I didn't laugh one time. And who is the douchebag fan and why does he keep getting roles in Hollywood? His humor escapes me. He just yells. Pow! Pow! Cataline Wine Mixer! Pow! In the face! Pow! He is a new version of Dane Cook without the potholes.
Not really but I'm sure they won't be able to live this down after Mike and Mike's host Mike Greenberg let a little slip of the tongue on live air yesterday...
Now I demand all the people who are too lazy to get real jobs to go picket in front of ESPN Headquarters in Bristol, CT immediately. Now, now, now!!!! ESPN has a dream of taking away your freedom to not work and get paid for it and everyone deserves an apology from them. Oh wait, Greenberg issued an apology. Here it is:
I just came home from the Knicks game and found out about the mess that was created by my garbling a sentence on our show this morning; I apologize for not addressing it sooner.
And I'm sorry that my talking too fast - and slurring my words - might have given people who don't know our show the wrong impression about us, and about me.
I feel horrible about that, because nothing could be further away from who I am and what our show is about.
I would never say anything like that, not in public, or in private, or in the silence of my own mind, and neither would anyone associated with our show, and I'm very sorry that my stumble this morning gave so many people the opposite impression.
Go to our STORE PAGE right now to take advantage of a huge sale. We have a limited supply of shirts left that we have marked down all the way to $5 per shirt. It's first come, first serve so get your order in immediately to take advantage of this great deal.
STORE PAGE $5 SPECIAL
I was bored last night and was up late watching Taboo on the NatGeo Channel and they were talking about drugs and prostitution being two of the most socially untolerated topics in our world. I'm sorry but they ain't got nothing on Monique's legs. Those things howl at the night waiting to eat their young. The guy with her has to be fucked up in the head. It's one thing to be a chubby chaser but the Wolverine legs are just completely frowned upon...
I'm going to go brush my teeth now and bathe in some vinegar while I cry myself to passing out for posting these pictures.
WWTDD
Since it is Martin Luther King Day I figured it was sort of appropriate to show you how a certain coach who wears Gator's colors can present "I have a dream" pitch to stud defensive tackles. From GamecockCentral.com Blog comes this interesting story of Florida head coach Urban Meyer pulling the old religion/God card on Philly DT Shariff Floyd right before Floyd was set to pick Ohio State and instead went with the Gators:
“Sharrif was really confused and put a call into Coach Meyer. When they spoke Coach Meyer told him that he had a ‘dream’ the night before, and that Coach Meyer saw himself on the sideline coaching Sharrif. Told him that is was a "message from God that I should come back and coach, as I guess if it’s my time to die, I'd rather die on the sidelines coaching you than anywhere else in the world.
"Sharrif talked to us the next day and said Ohio State is great and all, but Coach Meyer said he would DIE for me. That's pretty intense. From that day on Sharrif mainly kept to himself. But that was the turning point in my eyes."
I will be the first to admit I don't even watch these late night tv shows regularly. With that being said I do know who is funny and who is not. Jimmy Kimmel and Conan O'brien are smart, witty, and funny. Jay Leno is the exact opposite. Jimmy Fallon is a hyperactive kid that everybody feels sorry for and I guess for some reason they decided to employ him. Fallon seems like a nice kid. Leno seems like a dick.
The point being is dick's usually win out in the end over the nice guy. Conan is leaving and Leno is replacing him. Leno pulled a Kiffin. Great to see Kimmel put Leno in his place. The shitter. Period.
We got another new design inspired by an old face back in a familiar place. Continuing the Tradition of winning at all costs comes our brand new "CHEAT ON! IN LANE WE TRU$T" shirt. This vintage feel and look soft cotton tee shirt is sure to be the hit at any tailgate party or hanging out with your friends. It's definitely a conversation starter as anyone can attest to who has worn our shirts in the past.
Only $17, order your Cheat On! t-shirt today. Shipping will start next week.
Texas defensive coordinator Will Muschamp and Air Force head coach Troy Calhoun both turned down lucrative offers from Tennessee AD Michael Hamilton to become the Vol's new head coach according to multiple reports. Muschamp apparently is content with being the coach-in-waiting at Texas and Calhoun loves the weather in Colorado. Moving along in their search the next guy who appears to be on the radar is current Duke head coach David Cutcliffe.
Cutcliffe was the offensive coordinator for Tennessee twice under the Phil Fulmer regime and had success at Ole Miss as a head coach leading them to a Cotton Bowl victory with Eli Manning under center. Cutcliffe's claim to fame is coaching both Eli and Peyton while in college. To say Tennessee would be ecstatic with this hire would be on par with me sitting through a marathon of American Idol episodes without throwing my beer at the television and cursing at God for ever creating a show so awful. Vol's Nation want a sexy hire and Cutcliffe just isn't it.
The best candidate I can think of off the top of my head is Temple's Al Golden. Golden can recruit and with the best of them which he showed at Virginia when he was a defensive coordinator and led Temple to a 9 win season this year and their first bowl game in 30 years. The guy can flat out coach but he is supposedly the hot name to replace JoePa at his alma mater Penn State when he either stops coaching or croaks.
