SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, July 31, 2008


According to Jon Heyman of

The Red Sox traded embattled slugger Manny Ramirez to the Dodgers late Thursday afternoon, has learned.

Jason Bay is headed to Boston as part of the deal, has learned. The Pirates will get four minor leaguers in the three-way trade.

The Red Sox went back-and-forth with the Marlins and Dodgers as the 4 p.m. ET deadline approached. Ramirez said earlier today, as first reported by, that he would accept a trade to any team.

The announcement will be made in conjunction with a World Baseball Classic announcement at Dodger Stadium shortly.

The Dodgers just got much, much better with Manny Ramirez in the line up. Manny is a pain in the ass but there is no doubt he is one of the best right handed hitters all-time. The Red Sox get a really good player in Jason Bay and they can now move on and stop talking about Manny. Both the Dodgers and the Red Sox win in this transaction and the Pirates get a bunch of unproven prospects from the Dodgers and Red Sox. Sounds familiar. The prospects according to ESPN are...

Third baseman Andy LaRoche and right-handed pitcher Bryan Morris will go to the Pirates from the Dodgers. Outfielder Brandon Moss and right-handed pitcher Craig Hansen will leave the Red Sox orgianization for Pittsburgh, has learned.

LaRoche could be a hell of a player but the Pirates just drafted Pedro Alvarez who also plays third so one of them will have to switch positions. Morris is a 21 year old lefty who has posted impressive numbers at A ball for the Dodger organization. Moss has some upside as a corner outfielder who could be a lot like a Luke Scott for the Orioles. Hansen is a middle reliever who is cheap and locked up for years and could become the Pirates closer in the near future.

Go to MLBTRADERUMORS for more up to date analysis from Tim Dierkes.

Red Sox fans don't know this yet but I think they will miss Manny being Manny when he isn't in the lineup tearing up the Yankees. Got that? Hola....


46 Penn State players have been charged with crimes with 163 counts against them in the last 6 years and yet JoePa is claiming ESPN is on a "witch hunt."

Hey JoePa, 27 of those players have pleaded guilty to their crimes! ESPN's Outside the Lines has shown your football team has become an embarrassment to the University. It is time for you to step down and at least take some responsibility for what is happening at State Penn. I think it has become clear the only reason why JoePa is still coaching is because he has a personal battle against FSU coach Bobby Bowden for the all-time NCAA football victories by a head coach. Throw your ego out the door JoePa. You don't even know how to use a fucking computer or how to send a text message! The game has passed you by and all you can claim is people are going after you for a "witch hunt" in which your program keeps getting players arrested.

Hell, yesterday you had to dismiss defensive tackles Chris Baker and Phil Taylor. Things aren't getting better. These are not isolated incidents when 46 football players are getting arrested with 17 in the past year alone.

You need to leave. Go away or I will just have to keep selling these very comfortable State Penn shirts that are guaranteed to get you laid where ever you go...


So their badass middle linebacker Rey Maualuga likes to wear thongs in practice when he isn't pile driving tightends into the ground. That doesn't make one person gay now does it?

I have nothing bad to say about Maualuga because a person with his reputation for punching people in the face at parties is not something I aspire to experience in my lifetime. The first picture he must be leaning on some kind of butt dart they use in Trojan practices.

Go on girl..I mean out and proud and make the Trojan community proud!

More pictures are available at Banned in Hollywood.


The above picture from the ESPY's is from the Big Lead and it shows how much love and admiration NBA rookies Greg Oden and Kevin Durant have for Danica Patrick's booty. Oden has that stare like a fat kid eyeing up a Twinkie at Fat Camp. He just wants to tear it up right there. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if has already. Or maybe they are just fantasizing about Danica and Maria Sharapova playing hide the floppies. can only dream.


Video HT: WithLeather

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


And people wonder why soccer hasn't caught the US by storm! I got to admit, not to sound gay or anything, but the one guy with the mustache has a really nice rack. His breasts are like pointy pillows sent down from Marilyn Monroe heaven. I'm going to go now...


Just reported by Buster Olney of ESPN, the New York Yankees have found a replacement for Jorge Posada by acquiring Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez for one of my old Milton high school teammates in Kyle Farnsworth. Pudge is a shell of his former self but the future Hall of Famer is an upgrade over Chad Moeller and Jose Molina and will be a free agent after this season. The Yankees can risk offering Pudge arbitration and he will become a Type A free agent so if another team signs him it gives the Yankees a supplemental first round draft pick. Farnsworth is another overpaid reliever who should be familiar with Detroit since he has played there before and should help their bullpen.

Overall good trade by both teams.


