SportsCrack Blog

Monday, April 29, 2013

Frank Caliendo's Mel Kiper Impersonation


Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Best Yu Darvish Gif

Just when you think the hitters have caught up to the pitching Texas Rangers starter Yu Darvish breaks out 5 pitches.  Yu Nasty!

Via BigLeadSports

2013 NFL Mock Draft

This is just for shits and giggles. Plus I wanted to see how my mock NFL Draft would compare to Mel Kiper and Todd McShay when all is said and done tonight.

1. Kansas City - Eric Fisher. Everybody has the Chiefs taking Luke Joeckel so I'm going with a mild upset pick here in Fisher. Both of them graded out the same according to scouts and I've heard head coach Andy Reid wants Fisher more than Joeckel. We will see. 2.

2.  Jacksonville - Luke Joeckel.  The Jags will go with the future left tackle only because KC didn't take him.

3.  Oakland - Sharrif Floyd.  Oakland would love to get their hands on either one of Fisher or Joeckel but since they are gone they go with the defensive tackle from Florida.

4.  Philadelphia - Geno Smith.  The Eagles need a QB in the worst way.  Geno appears to be the best guy in a horrible QB draft class.

5.  Detroit - Lane Johnson.  Gotta protect Matthew Stafford.

6.  Cleveland - Dion Jordan.  Overrated in my opinion he should be a great fit in Cleveland for that god awful franchise.

7.  Arizona - Star Lotulelei.  This is the one guy in this draft who is a can't miss prospect if he stays healthy.  Star is a dominant force and is a great pick for the Cardinals.

8.  Buffalo - Matt Barkley.  Even though I don't think Barkley is a first round talent I can see Buffalo taking him.  Mark Sanchez 2.0.

9.  New York Jets - Ezekiel Ansah.  He had a great Senior Bowl performance and has shot out of nowhere to get drafted top 10.  I'm sure the boo's will be loud and plenty with this pick.

10.  Tennessee - Dee Milliner.  Once considered a top 5 lock Milliner slides down to the Titans because of the 5 surgeries he has already had.  This pick has bust written all over it.

11.  San Diego - Jarvis Jones.  SacMan Jones reminds me a little bit of Shawne Merriman.

12.  Miami - Jonathan Cooper.  The Dolphins need inside blocking help and Cooper seems to be the best available.

13.  New York Jets - Tyler Eifert.  Eifert is the best tight end to enter the draft in a couple of seasons.  The only question is who will be throwing it to him?

14.  Carolina Panthers - Tavon Austin.  Just a gut feeling the Panthers make a risky pick here to get someone for Cam to throw it to.

15.  New Orleans - Barkevious Mingo.  The Saints need a DE for their new 3-4 defense.  The local product should be a fan favorite.

16.  St. Louis - D. J. Fluker.  Gotta protect Sam Bradford.  They could also go Chance Warmack here.

17.  Pittsburgh - Kenny Vaccaro.  Vaccaro will eventually replace the hair guy in the secondary.

18.  Dallas - Chance Warmack.  The Cowboys offensive line is in shambles.

19.  New York Giants - Xavier Rhodes.  The Giants need corners in the worst way.  Rhodes is the best one in this class in my opinion.

20.  Chicago - Alec Ogletree.  Ogletree has many off the field issues but his talent outweighs it.  He should be a great fit in Chicago.

21.  Cincinnati - Eric Reid.  They should take Matt Elam with this pick but from all indications the Bengals staff loves Reid.

22.  St. Louis - Sheldon Richardson.  Big time steal here for the Rams with Richardson who should start right away.

23.  Minnesota - Ryan Nassib.   I know this pick makes little sense but does anybody honestly think Christian Ponder is the answer in Minnesota?  The Vikings go out on a limb again and pick a QB.

24.  Indianapolis - Datone Jones.  The Colts need defensive line help and Jones appears to be the best one left on the board.

25.  Minnesota - Manti Te'o.  Pretty much everybody has the Vikings taking Te'o here and I agree with it.  Te'o will be a great fit in Minnesota with a locker room already filled with Golden Domers.

26.  Green Bay - Tank Carradine.  The Packers need to get younger on the defensive line.  Tank should  work out just fine.