So Tennessee fans should prepare themselves for Cutcliffe. Trust me it could be worse. Just prepare yourselves for 8 to 9 win seasons max in the near future.
The freshman sensation has taken over college hoops. Now you can get The Great Wall Balls to the Wall shirt at SPORTSCRACK.COM.
JOHN
WALL
THE GREAT WALL
11
KENTUCKY BASKETBALL
"I did not have contact with those recruits!"
Whatever makes you sleep better at night buddy. Have you ever seen an introductory press conference more heated and questioned? This is going to be a marriage of hell for USC and Lane Kiffin. Fantastic.
This black lab is having the time of his life chasing melons down in Brazil with model Nicole Bahls(WWTDD.com). Lucky fucking dog. Not only can it lick it's own balls and shit where ever he damn well pleases but he gets the opportunity to play "catch" with Nicole. I just showed my dog Soco these pictures. He farted a balloon full of jealousy and disgust.
Could you imagine living the life that Matt Kemp has presented in front of him? I'm not gay as far as I know but the guy is a good looking dude who is young, rich, plays centerfield for the Los Angeles Dodgers and is literally smack dab in the middle of a valley full of excellent Hollywood tail. Of course he is banging Rihanna. Why wouldn't he? If I were him I would be out nailing every single female till my dick fell off. Fortunately for myself I'm not nearly as pretty or rich as Matt Kemp. Fuck.
Go ahead and grab all the Pop star ass you want Matt...
Now available for purchase is the "FU LAME KIFFIN" shirt from Sportscrack.com. Tell Monte's little son how you feel about him leaving Knoxville for the West Coast Cheaters. This shirt idea was sent in by numerous people who bleed orange and white.
FU LAME KIFFIN SHIRT $17
Burning mattresses...
And running through the streets of Knoxville with pitch forks and torches demanding the head of Lane Kiffin...
This just goes to prove they take their college football serious down in the South. Since when did Tennessee become a stepping stone for USC? God I can't wait to see Lane Kiffin fail miserably at USC. Tennessee fans should feel grateful today that the wolf has taken off his sheepskin and left. He would have done it either next year or the year after no doubt. The guy has 12 career victories to his name (5 with the Oakland Raiders, 7 with the Vols) and some people act like this guy is the second coming of Pete Carroll. Come on people. Wake the fuck up.
Ah gotcha! Instead of leaving with a sliver of dignity and class Lane Kiffin and his staff told his Tennessee players good-bye while in the process tried to convince the Tennessee recruits, including the early enrollment players, to come with him to USC. Talk about having some fucking balls. Kiffin and his staff might be the most shady recruiters of all-time. I'm sure he promised them houses for them and their parents with free rent, cars, money, and the assurance that classes would be limited to Ballroom Dancing and Spring Practice 101.
Take a look at this video of an interview with John Brice of Volquest.com to get a feeling of what was going down last night...
Urban Meyer received a text tonight while in attendance of the Kentucky-Florida basketball game. I think he likes the Lane Kiffin news...
Tennessee fans are taking the whole "Lane Kiffin leaving us to go to Los Angeles" news really good. Check out this classic video of a Volunteers die hard going Southern on his ass...
I will have more on this shitstorm tomorrow. I can't stop laughing. USC and Tennessee both royally fucked in the same day. 2010 just keeps on getting better. CHEAT ON!!!
So far Southern Cal athletic director Mike Garrett is doing an excellent job in nailing down candidates to replace Pete the Cheat Carroll for the head coaching job. Here are his candidates and how they have responded according to confidential sources of SportsCrack:
CANDIDATE #1: MIKE RILEY
FUCK OFF!!!
CANDIDATE #2: JACK DEL RIO
NO ENTIENDO!!!
CANDIDATE #3: LANE KIFFIN
THE PAC-10 IS FOR PUSSIES, NO THANKS KIND SIR!!!
CANDIDATE #4: STEVE SARKISIAN
HAHAHAHAHAHA, DUDE, WE FUCKING BEAT YOU! NO WAY AM I LEAVING UDUB FOR YOUR SINKING SHIP!!!!
CANDIDATE #5: TY WILLINGHAM
HOW FAR AWAY IS PEBBLE BEACH? KIDDING, SIGN ME UP!
Steroid abuser Mark McGwire finally admitted today to the AP he used steroids for several years while playing professional baseball. In other related news the sky is blue and snow is white. Here is his official statement:
"Now that I have become the hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals, I have the chance to do something that I wish I was able to do five years ago.
I never knew when, but I always knew this day would come. It's time for me to talk about the past and to confirm what people have suspected. I used steroids during my playing career and I apologize. I remember trying steroids very briefly in the 1989/1990 off season and then after I was injured in 1993, I used steroids again. I used them on occasion throughout the '90s, including during the 1998 season.
I wish I had never touched steroids. It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroid era.
During the mid-'90s, I went on the DL seven times and missed 228 games over five years. I experienced a lot of injuries, including a ribcage strain, a torn left heel muscle, a stress fracture of the left heel, and a torn right heel muscle. It was definitely a miserable bunch of years and I told myself that steroids could help me recover faster. I thought they would help me heal and prevent injuries, too.
