Baltimore Orioles Bring Back the Cartoon Bird

No complaints here. I've always enjoyed the cartoon bird on the hats from the late 60's to late 80's and I'm glad they are bringing it back. Now if only they could bring back the feeling of 3 World Series Championships to Baltimore then I will really get excited. But overall a great look for the team. Hopefully the next press release coming from the Warehouse is Peter Angelos selling the team to somebody who actually cares about building a winner.

Arkansas Razorbacks Joe Adams With The Best Punt Return of the Season

I saw at least 7 missed tackles. Holy Hogs indeed. I'm always torn on these kind of plays. Yes it was a great return by Joe Adams. No doubt about that. But what the hell was up with the tackling? We aren't talking about Devin Hester returning here. It's some college kid named Adams. It's gotta be these new uniforms that have Crisco baked into them. I can smell the bacon from here.

Fun fact: Tennessee is now 0-6 in SEC play with their closest defeat of 8 points to Georgia way back in early October. They have Vandy at home this week and are the underdogs. UNDERDOGS to fucking Vandy at home! Hilarious.

It's actually humorous to see how bad Tennessee and Florida are coached these days. They use to have great coaching with incredible talent. Now with the likes of Dooley, Muschamp, and Weis running the shows they are a complete disaster. There is no good reason for both of those programs to be this bad. Their offenses are horrifying to say the least. Both need coaching changes. I've heard JoePa is available.

Saturday Night Live Makes Fun of Penn State and Joe Paterno

Not too shabby SNL. Maybe now I can stop getting comments from the peanut gallery about our JoePa Creepy Valley shirt.



Via TheBigLead

My Notre Dame Treasure Chest Must Have Gotten Lost

Ok I've taken a couple of deep shallow breaths so I don't hyperventilate over here. Adidas and Notre Dame made a limited edition of 11 Notre Dame treasure chests that include the Notre Dame helmet, jersey, and gloves they will be wearing this week vs. Maryland in the Shamrock Series and somehow I didn't receive mine in the mail. It must have been a honest mistake. Because I know Adidas wouldn't screw up with SportsCrack and the world's biggest Notre Dame fan over here by not including one of those awesome chests that also include a gold plated Ipod with headphones and actual gold dust from the Dome and mistakenly send it to Paul Lukas and Darren Rovell and not me. It's okay. I forgive you as long as I get mine before Christmas. Lukas and Rovell don't even like Notre Dame. Sure they may have more followers and thus you might get more exposure but they are not nearly as good looking as me and you know the true Notre Dame fans who will eat that shit up come to SportsCrack. I'm not mad though because I know mine is coming. Don't make me go to the dark side and start sporting Penn State Nike jerseys over here. You got my address. I still endorse K Swiss shoes to everybody and I got those like two years ago. Nobody even knew what K Swiss was before I started pimping them out. The rule of thumb is if you want to make it big you got to come to SportsCrack. Now make it happen. Plus I've been to Germany like 4 times. I practically carried your country's GDP on my back with all the beer and sausages I ate.

Love,

Fairchild

Happy Veteran's Day

I hope that one day my daughter will say those words about me. Big props to all the veterans, past and present, who serve our country and give us a chance to live our lives with freedom. You guys rock!!! Check out WelcomeHomeBlog.com for more great videos of soldiers coming home to surprise their families.

Mark May Is Right

ESPN's Mark May hits the nail on the head right here. Everybody at Penn State needs to be fired. After this season is over they need to bring in a whole new regime. No leftovers. If Penn State is going to move on they need to erase the past and anybody who might have known about the horrible shit that was going on with Jerry Sandusky but didn't want to tell because of fear of ruining the program. The program is ruined. It's not "tarnished" or "tainted" or even on sanctions. It's a horrific mess because of what happened inside those same showers and locker rooms that the players and coaches use every day. It's time to start a new Penn State. One with passion and compassion for fellow human beings. And like Mark May said everyone in that program is complicit because most of them were there for decades not years and had to have known or had some inclination of what Sandusky did.

The Say It Ain't So JoePa Creepy Valley Shirt

To bring a little light on the whole JoePa mess we figured we would do an animated South Park-style shirt for it. This is the new SAY IT AIN'T SO JOEPA CREEPY VALLEY shirt available exclusively at SportsCrack.com.

We are taking preorders now. Shirts start shipping immediately.

Order here for only $15.

#1 Prep QB Gunner Kiel To Enroll At Notre Dame In January

Not exactly official yet but I've been told the nation's #1 prep quarterback Gunner Kiel has decided to attend Notre Dame and early enroll this January. It was just a few weeks ago that Kiel was committed to Indiana but then decided to decommit and attend the Notre Dame-USC game along with 40 plus other top recruits.

For obvious reasons Kiel would be a tremendous coup for the Fighting Irish and head coach Brian Kelly. It's not too often you have a five star QB just fall into your laps so to speak but Kelly will definitely take it considering the amount of recruits Kiel could help bring in. The Irish are actively pursuing Nelson Agholor, a 6'2 180 lb speedy wideout, who is from Tampa, FL and is currently the #1 ranked athlete in the nation. Agholor visited Notre Dame in early October for the Air Force game and came away with the Irish on top of his list. Granted Notre Dame has been his only official visit so far with the Florida Gators being the main competition. Teaming up Kiel and Agholor in a class would be similar to what Notre Dame thought they were getting years ago when they paired Dayne Crist and Michael Floyd in the same class.

Another recruit that the Irish are pursuing actively is the #1 tailback in the nation in Keith Marshall. Marshall also officially visited with Kiel for the USC game and came away with the Irish neck-and-neck with his favorite school in Georgia. UGA has long been considered the leader for Marshall's services and the popular thinking was if Mark Richt stays in Athens then Marshall will be there next fall. The rumblings around Notre Dame is that Marshall is now leaning toward the Irish. I still have serious doubts he ends up anywhere else but UGA.

Still a long way till signing day in February so don't expect any early decisions from Agholor or Marshall but it should be a relief for Kelly to get Kiel (nephew of former ND QB Blair) signed and enrolled in early January so he can put his focus on the other recruits.

Here are some Youtube highlights of Gunner Kiel....

Hey Utah! Garrett McNamara Surfing a 90 Ft Wave

Down in Nazare, Portugal surfer Garrett McNamara managed to ride the ultimate wave and not only live from it but get footage of it. The wave is estimated to be 90 feet high which sounds ridiculous but then when you see McNamara resembling a gnat you should be thankful he didn't get totally pitted.

Penn State Students Are Fucking Idiots and Rioting

Seriously Penn State? You went on a riot last night because a 84 year old who shouldn't be coaching college football in the first place and who can barely put together a coherent sentence got fired because he failed to report a predator who was raping children in his own fucking locker room to the police. I thought I was an idiot when I was in college but these kids up in Penn State prove the paint chips on JoePa's statue needs another re coating with all the sucking up these students are giving to their false God.

Here is a classy move by the students chanting "FUCK THE TRUSTEES!" Yeah how dare they actually do the right thing for once.

Just When You Think The Story Of Jerry Sandusky Might Be Over...It Could Get Much Worse

This whole Jerry Sandusky pedophile case has been a stomach turner from the beginning and thankfully Penn State's board of trustees made the first right decision in this whole debacle by firing the president and head coach Joe Paterno last night. Unfortunately a guy like Sandusky doesn't get away with raping boys without some help. Whether it be the athletic director and Paterno covering up for him it's disgusting how HUMAN BEINGS can let a monster like Sandusky knowlingly roam their campus and using a youth charity on campus for Sandusky to have his "pick of the litter."

