I gotta hand it to Jimmy Kimmel. He got Scarlett Johansson, Minka Kelly, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, and Sofia Vergara to hump the shit out of an exercise ball. Bravo Jimmy. The Humpilates craze is going to sweep this nation in no time.
If you aren't familiar with the ownership group of the Atlanta Spirit then you are one of the lucky ones. The Atlanta Spitir is a group of douchebags who own the Atlanta Hawks, Thrashers, and Philips Arena. Here is some video for reference:
As you can see they would rather piss on themselves then put out a good product. They bitch and moan about fans not showing up but if they actually tried to put a quality product on the ice in case of the Thrashers people will show up. The one season when the Thrashers made the playoffs they averaged over 17,000 in attendance. The problem is they have only had one playoff season in over 12 years of existence. The Atlanta Spirit has been trying to sell the Thrashers since 2005. They are a group of idiots who have no fucking clue what they are doing. Thankfully all could be saved if Arthur Blank, Ted Turner, or some other rich dude came in and bought them out.
Well those prayers might be answered according to the AJC.com...
There are two prospective investment groups inquiring about purchasing the Hawks, Thrashers and Philips Arena, according to several people familiar with the situation. Both groups plan to keep the Thrashers in Atlanta.
A deal is not close in either case as proper paperwork has not been filed to begin serious negotiations. However, at least one group has met with the officials from the NBA and the NHL.
With the group that has met with league officials, including the NHL on Thursday, there is one main investor with others in the group, some of whom are from Atlanta. The group is not only interested in purchasing the three properties but there is a “development element” to the deal, possibly involving the area around the arena.
The Hawks, Thrashers and Philips Arena, owned by the Atlanta Spirit, have been for sale and groups have expressed interest in buying the Thrashers and moving them to another city. Canadian cities Winnipeg, Quebec and Hamilton have long been rumored to be a possible destination.
Atlanta Spirit co-owner Michael Gearon Jr. recently told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that there is a “sense of urgency” to find a buyer or additional investors to keep the Thrashers in Atlanta.
According to those familiar with the situation, it would take at least a month to complete due diligence on a proposal and at least another month to complete negotiations.
The two interested parties do not include Atlanta native Stephen Rollins, who has publicly stated a desire for his multi-city investment group to purchase the Thrashers. That group is said to still be interested but a formal bid has not been made at this point.
This is yet another game used Notre Dame football jersey we got in from Steiner Sports. This is from the 2008 season and it was worn by Kyle Rudolph. It has some heavy scuff marks around the collar on the front and you can tell Rudolph went to war with this jersey in Notre Dame Stadium. This is his home navy jersey from his freshman season. There is only one available so it's first come first serve. This is your chance to own a piece of Notre Dame history. Rudolph is projected to be the top tight end taken in this year's NFL Draft.
Kyle Rudolph Game Used Notre Dame Home Jersey
I watched the MLB Network last night reveal their top 50 prospects in the game and was surprised by some of the rankings. First off I was almost positive Bryce Harper would be #1. How could he not be? The kid tore it up at junior college ball when he should have still been in high school and he played above and beyond in the Arizona Fall League. He should be the #1 prospect but what the hell do I know? Last year the #1 prospect was some guy named Jason Heyward. He lost the ROY to Buster Posey who was ranked #4. The #10 guy was Madison Bumgarner who won huge games for the Giants in the playoffs. If you are in the top 10 of this list the chances are you could be making an impact at the Major League level this year. So here is the list with some quick thoughts on the player.
1. Mike Trout, Angels-Trout wasn't even a top 50 prospect (#85) last year but after a stellar 2010 the future corner outfielder is a speedy, get on-base guy with a little bit of pop in his bat. Not a big guy but he reminds me of a white version of Rickey Henderson.
2. Jeremy Hellickson, Rays-The Rays will look to replace Garza with Hellickson. Similar makeup to Greg Maddux.
3. Bryce Harper, Nationals-He's on the 40 man roster but won't make the team out of camp. He could get a late season call-up for the struggling Nationals to sell some tickets.
4. Domonic Brown, Phillies-Kind of overrated in my opinion. The heir apparent to Jayson Werth.
5. Dustin Ackley, Mariners-Struggled in his first minor league season out of college but tore it up in the Arizona Fall League. Should be up in the majors soon.
6. Aroldis Chapman, Reds-The Cuban Missile throws 105 mph. Already up with the big league team he should be a future closer.
7. Mike Moustakas, Royals-The first of many Royals on this list, Moustakas hopefully will become the next George Brett and not the next Alex Gordon.
8. Eric Hosmer, Royals-I think he should be a top 5 prospect. Hosmer is going to be a superstar. Reminds me of Joey Votto.
9. Jesus Montero, Yankees-Extremely overrated catcher and of course he is put in the top 10 because he is in the Yankees organization. Terrible arm, decent bat.
10. Julio Teheran, Braves-Drawing comparisons to Pedro Martinez because of his size and his lively arm. Has a chance to grab the #5 spot in the rotations with a great spring.
11. Desmond Jennings, Rays-Do or die time for Jennings. A lot of hype but has yet to impress at the big league level. Carl Crawford's replacement.
12. Kyle Drabek, Blue Jays-Great minor league numbers but has yet to show anything in the majors. Could develop over time.
13. Michael Pineda, Mariners-Big, strong righty who can bring it.
14. Mike Montgomery, Royals-The top lefty prospect in the game, Montgomery has a plus fastball and curve to go along with a good change.
15. Jacob Turner, Tigers-The Tigers have found another great young starter in Turner. He should be up by 2012.
16. Wil Myers, Royals-He's the best hitting catcher in the minors in my opinion. Could be switched to outfield and be up in KC by the end of this season.
17. Freddie Freeman, Braves-He's been handed the 1st base job for the Bravos. Has a chance to shine after slugging a massive HR off Roy Halladay during his brief call-up last season.
18. Jameson Taillon, Pirates-Josh Beckett-like stuff with more control. Jameson will be a future ace.
19. Zach Britton, Orioles-Draws some comparisons to former Orioles farmhand Erik Bedard. He has great off speed stuff that creates a lot of groundballs. Has a chance to make the Orioles rotation by 2012.
20. Shelby Miller, Cardinals-Has great stuff he just needs to improve his control.
21. Mike Minor, Braves-Will be the #5 starter for the Braves this year. Doesn't have great stuff but he gets outs and knows how to pitch.
22. Casey Kelly, Padres-A solid righty obtained in the Adrian Gonzalez deal, he should start in AA in his third season as a pitcher after moving from shortstop.
23. Martin Perez, Rangers-Just 19 years old, he struggled last season but this lefty has a mid 90's fastball with a devastating curve.
24. Manny Machado, Orioles-The #1 shortstop prospect should probably be rated a little higher. Think more future Tulo than A-Rod.
25. Chris Sale, White Sox-Already a reliever with the big league club, the White Sox should give him a shot for their rotation this season.
26. Brandon Belt, Giants-Absolutely tore it up last year on three levels and is the future 1b for the Giants.
27. Matt Moore, Rays-Another southpaw in the Rays organization who led all of the minor leagues last year in K's. He should start in AA this season.
28. Brett Lawrie, Blue Jays-A tad overrated in my opinion he was acquired in the Shaun Marcum trade. Should start in AAA this season.
29. Jarrod Parker, D-backs-Still rebounding from Tommy John surgery he will probably be in AA to start with a fast promotion to possible the bigs if he produces.
30. Jonathan Singleton, Phillies-
31. Jordan Lyles, Astros |
32. Gary Sanchez, Yankees |
33. Tyler Matzek, Rockies-I really wish the Orioles would have drafted this kid in 2009 instead of Matt Hobgood. Has some issues with command but he is a lefty who is a strikeout machine.
34. John Lamb, Royals |
35. Manny Banuelos, Yankees |
36. Lonnie Chisenhall, Indians |
37. Jake Odorizzi, Royals |
38. Nick Franklin, Mariners |
39. Aaron Hicks, Twins |
40. Kyle Gibson, Twins |
41. Wilin Rosario, Rockies |
42. Jose Iglesias, Red Sox |
43. Tanner Scheppers, Rangers |
44. Dee Gordon, Dodgers |
45. Devin Mesoraco, Reds |
46. Brett Jackson, Cubs |
47. Chris Archer, Rays |
48. J.P. Arencibia, Blue Jays |
49. Yonder Alonso, Reds-Trade bait for the Reds since Alonso is blocked by Joey Votto.
50. Christian Friedrich, Rockies |
Kate Upton is the newest SI Swimsuit "it" girl. And by "it" I mean she has a really great pair of ankles. Damn those ankles are fucking hot. 
UTEP head coach Tim Floyd went ape shit last night at East Carolina and had to literally be pushed off the court and separated from arguing with the referees by the cops. Now that is some serious Jerry Springer shit if I have ever seen it. I was just waiting for a Floyd's midget cousin to run out and start doing karate kicks. Then you know Steve from security would pick both of them up and drag them off the court while the other cousin who is a little overweight but has big tits somehow has the puppies pop out and screams obsenities while the crowd goes nuts. Come to think of it I kind of miss Springer.
Apparently when it rains in St. Louis it also pours. Albert Pujols and Adam Wainwright have both delivered lightning bolts for the Cardinals and today starter Chris Carpenter offered up this little doozy...
"It's not up to me," said Carpenter. "If the Cardinals wanted to trade me, obviously I would go. There's no question about that. I'm not going hold back or veto or do anything like that if they're looking to move me.
"I'm not concerned about it, though. I'm concerned about getting myself ready to pitch at the beginning of the season."
Dude I use to jam Bel Biv Devoe every fucking day when I was in middle school. Just hearing them rock out "Poison" with The Roots on the Late Show with Jimmy Fallon brings back a ton of memories. "Never trust a big butt and a smile" still pops up in my head when I come up to bat in baseball. "Poison" use to be my relaxing music I would play before my baseball games to get me ready. It was a strange combination of Guns N Roses, The Doors, and Bel Biv Devoe before all my games. Literally when I would rip a double I would be singing in my head "that ball is poison" just to fuck around with the lyrics.
Anyways it's great to see the trio still has the flow going. They sound damn good. The dance moves aren't as crisp (my buddies Jason and Jaime could nail them, me not so much) but the sound and rhythm is definitely still there. I would pay to see these guys tour again.
Video via Extra Mustard
Monmouth College quarterback Alex Tanney saw UCONN's Johnny Mac with the amazing trick shot video a couple of weeks ago. He decided to make his own. You be the judge. Who has the better trick shot video?
If you have Showtime you owe it to yourself to watch "Shameless" because actress Emmy Rossum is basically butt naked in every other episode. The show is good too and the chances are it will make you laugh at the Gallagher family because of the toxicity of the family and their relationships. But Rossum is the star and if you enjoy nudity (seriously who doesn't?) then I definitely recommend putting "Shameless" on your DVR or on your Netflix when season 1 ends.
By the way what in the hell happened to HBO? Granted they had "Boardwalk Empire" this past year which was incredible but they have really struggled to put out good shows while Showtime is just killing it. "Big Love" is awful. "Entourage" is old news. "Curb Your Enthusiasm" comes on once every five years. Meantime Showtime puts out hits like "Californication" and "Dexter" and "Nurse Jackie" and even "Episodes" with Matt LeBlanc had hilarious writing.
Come on HBO. Step it up.
Anyways enjoy these very NSFW clips of Rossum in "Shameless"...
Emmy Rossum Topless Pool Scene in Shameless
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emmy-rossum-shameless-sexy-clip
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Emmy Rossum Shameless Love Scene
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Blake Griffin messed around and nearly got a triple-double last night in a homecoming of sorts in Oklahoma City. Unfortunately for him the rest of his team kind of sucks (Baron Davis still has some game left in him) and Kevin Durant led a blowout for the Thunder. The Clippers aren't going to make the playoffs but one could argue The Blake Show has been the most exciting thing to watch in the NBA this season. The Clippers should just go balls to the wall and try to sign Chris Paul and Dwight Howard in 2012. It's time for the Clippers to stop being the shit on the bottom of the NBA's massive shoes. Be the cock for once. With that being so eloquently put Paul will probably go join Melo and Amare in New York and Howard will sign with the other LA team.
