SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Cam McDaniel Doesn't Care About USC, Is Extremely Photogenic

Cam McDaniel is a fucking boss.  No helmet while fighting for yards against hated rival USC and he still has the time to pull off Blue Steel.  That McDaniel is so hot right now!

Triumph Visits The Great American Beer Festival

I love that puppet dog.  He can drink and lick his balls with me any day.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

This Andy Reid Kool-Aid Gif is Perfect

Hilarious.  The Kansas City Chiefs are now 7-0 after only winning 2 games last season.  New head coach Andy Reid is a rock star.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Watch Out SEC Country it's the new MAUK U Shirt

There is a new beast of the east and it hunts not only west of the Mississippi but has been known to kill Dawgs and Gators with their old man football.  The experts didn't think they could survive in the SEC...well MAUK U!  Get the original MAUK U shirt only at

Taking pre orders NOW.  Shipping starts October 25th on this limited edition shirt.  10% of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

In Honor of Jim Leyland Stepping Down Today as the Tigers Manager We Present This Classic Barry Bonds Confrontation

Old fucking school.  Winstons and Marlboros just chewing out Barry Bonds self entitled ass during spring training back in the early 90's.  Jim Leyland packed up his cigarettes and headed out of Detroit today and he will be missed.  The funny thing is if this happened today Leyland would have been crucified by the media and made to apologize for being a racist.  True story.  Also we would be talking about changing the name of the Pirates because Bob Costas got offended for Captain Hook.

Eight Team Playoff Would Look Like This

Ok so this is all hypothetical and I know the college football lords have only agreed to a 4-team playoff starting next year but this is what I envision as the perfect playoff system that would rival Super Bowl interest. 8 teams determined by the college playoff committee.

Now just going by BCS Standings this is what the first round match ups would look like:

1. Alabama vs 8. Baylor - Could Bama be on upset alert?  Nick Saban would have a hard time stopping Baylor's spread offense which averages an incredible 65 points a game.  Bama's defense has only given up 1 TD in the last 5 games.

2. FSU vs 7. Miami - These two rivals would be a complete mismatch in my opinion.  I just can't see Miami beating FSU this year.  Jameis Winston would have a field day vs a suspect Hurricanes defense.

3. Oregon vs 6. Stanford - Another rivalry game between conference opponents.  Stanford knows how to stop Oregon.  This would be another fun game to watch.

4. Ohio State vs 5. Missouri - The Big Ten vs the SEC.  For bragging rights.  Braxton Miller vs Maty Mauk.  The Buckeyes 25-game winning streak on the line vs a big bad SEC team.  Both conference fan bases would love for this game to happen.

Could you imagine the ratings for these games?  It would be through the roof.  Better than the NFL Playoffs in my opinion.  You could have Bama vs Baylor in the Cotton Bowl.  FSU vs Miami in the Orange Bowl.  Oregon vs Stanford in the Rose Bowl.  And Ohio State vs Missouri in the Fiesta Bowl. The winners go on to play semifinal games in New Orleans and Atlanta.  Final Championship game could be in Indianapolis or Houston.  It would be epic and it needs to happen.  4-team playoff is cool but an 8-team playoff would be the shit.

Bill Murray Body Slams Lee Corso on College GameDay Set

Well so much for another "game of the century" moment on Saturday night.  Jameis Winston and FSU came into Clemson in a hostile environment and absolutely beat the living shit out of them 51-14.  With the win Famous Jameis is your leading Heisman Trophy contender and FSU makes the big jump up to #2 in the BCS Standings.  This looked like the FSU of old.  They have their swagger back.

Anyways Bill Murray got a little frustrated with Lee Corso's FSU pick Saturday morning and pulled out some old school WWF wrestling moves on the old man.  Corso got the last laugh Saturday night.  Now leave it up to some liberal media d-bags to complain about the savagery of the Seminoles tribe portrayed by the white man here.  Where is Bob Costas when we need his unnecessary and uniformed opinion?

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Ole Miss Girl in Red Dress Remix

HOTTY TODDY INDEED!  Ole Miss does it right!  She's definite marriage material there fellas....and divorce two years later.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

College Football Midseason Awards, All-American Team, and Heisman Contenders

We are unofficially at the midseason part of college football so I thought it would be prudent for us to give out some awards.  Now these are NOT your typical college awards.  No douchiest frat boy or sluttiest sorority girl award will be given away here at SportsCrack.  Sorry fellas.  This is college football.  The only religion that actually matters on Saturday.




