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ADIOS AMIGOS

I hope all of you degenerates have a very safe and disease free weekend. It's going to be hot as fuck so be sure to drink plenty of beer to stay dehydrated. I leave you with another highlight of the Orioles season. This one comes courtesy of pitcher Jake Arrieta. He seems to be right on target which is unfortunate for Carl Crawford...

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE ORIOLES SEASON

If you have been wondering why haven't written much about the Orioles this season it is because they suck so bad it's not even worth mentioning. The Orioles have only won 30 games all season thanks to a horrible lineup that has been minus 2B Brian Roberts all season and one in which the Switch hitting Jesus known as Matt Wieters has looked like he has been nailed to the cross since leaving the minors. The pitching has been awful. Brian Matusz, Jake Arrieta, and Chris Tillman were suppose to be the next great cavalry of starting pitchers and all of them have struggled in the rough AL East. The season has been so bad that I am actually shocked when the Orioles are winning. At any point in the game.

Anyways, they haven't been worth mentioning until yesterday. Ty Wigginton helped his trade stock by going ape shit on the umpire and for good reason. The runner was clearly out. Pitching coach Rich Kranitz was ejected shortly after for arguing with the blues and then interim manager Juan Samuel went ballistic on the home umpire. Finally. They look like they actually care. Granted the Orioles still got shut out by Tom Selleck...I mean Carl Pavano, but they showed some heart out there and the crowd fed off it.

Unfortunately nothing is going to change the losing culture in Camden Yards until Peter Angelos sells the team. Angelos is no Steinbrenner. He's cheap. He's a piece of shit lawyer. And he pockets most of his money (granted he does give to charity). The losing will continue until he either gives up on life (and then they will probably go to his sons) or he decides to sell the team to someone who actually wants to invest in the product on the field. The team sucks in so many ways it's hard to just point out one thing. The scouting is awful. They need a lot more scouts who actually know what they are doing. The international signings are almost nonexistent. They need to bump up their presence in the Latin Countries like Dominican Republic and Venezuela. They also need to develop their minor league talent....badly. They also need to expand the payroll to around $120 million. The fans will come if you put a decent product on the field. Baltimore used to sell out every game when they rolling in the 90's. Now nobody will buy a ticket because the product on the field is shit.

Sell the team Angelos and the fans will come.

NOTRE DAME'S MICHAEL FLOYD AND MIKE RAGONE VS. FAST PITCH SOFTBALL

Honestly I don't know how many of those pitches I could hit either. And I play baseball. Poorly I may add. Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd is a hell of a player on the football field but I don't think he would be able to hit the Mendoza line in little league baseball. His swing is absolutely brutal. It's like he has club feet or some other deformity. Notre Dame tight end Mike Ragone definitely looked more natural out there with the bat. He took one opposite field which is pretty impressive. It's always embarrassing to get shown up by a female but in this case I think it can be forgiven. She was throwing darts.

Video HT: Ragone

Slive to Kiffin... kind of

Am I the only one who caught SEC Commissioner, Mike Slive's comments (seemingly) regarding Lame Kiffin? Check out ESPN's Chris Low and his SEC Blog regarding what Slive had to say on Day 1 of the SEC Media Days.

HOOVER, Ala. -- It took SEC commissioner Mike Slive less than five minutes to take a back-handed jab at former Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin on Wednesday.

It’s no secret in SEC circles that Slive was glad to see Kiffin leave the conference and bolt for Southern California, especially given the way Kiffin ran through secondary violations and kept it stirred up in the league.

In his opening comments to kick off the SEC media days, Slive welcomed the three new coaches to the league. And though he never mentioned Lane Kiffin by name, Slive did make reference to Dooley’s “predecessor leaving to return to his western roots.”

“I want to welcome Derek Dooley, and when I say welcome, I mean welcome,” said Slive, who drew a course of laughter from the media members in the main ballroom.

Unlike Slive, I personally will miss the chance to see you try and try again, yet fail repeatedly in the SEC. I do wish Derek Dooley success, but seeing a Dooley in anything other than Red and Black seems simply absurd!

A WEDDING TOAST THAT WILL MAKE YOU PUKE

I don't blame her. I started getting a little dizzy and nauseous just listening to this guy explain love. This guy has obviously seem one too many romantic comedies. I love the fact she tried to hold it in. Nothing is worse than holding in your own vomit.

Video via BarStoolSports

THIS IS ME IN 20 YEARS

Granted I will have less hair and won't look like Will Ferrell in Zoolander. But the enthusiasm is contagious. Love the tongue action too.

