SportsCrack Blog

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Manti Te'o Comes Clean About His Dead Fake Girlfriend

Yep. Totally believable. I know it's not cool to make fun of Manti Te'o right now because we have to try to remember that a girl that never existed is dead. It's sad. Te'o was clearly the victim of a "Catfish" scheme which before today I had never heard of. Today the internet clearly won as Te'o's fake girlfriend crashed Twitter and Facebook. And people still want to say Notre Dame isn't relevant. When it comes to dead fake girlfriends clearly nobody, and I mean nobody, beats Notre Dame. Here is a picture of Manti hugging his dead fake girlfriend.

Video of Oregon Fans Reacting To News Of Chip Kelly Leaving For The NFL

 Nothing to see here folks.  It looks like they are taking it perfectly well.

Well it was good knowing you Ducks.
/BCS Bowl Committee

College Football Depression Is Starting To Kick In

I still can't believe this season is done.  No more college football for another 180 days.  What the fuck am I suppose to do between now and then?  Talk to my family?  I don't even know their names.  I think I called my brother Manti a few times over Christmas break.  I'm not even shitting you.

Oh well I guess we got National Signing Day in February to look forward to and then the spring football games and what not.  2012 was a great year for this college football fan.  I got to watch my team finally compete for their first National Title in over 20 years.  Yeah they got their asses kicked down in Miami but it still won't take away the memories of a great and special season by the Fighting Irish.

You know college football is your favorite sport when you just stop watching ESPN after the season is officially over.  I have almost zero interest in college basketball and the NBA right now.  I couldn't tell you shit about either because I've literally watched maybe two hours of basketball all season (and that was the Maryland vs Kentucky game to tip off the season).  There is just no sport that matches up with the excitement of college football.  Thank God my Atlanta Falcons won last week or I wouldn't even be watching the NFL right now.  I'm just happy the Dirty Birds won a playoff game and got that enormous monkey off of Mike Smith and Matty Ice's back.  I guess it's not all that depressing when you  think about it but it still feels like you are settling for a side piece in the NFL instead of being with your true love in college football.

Here are my top 10 teams going into the 2013 season:

1.  Bama - Duh!  They got McCarron back along with the greatest football coach of my generation in Nick Saban and they will simply reload.

2.  ND - 15 starters back including a freshman QB in Everett Golson who I thought played great in the BCS Championship.  The defense should again be solid with Nix and Tuitt up front and the schedule looks less daunting.  It also helps that Brian Kelly didn't ditch them.

3.  Oregon - Oregon is in the same boat as ND.  The Quack Attack get their coach back along with a freshman QB in Marioti who continued to get better.  Stanford will be their only true test again.  EDIT: Nevermind Chip Kelly is going to Philly to take the Iggles job.

4.  Stanford - Holy shit have they built an elite program or what?  3 straight BCS berths and 12 win seasons makes them legitimate contenders for a title in 2013.  People tend to forget they won the PAC-12 last year and not Oregon.

5.  South Carolina - Connor Shaw, Jadaveon Clowney and Steve Spurrier all return to Columbia.  The schedule won't be as tough as last season either.

6.  Texas A&M - Johnny Football and Kevin Sumlin had a storybook first season in the SEC.  The former middle of the pack Big 12 team will have a giant bullseye on them this season though.  Can Johnny Heisman avoid the sophomore slump?

7.  Ohio State - They got a great QB in Braxton Miller and a great coach in Urban Meyer.  Plus their schedule is fucking garbage so they have a legit shot at going undefeated...again.

8.  Louisville - I know it's only one game and you shouldn't just a team by it but the way Teddy Bridgewater scorch earthed the Gators defense was simply too hard to ignore.  Charlie Strong is building a juggernaut up there in Louisville.

9.  Oklahoma - Getting rid of Landry Jones makes them better in my opinion.  I don't think the Sooners are that great but I wouldn't be shocked to see Blake Bell put up a Tebowesque season for the Norman faithful.

10.  Georgia - Aaron Murray is back along with 9 other starters on the offensive side of the ball that should again put up a ton of points.  The defense was already a liability and now losing all their studs to the NFL won't help causes with a schedule much tougher than the past 2 seasons.

Vanderbilt's James Franklin's Business Card Is Completely Boss

No wonder Vanderbilt is now somewhat competitive in the SEC.  Holy shit look at that complete boss business card head football coach James Franklin is carrying.  Patrick Bateman would literally kill for that fucker.

I'm the CEO* of a booming internet sports apparel business and I don't even carry a business card.  Even if I did have one it wouldn't be nearly as cool as this one.  It would be like wearing a Swatch watch at a a Breitling party.  I just feel inadequate after seeing Franklin's business card.  If I'm a football recruit I sign my letter of intent as soon as Franklin hands over that bad boy.

I got $500 on Lane Kiffin's business card is printed on toilet paper?  Anybody want to take the bet?

Via SB Nation

* code for raging functional alcoholic who sells t-shirts on the side.

This NFL Bad Lip Reading Video Will Make Your Day

Jim Harbaugh wants his cake!