SportsCrack Blog

Monday, November 30, 2015

USC Players React as Clay Helton is Named Full-Time Head Coach

Seriously how does USC AD Pat Haden keep getting away with being such a shitty athletic director?

USC is one of the few true blue-blood college football programs but they continue to fuck up when it comes to finding the right head football coach.

Clay Helton?  An offensive line coach?

Come on USC.  I mean I love to make fun of you for the Lane Kiffin and Steve Cutty Sarkisian hires but now I think you are just trolling all of us.  No way did you really think Helton was a home run or even legitimate big time hire.  You are USC.  The Trojans.  You have National Titles and Heisman Trophies all over your campus.  You have a new state of the art football facility.  You have the pick of the litter when it comes to 5 star recruits and you go out and hire a marginal at best head coach.

With that being said I want to thank Haden and the excellent job he's been doing.  Without him USC would be a top 5 program like they should be.  As a Notre Dame fan I will definitely be sending Haden a Christmas card with a gift basket full of FUSC shirts.  Keep up the good work Haden and while you are at it give Helton a GUARANTEED 5-YEAR CONTRACT!

Oh wait you just did that too.  Genius move.  Fight on!

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Nick Saban Has a Profanity Laced Hissy Fit With The Media About Playing Shitty Teams

I know there is always a method to the madness with Alabama head coach Nick Saban.  He's going off on the media to fire up his team and to stay focus on Charleston Southern this week.  Yes.  Charleston fucking Southern.  A FCS team.  A team with only 55 scholarship players.  While big ole Bama, the king of processing scholarships, is whining about having to face Charleston fucking Southern.  I get it Saban.  Georgia Southern ran all over your asses three years ago for over 300 yards and averaged 7 yards per carry.  But guess what?  Even after that shitty performance the media didn't drop you one spot in the rankings.  If that happens to anybody else, say TCU last week vs Kansas as an example, they drop in the rankings and are fighting for their lives.  But if Bama struggles with an inferior team they always, always, get a pass because frankly they deserve it because of their perception with the national media and fans.  So don't go off on the media Nick.  If anything you should be thanking them for constantly putting your team at the top of the mountain even when you lose at home to a very average Ole Miss team.

Good luck this week vs Charleston Southern.  They got a division 1 quarterback as you say.  If anything you should be #1 after this week for scheduling such a powerhouse this late in the season.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Friday Night Light's Vince Howard Pulls a Recruiting Shocker and Commits to Michigan State

As an avid Friday Night Lights fan and of course QB Vince Howard fan I'm straight up shocked he would pick Michigan State.  What happened to Texas forever?  I fully expect Tim Riggins to get shit faced and punch your lights out now that you have gone to the dark side up North.  You can't take your talents to East Lansing for Mark Dantonio.  Granted the Longhorns are a dumpster fire right now with Charlie Strong throwing kerosene haymakers but you could be the next Vince Young and save the program.  You would not only be a folk hero in Dillon, Texas but nationwide.  The only thing I can think of why he's going to Michigan State is because Dantonio hired Coach Taylor to be his special teams coach.  It's the only logical reason.

Clear Eyes.  Full Hearts.  Go Sparty?

SportsCrack's Heisman Top 5

With Leonard Fournette and Trevon Boykin taking in the chin the last two weeks we can safely say they will not be hoisting the Heisman this year.

Here is a look at my top 5 candidates.  As always this list is very fluid and can change in a heartbeat.

1) Dalvin Cook, FSU, RB - Yes I know FSU has two losses on their resume but it has nothing to do with Cook.  He's been the best RB in the nation this year and he's averaging over 8 yard per carry.  He broke Warrick Dunn's school record for rushing yards last week and has an outside shot at hitting 2000.  He's also not running behind a stellar offensive line.  Almost every yard he has got has been hard fought.

2) Baker Mayfield, Oklahoma, QB - He's the nation's second rated passer (behind Baylor's Seth Russell) and has thrown for an outstanding 31 TDs and only 5 INTs.  Mayfield was on fire last week in the big win vs Baylor on the road and has huge games remaining vs TCU and Oklahoma State.

3) Deshaun Watson, Clemson, QB - I mean you gotta have the star QB for the #1 team in the country on this list right?  Watson actually deserves to be up here though.  He's completing over 70% of his passes while accounting for 28 TDs total.

4) Derrick Henry, Alabama, RB - Back-to-back 200 yard performances has vaulted Henry to the top of many Heisman lists.  Most seasons he would be my #1 guy but I have a hard time even putting him on my top 5 college runningback list and he's not the best RB in his own conference.  If Bama wins out and Henry has big games vs inferior opponents I'm afraid he will win it.