Video HT: Felix

UGA NOW BEING INVESTIGATED BY NCAA, RENNIE CURRAN NOT HELPING

The NCAA infraction committee is treating the SEC Media Days like they are Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday. They are sick and tired of putting up with the bull shit it seems. The bull shit being inscrupulous agents who suck on the blood of the finest players in college football.

Yesterday it was confirmed that the NCAA will now send investigators to Athens to "inquire" about certain football players attending the same agent party in Miami that has already gotten Alabama's Marcel Dareus ruled ineligible for the 2010 season because of his attendance. The rumors have been swirling that wide receiver A.J. Green is one of the players in question. I hope this isn't true only because it would be another All-American I would have to take off my preseason team. Green has come out and flat out denied he has ever been to Miami.

Green, Georgia’s top pro prospect, has said that he was asked by a Georgia official on Tuesday if he attended the agent’s party in Miami and that he said no.

He reiterated this morning that he has “never” been to Miami.

“I’m not even focused on that,” Green said of the tumult about the NCAA probe. “I’m just focused on getting ready for the season.”

Asked if he is worried about what might come of the investigation, Green said simply: “No.”

Asked if it is a hassle, he said: “Not really. Just random stuff, but it’s not a hassle.”

With the NCAA snooping around the campus of Georgia it would probably be wise for both current players and past players to keep their opinions to themselves until the investigation is over. Unfortunately for Georgia and their fans one of their former players, LB Rennie Curran, decided to go on Twitter yesterday and let off some steam in regards to the NCAA.

Via Rennie Curran's (LiberianDream35) Twitter account...

when there are video games being made of you, your jerseys getting sold, your family is struggling n you don't even get a dime except pell
about 16 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Can't believe how hard the ncaa is trying to crack down on college athletes. How can expect someone not to look to outside sources.
about 16 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Oh no. If you are a Georgia fan this is not what you want to hear right now. Curran has every right in this nation to open up his mouth and voice his feelings but he should have probably waited to say "how can expect someone not to look to outside sources." This would imply the current Nashville Titan's LB had either received improper benefits while in school or knew of teammates who did. This will not help the investigation.

Listen, I would be a fool to sit here and say players don't receive improper benefits. Of course they do. They are football players and the schools use them to generate hundreds of millions in revenue every year. There is bound to be someone getting money here or there on the side. It's just the way it works. And it happens everywhere. Not just USC. Not just SEC schools. Everywhere. Yes, including schools like Notre Dame and Duke. There are too many outside forces for schools to regulate every player. But what they can do is inquire and not look the other way like USC did with Reggie Bush.

So hopefully with this whole NCAA investigation into this Miami party we learn that none of these players will be suspended because of A)Marvin Austin, Dareus, and Green are all on my preseason All-American team and I don't want to go to the hassle of taking them off and B)dude, it's a fucking party. Get over it.

After all I thought the whole reason to go to college was for the parties.

Image via Al.com

NICK SABAN NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE PIMP COMMENTS

Pimps ain't going to put up with no foosball coach bull shit. Now make me some pancakes bitch!

Image via EDSBS

WATER SLIDE FAIL

Seriously why the fuck do people do this? The point of a water slide is to land in water right? Last time I went I'm pretty positive they had water at the end of the slide. Seeing how poorly this idea was to go down the slide clearly indicates these guys could be top scouts for the Baltimore Orioles. Hell, they could even be director of operations if they fuck up enough.

ALABAMA DL MARCEL DAREUS DECLARED INELIGIBLE IN 2010 OVER AGENT TRIP

The defending National Champions learned today that one of their star lineman has been ruled ineligible for the 2010 season due to a party he attended in Miami which he was hosted by a NFL agent. Star defensive end and future NFL first rounder Marcel Dareus has a lot of questions to answer to the NCAA and until he does it he will not be eligible to play according to the Tuscaloosa News.

University of Alabama defensive end Marcell Dareus has been declared ineligible and is believed to be the only UA player who attended a party in Miami hosted by a sports agent, a source close to the situation told The Tuscaloosa News.

UA will petition immediately for the reinstatement of Dareus' eligibility. The NCAA will make the ultimate ruling on when, or if, Dareus will be reinstated. It is standard procedure for a player to be declared ineligible immediately whenever a question of whether the player violated NCAA rules arises.

UA is conducting an investigation into whether Dareus paid his own expenses for the
trip, and whether the circumstances of the trip constitute an NCAA violation. Under NCAA rules, student-athletes are not permitted to accept cash or anything of value from sports agents or their representatives.

