SportsCrack Blog

Friday, September 28, 2012

For the First Time Ever I Actually Agree With ESPN's Todd McShay

WTF is wrong with me? Am I taking crazy pills? I actually agree completely here with Todd McShay's top Heisman candidates at this point of the season. Obviously my bias would put Manti Te'o at the top of the list but I can't disagree with having Colin Klein at the top right now. Klein has been huge in big victories over Miami and Oklahoma and is having a RG3 type season so far.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Real Refs Are Back So Take The Ravens Big Tonight

Thank God Ed Hochuli and his 60 inch pythons are back signaling for first downs starting tonight in Baltimore. I was getting worried I was going to lose all my damn beer with these replacement officials calling touchdowns on interceptions. Tonight is the RIP Art Modell Bowl. The Ravens were the Browns before they moved to Baltimore and now the Browns are still the same old shitty team they were when Tim Couch was getting slaughtered by the wolves in the late 90's. But this time they have Brandon Weeden at QB. I know what you are thinking and you are right...Ed Reed will have a touchdown.

Take the Ravens and the points at -13. In fact take the OVER too because the Ravens will score more than 44 themselves tonight. The Browns will put some points on the board but they won't be closer than 20 all night.

Hooker spit and cocaine confidence level: 9 out of 10

Rookie Hazing At It's Absolute Best: Tampa Bay Rays at Fenway Park

Tampa Bay Rays pitcher David Price twitted out this video of some rookie hazing at the hands of his teammates. See it's not all about "butt chugging" and killing people. It's about wearing throwback Olivia Newton John leotards and dancing to "Call Me Maybe" at Fenway Park. This is rookie hazing at it's finest. Not to sound gay or anything but a couple of those girls had smoking bodies.

Via HotClicks

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Seth Macfarlane Nails His Ryan Lochte Impression On SNL

Yeah...athletes are dumb. But I agree with Lochte on one thing. That new show "Monkey Hospital" looks hilarious.

Vegas SportsBook Reaction to Controversial Golden Tate Touchdown Catch

I will be the first to admit the NFL has been a joke this season with the replacement referees butchering the games but I also have to admit this has already been one of the more entertaining NFL seasons that I can recall. Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Golden Tate clearly committed an offensive pass interference that is rarely if ever called especially when it comes to a hail mary pass but I gotta love the two referees looking at one another and then agreeing to call opposite calls. Priceless.

I'm so glad I decided not to bet on this game. I was close to betting heavily on the Packers at -3. With the controversial TD the Seahawks won by 2. And Vegas erupted as expected. If you are a gambling man stay away from the NFL. The NFL is always uncertain but now with the replacement officials it's become chaos.

And just a FYI when I watched the play live I thought it was an interception but when they landed on the ground it looked to me that Golden had wrestled the ball away. If the Packers just bat the ball away we have no controversy.

Video via TheBigLead via Beyond The Bets

Monday, September 24, 2012

Taking Pre Orders Now On Catholics Vs Mormons The Holy War T-shirts

Here is another new t-shirt called CATHOLICS VS MORMONS : THE HOLY WAR . We are taking pre orders on this limited edition t-shirt. Shirts will ship later this week.

Manti Te'o For Heisman

How can you not root for a guy like Manti Te'o? The guy plays with his heart on his sleeve and every day he gives you his all. There isn't a better middle linebacker in the college game and the last two weeks there hasn't been a more complete college player than Manti. I know defensive players don't win Heismans but just like Ndamukong Suh a few seasons ago it's time for the best player in college to get one. So why not Manti Te'o?

By the way Troy Niklas is a maniac. I could of swore that was the Incredible Hulk shirtless at the pep rally last week.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

DO IT 2 IT T-Shirt

Here is this week's SportsCrack Apparel's newest t-shirt: DO IT 2 IT. It comes in two different styles: regular old 100% soft cotton or the new cool-dri performance tee. Navy shirt with metallic gold, white and a very defensive grey facemask. Right now we are taking pre orders and shipping will start next week.