But just when you don't think it can't get any worse it just might. Sure Paterno is gone and Graham Spanier is no longer in charge at Penn State or the BCS for that matter but this pales in comparison with the latest rumor. Back in April Pittsburgh radio host Mark Madden wrote a story about Sandusky molesting boys which is baffling since just now it is becoming public. A lot of people didn't want to believe what Madden wrote back then but today he was asked on The Dennis and Callahan Show if this was basically the end of the story. It's not.

Here is the latest rumor which Madden says is being investigated:

"I can give you a rumor and I can give you something I think might happen," Madden told John Dennis and Gerry Callahan. "I hear there's a rumor that there will be a more shocking development from the Second Mile Foundation -- and hold on to your stomachs, boys, this is gross, I will use the only language I can -- that Jerry Sandusky and Second Mile were pimping out young boys to rich donors. That was being investigated by two prominent columnists even as I speak."

Madden also spoke more definitively to the cover-up efforts at the school and beyond that he expects will be made public soon.
"The other thing I think that may eventually become uncovered, and I talked about this in my original article back in April, is that I think they'll find out that Jerry Sandusky was told that he had to retire in exchange for a cover-up," Madden said. "If you look at the timeline, that makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

"My opinion is when Sandusky quit, everybody knew -- not just at Penn State," Madden added. "I think it was a very poorly kept secret about college football in general, and that is why he never coached in college football again and retired at the relatively young age of 55. [That's] young for a coach, certainly."

This is so much bigger than just Sandusky. Unfortunately I think we are going to find out this was a montrosity involving a lot of rich people who have a ton of influence and power around Penn State. It might be the reason why the district attorney Ray Gricar mysteriously disappeared 6 years ago before having a chance to expose the whole Sandusky scandal to the world. It's starting to make sense. Why would Penn State just now start to investigate kids getting raped when they knew over a decade ago? If Penn State ever wants to get back to where they were they need to clean house. Every fucking body who knew including the ginger grad assistant who witnessed one of the rapes but still has a job with Penn State. Blow it up. At this point football shouldn't even be a thought. The victims and their families deserve justice.

Mark Richt Doesn't Like Your Bad Question

Someone must have asked him about suspensions for this week's game versus Auburn because Georgia head coach Mark Richt didn't enjoy it as you can tell. Things are getting testy for major college football head coaches these days. Not only do they have to win football games but they got to answer hard questions from the media like "why didn't you report a rape to the authorities?" or "have there been any suspensions this week?" It must be brutal to get paid millions to answer such mind boggling questions like those.

Via TheBigLead via RedAndBlack

The Official Suck For Luck Shirts Now Available

We pretty much know the Colts are tanking the season without Peyton Manning. Chances are good Manning has seen his last days behind center wearing an Indy uniform. Now it's time for the Andrew Luck era to begin. Get the official SUCK FOR LUCK shirt today!

Something to "lighten" the mood

All right for now no more talk about State Penn. Let's lighten up the mood with a little video here.

Joe Paterno Releases Statement Announcing His Retirement

From @MicheleSteele comes Joe Paterno's official retirement announcement effective at the end of the season....

Paterno full statement: STATE COLLEGE, Pa., Nov. 9, 2011 -- I am absolutely devastated by
the developments in this case. I grieve for the children and their families,
and I pray for their comfort and relief.

I have come to work every day for the last 61 years with one clear goal in
mind: To serve the best interests of this university and the young men who have
been entrusted to my care. I have the same goal today.

That's why I have decided to announce my retirement effective at the end of
this season. At this moment the Board of Trustees should not spend a single
minute discussing my status. They have far more important matters to address. I
want to make this as easy for them as I possibly can.
This is a tragedy. It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit
of hindsight, I wish I had done more.

My goals now are to keep my commitments to my players and staff and finish the
season with dignity and determination. And then I will spend the rest of my
life doing everything I can to help this University.

So now the question remains: What NFL team will Joe Paterno coach next season? Oh wait nevermind. Dumb question. I meant to write who will coach Penn State next season? Yeah that's what I meant.

JoePa "Addresses" His Fans

God this is sickening. Not because there are a bunch of d-bag college students who have no clue what they are doing but the fact that Joe Paterno is still a head coach. I mean could you understand one fucking word he said? All I heard was the "We...Are....Penn...State" chant at the end. I know it's one thing to be a diehard football fan and to put Joe Paterno on a pedestal for basically building the Penn State program but do people not realize that Paterno had the power to save kids from a predator and he basically did the bare minimum? Wake the fuck up! But be quiet you don't want to wake JoePa and ruin his "legacy."

Joe Paterno is Done at Penn State

The New York Times is reporting that Joe Paterno (who cancelled his press conference today) is out at Penn State and will begun an exit strategy for the once legendary football coach.

Hmm, an exit strategy eh? How about having each one of Jerry Sandusky's victims delivering a swift kick to JoePa's fat fucking nose and face as he leaves his office in disgust. It's basically being nice to a guy who protected a pedophile for so long and continued to let the piece of shit on campus up to last week while covering his ass.

Growing up I always thought of JoePa as a member of the mafia. He just seemed sleazy to me. But even the mafia has morals and they wouldn't let one of their own rape boys without having him 6 feet under a turnpike.

In conclusion: Mafia>JoePa's legacy

Matt Millen Cries On ESPN

I know some people will make fun of Matt Millen because he cried on air but it's not right. The guy is devastated because his alma mater Penn State bred, raised, and pretty much covered their asses for a pedophile. That in itself is even more shameful then his GM tenure in Detroit. Is that possible? Yep.

Charlie Strong Crowd Surfing In The Louisville Locker Room

And this one of the many things that makes college football so great. It's about passion and when you see Louisville head coach Charlie Strong going ape shit after their upset win over West Virginia on Saturday I can't help but get the chills. Grown men acting like kids. Awesome.

Via SBNation

RIP SMOKIN' JOE FRAZIER

The boxing world lost one of the greats yesterday when Philly's own Smokin' Joe Frazier passed away after a short battle with liver cancer at the age of 67. Frazier was a true champion and was one of the few guys who would not back down from Muhammed Ali and in fact beat him in the Fight of the Century. He couldn't ever escape Ali's huge shadow despite going 41 rounds with him and never giving an inch to Ali including their last fight with the "Thrilla in Manila" that went 14 rounds. It's amazing how champions like Frazier who could fight his whole life for everything they got but yet can not beat a disease like cancer. The same with Steve Jobs who had all the money in the world but couldn't beat it. In conclusion cancer sucks. All of it. Hopefully someday it goes down for the count for good.

Notre Dame Introduces Another New Helmet

Yesterday Notre Dame introduced their 4th helmet of the 2011 season with the new "Shamrock Series" helmet they will wear versus Maryland this Saturday. The shamrock is a little bit bigger than the ones they wore versus Michigan and the gold is the new one they introduced versus USC. Personally I think they look great. I've always wondered why they haven't switched up the helmets in the past and now it appears Notre Dame is getting with the times and introducing new "cool" helmets that will get people to notice them including recruits. I also like the facemasks. It's not the usual grey masks they've worn since forever but instead it's a dark green. Sharp looking helmet and I can't wait to see Louis Nix (pictured above) smashing Terps this Saturday with it on.

LSUFreek on LSU vs Bama Gif

Jerry Sandusky Still Is Free and Wearing Penn State Clothing Proudly

LostLettermen has this ABC's "Good Morning America" interview with child rapist Jerry Sandusky who will neither confirm nor deny he rapes boys in the Penn State locker room. What a swell guy too! If you are a Penn State supporter you have to love the fact Sandusky is smiling while sporting his Nittany Lion attire even though he has been banned from ever stepping foot on their campus.