I'm sure people will wonder if I could have hit all those home runs had I never taken steroids. I had good years when I didn't take any and I had bad years when I didn't take any. I had good years when I took steroids and I had bad years when I took steroids. But no matter what, I shouldn't have done it and for that I'm truly sorry.
Baseball is really different now -- it's been cleaned up. The commissioner and the players' association implemented testing and they cracked down, and I'm glad they did.
I'm grateful to the Cardinals for bringing me back to baseball. I want to say thank you to Cardinals owner Mr. DeWitt, to my GM, John Mozeliak, and to my manager, Tony La Russa. I can't wait to put the uniform on again and to be back on the field in front of the great fans in Saint Louis. I've always appreciated their support and I intend to earn it again, this time as hitting coach. I'm going to pour myself into this job and do everything I can to help the Cardinals hitters become the best players for years to come.
After all this time, I want to come clean. I was not in a position to do that five years ago in my congressional testimony, but now I feel an obligation to discuss this and to answer questions about it. I'll do that, and then I just want to help my team."
This Baltimore Ravens fan lost a bet in which he promised to run through an electric fence for his labrador if the Patriots lost the game. I guess he figured Tom Brady's 23-0 record at home would hold up in Gillette Stadium. Deadspin has the video of the now famous face of a Baltimore Ravens football fanatic gone wild. Take a look.
Hopefully this week he bets to put it on his nutsack if they beat the Colts. They need the mojo.
If you are a fan of any other team beside the USC Trojans you had to be reveling in the fact that before your eyes the once mighty Trojans football infrastructure is crumbling faster than Pete Carroll left town in the middle of the night to go "Winless in Seattle." After an uncharasistic 4 loss season in Southern Cal after 8 years of dominance in the PAC 10 with the program on the verge of NCAA sanctions because of the Reggie Bush and Joe McKnight scandals it appears ole Pete the Cheat (HT: George Lee) is getting his ass back to the NFL as quickly as possible.
If you follow this blog you probably should know I'm not the biggest USC and/or Pete Carroll fan in the world. In fact I loathe them so if you are looking for a fair and balanced view on them you have to come to the wrong place. Hell we invented the FUSC shirt. With that being said it was just a matter of time before USC fucked things up. College football is cyclical in terms of dominance. People tend to forget that USC, before Pete Carroll arrived with his shit eating grin, were a consistent 6-8 wins a season max team for 15 plus seasons. They were in essence the Notre Dame of today. A once proud program who should dominate but made mistake after mistake in terms of head coaching decisions. Pete the Cheat brought back the Fight On (or Cheat On) mentality to the Trojan World and completely wiped up recruiting west of the Mississippi. Simply the law of college football averages is catching up with USC.
Already the five star recruits such as Kyle Prater and Dillon Baxter have decommitted from USC and now appear to be heading elsewhere. Backup QB Aaron Corp transfered to Richmond. Everson Griffin, McKnight, and Damian Williams are all leaving early for the NFL not to mention Taylor Mays is graduating. The once mighty ship of USC is sinking fast. And if you are wondering how USC players and recruits are finding out about ole Pete the Cheat's departure well then you should check your text messages. Yes, Petey didn't have the dignity to tell them face-to-face or even by phone call that he was leaving. He sent them a fucking text message. Cold man.
So now that USC dominance is coming to an end it joins Miami and FSU as programs on the decline while Alabama, Florida, Texas, and Oklahoma remain the upper echelon of college football powers. USC will now be scrambling to get a head coach and it won't be Mike Riley who signed an extension with Oregon State and it won't be Lane Kiffin who is building something special in Knoxville. They could go after alums Jeff Fischer or Jake Del Rio but they would have to leave high paying NFL head coaching jobs to go back to college. Not likely. Jim Harbaugh would be a good fit and I honestly hope he doesn't go because I think he is one of the better college coaches in the game. Notre Dame snagged up Brian Kelly and Steve Sarkisian looks pretty comfortable in Washington at this moment.
I've heard Paul Hackett is available. Just throwing it out there.
USC FOOTBALL 2010:
Congralutions go out to the Alabama Crimson Tide team and their fans on a well deserved National Title. I think it was clear last night that God had money on Alabama covering the spread because he knocked out Texas QB Colt McCoy with a shoulder injury at the start of the game. With McCoy in there I think Texas wins. With the win Alabama wins their 8th consensus National Championship (the other 5 Bama claims are about as significant as my mid afternoon shit, the smell rotten more than anything) and now all the fans from other SEC schools can claim this championship as their own. Which is fucking stupid by the way and proves that most SEC fans are either inbred or George Bush. Just because the Yankees won another championship last year doesn't make me proud the AL East is the "toughest" division in baseball as an Orioles fan. Seriously people. Go drink your Moonshine and realize that Alabama winning a championship only helps them and actually hurts your favorite SEC team.
