Coaches Preseason All-SEC Team Announced

Interesting the coaches picked Aaron Murray over Johnny Manziel and A.J. McCarron. Seems logical. This is what I think of it...



But other than the QB pick and maybe some of those offensive line picks it looks about right.

OFFENSE
First-Team
QB – Aaron Murray, Georgia
RB – Todd Gurley, Georgia
RB – T.J. Yeldon, Alabama
WR – Amari Cooper, Alabama
WR – Jordan Matthews, Vanderbilt
TE – Arthur Lynch, Georgia
OL – Jake Matthews, Texas A&M
OL – Cyrus Kouandjio, Alabama
OL – Gabe Jackson, Mississippi State
OL – Antonio Richardson, Tennessee
C – Travis Swanson, Arkansas

Second-Team
QB – Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M
RB – LaDarius Perkins, Mississippi State
RB – Tre Mason, Auburn
WR – Mike Evans, Texas A&M
WR – Donte Moncrief, Ole Miss
TE – Rory Anderson, South Carolina
OL – Anthony Steen, Alabama
OL – Ja’Wuan James, Tennessee
OL – Wesley Johnson, Vanderbilt
OL – *A.J. Cann, South Carolina
OL – *Chris Burnette, Georgia
OL – *Zach Fulton, Tennessee
OL – *Jon Halapio, Florida
C – Reese Dismukes, Auburn

Third-Team
QB – AJ McCarron, Alabama
RB – Alfred Blue, LSU
RB – Keith Marshall, Georgia
WR – *Odell Beckham Jr., LSU
WR – *Malcolm Mitchell, Georgia
WR – *Dorial Green-Beckham, Missouri
TE – *Brian Vogler, Alabama
TE – *C.J. Uzomah, Auburn
OL – La’el Collins, LSU
OL – David Hurd, Arkansas
OL – Justin Britt, Missouri
OL – Aaron Morris, Ole Miss
C – James Stone, Tennessee

DEFENSE
First-Team
DL – Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina
DL – Dominique Easley, Florida
DL – Anthony Johnson, LSU
DL – Chris Smith, Arkansas
LB – C.J. Mosley, Alabama
LB – A.J. Johnson, Tennessee
LB – Denzel Nkemdiche, Ole Miss
DB – Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Alabama
DB – Craig Loston, LSU
DB – Andre Hal, Vanderbilt
DB – Loucheiz Purifoy, Florida

Second-Team
DL – Kelcy Quarles, South Carolina
DL – Daniel McCullers, Tennessee
DL – *Ed Stinson, Alabama
DL – *Xzavier Dickson, Alabama
DL – *Jeoffrey Pagan, Alabama
LB – Lamin Barrow, LSU
LB – Jordan Jenkins, Georgia
LB – Adrian Hubbard, Alabama
DB – Damian Swann, Georgia
DB – Marcus Roberson, Florida
DB – E.J. Gaines, Missouri
DB – Deion Belue, Alabama

Third-Team
DL – *Dee Ford, Auburn
DL – *C.J. Johnson, Ole Miss
DL – *Ronald Powell, Florida
DL – *Alvin Dupree, Kentucky
DL – *Denico Autry, Mississippi State
LB – Avery Williamson, Kentucky
LB – Benardrick McKinney, Mississippi State
LB – *Ronald Powell, Florida
LB – *Trey DePriest, Alabama
DB – Deshazor Everett, Texas A&M
DB – Nickoe Whitley, Mississippi State
DB – Vinnie Sunseri, Alabama
DB – Charles Sawyer, Ole Miss

SPECIALISTS
First-Team
PK – Carey Spear, Vanderbilt
P – Kyle Christy, Florida
RS – Odell Beckham Jr., LSU
AP – Bruce Ellington, South Carolina

Second-Team
PK – Cody Parkey, Auburn
P – *Tyler Campbell, Ole Miss
P – *Cody Mandell, Alabama
P – *Steven Clark, Auburn
RS – Marcus Murphy, Missouri
AP – Odell Beckham Jr., LSU

Third-Team
PK – *Andrew Baggett, Missouri
PK – *Zach Hocker, Arkansas
P – Michael Palardy, Tennessee
RS – Bruce Ellington, South Carolina
AP – LaDarius Perkins, Mississippi State

* – Ties


List Via Saturday Down South

SportsCrack 2013 Preseason All-American Team

Don't worry looking into your Phil Steele magazine or Sporting News or Playboy or whatever magazine you get your preseason preview from. This is the ultimate list. The SportsCrack All-American list is 99.9% accurate. We know our shit. We live college football. We are out doing the tailgates in the spring when those other shit stains are focused on trivial things like family. So without further ado here is the All-American Preseason 2013 team.

QB Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M - He's got a Heisman in his backpocket. He also has some Benjamins. On the field he is the best QB in the nation and the most important player for his team. Off it he is Johnny Fucking Football. The most entertaining college football player since Reggie Bush IMO.


RB Todd Gurley, Georgia - The first half of Gurshall exploded on the scene during his freshman season in Athens. Plus he's a Baltimore Orioles fan so he has impeccable taste. And herpes. A lot of that goes around the Classic City. Or so I've heard.


RB Lache Seastrunk, Baylor - Winner of the dumbest name award this kid can flat out fly. Doesn't get a lot of pub since he plays for Baylor but that will all change this season.


WR Marqise Lee, USC - Just another great USC wide receiver who won't live up to his hype in the NFL. I mean he is really good. He won some awards last year for an awful Trojans team so I'm sure 2013 will be another Groundhog Day for him.

WR Amari Cooper, Alabama - One of the most fluid receivers I can remember, Cooper brings back memories of Jerry Rice. Only a sophomore he should be AJ McCarron's favorite target.


TE Austin Seferian-Jenkins, Washington - The most talented tight end in the nation just needs to stay healthy and keep his nose clean. He has done neither this year. Still the best tight end in the nation.

T Cyrus Kouandjio, Alabama - Alabama grows dominate offensive tackles like they grow meth.

T Taylor Lewan, Michigan - I know this may be flabbergasting to ESPN and all those SEC cuckholders but Lewan pretty much dominated Clowney in the bowl game.

