I think Georgia just found their new fullback. Cheerleader Anna Watson needs some band-aids for as much as she is cut up. Good lord. This girl would kick my ass in arm wrestling. Hopefully her Adam's apple isn't as big as her balls.
Chances of A-Rod having Anna on speed dial: 99.9%
Via RedandBlack.com
My dog Bailey can sit, shake, speak, roll over, fetch, eat, cuddle, and fart with the best of them. But what she can't do is give receipts to Chaz Bono. In other words she is smarter than you think. I taught her standards for God's sake.
Via TheBigLead
This was an absolutely insane play by Blake Griffin but does it really count as a dunk? I mean he barely touches the rim. It's more like a Gronkowski spike then a Dominique Wilkins' windmill. But anyways enough of the semantics. Blake Griffin is a freak of nature. That can't be argued. And the Clippers with Chris Paul at the point might be the most exciting team in the NBA. I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of people jumping on the Clippers' bandwagon. Soon you will be seeing celebrities wearing Griffin jerseys instead of Kobe jerseys. Watch. And soon everybody will be wearing "The Blake Show" shirt not only because it's a fad and kids and adults fall for peer pressure but because it's one of the coolest looking shirts on the planet. So what are you waiting for? Buy the damn thing.
If you are a college football junkie like myself I'm sure you have heard of Phil Steele. Steele is the encyclopedia of college football knowledge. He literally knows everything. I claim to know a lot about the sport but frankly I'm sure on my best day I have about 20-30% of the information that Steele has running through his head. Steele just released his projected preseason AP Top 10 teams for 2012. He usually nails 9 out of the top 10 teams so it's a great barometer for where your favorite team might land next year in the polls.
Here is his top 10:
10. West Virginia
9. Arkansas
8. FSU
7. Michigan
6. Georgia
5. Oklahoma
4. Oregon
3. Alabama
2. USC
1. LSU
I had 8 of his top 10 teams in my preseason poll. Where we disagreed were with Georgia and FSU. Having watched both teams extensively last season while they may have top 10 talent it was hard for me see either one as a top 10 team considering how they performed when they faced good competition. Of course things can change from season to season but it seems like every year FSU is extremely overrated (still living off their haydays before the turn of the century) and Georgia is not even close to the elite SEC teams of Alabama and LSU but then again they don't have to play either till the SEC Championship.
Of course both FSU and Georgia could be a couple of elite recruits away from getting back to top 10 status. We will have to wait and see in 2 days.
I'm trying to think of a more impressive alley oop but nothing is popping up. I'll give Lebron James his due. This was a sick dunk.
Via FanIQ
With just two days left before National Signing Day the drama over the nation's #1 recruit Dorial Green-Beckham (think Randy Moss/AJ Green/Michael Floyd) appears to be over. According to Tulsa World's John Hoover the 6'6 receiver with 4.5 speed will be staying in-state and play for the Missouri Tigers.
Dorial Green-Beckham will choose #Mizzou instead of #Arkansas or #Sooners, source says. No. 1 prospect in America. #DGB
Picture perfect free throw mechanics and technique right there. If you wonder why the Bobcats (wait a second, there is a NBA team called the Bobcats?) are so god awful shitty then take a long look at the asshole above shooting a free throw. I'm too lazy and drunk to look up who the shooter is but like most things I really don't care.
I've been hearing all offseason about how awesome Tyler Pastornicky is going to be from the local radio stations and it's gotten to the point where I just tune it out. There is a reason why nobody has heard of him outside of Atlanta. Because he's basically a nobody. But don't worry this April he will be the starting shortstop for the Atlanta Braves. Yeah that should work out well. Instead of Tyler Pastramiface Frank Wren should have been scouting this ball boy down under. Look at that Neo like grab. Kid has skills. Sign him up Wren. He can't be much worse than Heyward....lawsuit...coming...in...3,2.1.
I never realized there were over 2000 cocks in San Diego. What is so god damn funny? Those poor dirty cocks never had a chance. That one woman just chocked the cock like a professional. Impressive form I must add when you got an out of control flailing cock spitting at you.
