SportsCrack Blog

Friday, April 29, 2011

First Round Thoughts

1. Cam Newton (Carolina Panthers)-You gotta hand it to the Panthers. They went against logic and drafted the next Jamarcus Russell. He may not be the smartest cookie or have the best accuracy but he can jump real high and is as big as a defensive lineman. Sounds like the perfect NFL quarterback.

2. Von Miller (Denver Broncos)-Clearly the best linebacker in the draft. I probably would have taken Marcell Dareus here but you really can't argue taking Miller. Some draft experts have compared him to Derrick Thomas. I don't think he will be that good but I could see him turning into a Terrell Suggs-type of pass rusher.

3. Marcell Dareus (Buffalo Bills)-Good solid pick for the Bills. Dareus is a guy who can plug the middle and free up the Buffalo linebackers to make plays.

4. A.J. Green (Cincy Bengals)-Green is one of the few guys in this draft that I think is going to be a perennial All-Pro. Clearly the best receiver to come out since Larry Fitzgerald Green will make an instant impact in Cincy. But who will be throwing him the ball?

5. Patrick Peterson (Arizona Cardinals)-Besides Green I thought Peterson heading into the draft was one of only three sure fire safe bets to be an instant impact type of player in the NFL. I was hoping the Falcons could trade up to get him. Fuck.

6. Julio Jones (Atlanta Falcons)-I absolutely hate this move by the Falcons. They traded 5 draft picks (2 1st Rounders, a 2nd, and 2 4th's) for a receiver who at his very best if he fulfills his potential the Falcons already have in Roddy White. Don't get me wrong I like Julio's athleticism and the fact he plays hard. But I hate his hands. GM Thomas Dimitroff swung for the fences with this risky trade and pick. I'm afraid they got another J.J. Stokes.

7. Aldon Smith (San Fran 49ers)-This draft was loaded with quality defensive ends and somehow, some way the first one to come off the board in Mizzou's Aldon Smith. It's kind of amazing how much talent on the defensive side of the ball Mizzou has supplied to the NFL in the past 3 seasons and yet Mizzou defenses are shit.

8. Jake Locker (Tennessee Titans)-So the Titans get rid of Vince Young and draft a less athletic, less accurate, and less passionate player in Locker. Brilliant. Locker was a 2nd to a 4th round talent taken at #8 overall. The Titans are idiots.

9. Tyron Smith (Dallas Cowboys)-The Cowboys need help on the offensive line and Smith should start right away. Only 20 years old Smith should grow into a solid tackle for Dallas.

10. Blaine Gabbert (Jacksonville Jaguars)-I actually think Gabbert will wind up being the best of the 4 QB's taken in the 1st. But it's really not saying much since I don't think very highly of the other 3. Plus Jacksonville gave up a 2nd rounder to move up to get Gabbert. Pretty risky but what the fuck do I know?

11. J.J. Watt (Houston Texans)-I like Ryan Kerrigan better but I can't argue too much with the Watt pick. He should be a force on the edge with Mario Williams on the other side.

12. Christian Ponder (Minnesota Vikings)-Another first round pick I don't get at all. Ponder has skills but he couldn't even win at FSU with a shitload of talent around him.

13. Nick Fairley (Detroit Lions)-How can you not love this pick? Fairley and the great Suh next to each other causing havoc. The Lions got extremely lucky to get Fairley at this spot and Detroit fans should hope he carries a chip on his shoulder for dropping this low for a talent like himself.

14. Robert Quinn (St. Louis)-He's a big risk for the Rams here but he is also a big reward. Probably could have been a top 5 pick if he played last season at Chapel Hill, Quinn should make an instant impact for the Ram's defense.

15. Mike Pouncey (Miami Dolphins)-I was kind of disappointed we didn't get the classic trailer incest shot from last year when his twin brother Maurkice got picked by the Steelers. I would have taken Mark Ingram here.

16. Ryan Kerrigan (Washington Redskins)-Gotta hand it to the Skins. They traded down, picked up a couple of more picks, and got a great player with a high motor in Kerrigan. I think Kerrigan will be a star in Washington.

17. Nate Solder (New England Patriots)-Kind of a dumb pick for the Patriots. Solder is a project and not the type of guy you pay huge bucks in signing bonus for someone who is going to take some time to learn the tackle position.

18. Corey Liuget (San Diego Chargers)-I was a big fan of Liuget at Illinois and he should fit in perfectly for the Chargers. Liuget has a couple of future Pro Bowl seasons in him.

19. Prince Amukamara (New York Giants)-Not nearly the talent of a Patrick Peterson and it's actually refreshing to see him drop this far. His technique isn't very good and he gets beat tremendously deep in college. In other words I think he will be a prime target for the boo birds in New York.

20. Adrian Clayborn (Tampa Bay Bucs)-Clayborn was a great college player for Iowa but I'm not sure it will translate to the NFL. He's easy to root for though with his high motor but I got to admit I'm shocked they didn't take Da'Quan Bowers here.

21. Phillip Taylor (Cleveland Browns)-Taylor looks like a good nose tackle on film and he definitely has the body to play right away. It's kind of interesting that the Browns traded up after trading down with the Falcons to grab Taylor. There must be something in him that I don't see.

22. Anthony Castonzo (Indy Colts)-Future right tackle for the aging Peyton Manning.

23. Danny Watkins (Philly Eagles)-27 year old rookie. Wow. Huge reach for the Eagles here.

24. Cam Jordan (New Orleans Saints)-The Saints got a very good defensive end in Jordan who should start right away. Sleeper pick for defensive rookie of the year honors.

25. James Carpenter (Seattle Seahawks)-The Seahawks and Pete Carroll needed a run blocking tackle and probably got the best one left on the board in Carpenter.

26. Jonathan Baldwin (Kansas City Chiefs)-Matt Cassel has plenty of weapons. Baldwin should team up with Dwayne Bowe to form a lethal receiving combo.

27. Jimmy Smith (Baltimore Ravens)-Should fit in perfectly in the Raven's locker room. Smith reminds me a lot of former Raven Chris McAllister which is obviously a good thing. I'm looking forward to seeing his future one-on-one duels with A.J. Green.