COACH OF THE YEAR - Art Briles, Baylor


MOST DISAPPOINTING PLAYER - Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina

TRUE FRESHMAN OF THE YEAR - Vernon Hargreaves, Florida




BEST GAME SO FAR - Georgia 44, LSU 41



BCS TITLE GAME PICK - Alabama vs Oregon


QB Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M
RB Lache Seastrunk, Baylor
RB Bishop Sankey, Washington
WR Odell Beckham, LSU
WR Mike Evans, Texas A&M
WR Jared Abbrederis, Wisconsin
TE Troy Niklas, Notre Dame
OT Taylor Lewan, Michigan
OT Jake Matthews, Texas A&M
OG Cyril Richardson, Baylor
OG David Yankey, Stanford
C Hroniss Grasu, Oregon

DE Michael Sam, Missouri
DE Vic Beasley, Clemson
DT Aaron Donald, Pittsburgh
DT Derrick Hopkins, Virginia Tech
LB Kyle Van Noy, BYU
LB Anthony Barr, UCLA
LB CJ Mosley, Alabama
CB Blake Countess, Michigan
CB Vernon Hargreaves, Florida
S Ed Reynolds, Stanford
S Vinnie Sunseri, Alabama

K Mike Hunnicutt, Oklahoma
P Zac Murphy, Miami (OH)
KR Ty Montgomery, Stanford
PR Kevonte Martin-Manley, Iowa

1. Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M
2. Marcus Mariota, Oregon
3. Jameis Winston, FSU
4. Tajh Boyd, Clemson
5. Bryce Petty, Baylor

1. Oregon
2. Alabama
3. Clemson
4. Baylor
5. FSU
6. Texas A&M
8. Ohio State
9. LSU
10. South Carolina

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

The Battle of Bristol Announced Between Tennessee and Virginia Tech

160,000 fans?  Holy shit.  This is going to be epic.  Unfortunately it's going to be a snoozer of a game between two programs who's better days are way behind them.  Tennessee hasn't been good since Phil Fulmer was winning Cups in Knoxville.  Virginia Tech hasn't been a national title contender since Michael Vick was electrocuting puppies for sport.  But forget about the game itself.  The tailgating should be out of this world.  And really it's the only reason to attend the event.  Granted Tennessee and Va Tech could rebound by 2016.  But this video makes it look like a clash between Alabama and Oregon.  Clearly it is not.  Bristol, TN is not that far away from Atlanta.  I've sworn to my grave I would never attend a NASCAR event but this is different.  It's college football inside a left turn only speedway.  I would think it would be on par with attending Preakness.  Beer will be flowing.  Fuck it I'm in!

Yasiel Puig Does An Incredible Bat Flip To Break Slump

You know Brian McCann, Freddie Freeman, and the rest of the Braves were yelling profanities at their flat screens when Yasiel Puig hit this triple.  This Puig bat flip was beautiful.  Perfect form.  I give it a solid 9.5.  Too bad Puig thought it was a jack and then kind of looked stupid just staring at the ball as it hit the right field fence.  He still legged out a triple and finally broke out of his 0-for-11 skid in the NLCS with flair.  If Puig worked at Chotchkie's he would have at least 37 pieces of flair.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Oregon Cheerleaders To Wear Scary As Shit Custom Contacts Tomorrow For GameDay

Yeah I'm definitely going to be having nightmares about these stupid ass contacts the Oregon Cheerleaders are wearing tomorrow.  Why mess with a great thing?  I know it's Halloween month but WTF?  The only thing they need to be showing is their "O" face.  I'm not saying Oregon is going to lose now to Washington but I am saying they will most definitely not win because some asshole thought it would be a good idea to mess with these girl's eyes.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Authentic Notre Dame 2013 Shamrock Series HydroFX Revolution Speed Helmets Now Available to Order

Less than 100 were made of these 2013 Shamrock Series Hydroskin Riddell Revolution Speed Authentic Full Size Helmets.  These are the same exact helmets Notre Dame wore when they beat Arizona State in Dallas.  We have managed to get our hands on a few of them.  Right now we are only taking PRE ORDERS.  Shipping starts in 2-3 weeks.


Ylvis Performs "What Does The Fox Say?" On Jimmy Fallon

I'm being 110% honest here.  "What Does The Fox Say?" is this generation's greatest song.  It's speaks to me in ways I had no idea was possible.  It touches the soul and leaves a lasting impression.  Ylvis is a modern day Beatles.

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Andrew "Maple Jordan" Wiggins Will Be The Biggest Story in College Basketball This Year

And yes we will be making a "Maple Jordan" shirt after seeing this disgusting between the legs dunk at the McDonald's All-American dunk contest.  Andrew Wiggins is from Toronto hence the "Maple Jordan" nickname which is oh so sweet.

Jadeveon Clowney Answers Media Questions About Him "Quitting"

As you probably know Jadeveon Clowney has not had the greatest junior season.  Hyped as a Heisman front runner by ESPN and multiple media outlets before the season in large part to his "hit" vs Michigan in the bowl game Clowney has not come close to producing (sacks or tackles for loss) his numbers he had his freshman and sophomore seasons.  Now there are questions about his conditioning and his heart.  Does he really want to play?  Or is he afraid to get hurt and kill his draft stock like what happened to his teammate Marcus Lattimore last season and risk losing millions of dollars?

My take: I get a Dwight Howard vibe from Clowney.  He says one thing but I don't believe him.  I don't think his coaches or teammates believe him either.  Even the Ole Ball Coach called him out a bit during his press conference after Clowney decided to sit out vs Kentucky.  Clowney knows he is going to get millions in April and doesn't want to risk it for South Carolina.  I can see where he is coming from.  It's a winning lottery ticket and you don't want to risk everything by putting it in the washing machine.  But I also wouldn't want him on my team.  If he doesn't want to play then fine.  Sit out.  But don't act like you do want to play and then pull some backdoor shit on your teammates, coaches, and fans.

What do you think about Clowney?  Is it much ado about nothing or is he really sitting out to insure his health and NFL Draft stock?

Top 10 College Football Teams and Heisman Contenders

We had another great college football Saturday.  Georgia's dream season almost ended in smoke (Tennessee smoke jerseys to be precise) as they got a couple of miracles at the end of regulation and overtime and hung on to beat a horrible Vols squad.  UGA was decimated with injuries as they lost starting tailback Keith Marshall for the season with an ACL injury and also starting receiver Justin Scott-Wesley to the same injury.  WR Michael Bennett had surgery on a torn meniscus and RB Todd Gurley is still out with a sprained ankle.  The Bulldogs will definitely be on UPSET alert this week as a somewhat hot and undefeated Mizzou team comes to Athens.

Here are my top 10 teams. These are how I would rank them in terms of overall performance and the strength of schedule they have faced.

1. Oregon
2. Alabama
3. Stanford
4. Clemson
5. Baylor
6. Georgia
7. Ohio State
8. Florida State
9. Texas A&M
10. LSU

I dropped Georgia one spot and moved Baylor up to 5.  Despite all the injuries there is no good specific reason why UGA should struggle mightily vs Tennessee.  The Volunteers are god awful and Georgia's defense is still suspect.  Baylor still hasn't played anybody great but they once again put up over 70 points (3rd time in 4 games, other game they scored 69) while demolishing West Virginia.  Their offense is unstoppable and I don't really see the logic of having them rated below Miami of all teams.  Baylor would destroy a team like the Hurricanes.  

FSU makes their first appearance in the top 10 after manhandling a decent Maryland team 63-0.  Jameis Winston had another Heisman-worthy performance and will get the week off before an epic battle next Saturday vs Clemson.  Whoever wins that game could be playing for a National Title come January.

I also got Ohio State in the top 10 for the first time at #7 after a tough road win in Northwestern.  I basically swapped them with UCLA after they squeezed by a bad Utah team.  UCLA and Washington both dropped out while the undefeated Buckeyes and Seminoles make it in there.  Both teams still have a long road ahead in order to get to the top 2.  The Buckeyes schedule is a joke so they are going to need a lot of teams to not only lose but look bad while doing it.

4 SEC Teams.
2 PAC-12 Teams.
2 ACC Teams.
1 Big 12 Team.
1 Big Ten Team.

I would also rank the conferences in strength to this top 10.  The SEC is still the breadwinner but the PAC-12 and ACC are much better this season to year's past.


1. Johnny Manziel - Johnny had plenty of time to sign autographs as the Aggies were off last week.
2. Marcus Mariota - 5 TD passes with no turnovers in another blowout.  He should get a lot of hype this week as they travel to Washington along with ESPN GameDay.
3. Jameis Winston - Tore up an undefeated Maryland team.  Only a redshirt freshman Winston is already a household name.
4. Tajh Boyd - Clemson continues to roll as Boyd threw for 5 TDs in a blowout win vs Syracuse.
5. Aaron Murray - Murray has come up big in crucial moments all season.  He did it again in Knoxville.

