SPORTSCRACK TOP 10

Above image courtesy of HOTSECPOON.COM

1. FLORIDA GATORS-Urban Meyer's troops are getting stronger along with their defense. In handling Vandy 27-3 last week they move just a step closer to their 3rd National Title in 4 seasons.

2. TEXAS LONGHORNS-I'm convinced now that Texas is going undefeated till their bowl game which will be the BCS Championship. Colt McCoy passed for a career record of 470 yards while his roommate Jordan Shipley set a Texas record with 273 yards receiving.

3. ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE-BAMA won the SEC West and a future date with Florida in the SEC Championship game by beating LSU 24-15. If the Tide can win out against Miss State, Chattanooga, and Auburn then whoever wins the SEC Title game will play for the BCS Title. By the way, I have looked into getting tickets for the SEC Championship since it's here in Atlanta and I have yet to go to one. Tickets start at $700 a piece in a shitty economy. Looks like HDTV will be my friend that day.

4. TCU HORNED FROGS-TCU gets College Gameday this week with Utah visiting. The campus should be electric and if the Horned Frogs can win out at the minimum they should get a BCS Bowl game. If 2 of the top 3 slip up then I think TCU should be playing for a BCS Championship if they win out because I think their defense is one of the best in the nation.

5. CINCINNATI BEARCATS-Brian Kelly still has them undefeated at 9-0. He is setting himself up perfectly for another BCS Bowl game. In order to do so they must beat West Virginia this week. They should.

6. BOISE STATE BRONCOS-Still undefeated so I have to put them up here. They won't play anybody the rest of the season which will hurt their BCS rankings but they can still make a BCS Bowl game considering at least 1 if not 2 or 3 teams ranked ahead of them will lose before the season is over.

7. GEORGIA TECH YELLOW JACKETS-The Jackets survived on Saturday against Wake Forest thanks to the cajones of Paul Johnson. In overtime, instead of kicking the field goal on 4th and short to send it to another overtime Johnson decided to go for it. The Jackets won. They travel to Duke this week in what should be a blowout.

8. IOWA HAWKEYES-Their luck finally ran out but they still have a chance to win the Big Ten by winning their next two games. They travel to the Horseshoe this Saturday. If they had a half way decent QB they would still be undefeated.

9. PITTSBURGH PANTHERS-I have a gut feeling they will blow out Notre Dame this weekend and get a lot more publicity for being a top 10 team. Wanny has Pitt playing excellent ball and should have little trouble with Charlie Weis this Saturday.

10. LSU TIGERS-Their only two losses have come at the hands of Florida and Alabama. Both of those games could have been won too. It's too bad they won't be playing in a BCS game this year.

ON THE OUTSIDE: Oregon, Utah, USC, Ohio State, Miami

CLEMSON ROWING TEAM WANTS YOU TO READ THEIR LIPS

Deadspin was the first to introduce the world to the Clemson Tigers rowing team which sometimes goes by the nickname of the Cameltoes. I feel kind of bad for these 9 women. Too much labia in college sports can be detrimental to future endeavors such as employment so I won't publish their names. Trust me, my labia has gotten me ridiculed for years.

THE SOLUTION FOR SWEATY BALLS: FRESH BALLS

How did it take this long to get antiperspirant for your manbags? We got people to the fucking moon 40 years ago but we are just now coming up with a product to get rid of sweaty balls. Our priorities are so whacked these days. Living in Hotlanta means I could use FreshBalls a solid 9 months of the year. My suffering is now over and so can yours. Sweaty Balls are a thing of the past. God bless.

Video HT: HolyTaco

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT FINALLY GOES FOR THE POLE

JLH has been playing the sweet, innocent girl for too long. It's time for her to grow up. It looks like she has finally grasped what it takes to make it "big" time in Hollywood: pole dancing. She needs to bring out her inner-Halle Berry and realize she isn't going to be nailing big movie roles without nailing some top notch producers and/or showing a little more skin. Berry took it all off for "Monster Ball" and won an Academy Award. Hewitt is now pole dancing on her show the "Ghost Whisperer" which is just a step to full frontal and an eventual sex tape. Do it for all the kids out there aka middle aged men.

Video HT: TheDailyFix

AFROS - AMERICA'S FINEST RECEIVERS ON SATURDAY SHIRT

Buy one or two right now. It will make you feel better. Trust me. Chances of you getting laid are greatly improved while sporting the AFROS.