28. Mark Ingram (New Orleans Saints)-Good bye Reggie Bush. Ingram still has his Heisman and now takes over for Bush in the Big Easy. I can't argue with this pick. Ingram should be a good in between the tackles running back. Better yet the Saints drafted a great person in Ingram.

29. Gabe Carimi (Chicago Bears)-I don't like his name. I like his game though. Good pick by the Bears.

30. Muhammad Wilkerson (New York Jets)-This Muslim will probably turn into an All-Pro for Rex Ryan. Seriously.

31. Cam Heyward (Pittsburgh Steelers)-Interesting pick for the Steelers. Heyward is good but I would have much rather had Da'Quan Bowers or Justin Houston. Heyward should fit in well for Pittsburgh at DE/OLB.

32. Derek Sherrod (Green Bay Packers)-The Super Bowl Champs get their future right tackle to protect Aaron Rodgers. I can't argue with Ted Thompson on this pick since Sherrod is the last quality tackle in this draft who was graded as a first round talent.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Boston Fans are very hospitable to the Canadians

Why no free health care jokes? What about their beady eyes? Come on Bahston. You can do better.

Inspirational words from Kenny Powers

“Some people say Kenny Powers is a woman-hater. That's not true; I love women - every f**kin' one of 'em. Even the ugly-as-sh*t ones. But don't ask me to trust 'em, even nuns, because every pair of tits comes with a gaping hole of need that even Kenny Powers can't fill.” – Kenny Powers

Gary Neal doesn't need no stinkin' replay

San Antonio Spurs reserve Gary Neal came up huge last night with the game and the series on the line with this huge 3 pointer to tie the game and send it to overtime. The Spurs went on to win the game and extend the series to a Game 6. I missed this game because I was too busy taking a shit. Seriously. Tornados are scary and the safest place is your bathroom from what I have heard.

Tuscaloosa Tornado barely avoids Bryant-Denny Stadium

Tuscaloosa Tornado (4/26/2011)

While we were bunkered out in our neighbor's basement yesterday the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, AL took a direct hit from a major tornado. Luckily the ghost of Bear Bryant wouldn't let mother nature destroy Alabama's football stadium. Bryant-Denny Stadium was spared but a ton of others weren't so lucky. If you would like to help the Red Cross in response to the devastating tornados that swept through the Southeast yesterday by donations go to this link.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Atlanta IHOP's are good for fisticuffs

I think it's pretty obvious what happened here. The girl in handcuffs wanted her Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity with scrambled eggs and instead was given over easy. I've been there. It's infuriating. The cop then came over and said IHOP was all out of scrambled and all hell broke loose. The point is you don't ever mess with a drunk girl and her scrambled eggs. The officer had every right to punch her out once she threw the first punch. Live by the fist die by the fist is what I say. I'm sure they had plenty of scrambled eggs in the big house. Also kudos goes out to the cop for the arrest. He could have easily ripped her clothes off just to make sure she wasn't armed and dangerous. It's better not to do it in public and instead wait to get her in the cop car. It's Officer 101.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Say it isn't so: Zibby fails drug test at boxing match

Just off a bone crushing knockout to improve his record to 4-0 in the professional ranks of boxing the last thing I expected to hear with former Notre Dame All-American safety Tommy Zbikowski is "failed drug test." Apparently the Chickasaw Nation Boxing Commission found enough evidence after his fight on Saturday night to suspend him for 45 days.

But did Zibby really do anything wrong?

His boxing coach, Mike Joyce, told the Chicago Sun-Times they planned to appeal the test result, which they believed was in error.

"After the fight, all the fighters tested were positive," Joyce told the paper. "They had you pee in a cup and put a strip of something in there. I've never seen results where you get them the day of the fight. It was like a home pregnancy test or something."

With the NFL lockout still in full force and a scheduled June 4th fight at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on the horizon a 45 day suspension could hurt Zibby's pockets big time. It sounds pretty fishy if all the boxers tested positive. On a positive note if Janoris Jenkins is looking for a new dealer he knows where to go.

Gators dismiss Janoris Jenkins from program

First year head coach Will Muschamp made his first extremely difficult decision today when he announced star cornerback Janoris Jenkins will no longer be a part of the Gators program following his third arrest for marijuana possession. has the details...

Jenkins was dismissed from the team during a meeting Tuesday morning with first-year Gators head coach Will Muschamp. Jenkins could face more legal issues following his latest arrest early Saturday morning in Gainesville.

“After meeting with Janoris Jenkins today, we both felt it was in his best interest to move ahead to the next stage of his career,'' Muschamp said.

Losing Jenkins is a pretty big blow for the Gators defense. Projected by many draft experts to be a 1st round talent this past season, Jenkins surprised a lot of people when he decided to return to Gainesville for his senior season. With his dismissal from the program the first-team All-SEC pick from last season will look to enter the supplemental draft. It's almost impossible to replace lockdown corners and Jenkins shoes will have to be filled with either senior Moses Jenkins or sophomores Jeremy Brown and Cody Riggs.

We reached out to Janoris Jenkins to get his response. He was a little preoccupied.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Michael Irvin is still on the coke, delivering rah rah speeches to Miami football players

Cocaine is a hell of a drug. It can cause the stimulation of the central nervous system to which affects the brain's processing of dopamine, a brain chemical associated with pleasure and movement. There has been nothing pleasurable in regards to Da U the past decade. Even with Michael Irvin delivering coke-raged speeches to scared shitless teenagers whom have little idea how to win. It isn't going to change the fact that Miami football sucks right now. New head coach Al Golden could get the team turned around. But it's going to take a lot of booger sugar.


If you watched the Spring Game you saw the unveiling of "The Beast" as he completely dominated the line of scrimmage. The true freshman is looking to make an early impact this fall and will no doubt go "Beast." In honor of college football's best incoming freshman we decided to make a shirt and get it "The Beast."

We are taking preorders now with shirts shipping on April 27th 2011. Order yours today! We got a limited number of shirts and once they are sold out they are gone for good. As always a portion of all t-shirts sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Life as a Cub's Fan

Even the fans can't win in Wrigleyville. You might as well just stamp 1908 on that girl's head.

