Manny may be the answer the Bravos are looking for!

Rueters Photo

If rumor comes to fruition, Manny Ramirez may be put on waivers by the Dodgers in the coming days. As a Bravos fan, what do you do? Interesting debate going on over on Jeff Schultz's blog on the AJC. Check it out for yourself, but some very interesting points are brought to light, namely, Ramirez is hitting .317 with a .516 slugging percentage in 186 at bats this season. Compliment that with 554 career home runs and two World Series rings. Yes, he's been hurt, but there is no denying a glaring hole in the Brave's line up now that Chipper is out and Glaus has been anemic since the All Star game. Can the Brave's pass up on a line up that would consist of

1. Infante (2B)
2. Prado (3B)
3. Heyward (RF)
4. M. Ramirez (LF)
5. McCann (C)
6. Glaus/Hinske (1B)
7. Gonzalez (SS)
8. Cabrera/Ankiel (CF)
9. Pitcher

All that and the deepest bench in baseball? You'd still have Diaz, Conrad, Ross and Hinske/Ankiel/Cabrera depending on who started at any given time.

Manny has lived in Manny-Land for a long time, but was Deion Sanders much worse? It's not like Bobby hasn't dealt with a head case before and it's not like Manny was always this way. He was quite harmonious with the BoSox back in the day so it's not out of the question for him to actually play baseball. I'm sure a 3rd ring is a mutual interest and 10 out of 10 baseball players say they would love to play for Cox.

What better way to send Cox out than pushing all your chips in and picking up the best hitter available? It's not like the Braves haven't done anything ridiculous before when they thought they were in the pennant race. Remember the Mark Texeira deal a couple of years ago? The Braves entire farm system for a half year of Tex who the Braves swore would be likely to stay.

The price to pick up Manny would be approximately $5 million for the remainder of the season, much of which could be picked up due to the insurance policies on Chipper and being able to have the remainder of this year's salary being paid by that insurance. What is the true cost to the Braves? If Freeman isn't ready to be called up, they HAVE to get a bat.

AP Photo

I know the guy has been dubbed a cancer, but with the mutual interests of winning it all, having a manager who has proven he can lead almost anyone, Bobby's final season, a stellar pitching staff, and a legitimate run at the World Series at stake, my vote is for Manny. Let's face it, this guy could honestly get off a plane, show up at the game, not stretch, not even warm up with the ball boy in left, put on a helmet and batting gloves, and absolutely rake. He's not much more of a liability defensively than Diaz and he's going to hit both lefties and righties like it's his job (news flash, that is his job). Head case or not, I'll take the rest of the season with Manny and a final push for the play offs. He could more than make up for the lack of Chipper and be the answer to Ryan Howard, Albert Pujols, and any other slugger the Braves face down the stretch. I'm jumping on the Manny train now! Who's coming with me?

Check out Jeff Schultz's blog on the AJC website here.

As always, leave some comments and post Sportscrack's blogs on Facebook and Twitter. Comment away, share with your friends, buy a T-Shirt, and let Matt know he's doing a great job. Let's face it, the guy's head really isn't big enough already.

Pitching Jesus, I mean Stephen Strasburg, calls out Bryce Harper

Hi pot, I'm kettle, you're black...

Here's some food for thought, in an article written by the Associated Press and released on ESPN today, Stephen Strasburg had the balls to call out Bryce Harper for not signing. And I quote:

"If [Harper] wants to play here, he's going to play here," Strasburg said Sunday, after pitching five innings in the Nationals' win over Arizona. "He doesn't need advice from anybody to convince him otherwise. If he doesn't want to play here, then we don't want him here."

Really?!? Is this some kind of a joke? The same kid who held out for a record $15.1 million dollar contract literally SECONDS before midnight on the signing day deadline has room to call out ANYONE on signing day for holding out? Both of them are represented by Scott Boras, who you would think has the brains to shut one of his clients up in the interest of both of them getting more money in the end. Strasburg has pitched in the majors for all of 2 1/2 months and he is the one from the Nationals calling out Harper? Where is Ryan Zimmerman, the apparent clubhouse leader? How does Strasburg entertain the idea that he has earned the right to call out anyone?

For the record, I agree with Strasburg's comments, I just can't see how someone who did the same exact thing a year ago today can justify "pointing fingers" at anyone for holding out and weighing his options for the possibility of being drafted next year by a different team. Maybe the 17 year old Harper wants to develop a little more, maybe he isn't ready, maybe he enjoys college, or maybe this is just one more scam to get Strasburg and Harper's names in the press to further push for the ROY (Rookie of the Year for the baseball illiterate) award for both this year and next year considering Harper has apparently already locked up the ROY, Triple Crown, Gold Glove, and Batting Title for 2011. Who knows, but man, Strasburg must have balls the size of his 100 MPH fastball. I bet they don't even make a cup big enough for that guy.

Personally, I think he should just transfer to UGA and play a couple of years. We could use a National Championship in baseball and apparently Harper is a one man team. In fairness, the kid is an absolute STUD (please excuse the man crush). After all, we do have the number 1 rated party school in the country and Harper is only 17 years old. Seems like a good fit to me!

Check out the full Associated Press Article posted on ESPN here.

PS... Keep it classy kiddos and root for the Bravos tonight. Hanson vs. Billingsley, 7:10 ET at the Ted. Should be a great game!

NORTH CAROLINA'S DEFENSE SHOULD BE STOUT

If there is a big time sleeper in college football this season it might just be the North Carolina Tarheels. The Tarheels have the #1 rated defensive end (Robert Quinn), the #1 rated defensive tackle (Marvin Austin), the #1 rated inside linebacker (Quan Sturdivant), and the #1 rated outside linebacker (Bruce Carter) in the nation according to Phil Steele. Now arguments could be made amongst college football fans that any or none of these guys are really the best in the nation (personally I would take Iowa's Adrian Clayborn over Quinn and also Michigan State's Greg Jones over Sturdivant) but there is no doubt the Tarheels are going to have a sick defense. Their front 7 will all be playing in the NFL.

North Carolina had the best defense in the ACC last year and they do have 19 returning starters. The question though remains how did a team with so much defensive talent who is also led by a coach with the credentials of Butch Davis only finish 4-4 in conference play? Because the offense was anemic. I saw first hand how bad the offense was when the Tarheels played Georgia Tech at the Flats and they only scored 7 points. Georgia Tech's defense was nothing to write home about. And with the uncertain status of their best offensive player in WR Greg Little (ineligible along with Marvin Austin for the Miami agent party) I wouldn't be expecting an offensive explosion from the Tarheels this season.

But can the defense shut out teams? Sure they can. They start off the season with LSU in the Georgia Dome. We should know right away whether North Carolina is a legit ACC contender if they can handle LSU on a neutral field. Their conference opener is two weeks later with Georgia Tech visiting. Tech owned them last year and North Carolina has lost their last 9 conference openers. I have a feeling Paul Johnson is relishing his role as an underdog this season with the Jackets. So right away unless North Carolina brings their A game they could very easily be 0-2 going into a road game with Rutgers.

