Peyton Manning and Jim Irsay Prove That Crying Is Allowed In Football

Trust me when I say this that it is extremely hard for me to find any sympathy for Jim Irsay when his father brutally ripped up Baltimore's hearts in the middle of the night with his Mayflower trucks but what can I say I guess I'm a softie. All too many times especially in professional sports I become very cynical of these athletes and the owners because in the end I think money is the ultimate goal for both. But for some reason I don't feel that way in this instance. Peyton Manning is by all accounts a great person and a great representative for the Colts franchise so you know it had to be extremely difficult for Irsay to let him go. But he honestly had no choice and I hope the fans of Indy can see that and not crucify him or the new QB in Andrew Luck.

I would have liked to seen Peyton retire yesterday. Look he has had 4 neck procedures in the past year alone. He's a hit away from facing serious consequences that could leave him regretting ever trying to make a comeback with another franchise. Peyton has nothing to prove at this point. He thinks otherwise. You have your ring. You have your money. You have your legacy. You have the respect of millions. Why risk it to play for another franchise at your age? I guess I just don't get it and I won't feel any sympathy towards Peyton if he seriously gets hurt with the Dolphins or Redskins or whoever else he decides to play for next season.

Right now my feeling is Peyton is on a parallel path to some old championship boxer who just doesn't know when to hang it up. Don't be Evander Holyfield fighting in Germany. Don't be Johnny Unitas playing with the Chargers. Be the guy who knew to walk away at the right time. John Elway went out on top when he could have played more seasons. Peyton isn't bigger than the game itself but I have this feeling he thinks he is and with his track record it would be hard to argue with him. I just have this horrible feeling the last time we will see Peyton in a football uniform will be him carted off on a stretcher. It doesn't need to be that way. Your family needs you more than any football team.

Don't be "that guy" Peyton. Be "the man" and walk away while you still can.

Kate Upton Esquire Video

And you thought you could come here to hear my thoughts on Peyton Manning's Era in Indy ending or the Saints Bounty "overblown" story? Nope. I'm just going to post this Kate Upton Esquire Magazine video and you can thank me later.

Kate Upton In Another Commercial: MLB 2K12 With Justin Verlander

Rated E for erection might be the best Youtube comment of all-time. It just hits the nail in the head.

Via Darren Rovell

This Would Be The Perfect Sports "Crack" Commercial

I mean does it get any fucking better? You know if I actually made money and wasn't scraping by on government cheese I would definitely make a commercial like this for SportsCrack. Some model just going around cracking stuff with her ass. It's Marketing 101. Shit we would probably be making more money than that dickhead who invented 5 Hour Energy. Who cares about having energy when you could be wearing a SportsCrack t-shirt that will get girls cracking nuts in their backside? It's fucking genius I tell you. First model to send in a video of her cracking nuts while wearing a SportsCrack shirt gets a free shirt and a thank you email. Ok shit I'll do two free shirts. I swear my generosity has kept this company from reaching it's ultimate goal: world domination.

The New Marlins Park Has An Aquarium Behind Home Plate

When I first heard the Marlins new stadium was going to have an aquarium behind home plate as the back stop I imagined something way over the top with an actual marlin or sailfish swimming around in a frenzy. Maybe it was all the drugs that still sweat out of my body to this day but now I am not nearly as excited after seeing this video posted of the aquarium. I mean there is no fucking way we are going to see the fish in the background when Hanley Ramirez decides not to run out a grounder in April. I'm sure they planned out the glass to be bullet proof but what if a foul ball somehow manages to hit a weak spot in the glass and it shatters? All in all though I think it's a cool feature and makes the new Miami Marlins stadium unique from others.

What isn't cool about the new stadium is the tacky home run feature that looks like it was designed by the production designer of The Birdcage. If you are going to go over the top go with the aquarium and not this monstrosity in the outfield.

J.P. Arencibia Does a Great Tim Kurkjian Imitation

Did you know that J.P. Arencibia is the only Blue Jay with the initials J and P to ever do an imitation of a current or non current ESPN MLB Analyst in the history of Canada and the WORLDDDDD! You just don't get it. I've invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.

Minnesota Wild's Devin Setoguchi Is Graceful At Shootouts

Watching Devin Setoguchi during the shooutout of last night's game vs Montreal brought back distant memories of Mike Modano and other past Minnesota greats who could take the puck and do magical things with it.

And then get shot before taking an actual shot.


Via HoldOutSports

MLB Wild Cards Expanding This Season

According to Ken Rosenthal of Fox Sports Bud Selig has gotten his wish to expand the playoffs from the current 8 teams to 10 teams starting this season. From my understanding is two teams will have a one game playoff to determine who advances to the Wild Card stage. What it would have meant for last season is we could have seen the Atlanta Braves and Boston Red Sox continue their epic collapses for another game. I'm not really a big fan of expanded playoffs because the season is already way too long. They need to shorten the season and start it earlier while finishing it before October.

Baseball interest has been going down for years. Start spring training in February and the season in early March when sports is in it's doldrums. Do 144 games for the regular season. Have the playoffs start in September. If you want to expand the playoffs to 10 teams then fine but please start the season earlier. Once football is over it's excruciating trying to wait for the boys of summer to put on the cleats.

My new rules if I were in Bud Selig's shoes:
1) Spring Training 4 weeks starting in beginning of February.
2) 144 regular season games starting in early March.
3) Designated Hitters in both leagues.
4) 12 teams max make the playoffs.
5) Strict salary Cap with a max of $125 million and a minimum of $75 million. Whomever goes OVER or UNDER is not eligible for the playoffs and will lose revenue and draft picks. Make it strict!
6) And for shits and giggles no more 100 pitch counts just because I hate the pitch count. Arms shouldn't be measured by pitch count. It should be measured by MRI's.
7) MLB baseball takes ownership of the Baltimore Orioles, Pittsburgh Pirates and Los Angeles Dodgers because of incompetent ownership with a fair market value deal and sells it to someone who is willing to invest in their product.

Daytona 500 Highlights

A bunch of left turns, some wrecks, and some rain delays. Damn I can't believe I missed the excitement. Maybe next year I will actually give a shit.

2012 Top NFL Free Agents Predictions

NFL free agency begins March 13th and this year there are some huge names who could be switching uniforms. Unfortunately some of the biggest names will probably stay with their current team because they are too fucking good to just let them walk away. It's like having a good woman. You are not going to just let her walk away because you know it isn't going to get better without her rocking your shit every night.

1) Drew Brees-Don't worry New Orleans you are not going to lose Brees. Even at the age of 33 Brees continues to get better and is an elite QB who more than likely will have a bust in Canton. There is no way the Saints let him go. He will get a 6 year deal for over a $100 million with about $30 million in signing bonus.

2) Ray Rice-Rice has been dynamite in Baltimore and at the age of 25 still has at least 3 great years left on his tread. Like Brees I can't see the Ravens who run a great organization letting their best offensive player leave. The Ravens are trying to lock up QB Joe Flacco and it could effect how much they can give Rice. I say Rice resigns for six years at around $60 million with $20 million in signing bonus.

3) Mario Williams-Mario is coming off an injury and actually didn't contribute to the Texans first playoff run last season. Plus Houston doesn't have much cap room. Thus I see the Texans not resigning him. The Atlanta Falcons needs a pass rusher and Williams is the perfect fit especially with John Abraham leaving. Atlanta will sign him to 5 year contract for $65 million with $30 million in signing bonus.