If you haven't already go read the 23 page report from the Attorney General on what exactly Sandusky did and check it out before you want my opinion. But please read it after you have had your lunch because it is that disgusting.

There is nothing more morally reprehensible than a child getting raped. Sandusky apparently has had 8 victims come forward when there are probably dozens more. He founds ways to use his power as a defensive coordinator for Penn State under Joe Paterno to get access to "troubled" boys by founding a children's charity called Second Mile. He would then get the boys to come to his house and rape them. He would also rape them on campus in the Penn State locker room while taking showers with them. A graduate assistant who is now the quarterback coach for Penn State witnessed Sandusky sodomizing a young boy in the shower in 2002. Obviously distraught he notified his Dad and then Paterno the next day. Neither of these three men went to the police.

Again Paterno, the graduate assistant and the father of the graduate assistant all knew about Sandusky screwing a young boy in the anus in the Penn State showers with the graduate assistant witnessing it himself and yet no one thought to go to the police. That in itself is fucking deplorable. Paterno senile old ass instead notified athletic director Tim Curley (since fired) and Gary Schultz, the university's senior vice president for finance and business. None of them ever contacted the police to report the incident.

A janitor witnessed Sandusky pinning a boy against the shower stall and giving oral sex. Still no one notified police. In order for Penn State to move forward from this horrifying tale it needs to clean house. The President of the University is already voicing his support for Curley, Schultz and Paterno. He needs to be fired too.

Obviously what Sandusky did as a sexual predator is the worse of the crimes but the fact that none of these "authority" figures at Penn State who found out yet did nothing to report it to the police are equally pieces of shit in my book. JoePa should never coach a game again. He's already hiding behind his lawyer. Same with the others.

Fuck them. They should all be in the State Penn and not Happy Valley. If you are a Penn State fan I feel for you today. There is no way I could in good conscious ever support the university or wear clothing showing my support after reading about all of these men who knew of children getting raped by one of their own yet did nothing to stop it.

Ole Miss Busts A Nutt

Before I dive into the whole "Penn State needs to fire everybody who knew about Jerry Sandusky and did nothing to report it" story I figured I would talk about something a little more upbeat in college football: coaches getting canned. Or as the headline says itself "Ole Miss busts a Nutt."

Ole Miss currently has a 12 game SEC losing streak. It's their worst streak in their horrible history. And now head coach Houston Nutt will be taking the fall. Ole Miss has a 3pm press conference scheduled today when they will announce they are busting a Nutt for shitty coaching.

Things started off well for Nutt in Oxford after leaving Arkansas. He led the Rebels to back-to-back 9 win seasons which ended in Cotton Bowl victories. But the last two seasons have been a disaster. Ole Miss now gets thrown around by teams like Vandy and in this current college football landscape where fans and alumni expect not only instant results but sustained success Nutt is clearly not holding up his end of the bargain.

So now the question is who will be the new coach? I'm sure the usual Urban Meyer, Jon Gruden, and others BS reports will come out. Ole Miss is not a premiere job. It never has been. Which probably means they will be looking to get a hot assistant like Alabama's Kirby Smart or Georgia's Todd Grantham who are familiar with the conference. I hear Joe Paterno will be available.

Mark Sanchez is just your typical USC Pansy...always flinching

At least he didn't shit his pants. Or did he?

Kirk Herbstreit Shits Himself On Live TV During Mini Earthquake

All you have to do is look into Herbie's eyes at the 10 second mark. Bam. He just shit himself. A modest 5.6 earthquake was reported in Stillwater, OK at the time when Herbie was reporting for ESPN from the Okie State-Kansas State game when you can see his eyes completely bug out while he tries to remain calm with Hershey squirts.

But Herbie the professional he is goes on to report while remaining calm, cool, and somewhat collected while not knowing what the hell just happened. Don't get me wrong I would have been screaming like a little girl with tears flowing pleading to call my wife and kid to Chris Fowler before the whole stadium collapsed. I've never experienced an earthquake so I can only imagine the fear. But now I know what it is like to see Herbie shit his pants. Another check on the bucket list.

Vinnie Verno with his Alabama-LSU Lock of the Year

Bama -5 over LSU
Stanford -21 over Oregon State
Northwestern +17 over Nebraska
Arkansas State -17 over Florida Atlantic
Vanderbilt +13 over Florida

Leave it to Vinnie to make an Andrew Luck neck beard joke, a weekend at Bernies joke, and a Humpty Humpty dance joke all roll into one hilarious group of picks for this week. I hope people realize that Les Miles isn't really an idiot who eats grass on gamedays. Miles is just playing everybody for the fool when they think he is just some dumb shit on the sidelines when in fact he is a defcom missile ready to blow up Nick Saban and the Tide this Saturday in Tuscaloosa. Trust me it's going to happen. LSU will win.

Why you ask? Because before the season I took LSU to win the SEC and so far they have played one of the toughest schedules in the nation and have destroyed everybody in their path. Everyfuckingbody. LSU isn't afraid of Bama and can anyone remember the last time LSU lost a night game? I think it's been like 500 years. Take LSU. Do it.

A Behind The Scenes Look Into Notre Dame Football Includes Victory Crab Legs

I think I may want to change my thinking about college football players getting paid. Well at least at Notre Dame.

Holy shit these guys at Notre Dame have the life! Video games, massage tables, ping pong, and food for days including victory crab legs. Yeah I can see why Notre Dame does so well in recruiting even when they aren't meeting expectations on the field. With tuition, room and board, free clothes, and all the state of the art facilities and athletic trainers available Notre Dame football players are getting at least $100,000 a year in free perks to play football in college.

If I'm Keith Marshall, Gunner Kiel, Shaq Thompson and Arik Armstead I've already made up my mind after visiting the "Gug" and seeing how well the players are treated and trained. If I'm not being blunt enough I'm basically shouting "GO TO ND WHERE YOU WILL GET A DEGREE AND LIVE LIKE KINGS FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS!" There is that good enough?

Now I know why they call it the World's Largest "Cock"tail Party

Good for UGA finally beating a shitty Florida Gaytors team but what the hell is up with all the dugan aka sausage aka cock swinging around? I've never been to Jacksonville for the game but I've heard nothing but crazy stories and good times and these come from Georgia fans who usually come home with a loss. All I see is a bunch of frat boys barely clothed jerking off on each other. I'm severely disappointed. At least up in Athens you can see plenty of girls. Isn't the whole point of college is to get laid and spread STD's? I felt like I was hanging out in Rehoboth Beach watching this shitfest.

But anyways congrats to Georgia for getting a much needed victory over their rival. Next time guys try to bring some females down with you on the trip. And why did I not see any of these Gaytors shirts in the crowd?




Video via BarstoolSports

Kate Upton's Latest SI Pictures From Philippines

Those are the gifts that just keep on giving. If you are stealth-like just stop the video intermittently when she is wearing the fishnet top.

Hey Bud I Got You A Frosty One

FFFFUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!



I can't believe I spilt my Molson eh!

Via Hot Clicks

Best Halloween Costume Goes to the Top Gun Babies

Goose and Maverick to the fucking tee. These twins even got Anthony Edwards Goose fading hair line and Tom Cruise Maverick ""I feel the need...The need for speed!" attitude. I think we found the parents of the year by the way. Just all around top notch game here.

You know you are getting old when college kids have no fucking clue who Goose and Maverick are. It kinda pisses me off when I have to explain the movie Top Gun. It should be required viewing in elementary school.

