that McCann was chirping in Gomez ear about something.  Then Braves pitcher Paul Maholm who has some history with Gomez (gave up a HR and hit him twice before in the back before this at-bat) throws an absolute meat pitch.  Immediately Gomez does his slow home run trot.

And this is what pisses me off about "unwritten baseball rules."  I am a Braves fan I personally have no problem with home run trots.  Playing the game my whole life I know how hard it is to hit one out.  If you don't want the other team doing trots well then don't throw meat letter high over the middle of the plate.

Now of course Gomez is at fault here too.  He could have been the bigger man and let his bat do the talking instead of his mouth.  He immediately started yelling at McCann, Maholm and then first basemen Freddie Freeman while rounding the bases.  It's a punk move on his part no doubt.  But let's don't act like the Braves are not complicit here.

Which brings me back to McCann.  Why are you blocking home plate?  I get it.  You are pissed off at Gomez for running his mouth after hitting a bomb but why are you not being the bigger man and letting it go?  Playoffs start next week.  The Braves don't need you suspended or hurt during a fight.  And you guys are fighting for home field advantage which is way more important than any yelling match with some player on a shitty team.  Freeman, the MVP of the team, gets ejected and the Braves go on to get shutout and are now behind the Cardinals for home field.

That is the punk move.  The Braves need to be focusing on the bigger picture here.  Gomez and his home run trot don't mean shit.  Home field and having everyone in your lineup healthy ready for the playoffs means a lot.  So I'm faulting McCann here even though I love him.  He might have cost the Braves not only home field (Braves have the best record at home, mediocre on the road) but some momentum going into the playoffs.  Because in the long run all the showmanship of a trot doesn't mean shit unless you win.  And Gomez and the Brewers won while getting under the Braves skin.

In conclusion: focus on the bigger goal Braves.  I don't want to hear any excuses come playoff time.  Last year it was the "one game playoff" and "infield fly" that wasn't fair.  I don't want to hear it anymore.  It's bullshit.  I also don't want to hear about the umpires.  It's bullshit.  Go out and win.  That should be the main and only focus.  And for the love of God ignore assholes like Gomez.  We don't need any "fights" or ejections going into the playoffs.

Go Bravos!

UCLA Linebacker Anthony Barr Nearly Killed This Poor New Mexico State QB

Is Anthony Barr a top 10 pick in the NFL Draft?  He has to be.  This kid is 6'4, 255 lbs and absolutely destroys quarterbacks.  Remember Matt Barkley last year?  Without Barr's knockout hit there is a good chance Notre Dame doesn't beat USC to get to the National Title.  Of course Barr is a Notre Dame legacy (Dad is Tony Brooks and Uncle is Reggie Brooks) who never made it to South Bend.  It would have been sick to see him in the real Blue and Gold on the edge with Notre Dame last season.  By the way there was nothing illegal about his hit here.  Just a clean shit-knocking-football hit.

Atlanta Braves Baselines Parody Music Video Features Cameo by Javy Lopez

Um I'm almost 100% positive the original video by Robin Thicke had topless chicks dancing around.  This video is very suspect without it.  Seeing former Braves great Javy Lopez in it doesn't quite make up for the lack of boobs.

The one featured Braves girl though definitely has a bright future.  She even looks a little bit like model Emily Ratajkowski.

Put some more hugs in the video and it's tolerable.  Barely.

#FearTheChop

Oakland A's Beer Swigging Baby All The Rage Right Now

Now this is definitely NOT legal: pic.twitter.com/twhJIjiHHZ
— Isaac Ropp (@iropp) September 23, 2013

This baby knows how to party!  While others were shitting in their pants, sucking their thumbs, and looking gross this baby stepped up his game for the Oakland A's AL West Division Champs celebration.  This baby can play on my team any day.

Top 10 College Football Teams and Heisman Contenders

Last Saturday was by far the worst college football weekend in terms of match ups and upsets.  No upsets.  No good games.  But luckily for us it will be the only weekend since the games get much more tougher as the season goes on and conference battles start.

Here are my top 10 teams.  These are how I would rank them in terms of overall performance and the strength of schedule they have faced.