4) Arian Foster-The Texans will lose Mario Williams because they will have to resign restricted free agent Foster. Foster is the focal point in the Texan's offense and will get paid accordingly. Foster will resign with Houston and get a similar deal to what Rice got with Baltimore: 6 years around $60 million. $20 million signing bonus.

5) Carl Nicks-Nicks is the best free agent guard when it comes to both pass blocking and run blocking and when you have a valuable piece like Brees to protect I find it very hard to believe the Saints will let Nicks go. Someway, some how the Saints will find cap room and resign Nicks although I am holding out hope he ends up in Atlanta. 8 years for $70 million. $25 million in signing bonus.

6) Matt Forte-Forte isn't staying in Chicago. Too much bad blood there especially since they didn't renegotiate his deal before his injury. The Bengals need a back and Forte would be a great fit. 4 year deal for $50 million. $22 million in signing bonus.

7) Cortland Finnegan-Finnegan is the top corner in the market and is just itching to get out of Tennessee. He seems like the type of player that Dallas would go after plus they need help in their secondary. The Cowboys will get their man with a 5 year deal for $48 million. $25 million in signing bonus.

8) Ben Grubbs-While losing Finnegan to free agency will hurt the Titans will gain a valuable guy to block for Chris Johnson in Baltimore free agent Grubbs. The Titans will sign Grubbs for 5 years at about $40 million. $14 million in signing bonus.

9) Cliff Avril-The Lions are one of the top up and coming teams in the NFL and Avril was a sack machine last year. The Lions have room to resign him and will do so. 4 year deal for $50 million to stay in Motown. $19 million in signing bonus.

10) Calais Campbell-The Cardinals want to resign Campbell but I don't think he wants to stay out west. The Hurricanes product is just entering his prime and the Dolphins have a need for a defensive end. In a way Campbell comes home and gets paid to be a professional athlete in the lovely city of Miami for the second time in his career.

Kate Upton Destroying Mankind With This Hardee's Commercial

Hardee's just hit a walk-off grand slam with this Kate Upton commercial. I think I honestly blacked out there for a while. This might be the greatest commercial ever. Fuck it. This IS THE GREATEST COMMERCIAL EVER!!!

Via HotClicks

Sacha Baron Cohen vs Ryan Seacrest

Trying to watch the Oscars is about as enjoyable as plucking your mole hairs but this shit Sacha Baron Cohen did to Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet was kind of funny. The amount of free advertising and publicity Cohen got for his new dictator movie for pulling this stunt is priceless. But the question everyone wants to know is who are those girls? I new dictators could get some good side pieces but those girls are super model quality. Someone needs to find out asap.

Ryan Braun Is Full Of Shit

Ryan Braun just pulled a Rafael Palmeiro. Listen I don't know Ryan Braun. I have never talked to him nor am I a Brewers fan. But I can tell he is lying.

There is no reason for MLB to go after one of their young superstars in Braun who is coming off a MVP season. He simply failed the test and got off on a technicality. There is a specific reason why MLB is pissed off. They know Braun's urine sample came out positive and it was through the roof by more than 3 times the highest level on record since they began testing.

Braun got off. He failed the test plain and simple. Every time I look at the Hebrew Hammer I can't help but think of Palmeiro in front of Congress. You can deny it all you want but there is no "boogeyman" tainting star ball players urine samples.

So either Braun is lying or some secret organization is out to "taint" Braun's reputation with a failed drug test. You be the judge.

Pearl Jam Sings "Jeremy Lin"

Yeah I know I promised I would stop with all the Jeremy Lin posts but shit, what else is there to talk about? Football and baseball are both not in season. Linsanity is basically the only interesting story happening right now in the sports world. I guess I could talk about Ryan Braun's winning appeal of a positive PED test but I have no idea what to believe or not in that whole case. Anyways Jimmy Fallon does a really good Eddie Vedder here and nails his newest hit "Jeremy (Lin)." Last night Lin had his worst game as a starter with as many turnovers as points (8) and the Knicks got smoked by the best team in the NBA in Miami. But all is not lost my friends. I had the Heat covering the 9 points.

Shit Baseball Players Say

Not bad. I would like to add:

-It's so fucking hot out here.
-Catch the fucking ball.
-Don't be an asshole, run that shit out.
-Pick it bitch.
-My balls are swollen.
-I can hit this fucker.
-Don't worry they got a bunch of black players on their team.
-Kid has a cannon.
-Turn it.
-Move up in the box.
-ROCKET FIRE!
-Holy shit this guy throws slower than Jaime Moyer.
-Back in the day I used to play with ____.

Feel free to add your own in the comment section.

Tampa Slugger Evan Longoria Is Hitting Clean Up With Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson

I know it's gotta suck to be Tampa Bay Rays 3B Evan Longoria. Not only does Evan have to play baseball for money and suffer the humiliation of getting paid millions but now he has to deal with dating a charity case like Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson. I mean look at her! All busted up. Poor guy. You know it's not just the millions of American families out there suffering because the middle class keeps shrinking it's the ball players who have to face the adoring attention of having to stuff a Playboy bunny every other night. I feel bad for Longoria. I hope he can get through this tough time.

I'm praying for young Longoria.

Anywho back to pictures of his road beef...

Lighting Farts With David Alan Grier

Lighting Farts with David Alan Grier - watch more funny videos

Maybe it's because I have the mind of a 12 year old but farts are never not funny. The fact that David Alan Grier made a music video about lighting farts is gold in my book. I've got charred crack hair for memories of a childhood lost but never forgotten. Thanks David for the laughs.

Kate Upton Completely Nude

Granted you really can't see shit, well at least the important parts, of Kate Upton here in the magazine Muse (some fashion magazine bullshit) but that isn't going to stop me from posting it. It's my duty to get this young 19 year old that nobody has ever heard of some attention she deserves. I'm all about charity here folks. The charity of KAPOOW!

Kapoow=pageviews.

Via WWTDD

K-Swiss Blades By Kenny Powers

K-Swiss Blades by Kenny Powers - watch more funny videos

There are 3 things that an athlete needs to succeed: talent, strippers, and speed. Put all 3 of those together and you got Blades. A fucking crazy looking K-Swiss shoe that gives Patrick Willis the power to tackle wildebeests. That shit is real. And if people were wondering who would replace the late great Steve Jobs in terms of creativity and vision I think we all know who the answer is: Kenny Mother Fucking Powers.

Now go buy some Blades. And while you are at it go buy some SportsCrack shit. Don't be a dick. Do it. You know you want to.

Blake Griffin Dunks Over Multiple Nuggets

Great dunk and all Blake Griffin but I'm still pissed you couldn't cover the 9 vs the Nuggets last night. Sure you won by 8 but that doesn't do shit for me bro. You got to cover the spread before I start calling you a superstar. Yes the dunks are nice and you get hacked more often than Shaq did in his prime but if you want to be up there with the true legends you have to cover spreads for ole Fairchild. Jeremy Lin and the Knicks easily covered the 7 vs the Hawks last night. Mike Brey and his overachieving drunk leprechauns easily covered the 3 vs West Virginia last night too. If you want me to put you up on a pedestal like Brey and Lin then you gotta cover. Don't be a selfish asshole. Do it for me. Actually more importantly do it for my daughter. It's your fault I have to recycle diapers.

Thanks!