I've been slacking on the college football recruiting front lately so I figured I would give you a little update on the #1 rated prep linebacker in the nation. His name is Jelani Jenkins and he was the Maryland Gatorade Player of the Year last year as a junior out of Wheaton(MD)Our Lady of Good Counsel. He is currently ranked the #1 linebacker by Rivals and the #2 rated WLB by Scout and he is highly coveted by every major football program around the country. He also reportedly carries a 4.0 GPA and is looking for a program with both a high standard for academics as well as on the gridiron.

Jelani and his family have already taken a road trip earlier this summer out West to visit the campuses of Stanford, USC and UCLA and this past week they made another road trip to the Midwest to visit the campuses of Michigan, Michigan State, Notre Dame, and Illinois. Mike Farrell of got a scoop on how the visits went in the Midwest from Jelani's father Maurice...

"Michigan was impressive, we liked the facilties and the academics. They just built a new facility for academic support and Michigan has a good reputation for academics. And on the football side, they showed us Michigan's defense from last year and how Jelani would fit into it. We were really impressed with the strength program and the trainers, that was one of the most impressive things we saw."

And how was Michigan State?

"They are doing a lot of growing," Maurice said. "They are putting a lot of money into the program and making some major renovations so the dedication is there. We met with coach Gill and the defensive coordinator, coach Pat Narduzzi and were very grateful for the time they spent with us."

And after MSU, it was on to Notre Dame.

"The Notre Dame visit went great, it's a beautiful campus, the staff was very hospitable and coach Weis has a great knowledge of the game from his NFL days. We met with Corwin Brown who went through the X's and O's with us and showed us how Jelani would fit in. He'd be a weakside linebacker for them and do a lot of blitzing.

"But we got to see the depth chart, the facilities were nice and of course the academics are excellent there. And they have a great legacy of football."

Jenkins plans to visit Florida, Boston College, and Miami in the near future and reportedly has close ties with Maryland and Penn State in terms of friends and closeness to home so his choices are still wide open with nobody definitively eliminated at this point. A lot of times these kids get a lot of hype coming out of high school and it's not exactly warranted because of either they can't qualify in terms of grades or they have already peaked in terms of performance at the high school level. Neither of these can be said about Jelani and if you have doubts about how good he is then take a look at this film of him running through and over opponents with ease...

Jenkins is the type of player who can step on campus immediately and compete for playing time as a starter so expect his decision to be well calculated in regards to what program offers the best in terms of atmosphere, academics, social life, and of course football. Who ever he chooses will be getting a hell of a football player and an even better student.


In the bottom of the sixth inning last night in Yankees Stadium the Orioles had a massive shift on Jason Giambi, aka Dirk Diggler, in which Orioles 2b Brian Roberts was basically playing shallow right field. The 70's Porn Stache smoked a ball just out of the reach of Roberts and promptly gave him the finger when rounding first base. It was Giambi's way of telling him I don't need your effing shift fellow roid boy!

The Orioles beat the Yankees again 7-6 and the Giambi/Roberts feud was more play than hate as both players laughed it off as they realized they make millions to play a child's game while I sit behind a computer eating Ramen Noodles in my boxers for the umpteenth time. Later in the game some douchebag umpire named Chad Fairchild (more than likely related) ejected Orioles pitcher Daniel Cabrera for hitting Alex Rodriguez which Fairchild must have taken as payback for the Giambi bird.

Come on Fairchild, don't be as drunk and senile as I am. The O's will go for the sweep today right after Fairchild gets done refeering a Turkish wresting match with A-Rod and Madonna. It's true, I read it in the New York Post so it can't be made up! Right guys and gals?

Here is the video footage in case you think the photo is doctored...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

2nd Team CFB Defensive Preseason All-American Team

Greg Middleton, Indiana-Middleton, just a sophomore last season, led the nation in sacks with 16 after recording 6 tackles during his freshman season. The 6'3, 275 pounder was part of a Hoosier's defense that set a school record with 42 sacks in 2007 and he should again be a defensive stopper
in 2008. A first team Big Ten selection last season, Middleton should contend for first team All-American while helping the Hoosiers reach a bowl game.

Greg Hardy, Ole Miss-A first team All-SEC selection last year, Hardy harassed SEC QBs all season while recording 10 sacks. Hardy has future NFL first round draft pick written all over himself with his talent and should again have an excellent season rushing the QB for Ole Miss.

Gerald McCoy, Oklahoma-This prep phenom is living up to his billing coming out of high school as the #1 defensive tackle by earning Big 12 Defensive Freshman of the Year last year. He should team up with fellow tackle DeMarcus Granger to form the best defensive tackle tandem in the college game. McCoy could become the best defensive linemen to ever play for the Sooners with his tremendous power and speed from the interior.