C Gabe Ikard, Oklahoma - A loyal SportsCrack customer since high school Gabe will now be blocking for the Belldozer.

G David Yankey, Stanford - Yankey proves Nerds can play football and dominate at the same time.

G Cyril Richardson, Baylor - Will be opening up gapping holes for Seastrunk all year.

All Purpose De'Anthony Thomas, Oregon - The Black Mamba could win the Heisman if he gets enough touches.


Kick Returner Stefon Diggs, Maryland - Only a sophomore this kid's play is electric.




DE Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina - Listen Clowney is obviously a very good player. But he's not nearly as great of an all-around player as ESPN and the rest of college football media has made him out to be since the hit he put on Michigan. Still he's better than any other defensive end.


DT Louis Nix, Notre Dame - Irish Chocolate is an immovable object that destroys everything in sight. Go back and watch the BCS Championship and specifically watch his play. Nix more than held his own and often dominated against what is probably college footballs greatest offensive line collectively in Alabama.


DT Will Sutton, Arizona State - Dominating force inside who had double digit sacks last year.

DE Stephon Tuitt, Notre Dame - Up to 325 lbs Tuitt was dominating last year until a hernia curtailed his production. Still had double digit sacks and once again will be a force for an impressive Notre Dame defense.


OLB Anthony Barr, UCLA - Just ask Matt Barkley how good Barr is at linebacker.


ILB C.J. Mosley, Alabama - Actually kinda shocking he came back for his senior season in Tuscaloosa. Must have not wanted to take a pay cut for the NFL. Who can blame him? He's the MVP of a stifling Bama defense.

OLB Kyle Van Noy, BYU - This Stormin'Mormon is a heat-seeking missile who's about as sounds of a tackler as you will find in the college game.

CB Bradley Roby, Ohio State - This Buckeye was one of the few bright spots on a suspect D last season. He also returns punts at an All-American rate.

CB Ifo Ekpre-Olomu, Oregon - My apologies go to Lache Seastrunk. The Oregon Duck who forced 6 fumbles last season clearly has the most fucked up name.

S Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Alabama - His parents were clearly high when he was delivered. Who the fuck names their kid Ha Ha? I guess LOL seemed inappropriate.

S Ed Reynolds, Stanford - Another Stanford nerd makes the team. If you haven't noticed they have been playing pretty good football the past 4 seasons.

K Cairo Santos, Tulane - He was perfect (21 of 21) in field goals with a long of 57 yards. Plus he doesn't rape chicks like the Michigan kicker. Two pluses in my book and in life.

P Kyle Christy, Florida - A punter with the last name of Christy huh? I guess Fairy would have looked too gay for the Gaytors.

Revenge of the Nerds: Nick Selby Delivers Epic Speech at Georgia Tech

I'm ready to run through a fucking wall right now. Georgia Tech student Nick Selby has my marbles all tingling with straight fire after this epic freshmen welcome speech.

THIS IS GEORGIA TECH!!!

PS - They will still get worked by Georgia. But at least their players can spell their own names.

FOXSports1 Reporting Notre Dame is in Trouble

It's official. Notre Dame is fucked. Might as well cancel the season according to this report from FoxSports1 College Football Kickoff Show. They lost head coach Brian Kelly along with WR Michael Floyd and safety Harrison Smith this offseason. But all is not lost since LB Manti Te'o is still playing for the Blue and Gold.

Great job by FoxSports1 breaking this story. I'll be sure to tune in for more breaking news.

Via @Doug_Whitehorn

Pam Oliver Got a Pigskin Facial From Andrew Luck

Gotta keep your head on a swivel at all times. A veteran cougar like Pam Oliver should know that.

Via BarStoolSports

Livin' The Hug Life Baseball Vintage Heather Navy Shirt

This is our new shirt called "Livin' The Hug Life." It's a vintage style shirt. Heather navy Hanes tagless 50/50 shirt. Distressed screen printed graphic. Soft feel. Very huggable t-shirt.

Order today! Shirts start shipping August 23rd and are limited edition!

Tennessee and Adidas Reveal New Vols TECHFIT Uniform

This will be the first and probably only time you ever hear these words come out of my mouth when it comes to a Tennessee Volunteers football uniform: I like them. In fact I think these should become their permanent uniforms. The black/charcoal color looks really good. I know the Volunteers faithful are religious demigods about their helmet but if they could have made those matte black with the orange T popping on them then it would have been absolute perfection.

Brian Kelly Leads Running Back Cam McDaniel Into a Hilarious Fail Moment

Poor Cam McDaniel. The third string tailback had to be the first to run into the backwards gauntlet sled after head coach Brian Kelly yelled "NO, IT'S NOT BACKWARDS!"

You can see Kelly trying to withhold his laughter after he realizes he fucked up. Luckily McDaniel wasn't hurt. His ego on the other hand?

Atlanta Braves Bat Boy Handles The Real Thing

A live bat landed in the infield last night during yet another Phillies ass whooping by the hands of the Atlanta Braves at the Ted. Infielder Paul Janish scooped up Bruce Wayne fearlessly and delivered him to the bat boy. The bat boy then proceeds to take the bat into the Braves dugout and like a breaking curveball Dan Uggla totally flinches as usual.

Michigan State Pulls The Fake Mannequin On It's Players and Coaches, Hilarity Ensues

I guess the Spartans forgot that whole "coach Mark Dantonio had a heart attack" issue from a couple of seasons ago because holy shit they pulled a fast one on him. Luckily for Michigan State he took it like a good sport and didn't drop dead on the spot. That would have been awkward.

Video of Tom Brady's Knee Getting Shredded

Buh-bye sweet prince. I guess we can go ahead and scratch out the New England Patriots as Super Bowl contenders. Oh wait never mind. They got Tebow. Hallelujah. The Messiah is back!

Which New Coach in the SEC Has the More Embarrassing Song: Butch Jones or Brett Bielema?

The SEC fan bases can be a little "eccentric" at times. In other words they are so obsessed with their teams they have to find a way to express their love and devotion through musical lyrics. Unfortunately for new head coach Butch Jones some dipshit...I mean "fanatic"...created a song in honor of the first year coach. It's about as pretty as the checkered end zones in Neyland.