Degenerate

Jeremy Lin - Superior Lintellect Video

Is it bad that I raughed the whole time watching this Honey Badger-esque "Lintellect" video? Yeah I get it. I'm feeding into stereotypes about Asians being really good in arithmetic. We all know that's not wight.

Now go buy this Linsanity shirt!

Missouri Tigers Fan Enjoys Polishing The Knob

Little Mizzou brat just showing up ESPN's own brat in Doug Gottlieb with the old fake polishing knobs move. Come on kid. You need some new material. Now go back to your meth lab and try not to blow up anything.

Davonte Neal Signs With Notre Dame

Notre Dame's 2012 class is finally done with the announcement that 5 star prospect Davonte Neal has signed after a day full of drama. Earlier today a press conference was scheduled inside Neal's elementary school where he was expected to announce his decision between Notre Dame and the home state Arizona Wildcats. Neal never showed up. FoxSportsArizona.com scrambled to give some good explanation of Neal's absence and the best they could come up with 3 weeks after National Signing Day is that Neal still had not made up his mind. Rumors surfaced there was a struggle between Neal's father who wanted him to go to Notre Dame and Davonte who wanted to stay close to home and go to Tucson.

At this point who knows what the truth is?

What we do know is Notre Dame just picked up a tremendous playmaker on offense who has the chance to make an immediate impact in the fall. On tape Neal reminds me a lot of Golden Tate when he came out of high school in Nashville. Both are around the 5'9, have good balance, great speed, and can break tackles with tremendous leg strength and are special teams standouts. For my money I think Neal will be the best player in Notre Dame's 2012 class. The kid has superstar written all over him and I would expect head coach Brian Kelly to use him immediately in much the same way he used Marty Gilyard at Cincinnati.

Kate Upton Says Good Morning From Australia

How would you like to be the guy in charge of dusting out the sand out of her vagina? Yeah I know. What a disgustingly degrading job that must be. Women don't know how easy they have it.

Bill Raftery Screams "Onions" To UCONN's Shabazz Napier's Game Winning 3

Apparently Bill Raftery's screaming basketball orgasm includes fetishes with onions. I don't know whether to laugh or hide in a corner. But one thing I do know is I love the passion Raftery displayed and with March Madness right around the corner I'm looking forward to some more "ONIONS!" and "SEND IT IN BIG FELLA!" calls.

Video via TheBigLead

Saturday Night Live Does A Linsanity Open

Bar Refaeli and Chris Paul On A Trampoline

I've been told to stop the video at the 1:57 mark. I don't know why. Can you tell me?

I'm kind of surprised Chris Paul isn't more cut up. Bar looks ok but I'm really disappointed in Paul. You are a professional athlete. You shouldn't have baby fat or love handles. I'm sure it doesn't matter as there is little doubt Paul has been penetrating the lane despite Bar's zone defense if you catch my drift. What I'm trying to say is they definitely fucked. Body language doesn't lie.

Video via Ball Don't Lie

Jeremy Lin's Top 10 Plays

Ok this is it for a while with the Jeremy Lin stuff. The kid again led the Knicks to their 7th consecutive win with 13 assists last night. You can see his confidence is through the roof right now as it should be. Carmelo better not fuck it up come Sunday. I got thousands of LINSANITY shirts on the line here ya know? Daycare, diapers, and scotch doesn't pay for itself so don't go ball hogging Melo.

Donate to the Fairchild family fund by buying a LINSANITY Shirt today. Or you can buy one of our other kickass shirts. Either way my kid and crumpled up liver would be thankful.

Kate Upton Just Straight Up Killing It With Her Dance Moves

The SI cover girl is on a fucking rampage. Kate Upton could end wars. And probably start some. But anyway who gives a shit? Look at those dance moves! Just straight up killing it like Jeremy Lin.

Jeremy Lin Does It Again With Game Winning Shot...Linsanity Continues

This is turning into the best sports story in a long, long time. Jeremy Lin has gone from a player who wasn't recruited out of high school, wasn't drafted out of college, and was cut by two NBA teams to a NBA Legend. It's LINSANE! Last night Lin went for 27 points with 12 coming in the 4th quarter including this game winner 3 in the final second. It's a story of perseverance and ultimately it's the ultimate underdog story. Sort of like watching a real life Rudy. I'm not a New York fan by any means but I can't help but root for this kid. Lin is the guy that nobody gave a chance and now he is proving so many people wrong. It's a great story and I hope it continues.

Order your LINSANITY T-Shirt here...

Happy Valentine's Day

Our "friends" Rosie Jones and Kaylee Carver would like to personally tell you Happy Valentine's Day. Now go open your presents. Remember kids...VD is the gift that keeps on giving.

Via Egotastic

Russell Westbrook's Dunk Nearly Causes Reggie Miller And Chris Webber Dunkgasms

Holy shit that was an unbelievable dunk from the Thunders Russell Westbrook and as you can tell by TNT announcers Reggie Miller and Chris Webber they had both dunkgasms. You usually don't witness or hear dunkgasms outside of Slam Dunk Contests so maybe this was a premature dunkgasm.

By the way the Thunder went on to lose to the lowly Kings. I know it doesn't really matter but when you have money on the Thunder winning it is kind of big fucking deal. Assholes.

LINSANITY New York Basketball Shirts Now For Sale!

Taking preorders now on LINSANITY Shirt. 100% pre shrunk charcoal cotton tee with distressed screen printed graphic on the front. Shirts start shipping February 13 so get your orders in today. Limited quantities.

Evgeni Malkin with the beautiful spin-o-rama shootout goal

I got to be completely honest with you. I have not been following much hockey this year. It still pains me to think we lost our team here in Atlanta because of shitty ownership. I guess it still hurts a lot. Scratch that. It hurts a fucking ton plus I don't have any team to root for. But what I can root for is sick goals and this one by Evgeni Malkin brings back fond memories of Denis Savard with the Blackhawks and Canadians.

Kenny Powers Open Letter to Tim Tebow

Grantland.com has this hilarious open letter from the man, the myth, the legend himself Kenny Powers to some guy named Tim Tebow. I don't know, you may have heard of this Tebow fellow. After you are done reading it be sure to go out and buy a Subway foot long so Grantland.com can keep on blasting us with annoying ads.

As Yogi Berra famously said, "it's like Deja Vu came all over itself again."

The more I read about Tim Tebow, the more I see similarities to my own life story. Our story begins with a young mother- to-be who wants an abortion. Instead, she mans up and has the baby, giving birth to a son-child.

This special son-child makes a life out of bucking the odds. Though neither the strongest nor the fastest, he excels at sports. Many experts doubt the remarkable lad. They tell him he throws funny, and that he doesn't have the right physique for the game. It's science, they say. He'll only go so far.

But the Gifted Young Athlete refuses to let the doubters shit in his Wheaties. To hell with science. The Gifted Young Athlete knows that he has something stronger. He has God on his side. So he presses on and keeps a good attitude, and every time he beats the odds in life he proves the experts wrong.

Next thing you know, there are folks calling it a miracle. Maybe the Gifted Young Athlete is blessed by the Almighty, they say. Perhaps he really does have a fucking angel on his shoulder.

And suddenly the experts don't look like experts anymore. By now, our hero has upset a whole lot of people. There are those who simply don't like the idea of a man being favored by God. They feel his special relationship with Jesus diminishes their own somehow. If Jesus loves the Gifted Young Athlete, what does he think of the rest of us? Bunch of assholes?