Terrance Taylor, Michigan-The Wolverines know how to produce quality defensive tackles and Taylor is just the latest in a long line. A second team Big Ten selection last year, Taylor started all 13 games and recorded 55 tackles with 8.5 for loss. Honestly he could be the one bright spot on a horrible Michigan team this year.

Rico McCoy, Tennessee-Teamed up with 1st round draft pick Jerod Mayo last year, McCoy demolished the opposition with 106 total tackles while be selected for second team All-SEC. With Mayo gone expect McCoy, a junior, to be a beast and the leading tackler for an underrated Vols squad...

Marcus Freeman, Ohio State-Everybody talks about the Little Animal with good reason but not many people know that Freeman led the Buckeye's linebackers in tackles for loss with 8 and passes broken up with 5 while making 109 tackles, good for second on the team. Freeman earned 2nd Team Big-Ten last year but the senior has a good chance of earning All-American status with another solid season on the National Championship contending Buckeyes.

Jasper Brinkley, South Carolina-Jasper, the more talented of the Brinkley twins, is back after missing the second half of the season with a knee injury. Before he was injured Jasper was straight up murdering the offense after earning first team SEC honors in 2006. I'm banking on him returning healthy this season and proving why he is one of the best middle linebackers in the game. If you are a QB you might want to run out of bounds or take a slide...

Scott McKillop, Pittsburgh-McKillop led the college game last year in tackles per game (12.6) and total tackles (151) while breaking up 7 passes. Despite these incredible stats he only received third team All-American honors. Pitt is being picked as one of the surprise teams out of the Big East this year and if they expect to compete for a bowl game they will need McKillop to again be a terror between the white lines.

Alphonso Smith, Wake Forest-Only 5'9, Smith was a second team All-American selection while breaking up 17 passes and grabbing 8 interceptions. He comes back with a defense that returns 9 of 11 starters and again should be a leading candidate for 1st team selection. The only thing he needs to work on is his dance moves...

Asher Allen, Georgia-One of the most underrated players in the SEC, Asher can fly with his 4.33 speed and cover with the best of them. He had 3 INTs last year while breaking up 5 passes and should turn into a lockdown corner for the Dawgs this season.

Eric Berry, Tennessee-Just a true freshman last season, Berry started all 14 games for the Vols and could easily be the most talented defensive player in the SEC. Berry was all over the field last year playing ball hawk with 5 INTs and 86 tackles. Expect those numbers to increase this season and don't be surprised if Coach Fulmer uses him on offense.

William Moore, Missouri-Moore set a school record last season with 8 INTs. A second team All-American last year, expect Moore to again be a leader for a defense that returns 8 starters and should be good enough to get Mizzou to a BCS game which they should have earned last season.

Coming Wednesday: 2nd Team Preseason Defensive All-American Team

Sunday, July 27, 2008


"The Hebrew Hammer" is one of the leading candidates for the National League MVP and a main reason why the Milwaukee Brewers are a serious contender for a World Series title for the first time since 1982. The Hebrew Hammer has brought back memories of those 1982 days when Paul Moliter and Robin Yount led the Brew Crew to their one and only World Series appearance in those sweet light blue uniforms. Now you can show your support for The Hebrew Hammer by buying your very own shirt which has a distressed design on the front and back to give it a vintage feel and look.

As always a portion of our sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

You can purchase the shirt at THE HEBREW HAMMER SHIRT at our STORE PAGE.

I think Randy Johnson would love a shirt since The Hebrew Hammer pretty much owns his ass...

Friday, July 25, 2008


When you go 3-9 it has a tendency to do strange things to your psyche. Don't get me wrong, I actually kind of like the Masked Avenger. Sure he is sort of embarrassing but at least he doesn't wear jorts like Florida fans or doesn't have a clue who their coach is like USC fans. And as far as I know he doesn't smell like vomit and whiskey like the Volunteers faithful and he can read and write unlike Michigan football players who major in General Studies. But the question remains as to who exactly is the Masked Avenger?

Nobody took the 3-9 season harder than Charlie Weis did last year. His whole image and reputation has dramatically changed of one of whom was an offensive genius who helped lead ND to back-to-back BCS games to a proclaimed idiot by myself after he decided not to kick the winning field goal against Navy. And yes Charlie, I'm still bitter you didn't kick the damn field goal. So I think we have to come to the conclusion that the Masked Avenger is none other than Weis himself. Both are rather boisterous large men. Both have hairy pancakes for nipples. Both are die hard Irish fans that won't put up with excuses.

No wonder Charlie can recruit so well. All he has to do is put on the mask and Johnny Football is instantly in a trance with the Irish and the wonderful climate of Northern Indiana. It makes sense and yet none of it does after losing 9 games. I got your back Masked Avenger, you crazy diamond.


At least the fans didn't seem to egg it on! Now that is a full out brawl. The Dayton Dragons and Peoria Chiefs obviously don't enjoy each other after this massive fight broke out last night in the 1st inning of a minor league game which resulted in 17 ejections, one fan hospitalized and one player being arrested...

After a Peoria player was hit in the top of the first, Castillo hit two batters in the bottom half -- one in the head. The second hit batsmen by Castillo, Angel Cabrerra, made an aggressive slide into second to break up a double play. Castillo followed that by throwing his next pitch up-and-in to the next Dayton batter, prompting Dayton manager Donnie Scott to complain to the home plate umpire. Interim Peoria manager Carmelo Martinez -- filling in for Ryne Sanberg -- came onto the field to join the discussion.

The two managers began arguing, and when Martinez pushed Scott, the benches emptied.

Dayton shortstop Zack Cozart had to leave the game after being hit in the head with a pitch and Peoria second baseman Gian Guzman went out with a broken left leg, the Dayton Daily News reported.

The player arrested was Peoria pitcher Julio Castillo who threw an errant throw towards the Dayton dugout and instead struck a fan who had to be sent to the hospital. Castillo was charged with felony assault and will more than likely serve some time in jail since the whole nation has now witnessed the incident. I would love to see how his lawyer tries to get him off on a technicality of being a douchebag. There is a douchebag technicality right? I believe O.J. used that as his defense.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Football season is just around the corner and what better way to prepare for the Notre Dame football season then by ordering one of these authentic Wilson Game Model footballs that the team actually uses on Game Day.

These authentic footballs retail for as much as $199.99 on Steiner Sports but we are offering them for the super low price of $110. I only have a few in stock so get them fast before they are gone.

You can purchase them by visiting our STORE PAGE.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno stop spreading their seed in random Athens girls and start kicking ass on the gridiron.

Okay, maybe not stop spreading their bodily fluids but you get my point. Will college football just get here already?


Sorry about the total lack of posts lately. I've been trying to write stuff while on the road constantly the last 2 to 3 weeks but my mind has been wandering. I have made east coast to west coast to east coast to west coast and now back to Atlanta with a trip to Philadelphia in between. I still have no idea what time zone I am in and my daily dump schedule has been thrown way out of whack. Last night I finally managed to see "The Dark Knight" and was more than pleased to say it is the best film I have seen in a while and by far the best Batman movie. A lot of the credit goes to Heath Ledger's Joker in the press clippings which is deservedly so but Aaron Eckhart was also brilliant as Harvey Dent, aka Two Face. Both deserve a shot at an Oscar in my opinion. Most films don't live up to huge expectations especially summer blockbusters but "The Dark Knight" delivered from start to finish and you really owe it to yourself to see it on the big screen. Trust me, I have a nice size television with HD and all that crap and it will never match up to the movie theater experience.

Oh yeah, the above clip is from WithLeather of some Colombian bullfight. Looks like fun doesn't it? And in case you were wondering which I'm sure you were not I was out in California working a tennis tournament at Stanford University. Talk about a beautiful campus and weather there is little wonder why it costs so damn much to get in there. I managed to run into Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps (taller than I envisioned) and Stanford football coach Jim Harbaugh (gave him a friendly thank you for beating USC and losing to Notre Dame) on campus and also got to see Serena Williams play tennis on a bum leg. So that was my brush with famous people in the matter of a couple of weeks. All of them seem like really good people so I don't have any bad stories to tell. I know, I'm sorry. Rob from and I saw some Stanford football players get free tickets to the WTA tennis event which is probably some sort of NCAA infraction but honestly I could care less because they don't play for the Trojans. If you are ever in the Palo Alto area I highly recommend going to Old Pro Sports Bar in the downtown district. They have a mechanical bull which is endless hours of entertainment upon itself with all the Stanford co-eds enjoying themselves and tons of flat screens with vintage sports team banners and Sports Illustrated covers all around. Good atmosphere, decent food and a friendly staff make it worthwhile.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Chase Utley is the man. I managed to catch my first Phillies game at Citizen Bank Park on Sunday due to the huge clusterfuck of delays at Philly International that gave me and the old lady some extra time to explore the athletic side of Brotherly Love. Somehow we managed to get into the game despite it being sold out thanks to a really cool ticket usher. The place was packed and filled with cheesesteak eating loud mouths everywhere. It was great. Great to see the passion of a fanbase who actually care about the game unlike a lot of the fair weather Atlanta fans I see in Turner Field everyday. Anyways, I bought a Phillies baby blue jersey shirt with the "Utley 26" on the back because I love the way Utley plays the game. I can respect him.