Spring Training hasn't even technically started their games and already the St. Louis Cardinals have been dealt with two huge blows to the ribs. Or in this case elbow. Cardinal's ace Adam Wainwright has a "significant injury" to his right pitching elbow according to general manager John Mozeliak. The injury happened Monday during a bullpen session and it looks like there is a significant tear in the ligament which means Wainwright, who finished 2nd place for the Cy Young last season with a 20-11 record and a 2.42 ERA, would need Tommy John surgery and be lost for the season if not more.
This is yet another crushing blow to the Cardinals organization. Just last week they found out Albert Pujols would not be resigning before the season started and could lose the future Hall of Famer in free agency after this season. With the cloud already lingering over the organization with the failure to secure a contract for the best player in the game they might have just lost the best pitcher in the National League in Wainwright (with all due respect to Doc Halladay). Not to mention one of their rivals in the Milwaukee Brewers made significant improvements with the additions of starters Zack Greinke and Shaun Marcum to go along with Yovani Gallardo and Randy Wolf in the starting rotation and it is clear that the Cardinals will finish no better than third in the NL Central this season. Division champ Cincinnati is the favorite and the Cubs have a good chance to be much improved with the additions of Matt Garza and Carlos Pena.
So where do the Cardinals go from here? They still have Chris Carpenter as their other ace but we all know his injury issues. They are going to have to rely on Jaime Garcia repeating his stellar rookie numbers and newcomer Jake Westbrook catching some of that Dave Duncan magic to compete in the Central. The season isn't over by any means but it became a hell of a lot harder to see the Cardinals competing for a playoff berth in 2011 without Wainwright.
You know when you get that sick feeling in your stomach? Like somebody just hit you in the balls and you can feel the pain getting worse and worse. This is how I felt when I saw Freddie Freeman and Jason Heyward on this week's Sports Illustrated cover. Two young Atlanta Braves sluggers with their whole future ahead of them. A deadly duo who at just 21 years of age could be the building blocks of future pennants gracing the Turner Field walls. But now I don't feel good because I know all about the SI cover jinx. It's notorious for knocking down hyped phenoms. All Braves fans remember Jeff Francoeur and his infamous "The Natural" cover 6 years ago. Yeah that didn't turn out so well for the last Brave who was considered the hometown hero. I still have fresh memories of last year's Spring Training coverboy in Matt Wieters. 
"The Perfect Catch" eh? I guess if you consider a .319 OBA and a slugging percentage of .377 as Mauer-like but I most certainly do not. Listen I love the hype that these kids get. It just scares the shit out of me when it's somebody on the team I root for. Instantly the guy has a target on his back and unless his name is Michael Jordan they usually don't live up to the enormous hype. I mean fuck SI, why couldn't you put Albert Pujols or the Phillies starting rotation on there? Those are more interesting spring training stories. Jinx them. Not us.
To read more on the SI cover story go to Jeff Schultz piece in the AJC.com
I just got this in from Steiner Sports who is the exclusive memorabilia dealer for game used Notre Dame jerseys. It's a game worn Kyle Rudolph road jersey from his freshman season in 2008. During his freshman season Rudolph was the first ever tight end to start the season opener and went on to set freshman receiving records while hauling in 29 receptions for 340 yards and 2 touchdowns while starting all 13 games. This is a chance to own a piece of Notre Dame history. Rudolph is expected to be the top NFL tight end pick in the upcoming April NFL Draft.
KYLE RUDOLPH GAME USED NOTRE DAME WHITE JERSEY-2008
You gotta hand it to Andy Roddick. While his wife Brooklyn Decker in on the road promoting her movie with her huge cans and no doubt getting plowed by every A-list actor out there in Hollywood he is making amazing diving tennis shots for a ATP championship in Memphis. The actual chances of their marriage surviving past 2 more years in fading faster than Roddick's hairline.
Video via ExtraMustard
Atlanta Braves GM Frank Wren must be living near a meth house if he honestly doesn't think defense is a concern for his ballclub after last year's disastrous performance in the field. Stop breathing in those fumes asshole. Defense is extremely important when it comes to playing winning baseball. Maybe not as important as pitching but it's right up there. Here is what Wren had to say about the defense. And remember last year the Braves committed 126 errors (1 off the league high) and now have a second baseman in Dan Uggla who has the most errors for a 2bagger for the past two seasons. And oh yeah Chipper ain't exactly Brooksie over at the hot corner with his bum knees.
“At the end of the day, I don’t think errors contribute a great deal to losses,” Braves general manager Frank Wren said. “I mean, that [126 errors] is still less than an error a game. And it depends on when the errors happens. With nobody on, you boot a ground ball and then you get a double play, it’s an error. But all errors aren’t created equal.
“I think that’s much overblown. When you put together your team, it’s the full contribution of players. What they do, whether it’s running the bases, or offensively, there’s lots of other things that guys can do, which add to your ballclub.”
Well played. The guy kind of deserved it right? I mean you don't leave yourself open to that burn especially if you got a small pecker.
According to Zach Dillard over at redandblack.com Georgia starting quarterback Aaron Murray has broken his ankle in two places.
Update: Official word on the injury is set to be released by Georgia later today after Murray is checked out by the team’s medical staff.
Georgia starting quarterback Aaron Murray has suffered an ankle injury, though the severity of the injury has not been officially announced yet.
Team sources say Murray’s right ankle is broken in two places, but associate athletic director Claude Felton was not available to confirm or deny the report.
Team sources say that Murray broke the ankle participating in an activity with teammates and friends on Saturday afternoon. Murray was rushed to team doctors after suffering the injury.
Murray was seen using crutches around campus Monday.
Murray was a candidate for SEC freshman of the year after an excellent showing in his first year at the helm of the Bulldogs’ offense. He accumulated 3,049 passing yards and 24 touchdowns in the regular season, while throwing just six interceptions.
He is slated to be the starter at quarterback again next season.
If the ankle is broken, it would likely hold Murray out of all of spring practice, creating another setback for a program looking to bounce back from a disappointing 6-7 season.