So the haters multiply, and soon the resentment reaches a boiling point. And that's when the torches and pitchforks and long knives come out. Yes, the world is given a savior but they choose to crucify him instead. Who'd a thunk it? The same old fuckin' story.

Maybe that's why Jesus likes us so much to begin with. He sees a little of himself in there.

You see, Gifted Young Athlete, people look at us and they see all they don't have. It's like, "homeboy's over there gettin' 'er done! And Jesus loves him too! Fuck that guy."

But can you really blame them? Wouldn't you be pissed? Jesus helps us win at sports games, yet he's nowhere to be found when poor people need important medicine for their kid's infection, or when they're late on a mortgage payment. Think about it. There are folks in Africa who get AIDS without even being gay. Yet here Jesus is, helping me & Tebow out in sports, just because we're maybe a little bit cooler in his eyes. It's a raw deal, plain and simple. Even though he's hooking me up, I still see it's kind of a cocksucker move on Jesus's part.

But my advice to you, Mr. Tebow, from one Gifted Young Athlete to another: don't kill yourself trying to make sense of all the madness. Just hold on to your dick and have a good time. Believe me, it's all you can do. Make no apologies, either. Those are for weak people, and the haters will hate you anyway. It's not our fault we're awesome, playboy. It's Jesus's. As the gorgeous bitches in the makeup commercials used to say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

God Bless.

Kenny Powers
Shelby, NC

And this is why the internet was invented by Al Gore. How can you not love La Flama Blanca? He just told us that Jesus loves cool guys who are good at sports more than kids in Africa. And you know what? Powers is right. Preach on brotha man.

Jeremy Lin has started LINSANITY

New York Knicks rookie point guard and Harvard graduate Jeremy Lin (ladies calm down) completely crossed over the Wiz's John Wall last night and threw it down with author-ity in another remarkable game. Lin finished with 23 points and 10 assists in the 107-93 win over the Wizards. It won't approach Tebowing cult status but don't be surprised if LINSANITY takes over the NBA for the next couple of months. The Knicks and the NBA have needed a guy like this for a while. In his first 3 starts Lin has scored 25, 28, and now 23 points. If Lin keeps it up he could be one of the biggest superstars in basketball because he is a little guy who plays with emotion and also plays on the biggest stage in the Big Apple. LINSANITY has begun.

And yes a shirt is on the way.

Will Ferrell Does 80's Intro Night for Bulls vs Hornets

I always kinda figured Derrick Rose was a Notebook fan.

Two Girls Brawling at the Giants Super Bowl Parade

A couple of future "Real Housewives" right there. I could throw out a thousand different New York stereotypes but I will just let the video do my work. No need to waste my energy on these GINAS.



Video via TheBigLead via Guyism

These Faux Nike Pro Combat College Football Helmets Have to Happen

Over at LostLettermen.com they got a designer to do a series of faux Nike Pro Combat helmets for teams in the Big 10, Big 12, Pac-12, and the SEC. All of them are outstanding but these are the four I like the best from each conference.

I know Illinois is trying to veer off the whole Fighting Illini image but how can you not love this head dress? The rain would come down hard in Champaign with these bad boys...


With Charlie Weis in town you might as well go big with the helmet too. The oversized Jayhawk is on the basketball court already so why not take it to the football helmet?


The Arizona State Sundevil Sparky looks sinister on this helmet! You gotta love the shit eating grin!


This LSU helmet has to be done. It's simply fucking amazing looking. How could a player not want to go to war with the eye of the Tiger on your helmet? If I was an opponent these helmets would definitely make me think twice about going over the middle on LSU.


Be sure to check out LostLettermen.com for more of the helmet concepts.

And before you ask I think a Notre Dame gold helmet with either the Fighting Irish leprechaun over sized on it would be cool or a navy helmet (I know sacrilegious) with a gold interlocking ND on it would be tight. The helmet now is great but I wouldn't mind once a year coming out with some new.

Artie Lange Kills It With His "Boston" Rap

Boston-"The City where Bucky Dent made the Red Sox look like the cast of Rent!"

Boston-"Where dreams are shattered...black people don't matter!"

Boston-"Where the White House is holy, unless you are the Bruins jerk-off goalie!"

Boston-"Where if a brotha gets mouthy, he gets dropped off in Southie!"

Boston-"You know Brady is always going to have game, even if his first kid don't share his last name!"

Boston-"This town is a big joke, where Len Bias bought bad coke!"

Boston-"Manning to Cruz, get ready to lose!"

Boston-"People leave here and they show no remorse, like Wade Boggs in pinstripes riding on a horse!"

Boston-"Last year the Red Sox had a team to remember, they would have won it all if it wasn't for a little thing called September!"

Be sure to check out the Nick & Artie Show at www.nickandartie.com

Maria Menounos Lost Her Super Bowl Bet, Wears Giants Bikini

Extra Host Maria Menounos lost a friendly wager with a friend in which she bet her Patriots would beat the Giants in the Super Bowl or she would have to wear a bikini on air. Thanks to the clutch play of Eli Manning the world got to see Maria decked out in just a top and bottom. I would say that is better than going to Disney World.

Image via WWTDD

Jimmy Kimmel Challenge: Unplug the TV During the Super Bowl

Those are some brave souls. I would have gone bat shit crazy. I'm not saying someone would have died but they wouldn't be walking for at least a few days.

Rob Gronkowski's Ankle Appears To Be Fine

It's strange I don't see New England Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski limping around with a bad ankle after the Patriots lost to the Giants in this video. Hey I have no problem with players going all out partying after a tough loss to end the season. You are only young once so you might as well enjoy it. But I'm sure a lot of Pats Nation including Tom Brady is going to take this video the wrong way. You can't cage the Gronk. The only problem I have is with all the sausage flailing around. You are a professional athlete. You should have girls around dancing trying to have million dollar babies with you. Not a bunch of hanging meat in tight shirts. You are better than this Gronk.

Via BarStoolSports

Tim Tebow with Kate Upton and Chrissy Teigen

That son of a bitch finally did it! Tim Tebow had everybody fooled with the whole "virgin" tag and now he has two Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models ready to devour him. Play on playa!

Via TheBigLead on the Indy set of The Dan Patrick Show

Andrew Luck Autograph Stanford Mini Helmet

We just got a few of these Andrew Luck Stanford Cardinal Mini Helmets in stock. They retail for $200 but I'm going to sell them for $125 a piece.

Les Miles Rips Gunner Kiel A Big One

The Mad Hatter didn't exactly take the high road when it came to his thoughts about Gunner Kiel, the five star quarterback, who decided to go to Notre Dame instead of LSU. I love Linda Cohn's reaction to it..."Wow." Yeah it's probably not the best idea to just crush high school kids for not picking your school. Next time if you are Les Miles you might just want to be happy for the kids who decided to play for you and not the one who got away.

Kate Upton Slow Motion Video

I imagine this would be what time would do if I actually met Kate Upton. Everything would just slow down as the cops handcuffed me and pulled my pants up. A man can dream right?

Cassanova McKinzy Picked Auburn Because They Have A Chick-Fil-A On Campus

Typical SEC football decision for a recruit. Forget about the dorms or the education or the girls. Nope for LB Cassanova McKinzy the reason why he picked Auburn over Clemson was because they had a Chick-Fil-A on campus. And while I will fully admit Chick-Fil-A is the shit and I pretty much eat there every other day I'm not sure if I'm going to pick a school because they have one on location. Nope. My choice would have been determined by the watering hole. Got to keep your priorities straight or you will end up like Deontay Greenberry and wake up this morning and realize you decided to play football at fucking Houston.