For the past month I have been hearing from everybody how SEC power Alabama is going to absolutely destroy Texas in Pasadena tonight. And I can see their point. Alabama crushed Florida in their conference championship while Texas survived on a last second field goal to beat Suh/Nebraska. Those two which were played on December 5th 2009 mind you told us that Alabama played their best game of the season while Texas played their absolute worst. I expect a different outcome tonight for these reasons:
-Alabama knows the SEC is 5-0 in BCS Title games and everybody expects them to win if they just show up. Sounds similar to 4 years ago when everybody expected USC to run all over Texas before Vince Young changed history.
-Alabama has the current Heisman Trophy winner, Mark Ingram, on their roster. Heisman winners usually play like shit in BCS Title games and their teams lose. In fact they are 1-5 in title games. I think the Longhorns will stuff Ingram tonight because honestly he isn't that good.
-Mack Brown will outwit Nick Saban. Yes, I know it sounds ludicrous. But what I think Brown can do for Texas tonight is pull out all the tricks and surprise a Tide team who thinks they are better than Texas.
-I think Texas is better than Alabama on a neutral field.
Prediction: Texas 28 Alabama 24-Granted the majority of my bowl predictions have been wrong so far, you might want to bet your mortgage on Bama covering.
I meant to post this last week but on College GameDay on the first of the year Lee Corso pulled the ultimate asshole move. Jake Olson is the kid with sunglasses who has been an inspiration to the USC football team this season. Jake has lost his eyesight due to cancer and was making a guest appearance on the GameDay show giving his predictions. The kid was actually really good and very insightful when it came to predicting the games. Lee Corso of course was not going to be upstaged by Jake and pulled the ultimate dick move at the end. Watch it...
Now that is cold. I can't wait to see the GameDay signs next season making fun of Corso for being an ass to a blind kid. You can see Chris Fowler try to amend the situation by grabbing Jake's hand but it was way too late. Herbie leans over to Corso in the Duck's head and laughs "You're an Asshole!"
Gold Jerry, Gold!
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
TheGirl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode
Motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot
And drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and
Left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The End.
HT: Dan
Matt Holliday announced today on the Doug Gottlieb Show on ESPN radio that he has decided to re-sign with the St. Louis Cardinals with a 7 year deal reportedly worth between $119-120 million. Wow! This is a great contract for Holliday because he will be staying in a baseball city in St. Louis and will be getting way over payed while doing it. Listen, when I think of franchise players who should make $100 million plus the names of Albert Pujols, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, and Manny Ramirez come to mind. Those guys deserve every dollar they get because they bring fans to the park and put up monster numbers year in and out. I don't think of Holliday as the same guy. This doesn't mean he can't be one of those guys but I just think his career has benefited greatly from playing in Coors Field and the Cardinals are now going to pay him to put up 40 plus home runs a season with 120 plus RBI's as a marque player. I don't see it happening.
Granted the Cardinals couldn't afford to lose Hollida since besides Pujols and Ryan Ludwick their lineup has very little proven power it just seems that they went beyond what it should have taken to re-sign him. The Yankees, Red Sox, and Mets were NOT negotiating with Holliday. From reports I have read it sounded like the only other contender for Holliday's services was the Baltimore Orioles. A team with 12 consecutive losing seasons. He wasn't going to go to Baltimore unless they offered him $150 million.
So what does Albert Pujols get now since Holliday is getting paid more? Honestly I think Pujols deserves at least $30 million a season, probably more. He is the best player in the game and he should never play for anybody else besides the Redbirds. He is the face of the franchise not named Stan Musial. Pujols is a free agent after the 2011 season. If the Cardinals are willing to spend like the Red Sox and Yankees do ($140 million plus a season) then it shouldn't be a problem giving Pujols a huge extension while paying for Holliday and adding other stars to fill out their roster. But this doesn't look like it will be the case. Starting pitchers Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright will be free agents soon. They won't be taking hometown discounts so the Cardinals could lose at least one of them if not both of them. Without pitching it doesn't matter how good Pujols and Holliday perform.
This is just another reason why baseball needs a salary cap.
TMZSports caught up with Vivid Entertainment president Steven Hirsch who apparently was approached by one of Tiger's many mistresses claiming she had a sex tape with him and was shopping the rights...
Right now it looks like we will not be seeing it since Tiger has to give his permission to release the tape. But like the steroid scandal in baseball this is due to leak out in someway in the future. If only Congress could stop talking about the BCS and get to more important things like Tiger's Wood.
If the roles were reversed and it was Chris Henry who was driving the car and she died there is no doubt in my mind he would be in jail. Instead he is dead thanks to her. Crazy bitches always get the benefit of the doubt. Just ask this "fan"...
As you can see Los Angeles Dodger's centerfielder Matt Kemp has a promising career ahead of him. Not only is he a budding superstar in baseball but he knows the fundamentals: always keep both hands on when following through to create more power. Thanks to TMZSports we will now have paparazzi stalking professional athletes. ALL RIGHT!!!
