SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Big Ben Hurts his Vagina

The Steelers had a big win last night in Washington, but it was not without a loss. Big Ben Roethlisberger was injured on a quarterback sneak close to the end of the second quarter of Pittsburgh's 23-6 victory against those crazy Indians. But, "my friends," this was not the big story. It appears after an MRI this morning that Roethlisberger not only aggravated his shoulder, he also tore a few muscles in his vagina. Teammates aren't too sure when the freak accident actually took place, but they are highly suspicious that the Redskins' cheerleaders played a small role in the incident.

Last week Big Ben's little Ben started to get scared. He was overheard stating...

“I’m not a big fan of playing there because it is loud, they’re really good at home and they try to make their cheerleaders stretch in our tunnel before we come out of the locker room. That’s just not good.”

WHAT!!?? Are you kidding me? Cheerleaders are going to distract you to the point where you are scared to play in D.C.? If he was a real man he would approach one of the hot-ass cheerleaders stretching in front of him, grab her ass, and say, "Hey there little foxy lady, how about I throw a touchdown pass for you tonight, then I'll go deep in your endzone after the game." Turn that distraction into a positive thing. Make it an inspiration. Show off for her!

Seriously, you're in the NFL and you can't handle some hottie showing off her assets for you? You're in the NFL. Go out and bang these hot cheerleaders. Live for suckers like me, stuck at home married, and jerking off every day to stay happy.


Or as my Georgian right wing Christian friends would say, Berman interviewing a "Socialist Muslim terrorist who just happens to have the middle name of Hussein, I mean come on, he is the enemy."

This is for you guys. Get over it. You will get to elect the MILF in 2012.

Video HT: Deadspin

Okay, so that isn't the real interview but if you did actually watch the real one and you are a college football junkie like myself how could you not get a little chub when Obama mentioned 8 team playoff as the one thing he would change in sports? I practically wet myself in delight when he mentioned it. Eight teams is perfect as long as USC is not involved. Can we make that a stipulation. Only then will you have my vote.


I was up at my Dad's house last night celebrating his birthday with the family and he mentioned this play from Friday night's game between Lassiter and Centennial High School. I don't really follow Georgia high school football anymore because I'm not allowed to be near any school campuses after my tryst with a sophomore girl a few years back. Hey, she looked 18, possibly 17. But all kidding aside this is one hell of a play by Lassiter tight end Philip Lutzenkirchen. I can't seem to recall a play like this ever happening in college or pro ball so I'm sure Lutzenkirchen is enjoying his 15 minutes of fame with tons of strange attacking him from all corners. Good for him.

As a wise man once said, "That is what I like about these high school girls, I get older, they stay the same age"....

High School Video HT: WithLeather via HotClicks


I just discovered the new wheel of the sports blogosphere with now being a major part of my daily sports fix. Even if you are not a die hard hockey fan you have to enjoy a good old fashion hockey fight with some haymakers and upper cuts thrown while players skate on a dangerously thin piece of ice just waiting to feel the impact of the loser in the scrum.

Here is a taste of their latest fight between Sean Avery(tough guy who is a pain in the ass and who might be bisexual, hence the pain in the ass) and Andrew Ference and the announcer going crazy...

"Ference banging Avery...Ference wants more...he wants to rip that guy limb from limb!!"

Now that is how you call a hockey fight. I'm presuming it's NESN's Jack Edwards and it's great to see the little guy who won an Emmy as a reporter for ESPN's Sportscenter back in the day now going crazy for the Bruins.

Anyways, go over to if you want to catch the latest NHL fight.