SportsCrack Blog

Monday, March 16, 2009


St. Patty's Day is one of my favorite holidays of the year. In fact it is right up there with Kwanzaa. It is the one day of the year besides your parole hearing that you have a perfect excuse to get completely shitty drinking. Since St. Patrick's is on a Tuesday I figured it would be good to start the holiday this past Saturday. I'm doing my part to honor my Irish heritage. Are you? If you doubt my skills in drinking then take a look at this little video...

That clanking noise you hear is the sound of a million brain cells just magically disappearing. I love beer.


Busted Coverage has some great pictures of Texas Longhorn's kicker Hunter Lawrence's girlfriend Meagan. Looks like she could nurse Hunter's leg back to health any day of the week. I'm not talking about his kicking leg either. She is apparently in contention with Colt McCoy's girlfriend for hottest player's girlfriend on the team. Hopefully one day they can duke it out with a catfight in nothing but lingerie in jello. Ummmm...jello!


I believe the word Suppressex is latin for marriage. I will have to verify it with my wife.


The ongoing saga that is Jay Cutler, vaginal secretion quarterback of the Denver Broncos, took the worst possible turn this weekend when he met face-to-face with new head coach Josh McDaniels for the first time. The meeting was to clear the air between the two but it did just the opposite. Cutler had his feelings hurt when less than a month ago he found out McDaniels was taking calls for trade scenarios to ship out Cutler and perhaps bring in Matt Cassel. Of course nothing came about as Cassel, who McDaniels coached in New England as their offensive coordinator, was traded to Kansas City for a future career in obscurity. Cutler still remained the clear franchise player for the Broncos but his enormous ego was shattered.

So what has he done since? He has bitched and moaned to the press about the situation. He feels like he has been disrespected by McDaniels. This coming from a QB who has a losing record in the NFL and has yet to lead his team to one playoff victory and has yet to really prove anything that he deserves the respect he feels is owed to him. Here is what Cutler had to say about his meeting with McDaniels...

"I went in there with every intention of solving the issue, being a Bronco, moving forward as a Bronco," Cutler said. "We weren't in there but about 20 minutes, [McDaniels] did most of the talking and as far as I'm concerned, he made it clear he wants his own guy. He admitted he wanted Matt Cassel because he said he has raised him up from the ground as a quarterback. He said he wasn't sorry about it. He made it clear that he could still entertain trading me because, as he put it, he'll do whatever he feels is in the best interest of the organization.

"At the end of the meeting, he wasn't like, 'Jay, I want you as our quarterback, you're our guy.' It felt like the opposite. He basically said that I needed to tell him if we can't work this out, to let him know," Cutler added. "I thought he was antagonizing me and that was disappointing because I was ready to move on, committed as a Bronco. Really, I figured we'd hash things out, shake hands, laugh a little and move forward. What happened [Saturday] was the last thing I expected. If I didn't think it could be fixed, I never would have come back to Denver. It was painfully obvious to me and Bus [Cook, his agent] it's not something they want to fix."

So now Cutler has told his agent to formally request a trade and informed the team he will not be reporting for the first team meeting today. Sounds like a great leader right? Someone you want in the trenches with you like a Tom Brady or a Peyton Manning. Oh wait, those guys are proven winners with rings on their fingers and girls wanting to suck their junk. Cutler just has an enormous paycheck and an even bigger ego that requires a huge cotton ball with a very long string to soak it all up.

Where do the Broncos and Cutler go from here? It looks pretty obvious that Cutler's days as Denver quarterback are over. He needs to be traded and should be. He is too big of a distraction in Denver. That being said Cutler is a talented QB who could develop into a Hall of Fame signal caller in the right situation. Remember that John Elway, the greatest Bronco of them all, had a big ego also and forced his trade from the Baltimore Colts to the Broncos shortly after being drafted. Same with Eli Manning. Brett Favre wore out his welcome in Green Bay despite a Hall of Fame career. The Broncos are going to want to get another QB in return for Cutler. They aren't going to just trade him for draft picks. He is a 25 year old QB who has a ton of commodity around the league.

I think a trade that would make the most sense is to the Cleveland Browns for Brady Quinn. Cleveland's new coach Eric Mangini is looking for a guy who can chuck the ball down the field. There is no doubt Cutler is that type of player. The kid has an incredible arm. McDaniels is looking for a QB who can control the game, make the right reads, and distribute the ball for intermediate gains while not forcing turnovers. Brady Quinn is that type of player. Both Quinn and Cutler are franchise NFL QB's. But what Quinn has is more maturity and leadership. Cutler is the more talented of the two. The trade makes a lot of sense for both clubs right now.

And as far as I know they still sell Tampax in Cleveland. They didn't stop distribution once Kellen Winslow left town. It's too bad Cutler won't get to hang out with any of his Denver celebrity friends anymore like Stan and Kyle...