After hearing him say "Boo, Fuck You" to the fans at Yankee Stadium I am now completely and Utterly in love with Chase. He had me at "Boo."

By the way, Philly was a blast. I was up there for my buddy Tobin's wedding and got to catch up with a lot of old college buddies. Nothing has changed with a lot of those guys and I love it. We killed cases of Bud Light and Yuengling, reminisced, and busted each other's balls all night. I didn't realize how much I missed all those guys and now I hope to hang out with them some more in the near future. I may not be a Philly guy but I do love all my Philly boys.

Peace out mofos.


28 Homeruns in the first round is an absolute ridiculous number. It's great to see a recovering addict like Hamilton beat the odds with his comeback of redemption but my hope was one of those balls he hit last night would hit Chris Berman in the back, back, back, of his damn throat and forever destroy his ability to talk and bang random hookers.

Next time Josh will do it all for us and not just himself. Don't be a prick Josh, do it!

Some Canadian named Dr. Morneau won the event but Hamilton delivered the show. The All Star game is tonight and I must admit I think the National League is going to win it. Hanley Ramirez, Chase Utley, Lance Berkman, Albert Pujols, and Chipper Jones are their first 5 batters! I'm envisioning Cliff Lee having one of those nightmare 6 runs given up in the first inning realities tonight.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


It's great to see Matthew going for some more diverse roles that test his acting range. My "mind is fucking blown" by that slow talking Texan.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008


Monday, July 07, 2008


I watched this defenseless fight Saturday night on Showtime and came to the conclusion that Torres stands for glass jaw. Holt gets knocked down 16 seconds into the fight, then goes down a 2nd time seconds later and yet somehow knocks the living crap out of Torres less than a minute into the bout. Amazing. It actually reminds me of my bachelor days living it up in Buckhead when you would see two drunks get into a fight outside a bar or club. Of course there were no handcuffs or barflys involved in the Torres-Holt fight. Sad.


Now that the Brewers have traded 4 prospects for C.C. Sabathia, the reigning AL Cy Young winner, it should start a domino effect around the majors in terms of player movements. It should be interesting to see how the Cubs and Cardinals, both teams ahead of the Brewers in the NL Central, react once Sabathia pitches for the Brewers. Orioles 2nd Baseman Brian Roberts is still available for trade bait and would seem like a perfect fit for the leadoff spot and 2b duties for both teams. But would the Cubs and/or Cards be willing to trade their top notch prospects to land an All-Star like Roberts? I wouldn't count on it.

Landing Sabathia gives the Brewers a good chance of finally making the playoffs at the very least as a Wild Card contender. The National League is awful this year so it's not like it takes a lot of maneuvering to make yourself an instant contender. The Brewers are basically trading hot hitting prospect Matt LaPorta who was essentially blocked by young All-Star's Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun from having a starting spot on the Brewers squad in the foreseable future. The Brewers now have the combo of Ben Sheets (if he survives a full season, an iffy possibility) and Sabathia which could put them on par with what the Diamondbacks rode to World Series glory with Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling in terms of front end rotation. We know the Brewers have the hitting with Braun, Fielder, Corey Hart, and J.J. Hardy just to name a few all capable of carrying the offense.

But do the Brewers have the bullpen? Nope. So look for the Brew Crew to make another trade for a reliever, possibly Huston Street or George Sherrill, to shore up the bullpen to make a serious run at ending their 26 year playoff drought.

The Cardinals and Cubs are now both on the clock to counter the Brewers move. It should get interesting...


See how I played with A-Rod stupid nickname and made it sound like he was an adulterer? I know it's gay but so are you for reading this crap. The Smoking Gun has the complete divorce filing and it should be interesting to see how the "antenuptial agreement" is played out in court since apparently there wasn't a prenup in Cynthia's mind. I do find it hilarious she is pointing out his extra marital affairs as the reason why the marriage is "irretrievably broken" and can't be resolved. Listen lady, you married one of the richest athletes in the world who happens to be good looking dude (yes, I can admit his frosted hair gives me the tingles) who spends half the year on the road as a baseball player. What the hell did you expect? All ballplayers cheat on their wives. It's a fact.

My wife even laughed it off last night when she heard the news on the ESPN telecast. She said something to this effect: "What did she expect from marrying him!" Exactly.