Video via Hot Clicks
Notre Dame football players Josh Atkinson, George Atkinson III, and Amir Carlisle put together this remake of Chris Brown's "Strip." All that is missing is Rihanna with a couple of New York "strips" covering those black eyes and bruises.
Not too shabby especially from new comer Carlisle who will be wearing Michael Floyd's #3 jersey next season. But none of them compare to Louis "Irish Chocolate" Nix. Straight superstar right here taking a "Grenade"...
With Baseball season right around the corner I figured I would do a 60% off sale on all of our current shirts in stock. I have limited quantities left so be sure to get your order in fast.
Yesterday the reports were free agent slugger Prince Fielder was down to a final four of Nationals, Orioles, Rangers and Dodgers for his services. Well you can throw those reports in the shitter because Detroit came in and swooped up Fielder today with an insane 9-year, $214 million dollar contract according to Yahoo Sports.
The Tigers were late-comers to Fielder’s free agency, but closed strong, outbidding the likes of the Washington Nationals and Texas Rangers. The sides were working on the final details of the contract Tuesday, and the deal is pending a physical.
Thank God somebody finally said it. Skip Bayless is a royal douchebag. Thank you Terrell Suggs.
The fat guy in the Ed Reed jersey is the best one. It's not too often you can catch a reaction of that magnitude on camera. Just a complete breakdown. It's basically how an Orioles fan like myself reacts on Opening Day every year for the past 14.
Notre Dame gained a 5 star recruit this week when Gunner Kiel enrolled but now it appears they may have lost a 5 star player to FSU. Ronald Darby, an electric cornerback with world class speed, appears to be headed to FSU after de committing from Notre Dame according to Ricardo Louis, a recent WR flip to FSU from Auburn.
"He was committed to Notre Dame and then he decomitted because he wanted to open up his options, which is what I what I want to do," Louis said. "We were talking about how much we like Florida State and he was telling me if I go there that he would go there too. Just talked about how much we liked it basically."
Only 29 years old the world lost a great freestyle skier today with the announcement that Sarah Burke had passed away today just 9 days after suffering a brain injury while training at Park City Mountain Resort. Burke suffered a torn vertebral artery in her neck from a fall within the superpipe. She will be greatly missed by family, friends, and fans worldwide. RIP Sarah Burke.
Clearly it pays well to be a wife of a sports superstar these days. Vanessa Bryant, the now ex-wife of Lakers superstar Kobe, reportedly will get $75 million in a divorce settlement which also includes the couple's three mansions in Newport Beach, CA according to TMZ.
Vanessa is walking away with $75 million, which we're told represents close to half of their total assets, estimated at around $150 million.
TMZ previously reported several transfers of property earlier this year between Kobe and Vanessa. It turns out, based on the property settlement, Vanessa scored a clean sweep, snagging ALL THREE of the former couple's mansions in the Newport Beach area.
Vanessa gets the estate the couple was living in, the estate her mom is living in, and she gets the new estate that had been under construction for 2 years and was just completed. We were told Kobe was moving into the new estate, but that's not true. It's Vanessa's crib, lock stock and barrel.
Sorry Adam Schefter and Mort! you've been fucking scooped by an actor who became famous for a sex tape. Ladies and gents Mr. Rob Lowe is reporting (or tweeting) that Peyton Manning has retired.
#Colts fans, let's hope my info is wrong. Don't like being wrong, but this time... I'm hoping #NFL #Manning
2 hours ago
RobLowe Rob Lowe
@richeisen My people are saying Manning will retire today. What do you hear? #NFL
2 hours ago
»
RobLowe Rob Lowe
Hearing my fave, #18 Peyton Manning will not return to #NFL. Wow. #Colts
Seriously all the cool kids are doing this now. If you aren't Gronking than you aren't shit!
Video via HotClicks
A little late to the internet party here but Barstool Sports posted this video of some passed out LSU fan getting "teabagged" by an Alabama fan in the French Quarter's Krystal right after the BCS Championship and for some reason the people around him found it extremely funny. I don't get it. Personally I've never felt the need to pull my balls out and put it on some dude's face. But hey that's just me. How is the Alabama fan not in jail is my question? If this shit happened to a female you know damn well Bama coconuts would be behind bars right now. This whole video is just strange and uncomfortable. It's like watching a Woody Allen film. First off why do people eat at Krystals? You just won the National Championship and decide to go party at Krystal? I guess I just don't understand kids these days. Hookers and blow have been replaced by Teabagging strangers and Krystal burgers.