Order your shirt today at

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Lane Kiffin Being Lane Kiffin: Walks Out of Press Conference

Oh how we love thee Lane Kiffin. You know it's pretty bad when even USC grads and fans are fucking embarrassed to have this dick as their head coach. While he wasn't busy enough to throw his quarterback and senior captain Matt Barkley under the bus for the loss on Saturday to Stanford he obviously doesn't have the time now to answer any more questions from the media.

Via TheBigLead via @LindseyThiry

Every College Football Fan in 53 Seconds

Brilliant. My favorite was the FSU fan.

The Orioles Call Up Top Pitching Prospect Dylan Bundy

With the Baltimore Orioles just finishing an 18-inning marathon win over the Seattle Mariners last night shortly before 4 AM they made an even bolder move than widening their wild card lead. They called up the top prospect in all of baseball Dylan Bundy.

Bundy was the 4th overall pick in last year's draft out of high school and now a little over a year is already in the big leagues at the ripe age of 19. Bundy went a combined 9-3 with a 2.08 ERA at three different minor-league levels so far this season.

The Orioles are clearly going for it all this season. With their first winning season secured in 15 years they have broken from the norm by calling up top prospects early when most of the experts viewed it as questionable at best. Manny Machado was called up a few months ago to fill in at third base. He has solidified their infield defense (Orioles haven't made an error in 10 games after leading the majors in the category) while also coming up with clutch hits. Machado just turned 20 and now Bundy the teenager will play a huge pivotal role in getting the Orioles back into the playoffs.

If you are an Orioles fan or baseball fan in general you have to be excited. The Orioles are a team full of young guys with some veterans that were cast aways and yet are tied with the New York Yankees for first place with 15 games to go. They are the David to the Yankees Goliath. In two weeks we will see how fresh faces like Bundy and Machado are able to cast their stones and slay the beast of the East.

Via FoxSports

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Reliving Stanford's Beat Down of USC Video

Is Stanford a serious title contender? They lost their star QB in Andrew Luck and 3 of their offensive linemen to the NFL and still ran all over USC. Their schedule is brutal with Notre Dame and Oregon coming up but with a stingy defense and a really good running attack they could win both. I'm not a Stanford fan but I do admire how they play the game. They have toughness. They have grit. And they have the dumbest mascot in all of sports.

Great video by the way. It captures college football and it's spirit in 100 seconds. Awesome.

The Naval Academy's Gangnam Style Has Now Gone Viral

Go Navy! Beat Army!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Perfect Day: Notre Dame Destroys Sparty, USC Gets Thrown Around By Stanford

I'm glad Notre Dame didn't listen to all the "experts" out there who predicted the Fighting Irish didn't have a fighting chance in East Lansing vs Sparty. Well Notre Dame kicked the shit out of Sparty in every facet of the game. That is what you call a signature win on the road. The momentum should be outstanding heading into the Michigan game. The defense will want to prove that the last two seasons of Denard going ham on them in the second half was a fluke.

Heisman favorite Matt Barkley is now 0-4 vs Stanford after USC got their dicks kicked in by the Cardinal last night. You can kiss Barkley's Heisman goodbye (less than 50% completion, 0 TDs, 2 INTs) and USC BCS Title aspirations too.

Yesterday was a great day for college football. Go Irish!

Friday, September 14, 2012

New Notre Dame Wilson Football F1003 GST With Leprechaun Available for Pre Order

We are taking pre orders now on the brand new Notre Dame Wilson Game Day Authentic Footballs. We got a limited edition coming in next week from Wilson and the expected shipment is around the 20th of September. Get your order in now to reserve a Football before they sell out.

Herschel Walker Heisman Commercial

That look on Herschel's face says it all. Don't mess with the greatest college running back of all-time Matt Leinart. It won't end well.

OJ was originally cast in Herschel's spot but for some reason he couldn't make it. Hmm. I wonder why?

Via LeatherHelmetBlog

Way To Hustle Josh Beckett

I was wondering to myself if there was a less root able player than Jay "jerk face" Cutler and I think we found our answer: Josh Beckett. Jesus Christ you get paid $16 million a year you think you could hustle 90 fucking feet to first base. But no. Josh Beckett doesn't need to hustle because he mows down hitters on the mound like it's 2003. Oh wait, never mind. He sucks balls now. Have fun with that contract Dodgers.

