SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Rio Looks Comforting to Olympic Athletes

Imagine, just for a second, you are an Olympian.  Put down the Coke and Little Debbie and think about it just for a few seconds.  You pack your new Nike gear with it's flashy colors and hefty price tag in your Louis Vutton bag.  You fly all the way down to South America where you have to worry about getting bit by a fucking mosquito that can make your kid's head the size of an orange but you say fuck it, I'm all in for the Olympics.  Zika is probably bullshit anyways you tell yourself.  I'm going to represent my country and destroy shit (vagina preferably).  US mother fucking A.  You have a nice comfortable Delta flight down.  Got a nice little cat nap while you dreamed about all the fine Brazilian ass you are about to smash.  You land and reality slaps you right in the face as soon as you get off the plane.  "WELCOME TO HELL" sign greets you and tells you won't be safe.  If you get shot they don't have any hospitals according to their bridges.  Fuck that.  I'm out.  No shiny medal or Brazilian ass is worth my life.  I don't even make it out of the airport.  But other than the imminent death sentence Rio looks very inviting.  I can't see why so many star athletes are backing out of it.  Probably has something to do with racism.  Yeah let's pull the race card.  Sounds good.  Good night.