HT to Dave for the Golden Globes clip. Beckinsale is right up there with Salma Hayek, Christie Brinkley, Halle Berry and of course my wife. They all seem to get better looking with age. It's like enjoying a fine wine. I don't drink wine.
The Colts just fired head coach Jim Caldwell but according to ESPN he will return. You can always rely on ESPN with breaking OPPOSITE news.
Via Paulie Pabst
On November 10th I posted about #1 prep QB Gunner Kiel enrolling at Notre Dame come January. At the time I completely trusted my "source" and ran with the story because he had never let me down before and had no reason to BS me. Well not until this morning did it appear it would actually come to fruition as Kiel was committed to LSU and ready to attend classes in Baton Rouge starting today. Throw in some "never say die" relentless recruiting from Brian Kelly and his staff and now it is official: Gunner is Irish.
Here is the official press release from Notre Dame...
NOTRE DAME, Ind. - The University of Notre Dame football team added four players to its roster Tuesday, head coach Brian Kelly announced.
The Irish added one transfer student and three early-enrollee freshmen to the football squad.
Running back Amir Carlisle (Santa Clara, Calif./Kings Academy/USC) transferred to Notre Dame after attending the first semester of his freshman year at the University of Southern California.
Defensive lineman Sheldon Day (Indianapolis, Ind./Warren Central), quarterback Gunner Kiel (Columbus, Ind./Columbus East) and defensive back Tee Shepard (Fresno, Calif./Washington Union) graduated from their respective high schools last December.
The four players signed their scholarship forms and were enrolled at the University Tuesday, the first day of the 2012 spring semester at Notre Dame.
Carlisle played in eight games for the Trojans in 2011. He totaled 19 rushes for 118 yards (6.2 yards per carry) and posted seven receptions for 41 yards with one touchdown. His best game for USC came at Colorado when Carlisle led the Trojans with 90 yards on 10 carries and caught two passes for 31 yards, including a 19-yard TD reception.
As a senior at Kings Academy, Carlisle was named a 2010 high school All-American by Parade and SuperPrep after gaining 2,110 rushing yards (averaged 10.0 yards per carry) and 28 TDs. He also caught 12 passes for 231 yards (19.3 average) with three TDs. In his high school career, Carlisle rushed for 5,108 yards (11.0 yards per carry) with 73 rushing TDs and posted 26 career 100-yard rushing games in 28 high school games.
"I'm really excited to be here at Notre Dame. I had great respect for the school and football program when I went through the recruiting process a year ago and I'm proud to be enrolled here. I know this will be a great fit for me and I can't wait to get started."
Day was a second-team selection on the SI.com High School All-America team. The Indianapolis Star Super Team Player of the Year for 2011 was also runner-up for 2011 Indiana Mr. Football award chosen by Indiana Football Coaches Association. Day made 55 tackles including 12 for loss, nine sacks, 12 quarterback pressures and recovered two fumbles as a senior. He helped Warren Central to 11-1 record in 2011, with the only loss occurring in the sectional final to eventual Indiana 5A champion Carmel.
"I'm excited to get here and get started on my classwork and to start the conditioning program with Coach (Paul) Longo," Day said. "I really liked meeting the guys during my recruiting process and I'm excited to start workouts with them this winter."
Many internet scouting services rated Kiel the top quarterback recruit in the nation this year. The 2011 Indiana Mr. Football passed for 2,517 yards and 28 TDs as a senior and rushed for 482 yards and 11 TDs. He helped lead Columbus East High School to the Indiana state 4A semifinals as a senior and was named the Gatorade Indiana Player of the Year. Kiel passed for 7,175 yards in his high school career.
"This recruitment process was a roller-coaster ride at times, but I know I have made the right decision for my family and me," Kiel said. "There were three critical elements I was looking for in my future school: the quality of education I would receive, the distance from home and the comfort level I would have with the players and coaches in the football program. Notre Dame was the perfect fit for me because it hit all three areas.