Between the recent NCAA hammering of USC with the Reggie Bush scandal and the investigation into North Carolina's Marvin Austin and South Carolina's Weslye Saunders attending the same party as Dareus it is clear that the NCAA wants to eliminate these rogue agents who pay football players before they declare for the draft. NCAA rules state you can not accept gifts or money of any kind from sports agents as a student-athlete or you will be ruled ineligible. The players know the rules so it's not completely the agent's fault for breaking the rules.

What the NCAA and the NFL need to do is start identifying these NFL agents who violate the rules and give them suspensions from representing any future clients for at least 1-3 years. I think this would help curtail some of these ongoing issues with agents ruining a player's eligibility.

Losing Dareus would be a huge blow for the Crimson Tide. Coming off a team leading 6.5 sacks last year, the rising junior is expected to be a top NFL draft pick if he does come out early. He was the defensive MVP of the BCS National Championship game as he took an interception to the house last year....


He also was responsible for taking Colt McCoy out of the game with this hit...


The Tide have depth but Dareus is one of those guys no team can simply replace. He is fast, big, and extremely athletic for a man his size (6'4 306 lbs) and creates havoc in Bama's 3-4 defense.

Of course head coach Nick Saban is about to go postal with the thoughts of losing his star defensive player. He compared these roguesports agents to pimps today at the SEC Media Day.

“How are they (agents) any better than a pimp?” Saban asked.

Not sure I see the relation but okay. I would love to see Saban go ape shit on some agent who gets near his practice field. Until then we can only pray more football players don't make the mistake of taking money. Chances of that happening are not good.


Picture via Getty Images

LB CHRIS MARTIN TRANSFERS AGAIN...THIS TIME TO FLORIDA

In yet another chapter in "The Curious Case of Prep LB Chris Martin" saga comes today's news that he has again decided to transfer. This time he will leave Cal-Berkeley after only two weeks on campus to go play for the anxiety riddled Urban Meyer and the Florida Gators. This should get even more interesting.

A day after he notified the University of California about his intent to transfer, former Grandview High School linebacker Chris Martin announced Wednesday he will be heading to the University of Florida.

Cal coach Jeff Tedford announced the transfer decision of the 6-foot-5, 245-pound linebacker on Monday, saying he supported the choice of Scout.com's top-ranked outside linebacker who had more than 100 tackles, 11 sacks and five forced fumbles in 2009 for Grandview.

A day later, Martin made his choice of Florida public on his facebook page, saying: "I would like to thank everyone who has been supportive of me through my crazy mental episodes. A special thank you to my mother and father who have supported me no matter what. I love you both. God has granted me a second chance. A chance I cannot mess up. With that said. Go Gators. Thank You to everyone and all the coaches who showed their interest in me."

In the past 6 months Martin has gone from Notre Dame (verbal commitment non binding) to enrolling at Cal to now transferring to Florida. In high school he transferred from his original Oakland California high school after three seasons to the Hunn School in New Jersey for his senior season only to transfer shortly after to another high school in Aurora, Colorado where he graduated but surely would have transferred again if given the option (a joke but not really). So in the space of a year he has transferred or changed his mind on schools 5 times.

Sounds like Martin is of stable mind. 18 year old kids can be known to change their minds as often as they change girlfriends but the Martin case is puzzling. It sounds like the kid has no idea what he wants. He may have all the talent in the world (#1 rated outside linebacker) and any school would love to have him on their roster but I'm not sure his flakiness is worth dealing with. You have to wonder if he will even stick in Gainesville.

I have my doubts.

Picture via ESPN

Should Larry Retire?

You have to give Chipper all of the props in the world. He's been amazing for the Bravos and for baseball in general. One of the last players from the era of loyalty in baseball, he's a man who has publicly admitted he would retire before becoming an embarrassment to his team. Granted, he has been injury plagued over the last couple of seasons, but this guy goes out everyday, plays as hard as he can, demonstrates leadership in the clubhouse, demonstrates generosity in his community, and has been embraced as the face of the Braves for over a decade.

The former overall number 1 draft pick (as a shortstop believe it or not) has put together a 1st ballot Hall of Fame career. Personally, I feel he's too valuable in the clubhouse to retire, for nothing more than providing the veteran leadership that he's seemingly provided since his rookie season, he's vital to our team and our city, but at some point and some point soon the role that he will play has to be evaluated.