Henrik Eriksson Celebrates Hockey Goals by Hugging the Opponent

If you needed further proof that the European hockey players are soft all you have to do is take a look at this celebration by Henrik Eriksson in Sweden. Not only does Eriksson have the cajones to hug Alen Bibic right in front of the goalie he just scored on but then Bibic gives a half ass punch. I mean come on Bibic. Deck his ass. Your lucky he didn't kiss you after that pansy ass punch.

Via PuckDaddy

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

More NFL cheerleading pics at Guyism.com

WE WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT FLASHBACKS WITH THE BUCKS

What a game. What a series. And yes. We will see you tomorrow night. Damn you Kirby Puckett and Ryan Freese.

Philanthropy with Vinnie Verno: Week 9 Picks

South Carolina -4 over Tennessee I MISS PHIL FULMER GAME
Cal -6 over UCLA LAME DUCK GAME OF THE YEAR
A&M -11.5 over Missouri SORORITY GIRLS ARE CLASSY GAME
Wisconsin -7 over Ohio State DIABOLICAL TOMBSTONE GAME OF THE YEAR
Okie State -14 over Baylor TEACH ME HOW TO GUNDY GAME OF THE YEAR

When Vinnie Verno first graced us with his all knowing presence this year I thought he was hilarious but I had fears he would be a flash in a pan. I couldn't see his humor keeping up every week with the grind that is the football season. But I was wrong. Dead wrong. And like the show Workaholics Vinnie gets better with age. Every week he brings a new angle. This week it was Halloween. He farts. He laughs hysterically. He brings in clips of labradors fucking old ladies. Vinnie is the man.

Aaron Taylor Lays Into Notre Dame And Is Right

As some of you may know I was up at Notre Dame last week to watch what was once a great rivalry versus USC turn into yet another major disappointment for the Fighting Irish. Actually I'll just call them ND because right now they don't deserve the "Fighting Irish" nickname.

To say I was disgusted by their performance would be an understatement. To say I was shocked by the outcome would by a total misnomer. Notre Dame hasn't been Notre Dame for a long time. They've gone through 3 coaches (well 4 if you count George O'Leary) since Lou Holtz was forced out and haven't been a National Championship contender since 1993. In fact they have only finished in the top 25 5 times since that season. They have yet to win a BCS game and the 3 years they made it they got relatively blown out. And yet almost every year you can look at their schedule and their talent (which is debatable) and say they should be a top 15-20 every season. But the sad part is they get crushed by teams like Navy and Stanford who hold the same exact academic rigors to get in and stay in school but have a sliver of the overall talent that permeates the Notre Dame roster.

So why does Notre Dame continue to lose when they have more talent, better facilities, more exposure, and greater fan support than those other schools? The common denominator for most fans is the head coach. Or the defensive coordinator. Or the athletic director. But hardly anyone wants to say the players. And you know what they are the most accountable for their 4-3 record right now.

I know I'm probably wrong but the only person I sense actually gives a shit about winning on Notre Dame is the head coach Brian Kelly and the other coaches. They are the ones screaming until their faces turn Cherry Coke red and trying to get their players to focus and play with a purpose. The problem is the players treat the game like they have already lost. They don't come out wanting to punish the other guy lining up opposite in the disgusting cardinal and gold. At some point playing at Notre Dame has become a sense of entitlement. Sure you have occasional guys like Brady Quinn, Trevor Laws and others who will go above and beyond to make themselves the absolute best they can be but I don't sense it with most of this team.

There is no reason Notre Dame should have lost to South Florida and Michigan to open the season. They should have crushed both of them and if it weren't for the lack of details (turnovers and accountabiiity) and leadership they would have won by 3 TD's minimum in those games. Like Aaron Taylor pointed out the senior leadership is nonexistent. The seniors should he held accountable for the 4-3 record and not Kelly. They were the #1 class coming out of high school. Not Stanford. Not LSU. Not even the mighty Trojans. Notre Dame has the #1 senior class according to the recruiting pundits at the time and yet they got two shitty bowl wins and no top 25 finishes. It's pathetic. Kelly just didn't come to Notre Dame and forget how to coach after being a perennial head coach winner for the past 20 years.

At some point players like Michael Floyd, Harrison Smith, Trevor Robinson, Ethan Johnson, Gary Gray and etc. need to step up and say we are not going down like bitches. We are not going to fumble the ball at the 1 yard line or go for the pump fake for the millionth time. It's all on the players now. And if they don't want to step up and show a little pride and fight for everything they get then they don't need to play.

For me personally I will always love Notre Dame. I grew up with it. I love what Notre Dame stands for along with the traditions and the fact that they graduate players. But at some point Notre Dame has to stop being the nice guy who accepts he won't fuck the prom queen and instead go out and nail every single prom queen in his county. In other words Notre Dame has to stop being a bunch of pussies who hold hands and sing the other teams fight song/alma mater and takes chop blocks and start fighting for the right to party after a victory. Notre Dame has to stop being the punchline to every college football joke and instead deliver every single KO punch come fall Saturday.

Now go out there and kick the living shit out of Navy.

Sincerely,

Every single Notre Dame fan

Yankees Fan Benjy Bronk Upstages CNN Reporter Report on Steve Jobs Biography

Benjy Bronk from the Howard Stern Show managed to get another laugh out of me with his ridiculous antics in front of a CNN reporter yesterday. Like a true Yankees fan he just doesn't know when to shut his mouth. You may remember the Howard Stern lead writer upstaging Anthony Weiner during his resignation with screams of "Bye Bye Pervert!"

By the way do people still pay to listen to Howard Stern talk on the radio? It just seems odd to pay for something that should be free. It's on par with paying for ketchup packets.

Tim Tebow and Demaryius Thomas Are Close Teammates

If you ever had questions about how close of a clubhouse the Denver Broncos had then I think this kiss sealed it for most of you. I'm not about to judge but I've been playing sports all my life and I can't remember one time when I wanted to make out with one of my male "teammates" after a "come from behind" win. Now if you want to talk about a loss then that is completely different.

You are totally vulnerable and it's not gay at all.

Right?

Guys where are you going?

HT: Rob

Notre Dame Has New Helmets

Notre Dame introduced new helmets yesterday with a new "Gold Standard" that has a reflective gold that is closer to the color of the famous Golden Dome. As you can see in the picture above the new helmet on the left looks much better than the old ones on the right which were more mustard color. Unfortunately with the new helmets the tradition of the student managers spraying the helmets before every game is no longer needed. Oh well. These helmets are absolutely incredible looking and should look stand out "Under the Lights" when Notre Dame comes out of the tunnel Saturday night to play USC.

Now if Notre Dame can just get that jumbotron with Rockne Vision installed they will make what is already a perfect gameday atmosphere even better.

Family Feud Gets Raunchy

Hey the Pastor's wife is going for the money so cum sounds like the perfect answer. You can't tell me it's not up in the top 7 things you put in your mouth but don't swallow. Come on Family Feud! By the way I shared a craps table once with Steve Harvey and his "entourage" at the Bellagio in Vegas. It wasn't a high rollers table or anything but you should have seen the way he was dressed and the way he acted. He literally was dressed like a pimp (top hat and shit you not he was in full suit and had a cane) and granted he's not a huge celebrity or anything but he would not acknowledge anybody else at the craps table. He had that "I'm better than you so I'm not going to talk to you" attitude. Essentially it will be the same attitude I'll be sporting this week up at Notre Dame whenever I run into a USC fan. Because seriously fuck those peasants.

Jadeveon Clowney does his best Waterboy impersonation

That boy must drink some high quality H2O. I don't know who I feel worse for on the Mississippi State team. The left tackle who got crossed up and never had a chance to lay a hand on Clowney? Or what about the runningback who tries to step up and block the manchild only to get blown up? Also an argument could be made for the quarterback who gets stripped. Clowney has to be the freshman defensive player of the year.