It's been 20 years now but I still remember this absolute bullshit play from the 1991 World Series. Minnesota Twin's first baseman Kent Hrbek pulled the ultimate dick move and literally carried Atlanta Braves outfielder Ron Gant off the bag at first base like he was Ric Flair. It was a garbage play and of course with the Braves luck the umpire called out Gant. Fucking shit it still pisses me off. Not as bad as the Jeffrey Mayer call but it's a close second. Well just to prove how big of a dick the whole state of Minnesota is the Twins are coming out with the Hrbek-Gant bobblehead giveaway this season to commerate it. I'm not even shittin ya. A bobblehead to display a play which cheated their way to a 4-3 series win. Fuck you Minnesota! Fuck you!
By the way the bobblehead sucks. Hrbek isn't nearly fat enough and there is no way Roberto Kelly was pulled off the bag. Oh that's suppose to be Ron Gant? Could have fooled me assholes!
This is for all the Lebron cock gobblers out there. While Lebron was messing around and getting a triple double Kobe was throwing down dunks and hitting threes and winning the MVP while leading his team to another victory. Kobe>Lebron? You be the judge.
This was the 2011 Dunk Contest winner's first dunk of the night. It was also Blake Griffin's best dunk. The over the car dunk was cool but I don't think the difficulty was as high as this one. Watching it in slow motion is a thing of beauty.
The most impressive dunk of the night and the guy who probably could have won it if it didn't come down to fan voting was Washington's JaVale McGee with this double dunk...
Unfuckinbelievable. The 2011 Dunk Contest was the best ever in my opinion. The first round was insane with all 4 contestants nailing poster perfect dunks. Check out this legit behind the free throw line dunk from Air Congo Serge Ibaka...
...and he finished last. The NBA put on a great show Saturday night. Nobody got killed which is always a plus.
Blake Griffin is the most exciting player to watch since Lebron James made his debut straight out of high school. I would argue Griffin is bringing back nonchalant fans like myself who haven't really paid too much attention to the NBA since some guy named Michael Jordan was winning rings in Chicago. The video above is from Deadspin and it chronicles every single one of his 140 dunks so far in the NBA.
Oh by the way the rumor is for tomorrow's slam dunk contest in Los Angeles Griffin will be jumping over...get this...a Bentley. With a major celebrity of some sort throwing the pass from inside the car and out the sunroof. If this happens it will be the greatest YouTube dunk in the history of YouTube dunks.
Stan Musial missed a season in his prime in order to suck cock in the Navy? Talk about sucking it up and taking one for your country. Stan the Man is a true American hero.
Video via Hot Clicks
I fucking knew Nick Saban was up to his old tricks. Disgraceful.
I can't help but laugh at Gene Chizik going ape shit. Sorry Auburn fans but this is hilarious.
Detroit Tigers first baseman apparently likes the booze a little too much. Cabrera was arrested last night for DUI after registering a staggering 0.26 BAC (.08 is the legal limit) with a bottle of James Buchanan Scotch in his car. The bottle wasn't just sitting there in the backseat when the officer approached Cabrera. He was fucking swigging from it! The officer then told Cabrera to follow his orders and Miggy responded in classic athlete style:" Do you know who I am, you don't know anything about my problems!"
This is Cabrera's second arrest due to alcohol problems. In 2009 he was arrested after getting in a fight with his wife when he was shitfaced smack dab in the middle of the season. Come on Cabrera. Everybody knows you get drunk during the offseason. It's ballplayer 101. Spring Training just started and you get caught doing a Tony Larussa? No doubt his punishment will be Jim Leyland cigarette burns to his forearms.
The Tigers don't need any more distractions from Cabrera. In fact they might want to just unload his alcohol problems on the Atlanta Braves. I'm thinking a Brooks Conrad and Kenshin Kawakami gets it done. Maybe throw in some Maker's Mark and a Pontiac to sweeten the honey pot for Detroit. Sounds fair to me.
One of the great things about college football that separates it from the NFL is the traditions each school has. Whether it be Howard's Rock at Clemson or Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame or The Grove at Ole Miss each one of those certain traditions is dear and very prideful for the alums and fans of those certain schools. It's the traditions that help identify the school and is passed on from generation to generation. Unfortunately some Bammer asshole named "Al from Dadeville" has poisoned and will eventually kill one of Auburn's best traditions: Toomer's Corner.
Toomer's Corner are the majestic live oaks at the intersection of Magnolia and College streets in Auburn, AL. The oaks are over 130 years old and they mark the transition from downtown Auburn to the university campus. They were named after Toomer's Drug Store which has been a landmark for the town. It has become a tradition to roll the massive oaks after a big win for Auburn. Most recently the trees were rolled when Auburn won the BCS National Championship in January. Unfortunately those trees are now poisoned by one deranged fan.
"Al from Dadeville" called into the Paul Finebaum show and laid claim to poisoning the trees with a large quantity of Spike 80DF (tebuthiuron) on January 27th. "Al" who is no doubt deranged claimed he did it in retaliation for the posting of pictures showing Auburn fans rolling Toomer's Corner after the death of Alabama's iconic coach Bear Bryant in 1983 as well as photos of Cam Newton's #2 jersey placed on the Bear Bryant statue during the 2010 season. Auburn officials immediately tested the soil at Toomer's Corner and did find lethal doses of Spike 80DF. Yesterday it was confirmed the oaks could not be saved. They are slowly dying and eventually the tradition that is Toomer's Corner will go with it.
As a college football fan this should really piss you off even if you are not a fan of Auburn. I honestly could not imagine a Trojans fan going to Notre Dame and defacing Touchdown Jesus or torching the grotto. What if a Florida fan went to Sanford Stadium and poisoned UGA and the shrubs? Could you imagine how infuriated you would become if this happened? Rivalries are great for college football but when a fan like "Al" takes it to a poisoning and killing live things level then it has just gone way too far.
This morning "Al from Dadeville" was arrested. His name is Harvey Almorn Updyke, Jr. and you would think this was probably some idiot teenager who did it. Wrong. Harvey is an unemployed 62 year old man. He is being charged with a Class C felony of criminal mischief and if convicted he could serve 1-10 years in prison. A 62 year old man? What a fucking loser.