And not to be outdone are the Arkansas faithful with "I'm a Bielemer" tribute song.



So which one is more embarrassing?

I got to go with Arkansas. Only because two assholes decided to participate in it.

It's Been 700 Days Since Michigan Scored A Touchdown vs Notre Dame

We are still 17 long days till college football kicks off but that is nothing in compared to the last time Michigan scored a touchdown against Notre Dame. It's been 700 days. I wouldn't worry about Michigan though. They are a really close knit team.



Those two were made for each other.

Top 5 College Football Entrances

1. Virginia Tech's "Enter Sandman" into Lane Stadium is electrifying. Goose bump city. I would run through a wall coming out of the tunnel to that crowd and song.



2. University of Colorado with Ralphie the Buffalo running wild on the field. Some people like sideline reporter Jim Knox just can't handle the overall awesomeness of a wild beast running rampant in Boulder. It's about the only thing worth watching when it comes to Colorado football.



3. FSU's Spear in the middle of the field is fucking epic. Never been a Semen holes fan but I can admit their entrance is one of the best in college football.



4. Tennessee's running through the "T" formed by the Pride of the Southland Marching Band is a tradition unlike any other in the SEC.



5. Clemson coming down the hill in Death Valley after touching Howard's Rock brings chills to the purple and orange faithful.



Honorable mention: Wisconsin's Jump Around. Only because it is between the third and fourth quarters is why it doesn't get into the top 5 entrances. Still awesome to see so many drunks in Madison going crazy.

No Way Jose...Iglesias Does Nearly the Impossible

Unfortunately this play didn't make it on SportsCenter last night. If it doesn't involve Johnny Football, Tim Tebow, Aaron Hernandez, A Roid, or some faux racism angle it just doesn't make the cut on ESPN. Sad but true. Anyways it's a hell of an acrobatic play by Detroit Tiger's shortstop Jose Iglesias to get the out at first. Detroit better watch out for the stampeding train gaining traction on them in the Kansas City Royals. KC is only 6.5 games back in the AL Central and with their young talent they should be a fun team to watch down the stretch.

Notre Dame Fighting Irish 2013 SHAMROCK SERIES HydroFX Revolution Speed Mini Helmets For Sale

Here is the link to buy the new Notre Dame 2013 Shamrock Series Mini Helmets made by HYDROFX. The mini helmets are limited edition and the helmets and face mask are specially painted by HYDROFX. We are taking PRE ORDERS now and shipping starts August 20th. Be sure to get your order in ASAP because we are only getting in 50 of these in stock.

ND 2013 Shamrock Series Mini Helmet by HydroFX

Boob Grab at PGA Championship

Via BustedCoverage comes this orchestrated boob grab from the PGA Championship. In terms of boob grabs it loses a point because it was so planned out. Boob grabs are always better when they just come out natural. Like oh hey there's a boob. Grab it! In terms of overall boob they look like a handful. In terms of funny it's about a 5. Not bad but not that great either. But then again there are no bad boob grabs. None. Especially on live tv.

Johnny Manziel's Attorneys Predict He Will Start Vs Rice, Appear to be a Firm Called Broke and Back

Yes those are the official pictures of lawyers representing Johnny Manziel. No that is not Champ Kind from Anchorman and they do not represent Broke and Back. They are actual Texas lawyers. And they believe their client Manziel will play vs Rice.

"I can't say much," Darnell told USA TODAY Sports, "other than we're working through the process. He's cooperating with the investigation. We think when all this comes out on the other end, he'll be the starting quarterback for the Aggies against Rice."

Well that's all we needed to know. When you are facing two attorneys with cowboy hats you have little to no chance of beating them. It's just common knowledge. Don't ever fuck with a guy wearing a cowboy hat.

See you game day Johnny Football.

The Old Ball Coach Doesn't Need His Stinkin' Shirt

AND GET OFF HIS PRACTICE FIELD!!!

I gotta give it up for Steve Spurrier. The guy has finally hit speed dial for bat shit crazy. There is no going half way here with Spurrier. Just pure unadulterated old man tit-tahs. Spurrier knows something. Probably that his Cocks are going to finally win the SEC East because their schedule isn't overloaded with SEC West powerhouses while Georgia and Florida play the little sisters. Not this year fellas.

Sick tan by the way. Not even kidding. His tan is winning.

The Pirates Have Cracked The Matrix and Sit in First Place

They said it couldn't be done. It's been over 20 years since the Pirates even sniffed a playoff game or even had a winning record. But The Marte has helped change all that. He is the one.

Well one of many who have helped Pittsburgh into first place in the NL Central. Currently they have 69 wins to 44 losses and sit 3 games ahead of the St. Louis Cardinals. With 49 games left all they have to do is go 13-36 to insure a winning season. But these Buccos have much bigger plans. If they only go .500 ball then they win 94 games and would probably win the division and most certainly will be guaranteed a Wild Card spot. Are they a World Series contender? I have a hard time believing it. But then again I didn't think Starling Marte could pull a Neo. So anything is possible.

The US Open Starts Today in Oak Hill, Check Out Rory McIlroy's Pad in Florida

Yeah I know this video of Rory McIlroy's home down in Jupiter, FL has nothing to do with the US Open starting in Oak Hill Country Club up in Rochester, NY today but I've always been fascinated by athlete or celebrities homes. Like where do they keep the dead hookers? Are the slaves always in the bottom dungeon? Just a few of the questions that pop in my head along with number of bedrooms and bathrooms. Since ESPN keeps getting away from actual sports highlights I say they do a show just on athlete's homes. It can be hosted by Darren Rovell and sponsored by Nike and Bose. Nice pad by the way McIlroy. But it's missing a key ingredient: Guinness tap. I thought all rich Irishmen had one of those.

Carolina Panthers Organization are Good People, Let Jack from Make-A-Wish Foundation Coach For a Day

Awesome video. Major props go out to the Carolina Panthers for making one of Jack's wishes come true. Who wouldn't want to coach a NFL team for a day?

Jack sounds like he has some coaching chops in him. Hell he already is taller than Nick Saban. Go get 'em Jack!