Mack Brown might want to put this ad up in the Texas locker room to get his players foaming at the mouth. I know Bama fans are confident they can handle the Longhorns but you already have the Heisman jinx (Mark Ingram) working against you and the fact that every media pundit has picked Bama in a rout. Academy Sports might be donating a lot of clothes to Africa starting January 8th.
Image HT: Clay Travis
Tonight's Orange Bowl match up pits the Ramblin Wreck of Georgia Tech versus the Cornfed Hawkeyes of Iowa. I'm taking the hometown Yellow Jackets and the points at -4 so you should just go ahead and bet everything on Iowa because all of my picks this bowl season have been absolutely retarded.
The real question isn't who wins tonight but who has the worst rap song by pasty white folks...
Iowa comes in strong with this depressing video...
But I got to go with "The Perfect Option" only because they score points with actual players appearing in the video...
Via the always hilarious BarStoolSports comes this video of Pat Sajak from "Wheel of Fortune" basically telling our armed troops to go fuck themselves with their pronunciation. At first I thought this video was BS but apparently it's real which is sad. Seriously, who gives a fuck if you mispronounced Kelly Ripa's name? I could understand if these were foreigners on "The Wheel" but this is our military. No need to embarrass them. I guess our freedom is only allowed when spoken correctly. God bless America.
It's refreshing to see that these major college football program "student"-athletes like Alabama's behemoth Terrence Cody are more concerned about earning their degree than stupid stuff like slutty jersey-chasing girls and drugs. Take for instance this story on ESPN in regards to Cody's "major"...
Later, Cody was talking about being on track to graduate in May and said he still needed two more classes. Somebody asked him what his degree was in. He paused, stammered for a few seconds, looked up and smiled and then muttered something under his breath.
“I keep forgetting it … consumer science, I think,” Cody said.
Correct me if I am wrong but I believe Ron Jeremy and Peter North both majored in the same thing while in college and went on to do incredible things in their industry. As much as I dogged FOX earlier for their horrible coverage of the BCS Bowl games I got to admit they have a sense of humor. At least the CG guy does.
Image HT: TheWizofOdds via Hawkeye Board
Boise State hung on to beat TCU last night 17-10 to cap an undefeated season once again but the real excitement came from FOX showing us the crowd/band/cheerleaders for 75% of the broadcast. Because without their constant coverage of everything off the field we wouldn't see the bandgirl going ape shit on this cowbell. Whoa girl, calm down, the enthusiasm is just electric when you hit that cowbell.
I hate FOX's coverage of college football because they insist we should actually care what the fans in attendance think about the game. Stop fucking showing them every 15 seconds Mr. Director. I don't care what the fat Boise State fan thinks about what is going on the field. We missed a fumble recovery by TCU's All-American Jerry Hughes because of this garbage. If you are going to show the crowd then by all means keep the camera fixated on the TCU cheerleaders. Guys want to see them. Not fat girls looking concerned.
Image HT: Deadspin
Next time your girl tries to argue with you about girls getting just as horny as us dudes well then let her take a look at this video...(PROBABLY NSFW)....
"I want to see your tongue...come on show me your tongue!"
Tim Tebow would approve of this miracle shot by Chandler Parsons.
This is the best stiff arm I have seen live. Baltimore Ravens RB Willis McGahee tosses Oakland Raiders safety Hiram Eugene to the ground on his way to a 77 yard TD run...
SportsCrack fan Kevin also sent in this shirt idea for Kansas freshman sensation Xavier Henry. Xavier is The X Faktor when it comes to another potential Championship in Lawrence this season and has not disappointed.
The X Faktor for $17.
The Big Man in the middle has helped lead Kansas to a #1 ranking and undefeated season so far with his incredible defense. Swat King Cole deserves some recognition so we figured why not give him his own SportsCrack shirt. The shirt idea came in from Jayhawk fanatic Kevin who will get a free shirt for his submission.
SWAT KING COLE Shirt for $17
Via TheBigLead comes this video of Oklahoma freshman Tiny Gallon shattering a backboard New Year's Eve against Gonzaga. The 6'9, 296 pound power forward is obviously everything but Tiny.
Clearly after this hit during yesterday's Cotton Bowl he won't have much of anything left...
Ole Miss QB Jevan Snead has been absolutely terrible all season. The Ole Miss team was pretty good this year and if Snead just had a decent season I think the Rebels could have been in a BCS Bowl. Speaking of BCS Bowls, why isn't the Cotton Bowl part of the Corrupt System? The Cotton Bowl used to be just as big as the Rose, Orange, and Sugar when I was a kid if not bigger. What happened? I know the old Cotton Bowl Stadium was a dump but now they play in Jerry Jone's palace. It's time the Cotton Bowl got a National Championship game.
Awful Announcing has this video from the Little Caesar's Bowl (PIZZA PIZZA!!!) of one of the worst announcers to ever speak into a mic in ESPN's Pam Ward basically telling Marshall's Vinny Curry to stop being a pussy and get off the field. How does this butch have a job at ESPN? She is fucking terrible. I'm not even being sexist here, Pam Ward is a disgrace to sports announcing. She doesn't know the players and she has little knowledge of the actual game of football. And yet ESPN continues to mock their audience by putting her on air. I could understand if they want her on the WNBA games or Spelling Bees or whatever fucking show nobody watches but please stop putting her on college football games. It's almost as embarrassing as the whole college football bowl system.
