SportsCrack Blog

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Tomorrow I am boarding a plane for Vegas for my buddy Chuck's bachelor party and was thinking about throwing down some bets on the opening weekend of college football. One line stood out to me from week 1. The Florida Gators are 73 point favorites over Charleston Southern according to USA Today's Danny Sheridan. Ten touchdowns and a fucking field goal favorites are the defending champion Gators! I know these teams are two total mismatches but you don't think the Gators will be running up the score this early being #1 preseason do you?

I need the help of the Sportscrack Nation. Do I bet on Florida not covering the -73 or shall I say fuck it, the Gators are going to dismantle them and win by at least 80? Leave your comments below.


Y'ALL, Britney Spears made an appearance on Late Show with David Letterman doing the "Top Ten Ways the Country Would be Different if Britney Spears were President" and I must say, it looks like she is back in a good way...

I give her two more years of solid clean living till she makes her way back to dysfunctional crazy Mom and accepts a spot on Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab. Speaking of Celebrity Rehab have you seen their cast of characters for the new season? Not trying to sound gay or anything but this season should be very entertaining with Mindy McCready (aka Roger Clemens mistress talking about his shrunken mansack), NBA great Dennis Rodman, Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss, actor Tom Sizemore, bassist Mike Starr from Alice in Chains (one of the more underrated bands of all-time) among others dishing out their daily addictions and problems on national television. Now that is entertainment folks that make you, me, and everybody else feel good about themselves.


A joke for you on this glorious bastard of a day they like to call Hump for some reason...

"Why I fired my Secretary"

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,

' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

On the couch...


HT: Joe