BRYCE BROWN LEAVES TENNESSEE VIA TEXT MESSAGE

It takes a complete asshole to tell your head coach you are leaving school through a text message. Former Vol RB Bryce Brown should have been man enough to do it through Facebook. Right?

“Bryce left town without a face-to-face request (with UT football coach Derek Dooley) for a transfer,” a school official told the News Sentinel on Tuesday evening. “There’s still no news on where he wants to go.”

There has been considerable speculation that the consensus high school All-American running back from Wichita would transfer to Kansas State, where his older brother is now enrolled.

Brown, who was the No. 1 attraction in former UT coach Lane Kiffin’s 2009 recruiting class, didn’t take part in spring practice following Kiffin’s departure for the head-coaching job at Southern California and wasn’t expected to rejoin the team. But there was just enough doubt to make for an ongoing story.

The story continued Tuesday. Dooley addressed it at a local Rotary Club luncheon.

“I said (earlier) that I was open to Bryce coming back on the condition that he wanted to unpack his bags and put his heart into this program,” Dooley said. “I fully expect Bryce not to be on our team.

“The reason it has continued on is because Bryce has not come to me, looked me in the eye and said I want a release to so-and-so school. At some point, that’s got to happen.”

Brown, the #1 rated player coming out of Kansas in high school, left the good old fashion Lane Kiffin way. He pussed out. Losing Brown is a major blow to the Tennessee football program and new head coach Derek Dooley no matter how much they try to spin it. Brown as a true freshman tailback ran for 460 yards while also catching 10 passes for 137 yards out of the backfield. He was the primary backup to Montario Hardesty who rushed for 1345 yards. Now both of them are not at Tennessee. The Vols will now have no game experience at the tailback position. Ruh roh.


Tauren Poole is a sophomore with no experience and David Oku and Toney Williams are both true freshmen who will have a tough time picking up the speed of the college game at least for the early part of the season. The Volunteers could be historically bad this year with junior college transfer Matt Simms (oh fuck another Simms in college, hide the weed) looking like the early leader to be taking snaps behind center. They have to play Oregon, Florida, LSU, Georgia and Alabama within the first 7 weeks of the season. They should lose all of them.

Better yet they might not show up. They could just text SEC Commissioner Mike Silve: "We can't make it LOL."

Brown is no doubt a huge vagina for leaving in this manner which makes him a perfect fit at USC with Kiffin. Not only is he one of the most talented running backs in the college game but his transfer to USC would probably cause the media to explode with stories about how Kiffin loves to finger blast recruits with money and women and empty promises of future stardom. If there is a God he will make this happen. What can Brown do for USC? More sanctions.


Image via AthlonSports

SAMUEL JACKSON ATLANTA FALCONS RISE UP COMMERCIAL

It's time for the 9-7 Falcons to "Rise Up?" Ok. I actually don't mind the commercial as much as the whole "Rise Up" theme. They probably paid Samuel Jackson a cool million to do the commercial so they might as well make it exciting. Something that makes you feel like you are at a football game and not in church singing hymns. And where the fuck are the Matty Ice shirts? Those shirts alone get people jacked up for some Falcon's football. But no, not one Matty Ice shirt. They should have had Jackson playing Jules and Freddie the Falcon dressed up as Vincent Vega. Now that shit would have been cool. They could have reenacted scenes from Pulp Fiction and just replaced some of the characters with the mascots from the Carolina Panthers and Tampa Bay Bucanneers and Drew Brees birthmark/mole. The hamburger scene would have been perfect.


No worries though. The Falcons are winning the NFC South. The Saints will slip this year. Brees is too busy selling Pyramid schemes to those poor souls in New Orleans to realize Matt Ryan and the Falcons have reloaded. The offense will of course score a ton of points but the key is the defense. It should be greatly improved with new additions DL Peria Jerry, LB Sean Weatherspoon, and CB Dunta Robinson all destroying opponents. Falcons go 12-4, maybe 13-3.

