SportsCrack Blog

Wednesday, April 08, 2009


If Koji Uehara hits T-Bag Teixeira in the neck he will instantly become a cult hero in Baltimore. By next week they will have a bronze statue with his goofy smile right next to the Babe statue. I'm just saying....Go Koji! Go O's! FU T-Bag!


Time to call up Tommy Hanson. The Braves bullpen simply can't throw strikes. They walked in four guys in one inning while also hitting another batter, blowing a 7 run lead in the 7th inning. This loss hurts big time for the Braves. And yes, I am available to throw strikes over the plate Frank Wren. Just wanna throw that out there.


Jessica Biel would like to get something off her chest. Everything in fact. The scene is from her new movie called Powder Blue where she plays a stripper. One can only hope she has a Halle Berry type Monster's Ball scene to help her win that elusive Oscar.

Video HT: Barstool Sports

Here is a Biel practice video for "research" purposes...


Only 2 games into the season and there are already riots among Phillies fan over their play. Come on guys, there are still 160 games left to catch up with the Atlanta Braves. Go spread some Whiz over your vaginas and buck up. Remember who won the championship last year...


Yeah, I know it's only two games into the season but you have to admit the Atlanta Braves look really good so far. Their starting pitching has completely dominated the defending champion Phillies lineup with Derek Lowe and Jair Jurrjens both throwing gems. With the 2-0 record against the Phillies it already matches their win total against them last season after 16 games against their rival. The team this year appears to be completely different and I should give Frank Wren some props.

During the offseason I pretty much criticized Wren's every move early on. I hated the fact that they were going hard for AJ Burnett and throwing out a ridiculous contract offer to a guy who has had one healthy season. Luckily the Yankees "stole" him away from the Braves and gave him a Carl Pavano/Mike Hampton deal that will surely blow up in their pinstripe faces. I got mad when it sounded like they were going to give up Yunel Escobar, Kelly Johnson, and most notably hot shot prospect Tommy Hanson(autograph baseball available here) for Jake Peavy. Luckily those rumors never came true and the Braves still have their middle infield along with Hanson who is going to be best Braves power pitcher since John Smoltz in my opinion. Wren has moved on to trade for starter Javier Vasquez (a deal that is still up in the air with me), signed Derek Lowe (overpaid but needed to be done), signed Kenshin Kawakami and he let John Smoltz go. I have gotten over the Smoltz leaving Atlanta issue. I don't blame Wren for it. The Braves were put in a bad position where they honestly couldn't win in the PR department with a guy who won't be ready till midseason at best. The point is Wren addressed the starting rotation in the offseason and it now appears if all of them can stay healthy the Braves can compete with anybody in the National League.

The Garrett Anderson signing appears to be paying off after Griffey decided to go back to Seattle. I can't blame Junior for wanting to prove something in Seattle but it would have been great to see him in a Braves uniform. Either way Wren had a backup plan and Anderson appears to fit in well. They resigned Chipper Jones so he can remain a lifelong Bravo and brought up a young centerfielder by the name of Jordan Schafer who reminds me a lot of Grady Sizemore. The future looks extremely bright through these Tomahawk glasses.

What really has me excited is seeing guys like Schafer perform early on and knowing Brian McCann and Jeff Francoeur are both still young guys under the age of 25. Hot shot prospects Jason Heyward and Freddie Freeman are both future middle of the order sluggers who should remind Braves fans of the David Justice and Fred McGriff combo. The Braves could have a murderous row of hitters for the next 8-10 years if all these guys pan out to their enormous hype.

So I need to eat my words so to speak on Wren. He has done a good job assembling a team that is ready to compete in 2009. What more can you ask for? A World Series banner would be nice.