5) Ezekiel Elliott, Ohio State, RB - The Buckeyes star RB has big time games the next three weeks to pad his Heisman campaign.  Michigan State, Michigan, and Iowa will all be nationally watched glue to your tv type games.

Just outside:  Corey Coleman, Baylor, WR; Christian McCaffrey, Stanford, All-Purpose; Leonard Fournette, LSU, RB

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

UNLV's Derrick Jones With the Dunk of the Night

If the score is any indication it looks like UNLV was in for a real battle last night vs NMWHOTHEFUCKARETHEY.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Bovada's Latest National Championship Odds has released their latest team odds to win the National Championship.  Give this a read before betting your life savings aka two week pay check.

1) Alabama - 12/5 - Last year at this same time Bama was the overwhelming favorite to win it all.  We all know what happened.  Can you really see Jacob Coker leading them to a Natty?

2) Ohio State - 11/4 - Led by the best coach in the nation the Buckeyes are just starting to hit their stride.  Granted they haven't played anybody of significance yet.  Michigan State and Michigan should challenge them the next two weeks and then Iowa awaits in the Big Ten Championship.

3) Clemson - 15/4 - Clemson is 10-0 for the first time since 1981.  Yes the last and only time they won a Natty.  North Carolina is the only legitimate hurdle left for the playoffs.

4) Notre Dame - 9/1 - We all know what happened the last time ND played for a Natty.  It wasn't pretty.  If they can beat Boston College and Stanford they will be in the playoffs.

5) Oklahoma - 12/1 - One of the hottest teams in the nation.  I could see the Sooners sneaking into the playoffs.  This might be one of the best long shots to take here especially with a scorching hot QB in Baker Mayfield leading the charge.

6) Oklahoma State - 12/1 - No chance.  They will probably lose to both Baylor and Oklahoma.  Cute story but it would be foolish to throw any money on them.

7) Florida - 14/1 - FSU and/or Bama in the SEC Championship will beat the Gators.  They have a great defense but their offense is not going to win them any of those games.

8) Iowa - 22/1 - The Hawkeyes should be undefeated going into the Big Ten Championship game.  A small bet here could pay off huge if they go on a similar 2014 Buckeyes run

9) TCU - 25/1 - No chance without Trevon Boykin and Josh Doctson this week vs Oklahoma.  Barely beat Kansas last week.

10) Michigan State - 45/1 - They need a monumental upset of the Buckeyes to even have a chance of reaching the Big Ten title game.  Could it happen?  Sure.  Doubtful though and I wouldn't bet on it.

11) Baylor - 50/1 -  The Bears were eliminated last week when they lost to Oklahoma.  Too many wacky things need to happen for them to even reach the playoffs.  Then again this has been one of the craziest seasons so far.

12) North Carolina - 66/1 - This is the long shot everybody should at least lay down a case of beer money on.  Since losing to South Carolina to open the season UNC has won 9 straight, all in impressive fashion.  They continue to get better and they have an X factor at QB in Marquise Williams.  If they win their next 3 vs Virginia Tech, NC State and Clemson they should squeeze into the playoffs.

SportsCrack's Top 10 for Week 11

Please tell me you got the chance to sit on your ass for at least 12 hours on Saturday and watch the madness that is college football unfold.  It was glorious and with three weeks left in the regular season it's going to be an all out battle to secure a playoff spot.

Right now the seeding appears to be as followed. 
Playoff spots:
1. Clemson if they win out.
2. Alabama if they finish 12-1.
3. Ohio State if they win out.
4. Notre Dame if they finish 11-1.
5. Big 12 Champ left out unless Oklahoma State finishes undefeated.

With Stanford and Utah both losing the PAC 12 conference is officially eliminated from the playoffs.

