SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, September 26, 2013

2013 Notre Dame Shamrock Series HydroFX Mini Helmets Have Shipped!

The Notre Dame 2013 Shamrock Series mini helmets made by Hydrofx started shipping yesterday.  We got about 35 left in stock if you are still interested.  Order today.  These were limited edition mini helmets and once they sell out they are gone forever.

Ships immediately!

Carlos Gomez and Brian McCann Start Benches Clearing Hissy Fit

This is the one thing I never understand about baseball "fights."  If you are going to get in somebody's face at least have the balls to throw a punch.  I'm not faulting Braves catcher Brian McCann entirely for this but you can see him talking to Brewers outfielder Carlos Gomez as he steps in to the batter's box.  This is usually never a good thing unless you are friends.  These guys clearly are not.  So I think, granted I don't know for sure, that McCann was chirping in Gomez ear about something.  Then Braves pitcher Paul Maholm who has some history with Gomez (gave up a HR and hit him twice before in the back before this at-bat) throws an absolute meat pitch.  Immediately Gomez does his slow home run trot.

And this is what pisses me off about "unwritten baseball rules."  I am a Braves fan I personally have no problem with home run trots.  Playing the game my whole life I know how hard it is to hit one out.  If you don't want the other team doing trots well then don't throw meat letter high over the middle of the plate.

Now of course Gomez is at fault here too.  He could have been the bigger man and let his bat do the talking instead of his mouth.  He immediately started yelling at McCann, Maholm and then first basemen Freddie Freeman while rounding the bases.  It's a punk move on his part no doubt.  But let's don't act like the Braves are not complicit here.

Which brings me back to McCann.  Why are you blocking home plate?  I get it.  You are pissed off at Gomez for running his mouth after hitting a bomb but why are you not being the bigger man and letting it go?  Playoffs start next week.  The Braves don't need you suspended or hurt during a fight.  And you guys are fighting for home field advantage which is way more important than any yelling match with some player on a shitty team.  Freeman, the MVP of the team, gets ejected and the Braves go on to get shutout and are now behind the Cardinals for home field.

That is the punk move.  The Braves need to be focusing on the bigger picture here.  Gomez and his home run trot don't mean shit.  Home field and having everyone in your lineup healthy ready for the playoffs means a lot.  So I'm faulting McCann here even though I love him.  He might have cost the Braves not only home field (Braves have the best record at home, mediocre on the road) but some momentum going into the playoffs.  Because in the long run all the showmanship of a trot doesn't mean shit unless you win.  And Gomez and the Brewers won while getting under the Braves skin.

In conclusion: focus on the bigger goal Braves.  I don't want to hear any excuses come playoff time.  Last year it was the "one game playoff" and "infield fly" that wasn't fair.  I don't want to hear it anymore.  It's bullshit.  I also don't want to hear about the umpires.  It's bullshit.  Go out and win.  That should be the main and only focus.  And for the love of God ignore assholes like Gomez.  We don't need any "fights" or ejections going into the playoffs.

Go Bravos!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

UCLA Linebacker Anthony Barr Nearly Killed This Poor New Mexico State QB

Is Anthony Barr a top 10 pick in the NFL Draft?  He has to be.  This kid is 6'4, 255 lbs and absolutely destroys quarterbacks.  Remember Matt Barkley last year?  Without Barr's knockout hit there is a good chance Notre Dame doesn't beat USC to get to the National Title.  Of course Barr is a Notre Dame legacy (Dad is Tony Brooks and Uncle is Reggie Brooks) who never made it to South Bend.  It would have been sick to see him in the real Blue and Gold on the edge with Notre Dame last season.  By the way there was nothing illegal about his hit here.  Just a clean shit-knocking-football hit.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Atlanta Braves Baselines Parody Music Video Features Cameo by Javy Lopez

Um I'm almost 100% positive the original video by Robin Thicke had topless chicks dancing around.  This video is very suspect without it.  Seeing former Braves great Javy Lopez in it doesn't quite make up for the lack of boobs.

The one featured Braves girl though definitely has a bright future.  She even looks a little bit like model Emily Ratajkowski.

Put some more hugs in the video and it's tolerable.  Barely.


Monday, September 23, 2013

Oakland A's Beer Swigging Baby All The Rage Right Now

This baby knows how to party!  While others were shitting in their pants, sucking their thumbs, and looking gross this baby stepped up his game for the Oakland A's AL West Division Champs celebration.  This baby can play on my team any day.

Top 10 College Football Teams and Heisman Contenders

Last Saturday was by far the worst college football weekend in terms of match ups and upsets.  No upsets.  No good games.  But luckily for us it will be the only weekend since the games get much more tougher as the season goes on and conference battles start.

