SportsCrack Blog

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Lindsey Pelas Knows How to Throw the Perfect BBQ

Seriously who eats ribs like that?

Savages.  God damn savages with BBQ sauce all over their cleavage that's who.

Always good to see Bud Light get back in the marketing game for the male demographic.  If Lindsey Pelas and her hindenburgs don't have you thirsty for some cold Bud Lights then you my friend got a case of the gay.

Key & Peele Football Pre-Game Pump-Up Routine Video Will Get You Hyped For Another Season

73 more days till football is back.   "Play the game like it's the last game of your life."

England's "Come On Our Girls!" Soccer Banner is Enticing

If England insists then so be it.

Who am I to argue?

Josh Donaldson Sacrifices His Limbs With This Diving Grab into the Toronto Stands

I still am trying to figure out why the Oakland A's traded him to the Blue Jays for a bag of dog shit.

Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh Goes Off The Map To Add a Zero Star French Canadian Player

Well if Michigan is ever going to catch up with Ohio State in football it will be because their zero star French Canadian player is better than the Buckeye's five star guy.

Listen I'm not here to shit on Jim Harbaugh or this frenchy named Benjamin St-Juste because clearly a shirtless Harbaugh would kick my ass.

I'm just kind of questioning Harbaugh's reasoning on taking a Canadian zero star player at this point.  They already have 18 commits for their class and 4 of those are rated 2 stars.  Basically if you know how to put on your pads you get rated a 2 star.  You can only give out so many scholarships (85 max on current roster) so I'm presuming either Harbaugh has an eye for talent unlike any other or he really thinks his team is going to suck donkey balls in 2015.

Harbaugh is a proven winner and Michigan is a storied football program but I'm starting to think there is a good reason why Michigan has only won one National Championship (split at that) in the past 80 years.  Farewell Michigan.  It was good knowing you.

No it wasn't.

This Mexican Weather Girl Yanet Garcia Will Keep You From Changing the Channel

You know how I know this country is going to hell?

We get Al Roker while Mexico gets Yanet Garcia.

Game.  Set.  Match.

Mexico clearly wins in the game of life when it comes to weather "personalities."

Atlanta Hawks Reveal New Uniforms and of course they Fucking Suck

Listen I'm an Atlanta sports fan so I can say this without hesitation: this is so typical of an Atlanta sports franchise move.  You have the best season in your history (getting swept in this Eastern Conference Finals!) and instead of riding the train in the right direction you pull an U turn and say "fuck it" lets change everything.  Take a look at these jersey abortions...

Atlanta sports are like this.  We just can't have nice things.  We had to add a completely unnecessary neon green to the uniform because some marketing genius thought it was cool.  We will also go ahead and run out GM Danny Ferry (turned around the franchise in less than 2 seasons) because he read out loud a scouting report in private that had "insensitive" remarks about Luol Deng who doesn't even play on the fucking team.

This uniform proves that Atlanta sports are cursed.  Cursed by morons.  Somewhere Maryland Terps officials are laughing out loud at these monstrosities.

Cubs Fan Catches Foul Ball While Holding a Baby and Feeding Him

Somebody needs to give Cubs fan Keith Hartley a contract!

Look at the concentration while Hartley is feeding his seven-month-old son in his left arm and yet manages to bare hand a foul ball while protecting his son from a possible ricochet.  Bravo Keith!  Bravo.

Hartley's catch was later overturned by MLB replay officials and deemed an out since Dodgers Adrian Gonzalez appeared to be ready to make the catch but you can't fault Hartley on this one.  All he is doing is watching a ball come directly towards him.  It's human nature to try to catch the ball and shield your son from it.

Hartley's catch of course went viral and his 15 minutes of fame are extending into today...

A few hundred texts and emails came his way. Interviews on morning shows on WGN-Ch. 9 and WMAQ-Ch. 5 and the “Eric and Kathy” radio show were completed. And appearances on “Inside Edition,” ESPN’s “Waddle and Silvy Show” and Dan Patrick’s radio show were on deck.

“It’s been nonstop,” Hartley said Wednesday morning. “I haven’t gotten much sleep over the course of the evening, but with a new baby, he prepared me for it. Not really a new thing.”

The only thing that would have made this viral video better is if Hartley was wearing a Krush Bryant shirt.   Oh well we can't all be perfect.