SportsCrack Blog

Monday, April 09, 2012

Rob Gronkowski Wants The Madden '13 Cover Spikes The Shit Out Of Megatron

Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski is a free spirit you could say. Gronk led the NFL in touchdown receptions last year, fucks porn stars, rocks out Jersey Shore style with a gimpy ankle in night clubs after a Super Bowl loss, and now apparently has the smallest flat screen I've ever seen for a professional athlete. I guess I just presumed all famous athletes had like 90 inch televisions with 3D, LCD, Double D's, whatever included. Shit was I wrong. You gotta love the Fathead of himself up on the wall and the framed jersey of himself just chilling on the floor at his abode. It's good to know the NFL has humbled the Gronk when he isn't spiking the shit out of Megatron action figures.

Video via Deadspin

Guns Don't Kill People...Yoenis Cespedes Does

Talk about a fucking moon shot! Oakland A's rookie outfielder Yoenis Cespedes, the recent Cuban import, absolutely destroyed this lefty offering Friday night. Cespedes swing is just violence encapsulated. I was trying to think of who it reminded me of finally it came to me: Dante Bichette. It's uncanny how similar their swings are. Just four games into his major league career and the 26 year old has 3 bombs and 7 RBIs. Can we call him a Bash Brother yet? Nah...too premature. Give it 5 games.

Congrats to Bubba Watson

UGA's own Bubba Watson pulled off a spectacular 4 rounds at the Masters this weekend to win his first major and capture the famous green jacket. SportsCrack would like to congratulate Bubba on conquering Augusta with a near flawless performance and one of the best hook shots executed on #10 in the playoffs that we have ever seen. We grew up huge fans of "The Dukes of Hazzard" and it gives us great comfort to know that Bubba can now wear his green jacket while driving one of the General Lees he bought last year. So if you see this guy driving around Atlanta today in his General Lee give him a friendly honk...he just won the Masters!

Here's a tip of the cap to you Mr. Bubba Watson. Keep rocking those overalls and rocking out the pink driver with 350 yard bombs lefty...