Sh*t People Say At A Super Bowl Party

Via HotClicks

Kenny Powers Is Back For A 3rd Season

Just a couple of more week bitches till Kenny Powers starts running his super star game on HBO's Eastbound and Down. It looks like they are bringing April back. Tatas for miles. With his new sidekick Shane played by Jason Sudeikis hopefully that doesn't mean we have less of Stevie Janowski. Stevie cracks me up pretty much every scene he is in.

Rumor is this will be the last season of Eastbound and Down. This better be a fucking god damn lie. The world needs more of Kenny Powers but it sounds like Danny McBride wants to ride off into the sunset. Don't be an asshole Danny. Kenny MuthaFukin Powers has at least a shelf life of 5 seasons. Make it happen.

Speaking of Dawgs, This UGA Cheerleader Has Guns

I think Georgia just found their new fullback. Cheerleader Anna Watson needs some band-aids for as much as she is cut up. Good lord. This girl would kick my ass in arm wrestling. Hopefully her Adam's apple isn't as big as her balls.

Chances of A-Rod having Anna on speed dial: 99.9%

Via RedandBlack.com

Dogs Are Awesome

My dog Bailey can sit, shake, speak, roll over, fetch, eat, cuddle, and fart with the best of them. But what she can't do is give receipts to Chaz Bono. In other words she is smarter than you think. I taught her standards for God's sake.

Via TheBigLead

Blake Griffin Posterizes Kendrick Perkins With This Incredible Throwdown Dunk

This was an absolutely insane play by Blake Griffin but does it really count as a dunk? I mean he barely touches the rim. It's more like a Gronkowski spike then a Dominique Wilkins' windmill. But anyways enough of the semantics. Blake Griffin is a freak of nature. That can't be argued. And the Clippers with Chris Paul at the point might be the most exciting team in the NBA. I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of people jumping on the Clippers' bandwagon. Soon you will be seeing celebrities wearing Griffin jerseys instead of Kobe jerseys. Watch. And soon everybody will be wearing "The Blake Show" shirt not only because it's a fad and kids and adults fall for peer pressure but because it's one of the coolest looking shirts on the planet. So what are you waiting for? Buy the damn thing.

Phil Steele Releases His Projected Preseason AP Top 10

If you are a college football junkie like myself I'm sure you have heard of Phil Steele. Steele is the encyclopedia of college football knowledge. He literally knows everything. I claim to know a lot about the sport but frankly I'm sure on my best day I have about 20-30% of the information that Steele has running through his head. Steele just released his projected preseason AP Top 10 teams for 2012. He usually nails 9 out of the top 10 teams so it's a great barometer for where your favorite team might land next year in the polls.

Here is his top 10:

10. West Virginia

9. Arkansas

8. FSU

7. Michigan

6. Georgia

5. Oklahoma

4. Oregon

3. Alabama

2. USC

1. LSU

I had 8 of his top 10 teams in my preseason poll. Where we disagreed were with Georgia and FSU. Having watched both teams extensively last season while they may have top 10 talent it was hard for me see either one as a top 10 team considering how they performed when they faced good competition. Of course things can change from season to season but it seems like every year FSU is extremely overrated (still living off their haydays before the turn of the century) and Georgia is not even close to the elite SEC teams of Alabama and LSU but then again they don't have to play either till the SEC Championship.

Of course both FSU and Georgia could be a couple of elite recruits away from getting back to top 10 status. We will have to wait and see in 2 days.

Lebron James Hurdles John Lucas To Complete Alley Oop

I'm trying to think of a more impressive alley oop but nothing is popping up. I'll give Lebron James his due. This was a sick dunk.

Via FanIQ

#1 Recruit Dorial Green Beckham To Commit To Missouri

With just two days left before National Signing Day the drama over the nation's #1 recruit Dorial Green-Beckham (think Randy Moss/AJ Green/Michael Floyd) appears to be over. According to Tulsa World's John Hoover the 6'6 receiver with 4.5 speed will be staying in-state and play for the Missouri Tigers.

Dorial Green-Beckham will choose #Mizzou instead of #Arkansas or #Sooners, source says. No. 1 prospect in America. #DGB

This is by far the biggest recruiting coup for Missouri. Next year they will be playing in the SEC and now it appears they are getting SEC-type quality players. Dorial should dominate the college game and be in the NFL by 2015.

Here are some highlights of Green-Beckham...

The NBA is all about fundamentals

Picture perfect free throw mechanics and technique right there. If you wonder why the Bobcats (wait a second, there is a NBA team called the Bobcats?) are so god awful shitty then take a long look at the asshole above shooting a free throw. I'm too lazy and drunk to look up who the shooter is but like most things I really don't care.

Forget Tyler Pastornicky, The Braves Needs To Sign This Ball Boy

I've been hearing all offseason about how awesome Tyler Pastornicky is going to be from the local radio stations and it's gotten to the point where I just tune it out. There is a reason why nobody has heard of him outside of Atlanta. Because he's basically a nobody. But don't worry this April he will be the starting shortstop for the Atlanta Braves. Yeah that should work out well. Instead of Tyler Pastramiface Frank Wren should have been scouting this ball boy down under. Look at that Neo like grab. Kid has skills. Sign him up Wren. He can't be much worse than Heyward....lawsuit...coming...in...3,2.1.

Massive Cockfighting Operation Cause News Anchors to Lose It

I never realized there were over 2000 cocks in San Diego. What is so god damn funny? Those poor dirty cocks never had a chance. That one woman just chocked the cock like a professional. Impressive form I must add when you got an out of control flailing cock spitting at you.

Video via Hot Clicks

Notre Dame Football Players Rapping "Strip"

Notre Dame football players Josh Atkinson, George Atkinson III, and Amir Carlisle put together this remake of Chris Brown's "Strip." All that is missing is Rihanna with a couple of New York "strips" covering those black eyes and bruises.

Not too shabby especially from new comer Carlisle who will be wearing Michael Floyd's #3 jersey next season. But none of them compare to Louis "Irish Chocolate" Nix. Straight superstar right here taking a "Grenade"...

60% OFF ALL BASEBALL SHIRTS

With Baseball season right around the corner I figured I would do a 60% off sale on all of our current shirts in stock. I have limited quantities left so be sure to get your order in fast.

FRESH PRINCE OF MOTOWN

Yesterday the reports were free agent slugger Prince Fielder was down to a final four of Nationals, Orioles, Rangers and Dodgers for his services. Well you can throw those reports in the shitter because Detroit came in and swooped up Fielder today with an insane 9-year, $214 million dollar contract according to Yahoo Sports.

The Tigers were late-comers to Fielder’s free agency, but closed strong, outbidding the likes of the Washington Nationals and Texas Rangers. The sides were working on the final details of the contract Tuesday, and the deal is pending a physical.

Adding Prince to Detroit's lineup is clearly a huge gamble. Miguel Cabrera will have to move to either third base or DH to accommodate Prince at first. Miggy would look horrible at the hot corner in my opinion. The Detroit defense particularly in the infield isn't going to be solid. But then again with Prince in the lineup I'm sure they will score a lot more runs than they butcher infield grounders that cost the pitching staff runs.

With Fielder making over $20 million a season he will be the third Tiger joining Miggy and Justin Verlander. Obviously that is a ton of money to invest in 3 players with two of them having serious weight issues and one being a blown arm away from eating a lot of money.

I know giving Fielder a 9-year contract is absolutely insane but at the age of 27 I like it a lot better than what the Angels gave for Albert Pujols. Fielder has been extremely durable playing in over 99% of the Brewers' games during his 6 seasons in Milwaukee.

An interesting storyline will be the comparisons between Prince and his dad's time in Detroit. Cecil hit 50 homers in Detroit before the steroid era. Now with his huge contract Prince will be under pressure to produce and even blow away what Cecil did back in the early 90's. Good luck with that.

There is no doubt though that Detroit has a fresh new Prince ready to turn Motown into Titletown with his huge swing. Just be ready to shell out a little more dough Tigers fans when you hit up the concessions to support the big guy.

I thought my readers might enjoy this old photo from the SI Vault of a 9-year old Prince getting help from his dad in order to tie his shoes....

Terrell Suggs Calls Skip Bayless A Douchebag

Thank God somebody finally said it. Skip Bayless is a royal douchebag. Thank you Terrell Suggs.

Billy Cundiff is Ray Finkle

Ravens Fans Reactions To Billy Goat Cundiff

The fat guy in the Ed Reed jersey is the best one. It's not too often you can catch a reaction of that magnitude on camera. Just a complete breakdown. It's basically how an Orioles fan like myself reacts on Opening Day every year for the past 14.

Ronald Darby to FSU?

Notre Dame gained a 5 star recruit this week when Gunner Kiel enrolled but now it appears they may have lost a 5 star player to FSU. Ronald Darby, an electric cornerback with world class speed, appears to be headed to FSU after de committing from Notre Dame according to Ricardo Louis, a recent WR flip to FSU from Auburn.

"He was committed to Notre Dame and then he decomitted because he wanted to open up his options, which is what I what I want to do," Louis said. "We were talking about how much we like Florida State and he was telling me if I go there that he would go there too. Just talked about how much we liked it basically."

Losing a player with Darby's speed is a huge loss for ND and it comes at a big time position need at corner. With Yuri Wright kicked out of high school because of graphic tweets expect Notre Dame to back away from recruiting Wright while leaving only Tee Shepard as a true cornerback in this class. With starters Gary Gray and Robert Blanton both gone to graduation and the NFL Notre Dame has an immediate need for cornerbacks to contribute right away.

Brian Kelly and his staff will continue to recruit Darby until he signs his letter of intent and are also trying to flip Florida commit Brian Poole from Florida and convince Anthony Standifer from Illinois to wear the Blue and Gold next season.

Right now chalk a win for FSU in the recruiting battle by getting Darby. Now Kelly needs to counteract and make sure they get bodies in at a position that could be the difference between a couple of wins and losses in 2012.

RIP Sarah Burke

Only 29 years old the world lost a great freestyle skier today with the announcement that Sarah Burke had passed away today just 9 days after suffering a brain injury while training at Park City Mountain Resort. Burke suffered a torn vertebral artery in her neck from a fall within the superpipe. She will be greatly missed by family, friends, and fans worldwide. RIP Sarah Burke.

Kobe Bryant's ex-wife Vanessa gets $75 MILLION divorce settlement

Clearly it pays well to be a wife of a sports superstar these days. Vanessa Bryant, the now ex-wife of Lakers superstar Kobe, reportedly will get $75 million in a divorce settlement which also includes the couple's three mansions in Newport Beach, CA according to TMZ.

Vanessa is walking away with $75 million, which we're told represents close to half of their total assets, estimated at around $150 million.

TMZ previously reported several transfers of property earlier this year between Kobe and Vanessa. It turns out, based on the property settlement, Vanessa scored a clean sweep, snagging ALL THREE of the former couple's mansions in the Newport Beach area.

Vanessa gets the estate the couple was living in, the estate her mom is living in, and she gets the new estate that had been under construction for 2 years and was just completed. We were told Kobe was moving into the new estate, but that's not true. It's Vanessa's crib, lock stock and barrel.

Talk about hitting a fade away 3 in court Vanessa clearly racked up with all of Kobe's mansions. Now it's only a matter of time before Elin Nordegren comes over and swaps war stories.

Rob Lowe Confirms In Tweet That Peyton Manning Will Retire

Sorry Adam Schefter and Mort! you've been fucking scooped by an actor who became famous for a sex tape. Ladies and gents Mr. Rob Lowe is reporting (or tweeting) that Peyton Manning has retired.

#Colts fans, let's hope my info is wrong. Don't like being wrong, but this time... I'm hoping #NFL #Manning
2 hours ago

RobLowe Rob Lowe
@richeisen My people are saying Manning will retire today. What do you hear? #NFL
2 hours ago
»

RobLowe Rob Lowe
Hearing my fave, #18 Peyton Manning will not return to #NFL. Wow. #Colts

This comes as no surprise. I've been saying for months that Manning would never play again. The guy has had 3 neck surgeries. One awkward hit and he could become as worthless as Matt Ryan in the playoffs. Don't feel bad for ole Peyton. He got himself a ring and hundreds of millions in the bank. Now if brother Eli gets another ring I will feel kinda bad for Peyton. It would suck to know your little brother with much less talent won twice as many Super Bowls as yourself. Just ask Cooper.

Oh Shit Summer From OC Is Back...Straight Rapping Mofo's

Call Me Doctor with Rachel Bilson from Rachel Bilson

This is what I will never understand about our society. How does a talented, hot actress like Rachel Bilson struggle in Hollywood to get roles yet some idiot like Kim Kardashian is constantly on television? I mean I get why people are fascinated by Kim since she is a straight up whore, literally and figuratively, but you would think Bilson would be getting major roles in film these days. I mean shit... she fucking nailed the role of Summer in the OC and that's on par with Jordan hitting a fade away jumper over Craig Ehlo.

So with Tebowing Gone Is Gronking The New Fad?

Seriously all the cool kids are doing this now. If you aren't Gronking than you aren't shit!

Video via HotClicks

Is the Alabama LSU Krystal's Teabagging Incident a Jailable Offense?

A little late to the internet party here but Barstool Sports posted this video of some passed out LSU fan getting "teabagged" by an Alabama fan in the French Quarter's Krystal right after the BCS Championship and for some reason the people around him found it extremely funny. I don't get it. Personally I've never felt the need to pull my balls out and put it on some dude's face. But hey that's just me. How is the Alabama fan not in jail is my question? If this shit happened to a female you know damn well Bama coconuts would be behind bars right now. This whole video is just strange and uncomfortable. It's like watching a Woody Allen film. First off why do people eat at Krystals? You just won the National Championship and decide to go party at Krystal? I guess I just don't understand kids these days. Hookers and blow have been replaced by Teabagging strangers and Krystal burgers.

Seth Rogan Can't Hide His Appreciation For Kate Beckinsale

HT to Dave for the Golden Globes clip. Beckinsale is right up there with Salma Hayek, Christie Brinkley, Halle Berry and of course my wife. They all seem to get better looking with age. It's like enjoying a fine wine. I don't drink wine.

ESPN Ticker Plays Mean Game With Fired Coach Jim Caldwell

The Colts just fired head coach Jim Caldwell but according to ESPN he will return. You can always rely on ESPN with breaking OPPOSITE news.