Video via TheBigLead

Friday, April 22, 2011


ESPN'S Jon Gruden has a feeling about Washington's Jake Locker. He never tells you what the feeling is because he is trying to be nice to the kid. Let's be honest here. Locker was an average college quarterback. He never took that step forward that so many experts projected after his freshman season. But the crazy thing is despite his shaky at best accuracy and his questionable decision making at a position where one play can lose you a game the fact that Locker has good measurables in arm strength, speed, and size he could be a 1st round draft pick.

I don't claim to be an expert when it comes to scouting quarterbacks. But I know when I see a special player. And Locker isn't that guy. BOOM!

Get it away from me: Tony La Russa's Face

The red hot Cardinals have a new good luck charm and it's not Albert Pujols' bat. Manager Tony La Russa has got one of the worst cases of pink eye I have ever seen. It's like he got shitfaced and decided to fall down the stairs...again. He says pinkeye but I say one too many glasses of Merlot.

"I'm not in a lot of pain," said La Russa yesterday. "It just scares kids. Like bad makeup in a horror movie."

Get your shit together Tony!

Image via RiverFrontTimes

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Auburn has a new sponsorship with Geico

You may have seen Cam Newton in New York City recently with the NFL Draft just a week away. Apparently Cam was lucky enough to catch CashCab. Some guys just have all the luck.

Buck Showalter says WTF during Glee inspired National Anthem

Thank you Buck Showalter. Thank you. The Baltimore Orioles manager mouthed "what the fuck" last night when some Glee club completely butchered the National Anthem in Camden Yards. Words can not describe how much I hate it when singers try to mess with the song and make it their "own."

Baseball Slide of the Year

This happened in a Tupelo, MS high school baseball game a couple of days ago and I know I'm a little late to the punch here but fucking shit I want this kid on my baseball team. I don't even think the great Ichiro could pull something like that off.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Great illustration and case closed

Now that is some hands on reporting. You gotta get dirty sometimes and make the news especially in Kansas City.

HT to Dave.


Be safe out there and please, for the love of God, don't take what this poor schmuck took. Those were the good old days when your dogs would turn into panthers and goats would talk to you. You don't need it anymore. You got debt and a mortgage to pay. Joy.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Mike Leake's American Rag Shoplifting Ad has the most excellent American Rag ad endorsed by Cincinnati Red's pitcher Mike Leake. As you may have heard Leake got caught shoplifting 6 American Rag shirts worth a total of $60 yesterday. Yep. A guy who makes $450k a year is stealing fucking $10 shirts. What an asshole!

Aroldis Chapman hit 106 last night

I know the Reds probably know what they are doing but how in the holy fuck is Aroldis Chapman a middle reliever when he hits 106 on the gun? And people wonder why Dusty Baker doesn't have a World Series ring yet. Yeah, you heard right. 1...0...6!!!! He threw it to Andrew McCutchen last night and I don't even think God saw it. I would post a video of it but since MLB doesn't want to promote their sport I will just direct you to their site.

In the meantime go ahead and buy one of our Cuban Missile shirts.

Monopoly -Official Trailer

I smell summer blockbuster. Fuck Captain America and The Hangover 2. Monopoly will send those bitches straight to jail. Monopoly is going to straight up crush the box office this summer. I'm pretty much positive Christopher Nolan stole the musical score from Monopoly and somehow put it in Inception. I'm also sure that Tequila tastes best before noon Monday through Friday. These are things you learn when you type in your PJs at 3 in the afternoon.

Brian Wilson and Cody Ross rocking it out with a mini me Matt Cain with claw hands

Giants closer Brian Wilson is quickly becoming one of my favorite players in the league. I mean shit the guy rocks a terrorist beard and still gets mad pussy. How is that even possible? If I have two day stubble I'm basically shut off like it's Fort Knox down there. If I wasn't a die hard Braves or Orioles fan I could definitely see myself rooting for the Giants. I mean shit they wear the same colors as the Orioles. They play in one of my favorite cities to visit and their ballpark rivals Camden Yards. And they also got Lincecum who the Orioles somehow dumbfucked their way into not drafting him and instead took fucking Billy Rowell. I don't know what the purpose of this video is but it's crazy how the pitchers mound can make Matt Cain look so much bigger. It's little wonder (pun intended) he can mow down hitters with those fucking claws for hands. By the way where the hell is Lincecum? He probably was too busy chowing down some In-N Out after smoking some medicinal.

Video via BarStoolSports

Mets Commercial - Tickets Still Available!!!

Thanks to George Lee for posting this vintage New York Mets commercial. I'm probably the last person who should make fun of the Metropolitans since my Orioles and Braves have contracted bat aids. Yeah it's horrible. Nobody can hit worth a shit and like Magic Johnson only money, a whole lot it, can make it bat aids go away.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Does Serena have college eligibility?

Because I know of a few programs that could use the help at the fullback position. If she packs on about another 20 then we are looking at a future noseguard.

Picture via TheBigLead

Notre Dame picked up a 5 star commitment in Ronald Darby

Notre Dame picked up some huge commitments this past weekend led by athlete Ronald Darby out of Maryland.

Darby will be a cornerback for the Fighting Irish and return kicks. He was electronically timed at the Under Armour All-American Combine in Orlando, FL in the 40-yard dash and ran an astonishing 4.31. He is one of if not the fastest sprinter in the country. He has multiple time trials on the track that timed out the fastest in the nation. He will be the fastest recruit at Notre Dame since Allen Rossum was playing corner in the mid 90's.

I know a lot of fans want to see him at tailback and for good reason with his ridiculous speed. But Darby likes to play defense and with Notre Dame losing Gary Gray, Robert Blanton, and Harrison Smith out of the secondary in 2012 Darby will get immediate playing time. He told he loves to play defense.

"I really like defense best and special teams," Darby previously told "I like to be the one to deliver the hit."

With Tee Shepard and Darby in the fold Notre Dame has two of the elite cornerbacks in the nation. Geno Smith out of Atlanta is another elite corner that Notre Dame hopes to get on campus in the summer or fall. With the Irish losing most of their secondary to the NFL in 2012 all of these kids will have a chance to contribute immediately and Notre Dame can obviously sell playing time to them.