The defense should be fun to watch all season. There will be plenty of hard hits and helmets flying. But North Carolina is not a legit contender for the National Championship game in my opinion. In fact I think they will have a hard time even winning the Coastal Division with Miami, Virginia Tech, and Georgia Tech all returning experienced quarterbacks who are elusive and can scramble against their blitzing defense.

Prediction: The Hokies win the Coastal Division and the ACC. North Carolina finishes 5-3 in ACC play with losses to either GA Tech, Clemson, Miami, FSU, and Virginia Tech.

LEE CORSO THINKS TIM TEBOW WILL BE STARTING BY WEEK 6

ESPN'S Lee Corso thinks the Friar Tuck will be starting in Denver by the second month of the season according to the Orlando Sentinel...

"I think Tebow, by the sixth game, will be the quarterback," Corso told the Orlando Sentinel Wednesday. "It will take some time for him to get in do a few things, make a mistake or two and learn from his mistakes. I think he's going to be a good quarterback."

I think Corso failed to remember that the Denver Broncos do have Kyle Orton and Brady Quinn who both have experience in an actual pro style offense and will be given first shot to start. Tebow is a project. A huge one to be exact. Unless both Orton and Quinn go down with injuries or fail miserably I seriously doubt we will see Tebow start a game in the 2010 season. In fact I feel so dumb after reading these comments from Corso that I will let Dean Vernon Wormer speak for me...


Not enough? All right well then let's give this guy a shot at SportsCrack's reaction to Corso thinking Tebow will be starting by week 6....

As if the news of not calling up Freeman didn't suck enough...

News flash, Wren and Cox are calling up Brandon Hicks who is hitting a whopping .215 (full stats here on MLB.com) from Gwinnett. Wow... Amazing the Braves are conceding to Philadelphia despite having a rotation that can contend with anyone and a team that has that something special all major league teams dream about, CHEMISTRY.

Well good luck Mr. Hicks. I've officially jumped off the Frank Wren train. Dealing the cancer that was Yunel Escobar was brilliant, not calling up your best player who's shown he's ready is completely ridiculous. If Mark Cuban is so intent on owning a pro baseball team, let him buy Atlanta from Liberty Media. Maybe then we'd have a team like Turner put together, we'll spend money on players, and we'll take chances on our prospects who have proven themselves.

Wait... prospects?!?! Yes... we would actually HAVE pro-ready prospects! Am I the only one who remembers when the Braves stocked the best farm system in the league year after year after year? Who's seat just got hotter, Mark Richt or Frank Wren? My vote?!?! See ya Frankie boy. Good luck with the Marlins or the Nationals. Okay, not quite time for him to go yet, but wake up before your job really is on the line. Check out the Dave O'Brien blog on the AJC website here.

ONE WEEK FROM TODAY: THE KIDS IN THE HALL ARE BACK!

Some of you may be too young to remember "The Kids in the Hall" and for this I apologize for your parents. They clearly neglected you and you should just go ahead and cut your losses. For those of you who do remember watching "The Kids" on HBO and/or Comedy Central will be absolutely ecstatic to know that they return next Friday on IFC. I think it stands for Idaho Fried Chicken. You might want to look it up. In all seriousness you owe it to yourself and your family and friends to watch "Death Comes To Town" if you like to laugh. If you have Netflix you should check out "Brain Candy." Hysterical movie from the mid 90's that I think only me and my college roommates watched in the continental USA. It just goes to show you how fucking stupid us 'Mericans can me when it comes to entertainment. People will go out in mindless flocks to see Adam Sandler's latest piece of shit (yes, I am Sandler fan from his CD's and early movies) but they won't support the Canadian Kids. Listen, I get it. Canadians can be scary. But they can also be very funny and they speak English. Eh!

Watch it! Don't make me smack you around...


Oh jeez...love chicken.

UGA Number 3?

As an admitted complete and total biased Alumn, UGA rocks my world, but ranked #3? Come on, I get that #64 is just a teeny bit of a stretch (as ranked by the Orlando Sentinel), but # 3?!?!? That's almost as far of a stretch the other way. College Football news, as reported by Tim Tucker of the AJC, recently ranked UGA #3 in the nation. That's right folks, the nation, not the SEC East, not the SEC, not in the greater south area, the NATION. This puts UGA ahead of Florida, Virginia Tech, Oklahoma, and Texas, just to name a few. You can find the complete rankings here.

I love my Dawgs, but realistically, they haven't put together a season worthy of a #3 ranking since destroying Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl a few years ago. Will I argue that UGA is completely capable of making a National Title run this year, YES, but with so many question marks, a pre-season #3 is a bit much to ask and a lot to live up to. Maybe CFN wants to see UGA fail and is putting them on a pedestal to live up to, maybe for once there is an un-biased writer who actually gives Georgia some credit, but #3 is way too high.

How will Murray live up to the hype? If we look at Miami's, I mean Purdue's Robert Marve, the Plant QB before Murray, and the 4 star Philip Ely (who recently committed to Alabama), Plant has a history of producing some very talented athletes. I believe Murray has all the skills to be an elite QB and with 10 returning starters to the offense and two great running backs, who should rush for 1,000 a piece at least, the offense is going to be very good.

Todd Grantham was mentored by some of the best in the business and was successful in the NFL so it's safe to assume he'll be successful in college, but this is a different game. Do the Dawgs have the talent to flash the defense before? I don't think I need to answer that one. Will they live up to their potential is the question that has to be answered and it will be, in less than 23 days.

To overlook UGA in the Top 25 is insane, it has been for a decade, but to rank them as high as #3 with the worst season under Richt last year is equally awful. I can only hope my beloved Dawgs live up to something so lofty and setting stretch goals never hurt anyone, but as I said with Strasburg, let your actions speak and prove yourself. While UGA is on the right track to doing that, they haven't proven that yet. Of course, I'd be willing to bet that Bacarri Rambo and Jakar Hamilton will have something to say about making people not want to get up after a hit. I can't wait to see Justin Houston explode and the crowd echo as they did when Odell Thurman, Thomas Davis, or Greg Blue lit someone up, but let the boys do that before we give them the praise.

Sorry to divert, but if you live in GA and have to deal with texting while driving being illegal, can anyone explain how putting on make up and driving is any less dangerous? I wanted to take a picture this morning, but then what right would I have to say don't do that while driving as I snap a pic while passing the chick.

Anyway, less than a month till the best season of the year and I don't mean Fall nor the NFL. Who watches the pros anyway? Let's get ramped up for some college football! GOOOOOOOOOOO DAWGS! And shamelessly I have to plug the play offs for Matty Ice and myself this weekend... GEAUX DADDIES!!! Have a great weekend everyone!

What?!?!? No Freeman?!?! Possible Trade?!?!?

You've got to be kidding me Frank Wren! This is insane, and I quote "Another option isn't likely: Wren dismissed the idea of calling up slugging first baseman Freddy Freeman from Triple-A and moving Troy Glaus back to third base, his original position. He said Glaus just doesn't have the range he did earlier in his career." Okay, agreed, Glaus obviously is not the answer.