Playoffs baby. Playoffs.

NIKE AD LIKES THEM BIG AND ROUND

TheRapUp posted this new Nike Ad which says it's okay to have some junk in the trunk. And you know what? I completely agree. Flat butts are boring. So I believe the point of this advertisement is to make all the skinny bean pole girls with no asses to feel really self conscious about their back door and go out and get butt implants to make themselves more curvy and attractive. Bravo Nike. Bravo. You did it again.

In honor of the big butts I present Kim Kardashian. Queen of the asses.



And one last goodbye shot from last week...

BYU STUDENTS GONE WILD

Those crazy Mormons. This is probably the wildest it gets at BYU. You know besides the massive polygamist cult orgies they have for orientation. There were over 3900 Cougars throwing water balloons at each other making it the largest water balloon fight in recorded history. I guess that is something to be proud of. And don't worry there were no black people injured because...well...you know why.

Video HT: Extra Mustard

ANOTHER REASON WHY I LOVE MARTIN PRADO

Martin Prado should have run for governor of Georgia. Ok so maybe he is Venezuelan and not a US Citizen but the guy speaks the truth. Nate McLouth does suck. McLouth is batting like .00000004 for the season. It's so bad I don't even want to bother looking it up. Everyone knows he can't hit but nobody has the balls to say it. Except for Martin Fucking Prado. This is why he is the MVP of the National League. Besides hitting upper deck home runs and being a team leader he preaches the truth. If Prado were GM he would send McLouth down to the minors and bring back Gregor Blanco. Thank you Prado for having the balls to speak your mind. Now go ahead and Nancy Kerrigan McLouth's knee.



Big ass HT to Billy Holcombe for the Prado image.

TENNESSEE TITANS SUE LANE KIFFIN AND USC

Another sign the apocalypse is upon us: stupid lawsuits. The Tennessee Titans and former USC Trojan and current Titan's head coach Jeff Fisher got their panties in a bunch this weekend when they found out Lane Kiffin stole Titan's running backs coach Kennedy Pola to take over the USC offensive coordinator's job. Now the Titans are suing Kiffin and USC. No bull shit.

The Titans on Monday filed a lawsuit against the University of Southern Cal and head coach Lane Kiffinfor “maliciously” interfering with the contract of running backs coach Kennedy Pola.

The lawsuit was filed in Davidson County Chancery Court and it claims Pola breached his contract with the Titans after being induced by Kiffin. Pola, hired by the Titans in January, was hired by USC over the weekend as the school’s new offensive coordinator.

The lawsuit states “as a result of USC and Kiffin’s tortuous conduct, Tennessee (Titans) football has been damaged in an amount proven at trial.’’

Listen, I hate USC and Lane Kiffin as much as 99.9% of the rest of you but this lawsuit is fucking dumb. Fisher is mad at Kiffin because Kiffin never contacted him before offering the job to Pola. Usually it is polite to at least contact the other teams officials and ask for permission to offer a contract. It's kind of an unwritten rule in the coaching profession. What I don't get is the Titans getting all pissy about it. It's fucking Lane Kiffin. The guy is a fucking brat. Of course he isn't going to ask permission. Hell, Al Davis gave him a head coaching job at the age of 31. Kiffin is use to getting what he wants. He doesn't need Fisher's permission.

There is no need to waste taxpayers money on something this stupid. All coaches are replaceable and if the guy decided to leave then fuck him. Move on. The fact that the Titans are filing a lawsuit over a running backs coach leaving them just smells like rotten vagina. Kiffin maybe an asshole but Jeff Fisher is being a pussy and the Titans organization are a bunch of dicks for suing them over something so frivolous.



So in conclusion fuck all of them. I rest my case.

FORMULA TRUCK TRACTOR CRASH IN BRAZIL

ExtraMustard has the amazing crash footage of two tractor trailers in Brazil. Holy balls! I had no idea the Brazilians loved tractor trailers. Do we have this shit here? I've seen truck racing but not tractor trucks. It's like a real life Transformers episode. No worries on the accident. Both drivers walked away.