Via BarstoolSports

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Manny Machado Fakes Throw, Picks Off Rays Rich Thompson

This kid is just a rookie. If Derek Jeter makes this play it's shown five million times in the next 2 weeks. But Jeter isn't that heads up to make a play like this. Manny Machado is not a rookie anymore. He's a freak. Not only did he make this great play in the top of the 9th to preserve a tie game with the Rays but then he singled and scored the winning walk off run. It's September 13th and the Orioles are still tied for FIRST PLACE with the New York Yankees! 20 games to go. It's pennant fever in Baltimore.

I'm pretty sure Gary Thorne almost shit his pants when he saw Machado fake the throw. He at least had a honey fart.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Notre Dame Joins The ACC, Football Team Will Play 5 Games Annually Against ACC Opponents

Huge addition for the ACC Conference as Notre Dame will join the conference in all sports except football and hockey. The hockey team will join the Hockey East. The football team will remain independent but will play 5 games annually against ACC opponents. This year they already have 4 ACC opponents in Miami, Boston College, Wake Forest, and Pitt. The Big Ten meanwhile is sitting in the corner crying while sucking their thumb.

Personally I think this is a great move for Notre Dame. They join a power basketball conference while opening more doors down South for recruits. They get to keep all of their revenues in football while playing a national schedule. Athletic director Jack Swarbrick made the right move. It should be interesting to see how the bowl game scenarios play out.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

High School Football Streaker With the Getaway Car

Dude. That was awesome. Not only did the masked streaker accomplish his goal of streaking on his high school football field but he managed to get away. His junk just flopping everywhere, dangerously close to getting it clipped while jumping over two fences. This guy deserves a beer. SportsCrack says Bravo. Now let's please start getting women to do this. It's instant fame ladies!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Arkansas Razorbacks fans are fucking nuts

This lady masturbates to a Tyler Wilson doll every night. I'm convinced. Holy shit. I feel embarrassed for the Pig Sooie Razorback hat. What did it ever do to be subjected to be on this crazy ladies head?

Florida Gator Cheerleaders Not Impressed With Texas A&M

Don't worry Aggie fans. I wasn't impressed with the Florida cheerleaders either. Not only is the talent down with the players in the pads for Will Muschamp's crew but these cheerleaders have to be on the C squad. How does a cheerleader have a gut? She's probably carrying Muschamp's love child who can already run a 4.7 40.

Trent Richardson Blows Up Kurt Coleman

I've been watching this gif of Browns rookie Trent Richardson absolutely destroying the Eagles Kurt Coleman for about 20 minutes this morning. It's beautiful. It's football perfectly captured within 2 seconds. I'm kinda tearing up just looking at it.

Via TheBigLead

Sunday, September 09, 2012


If you watched Missouri first tango in the SEC last night you should be aware they were treated to rude awakening by SacMan Jones. He was told he played old man football before the game. After the final whistle he proved he only plays GROWN MAN FOOTBALL. Now you can get the official #sacmanjones t-shirt to show your support. Comes in regular cotton and performance cool-dri (similar to an Under Armour shirt). Taking pre-orders now. Shipping starts September 12th.

Mike Trout Robs Prince Fielder of a Homerun for Final Out

Just give Mike Trout the MVP, Gold Glove, and Rookie of the Year awards already.

Hit of the Day: Florida Safety Gets Trucked By A&M RB

Vince Vaughn Enjoyed The Notre Dame Win

Not the prettiest of victories but Notre Dame fan Vince Vaughn and the rest of Irish Nation will take it. 2-0. It's all that matters. Bring on Sparty.

Video via

We got confirmation that Vaughn and Owen Wilson were tailgating like a champion yesterday. We wouldn't expect anything less from these wedding crashers. HOT ROUTE!

Saturday, September 08, 2012

College Picks Worth Taking

I started off the weekend with a bang last night as Utah State managed to not only beat the spread of +7.5 but also win against Utah for the first time since 1997. This Saturday we need more money for Kegs N Eggs so these games better hit. In other words don't fuck it up.