Red Sox Shotgunning Beers After Eliminating the Rays

Well since Monday around these parts in Atlanta was considered Black Monday with the Braves again getting eliminated in Choketober and the Falcons blowing a lead vs the shitty Jets on Monday night and falling to 1-4 it's been difficult for me to even watch anything sports related, much less talk about it.   Even though I can't stand the Red Sox this celebration put a smile on my face.  Here we have grown men making millions of dollars acting like high school kids.  I love it.  Just shotgunning beers left and right.  Blood, tears and beers.  Don't ever grow up.

Via BarStoolSports

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

FSU Student Lauren Hanley Needs a Famous Jameis Shirt

I mean how else is she going to cover up those warlocks?  Good lord and we thought Jameis Winston had the most talent in Tallahassee.  Clearly we were wrong.  Dead Double D Wrong.  Somebody get her a Famous Jameis shirt NOW!


Top 10 College Football Teams and Heisman Contenders

Last week finally lived up to some of the preseason hype with a great Georgia vs LSU battle in Athens and old Lane Kiffin getting his ass kicked off the team bus and fired after USC gave up 62 points to Arizona State. With Georgia winning a HUGE game they have set themselves up to reach the National Championship game if they win out. Granted one of Clemson or Oregon would have to lose one game to 100% make sure a one-loss SEC Championship winner gets into the BCS Title game but we know there is no fucking way they both go undefeated with Stanford and FSU on their schedules.

Who replaces Kiffin? My early bet would be Kevin Sumlin. Sumlin will have to replace Johnny Manziel in the offseason along with 3 starting linemen. Plus what is more attractive: College Station, TX or Hollywood? Yeah Sumlin would jump at the opportunity if given it. But you also have Jack Del Rio (no fucking way), Chris Petersen (I could see him leaving Boise), Pat Fitzgerald (seems an odd fit), and James Franklin (can't see Haden putting up with his antics) as viable candidates. Honestly it won't matter who USC hires. They will be better than Kiffin instantly.

Here are my top 10 teams. These are how I would rank them in terms of overall performance and the strength of schedule they have faced.

1. Oregon
2. Alabama
3. Stanford
4. Clemson
5. Georgia
6. Baylor
8. Washington
9. Texas A&M
10. LSU

I think I'm going to regret dropping LSU that low from where I had them last week (3). The Tigers are a really good team. They just faced a better Georgia team at home with a quarterback in Aaron Murray who is playing Heisman-worthy football right now. LSU lost last minute on the road but they still can make it to the SEC Championship and possible the National Championship if they win out including battles vs Bama and Johnny Football. Could it be done? Of course. But right now I would put it at less than 25%. LSU has the feel of a 2-loss team but they are better than UCLA and Washington overall. Fuck I should have LSU definitely higher. I'll probably switch around next week.

Georgia of course makes the big climb back into the top 5. They lost a tough road game to #4 Clemson in the season opener and struggled vs North Texas but they got two tremendous victories at home vs South Carolina and LSU. Both of those victories are like getting strange 9's or 10's in Miami as opposed to banging a 7 somewhere in the Midwest.  Baylor is still the sneaky little sexy bitch with glasses out in Texas who a lot of guys are failing to recognize because they aren't Oklahoma or Texas. In fact they are much better. Again they remind me of Oregon. So much speed. Also you could interchange Oregon and Alabama at the top of the rankings. Both are great programs who could eventually meet in Pasadena. Personally I would love to see those two programs battle it out.

Noticed I've left out Ohio State and Florida State despite being undefeated behind one loss SEC teams Georgia, Aggies, and LSU.  While both the Buckeyes and Seminoles have unbelievable talents at the QB position in Braxton Miller and Jameis Winston I don't see their overall team speed and athleticism up there with the other SEC schools.  Again I could be wrong on this but they will have plenty of chances to sneak up the ladder.


1. Johnny Manziel - Johnny ran and passed all over the Hogs Saturday night.
2. Marcus Mariota - He wasn't flawless because of the monsoon in Eugene but he still lead the Ducks to 55 points vs Cal.
3. Jameis Winston - The Seminoles struggled early on but Famous Jameis came on strong and led the team to romp vs Boston College.
4. Tajh Boyd - Passed the 100 TD career mark in an impressive 49 point victory over Wake.
5. Aaron Murray - Played brilliantly while leading the Dawgs to an impressive win vs the Mad Hatter.

Yup I got all 5 contenders filled with quarterbacks.  It's another one of those years where anyone who doesn't take a snap behind center has much of a chance.  I dropped Todd Gurley (not his fault with the sprained ankle) and replaced him with Aaron Murray.  I still don't have AJ McCarron or Teddy Bridgewater in there.

Best play of the week goes to Famous Jameis with this remarkable play...