CATHOLICS VS CONVICTS BUY THIS SHIRT NOW

I know what you are going to say before you even say it. "Holy shit, he did it again!"

That's right folks. We again designed one of the coolest mother fucking t-shirts on the planet. For only $17 you can pimp (aka Nick Saban) the new "Catholics Versus Convicts" shirt and show the world what you think about the ND-Miami series coming to Chicago in 2012. Just sporting this shirt is bound to get you A)Free High Fives B)Free Booze C)Free Boobs D)Free Food E)Free Smiles and F)Plenty of Attention. That is what SportsCrack.com tee shirts do for you. So go ahead and BUY ONE NOW and you can thank me later. Or now. Whatever.

ADIOS AMIGOS

I hope all of you degenerates have a very safe and disease free weekend. It's going to be hot as fuck so be sure to drink plenty of beer to stay dehydrated. I leave you with another highlight of the Orioles season. This one comes courtesy of pitcher Jake Arrieta. He seems to be right on target which is unfortunate for Carl Crawford...

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE ORIOLES SEASON

If you have been wondering why haven't written much about the Orioles this season it is because they suck so bad it's not even worth mentioning. The Orioles have only won 30 games all season thanks to a horrible lineup that has been minus 2B Brian Roberts all season and one in which the Switch hitting Jesus known as Matt Wieters has looked like he has been nailed to the cross since leaving the minors. The pitching has been awful. Brian Matusz, Jake Arrieta, and Chris Tillman were suppose to be the next great cavalry of starting pitchers and all of them have struggled in the rough AL East. The season has been so bad that I am actually shocked when the Orioles are winning. At any point in the game.

Anyways, they haven't been worth mentioning until yesterday. Ty Wigginton helped his trade stock by going ape shit on the umpire and for good reason. The runner was clearly out. Pitching coach Rich Kranitz was ejected shortly after for arguing with the blues and then interim manager Juan Samuel went ballistic on the home umpire. Finally. They look like they actually care. Granted the Orioles still got shut out by Tom Selleck...I mean Carl Pavano, but they showed some heart out there and the crowd fed off it.

Unfortunately nothing is going to change the losing culture in Camden Yards until Peter Angelos sells the team. Angelos is no Steinbrenner. He's cheap. He's a piece of shit lawyer. And he pockets most of his money (granted he does give to charity). The losing will continue until he either gives up on life (and then they will probably go to his sons) or he decides to sell the team to someone who actually wants to invest in the product on the field. The team sucks in so many ways it's hard to just point out one thing. The scouting is awful. They need a lot more scouts who actually know what they are doing. The international signings are almost nonexistent. They need to bump up their presence in the Latin Countries like Dominican Republic and Venezuela. They also need to develop their minor league talent....badly. They also need to expand the payroll to around $120 million. The fans will come if you put a decent product on the field. Baltimore used to sell out every game when they rolling in the 90's. Now nobody will buy a ticket because the product on the field is shit.

Sell the team Angelos and the fans will come.

NOTRE DAME'S MICHAEL FLOYD AND MIKE RAGONE VS. FAST PITCH SOFTBALL

Honestly I don't know how many of those pitches I could hit either. And I play baseball. Poorly I may add. Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd is a hell of a player on the football field but I don't think he would be able to hit the Mendoza line in little league baseball. His swing is absolutely brutal. It's like he has club feet or some other deformity. Notre Dame tight end Mike Ragone definitely looked more natural out there with the bat. He took one opposite field which is pretty impressive. It's always embarrassing to get shown up by a female but in this case I think it can be forgiven. She was throwing darts.

Video HT: Ragone

Slive to Kiffin... kind of

Am I the only one who caught SEC Commissioner, Mike Slive's comments (seemingly) regarding Lame Kiffin? Check out ESPN's Chris Low and his SEC Blog regarding what Slive had to say on Day 1 of the SEC Media Days.