Cynthia couldn't have believed he was going to remain faithful when he spends most of his time on the road in a pinstriped uniform which is guaranteed to make women melt in between their thighs 99% of the time. Granted I hope she takes him to the cleaners because it's A-Rod but I don't feel any sympathy towards her.

She knew the game. She knows A-Rod loves muscular blond female types almost as much as he loves his vision of himself. She knew that Madonna would eventually be fisting A-Rod with strap-ons in New York while she was working on her tan in Florida.

I really hate talking about athlete's relationships with their wives but this gave me a good reason to put "fisting" and "strap-on" in an article so I feel like we all win.


Okay, I admit that I watched the mens, or shall I say gentlemens, Wimbledon final yesterday and was enthralled with it enough to keep flipping back to it once the Orioles game started. Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are both champions and played an unbelievable final in what should help tennis popularity in Europe. Remember that Federer and Nadal never come to the States except for the US Open and the Key Biscayne tournament so there is little reason to get excited for tennis unless those guys are in your tournament for the non-tennis lovers. But as much as I enjoyed watching the Wimbledon finals yesterday I quickly forgot how much more I enjoy watching the women's side of the game because of pictures like these of Ana Ivanovic from the UK's version of FHM...

I'm a little disappointed she didn't show some more skin but you can view the whole photo gallery at FanIQ.

Friday, July 04, 2008


America...fuck yeah!!!

Thursday, July 03, 2008


My first reaction to seeing this picture of Barry Bond's infamous 756* ball was simply AWESOME. This is how the ball will look at the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown after fashion big wig Marc Ecko left his permanent stamp on it after he won it at an auction. The ball will go to the Hall but likely Bonds won't as he told Cooperstown he would picket them if they kept the ball the way it is shown above.

Fine. Fuck him if he wants to act all high and mighty. Personally I don't think he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame because of the shame he has helped brought upon the game. And don't give me the argument that everybody was doing it or he never got caught with the stuff. Bonds is a disgrace and the ball represents his legacy he left on the game.

I would love to donate this shirt to Cooperstown as I think it would look great right next to the ball...

756* shirt available here for purchase.


AwfulAnnouncing brought this video of ESPN's Skip Bayless to my attention and I'm amazed the guy actually agrees with what I said yesterday in regards to Joe Buck. I've always thought of Bayless as some sort of clown with a mild case of retardation but now it has become perfectly clear for all these years: I am mildly retarded too. What am I to do with this life I once knew before I realized Bayless the clown and I actually share something in common? I'm completely shocked in regards to Bayless actually making sense of something involving sports.

Just a warning, if you see a balding 29 year old wandering the street while sobbing and talking to himself don't just presume he is some poor retard with a severe case of jerkoff syndrome. That could be me people. Help a brother out.


Thank you Puck Daddy for revealing these wonderful pictures of Paulina Gretzky, the daughter of Wayne and Janet Gretzky. Apparently Paulina is a singer who had one of her songs played on one of those dumbass MTV shows. I can't recall the name because there are so many. She even has her own MySpace page so if you want to bring out your inner Allison Stokke fetish and stalk a 19 year old then go right ahead. Hell, we already sent out a friend request so who are we to judge. I say kudos to the Great One for having Great Offspring. It's just a matter of time before this girl of privilege from Hollywood is flashing the goods for the paparazzi and we, a nation, will watch with love and admiration as her career spirals to eventually land in amateur porn.

One can only dream.


I have watched a lot of baseball over the years and I think I can honestly say I have never seen a player foul a baseball straight to his face. I had no idea it was even possible. Wills Park legend Michael Barrett defied physics and took what appears to be a 100 mph plus Bud Selig signature special straight to the nose. Despite how awful this looks I would rather take a broken nose than a Mariano Rivera fastball to the nuts or a fractured testicle any day of the week. It is this reason why I dated only normal size people. You piss off a little person, or dwarf as they like to be called, and the only place they can hit you is straight in your junk.

Video HT: WithLeather via The Fightins

Wednesday, July 02, 2008


Video HT: Deadspin

The above radio clip is from ESPN radio show The Herd with the not impressed Joe Buck in regards to baseball and sports in general. Before I go off on Buck I must admit he does have some valid points in regards to the national past time. Yes, baseball is boring and takes up a lot of time if you are not interested in the sport. I don't expect everybody to enjoy watching the game of baseball just like I don't expect everybody to love it as much as I do in regards to say the movie "Braveheart."

Everyone is different and entitled to their own opinions. But the problem I have with Buck making these statements is the same I would have if Mel Gibson came out and said he doesn't watch "Braveheart" and thought it was kind of boring. Buck, whether he likes it or not, is suppose to be one of the voices of baseball. If he doesn't enjoy it then FOX should do the right thing and fire his ass.