Video via ExtraMustard

Peyton and Eli Manning Rap "Football On Your Phone"

Peyton Manning and Eli Manning are obviously not rap artists but I can say with 100% certainty that this "Football on your Phone" rap song is a million times better than anything Jay-Z has produced. It's not even debatable. So good job Manning brothers. You guys have more game than that rich fucker who says he owns the Brooklyn Nets but really doesn't and is more fake than the "baby" he conceived with Beyonce. Awesome.

PS-Do people actually use DirecTV willingly? I had it for about three weeks nearly a decade ago and all I remember is it going out if you sneezed or farted too loud. You might as well hold bunny ears over your flat screen you cheap ass.

Top Ten Trick Plays of College Football

Just to wet your appetite. I know you can taste the blood. It's almost here. College football heaven.

Les Miles Bitched Out and Let Team Vote Jeremy Hill Back on LSU Team

Total bitch move here by LSU head coach Les Miles. Sophomore RB Jeremy Hill was caught on tape sucker punching some dude in the back of the head and will not serve any kind of suspension. Yeah that should teach Hill a good lesson. The lesson being if you rush for 755 yards and score 12 TDs your freshman year you can pretty much do anything you want. Shit he might as well get in his car and run the guy over now.

PS-No joke Jeremy Hill might be the best runningback in the SEC. I know Bama and Georgia fans could argue this for days with TJ Yeldon and Todd Gurley both beasts but Hill has that extra something special. He's the kind of back who could beat the shit out of you without even looking. Yeah that type.

Anastasia Ashley Warm-Up Routine Involves a Whole Lot of Twerking

I'm going to have the "Bubblebutt" song in my head all day. Honest to God this is the first time I've ever heard of this Anastasia Ashley chick who apparently is a professional surfer. It's also the first time I've ever heard of that Bubble Butt song. I felt it was my due diligence (code for Google image search) to find out more about Anastasia and these are the best shots I found. She's talented.

Video via BigLead

Who would have thought Anastasia enjoys working out too? I figured her as a Twinkie eating couch potato. And by Twinkie I mean...never mind.

Johnny Manziel Likely To Be Suspended For Signing Autographs For Money, Picture is Proof

Another new week and yet another new Johnny Manziel controversy. And this one is more than likely to get him suspended.

Allegedly Manziel received 5 figures to sign multiple photos, jerseys, and mini helmets down in Miami back in January before the BCS National Title game from an autograph broker. There were multiple witnesses in the hotel room when Manziel signed the items. If AJ Green can get suspended for 4 games for selling his Liberty Bowl jersey for $1000 you have to imagine the NCAA or Texas A&M will suspend him for as many games if not longer. It's a clear NCAA infraction and every football player knows the rule. While I can agree the rule isn't really fair for the athlete because I think they should be given a chance to make money off their own name it is still a rule and a violation on Manziel's part. He has to be suspended.

Which royally sucks because I wanted to see him play vs Bama. Everybody wants to see Johnny Football play. The only problem is he keeps making stupid decisions off the football field and now this will cost him and his team big time. Some people just can't handle the Heisman hype. And it's not like Manziel needed the money. The kid has rich parents who send him everywhere and he doesn't even have to go to class. His Dad gave him a new Mercedes just because he didn't want Johnny to accept improper benefits. It's pretty clear that Johnny can't handle the spotlight. And you know NFL personnel are taking notes on this.

My prediction is Texas A&M will withhold Manziel from the first two games in hope of appeasing the NCAA and then have him play vs Bama Sept 14th. Just a wild guess on my part.

Image via Joe Schad

Two Russians Too Drunk To Fight

I can only imagine this is what I look like back in my college days after a tough Saturday in the fall.

Chicago Cubs Fan Doesn't Know Proper Trough Toilet Etiquette

While it is a bit shocking to see a Cubs fan peeing while standing up at one of Wrigley's piss troughs at least he isn't dropping a deuce in there. Too many Old Styles for this poor guy. You never go full ass in the men's pisser. Never. Ever.

Image via BarStoolSports

Notre Dame Unveils 2013 Shamrock Series Uniforms

Via adidas.com press release...

adidas and the University of Notre Dame today unveiled alternate TECHFIT football uniforms the Irish will wear on October 5 for their annual Shamrock Series game. Notre Dame will face off against Arizona State in this year's Shamrock Series game at Cowboy Stadium in Arlington, Texas.

Notre Dame's new Shamrock Series adidas TECHFIT jersey is all-white with metallic gold and Kelly green shamrock accents, Celtic numbers and an interlocking "ND" logo on the back neck. Notre Dame's Kelly green adidas TECHFIT baselayer highlights "FIGHTIN' IRISH" on the chest and "ND" on each bicep. Notre Dame's helmet features Notre Dame's signature textured gold with a gold chrome shamrock detail on each side and a Kelly green chrome face mask. The Irish will wear adidas Team Speed vertical socks with Crazyquick and adizero 5-Star 2.0 cleats.

I got to say these new Shamrock Series uniforms are tight! I love the clean look to them and I really dig the helmet with the matte finished Shamrock on it and the metallic green facemask. Now I just need to get my hands on one of those helmets. I'm sure we will have them up for sale in the near future.

J.B. Shuck's Amazing Over The Fence Into the Stands Catch

This has got to be the catch of the year right? Angels outfielder J.B. Shuck sacrificed every one of his limbs in going over the fence and into the stands to rob the Blue Jays Jose Bautista of a home run. Not only does he make the catch but he has the wherewithal to fire the ball back into play to prevent the runner on base from advancing. Sick catch brah!

Oregon's New Football Performance Center is Amazing

Very impressive Oregon. You just one upped Bama in terms of ridiculous football facilities. And people want to bitch and complain about the football players not getting enough compensation for their services. Shit. I wish I had a state of the art facility I could use every day in college to prepare me for the next level. On top of that a free education, food, room and board, clothes, women, fans, etc. Yup college football players at Oregon have it rough. Poor slaves.