HOOVER, Ala. -- It took SEC commissioner Mike Slive less than five minutes to take a back-handed jab at former Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin on Wednesday.

It’s no secret in SEC circles that Slive was glad to see Kiffin leave the conference and bolt for Southern California, especially given the way Kiffin ran through secondary violations and kept it stirred up in the league.

In his opening comments to kick off the SEC media days, Slive welcomed the three new coaches to the league. And though he never mentioned Lane Kiffin by name, Slive did make reference to Dooley’s “predecessor leaving to return to his western roots.”

“I want to welcome Derek Dooley, and when I say welcome, I mean welcome,” said Slive, who drew a course of laughter from the media members in the main ballroom.

Unlike Slive, I personally will miss the chance to see you try and try again, yet fail repeatedly in the SEC. I do wish Derek Dooley success, but seeing a Dooley in anything other than Red and Black seems simply absurd!

A WEDDING TOAST THAT WILL MAKE YOU PUKE

I don't blame her. I started getting a little dizzy and nauseous just listening to this guy explain love. This guy has obviously seem one too many romantic comedies. I love the fact she tried to hold it in. Nothing is worse than holding in your own vomit.

Video via BarStoolSports

THIS IS ME IN 20 YEARS

Granted I will have less hair and won't look like Will Ferrell in Zoolander. But the enthusiasm is contagious. Love the tongue action too.

Video HT: Felix

UGA NOW BEING INVESTIGATED BY NCAA, RENNIE CURRAN NOT HELPING

The NCAA infraction committee is treating the SEC Media Days like they are Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday. They are sick and tired of putting up with the bull shit it seems. The bull shit being inscrupulous agents who suck on the blood of the finest players in college football.

Yesterday it was confirmed that the NCAA will now send investigators to Athens to "inquire" about certain football players attending the same agent party in Miami that has already gotten Alabama's Marcel Dareus ruled ineligible for the 2010 season because of his attendance. The rumors have been swirling that wide receiver A.J. Green is one of the players in question. I hope this isn't true only because it would be another All-American I would have to take off my preseason team. Green has come out and flat out denied he has ever been to Miami.

Green, Georgia’s top pro prospect, has said that he was asked by a Georgia official on Tuesday if he attended the agent’s party in Miami and that he said no.

He reiterated this morning that he has “never” been to Miami.

“I’m not even focused on that,” Green said of the tumult about the NCAA probe. “I’m just focused on getting ready for the season.”

Asked if he is worried about what might come of the investigation, Green said simply: “No.”

Asked if it is a hassle, he said: “Not really. Just random stuff, but it’s not a hassle.”

With the NCAA snooping around the campus of Georgia it would probably be wise for both current players and past players to keep their opinions to themselves until the investigation is over. Unfortunately for Georgia and their fans one of their former players, LB Rennie Curran, decided to go on Twitter yesterday and let off some steam in regards to the NCAA.

Via Rennie Curran's (LiberianDream35) Twitter account...

when there are video games being made of you, your jerseys getting sold, your family is struggling n you don't even get a dime except pell
about 16 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Can't believe how hard the ncaa is trying to crack down on college athletes. How can expect someone not to look to outside sources.
about 16 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Oh no. If you are a Georgia fan this is not what you want to hear right now. Curran has every right in this nation to open up his mouth and voice his feelings but he should have probably waited to say "how can expect someone not to look to outside sources." This would imply the current Nashville Titan's LB had either received improper benefits while in school or knew of teammates who did. This will not help the investigation.

Listen, I would be a fool to sit here and say players don't receive improper benefits. Of course they do. They are football players and the schools use them to generate hundreds of millions in revenue every year. There is bound to be someone getting money here or there on the side. It's just the way it works. And it happens everywhere. Not just USC. Not just SEC schools. Everywhere. Yes, including schools like Notre Dame and Duke. There are too many outside forces for schools to regulate every player. But what they can do is inquire and not look the other way like USC did with Reggie Bush.