SPORTSCRACK STORE PAGE

KELLY BROOK DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT NOTRE DAME

Which really means I don't want to talk about it because honestly it hurts too much. She also doesn't want to hear from all the Charlie Weis apologists. Just look at her and enjoy your day...



Picture HT: WWTDD

RICHMOND ANNOUNCER GOES OFF

Fast forward to the :37 second mark. His sentiments were how I felt watching the Notre Dame-Navy game this weekend. "What a bum!"

THIS GUY HAD MONEY ON HIS TEAM LOSING RIGHT?

Kick Return Fail - watch more funny videos

I will let you know Pete Rose never did something this malicious against his teams while he was coaching.

DEANGELO HALL IS A PUNK

What is it with the Falcons and Virginia Tech head cases? DeAngelo Hall might be as dumb as Michael Vick. Shut your mouth and play the game the right way. You got cut because you suck balls. It wasn't personal. You sucked then and you still suck now. Your suckiness is all knowing. Hell, the Raiders thought you sucked and released you. You play on the Deadskins now. I'm so happy the Falcons don't have players like DeAngelo on their team anymore. The result is an actual team with winners.

SAMMY SOSA IS THE NEW KING OF POP

This is a recent photograph of former MLB slugger/roid user Sammy Sosa and his new look: white. He has become the new King of Pop.

ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC

2 home losses to Navy the last 3 years will get you canned. I have officially ran out of excuses for Charlie Weis. I've always been a fan of the "give coaches five years to turn around a program" but it's clear as day that Notre Dame Football is just as mediocre as the day Weis took over for Ty Willingham.

From now on ND's athletic director Jack Swarbrick better be burning up the phone lines looking for replacements as soon as the Stanford games final whistle blows. Personally I think the best man for the job is Urban Meyer. Do I think it is realistic to get him? No, not really. He has a great job right now at Florida and will probably win his 3rd National Title in 4 years thus turning the Gators into a dynasty. Why would he want to leave? He wouldn't. So if you can't get the best you have to settle for one of the rest. Any of these coaches would be better than Charlie Weis: Gary Patterson (TCU head coach), Brian Kelly (Cincinnati head coach), Jon Gruden (Super Bowl winning HEAD coach and current MNF announcer), Mark Richt (yes, I said it, he would be a great representative for ND and he can recruit), or Paul Johnson (Georgia Tech head coach).

I've always wanted Weis to succeed because I think he is a good man and I know he busts his ass 24/7 to make Notre Dame football competitive. It's just simply not working. When you have elite Heisman caliber players on your roster (Jimmy Clausen, Golden Tate, and Michael Floyd) and you are still struggling to put points on the board against teams like Navy then you are what you are: over your head. A coach is always measured with wins or losses whether it is right or wrong. And right now the Fighting Irish are 16-20 in their last 3 seasons. Absolutely pathetic. Thanks for the memories Charlie. It's time to bring in a proven winner. Finally.

MUST SEE TV: THE LEAGUE ON FX

The League on FX - Exclusive Clip - The Birthday Song - The most popular videos are here

I watched the series premiere last night of "The League" on FX Channel and I admit I haven't laughed so hard since I watched the latest "Curb Your Enthusiasm" on Monday night. "The League" is hysterical and worth the time. It comes on tonight on the FX Channel at 10:30, right after "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." The show follows the lives of friends who are in a fantasy football league together. The cast is great and the writing as far as the pilot goes was outstanding. If you are a fan of Curb or Kenny Powers then I'm pretty sure you will enjoy "The League." Give it a shot tonight. If you don't enjoy it then clearly you are a communist who can't enjoy humor of any kind.

27 TITLES RETURN TO GLORY SHIRT

Our newest Sportscrack t-shirt is called "27 Titles Return To Glory" with the "Putting the Nasty Back in Dynasty" on the back. Please note how the 27 and DYNASTY are in pinstripes. We are taking preorders now, shirts will start shipping starting next week.

27 RETURN TO GLORY SHIRT

NUMERO UNO REASON TO WATCH THE HILLS

Audrina Patridge is on the show. At least I think she is. Honestly I have no fucking clue. I stopped watching MTV when "Beavis and Butthead" was canceled. Any network dumb enough to cancel that show doesn't deserve my attention. Patridge on the other hand does deserve it...




Image HT: WWTDD

PICKING UP CHICKS WITH TOP GUN LINES

Holy Taco went to the Bahamas and boarded the Bud Light Party Cruise with one goal: to pick up girls with lines from the movie "Top Gun." The results varied...


