SportsCrack Blog

Wednesday, July 02, 2008


Video HT: Deadspin

The above radio clip is from ESPN radio show The Herd with the not impressed Joe Buck in regards to baseball and sports in general. Before I go off on Buck I must admit he does have some valid points in regards to the national past time. Yes, baseball is boring and takes up a lot of time if you are not interested in the sport. I don't expect everybody to enjoy watching the game of baseball just like I don't expect everybody to love it as much as I do in regards to say the movie "Braveheart."

Everyone is different and entitled to their own opinions. But the problem I have with Buck making these statements is the same I would have if Mel Gibson came out and said he doesn't watch "Braveheart" and thought it was kind of boring. Buck, whether he likes it or not, is suppose to be one of the voices of baseball. If he doesn't enjoy it then FOX should do the right thing and fire his ass.

Listen, I can't stand Dick Vitale sometimes because of his over exuberance and his shouting while he tries to give Coach K a mouthjob. But I do respect the guy because he seems to genuinely love the game of college basketball. Vitale is a great voice for college basketball and does a tremendous job of promoting it. It seems that Joe Buck is the exact opposite and has been handed this unbelievable dream job from his father, the late great St. Louis Cardinal's announcer Jack, and doesn't appreciate it. Literally the guy has been given a silver spoon his entire life with access to a game many of us can only dream about and yet he would rather shit on it as opposed to eating it up. Are we suppose to feel sorry for Buck that he would rather watch "The Bachelorette" than have to endure watching a complete baseball game?

I say fuck him. If he doesn't enjoy watching baseball or any other sport for that matter then don't expect to be earning future checks while you put us through another boring telecast. Buck has and always will be a wet noodle. The guy who was apparently horribly offended by Randy Moss showboating in Green Bay also is a "disgusting act" when it comes to baseball announcing. The guy can literally put me to sleep with his monotone voice. He brings back memories of 9th grade history class. My hope is one day Buck wakes up and realizes how good of a life he has and then just walks away and becomes history.

Go watch your Bachelorette you fucking toolbag!

By the way, DeAnna is so picking Jesse it's not even fair for her to lead on Jason like she is.

Oh my gawd people, I am getting so wet thinking of Sportscrack!


Listen, we are only half way through the season and already Boston Red Sox fans are freaking out about losing to the Tampa Bay Rays. There are still 80 plus games to go people. Stop being so fucking pathetic up there and learn to control your anger. Once David Ortiz starts juicing again and comes off the disabled list then your team will again be the dominating bitch they should be. Look, I hate the Red Sox as much as anybody could but even I see the daylight. There is absolutely no way this Red Sox team is missing the playoffs and more than likely they will win their division over the Rays. So put down your Dunkin Donut, take a deep breath, and take your finger out of your ass. Remember people I have money on the Red Sox winning the whole thing this year so if anybody should be freaking out it should be me. But I am cool and collective.

And remember to always drink a beer and love it. Don't throw it or spit it out or get mad at it. Beer is our lover and not our enemy. Okay, I will stop now.


Okay, it's not hockey but it looks like one of the Molina brothers is practicing to play goalie against this Mariano Rivera fastball to the gonads...

It would appear the NHL and offspring are now out of the question for Molina. I feel for him. See, I play baseball and I refuse to wear a cup because I have been told I have really big balls. Seriously, my priest told me. Trying to wear a cup and running around feels like someone is putting my man pieces in a stranglehold, twisting them till they feel like they are going to pop. So one day I get hit on a wicked grounder that just nicked the nut. One of those where you don't think it hit you till about ten seconds later and your stomach aches and you start spitting uncontrollably. The point of the story is always wear a cup when you visit a Costa Rican brothel. Those broads are into nut shots.

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing