LET'S LIGHTEN UP THE MOOD WITH ROLLERTOWN

"DAD, What's a double dicker?"...is that the main character from Kids? You know, the one with the messed up New York accent who always wanted to hit up the virgins. Kids was so disturbing I can still never go back to New York without thinking of those characters. I'm going to take a hot bath in vinegar and tears right now.

R.I.P NICK ADENHART

Horrible news out of Anaheim this morning as it was learned that Anaheim Angels rookie pitcher Nick Adenhart was killed in a hit-and-run accident shortly after pitching the best game of his young major league career. Just 22 years old and making his 4th big league start, Adenhart pitched 6 scoreless innings last night while striking out 5 against the Oakland A's. Adenhart was a highly regarded prospect out of Silver Springs, MD who was expected to fortify an Angels rotation this year with injuries to 3 of their starters including John Lackey, Kelvin Escobar, and Ervin Santana.

I've followed Adenhart's career pretty closely since he was drafted. As a Maryland boy I was hoping somehow he could be traded to his hometown Orioles this past offseason. It sucks to see someone so young be taken so quickly. It appears his father got a chance to maybe say goodbye to his son according to the Baltimore Sun...

"His father flew out here from Baltimore to watch him start last night, so his father is here, obviously going through a great deal of grief," Angels spokesman Tim Mead said at the stadium.

My heartfelt condolences go out to the Adenhart family and friends as well as the Angels organization. There are no jokes to be written. I will pour one out for Adenhart tonight.

SOME TOURNAMENT CALLED THE MASTERS IS UNDERWAY

This shitty video footage is from Tuesday at the Masters with Vijay Singh skipping a shot over the water and getting a hole-in-one. Tiger laughed when told about the shot and simply walked over water. He placed the ball into the hole when all of a sudden the clouds parted and the songs of angels and sunlight came down from the skies showing that Tiger is the true God of Golf.

Is there really any doubt Tiger will win this tournament? It appears Vegas thinks Tiger is pretty much a cinch to win his 5th green jacket. Here are the odds for the top 10 guys...

Tiger Woods 4/11
Phil Mickelson 7/5
Padraig Harrington 11/4
Geoff Ogilvy 3/1
Retief Goosen 4/1
Sergio Garcia 9/2
Paul Casey 9/2
Ernie Els 5/1
Rory McIlroy 5/1
Anthony Kim 11/2

So you would literally have to throw down 110 bucks to win back 40. Those are some sick odds. A lot of people think Mickelson will be there with him on the final day but I don't think so. If anyone has a chance it's Padraig Harrington who has a chance to win his third major in a row. It would make a hell of a story this weekend if Tiger and the Fighting Irishman were battling hole-to-hole to number 72.

Oh yeah, why is Sergio Garcia listed at 9/2? Garcia is notorious for taking his sweet time to hit the ball and for not winning a major. He won't this weekend either. The guy just doesn't have it. I blame it on Martina Hingis. She royally fucked up his luck.

PREDICTION: Tiger wins by 2 strokes over Harrington.

BRITNEY SPEARS WORDS OF WISDOM

This was in Vancouver last night at Britney's Circus Tour. Apparently she walked off stage at one point in the show because she smelled weed. In Canada the weed laws are not enforced with such brute force as they are here in the States. Law enforcement accepts for what it is...a way to get high and why are you not passing it over here. Puff puff give mofo. So anywho Britney spouts off these words of wisdom to all her Canadian fans, this coming from a girl who shaved her head and shows off her box at the drop of a dime...

"Thank you Vancouver. Drive safe, don't smoke weed and rock out with your cock out. Peace out mother fuckers!"

Yes, Britney is back and more dirty than ever. God blessed her in so many ways. What an angel.

Video HT: WWTDD