SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

This guy is more fruity than strawberry yogurt dripping off Andy Dick's balls. In case you want to see more pictures of Oscar strutting around like the fucking fruitcake adulterer he is, well then click this lovely link.

Last week I got invited by some friends to join them at this restaurant called Pepperbee's in Atlanta for some hot trivia action. We finished third thanks to some timely answers from you know who(me, me, me)and I must say the service at the restaurant was impeccable. I've never encoutered such great customer service. The food was great, but I wouldn't try their milkshakes. It was a little salty for my liking. Anyways, we are trying to win it this week so if you want to join in on the fun with some satisfaction guaranteed, well then come on down. Pepperbee's owner Doug Thomas wanted to personally invite you. Take it away Doug...

Voters are starting to look up to Andre' Woodson.
I'm starting to confuse myself why I am so enthralled with who wins the Heisman and why I talk about it so much. I guess some of it has to do with the tradition and how it is a part of college football history, but then I also think some of it has to do with a lot of the BS around the award. By BS I mean the stupid ignorant reasoning of most of the voters who reason only upper class men on top 5 teams in the country can win the award. What ever happened to giving it to the best player in the country?

Anyways, I got bored so I looked around the wide world web to see what others sport writers/morons/experts out there thought the current leaders were and how they compared to my list.'s Gene Menez has a top ten list with Tim Tebow as the leader and Darren McFadden a close second. For the most part I agree with his list except his omission of Kentucky QB Andre' Woodson. There is no logical reason he shouldn't be in the top 5, let alone left out of the top 10 list. has their Heisman Watch. Usually ESPN fucks up lists like this but I agree with their top 4 selections of McFadden(current leader), Tebow, Woodson, and Pat White. All four of these guys are the clear leaders on their team and without them you could make a case their teams would all be worse off. has his top 6 which seem all out of whack to me. He sticks with his 10 Heismandments for his reasoning in putting John David Booty at #2(I still can't get over this, Booty isn't even a top 10 quarterback in the nation right now) and he has Jamaal Charles at #4(he forgot about a half a dozen big time backs who are having a better year such as Mike Hart, Rashard Mendenhall, PJ Hill, Jonathan Stewart, Steve Slaton, and Justin Forsett). Of course I find myself going to his site the most because I generally disagree with it.

Those are the three lists I generally check out to see what they are thinking in comparison to who I would vote for. I think a lot of the voters get so enamored with their guy before the season starts that it takes a lot for them to not vote them as their leader. For instance before the season started my preseason favorite was Desean Jackson of Cal. Right now there is no reason for me to put him in my top 10 list because he hasn't performed up to what I know he is capable of despite the injuries(the punt return against Tennessee and the running play against Colorado State not withstanding). But others still insist on putting a Booty up there or a Steve Slaton on there despite actually watching the games and seeing that they aren't even close to being the best or most valuable player in the country this year. This is why guys like Gino Torretta, Troy Smith, Chris Weinke, Jason White, Eric Crouch, and others win the award. People declare them leaders before the season actually starts and if they don't lose then it doesn't matter if they aren't even the best player on their team. These preconceived notions that I have to vote for this guy because he is my preseason favorite is why people like George Bush get re-elected(no hate mail please, I voted for the dumb asshole too).

Anyways, here is my top 10 vote(the first four are all interchangeable right now) if it was held today for the Heisman.

1. Tim Tebow-The Urban Legend does it all and put the Gators on his back and rode them to victory against Ole Miss this past week. His stock could drop though against LSU on October 6th if coach Meyer plans on running him so many times against a brutal and bruising defense.

2. Darren McFadden-He continues to shine on a very average Arkansas team. He is clearly the best running back in the nation and despite the team losses I am not dropping McFadden from the top of the list.

3. Andre' Woodson-He is on pace to throw for 33 TD's and no interceptions for Kentucky. Yes, the fucking Wildcats. I think the nation is finally starting to realize how great of a player he is. If he played on USC or any of the top 5 teams in the country everybody would have him as the clear leader.

4. Pat White-The kid seems to play flawless every game I watch him play. I'm really looking forward to Friday's national television showdown against South Florida down in Tampa.

5. Sam Bradford-Redshirt freshman should be able to win this award and he has performed big in every game.

6. Mike Hart-The little guy has put Michigan on his back and literally carried their asses. I hate Michigan but I can't help but respect the way Hart plays the game. That being said, no team in their right mind in the NFL will draft him with all the wear and tear he is receiving this year and the past 3 seasons up in Ann Arbor.

7. Dennis Dixon-I get this feeling he might be off the list real quick. The Cal game this week will be a very entertaining battle for who is second best in the PAC-10.

8. Glenn Dorsey-If you watched the game on Saturday you can appreciate everything that big Dorsey brings for LSU. The big boy gets triple teamed and still makes penetration thus freeing up teammates to make plays.

9. Colt Brennan-Not playing last week hurt his chances.

10. Jonathan Stewart-Surprise, surprise. Second best back in the nation behind McFadden makes his debut.

Just missed the cut: Ray Rice, Desean Jackson, Brian Brohm, Matt Ryan, Chase Daniel

Okay guys, I want you to be honest, would you still invite this Swedish TV Host over for a late night R&R even after the projectile vomiting?

No reason to bullshit or beat around the bush, I think if she brushes her teeth I'm okay with it. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I think I can speak for pretty much everybody reading this blog we have all gone home with a girl...or guy for the ladies who wasn't the bread winner in their family(I'm looking in the mirror). Now that I think of it this is like the 3rd case of vomit I've seen in the past few days. Saturday night I saw one of my buddys do the liquid vomit game shortly after Georgia beat Alabama. Sunday night I saw somebody on television hurl, I can't really remember what show it was but I think it was on Showtime or HBO. And now this Swedish temptress hurling on live television.

I'm starting to feel left out.

There is no alternative, I must join the masses, eat some shitty food(McDonalds or Chipotle will do) or drink too much Whiskey and either wear a Red Sox or Yankee hat while doing it. That way I can fit in with all the other douchebags on TV who throw up. Don't worry people, I'm still in denial about Notre Dame football and I swear I will get out of this funk soon.

Back to the original question: Would you kick the Swedish TV Host to the curb if she hurled in front of you? And remember God knows when you are lying...I want some "fucking french toast biyatch!"

Swedish Host Video via BarstoolSports