The Braves have an uber prospect in Freddie Freeman who was a consensus top 25 overall prospect in the minor leagues last year and who is on a tear in AAA right now, not to mention the kid is currently 20 years. Wren can also presumably resign the 4 time All Star and former World Series MVP 3rd baseman Troy Glaus for much cheaper than getting a "big name" (no offense Troy) free agent and actually have him play his natural position. Just an interesting fact, like Chipper, Troy was drafted as a SS, look it up, a 6'6 shortstop at UCLA.

As I've said before, I have to give Wren kudos right now, he's made some risky deals and has proven to be smarter than I am, but considering this is my post, it's my opinion. Personally, I think Chipper should stay on throughout his contract, if nothing more than to be a mentor to Heyward, Freeman, Prado, and some of the other younger Braves. He's more valuable here than in retirement. The guy still has baseball in him. When he's healthy, he's still a monster, and when he's not, his clubhouse presence is truly invaluable on a team that is already (supposedly) losing Bobby Cox and the newly acquired, but still amazing Billy Wagner to retirement. Let's face it, the Brave's need Chipper and Chipper loves the Braves. My prediction, Chipper stays, Freeman gets called up this year and Glaus starts playing some 3rd base as Chipper needs the rest. Freeman has less pressure to perform, Chipper plays when healthy, and Glaus is still the man for the Braves. I don't know about you guys, but I do live in a perfect world so this is going to happen! What are your thoughts?

USC DOESN'T WANT REGGIE BUSH'S HEISMAN TROPHY, SENDS IT BACK

From the USAToday comes the memo from USC president-elect Max Nikias to the "USC Trojan Family" in regards to Reggie Bush's Heisman Trophy...

The Trojan family honors and respects the USC sporting careers of those persons whose actions did not compromise their athletic program or the opportunities of future USC student-athletes. Accordingly, I have instructed the senior vice president for administration to remove athletic jerseys and murals displayed in recognition of O.J. Mayo and Reggie Bush by mid-August -- before the incoming class of students moves on campus -- from Heritage Hall, the Galen Center and the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. The university also will return Mr. Bush's 2005 Heisman Trophy to the Heisman Trophy Trust in August.

Damn, even O.J. killed some people and yet he still got to hold onto his Heisman. The point is don't take money from agents while in school. Now after school you can go ahead and kill whomever you like. Even your ex-wife if you so choose. Just don't take money.

Lesson learned.

So I guess now Vince Young gets the Heisman? Someone contact Vince pronto. Just go to some night club and look for a sweaty tall black dude with no shirt on. Chances are good it's VY.

NBC ANNOUNCER PAT HADEN REPLACING MIKE GARRETT AS USC ATHLETIC DIRECTOR

No wonder USC has dominated Notre Dame for the past decade. The whole time they had a fucking Trojan lackey in the booth covering the Fighting Irish for NBC. Bill Dwyre of the LA Times is reporting that former NBC announcer and former USC quarterback Pat Haden will replace the controversial Mike Garrett as athletic director starting August 3rd. A formal announcement is expected later from new president Max Nikias.

Well it's about fucking time. Garrett has been running a loose ship and if anybody can bring some respectability back to USC then it's none other than Mr. Combover himself. Listen, I don't have a problem with Haden as a person. I've met him on the Notre Dame campus a few times. Nice guy and very personable and talkative. The guy is a Rhodes Scholar. He has brains. But I have no idea why he was ever hired to do commentary for Notre Dame football games. He has been on USC's board of trustees for years and he helped lead the Trojans to a come from behind 55-24 victory over Notre Dame in 1974 (despite ND having a 24-0 lead at one point).

Why Notre Dame and NBC ever let him do the commentary will always puzzle me. It would be like Steve Spurrier doing commentary for all the Georgia Bulldogs games. It would be fucking bizarre right?

Anyways good luck to Haden and dealing with the brat Lane Kiffin. I give Kiffin 3-4 years max in Los Angeles. The NCAA is coming down hard on renegade players and the programs who let them run wild. Now that Haden is gone maybe NBC can hire O.J. Simpson to do commentary. Oh wait. Never mind.

Actually they should go ahead and fire Tom Hammond while they are at it. Get somebody with some excitement in there. I'm thinking Gus Johnson would be perfect. Check it out...


Picture via LA Times

SKATEBOARD SAFETY VIDEO

Helmets and pads work great until you have a 250 pound bear of a reporter barreling down on you in the half pipe. I feel for the kid. It's not often you get Roethlisbergered while skate boarding. Years of therapy should help.

Video HT: Extra Mustard

My bad...