27.  Houston - DeAndre Hopkins.  The Texans should take Robert Woods here but instead go with Hopkins.

28.  Denver - Sylvester Williams.  The best defensive lineman available and the Broncos lost Elvis Dumervil so this kind of makes sense.

29.  New England - Desmond Trufant.  The Patriots are old in the secondary and Trufant should start right away at the very least in nickel coverage.

30.  Atlanta - Jamar Taylor.  If the Falcons don't trade up to get either one of Rhodes or Milliner at CB then they settle for one of either Trufant and Taylor at #30 pick.

31.  San Francisco - Bjoern Werner.  The 49ers add some depth to the defensive line with an underrated beast.

31.  Baltimore - Matt Elam.  The biggest steal of the first round goes to the Ravens with Ed Reed's replacement in Matt Elam.  Elam is a ball hawk who should turn into a star defender for the Super Bowl Champs.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Evan Gattis Mashes Homer In Front of Friends Dressed In White Bear Costumes

The legend continues to grow faster than an El Oso Blanco swing. And now Evan Gattis has his own fan club dressed up in white bear costumes. Viva El Oso Blanco!

Lie Witness News - Coachella 2013

As a noted Notre Dame fan I really have my fingers crossed that Regis and the Philbins will be coming to Atlanta for Music Midtown. This has to happen so I can hang out with my fellow hipsters and talk about stupid shit that nobody cares about.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Nate Gioacchini Destroys Terrorist Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

Yeah I know it's high school wrestling but who gives a shit. It's another dominating American performance vs terrorism. This is just further proof you don't mess with the US of A. Poor little terrorist almost got skunked losing 15-3 to Nate Gioacchini at a Mass high school invitational back in 2009. America! Fuck Yeah!

Monday, April 22, 2013

North Dakota Sports Anchor A.J Clemente Starts Off His Career Right With Some Profanities

Good job kid. There is nothing more satisfying than starting off your broadcasting career in front of say 400-500 live North Dakotans watching with a "FUCKING SHIT!" comment before completely shitting the bed. I feel worse for Van Tieu. She looked like she just walked into her parent's bedroom on a late Saturday night. Pure fright in those little eyes. The good news for A.J Clemente is it can not get any worse. He was suspended for the cursing on his first day of work. All uphill from here buddy. Plus he graduated from West Virginia University and is used to being from the east coast so he has that going for him.

David Ortiz Eloquently Proclaims "This Is Our Fucking City!" To The Fenway Faithful

Words of poet I tell you. Big Papi didn't beat around the bush Saturday afternoon when addressing the Fenway Park crowd after a tumultuous 5 days in Boston. "This Is Our Fucking City!" will go down in history as one of the most iconic sayings in Boston history. And before all you jackwagons start screaming "Big Papi isn't even from America!" it doesn't matter. The guy got his American citizenship along with his steroids right here. God bless him.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Matt Wieters and El Oso Blanco With Game-Winning Home Runs

The Orioles and Rays were all locked up at 6-6 in the bottom of the 10th when Orioles catcher Matt Wieters walked up to the plate with the bases loaded. Orioles Magic would happen on the next pitch...

Meanwhile in Pittsburgh just moments earlier the Braves and Pirates were all tied up in the top of the 8th when former janitor/ski lift operator/El Oso Blanco stepped up in pinch hitting duty to hit the go ahead bomb for the Bravos. This would be Evan Gattis' 5th homer of the season...

Two catchers. Two moments. Two heroes for the respective ball clubs. One a can't miss prospect from Georgia Tech. The other a feel good story about redemption. Gotta love baseball.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Boston Bruins National Anthem Brings Chills

Breaking sports news video. MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL highlights and more.

Now that is how you do a stirring National Anthem. You got to give it to hockey fans. They get into the National Anthem more than any other fans. The passion is insane. I remember going to an Atlanta Thrashers game right after Dan Snyder died in the Dany Heatley car wreck and they were playing "Amazing Grace" with the bagpipes and then they did the National Anthem. It's the only time I've openly cried my ass off at a sporting event. If I was in Boston last night I would have done the same exact thing.