Listen, I can't stand Dick Vitale sometimes because of his over exuberance and his shouting while he tries to give Coach K a mouthjob. But I do respect the guy because he seems to genuinely love the game of college basketball. Vitale is a great voice for college basketball and does a tremendous job of promoting it. It seems that Joe Buck is the exact opposite and has been handed this unbelievable dream job from his father, the late great St. Louis Cardinal's announcer Jack, and doesn't appreciate it. Literally the guy has been given a silver spoon his entire life with access to a game many of us can only dream about and yet he would rather shit on it as opposed to eating it up. Are we suppose to feel sorry for Buck that he would rather watch "The Bachelorette" than have to endure watching a complete baseball game?

I say fuck him. If he doesn't enjoy watching baseball or any other sport for that matter then don't expect to be earning future checks while you put us through another boring telecast. Buck has and always will be a wet noodle. The guy who was apparently horribly offended by Randy Moss showboating in Green Bay also is a "disgusting act" when it comes to baseball announcing. The guy can literally put me to sleep with his monotone voice. He brings back memories of 9th grade history class. My hope is one day Buck wakes up and realizes how good of a life he has and then just walks away and becomes history.

Go watch your Bachelorette you fucking toolbag!

By the way, DeAnna is so picking Jesse it's not even fair for her to lead on Jason like she is.

Oh my gawd people, I am getting so wet thinking of Sportscrack!


Listen, we are only half way through the season and already Boston Red Sox fans are freaking out about losing to the Tampa Bay Rays. There are still 80 plus games to go people. Stop being so fucking pathetic up there and learn to control your anger. Once David Ortiz starts juicing again and comes off the disabled list then your team will again be the dominating bitch they should be. Look, I hate the Red Sox as much as anybody could but even I see the daylight. There is absolutely no way this Red Sox team is missing the playoffs and more than likely they will win their division over the Rays. So put down your Dunkin Donut, take a deep breath, and take your finger out of your ass. Remember people I have money on the Red Sox winning the whole thing this year so if anybody should be freaking out it should be me. But I am cool and collective.

And remember to always drink a beer and love it. Don't throw it or spit it out or get mad at it. Beer is our lover and not our enemy. Okay, I will stop now.


Okay, it's not hockey but it looks like one of the Molina brothers is practicing to play goalie against this Mariano Rivera fastball to the gonads...

It would appear the NHL and offspring are now out of the question for Molina. I feel for him. See, I play baseball and I refuse to wear a cup because I have been told I have really big balls. Seriously, my priest told me. Trying to wear a cup and running around feels like someone is putting my man pieces in a stranglehold, twisting them till they feel like they are going to pop. So one day I get hit on a wicked grounder that just nicked the nut. One of those where you don't think it hit you till about ten seconds later and your stomach aches and you start spitting uncontrollably. The point of the story is always wear a cup when you visit a Costa Rican brothel. Those broads are into nut shots.

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

2ND Team CFB Offense Preseason All-American Team

Chase Daniel, Missouri-Last year Daniel was the Big 12 Offensive Player of the Year and finished 4th in the Heisman Trophy voting. He set Missouri records in passing(4306 yards), total offense(4559 yards), and TD passes(33 TD) while completing an incredible 68.2% of his passes. Chase should be one of the main frontrunners for the Heisman and POY awards and he has a good chance of leading Mizzou to a BCS game which they deservedly should have last year. With weapons like WR Jeremy Maclin and TE Chase Coffman at his disposal don't expect any let up in Daniel's numbers in 2008. He also is a booger connoisseur...

LeSean McCoy, Pittsburgh-McCoy excelled in his first season of D1 football at Pitt last year running for 1328 yards while scoring 14 TDs on the ground. He also managed to be a receiving threat out of the backfield catching 33 passes while racking up nearly 250 yards and another TD. McCoy's yards rushing were a Big East freshman record and Pitt is known to use him at QB in what is called the Wildcat Package. If Pitt wants to get to a bowl this year under 4th year head coach Dave Wannstedt they need to let McCoy touch the ball at least 20 times a game to have a chance. With another great season under his wing don't be surprised to see McCoy jump to the top of NFL runningbacks for the 2009 Draft. Here is a comparison video to Pitt great Tony Dorsett...