Even with Chipper, Freeman is tearing up the minors! In the same article posted on ESPN, Wren talks about losing the power of Chipper and says "Wren will look into making a trade to bolster the lineup, but his options are limited since the deadline for non-waiver moves has passed. Besides, he's not sure the Braves could find a player more effective than Infante, who made the All-Star team as a utility player and is hitting a team-leading .330. Another All-Star, second baseman Martin Prado, is expected to take batting practice Friday and could return from the disabled list soon after breaking a knuckle."

Wren has yet to shy away calling players up too early. Look at the situation with Jordan Schafer. Mike Minor tore AAA up for a couple months and he's in the rotation, Wren didn't check out a trade to replace Medlen, but Freeman has been in Gwinnett absolutely raking and he doesn't get a chance?!?!? Come on Wren, don't spend foolish money, call the kid up and let him and Heyward go back to tearing shit up, because that's what they do, tear shit up!!! Check out the full article on Chipper's torn ACL in an article on ESPN, written by the Associated Press here.

Gotta keep ole Larry in our thoughts and prayers and hope he comes back to at least mentor our young Bravos! He's been one of the greats and he deserves every honor he gets. Maybe he could help the team this year by telling Wren to grab his balls and make the call. If Freeman is our future at first, there's no need in not putting him in now and getting his feet wet before playoff time.

FUCK THIS GUY

Holy shit. Did Katy Perry perform this? Congratulations on the "I've watched all the games since 1995" comment. Could you be a little more fair weather? Yankees fans are just pathetic. They talk like they have a mouth full of peanut butter and walk like they just popped a hemorrhoid. Their lives are so fucking sad they have to cling on to something that actually wins in life. You don't see these douchebags wearing Knicks apparel. But then again if the Knicks had gotten the Big 3 this offseason you would have seen all those degenerates claiming they have watched all the games since 2010 once they actually won something.

Plus New York just fucking smells. I know a lot of SportsCrack heads on here are from New York and I am probably pissing them off but honestly I don't give a fuck. Your city stinks. It smells like wet cat shit. Now take your jorts and get your ass down to Florida before you go dying on us.

Love,

Matt (a ticked off Bravos/O's fan)

Video via BarStoolSports

CHIPPER JONES HAS TORN ACL

It's a good thing the Atlanta Braves have a deep bench because the shit just hit the fan today. Chipper Jones has confirmed he has a torn ACL and will probably need season ending surgery according to Dave O'Brien...

An MRI showed Chipper Jones has torn the anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee, his agent BB Abbott said Thursday morning. Abbott said he received a text message from Jones, saying the ligament was torn. Jones had been examined by Dr. Marvin Royster, Braves orthopedist who read the MRI.

“He said it was stretched out pretty bad,” Abbott said. “That it was torn and needed to be fixed.”

Abbott said that it appears Jones is headed for season-ending surgery, but that Jones might seek a second opinion. It’s the same knee Jones had surgery on in 1994 which cost him his rookie season.

Jones injured his knee Tuesday night in Houston, jumping as he turned to throw across his body on a groundball up the line by Hunter Pence.

Yes this sucks for the Braves but it's not a season crusher. I love Chipper as much as the next Hooter's waitress but he can be replaced in the lineup. First off you call up Freddie Freeman immediately. Freeman has been tearing it up in AAA Gwinnett and deserves the call up. I know he is young (only 20) but the kid is ready. Give him the chance to start some games at first base and let Troy Glaus and his cavemen knees rest. When Martin Prado comes off the disabled list move Omar Infante to third base and keep him there. I like Brooks Conrad(need his clutch bat for PH situations) too but I like Infante a lot better. The guy is an All-Star after all right? The infield moving forward should be Freeman 1B, Prado 2B, Alex Gonzalez SS, and Infante at 3B.

Losing Chipper in what still looks like a promising season is horrible but the Braves can weather the storm. As much as Chipper means to the organization as the face it would have been much more devastating if they would have lost Huddy or Brian McCann or even Rookie of the Year candidate (yes I said it, he has been more valuable than Heyward) Johnny Venters. This could be the last season for Chipper as some have speculated and if it is well at least he can be their #1 cheerleader and audition for a possible coaching job in the Braves organization.

Image via AJC

I DON'T RECALL THIS PART IN INCEPTION

Shit, I must have been fucking dreaming during this part. This is why you have to go see Inception at least twice. There is shit Christopher Nolan put in that you somehow missed because you were staring at Leonardo's package. I mean his hair. He does have lovely hair. Right guys? Oh don't get all fucking uptight on me now. Oh and in case you were wondering and I'm sure you could care less I fucking loved "Inception." This time I managed to watch the whole movie without being rushed to the emergency room.

Watching tons of fun getting hit by the ice cream truck never gets old. Never.

REX RYAN + HARD KNOCKS=GREAT TELEVISION

"Does it matter that Revis is not here?"
"God damn...he's pretty fucking good!"
"But you know what guys...it ain't about one guy...it's about leading the league in fucking wins on defense!"

After watching the opening of Hard Knocks 2010 with the New York Jets I knew that they hit a gold mine with head coach Rex Ryan. The guy is about as straight a shooter as you can get and he is pretty fucking funny. I don't even like the Jets but after listening to Big Rex you can not help but want to run through a brick wall for him. The guy knows how to communicate with his players and his coaches. It isn't coach speak. It's straight up honesty. He told one of his coaches that one of the undrafted rookies in camp just flat out "sucks." This is something you would read here on SportsCrack. You don't expect to hear that shit from coaches especially when they know they are being taped.

And that is what makes this year's Hard Knocks so much better than the previous seasons. Rex is a loud mouth know it all and doesn't give a shit what other people think other than his team. His team has taken on that persona. LB Bart Scott called QB Mark Sanchez a "nacho." Sanchez replied back that nachos aren't even real Mexican food. Are you fucking kidding me? They could never get away with this stuff on basic cable much less network television which is why HBO is the perfect home for it. It's uncensored.


You also get a little insight from the general manager's perspective on the Darrelle Revis holdout. He makes it known Revis is under contract and exchanges pleasantries with his agent over the phone while nearly pulling out his hair. Then he goes to meet Revis in a secret location called "Roscoes" fried chicken or some shit like that. He leaves the meeting more frustrated and you can almost see his realization that a contract might not get done is becoming more a reality unless he budges and gives Revis top money. Usually I side with ownership/management in these cases when a player is under contract and is failing to report to camp but I think Revis has a great argument. He is without a doubt one of the best defensive players in the NFL if not the absolute best and he deserves to be paid like one. One hit on the practice field could be the end of your career and football players are like gladiators. You have to get your money while you are still hot or the next thing you know you are limping around with a popped up collar, hiked up shorts and an incredible leather face like Joe Namath.

In short you owe it to yourself to watch Hard Knocks 2010 on HBO. If you don't have HBO try it out for a month just to see the show. It's that good and entertaining. And if you hate Rex Ryan because he's a walking slobbier living version of Sam Kinison I can almost guarantee that you will be rooting for him and the Jets after watching Hard Knocks. It's fucking funny assholes so go ahead and watch it and thank me later.

And oh yeah, F-u-c-k the J-E-T-S.