Here are my top 10 teams.  These are how I would rank them in terms of overall performance and the strength of schedule they have faced.

1. Oregon 
2. Alabama
3. LSU
4. Stanford
5. Clemson
6. Baylor
8. Washington
9. Texas A&M
10. Georgia
I got Oregon over Bama because the Tide despite the strong win in College Station have looked rather miserable in wins over Va Tech and Colorado State.  I know it goes against my premise of you can't drop the #1 team until someone knocks them down but they just aren't the same Bama from last year.  Oregon on the other hand is playing way better than I expected after Chip Kelly left for the NFL.  I thought they would take a step back but they haven't skipped a beat.  Similar to what Stanford went through in their head coaching transition a couple of seasons back.  LSU might be the best team in the country.  Unfortunately they also have the toughest schedule.  They have to go to Athens this week and still have games against Bama, Johnny Football, and Ole Miss.  Don't laugh but Baylor could be the Oregon from 3 years ago who played Auburn for the Natty.  Their offense is ridiculous (over 60 points 3 games in a row) and Art Briles can coach with the best of them.  I think right now they are clearly the best team in the Big 12 over Oklahoma and Okie State.

Now I know SEC people will want to rip my throat out for this but look at my top 10 and think for a second (maybe two if that is possible) about the PAC 12 as a legit power football conference.  Oregon and Stanford have already proven they are top 10 programs with big BCS Bowl wins in recent years.  But UCLA and Washington are coming on strong too.   I wouldn't take them over Bama and LSU but I could see them beating UGA and the Aggies on a neutral field.

1.  Johnny Manziel - He's the best player in the nation.
2.  Marcus Mariota - He only gets to play a half of football but when he does it's flawless.
3.  Jameis Winston - Jameis Christ is already a God in Tallahassee.
4.  Todd Gurley - Still the best RB in the nation but Baylor's Seastrunk is coming on strong.
5.  Tajh Boyd - He looked rather pedestrian vs NC State on Thursday.  One more bad game and he's out.

Braves Clinch NL East Title

It's hard to believe it's been since 2005 since the Atlanta Braves won the NL East.  The streak ended  yesterday in Chicago with a shower of champagne and Bud Light in the visitor's clubhouse. Congratulations go out to general manager Frank Wren for constructing a club that is solid from 1-to-25 and could sustain multiple major injuries (Huddy, Venters, O'Flaherty, Heyward, McCann, etc.) and player slumps (BJ and Uggla) and really not skip a beat all season. Also big props go out to manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's kept a loose clubhouse all season and you can see in the players that they love playing for him.

 I love seeing the Falcon's game in the clubhouse when they are celebrating.

 Now go out and win the homefield this last week. If the Braves are going to make it back to the World Series for the first time in over a decade they have to clinch it over St. Louis and the Dodgers. Currently they are up 1.5 games on the Cards for it. The Braves have the majors best record at home.  When they are away from the Ted they are only a .500 team.  Winning homefield at the Ted is imperative for a successful postseason.

With just a week left and if Heyward can come back completely healthy this would be my lineup for the playoffs.

1. Heyward - CF
2. Justin Upton - RF
3. Freeman - 1B
4. Chris Johnson - 3B
5. McCann - C
6. Gattis - LF
7. Simmons - SS
8. Elliott Johnson - 2B
9. Pitcher

I'm going with a 3-man rotation of:
1. Medlen
2. Teheran
3. Minor

Put Alex Wood and Paul Maholm as the long relievers if needed. No way either one of them should start a playoff game in my opinion. Roll with the 3 Aces and go from there.

Also get Jordan Schafer in there starting if Gattis is scuffling because his defense and speed are the best on the team in the outfield.  But there is no way you can start either one of BJ Upton or Dan Uggla.  They don't deserve to start and I don't care how much money they make.  It's playoff time.  You start your best players who have performed.

Now go out and win a World Series!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Famous Jameis Shirts Now Available!

Order the original Famous Jameis Shirt here! Available in adult sizes Small-3XL. Hanes tagless 50/50 shirt. Soft feel.

10% of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Exclusive Breaking Video of Nebraska Head Coach Bo Pelini's Profane Rant

Seems legit. I don't know what Nebraska can do other than axe the coach. I mean it's as clear as day here that Bo Pelini hates all things Nebraska. He probably doesn't even eat corn or buy products with corn in it.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

El Oso Blanco With The Dick Shot Homer

Or was it the balls?  Either way that guy got fucking nailed in his junk by an El Oso Blanco blast in Miami last night.  I'd say there is a pretty good chance he has baseball stitches on his shit for days after taking a monster shot from the legend of Evan Gattis.