Now if only I could get Braves fans down here to scream "BRAVES" at the end of the national anthem. I've been doing it for over two decades and still people at the Ted look at me like I'm a crazy person.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Alexander Polli Has Huge Balls of Steel

I'm actually shocked his balls could even fit through that hole. Any sense of accomplishment in my life pales in comparison to what this batshit crazy person named Alexander Polli pulled off in this insane stunt. I get weak-kneed just standing on a ten-foot diving board. I'm almost positive Polli parks his balls in the Grand Canyon. Where else could he fit them?

RIP Pat Summerall

I could watch these videos all day. If you grew up in the 80's or played Madden Football back in it's early heyday you knew the voice of the great Pat Summerall. Summerall's voice resonated with NFL Football as much as John Madden did. In fact Summerall and Madden teamed up for 22 seasons on two different networks (CBS and FOX) to form the best TV sports broadcasting team in my opinion. Yesterday Summerall passed away at the age of 82. He will never be forgotten.

RIP Pat Summerall

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Ben Revere With The Early Catch of the Year

Via MLBMemes comes this incredible .gif of Philadelphia Phillies centerfielder Ben Revere diving to rob an extra base hit from the Red's Todd Frazier. Well done sir. He also had the smarts to get up and turn the double play by hitting his cutoff man.

Former NFL Player Joe Andruzzi Helping Boston Marathon Bombing Victims

Honestly I don't know how I would have reacted to the tragedy that unfolded yesterday in Boston if I was there. Some people run away (can't blame them) and some people run back to help. Yesterday former New England Patriot Joe Andruzzi and many other heroes in my book ran towards the bomb victims to help. It gives me a lot of hope in humanity that we are good people as a whole despite all the evil people who want to destroy our lives. Yesterday a nation came together on Patriots Day and showed the world that we will not let a tragedy in Boston destroy our wills.

Comedian/Actor Patton Oswalt summed it up perfectly...

“You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. [...] This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness. But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago. So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, “The good outnumber you, and we always will.”

I've seen some of the gruesome pictures of dead people with limbs missing and I won't dare post them here. I don't even know how I had the stomach to look at them to begin with and it will always bother me that some gutless soul or souls would even think about bombing innocent people. It's disgusting and it will not be tolerated.

Prayers to Boston.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Delivery Prank of the Day

Wow what a bitch move here. Crying like a little girl. Come on man. Where is your dignity? Granted I would have probably shit on myself in the same situation.

Mariners Fan Catches Foul Ball With His Beer and Then Promptly Slams It

This Mariners fan is clearly a SportsCrack fan. Not only does he catch the ball with his $10 draft beer but then chugs it without hesitation in front of thousands of adoring fans. A normal Joe Schmo wouldn't do it. But a SportsCrack fan seizes the opportunity. Drink up sir!

Thursday, April 04, 2013

Evan "El Oso Blanco" Gattis Legend Grows With Debut Homer

Evan Gattis has gone from battling anxiety to substance abuse to working odd jobs as a janitor and ski-lift operator while out of baseball for five years to hitting a home run in his first major league game off a legend in his own Roy Halladay. El Oso Blanco would be the biggest story in baseball and perhaps sports if he played for the New York Yankees or Boston Red Sox. It's just a shame that the major networks outside of Atlanta are ignoring his story.

Gattis aka "El Oso Blanco" (The White Bear nickname he got in the Venezuelan fall league after leading in slugging percentage) is already a mythical figure in the ATL. With his tremendous power and his insistence on not wearing batting gloves he looks like a throwback to the golden era of baseball. Gattis is country strong and make no mistake he belongs in the majors after just two minor league seasons in which he dominated after roaming the Western United States for over 4 years working odd jobs while trying to find some spiritual purpose in his life after quitting baseball during his freshman season at Texas A&M.

He's basically the new Josh Hamilton without all the tattoos. And after hitting a home run while his father was being interviewed live in his first major league game he has become a folk hero. Viva El Oso Blanco!

Buy the official El Oso Blanco shirt here while helping a great cause in the American Cancer Society.

Monday, April 01, 2013

El Oso Blanco Shirts Now Available For Sale

Now available for purchase is the original El Oso Blanco aka "The White Bear" t-shirt only at  These preshrunk 50% cotton/ 50% polyester light blue shirts are soft and lightweight and are perfect for the spring and summer.  As always a portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.