Video via SI.com

Further Proof Soccer Players are the Biggest PussBalls in the World: Cristiano Ronaldo Throws Out First Pitch To Yasiel Puig

World's greatest athlete my ass. My 2-year old daughter has a better arm than this "athlete" named Cristiano Ronaldo. Apparently he's some famous soccer playing fairy. And yes I get it soccer players don't use their hands or arms but throwing a baseball is one of the things you have to do in order to survive. It's like the assholes you always hear about drowning at Lake Lanier every summer. If you don't know how to swim why the fuck would you go swimming or near a body of water? Ronaldo only uses his arms when he's doing reach arounds his teammates so why the hell would he be allowed to throw a first pitch at a real sporting event? It just makes no sense. People who can't swim and Ronaldo should be grateful they survived this long because God obviously hates them.

Video via ExtraMustard

American Hustle Trailer

Holy film licking testicle balls. It's like the film gods read my mind and decided to put all of my favorite current actors in one movie. Bradley Cooper? Check. Christian Bale? Check. Amy Adams? Check. The goddess Jennifer Lawrence? Check! Jeremy Renner? Check. Fuck the story I just want to go see Cooper's perm for all it's glistening glory. Add some guns, 70's clothing, and a Scorsese feel to it and I'm sold.

Riley Cooper Used The N-Word at a Kenny Chesney Concert

I'm not sure what is more embarrassing for Philadelphia Eagles WR Riley Cooper. Using the N word is obviously very stupid and wrong but we are talking about a guy who plays for the Eagles who also sports a pony tail while taking in Kenny Chesney concerts. Plus he was a teammate with Aaron Hernandez and Tim Tebow at the University of Florida. Poor racist pony tail white receiver who plays in Philly.

Cooper apologized for getting caught using the racist word and now Michael Vick's outstanding citizen brother Marcus has put a bounty on his head. Life should be grand for new coach Chip Kelly. No controversies at all.

Braves Rookie Todd Cunningham Collected His First MLB Hit Last Night, Has A Rap Video Called "Rock Yo Jock"

With another injury to an Atlanta Braves outfielder rookie Todd Cunningham got called up last night and collected his first career hit in his first career at-bat. When Cunningham isn't rocking line drives to left field he is rocking the mic with his debut song "Rock Yo Jock." It's some sort of rap song about Christians and the birds and the bees and blah blah blah. The rookie needs to stick with baseball. Leave the christian rapping to the head fryers at Chick-Fil-A.

Video via TheBigLead

Miami Reliever Chad Qualls is as Graceful as a Swan

Tiger Woods has nothing on Marlins reliever Chad Qualls in fist pumps. Just pure grace and determination by Qualls. The newest attraction in that monstrosity of a stadium they got in Miami should be Niagara Qualls.

This Bengals Fan Has The Tailgate Like A Champion Look Perfected

A bearded 6-pack? Brilliant.

Social Experiment: Asking Guys For Sex

I don't see what the big deal is. This kind of shit happens to me everyday. I have to constantly remind my wife how lucky she is to have won this once in a lifetime prize. For the other 99.9% of dudes out there this must have been unusual. Sort of like someone handing you the winning lottery ticket for no good reason.

Via HotClicks

Johnny Football Smoked Some Weed, Drank Some Beers, and Got Kicked Out of a Texas Frat This Weekend

All in all I would say it was a just a normal summer weekend for any college student. Except the guy in the pink shirt getting thrown out of an University of Texas frat party doesn't go to school there. In fact he plays for a hated rival. He also owns a Heisman Trophy and comes from an extremely rich family. So while everybody is putting the microscope on Johnny Manziel he is still out living his life. One beer pong, one bong toke at a time.

Winning. Except I'm not sure the Johnny Football nickname is appropriate anymore. Manziel has been all about NOT football since their bowl game when they absolutely trucked the shit out of Oklahoma. He's Johnny Hangover. Johnny Drama. Johnny I might be losing millions in NFL signing bonus money because I can't keep my fucking nose clean.

Whatever. Roll on playa. We are just here to watch the shitshow for all it's glory. It's like watching a real life sequel to The Program and Manziel is doing his best Joe Kane impression.


Beer pong and Bong Rip pictures from BarStool Sports

Notre Dame Hydrofx Mini Helmets For Sale

These bad boys just came in stock for the first time ever. Now available are the Notre Dame Fighting Irish HydroFX Revolution Speed Mini Helmet NEW GOLD. These are perfect for the hard to get Notre Dame fanatic. Looks great in any office, homebar or tailgate!

Alex Rodriguez is a "Dog" according to Taiwanese Animation Report

I seriously want all my news delivered in Taiwanese animation. The comedic level takes it up an extra notch.

With Ryan Braun getting suspended for the rest of the season after lying about his PED use I think it's time for commissioner Bud Selig and the players union to make a huge statement with the latest Alex Rodriguez Biogenesis scandal: lifetime ban. A-Roid is a cheater. He's a disgrace to the game way more than Pete Rose. He has effected games good or bad for numerous seasons and still cheats it everyday. He should no longer have the ability to earn a living off of it. Throw him out. Kick him to the curb. And clean up the sport.

Jason Heyward Makes Game-Saving Diving Catch in 9th, Chipper Chews Out Mets Fan on Twitter

It's the bottom of the ninth inning and the Atlanta Braves are clinging to a one-run lead with runners on first and second. The Mets Justin Turner takes a 1-0 gift of a pitch from closer Craig Kimbrel and rocked it to left center. A sure double off the bat and a winner for the stinkin' Mets. But center fielder Jason Heyward had different plans. In only his fifth game playing center field Heyward saved the game with an unbelievable catch.

Chipper Jones got an interesting response from a bitter Mets fan on Twitter. Chipper's response was classic...

Alabama's New Football Facilities Are Incredible

Well if you ever expected a Bama football player to actually attend class then this new football only facilities will no doubt squash those expectations. This is the definition of football factory. Bama just shit all over Oregon in terms of decadence and bravado with their new facility. Am I jealous? Fuck yeah I am. Good luck to the rest of the SEC when trying to get a recruit over Bama. One look inside this place and all the first round draft picks and you can pretty much count Bama as the destination for elite recruits.