Harvey has stolen the future memories of the many generations of Auburn fans who would have rolled Toomer's Corner in celebration. In a way he has taken away the identity of the university. Those memories of Toomer's Corner will be gone with the next generation. It's unfortunate a 62 year old redneck like Harvey can poison and destroy those memories. Hopefully with all traditions such as Toomer's Corner something can be done to resuscitate it. Auburn can't let Toomer's Corner disappear because of a Bammer. It must be replaced. Auburn Nation is hurting right now and hopefully the fans and alumni take the high road and don't try to retaliate. Don't be like Harvey. Let the team take out their frustrations at the next Iron Bowl. It's what Toomer's Corner would have wanted.
Yesterday we had the pictures of Brooklyn Decker and today we have the actual video of her. Isn't it crazy to see her in moving form? It's almost like she is real. I got to say she looks a hell of a lot better on the beach then she does in my cellar with electric tape over her mouth. It's amazing how unsexy a sex slave can look these days. They don't make them like they used to.
I've gotten a few shout outs from some SportsCrack heads out there about this unbelievable goal from Wayne Rooney. Not too shabby coming from a bloody Limey such as Rooney. Apparently it was the game winner vs. Manchester City. Awesome. Now wake me up when the World Cup starts.
Those dickheads at CBS have pulled all the original footage of Serene Branson mucking up her live Grammy report from YouTube so we are left with the one and only "Serene Branson Remix Video." The Shebot was trying to communicate to us and clearly her batteries were dying. Fucking Duracells.
Video via WarmingGlow
I posted these pictures because I need the traffic and I was starting to feel bad for Brooklyn Decker. The girl is obviously hurting for publicity right now.
For more photos go to SI.com
As you probably know Albert Pujols will be a free agent after the 2011 season. He is the greatest right handed hitter of the past 50 years. Maybe ever. And yes he deserves a shitload of money. But would he really leave the only franchise he has ever played for and a city that absolutely loves him for more money from say the Chicago Cubs?
I hope not.
First and foremost I have no horse in this race. I'm not a St. Louis Cardinals fan. I'm a baseball fan. I have paid money on numerous occasions just to see Pujols play in Turner Field. I love the way he plays the game and I honestly think he is underrated in a way. People still talk about Bonds or A-Rod as being the best player of their generation. Negative. Pujols is by far the best player in baseball. No questions asked. But would the best player in the game pull a Lebron James and ditch the city and fans who have given him nothing but love and admiration for most of his career?
Yes.
Pujols supposedly wants a 10-year deal worth $300 million. He is currently 31 years old so he is already technically past his prime. With PEDs gone from the game (except in Canada) you can no longer expect an aging slugger to hit 40 plus homers in a season in their 35-40 age years like Pujols did in his mid 20's. So is Pujols worth $300 million realistically? Absolutely not. But I do believe he is worth $30 million a season right now. Especially to the Cardinals and their franchise.
Personally I don't want to see Pujols pull a Lebron and ditch St. Louis. I like seeing great players start and finish their careers in one city. The Cardinals are owned by the Busch family. I'm sure they can afford to give Albert what he wants. But Albert and his agent need to be realistic. If he did get a $300 million dollar deal from St. Louis or any team minus the Yankees and Red Sox it would seriously cripple the team's ability to compete by affording other players on the roster. Pujols is a team player from what I have seen. He plays hurt and he has carried a lineup with little protection throughout his entire career in the arch city. But if he really wants this massive deal and is willing to leave St. Louis because they won't give it to him then he is as big of a dick as Lebron.
The solution to all of this is a 5-year deal for $150 million. It's fair for both sides. Pujols deserves $30 million a season and St. Louis should give it to him. But he doesn't deserve anything past 5 years in my opinion. He won't be crushing the ball as much and he will lose significant bat speed by his mid 30's. It's not up for discussion because it's a fact of life. Whether or not Albert is willing to take such a deal is up for discussion. And if he isn't then I would be disappointed because all along it was just about the money.
In a way it would make him worse than Lebron. We will find out by noon tomorrow either way since Pujols set a deadline to make a deal done before shutting it down till after the season. If you thought Cleveland was bad with fans burning Lebron jerseys after he decided to leave for sunny Miami you can only imagine the carnage that would be left behind if Pujols left to sign for the Cubs.
What's it going to be Pujols? Hero or villain? The baseball world awaits.
Honestly I don't think I've opened a Swimsuit issue for at least a decade. Shit it might be since high school. I mean what is the point? Since the internet has come around and porn is free I don't get why people want to look at models in swimsuits. But with that ringing endorsement here is 25-year old Russian model Irina Shayk on the cover of SI. She is currently dating soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo. Good for her. If the modeling thing doesn't work out for her then she can always fall back on Ronaldo's money. I mean look at what happened to last year's cover model in Brooklyn Decker. She fell off the face of the planet soon after the cover hit newstands. In fact I'm pretty sure she is blowing dudes for meth as I type this.
With that thought in the back of your head take a look at these Irina videos....
Charlie Sheen sounds like a guy's guy. He hates AA. I hate AA. He loves blow. I do blow. He smacks around women. I...wait a fucking second. Ok maybe we aren't just alike. I would love to see Sheen recover and get the help he needs. I mean it must totally suck to be such a mess that your everyday activities including sex with porn stars, drugs, alcohol, and making a shitload of money. Poor guy. I sure hope he recovers and finds his higher power.
Oh and by the way if you haven't listened to the Dan Patrick Show you can't call yourself a human being much less a sports fan. Patrick's show is funny as shit and his quick wit makes it easy listening. Plus the guy has made a bigger name for himself since he left the 4 letter network. You can listen to his show at DanPatrick.com. I know it may be hard for some of you drunks to remember so I will say it again. Listen to DanPatrick.com. He is your higher power.
Yeah that's not one of those text messages you want to be exchanging with your Mom.