Go to your room Pam Ward.
Seriously, this might be one of the dumbest play calls I have ever seen. I didn't watch the game last night because I was too busy watching one of the shittiest movies I have ever seen called "The Happening" by M. Night Never Going to Make a Movie Worth a Shit Lamadamadingdong. The only reason I looked the play up was because they were mentioning it today on sports talk radio. Has head coach Jim Zorn just mailed it in or what? I feel bad for the punter, Hunter Smith, because you know you are going to get absolutely killed. Washington PD should charge Zorn with involuntary manslaughter for calling this bullshit.
I think a "Deadskins" shirt is in order soon. Growing up the Redskins were in the upper echelon of NFL franchises but have disappeared much like the Raiders. It's sad because the Redskins have a passionate fanbase who deserve better.
Joel Sherman of the NY Post confirms this deal between the Atlanta Braves and the New York Yankees via his Twitter account:
so the trade is vazquez and boone logan to #Yankees for melky cabrera, mike dunn and arodys vizcaino, that is now confirmed by Post
Just another one of those die hard Cowboy fans who can't break away from the exciting entertainment that is December losing. It's an annual tradition with Tony Romo at QB. You know it's been over 4700 days since the Cowboys last celebrated a playoff victory? Clearly this guy was trying to honor the occasion by finishing off his nachos on top of a trash can. Keepin' it classy with the spilled beer on the floor too.
Video HT: HotClicks
BARENUCKS.COM has this playfully gay video of Lebron James giving Allen Iverson a whole bunch of his junk for everyone to see on the jumbotron. By gay I mean happy. Who wouldn't want some guys sweaty balls in their face while they are stretching before a pointless NBA game? Not this guy.
I know I am late with getting this out but I just set up the 2nd annual SportsCrack.com Bowl Pick Em Contest. As always it's free to play and with the bowl games starting tomorrow you need to get in your picks asap. I know, it's my fault. Laziness is a disease you know?
If you played the regular season Pick Em Contest you should be receiving an email today on how to join the league. If not go to funofficepools.com and join this league: Sportscrack Bowl Pick Em Contest There is no password so don't you worry about it.
Good luck and email me if you have any questions!
Matt Fairchild
matt@sportscrack.com
You still have time to get the perfect present in time for Christmas. Sorry, Denise Milani is not available. But what is available are some great SportsCrack Tees that make people stop and notice and ask "Where did you get that shirt?"
This video is NSFW. Shit, this whole blog is NSFW but you still come back during work hours don't ya? Sinners all of ya! Check it out...
The Big Lead has video of John Wall dunking over Indiana with his left. So far Wall is living up to the enormous hype he had coming out of high school. This kid could definitely lead first year coach John Calipari and Kentucky to a National Championship with his one and done year. Of course Kansas fans laugh at this thought and for good reason since they are the deepest and most talented team in the country right now. That would be a hell of a final game: UK vs KU: Clash of the Diaper Dandies!
Hands down the most dominant and most outstanding player in college football this year was Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh. A lot of people want to talk about Texas Colt McCoy, Stanford's Toby Gerhart, and Alabama's Mark Ingram for good reasons but when you look at the complete season you can not argue who was the most outstanding in every single game he played. Suh aka House Of Spears was so dominant that FanIQ took a look at his defensive stats this year and compared it to the top defensive line units for Texas, Florida and Alabama combined.Alabama D-Line
98 Tkl, 23.5 TFL, 9.5 Sk, 20 QBH, 5 PBU, 0 Int, 1 FF, 3 Blk
Florida D-Line
112 Tkl, 33 TFL, 14 Sk, 48 QBH, 5 PBU, 0 Int, 1 FF, 0 Blk
Texas D-Line
116 Tkl, 25.5 TFL, 15.5 Sk, 10 QBH, 7 PBU, 0 Int, 2 FF, 0 Blk
Ndamukong Suh
82 Tkl, 23 TFL, 12 Sk, 24 QBH, 10 PBU, 1 Int, 1 FF, 3 Blk
Suh as an individual almost matches those entire team's defensive line units in terms of stats. Simply putting it he can't be stopped and he alone deserves to win the Heisman Trophy tonight.
SPORTSCRACK'S FINAL HEISMAN BALLOT
1-NDAMUKONG SUH
2-GOLDEN TATE
3-TOBY GERHART
4-MARK INGRAM
5-CJ SPILLER
Who do I think they will get the "Hypes"man tonight? Colt McCoy even though he isn't a top 5 QB in college football. If anybody wins it other than Suh it would be a damn shame.
The Great Wall has stormed into the college hoops scene and taken over as a true freshman. You've seen him take over games on ESPN and he has already become a legend in Lexington so we figured he was owed a shirt in his honor. On the front of the shirt it says "The Great Wall". On the back it says "Balls to the Wall" with the number 11 underneath it.