EMBED-Hot Chicks Love the Top Gun Song - Watch more free videos

So this is what I have been doing wrong all these years. I always tend to use lines from "Silence of the Lambs." For some reason girls don't dig the line "it puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again!" I mean come on, it makes perfect sense ladies. You are on the beach getting sunburned. I'm offering you protection from the harmful UV rays. So just go ahead and get in my windowless van.

CONGRATS TO THE NEW YORK YANKEES ON TITLE #27

The long suffering is over for you Yankees fans out there. Now you can know that when A-Roid makes out with himself in front of the mirror he is doing it as a World Champion. Actually the only two players I feel some what happy for is Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera and Jorge Posada. Both are homegrown products who never left the Yankees (unlike Andy Pettitte) and remained loyal to Mr. Steinbrenner despite the fact that they brought in douchebags like Mark Teixeira and A-Hole. All is right in the baseball world today. The Yankees bought themselves another World Series. And here I was laughing when they spent over $430 million during the offseason while moving into a $1.3 billion stadium and thought to myself "God I hope they fail miserably again like 2008!" I guess the joke is on me. Mark this down as another win for Wal-Mart.

JUST ANOTHER REASON TO ROOT FOR THE PHILLIES: CHASE UTLEY'S WIFE

Her name is Jennifer Cooper Utley and she met Chase at UCLA where they were both attending. Let's just say Chase aka The Greaser hit a home run with this Megan Fox look alike...

SEXUAL HARRASSMENT VIDEO

"Smells like vagina in here! Smells like fresh vagina in here." Sounds like something Pete Carroll would say to his team before charging the field. In all seriousness I think I watched one of these videos in high school before starting my job as Photo Technician at Eckerd's Drug Store. It basically said sexual harrassment is if an ugly person hits on someone out of their league. No worries for me mate. Working in the photo lab was one of the greatest jobs. I could see everybody's pictures and blow them up to 8x10 if I felt like blackmailing people. We would get naughty pictures of couples, spring break pictures of girls making out, and of course the always entertaining drunk prank pictures. Those were the days back in my beat up Nissan 200SX, making $7 a hour, and not worrying about bills, mortgages, lawyers, STD's. The world was much simpler back then. The Yankees still sucked at baseball and Notre Dame was just starting to suck at football thanks to the transition to Satan, I mean Bob Davie.

But forget about all that. This should cheer us all up right guys?...

REEBOK COMMERCIAL LOVES THE BUTT

This is actually a brilliant commercial for Reebok on so many levels. The first level is appealing to men of course. We like to look at asses, it's in our DNA. The second level is it appeals to women because no matter what they say all women are jealous of other women with nice rears. It's on par with guys being jealous of Peter North or John Holmes. The third level is as a marketing tool for Reebok. In our ultra conservative minds this type of commercial can be seen as extremely sexual or controversial. Anything that is sexy or controversial usually sells.

With that being said they should have picked Kim Kardashian as the model. Seriously. Everybody in the free world would know what a Reebok Easytone is by now if her rump was selling them.

Via WithLeather via HotClicks

GREATEST NEWSPAPER COVER EVER?

Daddy likey? The New York Post wins the prize for most original cover for this Pedro Martinez as a baby photoshop. I didn't have rooting interest in this game tonight but after seeing this I really hope the Phillies and Pedro stick it to the Yankees tonight. It's too bad the game is on tonight since I'm going to have to miss at least an inning with Modern Family on ABC. No worries since World Series games on FOX take about 5 hours to complete.

NY FANS VS PHILLY FANS FROM THE DAILY SHOW

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
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I don't think I could have said it any better myself. The world will be a better place once the Fall Classic is over and we can all forget about it.

Video HT: BarstoolSports

SPORTSCRACK TOP 10

1. FLORIDA GATORS-These eye gouging assholes stay at #1 till somebody comes up and beats their ass. It hasn't happened since September 2008 to Ole Miss and I can't see it happening anytime soon unless Bama plays one hell of a game in Atlanta.

2. TEXAS LONGHORNS-Texas proved me wrong last week by destroying Okie State in Stillwater. They are the real deal and it looks like they will be playing in the BCS Championship if Colt McCoy stays healthy.

3. ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE-They got lucky against Tennessee but had last week off to get their shit together and prepare for LSU this week. It wouldn't shock me if LSU pulled the upset.

4. TCU HORNED FROGS-I am going to suck on their proverbial tit till they lose one. I think of all the teams who are undefeated they could hang best with the top 3. Their defense is outstanding and if they go undefeated I would have no problem seeing them in the BCS Championship game.