"Coach Kelly was great throughout my recruitment, as many times our conversations had nothing do with football. That really showed me he had my best intentions in mind. He was persistent yet also patient while recruiting me and I look forward to playing for him the next four years. I couldn't be happier to be a member of the Fighting Irish football team. I'm excited about the future of the program."
Shepard was rated the third-best cornerback in his class by Scout.com and the number-36 player nationally by MaxPreps and Tom Lemming. Shepard was forced to sit out his senior season after transferring from Central East High School in Fresno. He made 10 interceptions in his high school career and played in the Semper Fidelis All-American Bowl in Phoenix.
"I'm really happy to part of the Notre Dame football family," Shepard said. "This is a special place and I'm excited to finally be here. Getting a jump start on my training and in my classes can only help me for the future."
Ole Miss has Steadman Short, LaDarius White, and Demarco Cox. You don't see too many of those on a basketball court besides Duke.
Picture via Deadspin
I've been listening to Alabama's Courtney Upshaw's acceptance speech for the defensive MVP honors at the BCS Championship about 20 times and I still can not decipher what the fuck he is saying. Is it some kind of strange Alabaman dialect that I've never heard? I think he says "take that thing fool" but I can't be sure. Either way I'm thinking the over/under for number of classes actually attended by Upshaw while in college is around 10. That might be generous. Saban has that "oh shit, take the mic away" look on his face when he realizes Upshaw is talking.
It's only been a couple of days since Bama blasted LSU and ended a somewhat boring 2011 college football season that was embroiled in more controversies than good stories. But it's time to turn the page and look at what 2012 brings. So here is the annual college football's way too early 2012 top 25.
1) Alabama-Yes they are losing Trent Richardson, Dont'a Hightower and Dre Kirkpatrick all early to the NFL draft but they still got 5 star players littered all over their roster ready to shine. QB AJ McCarron will be a Heisman favorite. The schedule is tough but manageable.
2) LSU-The Tigers were a good QB away from having one of the best teams ever in college football. If QB Zach Mettenberger steps up it will be hard to see LSU losing to anybody else not named Bama.
3)Oregon-The Ducks return QB Darron Thomas and the Black Mamba De'Anthony Thomas in what should be another high scoring Chip Kelly offense in Eugene. They will more than likely have to beat USC twice which probably won't happen in order to get to the BCS Championship.
4) USC-Talent wise it would be hard to find a better team in the country than the Trojans especially on the offensive side of the ball with QB Matt Barkley and WR's Robert Woods and Marquise Lee back. The problem with USC is their depth especially on the all-important lines. Any injuries up front could crush their PAC-12 hopes.
5) West Virginia-It's hard to ignore how impressive Geno Smith and the offense looked in the Orange Bowl vs Clemson. They beat the living shit out of the Tigers and pretty much everybody is coming back. The big question is who will they play next season? Right now they are in limbo waiting on a decision in court whether they can start playing in the Big 12 next year after leaving the Big East.
6) Oklahoma-The Sooners were a disappointment last year but I expect them to bounce back in a big way with QB Landry Jones coming back. The Sooners will put up a ton of points and with Texas and Okie State both questionable they should again be favored to win the Big 12. Bob Stoop's brother Mike should help the defense.
7) Michigan-The Wolverines made a deal with the devil and somehow won 11 games last year. With Shoelace back their "luck" should continue into 2012. The schedule is rough with Bama in Arlington and road games vs Notre Dame, Nebraska, and Ohio State but you can expect Shoelace to throw some duckfarts up and more than likely his prayers will be caught.
8) Arkansas-The Razorbacks get Alabama and LSU at home next year. Probably won't matter since right now they aren't in their discussion of elite teams. Knile Davis coming back from knee surgery should be huge. Who knows maybe they can upset Bama or LSU but right now I'm not betting on it.
9) TCU-The Horned Frogs are jumping up to big boy territory with their arrival to the Big 12 next year. Last season was considered a "down" year despite going 11-2 and beating Boise State and winning their last 8. Expectations are high and with nearly everybody back I think TCU has a legit shot at winning the conference.