Via Paulie Pabst

Notre Dame Announces Gunner Kiel As An Early Enrollee

On November 10th I posted about #1 prep QB Gunner Kiel enrolling at Notre Dame come January. At the time I completely trusted my "source" and ran with the story because he had never let me down before and had no reason to BS me. Well not until this morning did it appear it would actually come to fruition as Kiel was committed to LSU and ready to attend classes in Baton Rouge starting today. Throw in some "never say die" relentless recruiting from Brian Kelly and his staff and now it is official: Gunner is Irish.

Here is the official press release from Notre Dame...

NOTRE DAME, Ind. - The University of Notre Dame football team added four players to its roster Tuesday, head coach Brian Kelly announced.

The Irish added one transfer student and three early-enrollee freshmen to the football squad.

Running back Amir Carlisle (Santa Clara, Calif./Kings Academy/USC) transferred to Notre Dame after attending the first semester of his freshman year at the University of Southern California.

Defensive lineman Sheldon Day (Indianapolis, Ind./Warren Central), quarterback Gunner Kiel (Columbus, Ind./Columbus East) and defensive back Tee Shepard (Fresno, Calif./Washington Union) graduated from their respective high schools last December.

The four players signed their scholarship forms and were enrolled at the University Tuesday, the first day of the 2012 spring semester at Notre Dame.

Carlisle played in eight games for the Trojans in 2011. He totaled 19 rushes for 118 yards (6.2 yards per carry) and posted seven receptions for 41 yards with one touchdown. His best game for USC came at Colorado when Carlisle led the Trojans with 90 yards on 10 carries and caught two passes for 31 yards, including a 19-yard TD reception.

As a senior at Kings Academy, Carlisle was named a 2010 high school All-American by Parade and SuperPrep after gaining 2,110 rushing yards (averaged 10.0 yards per carry) and 28 TDs. He also caught 12 passes for 231 yards (19.3 average) with three TDs. In his high school career, Carlisle rushed for 5,108 yards (11.0 yards per carry) with 73 rushing TDs and posted 26 career 100-yard rushing games in 28 high school games.

"I'm really excited to be here at Notre Dame. I had great respect for the school and football program when I went through the recruiting process a year ago and I'm proud to be enrolled here. I know this will be a great fit for me and I can't wait to get started."

Day was a second-team selection on the SI.com High School All-America team. The Indianapolis Star Super Team Player of the Year for 2011 was also runner-up for 2011 Indiana Mr. Football award chosen by Indiana Football Coaches Association. Day made 55 tackles including 12 for loss, nine sacks, 12 quarterback pressures and recovered two fumbles as a senior. He helped Warren Central to 11-1 record in 2011, with the only loss occurring in the sectional final to eventual Indiana 5A champion Carmel.

"I'm excited to get here and get started on my classwork and to start the conditioning program with Coach (Paul) Longo," Day said. "I really liked meeting the guys during my recruiting process and I'm excited to start workouts with them this winter."

Many internet scouting services rated Kiel the top quarterback recruit in the nation this year. The 2011 Indiana Mr. Football passed for 2,517 yards and 28 TDs as a senior and rushed for 482 yards and 11 TDs. He helped lead Columbus East High School to the Indiana state 4A semifinals as a senior and was named the Gatorade Indiana Player of the Year. Kiel passed for 7,175 yards in his high school career.

"This recruitment process was a roller-coaster ride at times, but I know I have made the right decision for my family and me," Kiel said. "There were three critical elements I was looking for in my future school: the quality of education I would receive, the distance from home and the comfort level I would have with the players and coaches in the football program. Notre Dame was the perfect fit for me because it hit all three areas.

"Coach Kelly was great throughout my recruitment, as many times our conversations had nothing do with football. That really showed me he had my best intentions in mind. He was persistent yet also patient while recruiting me and I look forward to playing for him the next four years. I couldn't be happier to be a member of the Fighting Irish football team. I'm excited about the future of the program."

Shepard was rated the third-best cornerback in his class by Scout.com and the number-36 player nationally by MaxPreps and Tom Lemming. Shepard was forced to sit out his senior season after transferring from Central East High School in Fresno. He made 10 interceptions in his high school career and played in the Semper Fidelis All-American Bowl in Phoenix.

"I'm really happy to part of the Notre Dame football family," Shepard said. "This is a special place and I'm excited to finally be here. Getting a jump start on my training and in my classes can only help me for the future."

Obviously this is huge recruiting coup for Notre Dame. Kiel will get the chance to compete with Tommy Rees, Andrew Hendrix and Everett Golson in the spring for the #1 starter job (Golson should win the job from what I'm hearing) in what was clearly Notre Dame's biggest deficiency by position in 2011. Notre Dame led the nation in turnovers last year due to poor QB play especially in the red zone.

Getting a transfer from arch rival USC is also unheard of. RB Amir Carlisle will have to sit a year in 2012 due to NCAA transfer rules but will have 3 years of eligibility left in Notre Dame starting in 2013. With Cierre Wood the only proven tailback on scholarship stealing a Carlisle away from the Trojans is huge. It not only helps the Irish but it obviously hurts the Trojans who were very high on Carlisle and his running abilities.

Sheldon Day and Tee Shepard are both elite defensive players. Day will get a year to work with Longo in the weight room and is not really expected to contribute in 2012 with the amount of depth and talent Notre Dame has on the defensive line. Shepard on the other hand will get the chance to start right away. In fact he might be the most important recruit in this class. With Robert Blanton and Gary Gray both leaving for the NFL Shepard will have the opportunity to compete with Bennett Jackson and Lo Wood for a starting cornerback position. USC has been trying for months to keep Shepard in-state and he is the type of athlete that Notre Dame usually loses battles with especially when the Trojans want a guy in their own backyard.

Now Kelly will wait to hear if the Armstead brothers, Arik and Armond, will also be enrolling early. It appears to be down to an Auburn vs ND for their services. Armond is a transfer from USC who as a two year starter for the Trojans on their defensive line could not play last year due to some mysterious medical issue that their doctors would not grant him permission to play. He is eligible to play right away since he already graduated and has one year left of college eligibility left. Arik, a high school early graduate, appeared to be set on early enrolling at Cal until yesterday when defensive line coach Tosh Lupoi suddenly left to take a pay raise at Washington. By Thursday we should find out if the Armstead brothers will be joining Gunner at Notre Dame or playing in the SEC at Auburn.

The Ole Miss Basketball Team Has Short White Cox

Ole Miss has Steadman Short, LaDarius White, and Demarco Cox. You don't see too many of those on a basketball court besides Duke.

Picture via Deadspin

Courtney Upshaw's Acceptance Speech: English?

I've been listening to Alabama's Courtney Upshaw's acceptance speech for the defensive MVP honors at the BCS Championship about 20 times and I still can not decipher what the fuck he is saying. Is it some kind of strange Alabaman dialect that I've never heard? I think he says "take that thing fool" but I can't be sure. Either way I'm thinking the over/under for number of classes actually attended by Upshaw while in college is around 10. That might be generous. Saban has that "oh shit, take the mic away" look on his face when he realizes Upshaw is talking.

Friday Funbags: Tebowing Edition

Darren Rovell on WhoSay


Darren Rovell on WhoSay

And our favorite "Tebowing" pose which is NSFW.