Be sure to grab these up quickly. Makes a great Christmas present for your favorite hoops fanatic.
Shipping will start next week and they should get to you in plenty of time for Christmas. Order yours now since we will be doing a limited run of these before the 2010 season starts. Email me if you are interested in hoodies.
Go Irish!
Fast forward to the 1:20 mark of the video...
I'm starting to believe that Tiger Woods has pretty much dipped his wood into every single breathing woman on the face of the earth. My wife is now avoiding me. Porn star, which translates to any person who bangs on camera and gets paid because let's be honest they aren't exactly stars, Holly Sampson revealed on May 26th that among the actual celebrities she has banged includes none other than Kevin Costner, Steven Dorff, and our favorite degenerate Tiger. This has now gone beyond Kobe Bryant status for Tiger. His marriage has to be over. No self respecting woman would put up with this much "transgressions" unless her name was Hillary.
Video HT: WWTDD via SportsByBrooks
But I think they are growing on me. Who the hell would bet their buddies on a Saints/Redskins game that if the Saints won they could shoot his 60 inch tv? Well, take a look at rednecks gone wild...
Can someone please explain what "Who dey!" means in the comment section. I'm too lazy and educated to go look it up on that there interweb. I'm pretty sure those were assault rifles they were using. Good to know Bambi doesn't have a chance in the Bayou.
I always knew the fist pump had some sexual innuendo.
VIDEO HT: Dan
You know this is exactly how I thought it went down. Elin puts on a little weight, skin starts to darken a bit losing her Swedish appeal and it forces Tiger to be a chubby chaser. Elin could put up with the good looking NY club girls and Las Vegas strippers but she isn't about to get beat out by a whale. Good for her!
Video HT: TAUNTR.COM
Gammons is leaving ESPN to pursue other things like sucking off Derek Jeter while he fondles Dustin Pedroia's balls according to the StarTribune.com...
Said Norby Williamson, ESPN executive vice president, production: "As a print journalist moving to television, Peter was a pioneer who became a Hall of Famer. His contributions to ESPN will never be forgotten. We're sad to see Peter go, but understand his desire for new challenges and a less demanding schedule."
Said Gammons: “My decision to leave ESPN and move on at this point in my life has been conflicted. I owe a great deal of my professional life to ESPN, having spent more than half of my 40 years in journalism working for the network, and the choice to move on was made with nothing but the strongest feelings for the people with whom I worked. ESPN gave me a great deal more than I gave it, and will always be a huge part of who I am."
Brian Kelly, who in 3 seasons at Cincinnati has led the Bearcats to a record of 34-6 with two BCS game berths (despite Cincy only have one 10 win season in their history before Kelly's arrival), will be the new head coach at the University of Notre Dame. The announcement is expected to come as soon as Wednesday or perhaps Thursday of this week after Kelly tells his Bearcat players he is leaving for Notre Dame.
First off this is a tremendous hire. Kelly is a proven winner who has over 19 years of head coaching experience at the collegiate level. In all 3 of his previous stops before Notre Dame he has made perennial losing programs into winners. Starting off with Grand Valley State in 1991, he took a little known collegiate II program and made them National Champs twice while being named the AFCA Division II Coach of the Year in 2002 and 2003. In his 13 seasons at Grand Valley State he led them to an overall record of 118-35-2 and his offenses scored regularly over 50 points a game.
He left to accept the Central Michigan head coaching job in 2004 and quickly turned around a program that had only won more than 3 games once in the previous 4 seasons before Kelly arrived. In 2006 he led the Chippawas to 9-4 record including a MAC Championship and a Motor City Bowl invite. He did not coach in the bowl game because he accepted the Cincinnati job.
And all he has done at Cincinnati is win and win big. His defenses are routinely ranked in the top 25 in scoring defense and sacks while his offenses are ranked in the top 10. This despite having limited talent (the highest rank recruiting class for Cincy is around the 60's in the nation) Kelly knows how to get the most out of his players. Currently Cincinnati is 12-0 with their second Big East Championship in a row and are 1 second away from playing Alabama for the BCS Championship. Simply putting it the guy has a resume that only Urban Meyer can compare it with when he left Utah for Florida 5 years ago. Kelly is a winner.
With the losses of Golden Tate and Jimmy Clausen early to the NFL Kelly will have his work cut out for him. Backup QB Dayne Crist is coming off ACL surgery and is expected to miss most if not all of spring practice. Two incoming freshmen, Andrew Hendrix and Tommy Rees, are expected to compete for significant playing time if Crist is not ready to go. FWIW Crist is another 5 star prep QB who has drawn favorable comparisons to Brady Quinn in his size, mobility, and arm strength. Kelly will have a slew of talented backs and wide receivers to work with in South Bend and he is known to be able to plug in and move guys around with no drop off at all in production when it comes to his offense. Take for instance in 2008 when Kelly was forced to use 5 different QB's because of injuries and yet still the Bearcats ranked 24th nationally in QB efficiency while leading them to a school record 11 wins. His defense was also strong leading the Big East in sacks and tackles for loss and his special teams were strong in both net punting and kickoff returns.