1. Oregon 

2. Alabama

3. LSU

4. Stanford

5. Clemson

6. Baylor

7. UCLA

8. Washington

9. Texas A&M

10. Georgia

I got Oregon over Bama because the Tide despite the strong win in College Station have looked rather miserable in wins over Va Tech and Colorado State.  I know it goes against my premise of you can't drop the #1 team until someone knocks them down but they just aren't the same Bama from last year.  Oregon on the other hand is playing way better than I expected after Chip Kelly left for the NFL.  I thought they would take a step back but they haven't skipped a beat.  Similar to what Stanford went through in their head coaching transition a couple of seasons back.  LSU might be the best team in the country.  Unfortunately they also have the toughest schedule.  They have to go to Athens this week and still have games against Bama, Johnny Football, and Ole Miss.  Don't laugh but Baylor could be the Oregon from 3 years ago who played Auburn for the Natty.  Their offense is ridiculous (over 60 points 3 games in a row) and Art Briles can coach with the best of them.  I think right now they are clearly the best team in the Big 12 over Oklahoma and Okie State.

Now I know SEC people will want to rip my throat out for this but look at my top 10 and think for a second (maybe two if that is possible) about the PAC 12 as a legit power football conference.  Oregon and Stanford have already proven they are top 10 programs with big BCS Bowl wins in recent years.  But UCLA and Washington are coming on strong too.   I wouldn't take them over Bama and LSU but I could see them beating UGA and the Aggies on a neutral field.

TOP 5 HEISMAN CONTENDERS

1.  Johnny Manziel - He's the best player in the nation.

2.  Marcus Mariota - He only gets to play a half of football but when he does it's flawless.

3.  Jameis Winston - Jameis Christ is already a God in Tallahassee.

4.  Todd Gurley - Still the best RB in the nation but Baylor's Seastrunk is coming on strong.

5.  Tajh Boyd - He looked rather pedestrian vs NC State on Thursday.  One more bad game and he's out.

Braves Clinch NL East Title

It's hard to believe it's been since 2005 since the Atlanta Braves won the NL East.  The streak ended  yesterday in Chicago with a shower of champagne and Bud Light in the visitor's clubhouse. Congratulations go out to general manager Frank Wren for constructing a club that is solid from 1-to-25 and could sustain multiple major injuries (Huddy, Venters, O'Flaherty, Heyward, McCann, etc.) and player slumps (BJ and Uggla) and really not skip a beat all season. Also big props go out to manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's kept a loose clubhouse all season and you can see in the players that they love playing for him.

 I love seeing the Falcon's game in the clubhouse when they are celebrating.

 Now go out and win the homefield this last week. If the Braves are going to make it back to the World Series for the first time in over a decade they have to clinch it over St. Louis and the Dodgers. Currently they are up 1.5 games on the Cards for it. The Braves have the majors best record at home.  When they are away from the Ted they are only a .500 team.  Winning homefield at the Ted is imperative for a successful postseason.

With just a week left and if Heyward can come back completely healthy this would be my lineup for the playoffs.

1. Heyward - CF
2. Justin Upton - RF
3. Freeman - 1B
4. Chris Johnson - 3B
5. McCann - C
6. Gattis - LF
7. Simmons - SS
8. Elliott Johnson - 2B
9. Pitcher

I'm going with a 3-man rotation of:
1. Medlen
2. Teheran
3. Minor

Put Alex Wood and Paul Maholm as the long relievers if needed. No way either one of them should start a playoff game in my opinion. Roll with the 3 Aces and go from there.

Also get Jordan Schafer in there starting if Gattis is scuffling because his defense and speed are the best on the team in the outfield.  But there is no way you can start either one of BJ Upton or Dan Uggla.  They don't deserve to start and I don't care how much money they make.  It's playoff time.  You start your best players who have performed.

Now go out and win a World Series!

Famous Jameis Shirts Now Available!

Order the original Famous Jameis Shirt here! Available in adult sizes Small-3XL. Hanes tagless 50/50 shirt. Soft feel.

10% of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

Exclusive Breaking Video of Nebraska Head Coach Bo Pelini's Profane Rant

Seems legit. I don't know what Nebraska can do other than axe the coach. I mean it's as clear as day here that Bo Pelini hates all things Nebraska. He probably doesn't even eat corn or buy products with corn in it.

El Oso Blanco With The Dick Shot Homer

Or was it the balls?  Either way that guy got fucking nailed in his junk by an El Oso Blanco blast in Miami last night.  I'd say there is a pretty good chance he has baseball stitches on his shit for days after taking a monster shot from the legend of Evan Gattis.

SportsCrack Week 3 Top 10 Teams and Heisman Contenders

1.  Alabama - Bama conveniently had the week off to prepare for Johnny Football and the Aggies.  What they didn't have time to prepare for is the shitstorm about to hit with players getting paid by agents.  Trouble in Tuscaloosa?  Yup.