SCOUT.COM IS SMOKING CRACK IF THEY THINK UGA IS #3 PRESEASON

Look I'm all for a little overhyping college football expectations in August but Scout.com went completely off the deep end today with putting Georgia at #3 in the nation. Ahead of Florida (last time I checked Florida owns Georgia). Ahead of Boise State (shut up Georgia fans, they are better than you, deal with it). Ahead of Texas and Oklahoma. Ahead of Iowa? Come on Scout. Let's get serious. Here is their reasoning:

Predicted Record:: 10-2
Why Georgia Should Be No. 1: Don’t be fooled by last year’s slide. The loss of Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno, along with a laughable array of injuries, kept Georgia from being Georgia, but this year’s team should be back to form thanks to a deep offensive line that will be among the best in the country (if everyone stays healthy), a phenomenal linebacking corps, a strong backfield, and a future NFL star in WR A.J. Green. Throw in the best kicking game in college football, and shhhhhh … here’s your sleeper for the national title.
Why Georgia Isn’t No. 1: Aaron Murray. The Georgia quarterback situation wasn’t exactly settled this offseason with Murray the best of a mediocre lot. Murray has the tools and he has the talent, but he has to prove he can navigate his way through the SEC wars. On the other side, unlike last year, the defense has to play up to its talent and athleticism.
Key to the Season:: Turnover margin. Georgia, with enough talent and speed to hang around with anyone in the SEC, forced two fumbles and picked off ten passes, while the offense gave it away 28 times. Alright, so takeaways aren’t necessarily indicative of success (Florida and Cincinnati only recovered three fumbles and Alabama came up with seven), but the knucklehead streak when it came to penalties didn’t help. The Bulldogs were flagged 105 times; only five teams got hit with more penalties.
Relative Strength: Offensive Line, Linebacker
Relative Weakness: Quarterback
What to watch for on offense: The health of the offensive line. There were a slew of injury problems throughout the line last year, highlighted by a second knee injury to OT Trinton Sturdivant, and there was plenty of scrambling. The starting combination was rarely the same with the right starting five not set until halfway through the year. Even with all the drama, the production was still solid. Now, with talent, depth, and plenty of experience, the line might be the best in America if everyone stays healthy and the skill players will get plenty of time to work.
What to watch for on defense: The 3-4. Grantham will install a pro-style defensive scheme taking pass rushing star Justin Houston off the line and making him into a hybrid. The idea is to put three sides of beef up front, and the Georgia linemen are quick enough to get into the backfield, too. The four linebackers will be turned loose to be disruptive, swarm around the ball, and fly to the quarterback from a variety of angles.

You gotta realize that Georgia is starting a quarterback in Aaron Murray who has never taken a snap in college. If you remember Matthew Stafford's first season you will recall how painful that was. And that team was much better talent wise than this years team. Listen, Georgia's defense should be better but that isn't saying much. They were completely awful last year. To say they are a top 5 preseason team means they have a great to good defense and an offense that will score a lot of points. Georgia has proven neither. Their offensive line should be strong with plenty of experience and depth coming back but I don't see a talented back in the mold of Knowshon or Herschel or even a Garrison Hearst who is going to lead you past Florida.

I see Georgia going 9-3 at best during the regular season. South Carolina in Columbia is always tough (50/50). Arkansas the next week in Athens could see Ryan Mallett throw for 300 plus yards (50/50). They should beat Tennessee but then again the Vols always seem to play their best game against the Dawgs especially in Athens. Florida could again crush them in Jacksonville. Auburn on the road is not easy and history tells you the last time the Bulldogs won 5 straight against the Tigers was in the 1940's so expect a close battle. And then you got the home state battle with Georgia Tech who under Paul Johnson can hang with Mark Richt scheme wise. So you are telling me that Georgia could possibly lose only one of those games Scout? Highly doubtful.

24 DAYS TILL NOTRE DAME CRUSHES PURDUE

With senior running backs Armando Allen and Robert Hughes (with his size he should be like Ray Zellars) and talented underclassmen such as Jonas Gray and Cierre Wood (hearing similar reports on the redshirt freshman as Knowshon Moreno had before his breakout season in Athens) the Fighting Irish should be able to run for at least 230 yards against a rather weak Purdue front 7. It looks like at this moment according to practice reports that the Notre Dame offensive line will consist of Taylor Dever at right tackle, Trevor Robinson at right guard, Dan Wenger at center, Chris Stewart at left guard, and Zach Martin at left tackle. If you are counting that is two new starters at the tackle spots. Dayne Crist will of course be the starting QB and his first option at tight end will be All-American Kyle Rudolph and at wide receiver it will be another All-American in Michael Floyd. Freshman WR TJ Jones looks like he will get starting duties as does tailback convert Theo Riddick (think Golden Tate in the slot with Riddick). The offense should be explosive and Brian Kelly's teams at Cincinnati routinely put over 40 points a game on the score board. The offense has a ton of experience and depth at key positions but the key will be the offensive line meshing especially at the tackle spots and keeping Crist healthy. Without Dayne this offense will struggle to form an identity in my opinion.

The defense remains a different story and something I will dive into tomorrow. The whole front 7 returns with plenty of talent among the starters but do they have the depth to shut down teams running games? We will see.

NEW SHIRT: 9 RUDY SHAMROCK

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CARDINALS AND REDS BRAWL

Now that is what I was talking about yesterday. The Cardinals and the Reds just now officially moved into a heated rivalry worth talking about. Brandon Phillips opened the floodgates the day before with his "little bitches" comment and the Cardinals responded when Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina (most overrated catcher in the game) did not take kindly to Phillips before the first pitch was even thrown. Phillips hit Molina's shin pads with his bat (Phillip's ritual which is bull shit anyways) and Molina flipped out. Of course Molina being the pussy he is didn't throw a punch. He just started screaming at him and then of course the benches cleared and a whole bunch of pushing and shoving and crying ensued.

Eventually ordered was restored and the only ejections were the managers. Tony Larussa and Dusty Baker have a history that dates back to 2000 in which both guys have had heated exchanges. This was no different. And you know what? This is great for baseball. Right now is about the time people like myself start to forget about baseball because football is right around the corner. The major network and MLB love to shove that AL East rivalry down our throats and talk about it like it is the only thing that matters. Clearly it doesn't. And now with the Reds and Cardinals feuding for first place in the Central it's bound to get more interesting and we can actually focus on other teams. It shows the fans that the players care and it was great seeing Scott Rolen (future Hall of Famer) muck it up with ex-teammate Chris Carpenter. This is what rivalries are about. No more buddy-buddy bull shit. It's about fighting till the last pitch.


As much as I loathe Molina (the guy just gets on my nerves for some reason) I was actually smiling when he hit the home run yesterday. You could see how much it pissed off the Reds team and you could also see how good it felt for Molina with his slow trot around the bases which was very Phillips-like. This is good theater my friends. Finally.

BRANDON PHILLIPS CALLS THE CARDINALS "LITTLE BITCHES"

All-Star second baseman Brandon Phillips is not a big fan of their division rival St. Louis Cardinals. In fact he had some pretty choice words for the Redbirds...