10) Wisconsin-Montee Ball had nearly 2000 yards rushing and scored 39 TDs in 2011 but more importantly will be back. They got a lot of pieces to replace including QB Russell Wilson but you know head coach Bret Bielema will find somebody in the spring from the minor leagues.
11) Michigan State-Sparty has won 11 games each of the past two years and should have won the Big Ten title last year. I was never impressed by Kirk Cousins so losing him I don't think is that big of a deal. What is a big deal is their rough schedule. They got tough home games vs Boise State and Notre Dame in early September. If they can manage to win those two out of conference games then 2012 could be a magical season for Sparty.
12) South Carolina-Marcus Lattimore is the best RB in the country and with him coming back from a serious knee injury it should be a major boost for the Gamecocks. People tend to forget they won 11 games last year including a road win at UGA despite the QB turmoil with Stephen Garcia and losing Lattimore to the injury. The Ole Ball Coach will have them ready to compete for the SEC East. Clowney is going to be a menace for QBs all year.
13) Georgia-I know Georgia fans are going to kill me with this statement but so be it: UGA is an elite head coach away from being an elite program. Don't get me wrong Mark Richt has done a wonderful job in Athens but the Bulldawgs have been serious disappointments for the past 4 seasons in my opinion. Pretty much everybody is back of importance and I think freshman RB Keith Marshall will have an instant impact for UGA. The schedule again is very weak so don't be surprised to see UGA in the SEC Championship again.
14) Kansas State-Collin Klein had a breakout 2011 season and with tailback John Hubert and Chris Harper back they should put up a ton of points. Arthur Brown might be one of the best linebackers in the country and you know head coach Bill Snyder will have the Wildcats ready to compete for a tough Big 12 title next season.
15) Ohio State-It's time for Urban Meyer to work his magic in Columbus. They won't be eligible for the Big Ten title or a bowl game next season but it should be a good "exhibition" season for Meyer to install his spread offense with Braxton Miller at QB. Urban will have the Buckeyes competing for a BCS Bowl game in 2013.
16) Stanford-Obviously losing Andrew Luck is huge. You can't replace a Luck on your roster. But Stanford does have a stout defense coming back and the offense returns RB Stepfan Taylor who should have a big season. The only two losses I see on their schedule are USC and Oregon.
17) Nebraska-It's time for Nebraska to take the next step up under head coach Bo Pelini. Unfortunately they have a turnover machine in Taylor Martinez at the QB position. The Blackshirts defense returns 8 starters so maybe they will be the difference between another 9 win season and a double digit win season.
18) Virginia Tech-The Hokies defense should be sick next year. Logan Thomas is back at the QB position and with a relatively weak nonconference schedule it wouldn't shock me to see VATech competing for a BCS Championship game appearance in December.
19) Clemson-Tajh Boyd and Sammy Watkins should be fun to watch. The defense though was atrocious in the Orange Bowl. If Dabo can get himself a decent D then Clemson could be a top 10 team. Unfortunately they aren't even close to that right now.
20) Auburn-Auburn got a great D coordinator in Brian VanGorder and he could be the difference between last year's 8-5 record and a 10-12 win season in 2012. They still need to decide who the QB will be but talent wise Auburn can play with anybody in the SEC. Next year will be a good barometer of how good of a head coach Gene Chizik really is.
21) Boise State-Chris Petersen knows what he is doing. Again I repeat Petersen knows what he is doing. A lot of pundits think the Broncos will fall off the face of the earth now that Kellen Moore is gone. It won't happen. Petersen got plenty of playing time for his underclassmen last year in the second half of ballgames in which Boise destroyed teams. They won't compete for a title but they will still be a top 25 team easily.
22) FSU-It seems every year the Seminoles are overrated but I think 22 is a good spot for them. They have a good defense with most of their starters back but the question is can their offense get back to being halfway decent? EJ Manuel will get another chance to prove his 5 star ranking out of high school wasn't a misnomer.
23) Oklahoma State-No doubt it's going to be tough replacing Brandon Weeden and Justin Blackmon and 3 offensive line starters for an offense that put up record numbers in 2011. The Fiesta Bowl champions need to develop a good defense in order to compete every year for a top 10 finish.