1. Clemson
Clemson didn't play exceptionally well at Syracuse but at this point it doesn't matter.  They just need to win and they should get the #1 seed in the playoffs.  Winning out is hardly a guarantee with a scorching hot North Carolina team waiting for them in the ACC Championship.
2. Alabama
Bama is hitting their peak.  The defense especially the front 7 looks nasty as they completely destroyed Miss State on the road.
3. Ohio State
Did you know the Buckeyes haven't played a single game vs a top 25 team all season?  Insane.  This week they face their first in Michigan State.  I expect the Buckeyes to win rather easily vs an overrated Sparty team.
4. Notre Dame
It wasn't pretty on Senior Day for the Fighting Irish as ND "struggled" to win by 3 touchdowns vs a lousy Wake Forest team.  This week they travel to Fenway Park to take on Boston College.  They should cruise until the big game at Stanford.
5. Iowa
Like Ohio State the Hawkeyes are benefitting from a dog shit schedule.  Granted they beat Northwestern and Wisconsin who on paper are top 25 teams but it's not like those programs are world beaters.  
6. Oklahoma State
The Cowboys so far have to be the luckiest team in the country.  They came back 17 down vs an awful Iowa State team to win and stay undefeated.  Their out of conference schedule is holding them back from a top 4 stop at this spot.  They get Baylor and Oklahoma the next two weeks.  I see defeats in both as the law of averages catches up.
7. Oklahoma
The Sooners are playing great ball after going into Baylor and winning with an impressive performance from QB Baker Mayfield who may have vaunted himself into the Heisman discussion.  If the Sooners can beat TCU and Oklahoma State they are one upset (Clemson or ND losing) from cracking the top 4 of the playoffs.
8. Florida
The Gators are absolutely brutal to watch.  Just a boring fucking team but you know what isn't boring?  SEC East champs.  If they win out they are in the playoffs.
9. Baylor
The Bears played their asses off but just didn't have enough vs a loaded Oklahoma squad.  Baylor is basically eliminated unless about 5-6 things happen.
10. UNC
I don't think there is a hotter team in the country.  The Tarheels are putting up 50 plus points on the scoreboard with ease and will get their shot at Clemson in the ACC Championship.  Could UNC squeeze into the playoffs with a victory?  It's possible but they would still need ND to lose, the Big Ten and Big 12 to cancel each other out also.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Back, Back, Back ESPN's Chris Berman Settles a Sexual Harassment Claim

According to The Big Lead ladies man extraordinaire Chris Berman and ESPN have reached settlement on a sexual harassment claim by some deviant who was obviously jealous of Berman's mandingo personality...
A former ESPN makeup artist recently settled a sexual harassment claim against ESPN, and the focus of her claim was NFL host Chris Berman, multiple people tell The Big Lead.
The former ESPN makeup artist, Sue Baumann, was represented by the office of high profile lawyer Gloria Allred. A person familiar with the matter told The Big Lead that there were allegations against Berman – including comments he allegedly made in the makeup room and text messages going back a few years – and ESPN decided to settle. The person spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the claims.
In a statement to The Big Lead, ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz said: “Our thorough investigation revealed the harassment claims had no merit. We settled it solely to save a considerable amount of time and litigation costs.”
You trying to tell me this swordsman is capable of sexual harassment?  In the famous words of Matt Harvey, NO WAY!

Prayers sent to Berman and his family.


These are the 5 guys I think have the best shot of being invited to New York City for the Heisman Trophy presentation.

 1) Corey Coleman, WR, Baylor - He leads the nation with 20 touchdown catches and is on pace to shatter the NCAA record. A wide receiver hasn't won the Heisman since Desmond Howard but Coleman's resume is stronger than Howard and Tim Brown at this point during their Heisman campaigns. With Baylor's back loaded schedule he will have plenty of times to shine.

2) Deshaun Watson, QB, Clemson - He's the QB of the #1 rated team in the country. While his numbers aren't eye popping there is no doubt Clemson is a legit title contender with Watson behind center.  The only thing keeping him away from NYC at this point is a loss and I don't see Clemson losing anytime soon.

3) Christian McCaffrey, All-Purpose, Stanford - Leads the nation in all-purpose yards. Ed's son has been dynamite all year and if he can help lead Stanford to a PAC 12 title he should have a New York City invite sealed with a heavy West Coast bias in his favor.

4) Derrick Henry, RB, Alabama - Henry outshined Fournette by a crimson mile. The 242-pound bruiser dominated LSU's defense while running for over 200 yards. He's still not the best back in his own conference but right now he's ranked ahead of Fournette because he dominated in prime time while Bama shut down Fournette.

5) Leonard Fournette, RB, LSU - 31 yards rushing is straight up pathetic. Fournette's Heisman campaign is basically over. You can't get shut down this late in the season on prime time tv. He is no longer the run away front runner but he can solidify a New York City invite by finishing up strong and hoping LSU finishes the season with 1 loss.

