While I agree with Kenny Powers that baseball is better than most if not all of sports I gotta go devil's advocate here. Playing video game baseball sucks. Granted I haven't played video games in a long time because unfortunately I had to grow up and become a part-time alcoholic while being a full-time Dad but back in the day Madden, NBA Jam, Tiger Woods golf, even Fifa soccer blew the fucking doors off any baseball game. Maybe things I have changed and MLB 14 The Show is the greatest sports video game of all-time but I seriously doubt it. Too much thinking involved in baseball.
You honestly can't blame Yankees fans here. Star second baseman Robinson Cano left the friendly confines of Yankees Stadium for more money on the west coast. $240 million to be exact over 10 years. I mean what an asshole that Cano is. It's not like the Yankees whole roster with the exception of Jeter is made up of players who did the same exact thing to their former teams by taking pinstripe dollars. Nope. Poor Yankees fans. I feel for you guys. I hope to never feel that hurt.
Fuckers.
How the fuck was this not called? I counted at least 7 steps. Last time I checked you have to dribble the ball to go that far with it. This Jeremy Lin non travel call just proves me point. The NBA is hot garbage. I would rather watch Golden Girls reruns than this shit they call the NBA playoffs.
/ Team NHL Playoffs Guy
Talk about delivering the perfect birthday present for Mom. Minnesota Twins' Chris Colabello does not disappoint. The only problem is now Mom is going to be expecting bigger and better things every year. Like you can't get anything better than a homer from your son right as the sideline reporter in interviewing you. It's just not possible. So next year when he delivers flowers and a kiss or whatever the fuck you give to your Mom on her birthday the look of disappointment in her eyes could be soul crushing. Colabello might as well just cut his losses and become an Alaskan Ice Trucker.
Ever since Bryce Harper graced the cover of Sports Illustrated at the age of 16 as the next sure fire superstar in making Mike Trout has taken it as his personal goal to steal all the thunder away from the Clown Question bro. Not only has Trout been the best all-around player in the game without question (don't even fucking argue with me on this because you will make yourself look like a simpleton) his first two seasons and really it's fucking highway robbery he doesn't have two MVP awards to show for it but that is a discussion for another day. The reason why Trout doesn't get the accolades or notoriety of a Harper is only because Bryce plays on a better team on the east coast. That's it. Trout is better at all facets of the game. Speed, power, fielding, running, hitting, diving, smiling, spitting, farting you name it Trout does it better. This doesn't make Harper a shitty player by any means. That's not what the point of this post is. I'm just saying Trout is like Superman and Harper is like Captain America. Both are extraordinary but I will take the guy who can fly into fucking outer space over a guy with a shield any day.
It's like watching black people react to a David Blaine magic trick. The reaction is always funnier when they are running around in circles screaming and shouting "oh no you didn't!" Every. Single. Time.
I know what you are thinking...I went to the wrong damn school. And you are right unless you went to Tuscon as an undergrad and enjoyed the epic pool parties. Tuscon so hot right now. Tuscon. Bear Down bitches!
Video via BroBible
Thank you Jimmy Fallon interns. Without all of you this great Brian Williams mash up would not be possible. Now keep working for FREE because some day you could be making as much as $30k coming out of college.
Holy Panama City flashback time! I feel like I just took some really high grade acid and just want the trip to stop. Make it stop! Bryce Harper is some kind of liquid trail demon mashing balls that turn into his face to the sweet rift of Welcome to the Jungle. I don't give a shit if you hate Harper this commercial is legit. No more clown questions bro!
Chills running up and down my spine. Jameis Winston won a Heisman Trophy and National Championship last season while avoiding those pesky rape charges at FSU because he knows how to articulate his passion for the game of football. Famous Jameis aka Jaboo is from the sticks of Alabama but you would never know it by listening to him. Jim Nantz better watch out for his Masters gig. After Jameis manages to score the first ever negative Wonderlic he's going to use that mouth of his to secure broadcasting jobs after his motivational speech days are over. I'm not even going to lie I had tears forming listening to Jaboo talk.
P.S- What the fuck did he say?
Recruiting 101: Learn the stanky leg, do the stanky leg, make the video go viral. Boom recruits sign on the dotted line.
Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury is a renegade innovator. A man's man. One stanky leg at a time.
Thanks Coach K. Not only do you teach your overrated players how to pull a patented Shane Battier flop anytime someone penetrates the lane but now we got fucking kids taking dives like they play on the Italian National soccer team. To be completely honest if I was a ref and saw this little punk pull this shit I would not only kick the kid out of the game but also the parents for raising an asshole. Hey but that's just me.