24) Texas-I'm not overly impressed by their offense but their defense was the best last year in the Big 12. They have a shitload of talent at the tailback position so if they can just pick a QB out and go with him they could be a top 10 team. Problem is Mack Brown is too complacent with his roster and needs to get the Longhorns hungry again.
25) Arkansas State-I just felt like putting a wildcard team in here. With Gus Malzahn as their head coach and Michael Dyer at tailback the Red Wolves could go undefeated. Seriously.
Just missed-Rutgers, Notre Dame, Georgia Tech, Penn State, Southern Miss
The most impressive thing about this Jimmy Fallon skit is not the singing or the outfit or even the Tebowing at the end. It's the fact that Fallon didn't laugh once. I can not remember the last time Fallon didn't break out in laughter during one of his skits. Bravo young Jimmy...you finally broke through.
If you haven't already bought one of our Jesus shirts then what are you waiting for?
Video via Hot Clicks
Losing 24-2 to the lowly Ginas was frustrating as hell. The Falcons can't win playoff games with Matt Ryan behind center. Plain and simple. Complete and utter "Mularkey!" But this Atlanta Falcons fan cracked me up. He basically said everything I had on my mind minus the N word when the Falcons were getting curb stomped by a fucking New York team. Being an Atlanta fan sucks. It just does. There is never a reward at the end. Never. If we are lucky enough to make the playoffs then you are damn well sure it's going to be one and out.
Now that football season is over at least I can go to some Thrashers games. I can't wait to rock it down in Philips. Who wants to join me?
Video via Will the Thrill
I would like to add:
1) Frank Martin seems like a nice guy.
2) Urban Meyer cares more about his family than his coaching career.
3) Peter Angelos is going all-in this season to produce a winner.
4) The Cubs are winning the World Series...again.
5) I love having whiskey shits the next day.
Please feel free to add your own below in the comments.
I wouldn't want to run into this guy while jogging alone. Dear God it's like looking into the Devil's soul. It's probably an act but I can only imagine how his wife hides behind the kids when ole Frank comes home after a tough loss.
Yeah I know. It's been way too long since we posted anything with Kate Upton in it. I apologize. In this country I should be considered a terrorist for not allowing the world to see more Upton. I offer my peace. Piece of ass that is.
Well that was a shitty ending to a pretty good college football season. Oh well. Bama wins their 480th National Title (remember Bama fans can't count) and Nick Saban gets his 3rd. Les Miles for some reason decided not to show up tonight. Too much Bourbon.
SSSSEEEEEECCCCCEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
With this 80 yard touchdown strike to Demaryius Thomas in OT Tim Tebow continues to prove a lot of people including myself wrong who said he would never succeed in the NFL. Right now Tebow and AJ Yates have more playoff wins (1) than Matt Ryan. I'm never going to doubt The Mile High Messiah again. I'm going to sit back and watch as he continues to will his teams to victories in the biggest moments. Yes sir, this asshole is on the Tebow bandwagon. Jesus threw for 316 yards by the way.
I'm sick of Justin Tuck and the New York Giants talking trash about how dirty the Atlanta Falcons play...It's called football pansy. To combat this I'm making all the GINAS shirts $7 this week. Order it today and you will get it before gameday. It's a great shirt that will be the hit of the party, tailgate, bar, whatever. Go Falcons! Piledrive the GINAS!
VIA EDSBS comes this wonderful .gif of what exactly went wrong with both Georgia and Stanford. Never, ever assume a kicker will kick an oblong pigskin in between two poles when multiple things can go wrong. Both Mark Richt and David Shaw cost their schools wins yesterday. Some will blame the kickers for good reason. Shit they should have kicked it through the god damn uprights. But to win the game you should put the ball into your best players hands and Andrew Luck in his last collegiate game was near flawless with only 4 incompletions in 31 pass attempts and yet Shaw went conservative and poor freshman kicker Jordan Williamson screwed the pooch twice. Georgia with Richt leading the way blew a 16-0 lead to a Big Ten team OMG OMG OMG THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US!!!! Old Sparty finally pulled out a win in a game they always find a way to lose in.
Let your best players determine your faith and never assume a kicker will be good in a pressure situation is my motto.