SportsCrack Week 3 Top 10 Teams and Heisman Contenders

1.  Alabama - Bama conveniently had the week off to prepare for Johnny Football and the Aggies.  What they didn't have time to prepare for is the shitstorm about to hit with players getting paid by agents.  Trouble in Tuscaloosa?  Yup.

2.  Clemson - The Tigers were in cruise control last week vs South Carolina State and get this week off before traveling to NC State for a huge Thursday night game.

3.  Oregon - The Ducks could make a solid case for being the most impressive team so far this season.  They are averaging over 60 points a game and this week they get the Vols who should get crushed.

4.  Stanford - Beat a good San Jose St team.  They travel across the country to get Army this week before a big home game vs Arizona St next week.

5.  LSU - Mettenberger has been lights out so far.  If the Bayou Bengals can keep up their scoring pace they could be playing for #1 in two weeks vs Georgia.

6.  Ohio State - I moved the Buckeyes up a lot because I was impressed how easily they dominated San Diego St despite losing Braxton Miller to an injury.  They get Cal this week in Berkeley.

7.  FSU - Didn't play.

8.  Louisville - Teddy Bridgewater was his normal Superman self with a convincing win against East Kentucky.  This week they get a SEC team...Kentucky.  Whoopity fucking do.

9.  Texas A&M - Their defense looks like shit but they got Johnny Football so who cares.  They got a big game this week vs some team called Bama.  Win and they will get #1 votes.

10.  Michigan - Devin Gardner played great Under The Lights and the Wolverines held off a tough Notre Dame team.  They don't play anybody before traveling to Happy Valley in mid October.

Top 5 Heisman Front Runners
My top 5 hasn't changed one bit since last week.  Not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

1.  Jameis Winston, FSU - He should be able to pad his stats vs Nevada this week and Bethune-Cookman next week.

2.  Tajh Boyd, Clemson - If Clemson goes undefeated Boyd will win the Heisman.

3.  Marcus Mariota, Oregon - He absolutely shredded Virginia.

4.  Teddy Bridgewater, Louisville - He can make all the throws and this week he goes against a "SEC defense."

5.  Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M; Todd Gurley, Georgia - All of these top 6 guys are basically interchangeable at this point.  If Manziel beats Bama again then he's #1 on the list.  If Gurley continues to put up monster numbers vs good teams he will get an invite to NYC.

Monday, September 09, 2013

Braxton Miller Nearly Decapitated, Urban Meyer thinks he can play this week

Urban Meyer has gone on record saying junior quarterback Braxton Miller could play this week vs Cal.  Umm are you fucking serious coach?  Did you not see your QB nearly get his head taken off?  Apparently they are claiming Miller didn't suffer a concussion of any kind but instead has a sprained MCL in his left knee vs San Diego State.  The Buckeyes and more importantly Meyer need to do the right thing and let Miller rest this week vs Cal.  Backup quarterback Kenny Guiton played great on Saturday and the Buckeyes didn't miss a beat.  But more important is Miller's long term health.  Don't be a dick Urban.  Rest the kid.

UGA Finally Beat South Carolina But This Fan Has No Memory Of It

Some people just can't handle Athens.  While South Carolina was trying their Cockiness to stop Aaron Murray and the Dawgs from running up and down the field in Sanford this UGA fan flat out tailgated way too hard.  Luckily for him a Georgia Trooper was there to help him home.  And by home I mean beat the shit out of him, throw him in jail, and charge him with assault and disorderly conduct.

Jason Witten Sums Up My Football Weekend

Saturday was rough enough watching Notre Dame lose yet again in the Big House (I genuinely hate that fucking place) and then Sunday got jealous of Saturday so I got the pleasure of watching the Atlanta Falcons lose yet again in New Orleans.  The football gods were not kind.  But at least it's still early on in the season and both teams can regroup and refocus on winning out.  Chances of that happening are less than 1% but a boy* can dream right?

*=delusional gambling alcoholic with a football problem.

Thursday, September 05, 2013

Brady Hoke Thinks Notre Dame Is Chicken

First thing that comes to Michigan head coach Brady Hoke when asked about Notre Dame is chicken.  I'm just as shocked as you.  I would have thought donut or pizza.

Rate This Hakuna Machado Video

I give it a 5.  The song is catchy but how do you have a video about rising superstar Manny Machado and not include Orioles legends Brooks Robinson and Cal Ripken?  Put those two icons in there and it's an easy 10.

Johnny Football Caught Signing Autographs During the Game

If you look a little closer Johnny Manziel is up to his old shenanigans again.  Signing autographs in the middle of a play!  That game used touchdown ball personally autographed by Manziel is worth thousands and hopefully poor little Johnny can get his compensation.

Pay that man his money!