5. CINCINNATI BEARCATS-They keep winning. Even without QB Tony Pike their backup, Zach Collaros, has done an excellent job with 7 TD passes and 2 rushing TDs. The path to 12-0 isn't far off especially considering they play in the worst BCS conference but I have this feeling they are going to slip up somewhere whether it be West Virginia or Pitt.

6. IOWA HAWKEYES-The Hawkeyes know how to win some ugly games. They are sitting at 9-0 for the first time ever and have games remaining with Northwestern, Ohio State, and Minnesota. All are very winnable but I have a feeling they will lose in Columbus.

7. BOISE STATE BRONCOS-Remember people that they beat Oregon. They won, not Oregon. How anybody has Oregon ranked ahead of the Broncos needs to have their heads checked. I know Boise State's schedule is about as tough as Georgia's defense but they should not be dropped below the Ducks unless they lose.

8. OREGON DUCKS-I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the Mighty Ducks beat the living piss out of the Trojans and Pete Carroll Saturday night. The Ducks now sit in the driver's seat for the PAC-10 title and Rose Bowl berth. But watch out for a trip to Stanford this week. Could be a huge letdown game.

9. GEORGIA TECH YELLOW JACKETS-Nesbitt and Dwyer are running fools and they will not let the Yellow Jackets lose another ACC game against Wake Forest and Duke. You can pencil them in for the ACC Championship. The question is can they win out and make a BCS Bowl for the first time? My eight ball says "outlook good."

10. PENN STATE NITTANY LIONS-If the JoePa's beat Ohio State this weekend then they have a great chance of winning out and at the very least making a BCS Bowl game at-large. Whoever wins this week will get the invite to the Fiesta Bowl in my opinion.

ON THE OUTSIDE: LSU Tigers, Pittsburgh Panthers, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, USC Trojans, Ohio State Buckeyes, Miami Hurricanes

KIM KARDASHIAN WINS THE BEST HALLOWEEN OUTFIT

I don't care what anybody else says and yes I know she is currently with Reggie Bush but if I was single I would lick every single layer of Kim Kardashian. And yes, I mean "layers!" If you say you wouldn't you are either mentally challenged or fucking gay in every sense of the word. Her Princess Jasmine outfit screams "Fuck me now mister!"

I hate Reggie Bush because A)he received over $200,000 in college without a slap on the wrist, B)The Bush Push, and C)he bangs Kim whenever and wherever he wants.

KELLY BROOK LOOKS DELICIOUS

Ladies, take note, this is what your Halloween costume should look like next year. Oh, and 32E boobs would help tremendously as Kelly Brook displays. I'm here to inspire.

Image HT: DailyMail


Now excuse me while I dream about sleeping on those funbags on the beach...

QUACK BITCHES

LSUfreek's stuff never gets old.

BRANDON SPIKES LIKES IT DIRTY

Check out Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes get a little pokey with Georgia tailback Washaun Ealey. I'm not sure what he was trying to do other than change out his contacts...

Video HT: TheBigLead
Yes it was a dirty play but this kind of shit happens all the time. He's lucky he didn't try to speed bag his nuts. I've seen it happen in a pile.

Where does Georgia go from here? Right now they sit at 4-4 and for the first time in Mark Richt's coaching tenure in Athens there are serious questions about where the program is headed. Just last season they were the preseason #1 team in the country and looked poise to win their second National Championship ever with Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno back. But they failed miserably getting blown out by Alabama and Florida last year and then letting Georgia Tech run all over them.

This year it looks like their cycle appears to be on the downward side again and yet they don't even belong on the same field as the Florida's and Alabama's of the world anymore. Right now you look at Georgia and you have to say that those teams are clearly better than them and only getting better along with rivals Tennessee and Georgia Tech.

If I were a betting man for 2010 I would say both Florida and Tennessee will be ranked ahead of Richt's Dawgs in the SEC East and LSU and Alabama will obviously be better too. This leaves Georgia middle of the pack in the SEC. With the amount of top flight recruits Georgia and Richt bring in year after year this is unacceptable and it falls on the coaches to get these kids ready. Coordinators Willie Martinez and Mike Bobo should both be let go this offseason. If Richt wants to keep his job in Athens he needs to be the hammer and knock out these crooked nails. It amazes me that Martinez didn't get fired after last season. Georgia's defense has regressed every season since Martinez took over after Brian VanGorder left and yet he still collects a hefty paycheck every two weeks.