“We have to beat these guys. I hate the Cardinals. All they do is bitch and moan about everything, all of them, they’re little bitches, all of ‘em. I really hate the Cardinals. Compared to the Cardinals, I love the Chicago Cubs. Let me make this clear – I hate the Cardinals.”

This is what baseball needs. We need teams and players who hate each other. It started earlier this season when Red's first baseman Joey Votto said he hates the Cubs and wouldn't even acknowledge Marlon Byrd at the All-Star game because he is a Scrub. I'm sick and tired of all the players being all buddy buddy with the opposing teams. Growing up I remember a lot more baseball fights then there seem to be now. I remember Otis Nixon doing a Karate Kid on one of the pitchers for probably making fun of the powder on his nose. I remember George Brett freaking out at the umpires for the Pine Tar incident. It just seemed like players cared more back in the day.

Maybe I am romanticizing it but I honestly I enjoy hearing the players hate their rivals. It shows to me that they care more about winning than anything else. There should be no finger blasting each other before or after the game (talking to you A-Roid) and instead I want to see yelling and cursing at each other.

I guess what I am trying to say is baseball needs more "bad guys" like Brandon Phillips and Joey Votto. You want players on your team who are ready to go to war because you know they have your teammates back. A little psycho is good for the camaraderie every once in a while.

Hopefully Albert Pujols stops being the nice guy and calls Phillips a "little Stone Mountain piece of shit" who can lick his zits off his back. Come on Albert. Stop being Winnie the Pujols and start acting like the bad guy. More vinegar and less honey would make baseball more exciting for the common fan.

Image via SI.com

JERRY RICE GIVES THE OLD ONE FINGER SALUTE

The greatest receiver of all-time just showed why he was so dominant. He has fucking bananas for fingers. No wonder he caught all those touchdown passes from Joe Montana and Steve Young. I like the planning ahead and putting the Super Bowl ring on his middle finger too. That way he can give a double FU to all the people who don't have a ring. I'm thinking Dan Marino wouldn't appreciate it.

TIM TEBOW ROCKING THE MONK DO

Tim Tebow suffered a little rookie hazing this weekend from his Denver Broncos teammates with the annual "Monk Cut."

Bravo Broncos. I think the haircut suits him perfectly. This might actually become popular in the Mile High City. Next thing you know you will see Carmelo rocking it to the clubs.

Image via Lendale White's Twitter

CENTRAL FLORIDA DOES IT RIGHT

Axis Magazine got permission from George O'Leary and the University of Central Florida to do a photo shoot of Playboy Playmate Shanna Marie McLaughlin in the locker room. Fanfuckingtastic. Some people think it's highly controversial to have an UCF alum in Shanna doing bikini poses in the player's locker room and to those people all I want to say is FUCK OFF. We live in America. Football and TNA go together like baseball players and PEDs. I'm sure now somebody will be fired and there will be some big political correctness uproar at Central Florida over something that is FUCKING AWESOME. You can take your Totalitarianism ideology and shove it up your ass.

Oh, and by the way I might have just become Central Florida's #1 fan. Sorry for the yelling. It's Monday and I'm a little high strung today.

Link HT: Extra Mustard

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALEX RODRIGUEZ (A-ROID) ON HIS 600TH*

I use to remember when hitting 600 home runs was a big deal. Now it's barely a blimp on the sports world. And with good reason since the man who did it yesterday goes by the name of A-ROID. Just like Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, and Mark McGwire I refuse to acknowledge Alex Rodriguez as an all-time great because of the steroids.

In honor of A-ROID's 600th* home run we have marked down all A-Roids shirts to $6.00. Get them now. We have a limited amount available.

AMAZING CATCH OR FAKE?

The Japanese fooled me once with Godzilla and since then I refuse to be sold with a false bill of goods. Is this shit real? If it is it's the most amazing catch I've ever seen by somebody 5 foot 5. It's probably some bull shit Gatorade commercial. You remember the one with Michael Vick throwing a football out of the stadium? Only way that shit would have been real if it was a pitbull.

Video via Extra Mustard

POLITICAL CARTOONIST MIKE LUCKOVICH NAILS IT WITH THE CHUGA

Slow clap for AJC Mike Luckovich for hitting one out of the park with this cartoon of UGA.

EVA MENDES SEX TAPE

Eva Mendes Sex Tape from Eva Mendes

It's not even funny. What a bunch of bull shit this is. I'm just posting it to get the traffic. Seriously. Sometimes it's about making sacrifices for the good of my wallet. Live and learn. Eva is on my shit list after this garbage. You want an Oscar well you better start Monster Balling like Halle Berry did.

NOTRE DAME TO PLAY TEXAS IN HOME AND HOME STARTING IN 2015

This will put a smile on your face if you are a college football fan. I just got word that college football powerhouses Notre Dame and Texas will meet in 2015 and 2016 for a little recreational football. ND and Texas probably have the two biggest fan bases and both programs can benefit greatly in each other in terms of $$$$$ by scheduling these games more often.

This will just add another game to my college football bucket list. I got to eventually get out and see the Red River Shootout and also see a Michigan-Ohio State battle. Last year I saw Notre Dame-USC. I've seen Notre Dame-Michigan and I've seen Georgia-Georgia Tech. I already have plans in 2012 to go see the Catholics vs Convicts rematch in Chicago and also see Notre Dame in Dublin, Ireland against Navy. I still have never been to the World's Largest Cocktail Party in Jacksonville. Come to think of it I've missed out on some great college football action. What other battles would you recommend?

THIS MADE ME LAUGH

Sorry but I could not help but laugh at this jackass. You start dancing or slow walking in the road you are bound to get hit. Lesson learned the hard way. I don't usually wish harm on people but I wouldn't mind it if more people got hit. You know the people who walk as slow as possible across the street so you will stop for them. And then they stare you down like they are the tough ones. In my dreams I blow my horn and hit them. Obviously the guy driving the chip truck was living the dream in this video.

Video HT: George Lee

SERIOUSLY UGA THIS VIDEO IS EMBARRASSING

After watching this video the Princeton Review might have to revoke the whole #1 party school tag they just received. Seriously this video makes Georgia look like a bunch of uncoordinated non-talented assbags. My high school video production could make better shit than this. And how the fuck did this get sent to BarStoolSports before it got sent to us? If you are going to send the video to a bunch of jerkoffs you might as well send it to a Southern jerkoff who lives in Atlanta. I'm very disappointed I had to go to a Boston blog to see the video. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Now go to your room.

I know this is just for orientation for incoming students but this is the kind of shit that makes you lose to Florida by 30 plus points. Hey good pick on the Miley Cyrus "Party in the USA." Too bad Penn State already got to it...

BRETT FAVRE TELLS HIS VIKINGS TEAMMATES HE WILL RETIRE

I have a hard time believing it but Brett Favre has apparently decided to retire. What is this, the 10th time?

Brett Favre has informed his Vikings teammates that he will not return for another season in Minnesota, the Star-Tribune reported Tuesday.

Favre has sent text messages to teammates saying, "This is it," league sources told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.

Neither Favre nor the Vikings have confirmed the news but a press release is expected Tuesday, the sources said.