Via CampusUnion

South Carolina Fan Has Some UGA Fighting Words

"Mark Richt... good Christian fellow... you can talk to Jesus and all that and it's cool but you are about to get FUCKED UP!" - South Carolina poet Steve Davisor

Eastbound and Down Trailer for Season 4

Kenny Powers is back for the final season of EastBound and Down on HBO.  Brings a tear to my eye. We have seen Kenny grow from a petulant self-entitled asshole to be a more petulant self-entitled asshole.  It's been a beautiful process.  The final season kicks off September 29th which leaves me in a huge predicament.  The day before I will be up at Notre Dame watching the Fighting Irish kick the living shit out of Choke-la-homa and then on the night Kenny Powers brings his fastball back I will be in the Georgia Dome watching the Dirty Birds put 50 up on the Patriots.  I will be so burned out on ass-kicking football that I can't give Powers my full attention till Monday.  This probably means I need to turn in my Kenny Powers Superfan card.*

* = case of Natty Light

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

SportsCrack Week 2 Top 10 Teams and Heisman Contenders

Every week this season I will be releasing the SportsCrack top 10 teams along with our Heisman Trophy front runners.  Be sure to add how much you agree with me in the comments.

1.  Alabama - Yes I know they got out gained and pushed around at times by an average Hokies team but they are still the two-time returning National Champs.

2.  South Carolina - They looked awesome even with Clowney shitting the bed in the opener vs North Carolina.  Huge game this week vs Georgia in Athens.

3.  Clemson - The Tigers beat a very good Georgia team.  With Tajh Boyd they can beat anybody.

4.  Oregon - The stat sheet they put up vs Nicholls State is ludicrous.

5.  Stanford - They didn't play.  Too busy watching Revenge of the Nerds.

6.  LSU - I will be the first to admit I wasn't sure if Les Miles and the gang had it in them to beat TCU.
They did impressively.

7.  Notre Dame - Put the cruise control on after scoring early vs Temple.  Brian Kelly has no idea what Michigan football is.  Awesome.

8.  FSU - Jameis Winston put on a show Monday night.  With him at QB the Noles can compete with anybody.  Yes even SEC teams.

9.  Louisville - I don't see anybody on their schedule that can beat them.  Granted they don't play anybody.

10.  Ohio State - Their defense still looks very suspect.  Luckily for Urban none of his players were named suspects by the Columbus PD.  Not this week at least.

Top 5 Heisman Front Runners

1.  Jameis Winston, FSU - Nobody was more impressive this weekend.  25-for-27 with 5 TDs overall.  Flat out stud.

2.  Tajh Boyd, Clemson - Made every big play vs Georgia in an "upset" win.

3.  Marcus Mariota, Oregon - Deadly for Scoregon again.

4.  Teddy Bridgewater, Louisville - If I had the 1st pick in the NFL Draft I'm taking Bridgewater over Clowney.

5.  Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M; Todd Gurley, Georgia - I couldn't pick one over the other.  Gurley is the best back in the nation.  No question about that.  Manziel is of course the reigning Heisman winner.

Famous Jameis Winston Exceeds Lofty Expectations

All spring and summer I've been hearing constant talk from FSU fans about how "Godly" redshirt freshman QB Jameis Winston was playing in practice.  Winston was in their eyes the next Charlie Ward yet better.  Granted I've heard some of the same stories about EJ Manuel and Chris Rix so I tempered my expectations.  Last night not only did Winston meet those expectations he speared them to the ground.

"Famous Jameis" completed 25-of-27 passes for 4 touchdowns and also ran for another vs Pitt in a primetime Monday night game on ESPN.  Winston literally looked like he was playing 7-on-7 with the precision and accuracy he was putting on his passes to his receivers.  Winston was simply unstoppable. He did look like Ward but better.  The FSU fans were right for once.  And it wasn't like he shredded some awful defense.  Pitt was a top 20 overall defense last season who returned 8 starters.

Jameis Winston is the real deal.  He looked like a senior last night.  Is he the Heisman frontrunner?  I wouldn't go that far but with Winston at QB I think this is the first legit Seminoles team to compete for a Natty in over a decade.  Winston is that great.

Mark your calendar for October 19th.  FSU travels to Clemson in a game that could essentially be an elimination game to get into the BCS Title game.  With Clemson's impressive win over Georgia it looks like they can compete for a title.  Granted we are still 6 weeks away from FSU vs Clemson but it looks like it will be an epic matchup that could not only determine who plays for the ACC Championship but also who is the Heisman frontrunner and who still has a shot at winning it all.

Sunday, September 01, 2013

Touchdown Reesus ... Reesus Saves Shirts For Sale

Another exclusive design shirt: Touchdown Reesus

Front says "Touchdown Reesus"

Back of the shirt says "Reesus Saves"


Portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

Available in both irish green and navy.