2.  Clemson - The Tigers were in cruise control last week vs South Carolina State and get this week off before traveling to NC State for a huge Thursday night game.

3.  Oregon - The Ducks could make a solid case for being the most impressive team so far this season.  They are averaging over 60 points a game and this week they get the Vols who should get crushed.

4.  Stanford - Beat a good San Jose St team.  They travel across the country to get Army this week before a big home game vs Arizona St next week.

5.  LSU - Mettenberger has been lights out so far.  If the Bayou Bengals can keep up their scoring pace they could be playing for #1 in two weeks vs Georgia.

6.  Ohio State - I moved the Buckeyes up a lot because I was impressed how easily they dominated San Diego St despite losing Braxton Miller to an injury.  They get Cal this week in Berkeley.

7.  FSU - Didn't play.

8.  Louisville - Teddy Bridgewater was his normal Superman self with a convincing win against East Kentucky.  This week they get a SEC team...Kentucky.  Whoopity fucking do.

9.  Texas A&M - Their defense looks like shit but they got Johnny Football so who cares.  They got a big game this week vs some team called Bama.  Win and they will get #1 votes.

10.  Michigan - Devin Gardner played great Under The Lights and the Wolverines held off a tough Notre Dame team.  They don't play anybody before traveling to Happy Valley in mid October.

Top 5 Heisman Front Runners

My top 5 hasn't changed one bit since last week.  Not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

1.  Jameis Winston, FSU - He should be able to pad his stats vs Nevada this week and Bethune-Cookman next week.

2.  Tajh Boyd, Clemson - If Clemson goes undefeated Boyd will win the Heisman.

3.  Marcus Mariota, Oregon - He absolutely shredded Virginia.

4.  Teddy Bridgewater, Louisville - He can make all the throws and this week he goes against a "SEC defense."

5.  Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M; Todd Gurley, Georgia - All of these top 6 guys are basically interchangeable at this point.  If Manziel beats Bama again then he's #1 on the list.  If Gurley continues to put up monster numbers vs good teams he will get an invite to NYC.

Braxton Miller Nearly Decapitated, Urban Meyer thinks he can play this week

Urban Meyer has gone on record saying junior quarterback Braxton Miller could play this week vs Cal.  Umm are you fucking serious coach?  Did you not see your QB nearly get his head taken off?  Apparently they are claiming Miller didn't suffer a concussion of any kind but instead has a sprained MCL in his left knee vs San Diego State.  The Buckeyes and more importantly Meyer need to do the right thing and let Miller rest this week vs Cal.  Backup quarterback Kenny Guiton played great on Saturday and the Buckeyes didn't miss a beat.  But more important is Miller's long term health.  Don't be a dick Urban.  Rest the kid.

UGA Finally Beat South Carolina But This Fan Has No Memory Of It

Some people just can't handle Athens.  While South Carolina was trying their Cockiness to stop Aaron Murray and the Dawgs from running up and down the field in Sanford this UGA fan flat out tailgated way too hard.  Luckily for him a Georgia Trooper was there to help him home.  And by home I mean beat the shit out of him, throw him in jail, and charge him with assault and disorderly conduct.

Jason Witten Sums Up My Football Weekend

Saturday was rough enough watching Notre Dame lose yet again in the Big House (I genuinely hate that fucking place) and then Sunday got jealous of Saturday so I got the pleasure of watching the Atlanta Falcons lose yet again in New Orleans.  The football gods were not kind.  But at least it's still early on in the season and both teams can regroup and refocus on winning out.  Chances of that happening are less than 1% but a boy* can dream right?

*=delusional gambling alcoholic with a football problem.

Brady Hoke Thinks Notre Dame Is Chicken

First thing that comes to Michigan head coach Brady Hoke when asked about Notre Dame is chicken.  I'm just as shocked as you.  I would have thought donut or pizza.

Rate This Hakuna Machado Video

I give it a 5.  The song is catchy but how do you have a video about rising superstar Manny Machado and not include Orioles legends Brooks Robinson and Cal Ripken?  Put those two icons in there and it's an easy 10.

Johnny Football Caught Signing Autographs During the Game

If you look a little closer Johnny Manziel is up to his old shenanigans again.  Signing autographs in the middle of a play!  That game used touchdown ball personally autographed by Manziel is worth thousands and hopefully poor little Johnny can get his compensation.

Pay that man his money!