DeMarco Murray, Oklahoma-The redshirt freshman was on pace for nearly 1300 yards rushing when he injured himself recovering an onside kick against Texas Tech. Not surprisingly the Oklahoma offense was never the same without him. Murray managed to rush for 13 TDs out of the backfield while averaging 6 yards a carry. A threat to score whenever he gets his hands on the ball, Murray also 2 kickoff returns for TDs and showed he could be an explosive back who could fill in for the departed great Adrian Peterson. Murray should have a tremendous season as Oklahoma returns all of their linemen including two who are All-Americans and a QB and TE who are top 10 in their respective positions. If Oklahoma hopes on getting back to a BCS Title game they will need Murray healthy the whole season.

Brannan Southerland, Georgia-To measure a fullback's importance to a team you can not just look at his statistics. You have to look at his whole game and how important he is to a QB and his tailback's numbers. Southerland is one of the most underrated FBs in the game and without him Georgia would struggle in their running game and protecting Matthew Stafford from the blitz. Southerland provides great lead blocks for RB Knowshon Moreno and should be a part of one of the best backfields in Georgia history with redshirt freshman Caleb King expected to make a push like Special K did last year for significant playing time along with true freshmen Richard Samuel and Carlton Thomas. If the Bulldogs hope to contend for a SEC Title and/or National Title Southerland will be an important piece to the puzzle. He also loves to destroy gnats...

Arrelious Benn, Illinois-Benn is a man among boys. Last year as a true freshman he played with an injured shoulder throughout the season and helped the Fightin Illini reach the Rose Bowl. Expected to be healthy this summer, Benn could put up monster numbers if he had a decent quarterback throwing him the ball. Reminiscent of Calvin Johnson when he had to catch ducks from Reggie Ball, Benn's talent supersedes the actual skill on the whole Illini offensive roster. I'm not trying to dog the Illini but Benn is just that good. If QB Juice Williams is smart which I believe he is he will throw to Benn at least 12 times a game. Good things will happen with the ball in Benn's hands and it will dictate how well the season goes in how many touches they can get Rejus. The kid is simply the definition of playmaker.

Darrius Heyward-Bey, Maryland-When I think of explosive receivers one of the first names that pops in my head is Darrius. Don't agree, well take a look at how he runs right by Miami defenders on a long TD pass...

Heyward-Bey is often double and triple teamed so his stats are not overly impressive as they should be but make no mistake the kid is a star. He still managed to have nearly 800 yards receiving last year and I expect those numbers to be even better this season.

Aaron Kelly, Clemson-The 6'5 senior was a first team All-ACC WR last year while setting a school record with 11 TD catches and leading the ACC with 1081 yards receiving. Kelly should be QB Cullen Harper's main target when it comes to red zone passing and with an offense that includes RB James Davis and CJ Spiller the Clemson Tigers should score a ton of points this year.

Chase Coffman, Missouri-A 1st team Big 12 selection despite splitting catches with TE teammate Martin Rucker last year, expect Coffman to put up huge numbers this season in Columbia. The 6'6 senior will be an important piece to a Mizzou offense which should be able to stretch the field with playmakers such as Coffman and WR Jeremy Maclin.

Alex Mack, California-A 1st team PAC-10 selection in 2006 and 2007, Mack turned down the NFL for a chance to lose to USC again. Seriously, he did. Mack leads an experienced Cal line which has allowed only 24 sacks the last two years combined and helped little guy Justin Forsett look like a big guy. This year he will be lead blocking for sophomore Jahvid Best who could be compared to a Cheetah with his track star speed. I think it's only fair for Best to follow the Mack Truck. See, I can play with words too.

Greg Isdaner, West Virginia-All 5 West Virginia linemen return and Isdaner is one of the best. At 6'4, 315 pounds the guy can punish defensive linemen and open up holes for QB Pat White and RB Noel Devine. He was a 1st team Big East selection last season and should contend for 1st team All-American honors this year.

Steve Rehring, Ohio State-Rehring is part of the Big Ten's best offensive line this season and also one of it's biggest. At 6'7, 335 pounds it would seem almost impossible for anybody to see over the mighty giant but he should be pancake blocking holes open for RB Beanie Wells all season. Expect plenty of gay Buckeye stickers on his helmet for ball fondling while masturbating in public libraries. Sorry, inside joke. Look up Carl Monday and Ohio State sweatshirt to get the joke.

Alex Boone, Ohio State- This so called beer-guzzling bear of a man returns to Columbus to live up to his hype out of high school. The kid isn't soft but needs to show more of a mean side when it comes to blocking. He has the body and the skill to do so and his fat ass should provide plenty of blocks all season.

Eugene Monroe, Virginia-I just put him here because I like his name. It just kind of rolls off the tongue. No, but seriously, he is good and will be a 1st round draft pick next year. Mark it down.