The Irish also picked up Michael Cera's doppelganger in Nicky Baratti out of Texas. Baratti will play safety in college and his high school film brings back memories of another former Irish safety in Tommy Zbikowski. Like Zibby Baratti plays quarterback in high school and is extremely fast and physical.

WTF was Verlander doing here?

I've seen a lot of things in baseball but this is a first. Detroit Tigers starter Justin Verlander steps off the rubber and then fires it home. Just a complete brain fart with Verlander.

UGA Football Recruits Arrested for Locker Room Thefts

Well it looks like Georgia is off to a great start in recruiting with the news of recruits being arrested for stealing shit from some of the current player's lockers this past week.

Deion Bonner, Marquise Hawkins and an unidentified juvenile from Columbus were arrested by UGA police and charged with theft by taking over the weekend. They’re accused of stealing iPods and iPhones from the unsecured lockers of seven football players on April 7 during an open-house event at Butts-Mehre Heritage Hall. The estimated value of the stolen items was $1,330.

Bonner was charged with one count of theft by taking, Hawkins was charged with two counts of theft by taking and the unidentified juvenile with three counts of theft by taking, according to Williamson. Bonner and Hawkins were booked at Athens-Clarke County jail a little after 9 a.m. Monday morning and have $1,500 bonds posted on each count. The crimes are considered misdemeanors.

Bonner, a 5-11, 185-pound defensive back from Carver-Columbus, is considered one of the top prospects in the state for the Class of 2012 and was included among the AJC’s “Tentative Top 10″ prospects for next season. The AJC has learned that Hawkins is not a college football prospect. Marquise Hawkins is the twin brother of Carver-Columbus quarterback Marqui Hawkins, who is a 2013 recruiting prospect, according to Carver coach Dell McGee.

Carver High School is where top incoming recruit Isaiah Crowell, a tailback, is from and I'm sure you can only imagine the collective shit in their pants UGA Nation had when they first heard some high school recruits from that particular school were involved. PLEASE DON'T BE CROWELL PLEASE HOLY FUCK DON'T BE CROWELL FOR FUCK'S SAKE DON'T BE CROWELL!!!!!!!!!

So it's safe to say with the thefts that Mark Richt and his staff will no longer be recruiting Bonner or Hawkins. If anything they would fit in perfectly at Tennessee. Get on it Derek Dooley

Friday, April 15, 2011

Kevin Na with a 16 on a Par 4

Kevin Na posted an ungodly 16 on a par 4 hole yesterday at the Valero Texas Open. Holy shit I didn't even think that was possible. I'm not the best golfer by any means but I don't think I've ever scribbled a 16 on my scorecard. In fact I'm positive. I mean what do you do if you are Na at this point? You are now famous for being shitty. Do you go all Tiger and get hookers and blow and call it a bad day? I have no idea. I don't shoot 16's on par 4's. Now par 5's are a completely different story.

Video via BigLeadSports

Coco Crisp bringing back the retro afro

100% natural people. Oakland A's center fielder Coco Crisp unveiled his mighty afro last night against Detroit. It looked great with the old school uniforms that the A's wore back in the 70's. Unfortunately for Crisp the power of the fro didn't work last night as the A's lost in a shutout and Crisp went 0 for 4. But I like the Oscar Gamble look. It's like two black cotton balls sprouting out of his ears.

You know what I hope is next for Crisp in the hairstyle department? The George Bell soul glo. Bring that shit back!

Atlanta Falcons select Kyle Rudolph with 1st pick?

We are 13 days away from the start of the NFL Draft and the AJC's D. Orlando Ledbetter has the Atlanta Falcons doing the unthinkable: drafting a Notre Dame player. The Falcons have a need at tight end with the once great Tony Gonzalez closing in on retirement but would they really draft Kyle Rudolph with the #27 overall pick? Ledbetter thinks so...

Tony Gonzalez is not going to play forever.

This offseason he let the team know that he plans to return for the final year of his contract.

Later, he stated that if there is a long lockout that he’ll probably hang up his cleats.

Either way, the Falcons have to do something. They have to plan for the future. They have to get a tight end on board and they’ve been heavily scouting the position this offseason.

With the 27th pick, the Falcons will have a chance to address their needs at defensive end, tight end, cornerback and wide receiver.

But when Miami cornerback Brandon Harris is selected 26th by Baltimore, the Falcons will shift over to offense.

They could go with Ohio State defensive end Cameron Heyward or Georgia defensive end Justin Houston. But they know Miami defensive end Allen Bailey will still be available when they pick in the second around.

However, it’s highly unlikely that they’ll pick a wide receiver in the first round because there will be talented receivers in the second, third and fourth rounds. East Carolina wide receiver Dwayne Harris could be the team’s third round target.

Under this scenario, the Falcons will pull Notre Dame tight end Kyle Rudolph’s name off their draft board in the first round.

Rudolph, who’s 6-foot-6 1/8 and 259 pounds, is widely considered the top tight end in the draft.

It's a good argument and trust me I would love to have Rudolph on the Falcons. The guy has crazy measurables and would be a red zone nightmare for opponents. But I also think the Falcons have bigger needs with the #1 pick.


The Falcons need playmakers on the defensive side of the ball and most importantly guys who can get to the quarterback. If I were the Falcons I would be looking to draft either Martrez Wilson from Illinois or Georgia's Justin Houston. Both are fast and extremely athletic who are also a little too big to stay at linebacker. Either one I think could be an outstanding OLB/DE in the 3-4 defense for the Falcons.

Rudolph is clearly the #1 tight end in this weak draft. His height and hands are excellent for a tight end and he would definitely be a favorite target of Matt Ryan. But I don't see him as a first round talent after his slow times at his Pro Day in South Bend (4.78 and 4.82). Plus he has injury issues and missed time in all 3 seasons at Notre Dame with the most significant one coming this past with a torn hamstring. I would much rather see the Falcons take the "safe pick" of Houston or Wilson and then hope Rudolph can be had in the 2nd round. Rudolph could be the next Greg Olsen/Rob Gronkowski but the injury history would scare me away from taking him in the 1st.