Offensively there is no question who the best freshman is. He too plays in the Palmetto State. Sammy Watkins of Clemson only put up about 350 total yards against Maryland Saturday night. Watkins is scary good.

Jim Harbaugh Doesn't Have Time For Jim Schwartz' Handshake

I got no pony in this fight but doesn't Detroit Lion's head coach Jim Schwartz look like a total dipshit trying to track down 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh and fight him? I mean come on Schwartz...who you fooling? You are not going to fight Harbaugh. Listen I'm not the biggest fan of Harbaugh since his Stanford team beat Notre Dame the past two seasons but the guy has passion and when you go in for a handshake after an emotional, hard fought win wouldn't you expect a hard handshake with a pat to the back? It just comes with the territory. The Detroit Lions are finally moving in the right direction with a team that is loaded with Megatron and House Of Spears dominating but now I'm afraid you got an idiot head coach who could ruin it all. Schwartz you are the coach. Not the player. Know your role boy.

Tyrann "Honey Badger" Mathieu Video

Thanks for the treat stupid! Honey Badger don't give a shit! He takes what he wants!

Vinnie Verno Occupies Vegas with his Week 7 No Hippies Lock

Alabama -25 over Ole Miss - The Old Elephant Crap Game of the Year
Oklahoma State -7.5 over Texas - The Longhorns Suck Game of the Year
Hawaii -6.5 over San Jose State - The Hawaiian Massacre Part 3 Game of the Year
Toledo -7 over Bowling Green - The Life Savings Game of the Year
Utah State -3.5 over Fresno - The NBA Lockout Schmock Out Game of the Year

Vinnie has 5 blood baths with 5 massacres that will occupy Las Vegas with these picks. Bama and Okie State should shit all over their conference opponents this week. At this point the best teams have to run up the scores to get the voters attention. I've already lost money on Hawaii and Toledo so I'm not touching that shit with Ashton Kutcher's rawdogging cock. The final pick sounds right. Utah State is good and Fresno is fucking terrible. It won't save the NBA but honestly who gives a shit about the NBA?

LSUFreek on Cam Newton

This has to be one of the best ones LSUFreek has ever done. Just perfect. Slow clap.

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Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to take a 175 mph squash ball to the back? This bloke did

Cameron Pilley is the current world record holder for fastest squash ball hit at 175 mph according to his YouTube account. After watching his brother take one straight to the back who am I to argue with speed? Literally there is a chunk of his back dented in from impact. I imagine this is what it felt like to porn actresses back in the day who had the privilege to work with John Holmes. Those Aussies are a lot tougher than they appear. Crazier too.

Via HotClicks

The Avengers Trailer...Fuck Yeah!

Yeah definitely one of those flicks you have to see on the big screen. I'm just going to go ahead and put this out there: The Avengers will smash box office records. Even a semi functional retard like myself can see that. It's like the first time I saw Andrew Luck play against Notre Dame in person or Darren McFadden tote the rock vs Georgia. You just know when you are watching greatness. The Avengers trailer oozes it.

USC Football Has A New Theme Song

I can't wait till Notre Dame sends USC back into the dark ages in 11 days. It's going to be glorious to see the men of Troy cave under their bitch of a coach in Lane Kiffin. Since Kiffin has arrived I'm pretty much positive he's infected the whole program with AIDS. Nobody in their right mind wants to touch them after losing 30 scholarships and a postseason ban of 2 years because of their AIDS. USC is just in a sad, sad state of mind right now. It's time for Brian Kelly and the rest of the Fighting Irish football team to kill them off and give them mercy. RIP USC. Or shall I say FUSC?

Further Proof Virginia Tech Needs to go to the SEC: Lane Stadium Going Crazy

Holy shit I got goosebumps watching the end of this Miami-Virginia Tech game. Metallica's Enter Sandman blaring on the speakers. Hokies everywhere jumping up and down. The place looked like it was going through a fucking earthquake they way it was shaking. This is why Va Tech needs to go to the SEC. They bring passion and emotion and a great atmosphere that you don't see anywhere else. If the SEC wants to continue to dominate the college football landscape I would recommend gobbling up the Hokies and pass on Mizzou.

Video HT: Will Ward

Top 10 College Football

1. LSU-The Mad Hatter completely beat the living piss out of Muschamp and Weis last week 41-11 in a game that wasn't even that close. The Tigers offense isn't spectacular by any means but it is efficient and the defense is right up there with Bama for best in the nation. They should beat the Vols this week by at least 3 scores.

2. Alabama-Bama didn't play great last week but they still covered the 29 pt spread (thank you very much) and handled Vandy with a 34-0 win. If Trent Richardson wants to get more Heisman consideration he is going to have to hope his backup Eddie Lacy doesn't overshadow him. The Tide have a couple of bye weeks ahead with Ole Miss and Tennessee on the schedule before the National Title game Nov. 5th.

3. Stanford-The Cardinal are 5-0 against the spread and continue to absolutely dominate every single team on their schedule. Granted it's not been the best schedule but the fact that Andrew Luck has been near perfect this season and the Cardinal continue to push around the opposition on both sides of the ball tells you how great this team is.

4. Oklahoma-The Sooners dominated Texas behind a defense that created 5 turnovers by a score of 55-17. Landry Jones finally seems to be finding his groove. I could see the Sooners going undefeated and being left out of the BCS Title game especially if FSU which was seen as a quality win continues to shit the bed.

5. Wisconsin-The Badgers had an off week after throttling Nebraska. Looking at their schedule it's a strong possibility they go undefeated considering the Big Ten is kind of shitty and they don't have Michigan on the schedule. Russell Wilson is having a great season but please people, stop with the Heisman talk.

6. Boise State-The Broncos made up for not covering the spread against Nevada the week before by demolishing Fresno State 57-7 last week. Kellen Moore was again near perfect and like Wisconsin I don't see anybody on their schedule beating them. There is a good chance we could have 5 undefeated teams at the end of the year (LSU/Alabama, Stanford, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, and Boise State) and obviously Boise would be left out.

7. Oklahoma State-The #1 scoring offense in the nation put up 56 points in the FIRST HALF against Kansas on their way to a 70-28 win in Stillwater. Granted Kansas has the worst defense in the nation but still, 56 points is damn impressive. The Cowboys have a good team but their defense is fucking terrible. Eventually it will catch up with them. They are ranked 71st in the nation.

8. Clemson-The Tigers slept walk last week against Boston College and still won by 3 TDs. They are on a collision course at Georgia Tech on October 29th in a matchup of what hopefully will be two undefeated teams that don't have a shot at reaching the BCS Title game. Tajh Boyd got a little banged up but should be back this week vs Maryland.

9. Oregon-The Ducks survived a scare when LaMichael James dislocated his elbow vs California but at this point it doesn't matter. The Ducks offense has been unstoppable since losing their opener vs LSU. They could have a tough battle this week vs Arizona State.

10. Michigan-Trust me it pains me to put the Wolverines this high because honestly they aren't as good as their record indicates but they are undefeated and I have to rank them above Georgia Tech and Illinois. They will get a test this week with their in-state rival Michigan State coming to Ann Arbor for a noon clash. It wouldn't shock me to see Denard throw 20 duckfarts up in the air and somehow get 400 yards passing out of it.

Chicks in Thongs Fighting

Usually when I go to a Chinese restaurant I expect a smile, some egg drop soup, pot stickers, and some mongolian beef finished off with a dry fortune cookie. Apparently I've been going to the wrong one since Chin Chin or PF Changs don't have chicks in thongs destroying the shit out of the joint while fighting with no pants on. Seriously what the fuck happened to their bottoms? Trust me I'm not complaining but I'm utterly confused. Have bottoms become optional in Chinese establishments?

