SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Shit I would never do: Cleaning the Cobra Pit

There are only a few things I'm scared of in life. One is black women with cell phones who are driving. The other is being stuck in a cobra pit. I mean are you fucking kidding me with this guy? He is just tossing around Cobras like they are dollar bills in Pacman's hand. I'm not going to sit here and lie to you and say I could do this guy's job. I would literally have shit dripping down my leg in fear if I ever got stuck in a cobra pit. I saw this video on Jimmy Kimmel last night and I squirmed and checked the bed for snakes last night. Luckily there was only one anaconda as usual.

Red Sox reporter Heidi Watney is sick to her stomach and the Red Sox are 0-6

That was the "holy shit this is terrible" face. I'm use to that face. I see it every time my wife looks in my direction. Poor Heidi Watney. Not only does she have to put up with shitty baseball with the Red Sox being swept by the lowly Cleveland Indians but she also has to deal with shitty soul food. I feel kind of bad for the guy behind the counter. He didn't exactly get a ringing endorsement on live air.

By the way no baseball team who has ever started 0-6 has won a World Series much less made the playoffs. Sorry Chowderheads. All the money in the world and the brilliant Theo Epstein isn't going to prevent boneheaded game ending plays like this one from Darnell McDonald...

Dielectric Sound - Whiskey Rock

Thursday's afternoon jam is Denver-based Dielectric Sound's "Whiskey Rock." This bluesy/funk/southern classic rock jam band just came out with their second album called 5 Liars. They were kind enough to send me a free CD. I highly recommend buying it today on iTunes. My personal favorite is "Falling Down." Rock on bitches!

Bonus video from Quixote's in Denver:


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