Who would you take if you were the Falcons?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Baltimore Orioles "Black and Orange" Video

No Buck references is kind of disappointing. The Orioles are still tied for the AL East lead with the New York Yankees but they are going to need some help with the starting pitching. You pretty much know what you are going to get out of Jeremy Guthrie and Brian Matusz. They are going to shell out a solid 6-7 innings a piece when Matusz comes back from the DL. What you don't know is just how well rookie phenom Zach Britton is going to pitch once teams have scouting reports on him. He could pitch like Jaime Garcia did last season or he could struggle. It's too early to tell. What we do know is that Jake Arrieta and Chris Tillman are barely holding on to starter spots if they continue to struggle with location and velocity. Both got rocked in their last starts (albeit against good hitting teams in the Rangers and Yankees) but if they can't keep the ball down and be more consistent from start-to-start there is little reason for me to believe they last in the rotation. The Orioles will only go as far as their starting rotation takes them. All the guys are young and still have a ton of potential. But do you really want to rely on young, unproven starters who are inconsistent in the rough and tough AL East? I didn't think so. President of baseball operations Andy MacPhail needs to be looking for at least one starter who some team is looking to dump for salary purposes. Or he could just sign C.C. Sabathia this offseason when he opts out of his contract. Both scenarios are not likely.

Arizona State's Sparky giving the old shocker salute

Sparky, the Arizona State mascot, giving the old shocker salute on a basketball ticket. Wow. Apparently it's some kind of tradition to give the shocker sign at Arizona State. With the coeds I've seen there I can understand the need for the shocker.

Image via SportsByBrooks

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Kobe Bryant calls a referee a "Fuk-in F@g"

Well at least he didn't rape him. Right guys?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Don't Drink and Dive

I had no idea you could be knocked out by water. I guess you learn something new every day.

Drunk girl + water= knock out

Tom Brady cried when he found out Pia was eliminated from American Idol

It's okay Tom Brady. Pia Toscano will land back on her feet. She's too talented and good looking to let one little elimination on national television bring her down. We will get through this Brady. Now hold me. No. Down there.

Brilliant video via

Charlie Weis is looking good in Gator colors

The tucked in polo with the jorts is making a comeback. Well actually it never left Gainesville. I got to hand it to new offensive coordinator Charlie Weis. He can pull it off. Unfortunately for the Florida football program Weis appearance isn't the only embarrassing sight on campus. The Florida offense with senior QB/huge disappointment John Brantley looked absolutely horrendous during their spring game. It took Brantley a while just to complete a pass. Like over a quarter. Brantley's performance during the Orange and Blue scrimmage didn't exactly bring confidence to an offense that struggled all season in 2010 to find an identity and the endzone. It could be a long season for Gator Nation.

Corndog Commercial

Actually it's a commercial for TUMS and now I have lost all desire to eat a corndog. I'm surprised they didn't put mayo on the tip to give it that authentic look. I know I would have been much more aroused.

Video via HotClicks

Friday, April 08, 2011

Typical Red Sox Fan Reacts to 0-6 Start

Those poor New England bastards. They have one little losing streak to start off the season and all of a sudden they start freaking out and make rant videos while masturbating with both hands. the Red Sox fans not have any dignity? It's one thing to be mad at how the season has started. I get it. Everyone including myself had Boston in the World Series. But right now just because you sit 5 games back of the first place ORIOLES after 6 games of play doesn't mean you need to go on Youtube and make masturbation videos while screaming bloody murder about how much you suck. Listen, we know Red Sox Nation is an insufferable bunch of mashed up assholes. But the season is only about 3.7% finished. You still got 96% of your season left. It's the equivalent of a Patriots fan freaking out because you started off with a bad first half. Calm the fuck down....and please stop masturbating.

Video via BarStoolSports

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Shit I would never do: Cleaning the Cobra Pit

There are only a few things I'm scared of in life. One is black women with cell phones who are driving. The other is being stuck in a cobra pit. I mean are you fucking kidding me with this guy? He is just tossing around Cobras like they are dollar bills in Pacman's hand. I'm not going to sit here and lie to you and say I could do this guy's job. I would literally have shit dripping down my leg in fear if I ever got stuck in a cobra pit. I saw this video on Jimmy Kimmel last night and I squirmed and checked the bed for snakes last night. Luckily there was only one anaconda as usual.

Red Sox reporter Heidi Watney is sick to her stomach and the Red Sox are 0-6

That was the "holy shit this is terrible" face. I'm use to that face. I see it every time my wife looks in my direction. Poor Heidi Watney. Not only does she have to put up with shitty baseball with the Red Sox being swept by the lowly Cleveland Indians but she also has to deal with shitty soul food. I feel kind of bad for the guy behind the counter. He didn't exactly get a ringing endorsement on live air.

By the way no baseball team who has ever started 0-6 has won a World Series much less made the playoffs. Sorry Chowderheads. All the money in the world and the brilliant Theo Epstein isn't going to prevent boneheaded game ending plays like this one from Darnell McDonald...

Dielectric Sound - Whiskey Rock

Thursday's afternoon jam is Denver-based Dielectric Sound's "Whiskey Rock." This bluesy/funk/southern classic rock jam band just came out with their second album called 5 Liars. They were kind enough to send me a free CD. I highly recommend buying it today on iTunes. My personal favorite is "Falling Down." Rock on bitches!

Bonus video from Quixote's in Denver:


Be sure to check out our CLEARANCE section for $5 t-shirts including the famous Catholics Vs Convicts. Order your shirts today before they sell out!

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Buck You Jeter Shirt

If you are a fan of Buck Showalter and Natty Boh's along with a general hatred for all things Yankees then this is the perfect shirt for you. We call it the BUCK YOU JETER shirt. It's only $17 and as always a portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society. Be sure to spread the word out there Nation!


Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Ohio State "gold pants" featured on Pawn Stars

Credit: History Channel by sportsxbrooks managed to get some video of last night's Pawn Stars on the History Channel which featured a man selling Ohio State player issued "gold pants" to Rick Harrison. I started laughing uncontrollably last night when this came on. I mean what are the odds this shit hits right when Jim Tressel is already in deep shit for covering up the story that got him the 5 game suspension? I'm actually shocked those little gold pants which are basically jewelry are worth that much. $1000? Wow. I can't even sell game used jerseys for near that price tag.