So hopefully with this whole NCAA investigation into this Miami party we learn that none of these players will be suspended because of A)Marvin Austin, Dareus, and Green are all on my preseason All-American team and I don't want to go to the hassle of taking them off and B)dude, it's a fucking party. Get over it.

After all I thought the whole reason to go to college was for the parties.

Image via Al.com

NICK SABAN NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE PIMP COMMENTS

Pimps ain't going to put up with no foosball coach bull shit. Now make me some pancakes bitch!

Image via EDSBS

WATER SLIDE FAIL

Seriously why the fuck do people do this? The point of a water slide is to land in water right? Last time I went I'm pretty positive they had water at the end of the slide. Seeing how poorly this idea was to go down the slide clearly indicates these guys could be top scouts for the Baltimore Orioles. Hell, they could even be director of operations if they fuck up enough.

ALABAMA DL MARCEL DAREUS DECLARED INELIGIBLE IN 2010 OVER AGENT TRIP

The defending National Champions learned today that one of their star lineman has been ruled ineligible for the 2010 season due to a party he attended in Miami which he was hosted by a NFL agent. Star defensive end and future NFL first rounder Marcel Dareus has a lot of questions to answer to the NCAA and until he does it he will not be eligible to play according to the Tuscaloosa News.

University of Alabama defensive end Marcell Dareus has been declared ineligible and is believed to be the only UA player who attended a party in Miami hosted by a sports agent, a source close to the situation told The Tuscaloosa News.

UA will petition immediately for the reinstatement of Dareus' eligibility. The NCAA will make the ultimate ruling on when, or if, Dareus will be reinstated. It is standard procedure for a player to be declared ineligible immediately whenever a question of whether the player violated NCAA rules arises.

UA is conducting an investigation into whether Dareus paid his own expenses for the
trip, and whether the circumstances of the trip constitute an NCAA violation. Under NCAA rules, student-athletes are not permitted to accept cash or anything of value from sports agents or their representatives.

Between the recent NCAA hammering of USC with the Reggie Bush scandal and the investigation into North Carolina's Marvin Austin and South Carolina's Weslye Saunders attending the same party as Dareus it is clear that the NCAA wants to eliminate these rogue agents who pay football players before they declare for the draft. NCAA rules state you can not accept gifts or money of any kind from sports agents as a student-athlete or you will be ruled ineligible. The players know the rules so it's not completely the agent's fault for breaking the rules.

What the NCAA and the NFL need to do is start identifying these NFL agents who violate the rules and give them suspensions from representing any future clients for at least 1-3 years. I think this would help curtail some of these ongoing issues with agents ruining a player's eligibility.

Losing Dareus would be a huge blow for the Crimson Tide. Coming off a team leading 6.5 sacks last year, the rising junior is expected to be a top NFL draft pick if he does come out early. He was the defensive MVP of the BCS National Championship game as he took an interception to the house last year....


He also was responsible for taking Colt McCoy out of the game with this hit...


The Tide have depth but Dareus is one of those guys no team can simply replace. He is fast, big, and extremely athletic for a man his size (6'4 306 lbs) and creates havoc in Bama's 3-4 defense.

Of course head coach Nick Saban is about to go postal with the thoughts of losing his star defensive player. He compared these roguesports agents to pimps today at the SEC Media Day.

“How are they (agents) any better than a pimp?” Saban asked.

Not sure I see the relation but okay. I would love to see Saban go ape shit on some agent who gets near his practice field. Until then we can only pray more football players don't make the mistake of taking money. Chances of that happening are not good.


Picture via Getty Images

LB CHRIS MARTIN TRANSFERS AGAIN...THIS TIME TO FLORIDA

In yet another chapter in "The Curious Case of Prep LB Chris Martin" saga comes today's news that he has again decided to transfer. This time he will leave Cal-Berkeley after only two weeks on campus to go play for the anxiety riddled Urban Meyer and the Florida Gators. This should get even more interesting.