Chris Davis AL Record 37 Homers Before The All-Star Break

Baltimore Orioles slugger Chris Davis joins only Jimmie Foxx and Babe Ruth to hit at least 30 homers, drive in 90 runs, and hit .315 before the All-Star break. It's been a breakout season for Crush and the scary thing is despite the great numbers he still is not the leading MVP candidate. That would be reigning Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera. Miggy's stats are even better than last season. The only way Davis wins the MVP is if he keeps up his torrid pace and breaks Roger Maris record. It can be done but I think he will end up in the mid 50s in homer total. A great season no doubt. The more important thing is getting the Orioles back to the playoffs. Davis is doing his part but they need guys like Matt Wieters and Brian Roberts to step up their offensive games while the starting rotation needs to go at least 6 innings deep to give their bullpen some much needed rest.

Johnny Manziel Addresses Hangover Questions at SEC Media Day

I thought Johnny Football handled the questions pretty good. Look we all know he got shitfaced Friday night with the Mannings and AJ McCarron. The problem is he is still underage and he can't answer the questions honestly or he will not only get himself in trouble but Peyton and Eli too. He overslept the next day of the camp and was kicked out by Archie Manning. Shit happens especially when you are 20 years old. But I will say the media and more importantly NFL teams have a right to grill Manziel on his partying. If you are going to invest millions in a wildcard you have to do your due diligence. Johnny Football needs to get back on the football field because this whole offseason he has turned himself into Johnny Drama aka Johnny Hangover with all the late night shenanigans. I would probably do the same thing if I was a rock star college QB with a Heisman Trophy in my back pocket. Actually I would do the same thing. But I don't have millions in the bank waiting for me on my first job interview. So maybe just clean it up a little bit Manziel. We all want to see you beat Alabama again. But we also want the drama too. Fuck it just keep being yourself Johnny.

What do you think about Johnny Football and his off the field partying?

Video via TheBigLead

Matt Harvey Asks Clueless New Yorkers About Matt Harvey

Granted New York Mets fans aren't the brightest bunch but I can almost guarantee this would happen in every other baseball city. Hell I didn't even recognize All-Star starter Matt Harvey without the hat and I follow baseball religiously. Just like I'm sure a lot of Cardinals fans wouldn't recognize Adam Wainwright or Braves fans with Kris Medlen. Most Yankees fans would think C.C. Sabathia is the guy who does the weather on NBC's morning show rather than pitch for the pinstripes. But this Jimmy Fallon skit is funny because it shows how clueless we can be even if the guy asking us about Matt Harvey is in fact him. Come to think of it the Mets still play baseball?

Via TheBigLead

Golden Army 14 Shirts #goldenarmy14

SportsCrack.com is again teaming up with The Turning Point to deliver a great shirt to get you into the football spirit. Last year was the Irish Mob and they delivered one of the best classes in 20 years. This year we have the Golden Army 14. These shirts come in both 100% cotton and Hanes Cool-Dri performance (100% polyester that wicks away the moisture from the body).

Order your official #goldenarmy14 shirt today!

Carly Rae Jespen Threw Out The Worst First Pitch of All-Time

Unless we can find some retard who throws it backwards singer Carly Rae Jespen has the worst first pitch ever. My two-year-old is more accurate. Seriously. Michael J. Fox was seen visibly shaking in the Rays crowd no doubt from laughing so hard. Am I right?

The Pouncey Brothers Show Their Support For Aaron Hernandez With Free Hernandez Hats

Well if the police were looking for two mystery accomplices to murder I think we found them. Gators going to gator. Snitches get stitches. Now we know why Urban Meyer high tailed it out of Gainesville.

From the NY Daily News...

The Pounceys have been linked to Hernandez’s off-field activities as police continue to probe Hernandez’s past for clues relating to current murder charges he faces. In 2007, the Gainesville (Fla.) Police Department mentioned the Pounceys in a report after investigating a double shooting. Police wanted to speak with Hernandez about the shooting but he invoked his right to have an attorney present. No charges were ever filed. Hernandez, ex-Jags safety Reggie Nelson, and Mike and Maurkice Pouncey had been in a Gainesville nightclub on the night of the shooting. Hernandez was 17 at the time.

I know what you were thinking. It's probably just a big coincidence. Double shootings happen all the time. Just like one of Hernandez's boys winding up dead near his house. I can't tell you how many double shootings and murders just pop up around me. It's obviously not a me problem. It's a society problem. Yeah let's go with that thinking.

New Hey Urban Liar Snitches Get Stitches Shirt

From Gainesville to Ann Arbor to South Bend and beyond many in the college football world are yelling at Urban Meyer: "HEY URBAN LIAR, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!"

Now you can get the shirt that will be the hit at any tailgate, party, wedding, Sunday school, prison, etc. This is the people's shirt. Comes in both navy and royal. Pick your poison and feel free to snitch about it to everybody you know.

And before you even ask yes Aaron Hernandez has already bought a murderer's dozen for all his new buddies.

This is a Shirt we can back: Hugs For Votes #VoteFreddie

Atlanta Braves designated hugger/first baseman Freddie Freeman is in a competitive All-Star vote war with rookie sensation Yasiel Puig for the final spot. Of course everybody on ESPN has been shilling for Puig to make the All-Star team so some of Freeman's teammates thought it was time to show their support for their favorite hugger on the team. The t-shirt is a subtle hint that Freeman not only delivers the best hugs but he also delivers when runners are in scoring position and he deserves your vote. So do your part and #VoteFreddie today. ESPN even has the PTI guys doing their dirty work. This is openly campaigning for Puig to make the All-Star team despite only playing a little over one month of the season.

Carlos Gomez With The Game Saving Over-The-Fence Catch To Rob Joey Votto

With two outs in the ninth and the tying run at 3rd base Joey Votto stepped to the plate. Votto delivered a crushing blow to straight away center in what appeared to be the game-winner. But Brewer's centerfielder Carlos Gomez had other plans. With a steady pace to the outfield track and a snug lean into the fence Gomez hopped like he was on a small trampoline and took away Votto's majestic shot. No guts. No glory. Brewers win.

Manny Machado Has A Decent Arm

Manny Machado just turned 21 on Saturday. He's on pace to beat Earl Webb's record 67 doubles in a season. But the highlight of his season might be this incredibly strong throw across the diamond. Not bad kid. Not bad at all.