Typical SEC scum move. I love Charles Barkley and his honesty. Just tells it like it is. Yeah I offered German wunderkid Dirk Nowitzki a bunch of money to go to Auburn years ago...whatcha going to do about it? Shit I don't even blame Barkley. Have you seen Auburn play basketball? They haven't been close to competitive since the mid-to-late 90's.
I don't give a shit how many Barry Bonds hit. Hank Aaron is still the all-time home run champion.
Yeah Jeeeeets!
Oh shit. He's old. And slow. And has the flexibility of a guy who just went through a colonoscopy. Other than that Derek Jeter looks great.
Go Get Em Kid!
I've always said you can really get to know your fellow teammates during a rain delay. Last week Notre Dame and FSU had an extended one in Tallahassee and squared off in hijinks to one up one another. Gotta love the old Catholics vs Criminoles battles. The only thing it was missing was Jameis sacrificing a young lady in distress.
I don't think I will ever understand the mentality behind rioting after your school or team wins a championship. Breaking shit to celebrate seems counterproductive but hey that's just me. Can we get confirmation that Storrs, Connecticut is still a city and not a raging fireball of chaos?
PS - Is the guy shooting this VINE the owner of the car? Why else would you be like NO NO NO then YES YES YES? Rioters gonna riot. The voice sounds identical to a South Park character.
"The Hungry Huskies...this is what happens when you ban us!"
Truer words have never been spoken. Final Four Most Outstanding Player Shabazz Napier is not only a two-time champion for the UCONN Huskies but is now a mouthpiece for the plighted and malnourished student-athlete that the NCAA preys upon. Poor guy goes to "bed starving" while the rest of college students eat $50 filet mignons and their fancy sides that they find in between their microbrew soaked suede couches. I feel bad for guys like Napier. Not only does he get his tuition paid for but he also has to put up with all of his free room and board and books and free tutoring and free five course meals and women and free travel and clothes and future NBA millions while "starving." It's a hard knock life for Napier and he shows he is true warrior in every fashion.
In conclusion fuck guys like Shabazz Napier. Not because he is bitching about "starving" but because he completely ruined my bracket. I had UCONN losing in the first round. Napier put them on his back and said F that guy and his stupid office bracket. I gotta eat!
Congrats to UCONN for winning the title. It was much deserved. I enjoyed all 45 minutes of the tournament I actually watched. Now we can focus on more important things like baseball and hockey before football finally comes back.
Damn now I feel old. Real old. Major League was my go-to movie for 3 summers. Back in the days of Blockbuster and Turtles you had to get these things called VHS tapes kids. Major League was the best. It was right up there with Revenge of the Nerds. I can recite every line. Back then we didn't even have internet, DVRs, or cell phones or any of that shit you take for granted these days so when you got a movie as gold as Major League you held on to it and watched it endlessly because what the fuck else were going to do?
Kudos to David Ross doing a spot on Lou Brown. The Pedro Cerrano impression though was minor league at best and how do you not have an impression of Eddie Harris "Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?" It's the best line of the movie...
The keychains out of the Eisenhower Tree is marketing genius. Will Ferrell just gets it. He understands the Masters unlike any of us. Corndogs, fast food, and Ryan Seacrest would make the Masters a perfect golf tournament. Hopefully Billy Payne is listening.
Sorry but it's in my DNA to never ever like a Duke player. Was this dunk impressive? Yes. Do white guys with hops like Brent Barry make my marbles tingle? Of course. But Grayson Allen will play his college hoops in Durham for Coach K and for that reason alone I already can't stand the kid. My Maryland blood boils with the thought of Grayson learning the patented Duke flop.
PS - I was kinda hoping he did the Don Baylor stanky leg when he landed. I never wish injury on any player besides Duke Basketball guy, Michigan and USC football guy, Yankees guy, and Saints guy.
Mike Trout's face says it all. Holy shit! I was watching this live last night and tweeted about it. I've never seen an injury like this. Angels' hitting coach Don Baylor broke his fucking femur catching a 1st pitch from another baseball great in Vlad Guerrero. His leg literally snaps like a twig and forms a pretzel. At first I thought Baylor was doing his Stanky Leg Dance or maybe he had dead leg like I get when I take a really long shit. Nope. Broken femur. The biggest damn bone in the leg. Get well Baylor. We salute you here at SportsCRACK!
PS - Baylor is a boss. You tell me another person who would just try to walk off a broken femur. That is Superman shit strength.