College Football Has To Get Rid of The Taunting Rule

In the final outcome it didn't really matter since LSU absolutely throttled Florida and easily covered the 16 points but this new taunting rule is fucking ridiculous. I've watched the replay about 6 times and I can't see anything unsportsmanlike about it. LSU punter Brad Wing was having a little fun going into the endzone and opened up his arms. Big deal. He didn't point at a Gator or flick off anybody or do any high stepping. Are we not allowed to have fun in college football anymore?

The new rule in Section 2 of the NCAA Rule Book says that an unsportsmanlike act (in other words celebrating) will result in "if the penalty occurs before the play is dead, it is ruled a live ball foul and the penalty is enforced from the spot of the foul (where the player's feet are at the beginning of the act)" so not only did Wing get a touchdown taken off his one fucking chance in his life but then LSU got a 15 yard penalty from the spot. This rule is so fucking dumb it's not even up for debate. They are kids who bust their ass and when they finally get a chance at glory the NCAA is going to pull this shit and strip it away. For fucking celebrating?

Obviously I am flabbergasted and feel like I should write a letter to the NCAA complaining about it but then again I am lazy and would rather drink myself into forgetting this ever happened. What I am saying is somebody else needs to contact the NCAA. Just don't do it with your arms spread open or they might pull the Gestapo on you.

LaMichael James is One Tough Hombre

LaMichael James may not be the biggest guy (generously listed at 5'9 185 lbs) but no one can ever question his toughness after this gruesome injury last night vs Cal...


I was watching the game live and when it happened I thought James' right arm exploded. Seriously I almost threw up watching the replay. I thought for sure there was a broken arm, ligaments, elbow, whatever. But nope apparently James is the fucking Terminator who can regenerate himself. Check out his postgame interview...


So yeah there are no broken bones. No ligament damage. And James might play next week versus Arizona State. Holy shit this guy is tough. It takes me weeks to recover from a hard sneeze. But not James. All he has to do is pop his arm back in place, put on a smile, and he is ready to get back on the field.


Yeah no big deal. Just "pop it back in" for James. The junior from Texarkana, TX is no doubt the leader of that Ducks squad. I love his attitude and for a guy who led the nation in rushing last season and currently leads this year you can't ever doubt that he puts everything out on the field. Now excuse me while I go throw up again.

Denard Robinson's Ex Girlfriend Hacked His Twitter Account

Ok let me try to say this as nicely as possible without sounding like a dick and offending my wife, family etc. But what the fuck did Denard Robinson's ex-girlfriend expect? The guy is in college, famous, and probably has every chick with two legs hitting on him and telling him they would do anything for him. Of course he is going to cheat on you. See there is a different code when it comes to famous people and boring people like myself and the other 6 people who read this blog. We don't have females throwing themselves at us. I honestly can't remember the last time a girl tried to get in my pants. And yes I'm including my wife. Love you honey! I can only imagine what it's like for Shoelace. He's the big man on campus. We all know Ann Arbor is a Whore. Denard can't help himself. He's only human. It's like this Ashton Kutcher fucking two chicks in a hot tub story. Of course he is. The guy is fucking famous. Why wouldn't he? I guess I just never understand why these girls get mad when they should know what they are getting into. And the roles could be reverse quite honestly. If I was dating some famous chick, say Jennifer Aniston, I would fully expect her to be banging other dudes on the side. It's a fucked up world but it's the truth. Famous athletes and celebrities don't have to follow the rules. They make them.



Twitter image via BarStoolSports

Vinnie Verno with his LOCKTOBER Picks

Georgia -1 over Tennessee
Texas +10 over Oklahoma
Iowa +4 over Penn State
Alabama -29 over Vandy
South Carolina -21 over Kentucky

Vinnie looks pretty good this week with his picks. Definitely digging the Dawgs Hob Nailed boot pick and the Iowa bermuda grass grows pick. I think UGA wins easily in Knoxville. Nobody in Tennessee wearing creamsicle will be able to stop Orson Charles, Malcolm Mitchell, and Isaiah Crowell. Penn State is complete garbage right now and kind of remind of the Miami Dolphins. I literally cringe anytime those teams are on television because you know it will be the most watered down, boring non fuckfest on tv that day. Bama should cruise over Vandy. But that is a big spread. And honestly I have no clue about Texas and South Carolina covering or beating the spread with their shitty quarterbacks. For all I know Stephen Garcia is shit face right now (chances 99.9%) and "accidently" falls into Marcus Lattimore's leg and Tyrone Prothro's him. So in conclusion I'm going with Vinnie on Georgia, Iowa, and Alabama. But I'm staying away from the Texas and South Carolina picks.

What games do you see as easy money this week? Trust me I need the help. Last week was my first losing week thanks to fucking Georgia Tech and Boise State getting backdoored and Navy getting a bull shit celebration penalty.

Hank Williams Jr. Apologizes for Comparing Obama to Hitler Comments

Hank Williams, Jr. Apologizes from Hank Williams Jr

I think we can all accept Hank Williams Jr. heartfelt apology. He seems contrite. Now WHO'S READY FOR SOME FUTBAWL?

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Colt's Eric Foster Has A Sore Ankle Today

Ouch.

Been there.

Experienced that.

The Colt's season just got a little tougher to handle. Peyton Manning's career is for all intended purposes done and now not only are you 0-4 but you have great guys like defensive lineman Eric Foster going down with flipper ankles. Just absolutely brutal.

Video via TheBigLead

My Top 10 Teams

1. LSU-I'm going to hold it against Les Miles for failing to cover the 3 pts against a shitty Kentucky team this week but if it happens again (Florida this week, cover the 14) then I will drop them to #2. Don't make me do it Mad Hatter.

2. Alabama-Bama has covered every spread this year and dominated in wins over Arkansas and Florida the past 2 weeks. I should probably have them #1 but it's Bama so fuck them.

3. Oklahoma-I'm still not sure what to think about the Sooners. Offensively they are great with Landry Jones but defensively I can't put them up there with LSU and Bama. They did win some big $$$ for me against FSU and if they can do it this week vs Texas I might consider bumping them up.

4. Stanford-Luck and the Cardinal are 4-0 against the spread this year. Why does it matter? Well every week I've bet on Luck and he's been nothing but it. Stanford is the best team nobody talks about because they play on the left coast. They should.

5. Wisconsin/Clemson (tied)-The Badgers have dominated so far and I'm probably underrating them. Clemson has won 3 straight vs ranked teams but they looked bad against Wofford. Both of these teams have a legit chance of going undefeated.

6. Boise State-All they do is win but I'm starting to think they aren't as good as they were the last 3 seasons. The offense has sputtered at times and the defense has given up some big plays. Plus they have not beaten the spread the last 2 weeks and I don't appreciate losing money when they should be blowing out teams.

7. Oklahoma State-I'm still kinda shocked they came back and beat Texas A&M but I shouldn't hold it against them. Offensively they might be the best in the nation. Defensively they are one of the worst. They will get exposed soon. Whatever the over/under is this week vs Kansas go with the over. Trust me.

8. Michigan-3 weeks later and I'm still fucking pissed Notre Dame choked in Ann Arbor. Everyone talks about Shoelace and for good reason but the Michigan defense is playing great under 1st year coordinator Greg Mattison. Right now they are 2nd in the nation in points against.

9. Georgia Tech-The triple option is impossible to stop. Unfortunately for Tech their defense can't stop shit. Next time Tech has the lead by 17 with less than 30 seconds left please take a fucking knee. It's called the victory formation Paul Johnson.