Kelly gets the most out of what he is given and there is no reason to believe he can't
do this at Notre Dame. The athletes and talent that Notre Dame has recruited in the last 5 seasons because of Charlie Weis and his staff dwarfs the 2 and 3 star players he could get at Cincinnati.
Today's meeting with Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick in New York City was just a formality. Kelly has the job. I don't have all the details on the contract but my source tells me at a minimum it will be a 5 year contract with plenty of incentive bonuses including bowl victories, graduation rates, BCS berths, etc. that will inflate the contract into the top 5 amongst FBS college head coaching positions.
Kelly is now expected to recruit for Notre Dame and has been given the option to coach Cincinnati in the Sugar Bowl against Florida. I have my doubts about him ever stepping foot in New Orleans but that remains to be seen.
I believe this is a homerun hire for Notre Dame and Swarbrick. They weren't going to ever convince the Urban Meyers, Bob Stoops, or Nick Sabans of the collegiate world to leave their jobs to make a lateral and some would call downsize move to South Bend. Kelly is the next best option and I believe was easily the most logical choice to lead Notre Dame starting now. Weis failed as a head coach at Notre Dame thanks to a horrible defense and some questionable game management but Kelly has the experience and the track record of building up teams into proven winners on the football field. All he does is win and win big consistently and Notre Dame hasn't experienced it in over 15 years. Expect that to change quickly and Notre Dame to once again return to the peak of the college football landscape.
The Kelly hire gets an overwhelming Sportscrack stamp of approval! Go Irish!
I fucking knew it. Elin is the reason why his dick keeps falling out of his pants into some cocktail waitresses hand. Those Swedes can be so ruthless. Poor Tiger.
(Fast forward to the 1:50 portion of the video)
Easily one of my favorite Notre Dame players of all time, it's going to be tough saying goodbye to Golden Tate. I feel like Tim Tebow on the sidelines at the end of the SEC Championship. Sad. Golden is one of the greatest football players to ever put on the pads in Notre Dame Stadium. He broke all kinds of records this season and brought back memories of Tim Brown and Rocket Ismail with his electricity and his ability to always make the big play. I'm honored to have witnessed his last collegiate game at Stanford. He always gave it his all and if the Irish would have won a few more games we would be talking about him winning the Heisman Trophy. Golden is going to be a great pro. Mark it down. He is a mixture of Hines Ward and Steve Smith from the Carolina Panthers. Simply he is a playmaker who should excel on Sundays. I have my fingers crossed for the Atlanta Falcons to draft him.
Thanks for the memories Golden. You are a warrior on the field and you will be missed.
WE BOWLING BABY!!!!!!! WE BOWLING BABY!!!!! WHOOOHHHH....OOOOWWWWW!!!!
And by the way, expect me to act the same way when Notre Dame hires Brian Kelly. In fact I might just have to camp out at South Bend Airport come tomorrow.
Following his announcement of his commitment 4 years ago to the University of Notre Dame at the College Football Hall of Fame, Sportscrack has learned exclusively that QB Jimmy Clausen will declare for the NFL today at the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. Jimmy followed in the great steps his brothers laid down in college by not winning many games in college. Of course one should blame the defense at Notre Dame for the 6 losses this season and not Jimmy who was nothing less than spectacular all season. Jimmy finished with 3722 yards passing with 28 TDs and only 4 INTs in 12 games and a completion percentage of 68%. He will go on to make millions upon millions in the NFL on a horrible franchise because in all likelihood he will be drafted in the top 10 in the NFL's April Draft.
Personally I have mixed feelings in regards to Clausen leaving and his place in history at Notre Dame. We all know he was one of the most hyped prep quarterbacks to come into the college game. Some people called him the "Lebron James of football" whether it was fair or not. After watching him play for 3 seasons I can safely say he lived up to the hype. His accuracy was deadly and in every game minus the Nevada and Washington State games he needed to be nearly perfect just to keep Notre Dame in the games and he rose up each time. It was never his fault the running game was pretty much nonexistent during Charlie Weis's tenure or the defense couldn't tackle or prevent freshman quarterbacks from tearing them up. It's surreal to see him leave with a 16-21 record while wearing the blue and gold during his 3 seasons. His record in high school was undefeated but in college all he knew was defeats.
I can't blame him for leaving early. He is ready for the NFL. True he could be a little bigger and a little more nimble (part of that is to do with the turf toe he played with all season) but the guy has the arm, accuracy and the smarts to be a successful NFL quarterback for a long time. Hopefully when he declares for the NFL he doesn't make wild proclamations of championships and MVP's are for him only. If anything playing at Notre Dame should humble you. God knows the last 3 seasons of Jimmy ball have been nothing but humbling. It would have been nice to see him play in one more game but the Notre Dame players decided to skip their bowl game once Weis was fired. Why I have no idea. You have to wonder how much Jimmy's influence had as a captain on deciding not to play one more game in his college career and go out a winner instead of a 4 game winning streak. He came in with his head high (lots of gel) and leaves with a black eye (literally). This is how I will remember Jimmy's legacy at Notre Dame.