"This is it eh!" Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Neither are fucking true and I have a hard time believing Favre is actually going to retire coming off the season he did last year. He was a legit Pro Bowler(4200 yards and 33 TD with only 7 INTs) and should have had the Vikings in the Super Bowl if he didn't pull another Favre and throw a late pick in the NFC Title game.

If he is retiring well then the Vikings are pretty much fucked. Tarvaris Jackson would now be their starting quarterback. The drop off is deeper than the Grand Canyon.

I hope it's true but I don't believe it. We have all been burned way too many times by Mr. Wrangler with this retirement BS. If it's true it helps the Atlanta Falcons enormously which I will be grateful. If it's not well then Favre can go fuck himself. And I mean that politely.

UGA NAMED #1 PARTY SCHOOL

The above image of Damon Evans comes from the PigskinDoctors.com whom I'm pretty sure deserve an Academy Award, a Grammy, and a Nobel Peace Prize for one of the funniest fucking photoshops I have ever seen. I have been literally crying in laughter just staring at the panties on his head. Anyways thanks to Damon Evans losing his Athletic Director job to an unfortunate DUI a month ago Georgia has now gone up from #4 party school in the nation to #1 this year according to the Princeton Review. This honor definitely deserves a shirt. Come on Bulldog fans. Send me some ideas. So far I have come up with these:

-Party Like A Bulldog Today

-Party Like Damon Evans Today

-Drink Em!

-Athens: Beer Me Capital

I know they suck so please help me help you. You can email me your idea to matt@sportscrack.com. Whoever has the best idea gets $100 cold hard cash and some red panties.

LB STEVE FILER JUMPS OVER ND

Notre Dame linebacker Steve Filer has way too much athleticism to be sitting on the sideline this season. With Jon Tenuta gone I expect to see a lot of Filer crushing skulls on the football field this fall. I'm thinking you put him in on goal line and short yard situations and let him do his Lavar Arrington. You remember this right?



Oh and by the way Notre Dame is going to have some sick linebackers this season. Between Manti Te'o, Anthony McDonald, Brian Smith, Filer, Darius Fleming, Kerry Neal, and Carlo Calabrese among others I wouldn't be shocked to see at least 30 sacks from this group. They need a nickname. Any suggestions?

KENNY POWERS GETS SIGNED BY K-SWISS

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss - watch more funny videos

Slow fucking clap. Kenny Motha f-ing Powers is back in one month. He's got endorsements. With a big ass trailer. Not a little one.

KENNY POWERS STARES DOWN JEREMY SHOCKEY

Kenny Motha f-ing Powers is invincible in his new K-Swiss shoes. I once had a pair of K-Swiss's in college. I wore them for about 2 weeks while working on the golf course. I stopped wearing them when I started walking like Forrest Gump. They were the most uncomfortable shoes I have ever worn. So fuck you Kenny Powers! I don't need your stinkin Gimp shoes.



By the way the K-Swiss people are brilliant. I might just now buy a pair of shoes if they unleash secret muscles I've never had. If Kenny Powers says it it must be true.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN FOR THE TRADE DEADLINE

-Cardinals get Jake Westbrook in a three way (hot) deal with the Padres and Indians. Westbrook will instantly turn into a pitcher with a sub 2 ERA under Dave Duncan. Mark it down. Padres get Ryan Ludwick who should provide some pop. Indians get prospect Corey Kluber. No fucking clue who that is. If you do please go get laid. Now.

-Dodgers acquire Ted Lilly from the Cubs for Blake Dewitt.. Ted Lilly still sucks. Even in LA.

-Pirates get Chris Snyder from the Diamondbacks. Pirates and Diamondbacks still blow balls.

-Lance Berkman is about to get traded to the Yankees. Joy. Another high priced sub/rental player for the Yankees. Must be nice.

-The Braves are not doing shit. Well, I don't blame them. But I would still like to see them sit Troy Glaus for a while and let Freddie Freeman come up.

-The Orioles and Rays are in talks about Luke Scott or Will Ohman. I forgot to mention the Orioles hired Buck Showalter the other day. Peter Angelos is still the owner. This is why I forgot to mention it.

-Looks like Adam Dunn is staying in D.C. Too bad because he would be a great DH for the Rays or White Sox.

-Manny still in LA. White Sox tried to get him but no luck so far.

-Fuck baseball. The trade deadline is bull shit anyways. Teams can still make trades till August 31st as long as players clear waivers. Most all players clear waivers. Football season is one month from this weekend. FUCK YEAH!!!!!

ANTHONY RABASA PICKS NOTRE DAME

So much for my prediction of Aaron Lynch being the next public verbal commitment to Notre Dame. Today Anthony Rabasa, a defensive end from Miami, FL who has received offers from Miami, Florida, and Florida State, pulled a somewhat stunner and has picked Notre Dame according to the Miami Herald.

Columbus defensive end Anthony Rabasa didn't need more than
three days in South Bend, Indiana to realize he'd found the right
place to go to college.

Rabasa, a 6-3, 235-pound defensive end, told The Miami Herald
Friday he had committed to Notre Dame University. Rabasa, a first
team All-Dade selection last year, had 80 tackles and 10 sacks to
help Columbus win a district championship.

"I got up here and immediately I was blown away by the
atmosphere up here,'' said Rabasa, who arrived at Notre Dame on
an official visit Wednesday. "I love it. We're by Chicago, a
great city like Miami and around here the people are all about
Notre Dame football.''

Rabasa said he visited Miami, Florida State and Florida. But
after his three days in Notre Dame, he said he probably would not
take his remaining visit.

Rabasa, a 3.0 student, said he was excited to play for new
Irish coach Brian Kelly, and a defensive scheme that will allow
him to broaden his skills on defense.

"This is it for me,'' Rabasa said. "They have a whole new
defense they're planning to run and it's going to be great
because it will allow me to be more than just a pass rusher. I
know this is the place where I want to be.''

I want to make love to Brian Kelly and his staff right now. Notre Dame just pulled a kid out of Miami at a position (defensive end) that is a huge need that they usually never fill. With another Florida defensive end in Lynch expected to announce his decision for Notre Dame tomorrow in South Bend it is as clear as day that the Irish are making a huge push for some of the best recruits in the South. All this despite having 3 consecutive awful seasons and a new coaching staff and if there were any doubts Kelly would have a hard time recruiting big time athletes...well...he has quickly extinguished those flames.

Rabasa is a 3 star prospect with a five star offer list. LSU and Nebraska were just some of the numerous other schools who offered the explosive defensive end. He should be able to compete for immediate playing time once he enrolls in 2011. Here are some highlights of Rabasa...

JUSTICE IS SERVED IRISH

Notre Dame picked up another huge commitment today with the decision of 4 star tailback Justice Hayes out of Michigan to wear the Blue and Gold in 2011. Hayes is the #5 rated all-purpose back by Rivals.com and the #15 running back by Scout.com and is expected to excel in Brian Kelly's spread offense. He's a small type of back with good cutbacks and elusive feet who has excellent hands and should catch plenty of passes out of the backfield.