10. Texas-Chances they get completely exposed this week in the Red River Shootout are about 85%. The Longhorns are 4-0 but come on, do they really have a chance this week vs Oklahoma? I'm leaning to NO.

Go Ahead and Give Andrew Luck The Heisman

The best college football quarterback since Peyton Manning had this unbelievable one handed catch against UCLA late Saturday night. I was watching the game and admit I was fully intoxicated at the time after watching Notre Dame and Bama curb stomp their primetime matchups but I literally screamed "HOLY SHIT!" when Luck made the catch. Not only did Luck go 23-27 with 3 TDs and no INTs but more importantly he made me money once again. Stanford covered the 22 points and are now 5-0 against the spread. I've seen all I need to see at this point. Luck is clearly the most outstanding player in college football. It's not even close. Give him the hardware even if Stanford loses to Oregon and Notre Dame at the end of the season. It won't be his fault.

College Football Predictions

Minnesota at Michigan (-20)
Michigan is 4-0 and now Brady Hoke gets his first Big Ten game in the Big House. Expect Denard Robinson to go wild again this week against a 1-3 Gophers team. In a somewhat chilly Ann Arbor the Wolverines should heat up quickly and throttle Minnesota.
Michigan 49 Minnesota 20

Kentucky at LSU (-30)
Total mismatch here. LSU is 4-0 against the spread so far and I'm not about to jump off that money train. The Tigers should run wild against an awful Kentucky squad.
LSU 52 Kentucky 7

Northwestern (+10) at Illinois
Illinois is 4-0 for the first time since 1951. All 4 games have been won at home but they had to comeback and beat Western Michigan a week after squeezing out a tough 3 point victory over Arizona State. Northwestern gets their QB back in Dan Persa. I expect a close game and with Northwestern the huge dog I'll take them.
Illinois 24 Northwestern 21

Georgia Tech (-11) at NC State
Tech is off to their best start since they won the National Title in 1990. NC State is fucking terrible. Georgia Tech leads the nation in points per game, total yards and is 2nd in rushing yards. NC State is 110th in the nation in rushing. Have I mentioned NC State is fucking horrible? Well they are. Plus Tech is 4-0 against the spread so far.
Georgia Tech 45 NC State 17

Baylor (-4) at Kansas State
Two unexpected undefeated teams square off in Manhattan. You know about Baylor and Robert Griffin III. They are third in the nation in total yards and third in the nation in scoring averaging a staggering 51.3 points. Kansas State is coming off an emotional win over Miami. This has letdown game written all over it.
Baylor 42 Kansas State 34

Clemson (+7.5) at Virginia Tech
If you haven't seen Clemson play this year then you are missing one of the most exciting teams in college football. Freshman Sammy Watkins is a special player and he might be the most explosive player in the nation besides Denard Robinson and Robert Griffin. The Hokies again are the favorites to win the ACC and they also come in at 4-0. It's in Blacksburg so I got to favor the Hokies but I think it will be a close game. Gotta take Clemson and the points.
VA Tech 34 Clemson 31

Alabama (-4.5) at Florida
In this kind of close, tough battle games in the SEC it often comes down to who is the better QB. Right now I got to favor Bama's AJ McCarron over Florida's John Brantley. Brantley is going to need to throw the ball beyond 10 yards to attack a vicious Bama defense. He won't have much luck if any. Bama rolls in this one.
Alabama 35 Florida 17

Nebraska (+10) at Wisconsin
Wisconsin hasn't played anybody this season and will be facing their first tough game versus Nebraska in Madison. This is Nebraska's first Big Ten game ever. The Badgers haven't been tested this season but they will tonight. It should be a great game and I expect to come down to a last possession battle.
Nebraska 27 Wisconsin 26

UCLA at Stanford (-21)
Stanford is the best team in the PAC 12 and UCLA is one of the worst. UCLA is giving up over 30 points a game and today they get to face the best pure drop back college football quarterback in the last 20 years in Andrew Luck. Luck will go wild and this game will be over by the third quarter. Rick Neuheisel needs to be fired now.
Stanford 45 UCLA 10


Notre Dame at Purdue (+10.5)
Yeah I know Purdue is horrible and Notre Dame should cruise but in recent history these games have been close. It's a night game in West Lafayette and this is basically Purdue's Super Bowl. I expect Notre Dame to win but it will be close. Notre Dame is 1-3 against the spread so you might as well bet against them again.
Notre Dame 27 Purdue 24

American League Preview and Predictions

Detroit Tigers (95-67) vs. New York Yankees (97-65)

Regular season: Tigers won 4-3

PITCHING

The Yankees are all about C.C. Sabathia and for good reason. The big guy is a proven winner in big games and this season he again was dominant despite fading down the stretch. After C.C. the Yanks are relying on rookie of the year candidate Ivan Nova who hasn't lost a start since June 3rd. There is no fucking way they start A.J. Burnett or Bartolo Colon because not only do they look like gremlins but they both sucked donkey dick this year. So I guess Freddy Garcia will be the 3rd starter and...holy shit...I just looked at Garcia's stats (12-8 3.62 ERA) and he wasn't bad. Shows you how much I paid attention. Yanks have a good bullpen and have an up and comer named Mariano Rivera closing games. You may have heard of him.

Detroit has Justin Verlander who despite his good stats is NOT A FUCKING MVP CANDIDATE! Verlander will go in games 1 and 4 while Doug Fister (best midseason acquisition this year) pitches games 2 and 5. Fister was lights out down the stretch and actually outpitched Verlander. Maybe we should give him the MVP? Enough of the rambling rants, the Tigers have the best closer in the game in Jose Valverde but it will be interesting to see how he pitches in the playoffs. PRESSURE!!!!

ADVANTAGE: Tigers by a slight margin

HITTING

The Yankees hit most homeruns in the majors with 222. Their lineup is sick with Curtis Granderson, Mark Teabag, Robinson Cano, and Alex Rodriguez (if the swelling in his labia goes down) all capable of hitting a shitload of homeruns in that little bandbox stadium they play in. You know Jeter will come through because he is the greatest player to ever wear the #2 jersey for the New York Yankees and both be black and white at the same time. Intangibles and leadership right there.

Detroit has a pretty formidable lineup also with Miggy Cabrera and Victor Martinez capable of driving in a ton of runs. My fantasy team relied on SS Peralta and C Alex Avila this season and they put up All-Star numbers but couldn't quite get me to the finals. Kind of disappointed guys. Next year clean that shit up and perform for me. Enough of my fantasy team, the Tigers have a good lineup but not as good as the Bronx Bombers.

ADVANTAGE: Yankees

COACHING

Dude it's baseball. Just don't fuck up the lineups and make sure you know when your pitchers are done or not. It isn't rocket science.

ADVANTAGE: Jim Leyland's Marlboro

PREDICTION: Tigers in 5



Tampa Bay Rays (91-71) vs. Texas Rangers (96-66)

Regular season: Texas won 5-4


PITCHING

The defending AL Champs have some of the best starting pitching in the majors this season. Lefty CJ Wilson won 16 games and had an ERA under 3. Lefty Derek Holland won 16 games and had a great second half. They have playoff experience (honestly doesn't mean shit) as does Colby Lewis and Matt Harrison. 3 lefties and a righty should present matchup problems for Cano and Granderson. The Rangers also have a strong bullpen with closer Neftali Feliz at the backend.

Tampa Bay is starting Matt Moore in game 1. No I'm serious. The kid who hasn't only started one game in the majors. Whom am I to argue though? Maddon knows his baseball shit. They also have Shields, Hellickson, and Price in the rotation. While their starters matchup pretty well with the Rangers their bullpen doesn't. Kyle Farnsworth is closing games. Enough said.