Central Florida (+17) at Ohio State
This is a pure gut call right here. Yes the Buckeyes looked great last week with Braxton Miller going ape shit in Urban Meyer's new spread offense. But they beat a Miami team and not the one that plays in South Florida. The Knights whipped another terrible team in Akron 56-14. Central Florida under coach George O'Leary want to prove something and this should be their game. 17 points just seems way too much in a game that should come down to the wire. Take UCF with the points and don't be surprised if they win the game.

Connecticut (+3) vs NC State
NC State shouldn't be favored on the road. UCONN will win this game. Easy money.

East Carolina (+20.5) at South Carolina ECU has won 3 of the last 5 matchups with the Gamecocks. Connor Shaw is doubtful. I smell a close game. I think South Carolina will win but not by more than 3 TDs.

Michigan State (-19) at Central Michigan
There is no good reason why this game should be close. Yes the Chippewas beat Sparty back in 2009 and that will provide more fuel to the fire burning in Mark Dantonio's troops. I think Vegas thinks Sparty is due for a letdown a week before Notre Dame comes to East Lansing but I don't see it. Sparty wins by 4 TDs minimum.

Notre Dame (-14) vs Purdue
Vegas is still seriously underrating ND at this point. Last week they were only 14 point favorites against Navy despite winning by 42 points the year before. They won by 40 and easily covered. This week the Fighting Irish again are only favored by 14 at home despite winning last year by 28 points on the road. Everett Golson will be unleashed.

Wisconsin (-6.5) at Oregon State
I don't get this spread at all. Wisconsin is going to crush them. Take MoneyBall with the points.

Savannah State (+70.5) at FSU
I'm too lazy to look it up but I seriously doubt the Seminoles have scored more than 71 points in a football game too many times. This is the biggest spread in the history of college football and yes I know Okie State won 84-0 last week over Savannah State but I don't see Jimbo Fisher running up the score here. FSU wins by 69.

Friday, September 07, 2012

Doug Randolph Flips From Stanford To Notre Dame, MacKensie Alexander Next To Join

Notre Dame continued it's strong recruiting with today's flip of previously Stanford commit and 4 star linebacker Doug Randolph deciding on the Fighting Irish. He joins a stellar linebacking core of 5 star Jaylon Smith and 4 star Alex Anzalone. The next public commitment will be 5 star cornerback MacKensie Alexander who talks to assistant coach Tony Alford weekly. With the two commitments Notre Dame will move up to the #2 spot behind rival USC.

No official word has been granted if Allen Pinkett thinks any of these players are worthy of being considered criminals.

Orioles Magic Is Back!

With the 10-6 win last night in front of a packed house full of Orange and Black in Camden Yards the Orioles are in a dead heat with the hated New York Yankees. To say this season was unexpected for this Orioles fan would be understatement. I thought they would be awful and predicted them to finish last in the AL East...again.

Luckily the players and manager Buck Showalter could give two shits about my opinion or any others when it came to predictions and have brought back "Oriole Magic."

I got chills last night in the first inning and literally lost my voice screaming when Wieters hit this 3 run pop fly over the left field fence. Oriole Park was again rocking. It's been too long. 15 years to be exact since the Orioles were in contention in September. And now I don't want to wake up.

This has been the dream season. A cast of unheralded castoffs from other clubs and unproven young players have carried them all season to go along with the best bullpen in the majors. Hopefully last night was just a preview of things to come for the Orioles and their home crowds with people coming out in full force to support a team that deserves everything they get.

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Stephon "You Can" Tuitt Has Wheels!

Yeah I know this happened 5 days ago but fuck off. How often do you see a 6'6 300 pound defensive lineman like Stephon Tuitt run 77 yards away from the QB and RB? You wanna talk about fast wheels, Notre Dame's Tuitt has Pirellis. I'm still hoarse from shouting his name at the game and I still have some pee stains from the excitement. Gotta love college football!

John Clayton Unleashes Pony Tail Hell

I fucking knew it! ESPN's John Clayton is a Slayer fan. So obvious.