Chris Brown is looking for a new punching bag, targeting ND hoops player Skylar Diggins

If you don't know who Chris Brown is then here is a little friendly reminder of what he did to his girlfriend Rihanna a couple of years ago. Seems like a great guy right? Well now that Brown has moved on from beating the living piss out of Rihanna he has turned his focus on another cute, young superstar in the making. Notre Dame point guard Skylar Diggins. Cue the Jaws soundtrack. Here is Brown's twitter to Skylar...

Chris Brown

Skylar Diggins ... She's a cutie @skydigg4 congrats beautiful

Run Skylar, run!!! Skylar will be going for a National Championship tonight in Indianapolis versus Texas A&M. Someone might want to get some extra security in case Chris Brown shows up. No seriously he beats the shit out of women. releases their list of 5 Star Recruits

If you are a college football fanatic like myself you know that the game itself is not just played 3-4 months a year. Recruiting is year round and extremely important when it comes to your team's chances of reaching a BCS Bowl or going to the Shitter Bowl in December. JC Shurburtt has the extremely early list of 5 star recruits who will be seniors in high school next year that every program from coast-to-coast would die for to sign on the dotted line.

1. Arik Armstead, OT/DE, Elk Grove, Calif./Pleasant Grove

Scouting report: On the hoof there’s probably not a better looking lineman in the country. Armstead is every bit of 6-7 and at that size he can play either side of the football. Though he’s ranked as an offensive tackle, Armstead is projected to play defensive line at USC which shows his remarkable versatility, etc. etc. etc.

Recruiting buzz: Armstead has been committed to USC since his sophomore year and is firm in that commitment but does plan fall visits to Miami, Alabama and Auburn.

2. Dorial Green-Beckham, WR, Springfield, Mo.

Scouting Report:[ There isn’t an offensive skill player in the country as physically gifted as the 6-foot-6, 221-pound Green-Beckham. A big physical player that runs well, can get high in the air, and is dangerous as both a possession receiver and deep threat. He’s also a multi-sport athlete that’s a standout in track and field and basketball.

Recruiting Buzz:The Green-Beckham camp has kept his recruitment close to the vest. Many of the SEC schools figure to be in the hunt. Look for places like Missouri, Nebraska, Notre Dame, Ohio State and Oklahoma to possibly be players as well

3. Eddie Goldman, DT, Washington, D.C./Friendship Collegiate

Scouting report: Goldman is a powerful defensive tackle with quick hands and excellent agility for a 300-plus pounder. He’s dominant at his current level of play, but his ceiling remains high as he is not a finished product by any stretch. Goldman has been on the radar since his sophomore year and there’s a reason why nearly 50 college programs have offered. 

Recruiting buzz: Goldman’s recruitment is wide-open. There is some Miami talk. He could visit North Carolina soon. The Heels signed defensive tackle Marvin Austin out of D.C. in the 2007 class.

4. Andrus Peat, OT, Tempe, Ariz./Corona Del Sol

Andrus Peat has the frame to be a big-time offensive tackle at the collegiate level and beyond.
Scouting report: At offensive tackle, size is a very important part of the equation and Peat has got an ideal body and frame to be a franchise left tackle. He is a lean 6-foot-7 and 280 pounds with long arms and he lacks bad weight. Between the whistles, Peat is so powerful through the hips. When he locks onto a defender, he isn’t content just getting a body on a body, he runs his feet, drives his hips and finishes his blocks with a defender’s mentality. As a pass blocker, Peat has a text book pass set, showing a flat back, great knee bend and the foot quickness to combat elite edge speed.

Recruiting buzz: Peat’s brother Todd Peat signed with Nebraska in the class of 2011 so the Huskers will be a factor but the younger Peat looks to be wide open at the moment with offers from around the country.

5. Shaq Thompson, ATH, Sacramento, Calif./Grant

Scouting report: At an athletic 6-1, Thompson has a great safety physique. He’s got length to give him a center fielder’s range and the strength to come up and play in the box. On the high school level, Thompson has demonstrated some terrific versatility as an elite high school running back. In fact, athletically, Thompson has the capability to play running back, receiver safety or cornerback on the next level. As a defensive back he is advanced in his ability to backpedal and turn-and-run and he has very strong ball skills. He also has speed, Thompson has been clocked at under 11 seconds in the 100 and under 22 seconds in the 200 in high school.

Recruiting buzz: A previous Cal commit, Thompson recently de-committed from Jeff Tedford’s program however most expect that he still ends up in Berkeley when all is said and done.

6. John Theus, OT, Jacksonville, Fla./Bolles

Scouting report: Theus has everything one looks for in an offensive tackle both physically and athletically. The 6-foot-6, 295-pound Theus has the height, weight distribution, natural strength and foot quickness to translate to the next level. Not only does he have a quick first step and quickness in his pass set, but he has body quickness and reactionary quickness to react to defenders in front of him or after re-directing an initial pass rush move. He is as adept of a run blocker as pass blocker with the ability to run his feet and work to the second level with fluid movement. His initial punch is powerful and he is a finisher in the run game.

Recruiting buzz: Theus is considered a heavy Georgia lean with Florida running second. His brother, Nathan Theus, signed with Georgia in February.

7. Keith Marshall, RB, Raleigh, N.C./Millbrook

Scouting report: Marshall is the most explosive back in the country. He runs wild through opposing defenses and has excellent balance, vision and feet. Give him a crease and he is gone. Marshall runs a legitimate 4.3-second 40-yard dash and is a standout in track. He’s also a good student who plans to enroll at the college of his choice early.

Recruiting buzz: North Carolina and Georgia have long been considered the favorites, but Florida, Florida State, Auburn, Alabama, Clemson and South Carolina, among others, could get in the mix as well.

8. Stefon Diggs, ATH, Olney, Md./Good Counsel

Scouting report: Diggs is a physical, fast gamer who could play either side of the ball at a high level in college. We like him slightly better as a cornerback because that’s where he is more rare, but could just as likely see him being a high-end receiver at a BCS Conference program. Diggs can re-direct well and is deceptively quick in addition to having legitimate speed and being a straight-up great football player.

Recruiting buzz: Nearly every school east of the Mississippi and many west of the Mississippi has offered. Diggs has given no hints about where he wants to go, except to say at one point he is interested in “Florida schools” Florida, Florida State and Miami (Fla.).

9. Kyle Murphy, OT, San Clemente, Calif.

Scouting report: Murphy is a slender 6-7 275-pounds with plenty of room to add good weight. Already he is a powerful player at offensive tackle. Murphy shows terrific athleticism getting to the second level, locating defenders and being physical at the point of attack. When engaged he keeps a powerful wide base, keeps his legs running and drives through defenders. Athletically Murphy is elite at the offensive line position and that shows in the pass game as well, with a good quick pass set and flexibility through his ankles and hips. A cerebral prospect with a 3.9 GPA and a brother starting at Harvard, Murphy has a low bust quotient as well.

Recruiting buzz: Murphy is open in his recruitment, but has noted that Oregon, Cal, Stanford and USC stick out as he has visited all four.

10. Gunner Kiel, QB, Columbus, Ind./East

Scouting report: The most polished signal-caller in the nation, the 6-foot-4, 210-pound Kiel has great mechanics, a strong arm, and is a physical runner that can make plays with his legs when needed. He displays excellent toughness on film and has other added intangibles that make him the best in the country at his position.

Recruiting buzz: Kiel hasn’t narrowed down his lengthy list of scholarship offers, but a few schools that appear to be in good early shape are Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Missouri, Notre Dame, Oklahoma and possibly USC.

11. Eddie Williams, ATH, Panama City, Fla./Arnold

Scouting report: Williams is impressive at first glance before ever watching a play or game. He is a big safety at 6-foot-3, 210-pounds, that can run, has ideal quickness for his size, has shown timing for the ball in the air, is a hard hitter filling in the run game, eats up ground with a quickness and stride combination, pursues the ball with nasty intentions and intimidates receivers that challenge the middle of the field. His physicality and ability to take on and blow up would be blockers followed by a sure tackle sets him apart from many others. He possesses the body type to carry 230-pounds or more, which brings into question if he will stay at safety long term or grow into an outside linebacker. Wherever he ends up, he’s going to be a playmaker.

Recruiting buzz: Williams committed to Alabama in August of 2010 after considering offers from Florida State, Florida and many others.

12. Yuri Wright, CB, Ramsey, N.J./Don Bosco

D.J. Humphries has everything you want in an offensive tackle.
Scouting report: Maybe the most natural cornerback in this year’s class, Wright has rare instincts that makes allows him to play two steps faster than anyone else on the field. His transition out of a backpedal is smooth and fluid, he can run with any wide receiver and he has elite size when the ball arrives. Wright’s athleticism and makeup speed allows him to be slow in his backpedal and trust his quick recognition skills to make plays big plays downhill in the quick game and the run game. He also brings special teams value as a player that blocks a lot of kicks off of the edge, showing not only athleticism but a playmaking knack.

Recruiting Buzz: With offers from around the country, Wright has listed Michigan, Notre Dame, Rutgers and Georgia as schools that stand out.

13. D.J. Humphries, OT, Charlotte, N.C./Mallard Creek

Scouting report: Humphries has feet and a big frame, is flexible and strong. He’s everything you look for in a big-time offensive line prospect and has a great pass set for a high school trenchman. He gets good extension with his long arms and moves his feet well enough to make life tough for even the best high school-level defensive end. There’s a reason why nearly a half hundred schools have offered.

Recruiting buzz: Humphries is an SEC lean with Florida, South Carolina, Tennessee and LSU high on his list and the Gators the team to beat.

14. Mario Edwards, DE, Denton, Texas/Ryan

Scouting report: Edwards is a unique prospect. He tips the scales at 280-pounds, but has the ability to play strong side defensive end due to combination of natural strength, understanding of leverage, enough quickness and the speed and desire to pursue the football. He is powerful bull rusher that registered nearly 20 sacks in 2010 along with an eye-popping 50 tackles for loss. Doesn’t stay blocked long and is very aggressive with the hands. His initial contact with high school offensive linemen normally ends with the lineman getting knocked backwards, off balance or to the ground. He has the body type to weigh 300-pounds and be a terrific penetrating, pass rushing three-technique down the line. He is the son of former Florida State and NFL cornerback Mario Edwards, who is on the coaching staff at Denton Ryan.

Recruiting buzz: Edwards committed to Florida State March 15 over Texas. Had verbal offers from the majority of the nations top programs.

15. Johnathan Gray, RB, Aledo, Texas

Scouting report: Gray is a complete back. At 5-foot-11, 200-pounds, he that rare ability to run the ball inside with vision, quick feet in the hole and subtle run maximizing power as well as the speed and quickness combination to get to the edge. He has the ability to score the ball on long runs or in the red zone. In the passing game, he has quality hands and doesn’t waste any motion after the catch. Also capable as a pass protector. Running back is in the bloodlines. His father, James Gray, played running back at Texas Tech. He will enter his senior season with more than 7,000 career-rushing yards.

Recruiting buzz: Gray is likely to announce his decision on his 18th birthday, April 22. Texas is considered the favorite over TCU and Texas A&M.
He has been to each school at least twice since the beginning of February.

16. Jameis Winston, QB, Hueytown, Ala.

Scouting report: There aren’t many concerns when it comes to the ability of Jameis Winston, in fact his baseball ability may be the biggest worry of all. A possible early draft pick in the Major League Baseball draft, Winston’s athleticism is evident. He is a prospect with good size as he continues to add weight. He has a big arm that he uses effectively both inside and outside of the pocket. Winston also has great big-play ability on the ground. He can use his speed and elusiveness not only to extend plays, but also to make defenders miss downfield and outrun opponents.

Recruiting Buzz: Many consider Winston’s recruitment to be a battle between Alabama and Florida State with the Tide on top. Auburn’s recent push has made the Tigers a factor as well.

17. Devin Fuller, QB/ATH, Old Tappan, N.J.

Scouting report: Fuller is an electric offensive football player with breakaway speed and excellent quickness and change of direction. As a quarterback, he’s a good passer in addition to being able to consistently make th magic happen with his legs. If he moves to another position, many believe he could be a big-time cornerback at the college level. After watching him cover at a 7-on-7 event in February, we could see that as well.

Chris Black is one of the most complete receivers in the 2012 class.
Recruiting buzz: Is legitimately wide open. There is talk to watch out for Georgia Tech, watch out for Virginia and some other schools that have talked to him about playing quarterback specifically, but Fuller is the type of prospect that examines and considers every offer equally.

18. Zeke Pike, QB, Fort Mitchell, Ky./Dixie Heights

Scouting report: The 6-foot-5, 220-pound Pike is a football player through and through. Watch his film and he’s not only making outstanding throws and plays from the quarterback position, but he’s also wreaking havoc from his defensive end position and blocking field goals.

Recruiting buzz: Pike has yet to name favorites but said that when he narrows his list, Auburn, Arkansas, North Carolina, Purdue and Tennessee will likely make the first cut. Places like Florida, Florida State, LSU and Michigan could also make a strong push.

19. Chris Black, WR, Jacksonville, Fla./First Coast

Scouting report: Black may not be the most physically imposing wide receiver in the 2012 class, but he is one of the best. The 5-foot-11, 170-pounder is blessed with special quickness and playmaking ability. Black features electric feet, terrific hands, impeccable timing, ideal separation in and out of breaks, the ability to make multiple defenders miss in space and is strong with the ball. His ability to snatch the ball out of the air in a crowd sets him apart, along with his ability after the catch. Black is a threat to score every time he touches the ball. Runs after the catch or in the return game with vision.

Recruiting buzz: Black has Florida State and Alabama as co-leaders with Florida and South Carolina running third and fourth.

20. Darius Hamilton, DT, Ramsey, N.J./Don Bosco

Scouting report: The son of former New York Giant Keith Hamilton, Darius is an active defensive lineman with a quick first step extremely quick hands that lines up both on the inside and outside for his high school team and makes plays in both spots. His versatility, size/speed/athleticism and bloodlines make him a can’t miss type of prospect.

Recruiting buzz: Hamilton is wide open. He plans to make several unofficial visits before beginning to narrow his list. Rutgers would love to keep him and several of his teammates in-state.

21. Jarron Jones, DT, Rochester, N.Y./Aquinas

Scouting report: Jones is raw, but has great quickness and huge upside. Lik Armstead, he could end up on the offensive side of the ball, but has an excellent ceiling on defense as well. Once word of his ability and his film started circulating, Jones’ offer list shot into the double digits.

Recruiting buzz: Is wide-open, but Penn State, Rutgers and schools in the Northeast are all factors. He plans to visit State College in the near future.

Kate Upton doing the Dougie

You may be asking yourself why did I post this?

Well why not? Seriously you should never have to ask that question if you come to this blog.

One Shining Moment 2011 March Madness

Always great to hear Luther Vandross busting out the vocals. I'm not even going to talk about last night's abortion of a National Championship game. It's honestly not worth writing about. I just wanted to hear Vandross belt out the "One Shining Moment" one last time.

Monday, April 04, 2011

National Championship Game Prediction

Tonight's matchup of the Butler Bulldogs versus the Connecticut Huskies could be an epic showdown. Butler has been my tournament automatic winner. They always beat the spread and they always seem to be the underdog. They almost won the National Championship last season and still Vegas thinks they shouldn't be favored. Butler is 11-1 in their last 12 tournament games.

UCONN comes in as the hottest team in the nation. They rode the coattails of Kemba Walker to an improbable Big East Championship at Madison Square Garden and they haven't let up. They are 12-0 in neutral site games. Jim Calhoun has two national championships. If UCONN was playing anybody else besides Butler I would take them in this game.

The pick is BUTLER +3. I think they win their first National Championship. Matt Howard and his floppy hair clean up the boards and win the front court battle. Kemba will get his points and will again have another memorable performance. But I'm taking Butler and Brad Stevens. He has created a dynasty. Butler is just as talented as UCONN and they win because their bench is better and they want it more.

Prediction: Butler 61 UCONN 59

How Sweep It Is!

Screenshot via CamdenChat

It has been a long 14 years since the Baltimore Orioles started the season 3-0 so I'm just going to savor the flavor of the AL East standings at this point. The Orioles went down to Tampa and rode their young arms to a clean 3 game sweep of the Rays. Between Jeremy Guthrie, Chris Tillman, and Zach Britton the starters only gave up 1 run. While it's way too early to start making definitive statements in regards to how good the Orioles are or how bad the Rays could be this season it is just nice to the see the Orioles wake up on the right side of the bed for once. If the young pitching holds up then this could be a magical season because the hitting is definitely going to be top 5 in the league. Since Buck Showalter has taken over as manager the Orioles have a 37-24 record. This would be good for a 4 1/2 game lead in the AL East over the 61 game timespan.

Nationals fan talking shit to some Braves fans

Calm down old man. It's only the first weekend. You still got 159 games left. The Washington Nationals have plenty of losses left in their tank so you might want to ease up on the beer. It's going to be a long season. It's all about pace. He is correct about one thing: "This ain't Atlanta!" Winners reside in Atlanta.

If you are a Braves fan you have to like what you saw out of Derek Lowe and Huddy. Both veterans are on the wrong side of 30 but are still pitching like they are in their prime.

Video via TheBigLead

Friday, April 01, 2011

Jacob Tucker, 5'11 White Guy, Wins NCAA Dunk Contest

Jacob Tucker is the 5'11 point guard from Illinois College with a 50 inch vertical jump. Are you fucking kidding me? 50 inches? Damn. This kid has mad skill when it comes to dunks. I think he might even be better than Blake Griffin. He got in the dunk contest because of his YouTube videos. Now is there a chance some NBA team could draft him? Maybe 2nd round. I would love to see him in next year's NBA Dunk Contest. Tucker vs. Blake would be epic.

Video via BigLeadSports