Thursday, November 05, 2015

ESPN's Marcellus Wiley Accuses Notre Dame's Brian Kelly of Being Racist for Shoving GA David Grimes

Why can't ESPN just stick with televising and reporting on sports instead of making up accusations? It's one thing to report on a coach like Brian Kelly pushing his grad assistant David Grimes to avoid a 15 yard unsportsmanlike penalty for arguing with a referee. That we can see. Kelly probably shouldn't have pushed him. Grimes also shouldn't be arguing with refs. But it's a whole other ballgame when you infer Kelly is a racist because he's white and Grimes is black. It's another lazy theory with no basis of proof. If I'm Kelly, Grimes and Notre Dame I'm demanding an apology from ESPN and Marcellus Wiley. It's an attack on their characters. All of them. Yes even Grimes. It's Wiley pointing out Grimes is black which in this day and age shouldn't matter but Wiley insists it's why he is getting pushed and not for any of his actions. He's basically not even giving Grimes a chance because he's black and that is why Kelly shoved him. The only racist I see in this whole bullshit argument here is Wiley.

Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Watch This ND-Temple ICON Video and You Will Get the Idea What it's Like To Be a ND "Student" Athlete

The "4 for 40" year decision Notre Dame coaches and staff throw out to recruits and their parents is not hyperbole.  This is what I try to tell my friends something that makes Notre Dame different and unique.  While other schools just want to win football games (I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that mentality) Notre Dame forces you to get better in the classroom.

Star QB Deshone Kizer is coming off a 440 yard performance in a tough road night game with everybody watching vs Temple.  He just won the game for ND and he has received the game ball for his MVP performance.  And what do you think he is worried about?  It's not the game or next week vs Pitt.  It's not where ND will be ranked by the committee (5th by the way).  It's about getting back to the ND dorms at 3:30 am and having to study for accounting.  That right there is a student athlete.

Kudos to Kizer for keeping his head on straight.

Go Irish!

The Guy Who Never Played, Jonny Gomes, Gives Kansas City a World Series Rally Speech

I know Jonny Gomes is a "great clubhouse guy" but why is he giving speeches at the Royals World Series rally celebration?  Gomes never even played in the postseason.  The Royals basically cut him from the roster.  He's not even up there with the mascot in terms of relevancy to the Kansas City Royals.  I would rather see a season ticket holder up there crying his or her eyes out then see this fucking guy give speeches about the heart of the team.  You didn't win the World Series Gomes!  You played in 12, yes, 12 fucking games and accumulated a whooping 30 at-bats for them.  You are of less significance than the caterer or personal driver for Hosmer's road beef.  Go ride the coat tails a little more buddy.

By the way congratulations to the Kansas City Royals on winning their second World Series title.  Without Gomes it wouldn't have been possible.  What a guy!

Monday, November 02, 2015

Watch Kirk Herbstreit Piss His Pants on Live TV

This was about the only funny thing that happened during the Notre Dame vs Temple game unless you count ND's red zone offense which can be down right hysterical at times.  I seriously hope Herbie was wearing his night night pullups because there is no doubt he discharged some fluid below the waist.  I've never seen a grown man shriek so loud besides the distraught Michigan fans two weeks ago.

"Talk To Your Kids About the SEC Myth" Parody Video

I love the setup for this video.  Let's have a honest discussion with our kids about college football.  You can fault kids all you want for being loud mouth jerks but you know you get the absolute brutal truth out of them.  If something doesn't look right they will flat out tell you to your face.  You know how many times I've been called a "poopyface" by my daughter and her friends?  Hundreds.  And you know what those little bastards are right.  I do have a "poopyface."  I can't help it's genetics and alcoholism and I do fart a lot.  So when a parent sits down and talks to his kids about the SEC myth then you gotta listen.

Even if it's an Iowa fan.

Full disclosure to any other Iowa fans please keep your mouth shut about your 8-0 record.  You haven't played one ranked opponent this year and you will not till the Big Ten Championship so please keep quiet about being undefeated.  It means nothing.  But I do love the Civil War jokes.  Those never get old.

The SEC Myth is going to be exposed for better or worse in November.  LSU is the only undefeated team in the conference and they play Bama in Tuscaloosa this week.  If LSU loses then you do the math.  If Bama wins it will also be their first quality win.  This year a one loss SEC Champion could get squeezed out of the playoffs and this would be a great thing.  You know why?  Because then the playoffs would be expanded to 8 teams.  The SEC would never tolerate one of their teams not being included in the big dance so to speak.

So in conclusion let's all root for the SEC conference to get shut out of the playoffs.  In the end it will be great for college football and for bragging rights even though rooting for a conference is right up there with the dumbest thing you can do.