Hayes is a huge get for the Irish with seniors Armando Allen and Robert Hughes both graduating after this season. The rest of the tailback depth is redshirt freshman Cierre Wood (#6 rated RB by Rivals.com), junior Jonas Gray(#4 rated RB by Rivals.com), and true freshman Cameron Roberson(#17 rated RB by Rivals.com). As you can see the Fighting Irish will have plenty of talent at the tailback position but all of them are unproven at the collegiate level. Kelly loves to rotate his tailbacks in his quick strike offense so he can get fresh legs and Hayes will definitely provide a change of pace when it comes to his leaping ability. Check out this highlight where he leaps over three defenders...





Hayes is now the 13th commitment in Brian Kelly's first recruiting class at Notre Dame. He is the first offensive skill position player to commit in the class (TE Ben Koyack is on offense but not really a skill position) and is also tied for the highest rated prep player with Koyack and offensive lineman Matthew Hegarty. Kelly's current 2011 class consists primarily of linemen which if you have watched Notre Dame football for the past 10 years has been lacking in numbers and talent. Kelly and his staff are changing those numbers quickly.

So who is next for Notre Dame recruiting? Aaron Lynch, that's who. Lynch is a 4 star defensive end out of Florida who is visiting Notre Dame for the second time this weekend. He is another must get for the Irish. Expect him to commit soon. Lynch is a big time player with offers from Alabama, Auburn, Florida State, Ohio State, and Florida among many others. In my view he would be the biggest get for this class because the Irish have always had a hard time getting top notch defensive linemen. Especially out of the talent rich state of Florida.

ROY OSWALT TRADED TO THE PHILLIES...FUCK

Via Matt Gelb of the Philadelphia Enquirer...

Source: Oswalt has accepted deal. Astros waiting to hear back from Phillies. Happ and Gose part of package. http://go.philly.com/pzone
9 minutes ago via TweetDeck

magelb
Matt Gelb

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. OH YEAH...FUCK! The Philadelphia Phillies just sent a very loud and clear message to the Atlanta Braves and the rest of the National League that they will not go quietly into the night. They intend to fight for a playoff spot till the very end. Riding a 7 game winning streak which has gotten them within 3.5 games of the Atlanta Braves and only a 1.5 of the Wildcard, acquiring Roy Oswalt is very similar to what they got last season in Cliff Lee. Oswalt is a money pitcher. His win-loss record maybe awful this year but that is more of a product of a bad team in the Astros. The guy can still put up great WHIP numbers and his ERA is still a very respectable mid 3's.

Now you have a rotation of Doc, Oswalt, and pretty boy Cole Hamels which come playoff time could be the best in the majors. Oswalt makes a shitload of money and the Phillies did have to give up promising starter J.A Happ and outfield prospect Anthony Gose. But then again Oswalt could be the difference in a playoff berth. Right now this looks like an excellent trade for the Phillies. They have the opportunity to pick up Oswalt's option for next year too if he pitches great down the stretch or they can deny the option and pick up draft picks. Very smart trade for the Phillies.

Now the question is do the Braves have an equal reaction on the trade front? I say bring up Freddie Freeman from AAA Gwinnett and put Troy Glaus on the disabled list to give him some rest and see what happens. Just a thought.

FAN KICKED OUT OF INDIANS GAME FOR WEARING A LEBRON HEAT JERSEY

Last night at the Indians-Yankees game in Cleveland a fan decided to wear a Miami Heat Lebron James jersey into the upper deck just to throw a little salt into Cleveland's fresh wounds. Not surprisingly he was kicked out. It wasn't because of the jersey. It was because of the dick wearing the jersey. Seriously, tilting your hat like that will get you kicked out every single time. It's like some kind of white gang symbol. The gang being some boy band. Oh shit, just noticed it was a Buckeyes hat he was wearing. Totally legal ejection in my opinion. The guy wanted the attention and he got it. Now go dot your fucking I in your girlfriend. She seems like a classy one.



Video HT: ExtraMustard

BRYCE BROWN LEAVES TENNESSEE VIA TEXT MESSAGE

It takes a complete asshole to tell your head coach you are leaving school through a text message. Former Vol RB Bryce Brown should have been man enough to do it through Facebook. Right?

“Bryce left town without a face-to-face request (with UT football coach Derek Dooley) for a transfer,” a school official told the News Sentinel on Tuesday evening. “There’s still no news on where he wants to go.”

There has been considerable speculation that the consensus high school All-American running back from Wichita would transfer to Kansas State, where his older brother is now enrolled.

Brown, who was the No. 1 attraction in former UT coach Lane Kiffin’s 2009 recruiting class, didn’t take part in spring practice following Kiffin’s departure for the head-coaching job at Southern California and wasn’t expected to rejoin the team. But there was just enough doubt to make for an ongoing story.

The story continued Tuesday. Dooley addressed it at a local Rotary Club luncheon.

“I said (earlier) that I was open to Bryce coming back on the condition that he wanted to unpack his bags and put his heart into this program,” Dooley said. “I fully expect Bryce not to be on our team.

“The reason it has continued on is because Bryce has not come to me, looked me in the eye and said I want a release to so-and-so school. At some point, that’s got to happen.”

Brown, the #1 rated player coming out of Kansas in high school, left the good old fashion Lane Kiffin way. He pussed out. Losing Brown is a major blow to the Tennessee football program and new head coach Derek Dooley no matter how much they try to spin it. Brown as a true freshman tailback ran for 460 yards while also catching 10 passes for 137 yards out of the backfield. He was the primary backup to Montario Hardesty who rushed for 1345 yards. Now both of them are not at Tennessee. The Vols will now have no game experience at the tailback position. Ruh roh.


Tauren Poole is a sophomore with no experience and David Oku and Toney Williams are both true freshmen who will have a tough time picking up the speed of the college game at least for the early part of the season. The Volunteers could be historically bad this year with junior college transfer Matt Simms (oh fuck another Simms in college, hide the weed) looking like the early leader to be taking snaps behind center. They have to play Oregon, Florida, LSU, Georgia and Alabama within the first 7 weeks of the season. They should lose all of them.

Better yet they might not show up. They could just text SEC Commissioner Mike Silve: "We can't make it LOL."

Brown is no doubt a huge vagina for leaving in this manner which makes him a perfect fit at USC with Kiffin. Not only is he one of the most talented running backs in the college game but his transfer to USC would probably cause the media to explode with stories about how Kiffin loves to finger blast recruits with money and women and empty promises of future stardom. If there is a God he will make this happen. What can Brown do for USC? More sanctions.


Image via AthlonSports

SAMUEL JACKSON ATLANTA FALCONS RISE UP COMMERCIAL

It's time for the 9-7 Falcons to "Rise Up?" Ok. I actually don't mind the commercial as much as the whole "Rise Up" theme. They probably paid Samuel Jackson a cool million to do the commercial so they might as well make it exciting. Something that makes you feel like you are at a football game and not in church singing hymns. And where the fuck are the Matty Ice shirts? Those shirts alone get people jacked up for some Falcon's football. But no, not one Matty Ice shirt. They should have had Jackson playing Jules and Freddie the Falcon dressed up as Vincent Vega. Now that shit would have been cool. They could have reenacted scenes from Pulp Fiction and just replaced some of the characters with the mascots from the Carolina Panthers and Tampa Bay Bucanneers and Drew Brees birthmark/mole. The hamburger scene would have been perfect.