Check out more at FUAUTOCORRECT.com
This is why Atlanta gets a bad rap as a sports town. Former Atlanta Falcon and puppy killer Michael Vick is still a piece of shit but because he can throw a ball far and run real fast idiots still want to dish out money for his autograph. I love how the lady starts crying. Bitch Michael Vick doesn't give two shits about you. If you were a dog he would piss on you and electrocute you. I also love the guy who tries to rationalize Vick's behavior that landed him in jail. Yep, child rapists and murderers get less jail time than Vick. Yeah that makes a lot of fucking sense. I honestly can't even fathom how big of a fucking loser you have to be to stand in line and pay $119 for Vick's autograph. Also you could tell how much Vick was enjoying meeting his fans. Look at that huge smile on his face. Yes sir he is the people's champion if I have ever seen one.
You may remember Yankees Super fan Michael LaPayower from last season when he did that brilliant Katy Perry remix-style Yankees song. I'm disappointed Michael. First off the choice in music. The "Rocky" theme belongs to the city of Philadelphia. So already you are telling me you are a closet Phillies fan. Second we need to hear more of your voice. It speaks for a generation of Yankees fans out there. You represent them. Show some fucking pride for Jeter and A-Rod and get their numbers tattooed on the small of your back. That's what true Yankees fans do. It's okay though. Spring Training is just starting. I expect you to be in top condition come April though. More videos to show your love for the Yankees. Make my job easier.
Here is the brilliant Yankees Land video from 2010. How this didn't win a Grammy I will never know.
Next time Serene you might want to stop eating the peanut butter sandwiches before you go on-air. Be a little more professional will ya!
Apparently she had a small stroke. I'm calling bull shit. She fucked up with her one chance of reporting a live story. I don't feel bad for Serene. With the dawn of the YouTube era she is going to be more famous than Katie Kouric by next week. Book it!
Speaking of Grammy Awards, why do so many people give a rat's ass about it? Last night it was a bitching fest on Facebook about how so and so didn't win and this person sucked and blah blah. Dude it's fucking music. No respectful musician gives a shit about a Grammy. Milli fucking Vanilli won a Grammy.
In conclusion: award shows are stupid and the people who follow them are probably the same idiots who attend church because they think it will send them to heaven. God bless all of you but I really know all of you are going to hell. Sweet dreams.
Video via BarStoolSports
Denver Nuggets superstar and Baltimore native Carmelo Anthony has put his customized 1971 Chevy Chevelle up for auction on Ebay. If you are a Baltimore Orioles fan you will love the customized features Carmelo did as a tribute to his hometown. It's got the full current Bird logo on the front hood and it has the old cartoon style bird from the 70's/early 80's near the back left quarter panel. With a just day left in the auction the current bid stands at $18,500. The proceeds from the auction sale go to the Carmelo Anthony fund to get his ass out of Denver.
The Ole Ball Coach picked up his most highly sought after recruit since he arrived at South Carolina today when the #1 recruit in the nation, defensive end Jadeveon Clowney, picked the Cocks over Clemson and Alabama. Clowney is a certifiable man-child at 6'5 but will still need to put on some weight at the collegiate level. Currently he is 245 and even with his speed most offensive tackles in the SEC wouldn't have a problem blocking him out. If he adds the muscle between now and the fall then you could see him make a Jevon Kearse-like impact. The kid is a freak and is a huge get for a South Carolina program that continues to trend upwards. The Cocks should be the favorite to win the SEC East again in 2011.
UPDATE: As we have been informed by Lorie it looks like Clowney will need to pull a lot of strings to get academically qualified for the 2011 season. Basically his grades blow. He should fit in well with the SEC then.
Buster is right. The Orioles have a Yankees-type lineup. Here is how their lineup will look opening day barring no major injuries in spring training:
1. Brian Roberts (2b)
2. Nick Markakis (RF)
3. Derrek Lee (1B)
4. Vlad Guerrero (DH)
5. Luke Scott (LF)
6. Mark Reynolds (3B)
7. Adam Jones (CF)
8. Matt Wieters (C)
9. JJ Hardy (SS)
You can't argue the O's lineup has the ability to put a lot of runs on the board this season. Unlike the Yankees the Orioles aren't relying on mostly older players on the wrong side of their 30's to produce. Guys like Markakis, Reynolds, Jonesy, and Wieters could all have huge seasons with the veteran additions of Lee and Vlad for protection. With a healthy Roberts in the leadoff spot and a consistent OBP season from Markakis the two vets in Lee and Vlad will have plenty of chances to drive in runs. I would rate this lineup second only to the Red Sox in the AL East.
The pitching is what could be their downfall. The bullpen should be solid but the starters are mostly young guns who have yet to prove themselves. If they can get Brian Matusz and Jake Arrieta to pitch to their hype coming out of the minor league system then the O's could make a solid run for the Wild Card.
You have to think the Rays, Blue Jays, and Yankees all took serious steps back this offseason. The Rays lost Carl Crawford, Carlos Pena, Jason Bartlett, Matt Garza, and the majority of their bullpen. Those are not replaceable parts. The Yankees didn't sign Cliff Lee and besides C.C. Sabathia their starting rotation is questionable at best. Plus they are not getting any younger. The Blue Jays traded away Vernon Wells and Shawn Marcum.
Here is my early AL East Prediction Finish:
1. Boston Red Sox-best team in the majors
2. Baltimore Orioles-most improved team in the majors, wins Wild Card
3. New York Yankees-age is catching up with them
4. Tampa Bay Rays-lost too many key pieces from last season
5. Toronto Blue Jays-young team that could contend in 2012
WWTDD have the pics of Jersey Shore's JWoww leaving little to the imagination last night at some fashion show with a see through dress. Just like we all knew before: Jersey girls are nothing but class. Any by class I mean whores. Dirty ones.
Seriously how do you keep a straight face? Every time the reporter says Harry Baals with his lisp I start giggling like a little girl.
Via ExtraMustard
There is lesson to be learned here. Never start fighting words with a stocky dude covered in tattoos with a handlebar beard and a tacky Ed Hardy/Affliction shirt on. There is a pretty good chance you will be tasting your nose for the next 2-3 months.
ESPN's Draft dipshit Todd McShay released his latest NFL Draft 2011 mock draft yesterday and surprisingly he didn't have Jake Locker going #1. I say surprisingly because McShay had Locker's cock firmly in grip within the back of his throat for the past two seasons. I guess now he has seen what most of college football already knew: Locker is more average than great. Here is a look at his first round with some random thoughts from me.