I'm interested to hear what Georgia fans and outside observers think of the Bulldogs. Am I being too overly critical of the Dawgs? Right now I think Georgia Tech would run rough shot all over their rival and if you would have told me this two years ago I would have said you are crazy. Is Georgia turning into the new Florida State? Tons of athletes who are undisciplined and get crushed by more prepared teams who are led by superior coaches?

GREAT PICTURE

Courtesy of SI.com comes this picture of ND safety Sergio Brown doing a flip after Notre Dame destroyed Washington State 40-14. The Fighting Irish cruised from the get-go and got brilliant performances from Jimmy Clausen, Golden Tate, and Robert Hughes on offense. The defense stepped up and forced the Cougars into 2 turnovers while limiting them to 206 total yards. You can't beat a day when Michigan and USC both get absolutely crushed and the Irish lay a whooping themselves in front of some important Texas recruits in San Antonio.

DUCKS BEAT TROJANS 47-20 USuCk SHIRT

In honor of the Ducks completely dismantling the Trojans tonight we came out with this shirt titled "USuCk" and it's only available at Sportscrack.

This unlicensed t-shirt is a symbol of the once mighty Trojan empire of the Pac-10 Conference crumbling right before our happy eyes in Eugene on this Halloween Day. Get them now before they sell out.

BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME

If you think your costume kicks ass and has a legit shot to win at the party you are attending tonight well then just hope this guy doesn't show up. Fast forward to the :30 second mark...

Video HT: ExtraMustard

ARKANSAS SHOT THEIR WAD

Leave it up to Lee Corso to send us into the weekend. Who knows what else will cum out of his mouth this week...

TROJANS VS DUCKS: MAY THE BEST POON WIN

I feel kind of bad leaving out the left coast when it comes to talk about Poon because let's be completely honest: The West is the Best. Sure the property values are overpriced and 95% of the people are fake but the Poon just sizzles out there. Tomorrow we get the battle of the Pac-10's best teams in USC and Oregon in Autzen Stadium. Oregon is the only undefeated Pac-10 team at 4-0 and have recovered remarkably since their horrific start on the blue turf in Boise State. In fact they finished dismantling a team in Washington 43-19 who just happened to hand the Trojans their only loss of the season. The overrated and undisciplined Pete Carroll-led squad again have a chance to make pollsters completely forget about the Trojans shitting the bed against a bad Washington squad early in the season by coming in to Eugene and laying a hurting on the Ducks. Personally I think it's about time the Trojans got exposed. My prediction is Oregon 27 USC 17. But that is beside the point of the original point. The Poon. Let's take a look.

USC is well represented of course:






Oregon brings it back with a vengeance of mean Poon:






You can vote by leaving your comments below. I'm at a crossroads. Fuck it. I'm throwing a curve and going with Ashley...

WORLD'S BIGGEST COCKTEASE..I MEAN COCKTAIL PARTY TOMORROW

The Georgia Bulldogs enter tomorrow's contest with the Florida Gators on an obvious down note. Their defense has played shitty all season thanks to the "imaginative" schemes Willie Martinez has drawn up. They currently sit at 4-3 and the natives in Athens are getting restless with even some loyal fans aka assclowns calling for Richt's head. The Gators on the other hand are still undefeated despite playing sloppy football for over a month and come in #1 in the country thanks to Urban Meyer and the Gator's defense. Notice how he kept Tebow out of the discussion. It's for good reason. He isn't having a good season and it baffles me how people still have them in their top 3 for the Heisman. We all think we know who is going to win tomorrow. Florida. Duh. But the real question is who wins the battle of the Ta-Ta's. You decide in the comments section. Pictures are courtesy of one of the greatest blogs ever invented. I'm talking of course about the Poon of the SEC...

Your representative from Gainesville:


Your representative from Athens:


You decide who has the better rack. Comments below.

HEIDI KLUM CAN MAKE ANYTHING LOOK SEXY

WWTDD has the complete gallery of these new photos of milf Heidi Klum from her new book "Waiting for Fairchild" in which only her sweet self can make chocolate look this good...


No worries guys, she obviously wipes up and down (repeat)....


Call me old fashion but I'm more of a fan of the airbrushed topless look with some tight leather pants look. See that look in her face. It's the "Seal is just the appetizer for you Fairchild" eyes that haunt me. I see it all the time.