A day after he notified the University of California about his intent to transfer, former Grandview High School linebacker Chris Martin announced Wednesday he will be heading to the University of Florida.

Cal coach Jeff Tedford announced the transfer decision of the 6-foot-5, 245-pound linebacker on Monday, saying he supported the choice of Scout.com's top-ranked outside linebacker who had more than 100 tackles, 11 sacks and five forced fumbles in 2009 for Grandview.

A day later, Martin made his choice of Florida public on his facebook page, saying: "I would like to thank everyone who has been supportive of me through my crazy mental episodes. A special thank you to my mother and father who have supported me no matter what. I love you both. God has granted me a second chance. A chance I cannot mess up. With that said. Go Gators. Thank You to everyone and all the coaches who showed their interest in me."

In the past 6 months Martin has gone from Notre Dame (verbal commitment non binding) to enrolling at Cal to now transferring to Florida. In high school he transferred from his original Oakland California high school after three seasons to the Hunn School in New Jersey for his senior season only to transfer shortly after to another high school in Aurora, Colorado where he graduated but surely would have transferred again if given the option (a joke but not really). So in the space of a year he has transferred or changed his mind on schools 5 times.

Sounds like Martin is of stable mind. 18 year old kids can be known to change their minds as often as they change girlfriends but the Martin case is puzzling. It sounds like the kid has no idea what he wants. He may have all the talent in the world (#1 rated outside linebacker) and any school would love to have him on their roster but I'm not sure his flakiness is worth dealing with. You have to wonder if he will even stick in Gainesville.

I have my doubts.

Picture via ESPN

Should Larry Retire?

You have to give Chipper all of the props in the world. He's been amazing for the Bravos and for baseball in general. One of the last players from the era of loyalty in baseball, he's a man who has publicly admitted he would retire before becoming an embarrassment to his team. Granted, he has been injury plagued over the last couple of seasons, but this guy goes out everyday, plays as hard as he can, demonstrates leadership in the clubhouse, demonstrates generosity in his community, and has been embraced as the face of the Braves for over a decade.

The former overall number 1 draft pick (as a shortstop believe it or not) has put together a 1st ballot Hall of Fame career. Personally, I feel he's too valuable in the clubhouse to retire, for nothing more than providing the veteran leadership that he's seemingly provided since his rookie season, he's vital to our team and our city, but at some point and some point soon the role that he will play has to be evaluated.


The Braves have an uber prospect in Freddie Freeman who was a consensus top 25 overall prospect in the minor leagues last year and who is on a tear in AAA right now, not to mention the kid is currently 20 years. Wren can also presumably resign the 4 time All Star and former World Series MVP 3rd baseman Troy Glaus for much cheaper than getting a "big name" (no offense Troy) free agent and actually have him play his natural position. Just an interesting fact, like Chipper, Troy was drafted as a SS, look it up, a 6'6 shortstop at UCLA.

As I've said before, I have to give Wren kudos right now, he's made some risky deals and has proven to be smarter than I am, but considering this is my post, it's my opinion. Personally, I think Chipper should stay on throughout his contract, if nothing more than to be a mentor to Heyward, Freeman, Prado, and some of the other younger Braves. He's more valuable here than in retirement. The guy still has baseball in him. When he's healthy, he's still a monster, and when he's not, his clubhouse presence is truly invaluable on a team that is already (supposedly) losing Bobby Cox and the newly acquired, but still amazing Billy Wagner to retirement. Let's face it, the Brave's need Chipper and Chipper loves the Braves. My prediction, Chipper stays, Freeman gets called up this year and Glaus starts playing some 3rd base as Chipper needs the rest. Freeman has less pressure to perform, Chipper plays when healthy, and Glaus is still the man for the Braves. I don't know about you guys, but I do live in a perfect world so this is going to happen! What are your thoughts?