SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Baseball Porn: Andrelton Simmons Defensive Highlights

As an Atlanta Braves fan I sometimes take what 24-year-old Platinum Glove winner Andrelton Simmons does with his glove for granted.  "Simba" as he is affectionally called has the best glove, the best range, the best arm, and the best instincts by any major leaguer in the game today.  Simmons makes plays look so easy even when they clearly are not and he isn't a flashy me first guy like Yunel Escobar that he sometimes goes unnoticed.  He shouldn't.  Simmons is right up there with "The Wizard" Ozzie Smith for best defensive shortstop that I've ever seen play the game.  His highlights are baseball porn worthy and he's quick as a cat.  Simba is a rare breed who is worth the price of admission just to say you say him play.  Like watching Gretzky take the ice, MJ take the floor, and Montana break the huddle you know something special is going to happen when Simmons puts his Rawlings rawhide on his left hand.

Twins' Chris Colabello Hits HR For Mom on her Birthday

Talk about delivering the perfect birthday present for Mom.  Minnesota Twins' Chris Colabello does not disappoint.  The only problem is now Mom is going to be expecting bigger and better things every year.  Like you can't get anything better than a homer from your son right as the sideline reporter in interviewing you.  It's just not possible.  So next year when he delivers flowers and a kiss or whatever the fuck you give to your Mom on her birthday the look of disappointment in her eyes could be soul crushing.  Colabello might as well just cut his losses and become an Alaskan Ice Trucker.

Mike Trout Steals Bryce Harper's Thunder Once Again With Diving Catch

Ever since Bryce Harper graced the cover of Sports Illustrated at the age of 16 as the next sure fire superstar in making Mike Trout has taken it as his personal goal to steal all the thunder away from the Clown Question bro.  Not only has Trout been the best all-around player in the game without question (don't even fucking argue with me on this because you will make yourself look like a simpleton) his first two seasons and really it's fucking highway robbery he doesn't have two MVP awards to show for it but that is a discussion for another day.  The reason why Trout doesn't get the accolades or notoriety of a Harper is only because Bryce plays on a better team on the east coast.  That's it.  Trout is better at all facets of the game.  Speed, power, fielding, running, hitting, diving, smiling, spitting, farting you name it Trout does it better.  This doesn't make Harper a shitty player by any means.  That's not what the point of this post is.  I'm just saying Trout is like Superman and Harper is like Captain America.  Both are extraordinary but I will take the guy who can fly into fucking outer space over a guy with a shield any day.