And I will leave you with the never gets old hair of the boobs trick. Oh what a tease. Can you imagine after three kids a woman still looking this hot? Seal is one lucky bastard. The crazy part is you know he is probably tired of banging her. Excuse me while I go swallow these horse tranquilizers.

THE BUTTON

I saw a preview for the new Cameron Diaz movie called "The Button" where she is presented with an interesting dilemna: push the button and you get 1 million dollars but somebody has to die. I looked at my wife, god bless her innocent soul, and said "fuck it, I would push the button as long as I don't know the person!" Does that make me a bad person or just a realistic one? A million dollars would be awfully helpful right now because I ain't selling diamonds here, I'm selling fucking t-shirts for dirt cheap.

I was going to post the preview of the movie here to let you judge it yourself but I found this one a lot more interesting than seeing Diaz age very ungraceful like...

The Button - watch more funny videos

So what would you do? To push the button or not, that is the question.

CLIFF LEE BASICALLYS SAYS PHUCK THE YANKEES

Cliff Lee was brilliant last night pitching a complete game in Game 1 of the World Series and showing the New York Yankees and their fans he can do pretty much anything...even behind his back...

Lee finished the night giving up only 6 hits (3 of them to JeTAH!) while striking out 10 batters (3 of them to A-Roids!) and walking nobody. He was so smooth and in command that you could hardly tell if he actually cared to be out there. Take for instance this catch while Tim McCarver narrates in annoying fashion as always...


Yep, ho hum. The Philadelphia Phillies looked dominant last night with Chase Utley hitting two bombs off of C.C. Sabathia and the Phillies knocking in some runs of a bad Yankees bullpen to finish a 6-1 win in Game 1. Tonight we have AJ Burnett pitching for the pinstripes against some guy named Pedro Martinez. You may have heard of him. The Phillies saved their bullpen in anticipation of going to it quickly tonight if Pedro throws 6 innings which would give manager Charlie Manuel his first chub in over a decade.

In the battle of Broad Street vs. Wall Street the series could be over quickly if Pedro pitches like his old self and Burnett fizzles. I don't see it happening. I think the Yankees bats awaken tonight to take game 2 but I still think the Phillies will win the series in 6 games.

PHUCK THE YANKEES SHIRTS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE HERE:

GOLDEN TATE: GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH

With all the talk surrounding Jimmy Clausen and the Heisman I figured why not give the most dynamic receiver in the country a little pub. His name is Golden Tate and he continues to remind me of Steve Smith of the Carolina Panthers. His hands have death grips and his balance and leg strength make it almost impossible for a sole defender to bring him down. He was just recently named one of 10 semifinalists for the Biletnikoff Award which goes to the top wide receiver in the country. Right now he is on pace for nearly 90 catches and 1500 yards receiving to go along with 16 TD's. His pace would put him at the top of the greatest receiving year for a Notre Dame football player. He has simply been Golden since Michael Floyd went down with the collarbone injury. I pray he stays for his senior season. Same with Clausen. 2010 would be off the charts with those two back for their senior seasons.

DOUCHEBAG SOLIDARITY

It's not about you or me, it's about the douchebags out there. This video almost brought tears to my eyes. Or maybe that was the excess AXE spray.

JONATHAN DWYER WILL STING YA!

Video HT: WithLeather

The Yellow Jackets won in Charlottesville for the first time since 1990 (the last time Tech won a NC) thanks to this stellar run by all-world back Jonathan Dwyer. Tech as a team ran for over 360 yards and with the win combined with the Miami loss to Clemson they now sit in the driver's seat of the ACC Coastal division at 5-1. If they can win their last two ACC games against Wake Forest and Duke they will have a great opportunity of reaching their first ever BCS Bowl game.

Which brings us to this question: How in the hell did Georgia Tech manage to scoop up Paul Johnson? I mean think about it, a program like Nebraska had an opportunity to get this guy and instead picked Bo Pelini. Johnson has to be considered one of the top 5 coaches in the college game right now. The scary part is he doesn't even have his full compliment of players who fit his offensive style in The Flats yet. Nesbitt is a good quarterback but could you imagine the Tech triple option if they had somebody like Tony Rice, Tommy Frazier or Pat White running it? They would be unbeatable.

PURPLE JESUS RUNS OVER GAY

Adrian Peterson absolutely owned William Gay of the Pittsburgh Steelers on this play but Gay and his teammates got the last laugh as the Steelers hung on with two huge defensive touchdowns to beat the previously unbeaten Vikings 27-17. Peterson will probably get a letter from the Rainbow Coalition in regards to the Gay bashing he displayed here. Come to think of it I will more than likely get an email now from some sensitive fruit in regards to this joke.