Via The Big Lead

That Will Leave A Mark: Brandon McCarthy Takes A Line Drive To His Melon

Line drive to the back of the head coming at you at about 110 mph. No big deal. Baseball players are tough. If this was a soccer player they would have already had his eulogy printed out on the mound. A's pitcher Brandon McCarthy will be fine. If he wants to take off the rest of the season he should probably do that considering the A's are tied with my Orioles for the Wild Card. It would be best for his health and my heart.

Via TheBigLead

Good Lord Look At Chad Jones Leg

I guess I should have warned you about some of the pictures of former LSU free safety Chad Jones leg after he got into a severe car accident. Shit looked like an italian sausage bursting out of the casing on a hot grill. Forget about eating lunch today. I think we all got a new athlete to root for this fall to get better and make his dream come true of playing in the NFL.

Andy Roddick Retired And Nobody Gives A Shit So Why Not Look At His Wife

So America's only worthless male tennis player from the past decade retired yesterday after losing in the US Open. Some guy named Andy Roddick. You may have heard of him because he is married to actress/swimsuit model/fledging boner producer Brooklyn Decker. In honor of Roddick's career I felt it necessary to stare at his wife a little longer today. Brooklyn would want that. I smell divorce in 3, 2, 1....

On a side note I watched "Battleship" on my way to Ireland last week. The movie was typical summer garbage with no plot and a bunch of shit blowing up but they could have saved the whole thing with more Liam Neeson kicking ass and more Brooklyn running around in a wet t-shirt. Come on Hollywood. Get your shit together!

Bryce Harper is Heating Up, Crushes Two Long Balls

The Washington Nationals are the best team in baseball. Seriously. Look at their record. 84 wins. 52 losses. And finally their best player is heating up as teenage phenom Bryce Harper went deep twice last night vs the hapless Cubs. His two bombs gave him 17 for the season, moving him past Ken Griffey Jr. and now only trails Mel Ott (18) and Tony Conigliaro (24) for most homers in a single season by a teenager. The Nats don't need Harper to perform Superman feats to make the playoffs but if they are going to win the whole thing this October they expect Harper to be their Babe Ruth.

After watching his two laser beam shots last night it wouldn't surprise me if Harper goes above and beyond and carries the Nats on his back the last month. He's that good and he's not clowning around.

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Tonight's NFL Lock: Giants -4

The Cowgirls are all show and no substance with a drunk of an owner. The Giants are the defending Super Bowl Champions with their whole roster pretty much intact from last season. Jason Pierre-Paul and Justin Tuck will make Tony Romo nervous all night with a relentless pass rush. Eli Manning is a better big game QB than Romo and with the big lights on him tonight expect Peyton's little brother to shine.

Giants cover the -4 by winning 28-17.

Kris Medlen Twitted His Excitement

I got a new favorite pitcher and his name is Kris Medlen. Not only is he undefeated in his last 17 decisions he's started (A Braves record) but the ultimate teammate who has languished in the bullpen after recovering from Tommy John surgery has a great sense of humor. Yes you won NL pitcher of the month but the most important thing is your kid has a "wiener."

By the way it's September 5th, 2012 and the Baltimore Orioles are tied for 1st place with the $200 million New York Yankees. Am I dreaming? Don't answer that because I don't want to wake up.

Trick Shot Monday: Purdue Weekend

Hey lookie lookie suspended tailback Cierre Wood makes an appearance. All kidding aside you can tell this Notre Dame squad gets along pretty good. If they can get this pysched up for trick shot Monday I can only imagine how amped they are going to be this Saturday when they run out of the tunnel at home for the first time against Purdue. Right now Notre Dame is a 14 point favorite at home following an easy cover of 14.5 last week vs Navy. I don't bet on the Irish but if I did I would heavily favor them covering against Purdue. Last year they won by 28 in West Lafayette with a suspect QB. This year they have Everett Golson and a much better squad. You do the math.

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

My New Favorite Beer Commercial

I've never had Carlton Draught but after seeing this epic commercial there is little doubt it will be wetting my palate this week. Plus I've had so many Guinness Draughts the past 5 days in Dublin that my stool looks like that black tar baby shit you get from newborns. The 80's montage music is the tits by the way.