1. Carolina Panthers
Record: 2-14
Da'Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson*
My take: Makes sense with none of the quarterbacks this year being close to sure things. Bowers is a Julius Peppers clone and should start right away.
2. Denver Broncos
Record: 4-12
Nick Fairley, DT, Auburn*
My take: Fairley is either going to be a great NFL player or a complete bust. He came out of nowhere to dominate last season. The Broncos need help in the trenches so the pick makes sense but I don't think anybody should expect Fairley to be the next Suh.
3. Buffalo Bills
Record: 4-12
Von Miller, OLB, Texas AM
My take: This makes perfect sense for the Bills. Draft a late first round guy like Miller at the #3 overall slot. Fucking Canadians.
4. Cincinnati Bengals
Record: 4-12
A.J. Green, WR, Georgia*
My take: Green is the best wide receiver to come out since Calvin Johnson. With Carson Palmer gone though they might take Blaine Gabbert here.
5. Arizona Cardinals
Record: 5-11
Blaine Gabbert, QB, Missouri
My take: I don't really see the fascination with Gabbert but what the fuck do I know. The Cardinals desperately need a QB and Gabbert appears to be the clear front runner in a rather pedestrian QB class.
6. Cleveland Browns
Record: 5-11
Marcell Dareus, DT, Alabama*
My take: I think Dareus is going to be a good pro. I could see him making the Pro Bowl a few times.
7. San Francisco 49ers
Record: 6-10
Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU*
My take: If Peterson lasts this long I would be shocked. He might be the best talent in this draft regardless of position. This pick would be similar to when they got Patrick Willis or the Ravens got Ray Lewis. There is no reason they should drop out of the top 5 and Peterson is one of those guys.
8. Tennessee Titans
Record: 6-10
Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska
My take: Personally I think Prince is overrated. I've seen him get torched too many times in college to not think he will be anything special in the NFL.
9. Dallas Cowboys
Record: 6-10
J.J. Watt, DE, Wisconsin*
My take: Watt is good but I would rather have Ryan Kerrigan. Rumors are floating the Cowboys might trade Dez Bryant so don't be shocked if they move up or down from this spot.
10. Washington Redskins
Record: 6-10
Cam Newton, QB, Auburn*
My take: Like Fairley I think Cam is either going to be a stud or a bust. If I'm the Redskins I'm willing to take the chance here on Cam. You might catch lightning in a bottle.
11. Houston Texans
Record: 6-10
Jimmy Smith, CB, Colorado
My take: Who?
12. Minnesota Vikings
Record:6-10
Robert Quinn, DE, North Carolina*
My take: I love this pick. I think Quinn would be great working on the opposite side of Jared Allen.
13. Detroit Lions
Record: 6-10
Nate Solder, OT, Colorado
My take: How does Colorado have two first round guys yet still suck balls? It might be a good idea to protect Stafford.
14. St. Louis Rams
Record: 7-9
Julio Jones, WR, Alabama*
My take: Wide receivers drafted in the first round have the greatest bust ratio. Julio could keep that tradition going but he is worth the risk for the Rams since their receivers are terrible.
15. Miami Dolphins
Record: 7-9
Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama*
My take: Ingram is a solid back but don't the Dolphins already have Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams?
16. Jacksonville Jaguars
Record: 8-8
Adrian Clayborn, DE, Iowa
My take: Had a disappointing senior season but has the potential to be a star in the NFL.
17. New England Patriots (from Oakland)
Record: 14-2
Cameron Jordan, DE, California
My take: I think the Patriots go RB here especially if Mark Ingram is available.
18. San Diego Chargers
Record: 9-7
Aldon Smith, DE/OLB, Missouri*
My take: Not really familiar with Smith so I can't say much.
19. New York Giants
Record: 10-6
Tyron Smith, OT, USC*
My take: Giants need offensive line help so this pick makes sense.
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Record: 10-6
Ryan Kerrigan, DE, Purdue*
My take: Besides Peterson this might be the steal of the draft. Kerrigan is a top 10 player in my opinion.
21. Kansas City Chiefs
Record: 10-6
Akeem Ayers, OLB, UCLA*
My take: Ayers is a very good player and was the lone bright spot on UCLA last season. I like this pick.
22. Indianapolis Colts
Record: 10-6
Anthony Castonzo, OT, Boston College
My take: Big guy who didn't impress when I saw him live.
23. Philadelphia Eagles
Record: 10-6
Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin
My take: Meh.
24. New Orleans Saints
Record: 11-5
Justin Houston, OLB, Georgia*
My take: A lot of potential here in Houston for the Saints. Personally I would like to see him dip to the Falcons.
25. Seattle Seahawks
Record: 7-9
Jake Locker, QB, Washington
My take: Pete Carroll can't be this stupid? Right? Anyone?
26. Baltimore Ravens
Record: 12-4
Randall Cobb, WR, Kentucky*
My take: I like Cobb but I think if they take a receiver they go local and take Torrey Smith out of Maryland. Cobb is a bigger play guy though. With that being said the Ravens will probably draft a defensive player.
27. Atlanta Falcons
Record: 13-3
Mike Pouncey, C/G, Florida
My take: If he is as good as his twin I have no problem with this pick. The Falcons need defensive help though so I would love to see them get somebody for the front 7 here.
28. New England Patriots
Record: 14-2
Dan Watkins, G, Baylor
My take: No fucking clue.
29. Chicago Bears
Record: 11-5
Corey Liuget, DT, Illinois*
My take: Great pick. Liuget is going to be a good one for the Bears.
30. New York Jets
Record: 11-5
Phil Taylor, NT, Baylor
My take: I don't see the Jets taking Taylor this high.
31. Pittsburgh Steelers
Record: 12-4
Benjamin Ijalana, OT, Villanova
My take: Never seen him play.
32. Green Bay Packers
Record: 12-4
Muhammad Wilkerson, DE, Temple*
My take: Same as above.
Isn't it comforting to know while you sit and pick your nose at your shitty fucking job the Giant's Pat Burrell is out banging skanks? While many of us are planning on what kind of flowers and dinner we need to line up for Valentine's Day just so we can hopefully get some action that night Burrell is running fucking trains while wearing a gimp outfit with hotties left and right. The jealousy scale just shattered after seeing these pics over at BarStoolSports. This is probably just another boring Monday for Burrell. In case you were wondering Barry Zito is taking the pictures in between bong shots and blow jobs. It's a tough life ya know.