Everett Golson Talks About His Future At Notre Dame

Well this makes me feel a little better. Not much. Get your shit together Golson. Too much is on the line to get kicked out of school when greatness is on the cusp of reality.

Happy Birthday America!

On this July 4th don't ever forget what America was founded on. The 3 B's. Boobs, Beer, and Baseball. Get all of it today. America. Fuck Yeah.

You Think Homer Bailey Gives A Fuck About His Second No-Hitter?

Spoken like a true professional. Homer Bailey, covered in shaving cream pie after pitching his second no-hitter of his career, could give a fuck about his measly walk in the 7th inning. You got to love the honesty.

Notre Dame Authentic Game Model Footballs For Sale $99

We only got 24 left of the Notre Dame Authentic Game Model Footballs with the iconic leprechaun on them for $99. That's $50 off what the ND Bookstore is selling them.

EDIT: Make that 22 left. Order your official #NDFB today!

Kate Upton Topless On A Horse Will Break The Internet

TMZ.com has the earth shattering video.  We all win with this one.

Tony Soprano is Dead...RIP James Gandolfini

Tough news here for the SportsCrack family.  The Sopranos was our favorite show back in college.   Every Sunday night was must watch TV on HBO with James Gandolfini playing the iconic Tony Soprano.  Gandolfini was only 51 years old when he passed yesterday in Italy.  RIP big man.  You will be missed.

Tailgate Like A Champion T-Shirts Only $5 Today!

Today only you can get the world famous TAILGATE LIKE A CHAMPION t-shirt for only $5.  For less than a meal you can get a shirt that makes you the life of any tailgate or party.  Raise your hand if you need a beer...might as well get this guy two!

ORDER HERE!

El Oso Blanco Breaks Bat Over His Back

The Redwood Forest wouldn't have a chance if El Oso Blanco resided in it much less a flimsy Louisville Slugger over his back.  Evan Gattis is a tough hombre.  All day strong.

NBA Players Read Mean Tweets On Jimmy Kimmel

The truth can hurt sometimes.  It can also set you free.  These mean tweets nearly made me pee.

Viva Puig...Puig Knows Shirt

In the immortalized words of Vin Scully: "VIVA PUIG!"  The Cuban sensation has taken over the baseball world in his first 4 career games.  Los Angeles can't get enough of Viva Puig so we figured a shirt was due.  The 5-tool athlete can hit the ball out of the park in all directions, gun out base runners from the warning track, and his all-around hustle has revived a team.

He's the new Bo Jackson.  Puig Knows.

Get the Viva Puig Shirt Here!

#VIVAPUIG

#PUIGKNOWS

Classic Lebron "Ricky from Boys in the Hood" Flop Action Right Here

The Legend of El Oso Blanco

Courtesy of 680 The Fan's Rob Jenner comes this classic clip called "The Legend of El Oso Blanco."  Evan Gattis has already become the man, the myth, and the legend with his 10 homers, beard, rawdogging it with no batting gloves approach to hitting and the way his teammates love him.  The White Bear needed a great tribute and now he has one thanks to Jenner.  Well done sir.  Well done.

PS-I love the little dig they did on Yunel Escobar.  Whatever happened to that frosted tip d bag?

Koji Uehara Goes Pearl Harbor on Shane Victorino

I hope the Flyin' Hawaiian is okay after taking this blindsided high five from teammate Koji Uehara. I haven't seen that kind of surprise on a Hawaiian's face since Ben Affleck died in that awful Pearl Harbor movie. I'm kind of disappointed Koji didn't scream "BONSAI!" right before slapping Victorino. You gotta do it to keep up team morale right?  It's the American way after all or something like that.

Fun fact: I had no idea Uehara was still in the league.  He was one of my favorite Orioles a few years ago because he always seemed like a big team guy whether starting or coming out of the bullpen.  But what makes him a legend in Baltimore is he got traded to the Rangers for Tommy Hunter and some 25-year-old slugger Chris Davis.  Yes the same Chris Davis who leads the majors in home runs and extra base hits.  And now Hunter is the best arm out of the bullpen for the O's.  Not a bad trade at all for the Orioles.  Laughs maniacally.

Michael Bourn With The Charity Homer For Miguel Cabrera

Seriously Michael Bourn. I don't think the Triple Crown winner needs any more help. Hey we all fuck up here and there. It's just part of the game. But this was almost up there with Jose Canseco taking a header for a homer in terms of fuck ups. Laugh all you want Bourn but coach Lou Brown is not going to put up with this shit much longer.

This Deer vs Bus Video is Priceless

The dubbing in with sound is perfect. This is a 5 star Youtube video if I have ever seen one.

Evan Gattis With Another Pinch Hit Homer in the Bottom of the 9th

He may only be a rookie but there is little doubt El Oso Blanco is a living legend.  At this rate I can't wait to see the 30 on 30 special on Evan Gattis.  This is getting beyond a Hollywood script.  It's almost unfathomable what Gattis has done in the first quarter season in an Atlanta Braves uniform when just 3 years ago he was out of baseball.  Gattis was literally living in a van down by the river and now he is hitting Gattis Bombs in clutch situations in the Show.



Buy the original and still the best El Oso Blanco shirt here!

Some Guys Just Can't Handle Preakness

Spiderman he is not.  When you give 100,000 people an unlimited amount of beer and booze cases like Peter Parker here are bound to happen.  The good news is he is alive and barely kicking.  The bad news is his dignity has been lost for eternal YouTube satisfaction.

Hard To Believe It's Been 15 Years Since This Classic Orioles and Yankees Fight

These were the good old days.  When everybody was all hoped up on steroids and pitchers weren't afraid to throw inside.

Granted the Orioles Armando Benitez deserved a beating for hitting Tino Martinez intentionally with a straight 98 mph heater to the middle of the 2 and 4 but you don't see brawls like this anymore.  The Orioles and Yankees hated each other.  There was still bad blood over the whole Jeffrey Shitface kid robbing the Orioles of a playoff victory.  Daryl Strawberry was still a cocaine sniffing douche who couldn't land a punch to save his life even when it would have been a sucker one from behind.  Tino Martinez had no intention of fighting Benitez (who can blame him and it's only after the benches clear that Tino tries to fight) but it's funny that Bill Nye the Science Guy aka Graeme Lloyd comes all the way from the bullpen to start throwing awful haymakers at Benitez's mug.

Now that I think about it maybe Brady Anderson wasn't on steroids.  He's one of the few not even trying to fight.  He's calm and collected.  Of course so is Rafael Palmeiro and Chad Curtis and we know they were roiders.  Robby Alomar didn't even spit on anybody.  Hall of Famer Eddie Murray screaming at Strawberry in the dugout is the basically the ending to this classic.  It just sucks that it took the Orioles another 15 years to be relevant in the AL East because we could have had some classic showdowns instead of those overhyped ESPN fueled Yankees-Red Sox garbage games.

Shay Maria Dancing in a Bikini Looks Athletic

I have no idea who Shay Maria is but I don't care.  She just made Monday a lot more interesting.  I'm clearly talking about that awesome back tattoo.  Well done Shay.

Johnny Manziel Reenacts Famous Bama Play With First Pitch in San Diego

I think it goes without saying that Johnny Football is living the high life.  The Heisman winning QB got to take batting practice yesterday at PetCo Park before doing an impressive impression of his famous Alabama play.  Mark Kotsay caught the ball behind his back but that isn't even the story.  Kotsay still plays ball?  I thought he retired years ago.

By the way the Heisman patch on the right arm is a little over the top right?  We get it you won the Heisman.  Maybe it's an automatic panty dropper patch.  That must be it.

Russian Youth League Hockey Fight Now Has Over 400k Views

Vitali and Sasha would be so disappointed in these kids.  You rip off the helmets first before you punch kids.  It's basic fighting 101.

An Epic Catfight at Steeplechase

This is what happens when rich white kids have too much to drink.  They get smacked around in their loafers and tucked in pink shirts.  Thugs.

I might have to attend Steeplechase one of these days.  I just can't imagine dressing up like these assholes.  This isn't a board meeting you fucking losers.  It's a horse race with tailgating.  Unless you actually own one of the horses there is no reason to be dressed like Patrick Bateman.

PS-Nice pantyless shot by the girl in white who went down quickly.

Double PS-The Blonde in pink is one of those angry drunk chicks who starts crying and bitching about her life after two glasses of wine.  Just do yourself a favor and shut it.

Bryce Harper vs Dodger's Outfield Wall

The wall always wins.  I'm not sure why Bryce Harper ran into the wall so directly with his face.  The warning track is there for a reason.  To give you a fucking warning that a metal wall is right in your face.  Harper could be seen asking if he made the play.  Not exactly Bryce.  The Nationals would go on to win the game 6-2 and Bryce will be ok.  His dignity not so much.

Ever wonder what a pitcher's elbow looks like in slow motion? Yeah...it's gross

Mommy make it stop!

The Ray's Joel Peralta's elbow is not suppose to look like Kevin Ware's busted ass leg but it does.  Just think how uncomfortable Tommy John is right now looking at this while he fiddles with his soft scar.

Via Rays Index

Saturday Night Live's Michael Jordan's Wedding Sketch Was Saved By Dikembe Mutombo's Finger Wag

You can't go wrong with a Dikembe Mutombo finger wag.  Otherwise this was just another pitiful SNL attempt at humor.  Why is the Good Burger kid on there?   Has he ever been remotely funny?

New Irish Chocolate T-Shirts

We are taking pre-orders now on the brand new IRISH CHOCOLATE AND THE SACK FACTORY T-Shirt.  Comes in two colors: Irish Green and Dark Chocolate.  These tagless tees are 50% cotton / 50% polyester to give it a soft vintage feel.  Comes in adult sizes Small-3XL.  If you would like a different size not available please email us and we will do our best to meet your needs.

Shipping starts this week so get your orders in quickly.  This will be a limited edition shirt and once they sell out that is it.

It Was That Time Of The Month For Umpire John Hirschbeck, Throws Out Bryce Harper Because He Disagrees With His Shitty Umpiring

Good lord.  Can you be anymore of a pussy there John Hirschbeck?  So what if Bryce Harper disagreed with your bullshit check swing call.  You don't throw the guy out of the game.  Some of these umpires need to realize that people don't come out and pay good money to watch their fat asses throw out star players for shit like this.  If anybody needs to be investigated by Major League Baseball for game fixing it's Hirschbeck.  I'm going to say he had big money on the under and/or Pittsburgh Pirates winning and figured the best way to win his bet was by throwing out Bryce in the first inning.  Clown move bro!

In my opinion Hirschbeck needs to serve an unpaid suspension for this.  I'm not saying the ballplayers should have free reign to shit all over the umpires but to throw out somebody for simply arguing that it was a bad call is not a good reason for an ejection.

What do you think?

Video via TheBigLead

Celtics Scrub Jordan Crawford Told Carmelo After The Game: "Dat Muhfucka Fucked Yo Wife!"

Classy HoneyNut Cheerios move by Jordan Crawford.  I got $100 that says Melo snaps out of his funk and goes off on the Celtics in Game 6.  You don't talk about someone's wife like that.  Even if she does taste like HoneyNut Cheerios which are delicious by the way.

I Miss Hockey

This Stanley Cup Playoff promo video brought back a flood of memories.  There is no better team sport to watch in person than hockey.  It's electric.  There is no taking plays off like baseball players do running down the first base line.  It's pure grit and determination to get the ultimate prize: Lord Stanley's Cup.  When the Atlanta Thrashers moved to Winnipeg because of their dipshit owners and GM I gave up on hockey.  I was too pissed off and hurt to even bother watching it anymore.  But now after seeing this video it makes me want to watch again despite not having a team allegiance.  I got to pick a team to root for though so with my Maryland roots I'm going for the Washington Capitals, the former hated Southeast division rivals of the Thrashers.  I've always liked watching Alex Ovechkin.  The guy has a personality to match his enormous talent.  Plus he fucking loves to mess with Sidney Crosby so that is cool.  Go Caps!