Via CampusUnion

South Carolina Fan Has Some UGA Fighting Words

"Mark Richt... good Christian fellow... you can talk to Jesus and all that and it's cool but you are about to get FUCKED UP!" - South Carolina poet Steve Davisor

Eastbound and Down Trailer for Season 4

Kenny Powers is back for the final season of EastBound and Down on HBO.  Brings a tear to my eye. We have seen Kenny grow from a petulant self-entitled asshole to be a more petulant self-entitled asshole.  It's been a beautiful process.  The final season kicks off September 29th which leaves me in a huge predicament.  The day before I will be up at Notre Dame watching the Fighting Irish kick the living shit out of Choke-la-homa and then on the night Kenny Powers brings his fastball back I will be in the Georgia Dome watching the Dirty Birds put 50 up on the Patriots.  I will be so burned out on ass-kicking football that I can't give Powers my full attention till Monday.  This probably means I need to turn in my Kenny Powers Superfan card.*

* = case of Natty Light

SportsCrack Week 2 Top 10 Teams and Heisman Contenders

Every week this season I will be releasing the SportsCrack top 10 teams along with our Heisman Trophy front runners.  Be sure to add how much you agree with me in the comments.


1.  Alabama - Yes I know they got out gained and pushed around at times by an average Hokies team but they are still the two-time returning National Champs.

2.  South Carolina - They looked awesome even with Clowney shitting the bed in the opener vs North Carolina.  Huge game this week vs Georgia in Athens.

3.  Clemson - The Tigers beat a very good Georgia team.  With Tajh Boyd they can beat anybody.

4.  Oregon - The stat sheet they put up vs Nicholls State is ludicrous.

5.  Stanford - They didn't play.  Too busy watching Revenge of the Nerds.

6.  LSU - I will be the first to admit I wasn't sure if Les Miles and the gang had it in them to beat TCU.
They did impressively.

7.  Notre Dame - Put the cruise control on after scoring early vs Temple.  Brian Kelly has no idea what Michigan football is.  Awesome.

8.  FSU - Jameis Winston put on a show Monday night.  With him at QB the Noles can compete with anybody.  Yes even SEC teams.

9.  Louisville - I don't see anybody on their schedule that can beat them.  Granted they don't play anybody.

10.  Ohio State - Their defense still looks very suspect.  Luckily for Urban none of his players were named suspects by the Columbus PD.  Not this week at least.


Top 5 Heisman Front Runners

1.  Jameis Winston, FSU - Nobody was more impressive this weekend.  25-for-27 with 5 TDs overall.  Flat out stud.

2.  Tajh Boyd, Clemson - Made every big play vs Georgia in an "upset" win.

3.  Marcus Mariota, Oregon - Deadly for Scoregon again.

4.  Teddy Bridgewater, Louisville - If I had the 1st pick in the NFL Draft I'm taking Bridgewater over Clowney.

5.  Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M; Todd Gurley, Georgia - I couldn't pick one over the other.  Gurley is the best back in the nation.  No question about that.  Manziel is of course the reigning Heisman winner.

Famous Jameis Winston Exceeds Lofty Expectations

All spring and summer I've been hearing constant talk from FSU fans about how "Godly" redshirt freshman QB Jameis Winston was playing in practice.  Winston was in their eyes the next Charlie Ward yet better.  Granted I've heard some of the same stories about EJ Manuel and Chris Rix so I tempered my expectations.  Last night not only did Winston meet those expectations he speared them to the ground.

"Famous Jameis" completed 25-of-27 passes for 4 touchdowns and also ran for another vs Pitt in a primetime Monday night game on ESPN.  Winston literally looked like he was playing 7-on-7 with the precision and accuracy he was putting on his passes to his receivers.  Winston was simply unstoppable. He did look like Ward but better.  The FSU fans were right for once.  And it wasn't like he shredded some awful defense.  Pitt was a top 20 overall defense last season who returned 8 starters.

Jameis Winston is the real deal.  He looked like a senior last night.  Is he the Heisman frontrunner?  I wouldn't go that far but with Winston at QB I think this is the first legit Seminoles team to compete for a Natty in over a decade.  Winston is that great.

Mark your calendar for October 19th.  FSU travels to Clemson in a game that could essentially be an elimination game to get into the BCS Title game.  With Clemson's impressive win over Georgia it looks like they can compete for a title.  Granted we are still 6 weeks away from FSU vs Clemson but it looks like it will be an epic matchup that could not only determine who plays for the ACC Championship but also who is the Heisman frontrunner and who still has a shot at winning it all.