Images via BarStoolSports
I guess the FCC doesn't want you to know how the Aluminum can was conceived. I'm a little disappointed this wasn't shown. What exactly is wrong with can and bottle sex? Is the FCC trying to tell us it only promotes can on can or bottle on bottle sex?
What a bunch of conservative a-holes!
This is straight up bukkake if I have ever fucking seen bukkake right here. Two of the NFL's biggest stars in Ray Lewis and Drew Bress just blowing their Pepsi Max over everybody. It's gross and I can't believe a major corporation like Pepsi and the NFL would allow shit like this. No wonder they can't come to terms on a collective bargaining agreement. They are too busy blowing their shit all over the face of the league to realize it. Now go sit in timeout NFL and get back to us when you are ready to behave yourself.
Frathouse Sports has broken the story of college basketball's player of the year Jimmer Fredette has himself a girlfriend. Yeah shocker right? Her name is Whitney Wonnacott (seriously that is her last name) and she is a BYU cheerleader. It's crazy to think the star basketball player would be dating the hot cheerleader because I mean that kind of shit never happens. Honestly I could careless about who Jimmer Fredette is dating. If the guy doesn't make in the NBA I'm sure he could do just fine with the ladies. Hell the guy has an acting career ahead of him. Don't tell me he couldn't land the lead role in "Social Network 2."
You can check out more pictures of Jimmer and Whitney at Frathouse Sports if you are into checking out that kind of shit.
Now this is one Hebrew honey worth fighting a war over. While we are sitting in our offices or at home freezing our asses off Leonardo is straight crushing this on the beach.
For all intended purposes Villanova should have won at Rutgers last night. Watch the last two minutes of the game and you tell me how in the holy hell did Rutgers pull this out?
For some of the gamblers out there who had Nova on the moneyline last night you got royally fucked. I'm one of them. There is no fucking way you can blow a 5 point lead with less than 12 seconds left on the clock without there being some kind of fix in. Now whether it was set up by the Nova players or the referees I can't definitively answer. It could be both. First off Nova starts turning over the ball. A lot. Second off how was the last second three-pointer a foul? Did he fart on him or something because the Nova defender sure as hell didn't touch him. I've looked at the replay about 10 times and I can't see any contact. This makes me think the men in stripes had money on Rutgers. The line was -8 in favor of Nova so it couldn't have meant the refs had dough on the line. But if you had money on the moneyline for Rutgers to straight out win it paid over 7-to-1. Yep. The refs wanted Rutgers to win. This game has Tim Donaghy shit stains all over it.
Tiger is still out there just nestling up with 17-year-olds in their bed like it's no big deal. The guy is a fucking animal. Mark Sanchez has nothing on Tiger.
It's time to stop racism and start ricism. Go ahead and drop some beef in some pink tacos while making her sour cream....
Tequila taco night just gave me an epic boner. All those calories and beef and cheese. Fuck yeah! And Patron? Sign me the fuck up! These guys need a Food Network show pronto.
Did we do it again? Yes we did! Here is our newest creation which was sent in to us by Mark Menendez. We call it the "FredetteAboutIt 32" shirt. It's got the classic Godfather script on the front. We should have them in available early next week so order yours today before they are sold out.
FredetteAboutIt 32 Shirt for sale
We didn't do a mailbag last week due to the underwhelming amount of questions we received so let's try this again. Send us your questions, thoughts and comments and we'll do answers on Tuesday. Thanks CrackHeadz!
mcpeters@sportscrack.com
matt@sportscrack.com
Whoever thought that must be crazy. Take the latest example of a player winning an arbitration hearing. Ross Ohlendorf had a spectacular 1 win and 11 loss season, yet won an arbitration hearing against the Pirates to get a raise from $439k to $2.025 million. That's just comical. What makes it more interesting is the Ohlendorf sports a career 4.40 ERA with 13 wins compared to 25 losses. I'm not sure what kind of person Ohlendorf is and he may be a saint, but when does that type of resume support an annual salary of $2.025 million?
It's not like the Pirates aren't hurting as a franchise as is. I have a wonderful idea, someone take "Big Ben's salary and give it to the Pirates to help build a team and bring some sort of winning back to the Pirates. Pittsburgh is in desperate need of some good news right now and this has to feel like someone is throwing knives at the Pirates as they are spinning on a wheel like a cheap carnival act. I understand taking care of players, but receiving over a $1 million for a 1 win season is ludicrous. Maybe I should head up the arbitration committee and the NCAA hearings process.
Thanks to ESPN and the AP for reporting this craziness!
North Carolina (+10.5) at Duke
This year is no different in ACC Basketball as UNC and Duke are the two best teams in the conference. Both teams have one loss in conference and whoever wins this game will more than likely win the regular season conference title. UNC is starting to come into their own. Harrison Barnes has been shining after struggling the first two months of the season. Look for Barnes to have a big game. Duke has been led by PG Nolan Smith who leads the ACC in points and assists. He would be the first player in ACC history to accomplish the feat. In what should be a classic game look for a high scoring affair that could come down to a last second shot. I like North Carolina as the heavy underdogs against their archrivals. Also a Moneyline bet on UNC to flat out win pays out 5.5-to-1 so you might want to go with the upset here.
Prediction: Duke 85 North Carolina 82
Louisville at Notre Dame (-4.5)
Holy shit can you believe Notre Dame is up to #7 in the country? Not too bad for a team who didn't receive a single vote in the preseason top 25 poll. Mike Brey's squad is 14-0 at the Joyce Center. Louisville is 3-3 on the road but one of those wins came at UCONN. You know head coach Rick Pitino will have the Cardinals ready for this game but I just can't see Notre Dame behind the stellar play of guard Ben Hansbrough losing this one on their home court.
Prediction: Notre Dame 74 Louisville 66
MONEYLINE PARLAY OF THE NIGHT: Take Texas, BYU, and Wisconsin all to win on the road. The payout is nearly 2-to-1 in games that SHOULD be all blowouts.
