SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, October 02, 2008


Bama Boobs courtesy of Poon of the SEC

1. Alabama Crimson Tide-Bama is the new #1 after completely destroying Georgia in Athens. In every game they have dominated including two wins against top 10 opponents. As much as I hate Nick Saban you have to respect him because the guy knows how to develop a tough, hard nosed team that can win games. They have Kentucky this week at home and should handle them despite it being a letdown game.

2. Missouri Tigers-Chase Daniel and Co. were off last week but face a tough road test at Nebraska. Mizzou last won in Lincoln 30 years ago and despite some early struggles on defense I think they can handle the Huskers.

3. Oklahoma Sooners-The Sooners were very impressive in a dominating win over TCU at home. Sam Bradford has the Sooners offense rolling and the defense finally looks like it can stop people. They get a tuneup this week against Baylor before their annual gut check game at the Red River Shootout.

4. LSU Tigers-Les Miles has a dynasty at his hands if he can regroup his team this off week and get ready for a battle in the Swamp next Saturday.

5. Texas Longhorns-The Longhorns will get their first real test of the season with a road game at Boulder this Saturday. So far they have been killing everybody behind a near flawless season performance from QB Colt McCoy but playing against the Buffs will be a lot more difficult especially with Oklahoma looming next weekend in Dallas.

6. Penn State Nittany Lions-They are now in the driver's seat to win the Big Ten conference as they have steamrolled over opponents in the first 5 weeks. They travel to Purdue this week and will need to prove how good they are on the road as they are only 9-16 since the 2003 season. Purdue can't play defense so expect a high scoring affair with Nittany Lions putting up at least 40.

7. Auburn Tigers-This is probably the ugliest top 10 team in the nation as they have struggled to victories over Miss. State and Tennessee and lost to LSU in the last minute. Tuberville's team usually have a knack for winning ugly games and with their defense they should be able to compete in every game. I think it's time for them to let Kodi Burns be the QB this week against Vandy. It should be a great game in Nashville.

8. South Florida Bulls-They are undefeated and play in the Big East. Big fucking deal right? If this team goes undefeated in the regular season and plays in the BCS Championship game over a one loss SEC or Big 12 team I think I will have to give up on the BCS...just kidding, I gave up on a long time ago.

9. Texas Tech Red Raiders-They have played creampuffs so far and devoured them but they could get a tough game this week in Manhattan. Kansas State can put points on the board in bunches so it should be an entertaining game that nobody outside of those two fan bases will see.

10. Vanderbilt Commodores-Holy fucking shit. I actually have Vandy in the top 10 and not USC, Georgia and Florida. Someday I will look back at this post and realize it was the turning point for my growing insanity. College GameDay comes to Nashville this Saturday for their battle against Auburn. If Vandy wins their 3-0 in the conference and have a legit shot at winning the SEC East.


Head over to our EBAY store page to check out some really good deals on some of our new items. As I mentioned last week we have some really good deals on College and Pro Football helmets too so if you are ever looking for a good deal on a replica or authentic Riddell or Schutt helmet let me know.


This is our new shirt in jest to a certain figure at football games. The person has become a notorious figure during gameday and has often stated that "Beer makes you stupid" when arresting or throwing out paid spectators. To hear more about the story click on this NDNation link.

This shirt comes at the request from hundreds of ND students and fans who have felt their rights violated in some part due to an overzealous security and police force at games. They have even disrupted good old fashioned tailgating before the football games which I'm pretty sure would get you castrated in the South. Don't ever mess with men and women and their tailgates!

The "slured speach and stumbly" on the back of the shirt is a poke at a certain usher's descriptive writing when arresting a spectator. The shirts are only $15 with 10% of sales going to Hannah and Friends, a nonprofit organization formed by the Weis family to help children and adults with special needs.

We are taking preorders now. The shirts will start shipping starting at the beginning of next week.


And please remember that these shirts are satirical and meant to be funny because as most of us know drinking beer is fun at football games as long as you don't go overboard like myself by drinking way too much and waking up later with piss all over yourself. God, those were fun days.


In the past two weeks I have managed to get off my lazy ass and worked up enough energy into getting my round tub of goo to the gym. I want to get back into decent shape as I near the age of 30. As you get older you realize your metabolism slows down dramatically and all those beers and tacos (literally and figuratively) you consume daily eventually catches up to you to a point where one day you get winded just waking up. The hangovers get worse and the abs swell to epic proportions. It gets disgusting and kind of depressing to be honest. I hadn't been to a gym regularly in a while and I must say things have changed. Obama keeps talking about change and now I'm wondering if the change had to do with how much more open men are in the locker room. Take for instance this situation where I went in to burn some calories from the old beer gut and just wanted to change back into my normal clothes in the locker room only to be put in this predicament...

Video HT: Little Britain USA, a side hurting comedy which is a must see on HBO Sunday nights.