PHUCK THE YANKEES SHIRT

We know how much Philly fans love New York so we figured what the hell, let's do a shirt for the Fall Classic. So here it is, the Phuck the Yankees shirt. We are taking orders now and the shirts will start shipping this Wednesday.

DRUNK GUY IN CONVENIENCE STORE

You could put video of baby seals getting clubbed but as long as there is the Benny Hill theme song playing in the background then everything is shits and giggles. Check out this video from Hot Clicks....

BLAST FROM THE PAST: KATARINA WITT

Katarina Witt, the German Olympic Gold Medalist figure skater, shows she still has that extra special something to make everything right in the world. At least in my world. This is the type of side Steve Phillips should be getting.

THE WORST SLUMPBUSTER EVER

According to The Big Lead the thing on the left has a name of Brooke Hundley, an ESPN employee who Steve Phillips was fucking on the side and what has ultimately cost him his marriage and job.

I knew Phillips was a bad ex-GM for the New York Mets but seriously dude, how the fuck do you pick that? The guy is going to loss hundreds of thousands of dollars in divorce because he wanted to go hogging. Don't get me wrong, hogging is a national past time for slumping ball players and/or Spring Break in Panama City but Phillips managed to pick out the worst one ever.

Apparently the "girl" had sex with Phillips three times which he has admitted to and can even identify some birthmarks around his cock and balls. She pulled a Fatal Attraction by showing up to his house and revealing the porking to Phillip's wife. His wife would probably just wished he fucked some random guys in park bathrooms instead of fucking Rosie O'Donnell's little sister.

GEORGIA TECH FANS TEAR DOWN GOALPOSTS

Now this is what college football is all about. You don't see this shit in the NFL. The passion is unmatched. Georgia Tech students and fans tore down the goalposts last weekend after their upset of then #4 Virginia Tech at Bobby Dodd. They took the goalposts out of the stadium and dispensed of them on the lawn of the GT president. Fucking awesome. This is what I thought for sure I would be doing last week up in Notre Dame. The dream would have become a reality if Jamoris Slaughter or Sergio Brown were starting at free safety.

By the way, how do people including myself not mention GT coach Paul Johnson as one of the top 5 coaches in the game. Seriously. Everyone mentions Urban, Saban, Carroll, Stoops, etc. but it seems like Johnson's name doesn't ever come up. The guy is a winner. He took Navy to 10 wins seasons after leaving Georgia Southern with National Titles in hand and now he has the Yellow Jackets in a position to make a serious run for a BCS Bowl game.

Of course now that I said it I probably jinxed them. They got a big game this Saturday in Charlottesville in a stadium they haven't won since 1990, the last time they won the National Title. Al Groh's teams play great ball in October and this year they are 3-0. It should be a close battle. Right now Tech sits as a 6 point favorite but I bet this game comes down to a field goal.

Video HT: The Big Lead via WizofOdds.

MARIANO RIVERA'S CUTTER MORE A SPITTER

I think it is pretty much obvious that Mariano Rivera was doctoring the ball yesterday against the California Angels. I haven't seen that much saliva since watching a Jenna Jameson girl-on-girl sequence. It should be amusing to see how the New York media treats this "cheating" since they tore apart A-Roids for his drug use. The Angels wound up winning yesterday from what I have heard. Don't ask me for any insight because I've been paying as much attention to the MLB Playoffs as the Balloon Boy coverage. I just read the Phillies won too. Wow. I. Am. So. Excited. A Yankees vs. Phillies matchup in the Fall Classic will be so epic nobody outside of those two miserable fan bases will watch it.

Just curious, but do any of you find what Mo Rivera did to be cheating? To me it's like rubbing the ball in the dirt.

28 DRINKS LATER

28 Drinks Later - watch more funny videos

This is essentially how I feel after getting back late last night from Chicago. Everything about my trip to Notre Dame was great except for the final score. We did shots at Knute Rockne's grave site, I got into the player's locker room and I touched the Play Like A Champion Today sign. You can't beat that shit. I met Joe Theismann, Michael Floyd, Golden Tate, Armando Allen, Jimmy Clausen, Rocket Ismail, and a cast of others while partying on what some people consider a dry campus. Trust me, it the furthest thing from a dry campus. I touched the grass on the field, went through the tunnel and was right there when the final pass went incomplete to Duval Kamara because he slipped. The game only reconfirmed what I already knew: the Irish defense stinks but the offense is led by the best quarterback in the nation in Jimmy Clausen and it kept them in the game. I know that the Heisman comes down to wins and losses but anyone who doesn't think Jimmy isn't by far the best QB in the college game today needs to have their head checked. He was pressured all day and took cheap shots from a fast Trojan defense and still had the chance at the end of the game to win it for the double digit underdogs.

