SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Listen, I'm too lazy and busy to type blogs about sports today. It's called the Fairchild syndrome. Some people call it a disease, I call it fucking Thursday. Anyways, here are some clips of Eastbound and Down. The greatest fucking television show ever. And unfortunately it's not available On Demand right now because it's too fucking awesome.

"Honey I love you, I think you are a terrific girl, but you have clothes like a fucking dickhead!"

Feel free to leave some of your favorite Kenny Powers lines in the comments section.


Ever since I saw this pothead's ugly mug in Gainesville there has always been something really annoying about him that just gets under my skin. Maybe it was his Michael Strahan smile or his disgusting long hair or maybe the way he danced but there has always been an instant turn the channel moment for me when current Chicago Bulls forward Joakim Noah shows up for any considerable amount of time on screen. TMZ now has pictures of Noah having a grand old time with some chick with big fake jugs down in St. Barts. This makes me only hate him more. Supposedly the topless girl is his girlfriend which in NBA terms means he is stuck with her for a while because he gave her some kind of STD. It's called the Dwyane Wade rule. Maybe hate is a little too strong of a word to use for Noah. I give him props for hooking up with Milkjugs. She doesn't look like some Alien form that A-Roid would fuck.

Speaking of players I can't stand, there is a certain shortstop for the Atlanta Braves who thinks he is A-Roid. Yunel Escobar carries himself in a way that only blind people could admire. He has frosted tips and doesn't run or hustle worth a shit. He thinks he is a superstar but the guy has as much range at shortstop as Adam Dunn in the outfield. Every time I see Escobar I want to punch him in his cocky face. You are no A-Roid or Chipper for that matter so stop acting like you are hot shit Yunel. I'm not going to deny the talent that Escobar possesses but if the dipshit doesn't at least hustle a little bit more than I don't see why the Braves kept him this offseason. Get rid of the frosted hair and the smug look of superstardom you think you have become. You are nothing but a tool Yunel who can occasionally hit doubles but are too lazy to leg them out for triples. And stop hitting into so many fucking double plays please. It gets really annoying when the Braves get some momentum and you come up and hit into an inning ending DP for the 5th time in less than a week. Seriously, you hit into more DP's than strikeouts on inside fastballs by Jordan Schafer.