No worries though. The Falcons are winning the NFC South. The Saints will slip this year. Brees is too busy selling Pyramid schemes to those poor souls in New Orleans to realize Matt Ryan and the Falcons have reloaded. The offense will of course score a ton of points but the key is the defense. It should be greatly improved with new additions DL Peria Jerry, LB Sean Weatherspoon, and CB Dunta Robinson all destroying opponents. Falcons go 12-4, maybe 13-3.

Playoffs baby. Playoffs.

NIKE AD LIKES THEM BIG AND ROUND

TheRapUp posted this new Nike Ad which says it's okay to have some junk in the trunk. And you know what? I completely agree. Flat butts are boring. So I believe the point of this advertisement is to make all the skinny bean pole girls with no asses to feel really self conscious about their back door and go out and get butt implants to make themselves more curvy and attractive. Bravo Nike. Bravo. You did it again.

In honor of the big butts I present Kim Kardashian. Queen of the asses.



And one last goodbye shot from last week...

BYU STUDENTS GONE WILD

Those crazy Mormons. This is probably the wildest it gets at BYU. You know besides the massive polygamist cult orgies they have for orientation. There were over 3900 Cougars throwing water balloons at each other making it the largest water balloon fight in recorded history. I guess that is something to be proud of. And don't worry there were no black people injured because...well...you know why.

Video HT: Extra Mustard

ANOTHER REASON WHY I LOVE MARTIN PRADO

Martin Prado should have run for governor of Georgia. Ok so maybe he is Venezuelan and not a US Citizen but the guy speaks the truth. Nate McLouth does suck. McLouth is batting like .00000004 for the season. It's so bad I don't even want to bother looking it up. Everyone knows he can't hit but nobody has the balls to say it. Except for Martin Fucking Prado. This is why he is the MVP of the National League. Besides hitting upper deck home runs and being a team leader he preaches the truth. If Prado were GM he would send McLouth down to the minors and bring back Gregor Blanco. Thank you Prado for having the balls to speak your mind. Now go ahead and Nancy Kerrigan McLouth's knee.



Big ass HT to Billy Holcombe for the Prado image.

TENNESSEE TITANS SUE LANE KIFFIN AND USC

Another sign the apocalypse is upon us: stupid lawsuits. The Tennessee Titans and former USC Trojan and current Titan's head coach Jeff Fisher got their panties in a bunch this weekend when they found out Lane Kiffin stole Titan's running backs coach Kennedy Pola to take over the USC offensive coordinator's job. Now the Titans are suing Kiffin and USC. No bull shit.

The Titans on Monday filed a lawsuit against the University of Southern Cal and head coach Lane Kiffinfor “maliciously” interfering with the contract of running backs coach Kennedy Pola.

The lawsuit was filed in Davidson County Chancery Court and it claims Pola breached his contract with the Titans after being induced by Kiffin. Pola, hired by the Titans in January, was hired by USC over the weekend as the school’s new offensive coordinator.

The lawsuit states “as a result of USC and Kiffin’s tortuous conduct, Tennessee (Titans) football has been damaged in an amount proven at trial.’’

Listen, I hate USC and Lane Kiffin as much as 99.9% of the rest of you but this lawsuit is fucking dumb. Fisher is mad at Kiffin because Kiffin never contacted him before offering the job to Pola. Usually it is polite to at least contact the other teams officials and ask for permission to offer a contract. It's kind of an unwritten rule in the coaching profession. What I don't get is the Titans getting all pissy about it. It's fucking Lane Kiffin. The guy is a fucking brat. Of course he isn't going to ask permission. Hell, Al Davis gave him a head coaching job at the age of 31. Kiffin is use to getting what he wants. He doesn't need Fisher's permission.

There is no need to waste taxpayers money on something this stupid. All coaches are replaceable and if the guy decided to leave then fuck him. Move on. The fact that the Titans are filing a lawsuit over a running backs coach leaving them just smells like rotten vagina. Kiffin maybe an asshole but Jeff Fisher is being a pussy and the Titans organization are a bunch of dicks for suing them over something so frivolous.



So in conclusion fuck all of them. I rest my case.

FORMULA TRUCK TRACTOR CRASH IN BRAZIL

ExtraMustard has the amazing crash footage of two tractor trailers in Brazil. Holy balls! I had no idea the Brazilians loved tractor trailers. Do we have this shit here? I've seen truck racing but not tractor trucks. It's like a real life Transformers episode. No worries on the accident. Both drivers walked away.

CATHOLICS VS CONVICTS BUY THIS SHIRT NOW

I know what you are going to say before you even say it. "Holy shit, he did it again!"

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ADIOS AMIGOS

I hope all of you degenerates have a very safe and disease free weekend. It's going to be hot as fuck so be sure to drink plenty of beer to stay dehydrated. I leave you with another highlight of the Orioles season. This one comes courtesy of pitcher Jake Arrieta. He seems to be right on target which is unfortunate for Carl Crawford...

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE ORIOLES SEASON

If you have been wondering why haven't written much about the Orioles this season it is because they suck so bad it's not even worth mentioning. The Orioles have only won 30 games all season thanks to a horrible lineup that has been minus 2B Brian Roberts all season and one in which the Switch hitting Jesus known as Matt Wieters has looked like he has been nailed to the cross since leaving the minors. The pitching has been awful. Brian Matusz, Jake Arrieta, and Chris Tillman were suppose to be the next great cavalry of starting pitchers and all of them have struggled in the rough AL East. The season has been so bad that I am actually shocked when the Orioles are winning. At any point in the game.

Anyways, they haven't been worth mentioning until yesterday. Ty Wigginton helped his trade stock by going ape shit on the umpire and for good reason. The runner was clearly out. Pitching coach Rich Kranitz was ejected shortly after for arguing with the blues and then interim manager Juan Samuel went ballistic on the home umpire. Finally. They look like they actually care. Granted the Orioles still got shut out by Tom Selleck...I mean Carl Pavano, but they showed some heart out there and the crowd fed off it.

Unfortunately nothing is going to change the losing culture in Camden Yards until Peter Angelos sells the team. Angelos is no Steinbrenner. He's cheap. He's a piece of shit lawyer. And he pockets most of his money (granted he does give to charity). The losing will continue until he either gives up on life (and then they will probably go to his sons) or he decides to sell the team to someone who actually wants to invest in the product on the field. The team sucks in so many ways it's hard to just point out one thing. The scouting is awful. They need a lot more scouts who actually know what they are doing. The international signings are almost nonexistent. They need to bump up their presence in the Latin Countries like Dominican Republic and Venezuela. They also need to develop their minor league talent....badly. They also need to expand the payroll to around $120 million. The fans will come if you put a decent product on the field. Baltimore used to sell out every game when they rolling in the 90's. Now nobody will buy a ticket because the product on the field is shit.

Sell the team Angelos and the fans will come.