The team fought all day and could have called it in when they were down by 20 in the 4th quarter but they didn't. I credit Charlie Weis for calling a great game. Yes, I said it, Charlie's playcalling was brilliant all day. The Trojan defense is that good and they still managed to put a ton of points on the board. The fake field goal was unbelievable. Robby Parris and Golden Tate (is there a more dynamic receiver in the game today?) came up with huge, clutch grabs. One more play and who knows, we might be talking about an Irish victory.

This season has become a mirror image of 2005. Last second losses to a team from Michigan and USC and if they had any form of defense they would easily be undefeated right now. It is what it is. Even with the defense Notre Dame is a top 15 team. They just need to win out starting with Boston College this week to prove it.

And to any of the voters out there who think USC still has a legitimate shot at reaching a BCS Championship game all I can say is NO. A good defense can shut those guys down especially if they don't have a free safety who bites every single time on play action on third and long. USC will lose at least another game.

If only ND had a defense. Fuck. Oh well, there is always next year. If Jimmy and Golden come back the offense is not going to skip a beat and should be even better with the likes of Michael Floyd, Kyle Rudolph, and Armando Allen all back. The recruiting should be excellent with Charlie still in charge. In case you were wondering the only way I want to replace Charlie is if Urban Meyer comes knocking on the door. I don't see it happening. He is too busy blowing Tim Tebow.

GOLF QUESTION

My buddy Chuck is getting married next Saturday (same time as the ND-Boston College game..bastard) and I've been put in charge of finding a tee time for 7-8 guys for next Thursday. Does anybody know of a place around Atlanta that has discount group rates? Hell, I will give the golf course some free advertising for a year on Sportscrack if they can hook us up. The free advertising alone would make up for all the empty beer cans and hooker spit left on the 18th green.

Either send me an email at matt@sportscrack.com or put your suggestion below in the comment box. Which ever suggestion is the best gets a free Sportscrack shirt.

TO ALL YOU ND HATERS: I THREW IT ON THE GROUND!

Andy Samberg - I Threw it On The Ground - watch more funny videos

I've got my shit packed and ready, waiting to board my flight to Chicago in what should be an epic weekend up in Notre Dame. I don't want to hear all the negative bitches about how USC is going to throttle Notre Dame with their speed and their talent because I just threw that shit on the ground Man! Jimmy Clausen will be throwing all over USC's overrated defense and Golden will have at least 3 or 4 plays where you look at your bud and say "Holy Shit!" It's time to wake up those echoes in Rock's House and I fully expect a loud and insane crowd especially when USC has the ball on offense. You can expect to see my ugly mug on the field as soon as the final whistle blows on Saturday because the Fighting Irish are going to win. There are no more excuses. Notre Dame has the starting talent to compete with USC. They may not have the depth yet but I don't expect to see 3rd and 4th stringers in this game for either team. In a close battle Jimmy and the Fighting Irish will come out on top. 10.5 underdogs at home! I just threw that shit on the ground man!

Early, pre-drunk stupor prediction: Notre Dame 31 USC 28


Big props go out to Dave Bregrande, ND grad, for designing the shirt above. I think it's one of our best yet. If anybody you know is looking for an independent graphic designer/illustrator you can contact Dave at UseDave.com

OWEN SCHMITT IS ALL KINDS OF CRAZY

Owen Schmitt brings back memories of the Irish fighter in Braveheart whom helps William Wallace. He just has that crazy look to him. Basically he is the last guy you want to get into a fight with at a bar or in church. Apparently the banging of the helmet to the noggin worked for Schmitt and his teammates as they completely crushed the worthless Jags yesterday 41-0.

NDAMUKONG SUH SHIRT HOUSE OF SPEARS 93

If you watched last night's battle on ESPN between Nebraska and Missouri you should have noticed #93 Ndamukong Suh for the Cornhuskers was completely dominating and making himself a future #1 overall NFL draft pick. In honor of Ndamukong, which literally translates to "House of Spears", we made this shirt for all the Nebraska fanatics. The guy is a beast and deserves some recognition from the Sportscrack nation. Big props go out to Dana for sending in the idea.