THE TOO EARLY 2012 PRESEASON TOP 25

It's only been a couple of days since Bama blasted LSU and ended a somewhat boring 2011 college football season that was embroiled in more controversies than good stories. But it's time to turn the page and look at what 2012 brings. So here is the annual college football's way too early 2012 top 25.

1) Alabama-Yes they are losing Trent Richardson, Dont'a Hightower and Dre Kirkpatrick all early to the NFL draft but they still got 5 star players littered all over their roster ready to shine. QB AJ McCarron will be a Heisman favorite. The schedule is tough but manageable.

2) LSU-The Tigers were a good QB away from having one of the best teams ever in college football. If QB Zach Mettenberger steps up it will be hard to see LSU losing to anybody else not named Bama.

3)Oregon-The Ducks return QB Darron Thomas and the Black Mamba De'Anthony Thomas in what should be another high scoring Chip Kelly offense in Eugene. They will more than likely have to beat USC twice which probably won't happen in order to get to the BCS Championship.

4) USC-Talent wise it would be hard to find a better team in the country than the Trojans especially on the offensive side of the ball with QB Matt Barkley and WR's Robert Woods and Marquise Lee back. The problem with USC is their depth especially on the all-important lines. Any injuries up front could crush their PAC-12 hopes.

5) West Virginia-It's hard to ignore how impressive Geno Smith and the offense looked in the Orange Bowl vs Clemson. They beat the living shit out of the Tigers and pretty much everybody is coming back. The big question is who will they play next season? Right now they are in limbo waiting on a decision in court whether they can start playing in the Big 12 next year after leaving the Big East.

6) Oklahoma-The Sooners were a disappointment last year but I expect them to bounce back in a big way with QB Landry Jones coming back. The Sooners will put up a ton of points and with Texas and Okie State both questionable they should again be favored to win the Big 12. Bob Stoop's brother Mike should help the defense.

7) Michigan-The Wolverines made a deal with the devil and somehow won 11 games last year. With Shoelace back their "luck" should continue into 2012. The schedule is rough with Bama in Arlington and road games vs Notre Dame, Nebraska, and Ohio State but you can expect Shoelace to throw some duckfarts up and more than likely his prayers will be caught.

8) Arkansas-The Razorbacks get Alabama and LSU at home next year. Probably won't matter since right now they aren't in their discussion of elite teams. Knile Davis coming back from knee surgery should be huge. Who knows maybe they can upset Bama or LSU but right now I'm not betting on it.

9) TCU-The Horned Frogs are jumping up to big boy territory with their arrival to the Big 12 next year. Last season was considered a "down" year despite going 11-2 and beating Boise State and winning their last 8. Expectations are high and with nearly everybody back I think TCU has a legit shot at winning the conference.

10) Wisconsin-Montee Ball had nearly 2000 yards rushing and scored 39 TDs in 2011 but more importantly will be back. They got a lot of pieces to replace including QB Russell Wilson but you know head coach Bret Bielema will find somebody in the spring from the minor leagues.

11) Michigan State-Sparty has won 11 games each of the past two years and should have won the Big Ten title last year. I was never impressed by Kirk Cousins so losing him I don't think is that big of a deal. What is a big deal is their rough schedule. They got tough home games vs Boise State and Notre Dame in early September. If they can manage to win those two out of conference games then 2012 could be a magical season for Sparty.

12) South Carolina-Marcus Lattimore is the best RB in the country and with him coming back from a serious knee injury it should be a major boost for the Gamecocks. People tend to forget they won 11 games last year including a road win at UGA despite the QB turmoil with Stephen Garcia and losing Lattimore to the injury. The Ole Ball Coach will have them ready to compete for the SEC East. Clowney is going to be a menace for QBs all year.

13) Georgia-I know Georgia fans are going to kill me with this statement but so be it: UGA is an elite head coach away from being an elite program. Don't get me wrong Mark Richt has done a wonderful job in Athens but the Bulldawgs have been serious disappointments for the past 4 seasons in my opinion. Pretty much everybody is back of importance and I think freshman RB Keith Marshall will have an instant impact for UGA. The schedule again is very weak so don't be surprised to see UGA in the SEC Championship again.

14) Kansas State-Collin Klein had a breakout 2011 season and with tailback John Hubert and Chris Harper back they should put up a ton of points. Arthur Brown might be one of the best linebackers in the country and you know head coach Bill Snyder will have the Wildcats ready to compete for a tough Big 12 title next season.

15) Ohio State-It's time for Urban Meyer to work his magic in Columbus. They won't be eligible for the Big Ten title or a bowl game next season but it should be a good "exhibition" season for Meyer to install his spread offense with Braxton Miller at QB. Urban will have the Buckeyes competing for a BCS Bowl game in 2013.

16) Stanford-Obviously losing Andrew Luck is huge. You can't replace a Luck on your roster. But Stanford does have a stout defense coming back and the offense returns RB Stepfan Taylor who should have a big season. The only two losses I see on their schedule are USC and Oregon.

17) Nebraska-It's time for Nebraska to take the next step up under head coach Bo Pelini. Unfortunately they have a turnover machine in Taylor Martinez at the QB position. The Blackshirts defense returns 8 starters so maybe they will be the difference between another 9 win season and a double digit win season.

18) Virginia Tech-The Hokies defense should be sick next year. Logan Thomas is back at the QB position and with a relatively weak nonconference schedule it wouldn't shock me to see VATech competing for a BCS Championship game appearance in December.

19) Clemson-Tajh Boyd and Sammy Watkins should be fun to watch. The defense though was atrocious in the Orange Bowl. If Dabo can get himself a decent D then Clemson could be a top 10 team. Unfortunately they aren't even close to that right now.

20) Auburn-Auburn got a great D coordinator in Brian VanGorder and he could be the difference between last year's 8-5 record and a 10-12 win season in 2012. They still need to decide who the QB will be but talent wise Auburn can play with anybody in the SEC. Next year will be a good barometer of how good of a head coach Gene Chizik really is.

21) Boise State-Chris Petersen knows what he is doing. Again I repeat Petersen knows what he is doing. A lot of pundits think the Broncos will fall off the face of the earth now that Kellen Moore is gone. It won't happen. Petersen got plenty of playing time for his underclassmen last year in the second half of ballgames in which Boise destroyed teams. They won't compete for a title but they will still be a top 25 team easily.

22) FSU-It seems every year the Seminoles are overrated but I think 22 is a good spot for them. They have a good defense with most of their starters back but the question is can their offense get back to being halfway decent? EJ Manuel will get another chance to prove his 5 star ranking out of high school wasn't a misnomer.

23) Oklahoma State-No doubt it's going to be tough replacing Brandon Weeden and Justin Blackmon and 3 offensive line starters for an offense that put up record numbers in 2011. The Fiesta Bowl champions need to develop a good defense in order to compete every year for a top 10 finish.

24) Texas-I'm not overly impressed by their offense but their defense was the best last year in the Big 12. They have a shitload of talent at the tailback position so if they can just pick a QB out and go with him they could be a top 10 team. Problem is Mack Brown is too complacent with his roster and needs to get the Longhorns hungry again.

25) Arkansas State-I just felt like putting a wildcard team in here. With Gus Malzahn as their head coach and Michael Dyer at tailback the Red Wolves could go undefeated. Seriously.

Just missed-Rutgers, Notre Dame, Georgia Tech, Penn State, Southern Miss