ADVANTAGE: Rangers

HITTING

The Rangers have the second best lineup in the playoffs behind the Yankees. Josh Hamilton, Nelson Cruz, Ian Kinsler, Adrian Beltre, Mike Napoli, and Michael Young are all crushing the ball. They got shut down last year in the World Series but I think they will be hot versus the Rays.

Tampa on the other hand doesn't have a formidable lineup. Sure they have Evan Longoria but his bat struggled for a large part of the season. Zobrist and Joyce were pleasant surprises and BJ Upton could get hot and steal some bases but I just don't like their lineup. Not even close to the Rangers.

ADVANTAGE: Rangers

COACHING

Hey fuckface did you not hear me the first time? Coaching in baseball is all about not fucking up. With that being said Joe Maddon is a fucking genius who somehow got the Rays into the playoffs with his glasses and his beautiful hair.

ADVANTAGE: Rays

PREDICTION: Rangers in 4

Friday Funbags

Until next week fellas...

Philanthropy with Vinnie Verno: Week 5 Picks

New Mexico +2
Georgia Tech -11.5
Arkansas State -13
Alabama -4
Stanford -20

Vinnie finally got on the winning side last week so I think I might ride along with some of these picks. I got Tech, Bama, and Stanford all covering. The only one I'm kind of worried about is Stanford. Yes I know Rick Neuheisel still coaches at UCLA and that in itself is a fucking joke but it's still hard to believe Stanford...fucking Stanford...keeps beating the shit out of their opponents and cover every single game. I mean they have to be due for at least one minor hiccup right? Granted I think they win easily I'm just kind of afraid of a 3 touchdown spread. With that being said I'm going to stay on the Trees bandwagon and ride it till they lose.

Georgia Tech Football Be "TRIPPY"

Apparently this is the rap song they play at Bobby Dodd Stadium during the games. It sounds really shitty but if "TRIPPY" gets you Ws and over 700 yards of offense who am I to argue? Hell they can be smoking crack and killing prostitutes but as long as they beat Georgia and win the ACC those hell of an engineers aren't going to judge. I'm pretty positive it's in the bible.

"The Gundy" Remix Version

I think I like this one best.

Adrian Gonzalez Blames God For The Red Sox Epic Failure

Well there you go. It wasn't the awful pitching from the Red Sox in the last month. It wasn't a complete collapse from the whole roster with the exception of Jacoby Ellsbury. It wasn't high priced free agents Carl Crawford or Adrian Gonzalez not doing shit the second half of the season to help the Red Sox clinch the Wild Card. Nope. It was God's plan all the time. He didn't want the Red Sox to make the playoffs. When you can't blame it on yourself or look yourself in the mirror why not blame God. Shit he had a plan. It makes perfect sense now. This should make Boston rest easy.

Via BarStoolSports

Greatest MLB Night Ever

If you are a baseball fan or sports fan in general last night was one of the greatest nights ever. You had 4 teams battling for the final Wild Card spot in their respective leagues with two of the teams (Atlanta Braves and Boston Red Sox) trying to avoid a historical collapse. Both the Braves and the Red Sox needed just one more out in the ninth with their closers on the mound to live another day and delay the epic collapse of each. Both miserably failed.

In Atlanta Tim Hudson pitched a stellar game and Dan Uggla hit a huge 2-run HR to give the Braves a lead in a game for the first time in about a week. The Braves entered September with a 8 1/2 game lead in the Wild Card but found themselves locked into a tie with the St. Louis Cardinals after going a miserable 7-20 in the last month. All seemed to be finally right at The Ted when leading 3-2 in the ninth when rookie Craig Kimbrel entered to close it out. Kimbrel who entered with a MLB rookie record for saves was clearly overthrowing from the first pitch. It had been 5 days since he last threw in a game and his adrenaline seemed to get the better of him. He walked 3 Phillies, gave up one hit, blew the save, and got taken out in the ninth for a guy in Kris Medlen who had pitched only once all season after coming off elbow surgery. The game would extend into extra innings but it didn't matter. You knew the Braves were going to lose. The Braves always choke when it comes to do or die games in late September/October. Trust me. I've been there. Seen that. Many of times. The Cardinals on the other hand behind the twice surgically repaired right elbow of Chris Carpenter did their job and shut out the Astros to complete an improbable Wild Card run.

It wasn't as much as the Cardinals getting hot but the Braves just completely shitting the bed in the last month. Trust me the Cardinals and their players deserve credit. They won when they had to in big situations. But the Braves finished off the season losing their last 5 games and their hitters all slumped down the stretch. New addition Bourn was terrible. Prado couldn't hit .200 in the last month or get the ball out of the infield. McCann was pressing and looked completely lost. Heyward was benched and quickly has become one of the biggest busts in baseball. Uggla was again swinging at anything within 3 feet of the plate. Yes the Braves lost starters Jair Jurrjens and Tommy Hanson to injuries and Derek Lowe was the worst fucking pitcher you've ever seen take the mound in his last 5 starts but it was the hitting that let them down. If the Braves scored 3 runs in a game it seemed like they had erupted for 20. And as much as it pains me to say it if the Braves had Tony LaRussa as their skipper they would still be playing with a solid shot at a World Series. New manager Fredi Gonzalez didn't want to play small ball or try to squeeze out a few runs with steals, hit and runs, bunts, and sacrifice flies. Nope he wanted to go all Earl Weaver and hope for the 3-run homer would save the day. It never happened and his gross mismanagement of the pitching staff throughout the season killed the bullpen and the Braves chances of bringing home a 2nd World Series title to Atlanta. The Braves have a 25 man roster built to win 100 games. Gonzalez led them to 89.

In Baltimore the Red Sox needed just one more out from closer/douchebag Jonathan Papelbon to insure they could play the Rays in a one game playoff who had comeback to tie the Yankees 7-7 after being down 7-0 in the eighth. A long rain delay in Baltimore kept the Red Sox in the clubhouse where they could watch the Rays make the improbable comeback against their hated rival the New York Yankees. You may have heard the Yankees and Red Sox don't like each other. Papelbon got the first two batters with easy K's against sluggers Adam Jones and Mark Reynolds. He then had Chris Davis at the plate with Nolan Reimold to follow. Both roped doubles off 98 MPH fastballs to tie the game. Then light hitting utility man Robert Andino stepped to the plate. The winning run at 2nd base in Reimold. The crowd at Camden Yards rocking for what seemed like the first time in over a decade. The Orioles are dead last in the AL East but the fans and players were treating this game like it was game 7 of the World Series. Andino ropes a 1-1 pitch to left fielder Carl Crawford who can't make the catch. The throw home is too late. The Orioles walk off with the win and the Red Sox look dead. Awesome.

Three minutes later in the Tropicana the Rays crowd goes nuts as they flash the Red Sox score on the scoreboard. The cowbells are clanging. Evan Longoria is at the plate. Tied game in the 12th. And like the superstar he is Longo who hit a huge 3 run blast in the 8th came through with the walk off homerun. Pandemonium in Tampa. The Rays had come back from 9 games in early September, down by 7 runs in the 8th and won the AL Wild Card.

This was the greatest regular season day of baseball in Major League history. Two epic collapses by two storied franchises that will be passed on from generation to generation. It was great theater. Personally I went from the low of lows when the Braves lost and knowing the season was over to the mountaintops when my other favorite team in the Orioles came back to beat the Red Sox and then flipped to the Rays game to see Longoria clinch the Wild Card with a laser beam down the left field line to beat the Yankees. This was one of those moments that not even Bud Selig could fuck up. Now I can't wait to watch the playoffs. Game on!