I owe a huge apology to anyone I have ever bragged about Yunel Escobar to and everyone I have tried to defend Escobar's skills as a player, adamantly saying that trading the young shortstop would be an awful idea. Admittedly, Yunel's last (half) year with the Bravos has been hard to swallow, but I strongly disagreed with getting rid of him, repeatedly saying his offense is just in a slump. All I can say now is thank you Frank Wren for yet another brilliant deal that no one expected and everyone is reaping the rewards.

Who would've thought that Escobar was really Hanley Ramirez's disciple? Considering Escy's one of the most talented young shortstops, scratch that, players in the game and has been steadily improving every year, who would've thought the Brave's would've pulled a Jeff Francouer and abandoned another one of our young "future face's of the Braves". Then again, who could've predicted just how selfish Escobar would play and how much of a cancer he could seemingly be inside an otherwise unbelievable club house. Bobby didn't deserve that sort of behavior during his (possible, yes, only possible) last year. Kudos to Frank Wren for doing what was necessary to not lose anything on a trade that sent someone who proved they weren't happy with being in the Brave's clubhouse away, and for once, GAINED talent in a trade.

Nothing against JoJo Reyes, the guy is uber talented and has several plus pitches, but his major league stats are almost as bad as Charlie Morton. There was no foreseeable place for Reyes within the pitching staff, especially with the likes of Tim Hudson, Tommy Hanson, Jair Jurrjens, Kris Medlen, and Derek Lowe. The future is looking bright with three very young pitchers who are dominating A and AA, not to mention the "controversial" draft pick in Mike Minor who in 3 games started at Gwinnett this year is 3-0 with a 1.93 ERA and 20 ks in 18 innings. The kid who came over in the Escobar deal, Tim Collins, already has a save in 3 games and 5 ks with 1 BB and 0 hits.

Back to Escobar, the "slump" that I was so adamant about seems a bit self imposed. Way to hit two bombs, one of them a grand slam, and actually play baseball again. It's amazing how Escy came out to talk about how he's given his all for the Braves, including this year, and he's going to "continue" to be the player that he has been his entire career now that he's with the Blue Jays... yeah... I hope the door did hit him on his way out of the clubhouse. Maybe it hit him in the head and he remembered he's Yunel Escobar and not Alex Rodriguez or Albert Pujols. Way to give it your all buddy... I hope Heyward learns a lesson from the trades of Francouer and Escobar. Wren isn't putting up with half hearted play and childish temper tantrums any longer. It's about time the "baby Braves" grew up and played in their big boy pants and Frank Wren is becoming the daddy these children needed.

On a much better note, welcome to the Bravos Alex Gonzalez and kudos Frank Wren. Now it's time for another championship for Bobby! GO BRAVOS!!!

FLORIDA GATOR MAURKICE POUNCEY GOT PAID $100K WHILE PLAYING

Former Florida Gator not only embarrassed himself on draft day by making out with his twin brother on national television but was already taking money from an agent before the Gators played in the Sugar Bowl.

Florida and NCAA officials are investigating a potential rules violation that allegedly occurred last December involving former Gators football standout Maurkice Pouncey, sources said.

Florida is internally investigating what sources described as an allegation that a representative of an agent paid Pouncey $100,000 between the Gators' loss to Alabama in the Southeastern Conference championship game to Alabama and their season-ending Sugar Bowl victory over Cincinnati. Florida apprised the NCAA of the allegation after it became aware of it.

It sounds like the worst that could come from this is Florida vacating the Sugar Bowl win over Cincinnati if in fact he took the money after the SEC Championship. Urban Meyer will have a lot of questions to answer on this and I'm sure he will deflect all of it to Tim Tebow's outstanding character. Urban will now be upping his anti-anxiety medication.

This kind of shit happens all the time especially with a football factory like Florida. Agents are garbage and it wouldn't shock me to hear if another school somehow orchestrated it. Of course Pouncey is an idiot if he took the money but then again he was in a double wide for his NFL draft party so we all should have seen this guy wasn't exactly the smartest jock on the Gator's football team.

I would think not much is going to happen with this in the long run unless Florida pulls a Trojan and tries to deny, deny, and again deny anything improper happened with Pouncey and the agent. After seeing what has happened to USC it would be prudent for Florida to report everything they know to the NCAA.

THEY SHOULD PUT THIS ON "GLEE"

If this was on that horrible show on FOX then just maybe...big maybe...I would watch it. I hate musicals but I like funny. Pretty simple.

50 DAYS TILL COLLEGE FOOTBALL KICKOFF

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